WEBVTT

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Welcome to Don't Scare the Newbies, a podcast

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where we talk kink, raw and unfiltered. I'm Carizal,

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a lifestyle submissive and a 24 -7 dynamic who

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likes their kink heavy, intense and scary. And

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I'm S. Carizal -Sominant, who knows how to deliver

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all of the above. And today we are going to be

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talking about period sex. Oh, bloody hell. When

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you told me we were going to do an episode about

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period sex, I was a little bit perplexed. You

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often are, and I often end up being smart and

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wise, and the episodes you think are bad ideas

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are really good ones. I never said it was a bad

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idea. Just a perplexing one. Just a perplexing

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one. Well, partly because I thought, can we really

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talk for an hour and a half about period sex?

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I guess we'll find out. I mean, this morning

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I think we talked for about an hour and a half

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about why I love weeds in the garden and why

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you don't, so we're good at waffling. True. But

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I think there was also a part of me that kind

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of pondered whether or not period sex was actually

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a kink. Yeah. Because it's just sex. Yeah. And

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I guess we'll get into why there is that potential

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for it to be a kinky thing. But like people have

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sex when they're on their period. And that is

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just a thing that happens. Yeah. Rather than

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it being a specific, oh yes, I enjoy. specifically

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enjoy either sex when i am on my period or sex

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with someone who is on their period yeah and

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i think that's a big part of why it came to my

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head as an idea for an episode because for me

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it very much is a kink yeah it doesn't have to

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be and the first time i had period sex it wasn't

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motivated by a specific desire to have period

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sex but it is something that has become a time

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of the month that i weirdly look forward to even

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though my period isn't always a great time true

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stuff we do during it yeah it's really fun yeah

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fun and hot yes I mean, you enjoy various periods

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of your cycle, don't you? My whole cycle is...

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I really like being in tune with my cycle and

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I'm always worried about talking about this because

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it's sort of like the female red pill is getting

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really hung up on your cycle and acting like

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it makes you into an entirely different person

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and all of this sort of slightly gender, like,

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bio -essentialist stuff that comes along with

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it. There's a lot of baggage, but I... One of

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the things I love about being sterilized and

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not having to use hormonal contraception anymore

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is I get to experience every phase of my cycle.

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And there's a lot of really good stuff about

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every phase of my cycle. I like my period. I

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like the sexual perversions that we can engage

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in because of my period. And I like it as a sort

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of like a... A monthly reminder that my body

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is working right. I have a fairly regular cycle

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and I like that little bit of reassurance that

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things are ticking along the way they're supposed

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to. I really enjoy the follicular phase. I feel

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like I'm a lot more motivated and it's my get

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shit done period of time. Yeah. Ovulation, I

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become the bane of your life. Yes, you do. Where

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I am basically in heat. And I know that's not

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the case for everyone who ovulates again. It's

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that sort of stereotypical thing of like, oh

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my God, everyone who ovulates just becomes like

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a cat in heat. Not everyone, but definitely me.

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Yes. And I suspect in that slightly urban myth

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way that one of our cats is syncing with your...

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cycle yeah before anyone comes for us cookie

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has not been spayed because she was severely

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underweight as a young cat and i couldn't get

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her to keep any weight on and by the time she

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started keeping a healthy amount of weight on

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she was a senior cat and having had conversations

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with the vet about this it's been weighed up

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that her getting spayed may not be in her best

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interests we are not irresponsible pet owners

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and she is an indoor cat so she's not getting

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pregnant yes A very good and important caveat

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to make. She's a fragile little cat with a lot

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of issues. Like, we're doing what we can. Cookie

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has a lot of issues. Bless her. But it's not

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like every four weeks that she will go into heat.

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No. But it does seem to line up pretty well.

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Quite often it does, yeah. So you've got me following

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you around wearing tiny little shorts. Absolutely.

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cock starved begging desperate yes and then just

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as i settle down and go to sleep so you think

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you can get some peace cookie starts roaming

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the house the funniest thing about that was not

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the sound it's the cookie was in the kitchen

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and as soon as you started she ran in she's like

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oh i'm being mocked yes what is occurring um

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so yeah i really enjoy my ovulation i think there's

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things you enjoy about it like denying me and

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also making me come over and over and over again

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which is a great time for everyone yes um but

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then i quite like the luteal phase as well gets

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a gets a bit of a bad rap does the luteal right

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um and i'm definitely a little bit lower energy

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during that time but if i actually have time

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to write that's often when my best writing happens

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i'm a bit more introspective and a bit more right

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quiet um I haven't used it to its full advantage

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the last few months because I've just been so

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busy. I've had to kind of use the luteal like

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I'm in the follicular. But when I can sync what

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I'm doing to my cycle, I tend to experience life

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in a better way. Right. That's really interesting.

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Big fan of having a cycle. Yes. Good. I am pleased

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about that. Okay, so we've established that there

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is a reason why a kink podcast would talk about

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period sex as opposed to just sex. But we've

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also done a blood play episode. where I probably

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did the joke before the music. Most likely, we'll

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have to check if that's the case. Yeah, yeah,

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yeah. Yeah, and we did briefly touch on period

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play in that episode, but I deliberately sort

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of held quite a lot out of the outline because

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I thought it deserved its own space. Right, and

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why was that? I think because... For me, they

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sit in distinctly different boxes. And I think

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for a lot of people with one or both of those

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kinks, they sit in distinctly different boxes

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mix. A lot of what I get out of blood play, the

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sort of, you know, spiky impact or sharps type

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of kinks is there's a sort of destructive element

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of it. It's intense masochism. It's feeling like

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the boundaries of your body are being violated

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in ways. It activates a lot of those sides of

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my kinks. Where period play and period sex isn't.

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isn't at all like no harm is being done at all

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it's a very very natural process um so it's not

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really it can have a little bit crossover with

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masochism because of the way that my body sometimes

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feels on my period but it's not intensely masochistic

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um and it feels transgressive in a different

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way where other elements of blood play it sort

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of transgressive in the sense of doing things

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that you shouldn't do to a person that society

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i mean often in many cases quite rightly says

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you shouldn't be doing to another person um things

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that if you were doing them without consent would

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be assault where period play is transgressive

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in a way of this is seen as dirty this is seen

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as shameful this is seen as something that men

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want to know nothing about and should be kept

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mysterious and private and secretive and all

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of this baggage that gets attached to it and

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so embracing it and getting a little bit messy

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with it and sexualizing it is it's a different

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kind of transgression but an equally hot one

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yeah I think that's a really good point. I think

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I would probably, I would agree with the difference

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between the two. Yeah. It feels a little bit

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different when we're doing spiky stuff, when

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we're doing period stuff. Yeah. And I mean, they

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pair really well together. If I'm just bleeding

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out of every possible place I can be bleeding,

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that's a winner. Bleeding like a stuck pig. Oh

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my God. So I guess there's something we want

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to do today about kind of talking about what

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it is, but also... like maybe you know challenging

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some of that kind of stigma around it and demystifying

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it so that people understand more about i guess

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why we enjoy it specifically um can't speak for

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the rest of the population i suppose they might

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have very different reasons for enjoying it or

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not yeah and and like destigmatize as well i

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think like definitely demystify and destigmatize

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is both really important i think There will be

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some people who just this and will never ever

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appeal to them in a million years, like a lot

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of things we talk about. But I don't think it's

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something anyone should be like grossed out or

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horrified by. And and we will go to some gross

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places. We do go to some gross places. But the

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actual act of having. sexual contact while on

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your period is not gross it is not shameful it

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doesn't have to be any of those things you can

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make it part of those things if that's what turns

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you on yeah but it is a really natural thing

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it is for me anyway a time of my cycle where

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i do have quite a high sex drive it's not as

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high as when i'm ovulating but it's yeah it's

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a time that feels really natural for me and i

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think that's the case for a lot of people who

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menstruate is that they have desires during that

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time that may be similar to they are the rest

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of the time or it might be different to how they

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are the rest of the time And there is a lot of

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shame put on them where they're encouraged not

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to express that or they feel like they can't

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express it with certain people. So hopefully

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there's a little bit in here for everyone, kinky

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or not kinky. Yes. And of course, it is completely

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valid if you don't want to go anywhere near it

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because you... feel like shit during your period

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yeah absolutely your boundaries are your boundaries

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and i think that goes both ways as well where

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people who have periods sometimes just don't

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want to do anything at all they just want to

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curl up in bed hot water bottle loads of chocolate

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and ride it out and there are some people who

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will have partners who have periods who just

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don't like it they they don't like seeing it

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they don't like the smell they don't like the

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textures and stuff and and that is valid to have

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as boundaries as long as there's not shame attached

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to it and being like that's disgusting and wrong

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and gross how could you even ask me that yeah

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Being able to communicate about your boundaries

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as adults is a really important part of any,

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I was going to say any sexual relationship, but

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just any relationship. Any relationship, yes.

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Any contact with another human, treat them well.

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It's one of the things that we keep coming back

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to time and time and time and time again, isn't

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it? To the point that it gets a little boring.

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Communication. Communication. Yes. So now we've

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just talked about how great and natural and normal

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period sex is. Yeah. I thought I would ask you

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about... your previous views on it because when

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we first got together you you weren't keen mix

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no and i think that's because i had been trained

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not to do that yeah it wasn't that i thought

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you period nasty getaway i didn't have those

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kind of negative feelings about it personally

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um it's like it's that happens to people with

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that plumbing there's nothing wrong with that

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but The vast majority of my previous partners

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were not people who were receptive to sex when

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they were on their period. And I just kind of

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accepted that. I mean, OK, that's something that

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we don't do. I think some of that was them feeling

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like it was a little bit gross. So it's not something

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that you do. And sometimes it was because they

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have quite bad experiences when they're having

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their period. So they don't really feel like

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having sex. It can feel like, even for me, it

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can feel like the time when I'm not at my sexiest,

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even though I find the period itself quite sexy.

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I can be bloated. I can be a bit greasy and smelly.

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You know, not saying I don't shower, but, you

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know, I get smelly faster. My body hair grows

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faster. So if you're shaving, then you suddenly

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end up being really stubbly, like a little werewolf.

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So I can totally empathize with, for some people,

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they just, even if they don't feel particularly

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grotty in themselves, they feel like they're

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not going to look their best. And that can be

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a big barrier for sex. Yeah. Yeah. And that might

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have been a part of it as well. So I kind of

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got that in my head of, OK, well, that's just

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something you don't do. Yeah. So I'd never really

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done it. I'd never asked anyone to do it because

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I had been, like I say, kind of trained, feels

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like a really strong word having said it, but

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like socialised, I suppose. Yeah. That that was

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just something that you didn't do. So it never

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really came up. So I think when you brought it

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up, when we first got... I think my reaction

00:11:59.139 --> 00:12:01.460
was, well, that's just not something that you

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do. I leave you alone when you're on your period.

