I'm pretty sure I started like rubbing on his
dick in the cab on the way there. And then we
were like making out a little bit and stuff and
just feeling around. So anyways, it was like
a ways. It was a ways away. But it was late at
night, thankfully. So we get there. It's this
super nice apartment building, you know, has
the doorman and everything and locked and got
to have a key card and a code and all this stuff
and fancy flowers in there. The following podcast
is for informational purposes only and does not
constitute legal, medical, or any type of professional
advice. While we strive to provide accurate and
up -to -date information, laws and regulations
surrounding sexuality, relationships, and consent
can vary by location and are subject to change.
If you have specific legal or medical concerns,
we strongly recommend consulting with a licensed
professional in your jurisdiction. Listener discretion
is advised, as this podcast may discuss adult
themes and sensitive topics. By continuing to
listen, you confirm that you are 18 years or
older. Welcome to the Siren of Freedom podcast,
sounding the alarm by bringing clarity and freedom
to the realm of sexuality. Our aim is to give
others a place to share their stories and release
themselves from the weight of shame and guilt.
Welcome to another night with the Siren of Freedom.
And tonight we're doing one of our favorite segments,
Slut Diaries. And we were just sitting out in
the hot tub, me and my hubby and producer, Socrates.
Say hello, babe. Hey, y 'all. Hey. So we're just
sitting in the hot tub and I was like, man, we're
doing Slut Diaries tonight. And I was like, what
story should I tell? And what did I say, babe?
New York, New York, big city of dreams. So, man,
this must have been 2016. Hold up, hold up. Before
we get into that, what's going on with life?
You know, I want to start like. We don't need
to get down to business every time. I do like
to get down to business. What's been exciting
recently? You don't have to get into too many
details because it can be a slut diary story
later, but what's been going on with you in your
sexual journey recently that you can share with
people that's helped you enjoy sex better or
helped you mentally or emotionally or anything
like that? Well, it's sexual, but it's like not
sexual. It can be taken many different directions.
But I've realized recently that I really enjoy
being blindfolded in a variety of situations.
And so much so, like I wear an eye mask every
single night when I sleep, if I take a nap. And
during sex sometimes. So I enjoy it when Socrates
will blindfold me. Sometimes he'll take me little
places around the house and do things. But I
think it just ultimately helps my brain relax
and really enjoy the experience. Whereas I think
some people, that freaks them out. I totally
get it. But for me, just like taking away one
of the senses just helps me chill out. You know,
where we've also done some things where I've
had noise -canceling headphones on or headphones
and play soft music and be blindfolded while
doing some sexual things with softies. So I just
really like that the sensory deprivation helps
me to relax and to enjoy the experience more.
Nice, nice, nice, nice. Tell me, then we'll get
on to your story, New York, New York. Tell me
how that's helped you in just regular day, everyday
life. Well, so much so I decided I'm probably
going to carry a blindfold with me. And, you
know, if I'm sitting somewhere, say I get to
an appointment early, like 10 minutes early,
I'm going to set a timer. And I'm going to put
a blindfold on and the soft music or maybe some
affirmations and just give myself a brain break
instead of sitting in the car scrolling TikTok
for 10 minutes or going in and talking to people.
Sometimes I just can take it as a midday decompression.
And so that will help with my anxiety that I
have. So that's how I think it'll it'll translate
into everyday life as well. All right, New York.
So I think we talked, we definitely talked about
2017 in another episode, but we're dialing it
back a year before that. I had just started traveling
on my own. I basically was like, fuck it. Nobody's
ready to go anywhere. Too much coordination with
my friends. You know, of course I went. places
with my children. But as a single mom, I was
like, I just need to get out of here. And one
of my clients had told me a story about how they
were preparing to retire. They had everything
lined up, this beautiful home, and they were
going to go travel. They had all these travel
plans. And then they got hit by a drunk driver.
And the husband was now wheelchair bound and
she had a whole bunch of physical issues from
it. And I was telling her like how I was planning
to go and travel, you know, someday when, you
know, save up the money, all these things. And
then she just took me by the hands and she looked
at me with tears in her eyes and she said, sweetheart,
don't wait. And so I had always wanted to go
to New York City. So. I booked a plane ticket,
like, the next day. And I just booked it, you
know, back then I was pre -broke. So I had enough
money, I booked the ticket. And then I booked
it for a few months out, and then I, you know,
hustled and did extra stuff and got an Airbnb
in downtown Manhattan. Beautiful place. Uh, I'll
never do a three story up on the third floor.