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And I guess there was an element of, because

00:12:07.259 --> 00:12:10.019
that will feel bad and gross for you. Yeah. I

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don't want to invade your space at that time.

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Looking at it from your perspective rather than

00:12:14.220 --> 00:12:15.980
looking at it from my perspective of going, ew,

00:12:16.340 --> 00:12:20.000
that's nasty down there kind of thing. It wasn't

00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:23.120
really something that fazed me particularly.

00:12:23.840 --> 00:12:25.340
Yeah. I think there was probably something in

00:12:25.340 --> 00:12:27.460
how I communicated as well, where I'd sort of

00:12:27.460 --> 00:12:29.700
been like, we can do stuff on my period if you

00:12:29.700 --> 00:12:31.440
like. And you're like, no, no, no, thank you.

00:12:31.679 --> 00:12:34.000
And I understood from your reaction that that

00:12:34.000 --> 00:12:35.759
was a no, no, no, thank you, because I don't

00:12:35.759 --> 00:12:38.379
want to do it. That's, that icks me out. And

00:12:38.379 --> 00:12:40.460
you were taking my offer of doing stuff on my

00:12:40.460 --> 00:12:42.259
period as me trying to accommodate you and be

00:12:42.259 --> 00:12:44.750
like. oh i'm not going to be in a sexy mood yeah

00:12:44.750 --> 00:12:46.710
i guess i'll let you kind of thing and so you

00:12:46.710 --> 00:12:49.190
were refusing out of politeness and then i didn't

00:12:49.190 --> 00:12:51.389
want to push your boundaries so i left it alone

00:12:51.389 --> 00:12:54.230
yeah much as we talk about being great at communicating

00:12:54.230 --> 00:12:58.110
we are not perfect i was just gonna say we literally

00:12:58.110 --> 00:13:00.429
not two minutes ago said how important communication

00:13:00.429 --> 00:13:03.590
is and people tell us how good they think our

00:13:03.590 --> 00:13:06.379
communication is and yet here we are But that

00:13:06.379 --> 00:13:09.139
exactly is the point. Like however good at communicating

00:13:09.139 --> 00:13:10.940
you are, however good at communicating you think

00:13:10.940 --> 00:13:13.379
you are, miscommunications happen. And this was

00:13:13.379 --> 00:13:15.899
really early in our relationship and we figured

00:13:15.899 --> 00:13:19.120
it out. Yeah. I think my misgivings about it

00:13:19.120 --> 00:13:21.220
were more out of respect for you than anything

00:13:21.220 --> 00:13:23.200
else because I was just so used to not doing

00:13:23.200 --> 00:13:25.360
that. And I think you're right. I think there

00:13:25.360 --> 00:13:27.220
was that little bit of, no, are they just trying

00:13:27.220 --> 00:13:30.720
to... come across as really open -minded and

00:13:30.720 --> 00:13:32.740
be sexy and go oh yes you can do whatever you

00:13:32.740 --> 00:13:34.580
want anytime kind of thing which is the vibe

00:13:34.580 --> 00:13:38.580
of our relationship yeah anyway but at that time

00:13:38.580 --> 00:13:40.940
we were still getting to know each other so i

00:13:40.940 --> 00:13:42.799
kind of had that thing in my head of is that

00:13:42.799 --> 00:13:44.759
really what they want to do or are they doing

00:13:44.759 --> 00:13:48.019
that kind of acquiescent thing yeah but we got

00:13:48.019 --> 00:13:51.490
through it we definitely did yeah um the thing

00:13:51.490 --> 00:13:53.129
that was interesting to me i mean completely

00:13:53.129 --> 00:13:55.129
understanding that desire to be respectful of

00:13:55.129 --> 00:13:57.129
partners boundaries and comfort and things like

00:13:57.129 --> 00:14:00.750
that but you have a massive blood kink yeah so

00:14:00.750 --> 00:14:03.970
i'm surprised that not that you were so respectful

00:14:03.970 --> 00:14:06.809
but you didn't ever sort of approach it from

00:14:06.809 --> 00:14:08.649
those terms of maybe because you like blood so

00:14:08.649 --> 00:14:11.269
much actively looking for people who would be

00:14:11.269 --> 00:14:14.090
cool with period stuff is a an outlet for that

00:14:14.090 --> 00:14:16.049
yeah i think that's a really good point i've

00:14:16.049 --> 00:14:18.000
not really thought about that Before, I think

00:14:18.000 --> 00:14:21.179
because I put it so firmly in the, no, you leave

00:14:21.179 --> 00:14:24.460
them alone when they're doing that. So I think

00:14:24.460 --> 00:14:26.600
that was an element, that is an element of it.

00:14:26.659 --> 00:14:29.360
But also, like we said before, it's a different

00:14:29.360 --> 00:14:32.419
thing. Getting blood out of you by hitting you

00:14:32.419 --> 00:14:37.039
with stuff is a different activity. And it scratches

00:14:37.039 --> 00:14:40.159
different bits of my kinky brain. So I treated

00:14:40.159 --> 00:14:42.360
them as separate things. And because of all the

00:14:42.360 --> 00:14:43.919
other stuff didn't kind of make that connection.

00:14:44.100 --> 00:14:45.840
Like you say, actually, probably would have been

00:14:45.840 --> 00:14:50.039
a really good idea. for five year ago me to go

00:14:50.039 --> 00:14:52.000
actually yes i need to find people who are into

00:14:52.000 --> 00:14:54.639
this but because i had been so well trained by

00:14:54.639 --> 00:14:56.600
my previous partners to leave them alone when

00:14:56.600 --> 00:14:58.159
they're on their period it didn't enter my head

00:14:58.159 --> 00:15:00.639
that other people might be really really into

00:15:00.639 --> 00:15:03.019
it yeah and like it's like deliberately extracting

00:15:03.019 --> 00:15:06.720
blood from people with spiky impact toys is a

00:15:06.720 --> 00:15:09.419
sadistic thing rather than a degrading thing

00:15:09.419 --> 00:15:12.960
yeah which is the box that i put the stuff we

00:15:12.960 --> 00:15:16.740
do around period sex into yeah Not because period

00:15:16.740 --> 00:15:18.720
sex is inherently degrading, but because we fucking

00:15:18.720 --> 00:15:20.519
love degradation and we found a way to make it

00:15:20.519 --> 00:15:23.000
work. Yeah. Yeah. We found a way to make it degrading.

00:15:23.019 --> 00:15:28.860
Yeah. Which is always fun. Yeah. So what was

00:15:28.860 --> 00:15:31.600
it that opened you up to trying it, Mix? I think

00:15:31.600 --> 00:15:34.440
having the conversation with you, where we miscommunicated

00:15:34.440 --> 00:15:38.179
with each other and then understood each other.

00:15:38.259 --> 00:15:39.679
Do you remember how we started communicating

00:15:39.679 --> 00:15:43.519
about it, Mix? I actually don't. No. It was when

00:15:43.519 --> 00:15:49.039
we watched Salt Burn, Mix. oh was it yes so for

00:15:49.039 --> 00:15:50.919
anyone who hasn't seen it there is a scene in

00:15:50.919 --> 00:15:53.899
salt burn where uh the main character goes down

00:15:53.899 --> 00:15:57.940
on a woman who is very very heavily on her period

00:15:57.940 --> 00:16:01.860
right yes there is yes yes gets it all over his

00:16:01.860 --> 00:16:04.159
face all over his hands she's wearing i think

00:16:04.159 --> 00:16:07.139
like a white nightgown it gets absolutely everywhere

00:16:07.139 --> 00:16:09.440
yeah and we were watching it and i was just sitting

00:16:09.440 --> 00:16:12.580
there like sweating and i was like oh my god

00:16:12.580 --> 00:16:15.789
that's so hot and you sort of like swiveled your

00:16:15.789 --> 00:16:19.129
head like an owl and were like wait you're actually

00:16:19.129 --> 00:16:27.029
into period stuff i was like yeah fair and then

00:16:27.029 --> 00:16:29.070
you understood me and then i understood you and

00:16:29.070 --> 00:16:33.289
i was like okay well let's give it a go because

00:16:33.289 --> 00:16:35.590
i think it's like a lot of things that you say

00:16:35.590 --> 00:16:39.330
to me that's i hadn't remembered that specific

00:16:39.330 --> 00:16:43.440
exchange but That is quite a common experience

00:16:43.440 --> 00:16:45.820
for us, isn't it? Is we will see something or

00:16:45.820 --> 00:16:47.899
hear something or kind of casually drop something

00:16:47.899 --> 00:16:49.700
into conversation and then you will just turn

00:16:49.700 --> 00:16:53.840
into a feral menace about it. Yeah. And I will

00:16:53.840 --> 00:16:57.840
kind of go, well, that's fucked up. Let's do

00:16:57.840 --> 00:17:01.700
it. Or sometimes that's fucked up. I'm not doing

00:17:01.700 --> 00:17:05.000
that to you. Yes, there are some things. It's

00:17:05.000 --> 00:17:08.339
often tooth removal scenes in movies. Yeah. And

00:17:08.339 --> 00:17:09.819
to be fair, I don't think I would want to do

00:17:09.819 --> 00:17:12.319
it. like i've i've experienced having a tooth

00:17:12.319 --> 00:17:14.319
out i've experienced tooth pain and stuff i don't

00:17:14.319 --> 00:17:16.240
actually like it it's one that's very much as

00:17:16.240 --> 00:17:19.240
a fantasy for me but scenes in movies where someone

00:17:19.240 --> 00:17:22.900
has either like a dental scene or like a torture

00:17:22.900 --> 00:17:24.500
scene where someone gets their teeth pulled out

00:17:24.500 --> 00:17:27.259
that really gets me going and every time i'm

00:17:27.259 --> 00:17:28.579
like oh my god that's hot you're like i'm not

00:17:28.579 --> 00:17:31.299
doing it i'm not a dentist i'm not doing it and

00:17:31.299 --> 00:17:34.640
i'm like yes yeah or like the time we watched

00:17:34.640 --> 00:17:39.349
audition yes That was another one where you were

00:17:39.349 --> 00:17:45.170
vibrating next to me going, oh, yes. No. No,

00:17:45.210 --> 00:17:47.490
I am not doing that to you. Nothing that happens

00:17:47.490 --> 00:17:50.589
in this movie can be replicated. No. We're not

00:17:50.589 --> 00:17:54.690
doing it. No, we're not doing it. Very limited

00:17:54.690 --> 00:18:01.589
opportunities to repeat that activity. So I think,

00:18:01.589 --> 00:18:04.730
yeah, so I think what changed was you kind of

00:18:04.730 --> 00:18:07.369
changed my view on it. And realizing that it

00:18:07.369 --> 00:18:10.150
was something that you were actively into rather

00:18:10.150 --> 00:18:12.710
than just accepting as a thing that might happen.

00:18:13.910 --> 00:18:17.390
And then like a lot of things that we did. OK,

00:18:17.529 --> 00:18:18.630
well, let's give that a go. If we don't like

00:18:18.630 --> 00:18:20.650
it, we won't do it again. If we do like it, we'll

00:18:20.650 --> 00:18:22.650
add it to the ever increasing list of things

00:18:22.650 --> 00:18:25.250
that we're into. Yeah. And I was really impressed

00:18:25.250 --> 00:18:26.970
that you, as someone who had never done any kind

00:18:26.970 --> 00:18:29.289
of period stuff before, as soon as you were like,

00:18:29.349 --> 00:18:30.789
yeah, let's give it a go. The first thing you

00:18:30.789 --> 00:18:32.410
did was went down on me while I was on my period.

00:18:32.809 --> 00:18:35.720
Yeah. Which was brave. I wasn't expecting that.

00:18:36.400 --> 00:18:38.779
Well, I guess this is the thing, isn't it? Is

00:18:38.779 --> 00:18:46.119
it brave? Because it's not gross. It's not. It's

00:18:46.119 --> 00:18:49.319
a really weird thing for me. Because I can imagine

00:18:49.319 --> 00:18:51.119
people listening to this podcast and kind of

00:18:51.119 --> 00:18:52.779
me explaining why I've never done it before.

00:18:52.900 --> 00:18:54.759
Sitting there going, bullshit. You just think

00:18:54.759 --> 00:18:56.099
it's gross and you don't want to say it because

00:18:56.099 --> 00:18:57.880
people will criticise you for it. And it's like,

00:18:57.980 --> 00:18:59.759
well, yes, they would. And they would be right

00:18:59.759 --> 00:19:02.799
if that was my perspective. But as a thing, we

00:19:02.799 --> 00:19:05.849
make it gross. We make it. shameful and degrading

00:19:05.849 --> 00:19:07.390
because that's just the kind of people that we

00:19:07.390 --> 00:19:10.029
are but it's not something that i've ever thought

00:19:10.029 --> 00:19:13.069
of in that way it is just a thing that happens

00:19:13.069 --> 00:19:19.430
it's another it's just another substance that

00:19:19.430 --> 00:19:25.109
comes out of that hole that could also be the

00:19:25.109 --> 00:19:30.390
episode you know bodies do weird shit man yeah

00:19:30.390 --> 00:19:32.769
and that's one of them and that's an awesome

00:19:32.769 --> 00:19:34.750
attitude to have but i still think for a beginner

00:19:34.750 --> 00:19:37.569
going down on me on my period was a brave first

00:19:37.569 --> 00:19:40.470
thing to do okay yeah i can i can accept that

00:19:40.470 --> 00:19:43.470
that is probably not where most people would

00:19:43.470 --> 00:19:46.150
start yeah with that because until you actually

00:19:46.150 --> 00:19:47.849
tried it you wouldn't have known whether you

00:19:47.849 --> 00:19:50.710
found it gross and uncomfortable for you no um

00:19:50.710 --> 00:19:52.789
and so most people would probably think the first

00:19:52.789 --> 00:19:54.329
way they would like to experience that substance

00:19:54.329 --> 00:19:56.410
in a sexual context to figure out whether they're

00:19:56.410 --> 00:19:58.910
cool with it or not might be you know on their

00:19:58.910 --> 00:20:02.250
dick three feet away from their face yeah no

00:20:02.250 --> 00:20:08.670
that's fair right up there right there yeah i

00:20:08.670 --> 00:20:11.569
think yeah i yeah i will accept that that's that's

00:20:11.569 --> 00:20:16.940
a fair point i suppose um In for a penny, in

00:20:16.940 --> 00:20:21.119
for a pound, I suppose. If I'm going to do it,

00:20:21.140 --> 00:20:25.039
why not? Yeah. Well, it was awesome. Good. I

00:20:25.039 --> 00:20:27.759
am pleased. It was awesome. I very much enjoyed

00:20:27.759 --> 00:20:29.940
that and very much enjoyed all of the things

00:20:29.940 --> 00:20:31.920
that we've done about it since. Amazing. Well,

00:20:31.960 --> 00:20:35.339
what about you then? You are an avid period sex

00:20:35.339 --> 00:20:39.660
enjoyer. I am. Has that always been the case?

00:20:39.740 --> 00:20:43.470
Or what's your experience with it been? It hasn't

00:20:43.470 --> 00:20:45.309
always been a kink, but it has always been very

00:20:45.309 --> 00:20:47.109
normal for me, Mick. So I actually was on my

00:20:47.109 --> 00:20:49.630
period when I lost my virginity. Right. I don't

00:20:49.630 --> 00:20:52.390
think I'd ever told you that. No. Yeah. Wow.

00:20:53.029 --> 00:20:55.069
It wasn't planned that way, but someone I was

00:20:55.069 --> 00:20:57.130
dating when I was a teenager, we talked about

00:20:57.130 --> 00:20:59.170
wanting to have sex, but obviously as teenagers,

00:20:59.269 --> 00:21:02.279
our time of being left alone. with both living

00:21:02.279 --> 00:21:04.799
with parents, was limited. We were kind of looking

00:21:04.799 --> 00:21:08.480
for our window. And the window opened when I

00:21:08.480 --> 00:21:09.779
was on my period and we weren't going to let

00:21:09.779 --> 00:21:13.019
that stop us. Fair. And it's funny, you know,

00:21:13.039 --> 00:21:14.660
people are always like, there's kind of the myth

00:21:14.660 --> 00:21:16.180
that everyone bleeds the first time they have

00:21:16.180 --> 00:21:17.920
sex. I was definitely not going to bleed the

00:21:17.920 --> 00:21:19.539
first time I had sex because I had been doing

00:21:19.539 --> 00:21:23.099
some stuff on my own. But I got the full bloody

00:21:23.099 --> 00:21:30.960
experience. I had been doing some stuff. I had

00:21:30.960 --> 00:21:37.700
been treating myself roughly. So just out of

00:21:37.700 --> 00:21:41.160
interest then, how did that person respond? Because

00:21:41.160 --> 00:21:45.339
putting myself in the position of a teenage boy,

00:21:45.420 --> 00:21:47.980
I can imagine teenage me being a little bit more

00:21:47.980 --> 00:21:51.299
squicked out by it. Yeah, I mean, this was quite

00:21:51.299 --> 00:21:53.400
a long time ago, so I don't remember if he had

00:21:53.400 --> 00:21:55.700
any kind of reservations about it, but I think...

00:21:56.329 --> 00:21:58.130
On the one hand, yes, teenage boys not generally

00:21:58.130 --> 00:21:59.990
the most chill about periods. On the other hand,

00:21:59.990 --> 00:22:01.970
teenage boys really looking for somewhere to

00:22:01.970 --> 00:22:03.910
put their dick as soon as possible. True. And

00:22:03.910 --> 00:22:07.369
I think that overrode any concerns there. Right.

00:22:08.089 --> 00:22:11.150
Like, definitely didn't seem to put either of

00:22:11.150 --> 00:22:15.410
us off. No. So, positive experience? Yeah. Excellent.

00:22:15.789 --> 00:22:19.359
Very good. And was that the moment that it became

00:22:19.359 --> 00:22:21.259
a preference or a kink for you or did that come

00:22:21.259 --> 00:22:23.599
later? I think that came later, but I think that

00:22:23.599 --> 00:22:25.759
probably set up a positive association for it,

00:22:25.779 --> 00:22:28.539
Mix, where it was that's just a thing that can

00:22:28.539 --> 00:22:31.720
be part of sex. And my first time, like most

00:22:31.720 --> 00:22:33.099
people's first time, it wasn't, you know, all

00:22:33.099 --> 00:22:36.140
fireworks going off and 18 orgasms or anything

00:22:36.140 --> 00:22:38.519
like it was. It was not the best sex I've ever

00:22:38.519 --> 00:22:41.220
had, but it wasn't a bad first experience either.

00:22:41.420 --> 00:22:44.920
I feel like we both had a pretty good time so

00:22:44.920 --> 00:22:47.200
that. That started things off on a good footing

00:22:47.200 --> 00:22:49.859
for me for period stuff. And then, I mean, when

00:22:49.859 --> 00:22:52.500
I was from 19 through to 24, I was a sex worker

00:22:52.500 --> 00:22:56.339
and I used to use methods to like conceal that

00:22:56.339 --> 00:22:58.039
I was on my period, but I had to work when I

00:22:58.039 --> 00:23:00.269
was on my period. You can't. you can't be a self

00:23:00.269 --> 00:23:01.829
-employed person who works three weeks out of

00:23:01.829 --> 00:23:04.930
four that's not how that works no um so presenting

00:23:04.930 --> 00:23:07.569
myself as sexy acting in a sexual way having

00:23:07.569 --> 00:23:09.450
sex while on my period always just felt like

00:23:09.450 --> 00:23:12.390
quite a normal natural thing to me yeah um i

00:23:12.390 --> 00:23:14.430
didn't attach a lot of the baggage to it that

00:23:14.430 --> 00:23:17.710
often people do and you know people who have

00:23:17.710 --> 00:23:20.390
periods themselves if they've never had period

00:23:20.390 --> 00:23:22.329
sex probably blow it up in their heads to be

00:23:22.329 --> 00:23:24.029
a lot more messy than it's actually going to

00:23:24.029 --> 00:23:27.279
be um when i was doing sex work i used to use

00:23:27.279 --> 00:23:29.859
like small insertable sponges which stop your

00:23:29.859 --> 00:23:32.349
period from getting all over the place right

00:23:32.349 --> 00:23:35.130
but also don't feel like you've got something

00:23:35.130 --> 00:23:36.970
in the way like it's rare that people are able

00:23:36.970 --> 00:23:38.430
to tell there's anything there and that's really

00:23:38.430 --> 00:23:40.869
common for full service sex workers right if

00:23:40.869 --> 00:23:42.890
anyone is listening to this who pays for sex

00:23:42.890 --> 00:23:44.829
and is like no one would ever work on their period

00:23:44.829 --> 00:23:47.269
who I go to see I promise you that they do unless

00:23:47.269 --> 00:23:48.849
they're on some kind of contraception that stops

00:23:48.849 --> 00:23:51.289
it because no one's working three weeks out of

00:23:51.289 --> 00:23:53.369
four that's really interesting because I had

00:23:53.369 --> 00:23:55.369
assumed well I suppose I was interested by the

00:23:55.369 --> 00:23:58.420
specific thing you said which was I had ways

00:23:58.420 --> 00:24:00.259
of concealing the fact that I was on my period.