There was no elevator hauling my bag up there.
So I, I fly into JFK is atrocious. Like the traffic,
everything I'd never, I'd never been there. It
never does the biggest city I've ever been to,
you know, and I really hadn't been to anything
too crazy before that LA a little bit, but not
too much. So it's It is forever to get an Uber.
I don't know what it said, like 45 minutes or
something. And I just didn't, I had no idea it
would be that bad. So then I'm looking and it
says like Uber Black, you know, so it's like
a Cadillac Escalade will come get you and this
whole thing. Well, it was like double the price,
but it was like 10 minutes. So I was like, heck
yeah, like time is money, right? And I wanted
to get to my Airbnb. And it was probably some
stupid time like rush hour on a Friday or something
crazy because it took like two hours at least,
I think, to get from JFK to downtown Manhattan.
And then I get there and it was a nice guy that
had the Airbnb. We each had our own bedroom and
our own bathroom and it was beautiful. It was
a beautiful apartment. Super nice guy. I can't
remember where he said he was from, but African
guy. And he had lots of great tips. And no, I'll
just spoiler alert, I did not hook up with him.
So that's not where the story is going. No, just
a super nice guy. I think he likes thinner women
because I was showing him some pictures of my
friends. And he's like, oh, next time bring your
friends. And I was like, I see where you're going.
To each his own, right? So for fun, I was like,
let me get on the dating apps. So I'm pretty
sure I just got on Tinder while I was there.
And I was like, let's see what the big city has
to offer. Like, you know, from where I'm from,
it's not very diverse. So I'm like, okay, this
will be awesome because there's just every shade
of the rainbow out there. So I was really excited.
I swipe and I am just like overwhelmed. There
is like every guy on there is hot. And I'm just
like, are these all just like models or like
what's going on? And as you know, I prefer black
men and was no different at that time. And so,
man, I'm just swiping. I'm matching with like
every guy. And I'm just like, what is going on?
You know, as most ladies know that have been
on those apps, you kind of just got to weed through
people. Some people in media are like, what the
fuck, you know, and all that. And I wasn't, I
wasn't quite ready to go for that, but I was
just wanting to have an adventure. So I talked
to like a few guys, some of them, the logistics
just didn't work out. Well, there was a guy,
um, I'm just say his name because it's like,
who cares? It's like, there's probably a thousand
Vincents in New York city, but his name was Vincent.
He's like, OK, so we talked for like a couple
of days and he's like, what day are you free?
I can't remember which day I was there for like
four or five days in New York City. And so we
picked a day. I think it was on the weekend.
And he's like, meet me at this one bar. And it
was like a rooftop bar. So it was super cool.
I was like looking at the city like this guy
knew what he was doing. But I didn't I didn't
ask him how tall he was. So, and height doesn't
matter. I just like to know ahead of time. So
if I'm looking for a short king or a tall king.
But he was probably about 5 '6". And I am 5 '8
without heels. And I wore heels that night. So
it was whatever. Didn't bother him. I just took
me a second and then I just, you know, rolled
on through. Nice conversation. Nice place. Paid
for everything. You know, our drinks. And...
He just told me to, you know, do you trust me
to plan the date for the evening? I said, yeah,
don't live here. Like, sure, go for it. So we
met at the rooftop bar, had a couple drinks,
look over the city. And then he's like, okay,
are you ready? And there was people eating there.
So I thought, oh, we're going to eat here, you
know. He's like, nope, nope, we're going somewhere
else to eat. And I was like, all right. So we
got a cab and then we go to this place called
Eataly. Have you heard of it, babe? Okay, so
it's a market, like an Italian market, and right
in the middle of the market is a restaurant.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's like you're just sitting
in the middle of everything. It's super cool.
Yeah. And so we got a bunch of weird food that
now I know is just glorified charcuterie. At
the time, I was like, what is all this weird
food? But it was charcuterie. It was prosciutto,
right? So I can't even say it. All these cheeses
and things. And I was like, that's kind of weird.
Like I would rather just had a steak, but I wasn't
going to complain, right? I'm going on a free
date. So it was like, I feel like we just ate
appetizers or something, but apparently it was
supposed to be a whole meal. And it was like
$275. And the drinks were like a hundred and
something. And this guy is just like peeling
out the cash, like no big deal. I'm like, all
right, whatever, you know. And then he's like,
do you want to go do the next thing? And I was
like, there's a next thing? This is awesome.