00:24:00.380 --> 00:24:02.839
Yeah. Which suggested you weren't taking hormonal

00:24:02.839 --> 00:24:04.980
contraception because some of those can stop.

00:24:05.779 --> 00:24:08.059
periods yeah sometimes when i was a sex worker

00:24:08.059 --> 00:24:09.640
there were periods of time where i was on hormonal

00:24:09.640 --> 00:24:12.119
contraception but back then doctors were really

00:24:12.119 --> 00:24:13.740
pushing hard that you had to take your placebo

00:24:13.740 --> 00:24:16.099
week or you had to take the break week and actually

00:24:16.099 --> 00:24:17.880
have a period there was a big idea at the time

00:24:17.880 --> 00:24:19.960
that it was unhealthy to stop your period which

00:24:19.960 --> 00:24:22.359
is completely unscientific because the periods

00:24:22.359 --> 00:24:24.680
the periods in inverted commas that you have

00:24:24.680 --> 00:24:27.140
when you're on hormonal contraception are not

00:24:27.140 --> 00:24:29.279
periods it's a withdrawal bleed so there's no

00:24:29.279 --> 00:24:33.079
medical benefit to having them right but When

00:24:33.079 --> 00:24:34.980
I was on hormonal contraception back then, I

00:24:34.980 --> 00:24:38.059
used to still have a monthly bleed. Right. But

00:24:38.059 --> 00:24:40.220
I didn't even know you could get little sponges.

00:24:40.240 --> 00:24:43.480
Yeah. That you could put up there and sop it

00:24:43.480 --> 00:24:45.700
all up. You can get little sponges that are specifically

00:24:45.700 --> 00:24:47.660
designed for it and that are body safe and that

00:24:47.660 --> 00:24:49.359
are recommended and are more comfortable to wear.

00:24:49.539 --> 00:24:52.059
Right. But you can also cut up dish sponges,

00:24:52.059 --> 00:24:54.720
which I will admit was sometimes what I did.

00:24:55.859 --> 00:25:00.220
I was a budget sex worker, okay? I wasn't buying

00:25:00.220 --> 00:25:04.589
the good shit every month. That's fair. i'm just

00:25:04.589 --> 00:25:06.890
i'm just thinking about that well the active

00:25:06.890 --> 00:25:09.829
because they're not soft the dish sponges are

00:25:09.829 --> 00:25:12.569
not you insert them wet or lubed mix yeah yeah

00:25:12.569 --> 00:25:16.269
yeah fascinating yeah oh there you go anyway

00:25:16.269 --> 00:25:18.690
i have distracted us no it's a good diversion

00:25:18.690 --> 00:25:21.170
i think to be fair it's well within the topic

00:25:21.170 --> 00:25:22.970
of period sex because if you want to have sex

00:25:22.970 --> 00:25:24.829
while on your period but you don't like the mess

00:25:24.829 --> 00:25:26.769
that is a good solution you don't have to be

00:25:26.769 --> 00:25:29.779
a pro to do it um like i said i would I would

00:25:29.779 --> 00:25:32.079
encourage people to look up the proper sort of

00:25:32.079 --> 00:25:34.359
equipment for it rather than using dish sponges.

00:25:34.599 --> 00:25:38.660
But it's really easy to do. I would suggest before

00:25:38.660 --> 00:25:41.500
using them, if you haven't either used a cup

00:25:41.500 --> 00:25:44.299
or used a tampon with the string like broken

00:25:44.299 --> 00:25:47.059
off or cut off, like practice doing that kind

00:25:47.059 --> 00:25:48.420
of thing first, because obviously you have to

00:25:48.420 --> 00:25:51.599
fish them out without like a string, which takes

00:25:51.599 --> 00:25:54.220
a little bit of practice. Right. I suppose a

00:25:54.220 --> 00:25:57.180
cup would be an alternative. A cup probably would

00:25:57.180 --> 00:25:59.059
end up with a bigger mess mix because if the

00:25:59.059 --> 00:26:01.859
dick like rams into the cup and knocks it, it's

00:26:01.859 --> 00:26:05.680
going to dump its contents. That's true. Oh,

00:26:05.740 --> 00:26:08.880
the things you have to think about. And like

00:26:08.880 --> 00:26:11.619
sponges, they won't completely do the job if

00:26:11.619 --> 00:26:13.799
you're really heavy. um they're best on light

00:26:13.799 --> 00:26:15.579
days and i used to generally take really heavy

00:26:15.579 --> 00:26:18.759
days off but even if you know if you're not trying

00:26:18.759 --> 00:26:20.180
to actually hide the fact that you're on your

00:26:20.180 --> 00:26:22.460
period from someone um but you don't want a lot

00:26:22.460 --> 00:26:24.400
of mess then using a sponge on a heavy day will

00:26:24.400 --> 00:26:28.079
reduce that by quite a lot yeah that's fair although

00:26:28.079 --> 00:26:29.519
it was something i was already comfortable with

00:26:29.519 --> 00:26:31.720
during sex it wasn't something that i was actively

00:26:31.720 --> 00:26:34.680
kind of planning for or looking forward to it

00:26:34.680 --> 00:26:36.880
had always been a case of like try to conceal

00:26:36.880 --> 00:26:39.579
or at least at least like minimize mess you know

00:26:39.579 --> 00:26:43.250
put a towel down kind of thing um and then with

00:26:43.250 --> 00:26:46.690
kink because i very quickly got very drawn into

00:26:46.690 --> 00:26:49.890
the degradation humiliation aspects of kink and

00:26:49.890 --> 00:26:52.450
the thing that i get the most from kink is stuff

00:26:52.450 --> 00:26:54.210
i've talked about a whole bunch of times on the

00:26:54.210 --> 00:26:56.349
podcast the feeling of being really raw and real

00:26:56.349 --> 00:26:59.890
and authentic and messy um kink is a place to

00:26:59.890 --> 00:27:02.589
have permission to get ugly and cry and snot

00:27:02.589 --> 00:27:04.589
everywhere and throw up and piss myself and all

00:27:04.589 --> 00:27:06.769
of this like periods meshed really well into

00:27:06.769 --> 00:27:09.529
all of that again i'm gonna keep banging on about

00:27:09.529 --> 00:27:12.009
it not because periods are gross but because

00:27:12.009 --> 00:27:15.069
of the freedom of letting yourself feel gross

00:27:15.069 --> 00:27:17.190
in all of those different ways like periods can

00:27:17.190 --> 00:27:21.990
be a yeah a tool to get there um and even like

00:27:21.990 --> 00:27:25.720
sort of beyond beyond gross more about living

00:27:25.720 --> 00:27:27.680
in my body as a human body all of that really

00:27:27.680 --> 00:27:30.460
messy human stuff that happens during play that

00:27:30.460 --> 00:27:32.980
you can kind of mask and put on this really like

00:27:32.980 --> 00:27:35.099
presentable front to the world the rest of the

00:27:35.099 --> 00:27:38.140
time it feels so freeing to let all of that out

00:27:38.140 --> 00:27:42.099
and just be an animal yeah periods fit really

00:27:42.099 --> 00:27:45.339
well with that so it started to link into other

00:27:45.339 --> 00:27:47.619
kinks in my head and activate a bunch of stuff

00:27:47.619 --> 00:27:51.230
yeah That makes sense. Sorry, I started smiling

00:27:51.230 --> 00:27:53.650
at you. The people listening will not have noticed

00:27:53.650 --> 00:27:55.670
this. No, but I did. I was like, what did I say

00:27:55.670 --> 00:27:57.569
that was funny? But I started smiling at you

00:27:57.569 --> 00:27:58.890
and then you looked at me very, very confused.

00:27:58.930 --> 00:28:02.470
I should just explain for your benefit. Thank

00:28:02.470 --> 00:28:05.450
you. That when you said kind of like be like

00:28:05.450 --> 00:28:07.730
an animal, it reminded me of the kinky camping

00:28:07.730 --> 00:28:12.309
last year where you were roaming around with

00:28:12.309 --> 00:28:15.769
no clothes on in the rain shouting. we are animals

00:28:15.769 --> 00:28:21.970
yes yeah i remember i'm an animal yes yes uh

00:28:21.970 --> 00:28:25.450
which was a very nice memory so it made me smile

00:28:25.450 --> 00:28:27.390
that's and that's why i was smiling at you not

00:28:27.390 --> 00:28:31.910
because you would tell anything ridiculous often

00:28:31.910 --> 00:28:33.670
when you smile like that i have just said something

00:28:33.670 --> 00:28:37.950
ridiculous that is true yeah that is true so

00:28:37.950 --> 00:28:40.349
is that what it does for you then does it lean

00:28:40.349 --> 00:28:43.559
into that kind of degrading gross kind of thing

00:28:43.559 --> 00:28:45.299
or is there other other things that it does for

00:28:45.299 --> 00:28:47.720
you it's it's a bunch of things mix yeah i think

00:28:47.720 --> 00:28:49.599
a lot of the time particularly with how we tend

00:28:49.599 --> 00:28:51.759
to play and how we tend to have sex degradation

00:28:51.759 --> 00:28:54.799
is almost always an element of it um or humiliation

00:28:54.799 --> 00:28:57.480
specifically um when it comes to sort of bodily

00:28:57.480 --> 00:29:01.769
fluids that kind of being a bit messy um really

00:29:01.769 --> 00:29:06.549
is very very freeing um i think as well mix it's

00:29:06.549 --> 00:29:08.670
it does link into blood kink for me like i said

00:29:08.670 --> 00:29:10.369
they do sit in separate boxes to an extent but

00:29:10.369 --> 00:29:12.970
with some overlap i visually like blood i like

00:29:12.970 --> 00:29:15.410
seeing my blood on you and sometimes that happens

00:29:15.410 --> 00:29:16.910
because you've hit me with something spiky and

00:29:16.910 --> 00:29:18.730
it's splattered all over your face and sometimes

00:29:18.730 --> 00:29:20.410
that happens because you fucked me on period

00:29:20.410 --> 00:29:22.329
day two and you come out and your cock is just

00:29:22.329 --> 00:29:25.569
completely red yeah and those are those are visually

00:29:25.569 --> 00:29:29.609
pleasant experiences for me experiences yes And

00:29:29.609 --> 00:29:31.289
also sometimes when I hit you with spiky things,

00:29:31.329 --> 00:29:35.369
and then we fuck. Yes. You enjoy that. Very much.

00:29:35.529 --> 00:29:37.609
You particularly seem to enjoy when that happens.

00:29:37.990 --> 00:29:41.289
Very much, yes, Mix. Well, that's all very interesting,

00:29:41.369 --> 00:29:44.009
but should we have a bit of a socio -political

00:29:44.009 --> 00:29:46.789
discourse? Oh, always, Mix. Yeah, as part of

00:29:46.789 --> 00:29:50.220
our kinky podcast. We'll make a change from people

00:29:50.220 --> 00:29:52.079
on TikTok calling me a terrible feminist and

00:29:52.079 --> 00:29:54.500
talk about it on a slightly more elevated level.

00:29:55.839 --> 00:29:57.519
Let's put a pin in that and come back to it because

00:29:57.519 --> 00:29:59.579
I'm fascinated. We've said already there is a

00:29:59.579 --> 00:30:02.480
bit of a stigma around period sex and periods

00:30:02.480 --> 00:30:07.140
generally. None of that is true. They are not

00:30:07.140 --> 00:30:09.880
gross. They are not bad. All of that. All of

00:30:09.880 --> 00:30:13.779
that stuff. But it is interesting to think about

00:30:13.779 --> 00:30:17.450
where that comes from. and whether that really

00:30:17.450 --> 00:30:21.490
is just it's a little bit it feels a little bit

00:30:21.490 --> 00:30:25.549
icky and whether it is actually a little bit

00:30:25.549 --> 00:30:29.049
of misogyny and patriarchy doing what it does

00:30:29.049 --> 00:30:32.289
i think that's definitely a strong element of

00:30:32.289 --> 00:30:33.990
a mix i don't think it's necessarily the only

00:30:33.990 --> 00:30:37.069
one like bodies are a bit gross the things that

00:30:37.069 --> 00:30:39.109
bodies do are a bit gross a lot of people find

00:30:39.109 --> 00:30:43.150
various fluids a little bit icky um i mean i

00:30:43.150 --> 00:30:45.650
know when i first started having sex i didn't

00:30:45.849 --> 00:30:47.769
I didn't want to have anyone come in my mouth

00:30:47.769 --> 00:30:49.730
for years and years and years. I wouldn't entertain

00:30:49.730 --> 00:30:52.289
that because I found that gross. And there's

00:30:52.289 --> 00:30:53.990
a lot less stigma around that. But I think a

00:30:53.990 --> 00:30:58.029
certain amount of bodies is just a thing that

00:30:58.029 --> 00:31:00.549
people sometimes have. But how strong the reactions

00:31:00.549 --> 00:31:03.009
are to periods and how strong that ick reaction

00:31:03.009 --> 00:31:05.990
tends to be and how taboo it is to talk about

00:31:05.990 --> 00:31:08.569
when roughly half the population will experience

00:31:08.569 --> 00:31:11.309
them for at least a period of time in their life.

00:31:11.809 --> 00:31:18.579
Period. Hey. Hey. You know, it's it's disproportionate

00:31:18.579 --> 00:31:20.900
to what it is compared to how people react to

00:31:20.900 --> 00:31:23.119
bodies generally. And I think that is heavily

00:31:23.119 --> 00:31:25.960
driven by misogyny. Something I remember a lot

00:31:25.960 --> 00:31:28.039
when I was I would have probably been in year

00:31:28.039 --> 00:31:34.859
seven. So like age 12 ish, I think we had one

00:31:34.859 --> 00:31:38.150
of the various sort of. sex and puberty education

00:31:38.150 --> 00:31:41.250
related classes that we had and i mean i don't

00:31:41.250 --> 00:31:42.769
know why they did this it was deranged they gave

00:31:42.769 --> 00:31:45.269
everyone a tampon to look at including including

00:31:45.269 --> 00:31:48.410
like the boys yeah um and then we went out onto

00:31:48.410 --> 00:31:49.990
our break and all the boys were unwrapping the

00:31:49.990 --> 00:31:52.410
tampons and throwing them each other as you do

00:31:52.410 --> 00:31:54.950
as you do um and like the way that they were

00:31:54.950 --> 00:31:57.309
reacting to having a completely clean unused

00:31:57.309 --> 00:31:59.930
tampon thrown at them yeah it was as if you were

00:31:59.930 --> 00:32:02.829
just like shit on them it was like the most horrifying

00:32:02.829 --> 00:32:05.789
thing to be touched by a tampon yeah um like

00:32:05.789 --> 00:32:08.369
and these are you know kids these are kids it's

00:32:08.369 --> 00:32:10.470
immaturity is a big element of that and i think

00:32:10.470 --> 00:32:12.170
probably a lot of the girls there was some silly

00:32:12.170 --> 00:32:14.009
giggling and things in these kind of classes

00:32:14.009 --> 00:32:18.309
but yeah that level of repulsion to a unused

00:32:18.309 --> 00:32:21.789
hygiene product really just showed like the attitudes

00:32:21.789 --> 00:32:23.490
that they were being raised with and being taught

00:32:23.490 --> 00:32:25.750
and enforcing each other and going completely

00:32:25.750 --> 00:32:27.509
unchallenged you know the teachers weren't happy

00:32:27.509 --> 00:32:30.329
about the wet because it was raining wet tampons

00:32:30.329 --> 00:32:32.750
all over the schoolyard yeah but they didn't

00:32:32.750 --> 00:32:34.930
challenge the attitude behind it just the actual

00:32:34.930 --> 00:32:36.829
act of throwing them around that was the only

00:32:36.829 --> 00:32:40.289
thing they saw as a problem yeah um so it was

00:32:40.289 --> 00:32:43.509
very much from a young age like this message

00:32:43.509 --> 00:32:45.650
that was being given to all of us as kids was

00:32:46.460 --> 00:32:48.660
the body that people who are assigned female

00:32:48.660 --> 00:32:51.460
at birth have is dirty and disgusting and shameful

00:32:51.460 --> 00:32:53.519
and embarrassing to talk about and you can either

00:32:53.519 --> 00:32:55.359
laugh at that or be repulsed by it and those

00:32:55.359 --> 00:32:57.740
are your options and that attitude sticks with

00:32:57.740 --> 00:32:59.839
people and so of course boys raised like that

00:32:59.839 --> 00:33:01.480
are going to find periods gross and girls raised

00:33:01.480 --> 00:33:03.039
like that anyone raised like that is going to

00:33:03.039 --> 00:33:06.279
think of their periods as gross and dirty and

00:33:06.279 --> 00:33:09.640
something to conceal yeah and it's so taboo to

00:33:09.640 --> 00:33:12.740
talk about like like in the workplace no one

00:33:12.740 --> 00:33:14.259
would think anything of saying i've got a headache

00:33:14.259 --> 00:33:16.329
and i'm struggling to focus a little bit today

00:33:16.329 --> 00:33:18.150
because i've got a headache yeah or even i've

00:33:18.150 --> 00:33:19.869
got a bad stomach you know you wouldn't get too

00:33:19.869 --> 00:33:21.930
graphic about it but say i've got a bad stomach

00:33:21.930 --> 00:33:23.950
i might have to you know dip out this meeting

00:33:23.950 --> 00:33:25.910
to go to the toilet no one would think that was

00:33:25.910 --> 00:33:28.089
inappropriate go into any workplace and say like

00:33:28.089 --> 00:33:30.490
i've got really a bad period pain today it will

00:33:30.490 --> 00:33:32.549
raise eyebrows and depending on how conservative

00:33:32.549 --> 00:33:34.009
your workplace is you might even get in trouble

00:33:34.009 --> 00:33:36.589
for that yeah the attitudes to it are completely

00:33:36.589 --> 00:33:38.529
different i don't think there's that could be

00:33:38.529 --> 00:33:40.680
anything but misogyny to have such a different

00:33:40.680 --> 00:33:42.240
standard for it it was really interesting in

00:33:42.240 --> 00:33:43.900
my workplace a couple of years ago there were

00:33:43.900 --> 00:33:46.779
some sessions being run about raising menopause

00:33:46.779 --> 00:33:49.319
awareness um which i think a lot of workplaces

00:33:49.319 --> 00:33:50.680
have been doing over the last few years it's

00:33:50.680 --> 00:33:52.839
really good to talk about how perimenopause and

00:33:52.839 --> 00:33:55.500
menopause can really affect people at work how

00:33:55.500 --> 00:33:57.180
those symptoms can really affect sort of their

00:33:57.180 --> 00:33:58.779
ability to do their jobs at times they might

00:33:58.779 --> 00:34:01.079
need additional support or some adjustments put

00:34:01.079 --> 00:34:03.339
in place um or just a little bit of understanding

00:34:03.339 --> 00:34:05.740
if they're having a rough time with it and the

00:34:05.740 --> 00:34:08.780
reaction from men that i saw not all of them

00:34:08.780 --> 00:34:10.719
not even most of them i don't think but certain

00:34:10.719 --> 00:34:14.159
men of being quite hostile to even having the

00:34:14.159 --> 00:34:16.139
information shared of when these sessions were

00:34:16.139 --> 00:34:18.920
of like don't want to hear about that why is

00:34:18.920 --> 00:34:21.219
this being talked about and you wouldn't have

00:34:21.219 --> 00:34:23.059
that reaction to any other health condition even

00:34:23.059 --> 00:34:25.860
a condition that's seen as gender specific yeah

00:34:25.860 --> 00:34:27.480
that doesn't seem to be that kind of like oh

00:34:27.480 --> 00:34:30.099
oh why do i have to hear about that no that's

00:34:30.099 --> 00:34:33.440
just fucking weird yeah like this is one of those

00:34:33.440 --> 00:34:35.739
things that i just can't wrap my head around

00:34:35.739 --> 00:34:39.110
with it I understand the argument that people

00:34:39.110 --> 00:34:43.110
who are socialised as men are more likely to

00:34:43.110 --> 00:34:45.550
be a little bit kind of grossed out by periods

00:34:45.550 --> 00:34:47.949
because of the messages that they receive and

00:34:47.949 --> 00:34:49.909
partly because of either the way that they are

00:34:49.909 --> 00:34:51.730
educated or the way that they're not educated

00:34:51.730 --> 00:34:55.769
about periods and therefore might be a little

00:34:55.769 --> 00:34:59.369
bit less informed. But I just cannot wrap my

00:34:59.369 --> 00:35:02.750
head around the concept that you would carry

00:35:02.750 --> 00:35:06.679
that with you as a full -grown ass man. yeah

00:35:06.679 --> 00:35:09.340
it's just bizarre to me there's so many things

00:35:09.340 --> 00:35:11.900
where people who are socialized as men are given

00:35:11.900 --> 00:35:15.519
a pass for things like that or and this is a

00:35:15.519 --> 00:35:17.460
conversation we have sometimes about kind of

00:35:17.460 --> 00:35:20.139
what what constitutes the bare minimum like if

00:35:20.139 --> 00:35:23.179
you have a partner who has a period and you choose

00:35:23.179 --> 00:35:25.099
to either react like a dick when they have a

00:35:25.099 --> 00:35:28.340
period or not at least learn what products they

00:35:28.340 --> 00:35:31.219
use and what where they are in the shop yeah

00:35:31.219 --> 00:35:33.659
stuff like that absolutely fucking nuts to me

00:35:33.900 --> 00:35:36.500
Yeah. I have definitely known quite a lot of

00:35:36.500 --> 00:35:39.239
women whose male partners won't buy tampons in

00:35:39.239 --> 00:35:40.940
the shop for them or pads or anything like that.