So we go to the meatpacking district. And we
go to this little underground salsa club. And
it was just packed with people. And it was super
dark and super hot and sweaty. But, like, it
was so fun. it didn't even matter that I wasn't
a good dancer like guys would just grab you spin
you around like just do the whole thing it was
so fun so we had a ton of fun there and by the
end of it I'm like oh this is awesome like we
are three for three on good things and then um
he's like okay he's like are you I'm getting
kind of tired you ready to go and it was like
two or three in the morning by that point and
I'm like sure yeah so we go to leave and Then
he's like, well, where do you want to go? And
I was like, oh, I thought you were planning the
date. So like, what are we doing now? And he's
like, well, I'd like to take you back. And, you
know, they always say, show me the apartment.
Like, we don't care what your apartment looks
like. And then I'm pretty sure I started like
rubbing on his dick in the cab on the way there.
And then we were like making out a little bit
and stuff and just feeling around. So anyways,
it was like a ways. It was a ways away. But it
was late at night, thankfully. So we get there.
It's this super nice apartment building, you
know, has the doorman and everything and locked
and got to have a key card and a code and all
this stuff and fancy flowers in the foyer. I
had brought a little spending night purse just
in case because, you know, I was like, I don't
know how this is going to go. So I was ready
for whatever. And we go upstairs and it's a super
nice apartment. Like all these glass windows,
like some you see out of the movies, but not
quite so big. It wasn't huge. It was like a one
bedroom, one bathroom, living room, kitchen,
but lots. But his bed wasn't put together. It
was like a mattress and box spring. And then
the pieces were like, he's like, I just got my
bed. He's like, I just moved in here. And I was
like, oh, OK, well, that makes sense. No big
deal. You know, I met I've met lots of guys just
moved in places. It's not a big deal. So I go
and I use the restroom. I'm like, oh, this place
pretty clean. It should be. You just moved in.
Right. And go back in the bedroom and. We start
messing around, take our clothes off and all
the things. And I, well, he, I'm pretty sure
he went down on me at that point. And then, you
know, then I was like sucking his dick and just
doing all things, but he just like, wasn't getting
hard. And I was like, okay, well maybe like,
it's because he did drink, but I was like, not
that much, like two. I was like, and this is
when I was pretty new to the whole life. So I
wasn't used to. especially just like one night
stand things like guys not getting hard because
usually by that point they're like ready to go
because it's been a while or you know if you're
just prowling the bars um so I keep trying to
work on it you know help him out whatever and
then he just starts crying and I was like okay
Well, slow down now. What kind of crying are
we talking about? Are we talking about boo -hoo?
Like, are we talking about a little teardrop
fell on the edge of his eye? Like, what are we
talking? No, like boo -hoo. Like sobbing. He
just starts sniffing. And first I was like, oh,
just kind of like sneeze or something. And then
he starts, no, like crying, like boo -hooing.
And I said, um, are you okay? I was like did
I hurt you or something and he's like no and
so I kind of just leave it alone and I crawl
up next to him and he like buries his face in
my chest and is just sobbing and he's like I'm
really sorry I think I'm just having trouble
and I was like that's fine you know I've heard
these things can happen because I think that
was like my first time having an experience like
that and he's like I said, well, you know, sometimes
we all have trouble. He's like, I just can't
get my mind right. We had such a good night.
You know, I said, yeah, we did. We had a great
night. And he's like, I think the problem is,
is that it's my ex -wife's birthday. And I miss
her so much. Okay. What do you think of that?
Was he crying and saying this at the same time?
Yeah. Sobbing into my chest. And I don't even
know if they were divorced yet because it's like
he just moved in that apartment, right? So I
think, you know, it was fresh. And I was like,
and you know what? I'll tell another story another
day, but that is not the first time that a guy.
cried during sex and I'm not shaming it at all
but I'm just like sometimes you just don't know
like what people are going through you know and
although it's very awkward I just tried really
hard not to like make it any worse right so then
he kind of you know gets it out and calms himself
down And he's like, okay, well, I just want to
try again. And I'm like, I'm not in the mood
at this point. But I'm kind of like, well, whatever.
And I think to myself, this is going to be a
good story for the girls. So I just keep doing
whatever. So I end up, and you know, babe, before
I got my boob job, I didn't really have a lot
of boobs. But somehow I titty fucked this man.