00:35:41.239 --> 00:35:43.739
Won't be seen going into the shop to pick them

00:35:43.739 --> 00:35:45.980
up. Yeah. Because they're embarrassed. And it's

00:35:45.980 --> 00:35:47.880
like, why would you be embarrassed if you're

00:35:47.880 --> 00:35:50.260
going to buy tampons? It suggests that there

00:35:50.260 --> 00:35:53.519
is a, in most cases, a woman in your life who

00:35:53.519 --> 00:35:55.380
likes and trusts you enough to ask you to get

00:35:55.380 --> 00:35:57.539
some kind of personal care item for her. Yeah.

00:35:57.579 --> 00:36:00.269
That's not an embarrassing thing. No, no. It's

00:36:00.269 --> 00:36:03.510
not. I get unreasonably mad about stuff like

00:36:03.510 --> 00:36:05.349
that. It's like, what are we doing? What are

00:36:05.349 --> 00:36:08.289
we even doing if that's where we're at as a society?

00:36:08.469 --> 00:36:11.349
Yeah. I just can't wrap my head around it. And

00:36:11.349 --> 00:36:14.409
then that results in anyone who does learn or

00:36:14.409 --> 00:36:16.130
at the very least retains the information they

00:36:16.130 --> 00:36:18.190
are given about what products they use and where

00:36:18.190 --> 00:36:19.769
they are in the shop and being willing to go

00:36:19.769 --> 00:36:22.289
and get them and all of that kind of thing. It's

00:36:22.289 --> 00:36:25.590
treated like it's some special thing. Yeah. And

00:36:25.590 --> 00:36:27.489
I'm like, on the one hand, I recognize that it

00:36:27.489 --> 00:36:29.210
is because that is not people's common experience.

00:36:29.880 --> 00:36:31.559
But actually, we shouldn't be rewarding that.

00:36:32.360 --> 00:36:35.599
Yeah. Actually, that's the standard. That's the

00:36:35.599 --> 00:36:38.760
level. That's the bare minimum. Anyone else who's

00:36:38.760 --> 00:36:45.000
not doing that is shit. You know? Yeah. And we've

00:36:45.000 --> 00:36:47.500
had that conversation about, not about period

00:36:47.500 --> 00:36:50.239
products, but about other aspects of our relationship.

00:36:50.719 --> 00:36:52.500
You've said to me, this is a really good thing

00:36:52.500 --> 00:36:53.900
about you, or this is a really good thing that

00:36:53.900 --> 00:36:56.360
you do, and I really appreciate it. And I will

00:36:56.360 --> 00:37:00.820
sit there genuinely perplexed by it. well yeah

00:37:00.820 --> 00:37:04.519
what the fuck else am i gonna do like that's

00:37:04.519 --> 00:37:08.639
what you do in a relationship i find it really

00:37:08.639 --> 00:37:14.340
hard to give men any grace on stuff like this

00:37:14.340 --> 00:37:17.039
i get that and i think i would come back to the

00:37:17.039 --> 00:37:18.500
thing i always say to you in those situations

00:37:18.500 --> 00:37:20.159
which is just because it should be the bare minimum

00:37:20.650 --> 00:37:23.030
it often isn't it often isn't the standard that

00:37:23.030 --> 00:37:26.329
people are holding themselves to so i i don't

00:37:26.329 --> 00:37:28.530
think anyone should like demand praise and recognition

00:37:28.530 --> 00:37:30.190
for doing things that you're right should be

00:37:30.190 --> 00:37:32.289
standard but i also don't think there's any harm

00:37:32.289 --> 00:37:35.389
in if you feel moved to showing some gratitude

00:37:35.389 --> 00:37:37.190
to someone who is doing something that you maybe

00:37:37.190 --> 00:37:39.849
haven't experienced before i think that's that's

00:37:39.849 --> 00:37:41.769
nice in a relationship to recognize when someone

00:37:41.769 --> 00:37:43.469
is treating you better than you may have experienced

00:37:43.469 --> 00:37:45.730
in the past even if that shouldn't have been

00:37:45.730 --> 00:37:49.110
the case it still is yeah and i've never sort

00:37:49.110 --> 00:37:51.000
of made a big big thing of the fact that you're

00:37:51.000 --> 00:37:53.179
willing to go buy tampons for me because i haven't

00:37:53.179 --> 00:37:55.039
had that experience like my previous partners

00:37:55.039 --> 00:37:58.099
that's as far as i can remember always been something

00:37:58.099 --> 00:37:59.940
people were pretty chill with but i think if

00:37:59.940 --> 00:38:02.900
i'd had a whole string of disappointing relationships

00:38:02.900 --> 00:38:05.099
with people who wouldn't touch a box of tampons

00:38:05.099 --> 00:38:07.079
because they'd feel contaminated by them yeah

00:38:07.079 --> 00:38:08.739
and then you'd be like oh yeah i'll pop to the

00:38:08.739 --> 00:38:10.340
co -op and get you a box of tampons i would have

00:38:10.340 --> 00:38:12.059
been like oh my god that's really cool thank

00:38:12.059 --> 00:38:14.380
you because yeah yeah because that would be different

00:38:14.380 --> 00:38:16.840
to my experience Yeah. I'm still grateful when

00:38:16.840 --> 00:38:18.280
you go and get me a box of tampons. I certainly

00:38:18.280 --> 00:38:20.079
don't want to be traipsing all the way to the

00:38:20.079 --> 00:38:22.380
corner shop if I suddenly come on and I'm cramping.

00:38:23.099 --> 00:38:27.079
No, no. I mean, in our context, and to be fair,

00:38:27.139 --> 00:38:28.920
in previous relationships as well, it would be

00:38:28.920 --> 00:38:30.320
fucking weird because I'm the one who does the

00:38:30.320 --> 00:38:33.460
shopping. Yeah. You know, I go to the supermarket

00:38:33.460 --> 00:38:35.059
and I do the grocery shopping. So, of course,

00:38:35.099 --> 00:38:38.739
I'm going to pass by the feminine hygiene products

00:38:38.739 --> 00:38:41.260
aisle and pick them up when you need them because

00:38:41.260 --> 00:38:46.860
anything else would be ridiculous. Yeah. I think

00:38:46.860 --> 00:38:49.159
I get more concerned about when I buy stuff like

00:38:49.159 --> 00:38:50.980
that is making sure I get the right shampoo and

00:38:50.980 --> 00:38:53.159
conditioner. Yeah, you always double check you're

00:38:53.159 --> 00:38:54.920
buying the right shampoo and conditioner. All

00:38:54.920 --> 00:38:57.340
of that kind of stuff. That stuff is more of

00:38:57.340 --> 00:38:58.840
a challenge for me, not because I don't want

00:38:58.840 --> 00:39:00.719
to buy it, but because I want to make sure I'm

00:39:00.719 --> 00:39:02.260
buying the right thing. Because you're a bald

00:39:02.260 --> 00:39:03.980
baddie and you have limited understanding of

00:39:03.980 --> 00:39:07.360
hair care. Yeah, yeah. You know, I don't really

00:39:07.360 --> 00:39:09.920
need separate shampoo in my current state, you

00:39:09.920 --> 00:39:15.659
know. Yeah. And I think for me, at least, like

00:39:15.659 --> 00:39:17.460
period products are more straightforward. I like

00:39:17.460 --> 00:39:19.960
a non -applicator tampon and I generally need

00:39:19.960 --> 00:39:22.340
some little ones and some big ones through the

00:39:22.340 --> 00:39:25.659
week. And that's it. Where hair care, I have

00:39:25.659 --> 00:39:28.059
brand loyalty and I have a whole routine and

00:39:28.059 --> 00:39:30.820
I have a lot of things I do. And sometimes I

00:39:30.820 --> 00:39:33.460
change that without telling you. And so you need

00:39:33.460 --> 00:39:36.059
to know what I'm currently on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:39:36.219 --> 00:39:38.360
And don't get me wrong. When I go to buy, when

00:39:38.360 --> 00:39:42.599
tampons are on the list, I am very careful. And

00:39:42.599 --> 00:39:44.440
I make sure that I am looking at the right ones.

00:39:44.559 --> 00:39:46.659
So I'm not getting the ones with the tube. Yeah.

00:39:46.960 --> 00:39:48.599
I'm getting the ones that don't have the tube.

00:39:49.059 --> 00:39:52.500
And then I will double check the list to make

00:39:52.500 --> 00:39:55.679
sure that if you've specified the number of drops

00:39:55.679 --> 00:39:59.000
on the box, that I'm picking up the right ones.

00:39:59.059 --> 00:40:01.900
I'm very careful about that because I'm terrified

00:40:01.900 --> 00:40:03.780
of buying the wrong thing and suddenly being

00:40:03.780 --> 00:40:05.699
perceived as one of those people who don't care.