And he just came on my boobs. And then that was
like it. And then he leaves the room and I'm
just laying there with his jizz all over my chest.
Like, what the fuck am I doing? Like, what the
fuck am I doing? And he goes out to the living
room and then I immediately pick up my phone
and I text my two best girls at the time. Mallory,
which you guys have heard about in another episode.
And then this other girl will call her Jennifer.
And I'm just like telling them what's going on.
And they're like. And I'm like, I don't know
what to do. Like, I feel awkward as fuck. I have
jizz on my chest. Like, what should I? He went
in the other room. I don't know, like, what he's
doing. I don't know what to say. This is just
so, I've never been in this situation. And they're
like, just get up and leave, bitch. And I'm like,
oh, okay, yeah. But I just didn't know what was
going to happen, right? I didn't think he was
going to get mad or anything. I was just like,
I don't want to have that. Oh, that was great
conversation. But thankfully when I got up and
like went to the bathroom to clean up, he was
on the couch, which is a buck ass naked, like
passed out, just passed out. And so I was like,
Oh sweet. So I like hurried, went in the bathroom,
like cleaned up. And then I just put on my little
pajamas that I had brought like these little
short shorts and a little tank top. Right. And
then shoved it, my shoes and everything. No,
I think I had my shoes in my hand, you know,
typical. run of shame is what I would call this
and I was like I just gotta get out of here because
I don't want him to wake up and I called an Uber
on my phone and then I go downstairs and the
door guy was like oh and I said don't ask don't
ask and he's like have a good night and he's
like do you have a safe ride home he was like
really nice I said yeah the Uber's coming to
get me so the best part was that When I left
and got in the Uber, it was that Uber driver's
first night ever driving Uber. And I told him
the entire story. And then he just was like,
this is wow. Is this what every night driving
Uber is going to be like? Oh, I don't know. So
it was pretty funny. But then I think right when
I got in the Uber, like he woke up and he started
texting me. Where'd you go? Why'd you leave?
And I was just like, I'm just really tired. I'm
going to go back to my Airbnb. He's like, okay,
well maybe we can have a picnic tomorrow and
I'll make it up to you. He's like, I'd like to
do that since it's my ex -wife's birthday. I
want to do something fun and not think about
her. And I was like. I am not going on a picnic
with you. But I probably just told him some bullshit,
like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the next
day, tomorrow, whatever, I got too busy, magically,
mysteriously, and just blew him off because I
was like, this is too weird. I'm sorry you're
going through this with your ex -wife, but, like,
it was too weird for me. I couldn't do it. Have
you ever had anything super weird like that happen?
I feel like you have some sort of slut story.
along those lines no nothing weird ever happened
to you like I don't know just married women hitting
on me or something like that besides that no
oh that's boring yeah I don't have a lot of weird
stories I really don't I guess I'm fortunate
I don't have a lot of weird or like Horror stories
when it comes to sex. Yeah, I'm glad. Maybe men
are just a little bit. I don't know how many
guys I've heard tell me anything bad because
guys don't want to seem like they complain about
it because then they're really not getting it
from the female community. I don't know. But
women, we tell each other all the stories. If
it's good, if it's really good, a lot of times
in those days, I would not. tell people, I would
just be like, oh, it's really good. But if it
was bad, oh, you're getting all the details.
Especially if it was your man. You weren't, like,
telling everything about it. Why not? Because
that was, like, your man, and then you weren't
gonna, like, tell other bitches about him. Why
not? Because that's mine. What's gonna happen?
I wanna dig deep into this mystery that women...
Like, I've heard this over and over and over.
If he's bad, oh, we're going to tell you everything.
But the better he is, the least information.
Because their women aren't really that excited
because they're like, oh, that's your man and,
like, that's cool for you. They almost get jealous.
But you tell a bad story, they're like, yeah,
bitch, I've been there. Like, fuck men. You know?
Whatever. Like, there's some camaraderie in that.
And then in the good stories, they're like, fuck
you, bitch. You got a good guy. He takes care
of you. Or the classic, does he have a brother
comment? Stuff like that. So that was New York
City. I also went to the Museum of Sex while
I was there. And that was very eye -opening.