00:40:07.340 --> 00:40:09.920
I probably spend more time than I need to in

00:40:09.920 --> 00:40:11.920
the feminine hygiene products. aisle because

00:40:11.920 --> 00:40:15.460
i am examining the boxes closely yeah to make

00:40:15.460 --> 00:40:17.659
sure i buy the right ones a bit of an aside but

00:40:17.659 --> 00:40:20.539
i hate the the term feminine hygiene even like

00:40:20.539 --> 00:40:23.280
i know you're using it in the sort of like i

00:40:23.280 --> 00:40:25.179
can't believe it's called that way as well but

00:40:25.179 --> 00:40:27.719
like it's not even just because i'm non -binary

00:40:27.719 --> 00:40:29.360
and it's like there's nothing feminine about

00:40:29.360 --> 00:40:32.280
this this is just a thing that bodies do um even

00:40:32.280 --> 00:40:34.940
if everyone who had periods was a woman it's

00:40:34.940 --> 00:40:37.340
like why are we using such a euphemistic term

00:40:37.340 --> 00:40:39.940
for it Yeah. Why do we have to call it feminine

00:40:39.940 --> 00:40:42.360
hygiene? Feminine hygiene to me is like a nice

00:40:42.360 --> 00:40:45.940
like glittery body wash. Yeah. Just call it period

00:40:45.940 --> 00:40:48.960
products. Yeah. Call it menstrual products. Even

00:40:48.960 --> 00:40:50.840
if you must call it menstrual hygiene. But I

00:40:50.840 --> 00:40:53.880
don't love... It is, you know, stopping your

00:40:53.880 --> 00:40:55.599
blood getting all over your pants is a hygiene

00:40:55.599 --> 00:40:57.800
issue. You obviously don't want to be going around

00:40:57.800 --> 00:40:59.260
with blood dripping down your legs. Like that

00:40:59.260 --> 00:41:02.199
would be unhygienic. But... I think because there's

00:41:02.199 --> 00:41:04.360
so much perception of periods as dirty. There's

00:41:04.360 --> 00:41:06.440
so much of the stigma around it is it's dirty.

00:41:06.519 --> 00:41:09.340
It's gross. It stinks. It's awful. Like all these

00:41:09.340 --> 00:41:12.440
ideas. I think getting away from hygiene language

00:41:12.440 --> 00:41:15.119
would would just put a little bit of a dent in

00:41:15.119 --> 00:41:17.019
that, even though it's technically correct. I

00:41:17.019 --> 00:41:19.639
don't love it. Yeah. But yeah, menstrual hygiene

00:41:19.639 --> 00:41:22.280
would would still be better than feminine hygiene.

00:41:22.440 --> 00:41:26.300
It feels like it feels like I said, it's euphemistic

00:41:26.300 --> 00:41:28.400
because they don't want to use the word period.

00:41:28.480 --> 00:41:30.059
They don't want to use the word menstruation.

00:41:30.260 --> 00:41:33.239
Yeah. Can you talk about those perceptions of

00:41:33.239 --> 00:41:35.519
it being dirty and smelly and all of that kind

00:41:35.519 --> 00:41:38.179
of stuff? I think one of the things I was surprised

00:41:38.179 --> 00:41:41.219
by when we started doing period things is that

00:41:41.219 --> 00:41:44.440
actually it's not. Yeah. Especially people who

00:41:44.440 --> 00:41:46.880
don't have periods, I suspect, have a bit of

00:41:46.880 --> 00:41:49.599
a perception that if you are anywhere in the

00:41:49.599 --> 00:41:52.619
region, that it is going to have a stink to it

00:41:52.619 --> 00:41:55.150
and there's going to be loads of blood. Yeah,

00:41:55.230 --> 00:41:57.570
they think it's just like blasting out of us

00:41:57.570 --> 00:42:00.889
like a hose. Yeah, yeah. Open your legs and just

00:42:00.889 --> 00:42:03.210
blast you in the face. It's not quite like that.

00:42:03.530 --> 00:42:06.869
And it's not. That's definitely not been my experience

00:42:06.869 --> 00:42:10.050
with you. Yeah. It's not. I guess it's why I

00:42:10.050 --> 00:42:11.469
was surprised when you said it was brave that

00:42:11.469 --> 00:42:13.269
I went down on you the first time we did anything.

00:42:13.510 --> 00:42:15.789
Which I suppose in hindsight, maybe it was because

00:42:15.789 --> 00:42:19.949
you go into it with a bit of an uninformed expectation,

00:42:20.230 --> 00:42:22.170
I suppose. But it wasn't any of those things.

00:42:22.309 --> 00:42:24.369
Yeah. It wasn't particularly smelly. There wasn't

00:42:24.369 --> 00:42:27.050
loads of it. And even when I put my penis in

00:42:27.050 --> 00:42:29.210
you, at the end, there's a little bit of blood

00:42:29.210 --> 00:42:32.309
on there, but it's not like it's soaked in it.

00:42:33.050 --> 00:42:35.250
And some people are heavier than me, and it varies

00:42:35.250 --> 00:42:38.050
for us depending on where I'm at. Day two tends

00:42:38.050 --> 00:42:40.340
to be... If we want it to be messy, that's the

00:42:40.340 --> 00:42:44.239
day to go for. And I don't have super light periods,

00:42:44.340 --> 00:42:45.920
but I don't have super heavy periods either.

00:42:45.980 --> 00:42:47.500
There's definitely people where mess would be

00:42:47.500 --> 00:42:50.099
more of a consideration. But I would imagine,

00:42:50.199 --> 00:42:51.719
unless you're with someone who's got some pretty

00:42:51.719 --> 00:42:53.860
serious medical stuff going on, it's never going

00:42:53.860 --> 00:42:56.519
to be as messy as you would expect it to be based

00:42:56.519 --> 00:42:59.059
on how people talk about it. No. Because for

00:42:59.059 --> 00:43:01.860
most people, their period for the entire few

00:43:01.860 --> 00:43:04.480
days or a week that they're on, the amount of

00:43:04.480 --> 00:43:06.579
blood you lose could be measured in a few teaspoons.

00:43:06.960 --> 00:43:09.360
It's not. It feels like a lot when you're having

00:43:09.360 --> 00:43:11.480
to soak it up tampon by tampon or pad by pad.

00:43:11.800 --> 00:43:13.960
But it's not actually, you know, if you're bleeding

00:43:13.960 --> 00:43:15.739
into a jar, it would be a lot less than you would

00:43:15.739 --> 00:43:18.320
think. Yeah. So it's not coming out fast. Yeah.

00:43:18.599 --> 00:43:20.099
And I remember being really surprised when you

00:43:20.099 --> 00:43:21.900
told me that. Yeah. That it's measured in teaspoons

00:43:21.900 --> 00:43:28.280
and not cups. Yeah. Because you can get the cups,

00:43:28.360 --> 00:43:30.219
can't you? And again, it's just a simple word

00:43:30.219 --> 00:43:32.739
association. Okay, so if you're putting something

00:43:32.739 --> 00:43:34.840
which is described as a cup inside you, there

00:43:34.840 --> 00:43:37.159
must be quite a bit of it. They are quite little.

00:43:37.880 --> 00:43:39.440
I've never actually seen one, so I don't know.

00:43:39.719 --> 00:43:42.079
No, I've seen them, but I haven't ever used one.

00:43:42.480 --> 00:43:46.400
Right. I've been tampon loyal since I was a teenager.

00:43:46.800 --> 00:43:48.760
Yeah. I just find them really convenient and

00:43:48.760 --> 00:43:50.300
easy, and I know some people really don't get

00:43:50.300 --> 00:43:52.079
on with them, find insertion difficult, find

00:43:52.079 --> 00:43:54.219
removal difficult. I never have. I've always

00:43:54.219 --> 00:43:55.800
found them really easy to use, so I've never

00:43:55.800 --> 00:43:58.070
felt the urge to switch to anything else. yeah

00:43:58.070 --> 00:44:00.809
i think my worry with a cup is similar to when

00:44:00.809 --> 00:44:02.449
we talked about like why i wouldn't recommend

00:44:02.449 --> 00:44:04.269
having sex with a cup in for most people because

00:44:04.269 --> 00:44:06.570
it'll if it tips it goes everywhere the idea

00:44:06.570 --> 00:44:09.110
of doing the emptying of it it's like if you

00:44:09.110 --> 00:44:10.530
fuck that up you're going to be dumping like

00:44:10.530 --> 00:44:13.010
like you say not cups and cups of blood but more

00:44:13.010 --> 00:44:14.969
liquid blood than there would be on a tampon

00:44:14.969 --> 00:44:17.170
yeah like all over your hands all over the bathroom

00:44:17.170 --> 00:44:20.400
floor i worry about fucking that up and i'm probably

00:44:20.400 --> 00:44:22.400
imagining it's harder than it is but like i said

00:44:22.400 --> 00:44:24.059
because tampons work so well for me i've never

00:44:24.059 --> 00:44:26.420
felt the need to try anything else yeah i started

00:44:26.420 --> 00:44:28.079
on pads when i was a really young teenager because

00:44:28.079 --> 00:44:29.639
i got my periods really young they started when

00:44:29.639 --> 00:44:33.940
i was 13 um so i think they they always discourage

00:44:33.940 --> 00:44:35.820
young girls from using tampons because they're

00:44:35.820 --> 00:44:38.219
like oh it'll hurt and it'll be difficult and

00:44:38.219 --> 00:44:39.880
all of this so i started on pads because that's

00:44:39.880 --> 00:44:41.960
what everyone said i should do and then at a

00:44:41.960 --> 00:44:44.139
certain point i was like i don't like sitting

00:44:44.139 --> 00:44:47.099
in this all day yeah don't love that and i think

00:44:47.099 --> 00:44:48.679
that's that's probably where the perception of

00:44:48.679 --> 00:44:50.619
it being smelly comes from is like once the blood's

00:44:50.619 --> 00:44:52.460
out of your body if it then sits for a while

00:44:52.460 --> 00:44:56.179
it's not like a stink it's not like super strong

00:44:56.179 --> 00:44:59.079
generally but you will when you go to change

00:44:59.079 --> 00:45:01.300
a pad it it doesn't smell great because you've

00:45:01.300 --> 00:45:03.159
been sat in it for a while and if you've got

00:45:03.159 --> 00:45:04.659
a bin where you're putting your tampons in your

00:45:04.659 --> 00:45:06.579
pads when you open that after a few days it's

00:45:06.579 --> 00:45:09.420
like oh oh yeah but that's the same as anything

00:45:09.420 --> 00:45:11.280
like once it's out of your body and it's got

00:45:11.280 --> 00:45:13.260
bacteria growing on it and stuff obviously it's

00:45:13.260 --> 00:45:15.650
not going to smell great but Your actual period

00:45:15.650 --> 00:45:18.070
as it's happening is nothing like that. Yeah.

00:45:18.469 --> 00:45:21.829
Yeah. I have suddenly become fascinated by how

00:45:21.829 --> 00:45:25.590
the cups work. And like you say, how you get

00:45:25.590 --> 00:45:26.909
them in, how you get them to stay where they

00:45:26.909 --> 00:45:29.269
need to, and then how you get them out. Like

00:45:29.269 --> 00:45:32.869
that process is suddenly fascinating. I do not

00:45:32.869 --> 00:45:34.510
know enough to tell you, Mix, because I've never

00:45:34.510 --> 00:45:36.829
done it. No, and that's fair. No, I wasn't expecting

00:45:36.829 --> 00:45:39.389
you to answer. I was just... Somebody comment.