I went with a woman that I met online at, it
was a group called The Woman Hole on Facebook
and they tell lots of crazy sexual stories. And
so she was on there and she's like, I live in
New York City. I said, I'd love to meet up for
lunch. And she's like, yeah, let's go to the
Museum of Sex. So that's really interesting because
it has like all the birth control contraptions,
all different kinds of sex toys through the ages.
um like drawn pornography I guess and then books
from like old novels and stuff and then just
talks about you know animals versus humans and
their sex lives and all kinds of interesting
things and then there's even a bounce house that
has a bunch of inflatable boobs in it and you
can bounce around in inflatable booby world which
we did not do because it was extra And I was
like, eh, that's fine. We peeked in there at
people bouncing around on the boobs. New York
City was really fun. But that was the only guy.
After that, I was like, that's a good enough
story. Now, if I went, like, nowadays and was
single, I would be a lot more crazy than that,
I think. I'd try to have a new guy every night
or something. But I was tired. I was tired from
walking around and... Doing all the things and
riding a bike all around the city. So by the
time every day was over, I was just ready to
go to bed. But it was fun. I always would try
to mix in some slut time whenever I would travel.
Just always be open to something happening. Either
meeting a random stranger at a bar or a restaurant.
And I don't think there was any trips. I don't
think there was any trips I took where I didn't
hook up with someone, though. I think every single
time, no matter where I went, either someone
off of an app or just meeting someone somewhere
randomly. It was fun. It was a good time. I recommend
it. I recommend it. All right. You ready for
our hitter? Sure. What did you do to not let
all of that sexual activity, like, be harmful
to your mental health? Harmful? Mm -hmm. It was
helpful. Okay. Why was it helpful? Because a
lot of my friends that were single, well, Jennifer
and Mallory were on the ho train with me, so
it was fine. Mallory, probably the least. But
me and Jennifer, every year we would like sit
down and like be like, let's write down the names
of all the guys. And then we would jokingly give
out a little ho crown. We did this for like two
or three years. So her and I were always battling.
But anybody else that we knew that was like trying
to like wait and have a relationship and only
sleep with people when it was meaningful. Like
they all just seemed like really. cranky and
depressed and frustrated all the time and that's
all they ever talked about is how they were frustrated
with men and me Mallory and Jennifer we would
tell the guy stories but we would just laugh
and move on because we were just out to have
fun and just interact with men in whatever capacity
if some of them we ended up going on a few dates
some of them we never went on a date some people
it was a one -night stand you know some people
we hooked up with a few times But we always got
really good stories out of it. Either funny or,
like, awkward or mostly funny. Or some really
good ones. Like, this one guy was like, his body
felt like melted butter. And so they still say
stuff like that to me. Like, what about that
one guy? It was like butter. So, you know, just
little things like that. Or we'd go to a music
festival. We were always just like living our
life. So to me, like being a hoe was like better
for my mental health because it was, I think
that I was doing it with the girls too. Like
not at the same time, like even though we were
in the same hotel room a few different times.
Um, but because we were all out there being hoes
and we were all older, uh, divorced women. I
think that was a big thing. Like we were in our
mid thirties, divorced, kind of same place in
life. And then we were all just like encouraging
each other to just go be the biggest toes we
wanted to be. And then we would meet up on like
a weekday or whatever. We were always together
and we would always get together and like talk
about what we did or, oh, did you end up going
home with that guy? Or like, you know, so -and
-so. Jennifer was kind of working her way through
some of the football. guys in our community um
which ironically I never muddied in those waters
except for one dude so which is kind of weird
for me I thought that would be a good place to
you know get some dudes but anyways I'll let
Jennifer have that genre um yeah so I think it
was good for our mental health because we were
just having the time of our lives and sharing
those experiences with each other so I never,
ever, ever thought of it as something I had to
protect myself from. It just felt good. I can't
wait. I love the slut diaries and I can't wait
for the next one. I need to start writing down.
some of the ideas for the stories. If you ladies
listening have any good slut stories that you
want to come on here and do the diaries of an
ethical slut, send us an email at the siren of
freedom at gmail .com. And we would love to have
you on. You can be anonymous. You know, if you've
been listening, you know, we use fake names,
but we'd love to hear your stories and like.
whatever has happened to you at whatever phase
of life that you were a hoe. We'd love to hear
the hoe stories. So I've got a question. You're
a good reader. What if they don't really want
to even be on the show, but you read some stories
that they might send in? Would you be willing
to do that? Oh, yeah. I think that's a great
idea. I think that would be dope. Yeah, or if
they have... questions or maybe they want to
hear a story on a certain topic i probably have
something but yeah if they want to write their
story down um that would be dope let's do it
send in your host stories have a good night Your
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