00:45:39.809 --> 00:45:43.730
Explain it to me on Spotify comments. So yeah,

00:45:43.789 --> 00:45:48.019
somebody explain. the mechanics of that to me

00:45:48.019 --> 00:45:51.119
but i can imagine it's the same sort of thing

00:45:51.119 --> 00:45:53.659
it's like an inverse female condom i suppose

00:45:53.659 --> 00:45:57.079
yes which again as a complete aside endlessly

00:45:57.079 --> 00:45:59.280
fascinated by the mechanics of those they just

00:45:59.280 --> 00:46:01.800
seem like they would be really difficult i've

00:46:01.800 --> 00:46:04.380
also never used one of those mix so yeah when

00:46:04.380 --> 00:46:07.179
i was a sex worker i had some as an option right

00:46:07.179 --> 00:46:08.960
people had wanted to use those instead of normal

00:46:08.960 --> 00:46:11.019
condoms like i provided them as an option but

00:46:11.019 --> 00:46:14.090
no one ever took me up on it right Did you ever

00:46:14.090 --> 00:46:16.190
have somebody approaching you specifically to

00:46:16.190 --> 00:46:17.730
have sex with you on your period when you were

00:46:17.730 --> 00:46:20.369
a sex worker? No mix. Surprisingly, I did not.

00:46:20.469 --> 00:46:22.670
Right. And it wasn't something I advertised because

00:46:22.670 --> 00:46:25.389
I didn't want to sort of draw attention to the

00:46:25.389 --> 00:46:27.590
fact that sometimes I would be on. But I would

00:46:27.590 --> 00:46:29.769
have 100 % if someone had requested it, I would

00:46:29.769 --> 00:46:31.630
have done it. But no, no one ever did. Is there

00:46:31.630 --> 00:46:34.949
another aspect to the patriarchal misogynistic

00:46:34.949 --> 00:46:40.309
nonsense that there is around periods of, as

00:46:40.309 --> 00:46:43.469
I explained earlier on, my kind of... conditioning

00:46:43.469 --> 00:46:45.829
with partners was that when they're on the period

00:46:45.829 --> 00:46:49.050
you leave them alone yeah and that was a total

00:46:49.050 --> 00:46:54.610
leave them alone do not pester them uh for sex

00:46:54.610 --> 00:46:57.550
while they are on their period um and that isn't

00:46:57.550 --> 00:47:00.949
necessarily always the case for everybody who

00:47:00.949 --> 00:47:04.849
has a period yeah i think there is a very sort

00:47:04.849 --> 00:47:08.630
of persistent cultural attitude that women on

00:47:08.630 --> 00:47:10.690
their periods should make themselves available

00:47:10.690 --> 00:47:13.829
to service male partners with oral or anal sex

00:47:13.829 --> 00:47:15.670
while neglecting their own pleasure which i think

00:47:15.670 --> 00:47:21.030
is is quite nasty and it's sort of its realities

00:47:21.030 --> 00:47:23.469
and its its implications for how women are viewed

00:47:23.469 --> 00:47:26.730
in those kind of relationships yeah i suppose

00:47:26.730 --> 00:47:30.380
just a question about language there um i don't

00:47:30.380 --> 00:47:32.239
think i have consistently got it right but and

00:47:32.239 --> 00:47:33.579
both of us have been trying to talk about people

00:47:33.579 --> 00:47:36.260
who have periods yeah but you were specifically

00:47:36.260 --> 00:47:38.780
talking about women who have periods yeah i think

00:47:38.780 --> 00:47:40.760
this is something that does predominantly affect

00:47:40.760 --> 00:47:42.900
women i think it can obviously it can affect

00:47:42.900 --> 00:47:45.500
trans people who are assigned female at birth

00:47:45.500 --> 00:47:48.000
like before they transition and while they are

00:47:48.000 --> 00:47:50.760
in what are like on to outward appearances heterosexual

00:47:50.760 --> 00:47:54.039
relationships but the attitude is about the availability

00:47:54.039 --> 00:47:56.400
of women's bodies and i think that is something

00:47:56.400 --> 00:47:59.440
that certainly in my experiences and the experiences

00:47:59.440 --> 00:48:01.019
a lot of trans people i've spoken to you can

00:48:01.019 --> 00:48:04.219
kind of transition out of um in the same way

00:48:04.219 --> 00:48:08.300
that trans men can experience misdirected misogyny

00:48:08.300 --> 00:48:11.659
but not misogyny yeah it is it is a specifically

00:48:11.659 --> 00:48:14.139
misogynistic attitude about what women's purpose

00:48:14.139 --> 00:48:16.300
is so i think it's important to recognize that

00:48:16.300 --> 00:48:18.539
it is it is something that disproportionately

00:48:18.539 --> 00:48:21.880
affects women yeah that's fair It can be tricky

00:48:21.880 --> 00:48:23.659
to get right. It's a fine balance because I think

00:48:23.659 --> 00:48:25.500
inclusive language is really important. I think

00:48:25.500 --> 00:48:29.760
particularly around menstrual stuff like menstrual

00:48:29.760 --> 00:48:32.820
products and talking about period symptoms and

00:48:32.820 --> 00:48:34.780
things like that, like trans people can often

00:48:34.780 --> 00:48:37.280
be left out of the equation and it can be really

00:48:37.280 --> 00:48:39.719
unfair. But at the same time, a lot of the really

00:48:39.719 --> 00:48:41.820
negative attitudes toward periods and towards

00:48:41.820 --> 00:48:44.940
people who have periods are motivated by misogyny

00:48:44.940 --> 00:48:48.300
and the way that that hits trans people who have

00:48:48.300 --> 00:48:51.250
periods and the way that that hits women. are

00:48:51.250 --> 00:48:52.969
going to be a little bit different and there

00:48:52.969 --> 00:48:55.769
are elements of being trans that not in any way

00:48:55.769 --> 00:48:57.530
that being trans is is a privileged position

00:48:57.530 --> 00:49:00.250
to be in but where misogyny can sometimes sting

00:49:00.250 --> 00:49:02.150
less because you know it's not really for you

00:49:02.800 --> 00:49:04.840
yeah um there can be a certain amount of like

00:49:04.840 --> 00:49:06.920
mental freedom in that even if the things you're

00:49:06.920 --> 00:49:09.420
experiencing are similar um so i'm not at all

00:49:09.420 --> 00:49:11.099
saying that no trans person will have experienced

00:49:11.099 --> 00:49:12.900
the kind of attitude that i'm talking about but

00:49:12.900 --> 00:49:14.780
it is something that is aimed at women it is

00:49:14.780 --> 00:49:18.199
directed at women it is motivated by devaluing

00:49:18.199 --> 00:49:20.320
of women um which is why i wanted to recognize

00:49:20.320 --> 00:49:23.260
it in that way yeah that makes perfect sense

00:49:23.260 --> 00:49:29.070
i'm glad i asked i think On a very sort of surface

00:49:29.070 --> 00:49:31.489
level, what it can appear to be about is if you're

00:49:31.489 --> 00:49:34.110
in a relationship, like both people generally

00:49:34.110 --> 00:49:35.690
are going to want to have sex pretty regularly.

00:49:35.690 --> 00:49:40.349
They enjoy things. And if one person is not up

00:49:40.349 --> 00:49:42.170
to having sex in the way that they generally

00:49:42.170 --> 00:49:44.230
do and the other person still wants to, and if

00:49:44.230 --> 00:49:46.909
both people are on board with it, finding a workaround

00:49:46.909 --> 00:49:49.550
to the area of the body that they mutually have

00:49:49.550 --> 00:49:52.190
agreed they don't want to use isn't a bad thing.

00:49:52.250 --> 00:49:55.409
Like if you don't enjoy... having vaginal penetration

00:49:55.409 --> 00:49:57.610
when you're on your period your partner doesn't

00:49:57.610 --> 00:49:59.650
like the mess doesn't feel comfortable with it

00:49:59.650 --> 00:50:02.489
whatever and you both mutually agree like okay

00:50:02.489 --> 00:50:04.590
so while i'm on i'm gonna give you loads of blowjobs

00:50:04.590 --> 00:50:05.789
and we're both gonna have a great time with that

00:50:05.789 --> 00:50:09.989
that's hot to us awesome but the attitude that

00:50:09.989 --> 00:50:12.670
that's something that women should just do or

00:50:12.670 --> 00:50:15.329
that anybody should just do to kind of keep a

00:50:15.329 --> 00:50:18.789
man happy yeah it's really toxic like sex isn't

00:50:18.789 --> 00:50:20.710
an entitlement even when within a relationship

00:50:20.710 --> 00:50:22.929
i'm saying that as someone in a you know total

00:50:22.929 --> 00:50:24.929
power exchange free use relationship where for

00:50:24.929 --> 00:50:27.230
you sex is an entitlement yes but that's because

00:50:27.230 --> 00:50:29.670
we've heavily negotiated it because i get off

00:50:29.670 --> 00:50:31.949
on that just as much as you do i like the oh

00:50:31.949 --> 00:50:34.230
god when's it gonna happen yeah knowing vibe

00:50:34.230 --> 00:50:36.570
like that's super hot because it's consensual

00:50:36.570 --> 00:50:38.190
if that's not something people have actually

00:50:39.009 --> 00:50:41.349
asked for in their relationship to be treated

00:50:41.349 --> 00:50:44.329
as a dispenser of sex to be used as a sexual

00:50:44.329 --> 00:50:46.250
object they should never be treated that way

00:50:46.250 --> 00:50:48.769
yeah um and that's very much what it is it's

00:50:48.769 --> 00:50:50.789
very sort of objectifying very much treating

00:50:50.789 --> 00:50:55.090
women as a body for use not as a whole person

00:50:55.090 --> 00:50:57.329
and like i said neglecting their pleasure as

00:50:57.329 --> 00:50:58.809
well like if you're going to do sexual stuff

00:50:58.809 --> 00:51:01.670
while while someone's on their period the default

00:51:01.670 --> 00:51:03.889
should be everyone's going to get off here yeah

00:51:03.889 --> 00:51:07.099
yeah which means that someone has to put on their

00:51:07.099 --> 00:51:08.940
big boy pants and touch the bleeding vagina.

00:51:09.139 --> 00:51:11.639
Yeah, you're right. And some people can get off

00:51:11.639 --> 00:51:14.940
from having anal sex. That is not something that

00:51:14.940 --> 00:51:17.960
never happens, but I'm going to assume it's relatively

00:51:17.960 --> 00:51:21.079
rare. Yeah, yeah. Particularly, you know, if

00:51:21.079 --> 00:51:22.380
someone's having a period, I'm going to assume

00:51:22.380 --> 00:51:25.260
they generally don't have a prostate. And if

00:51:25.260 --> 00:51:26.739
you don't have a prostate, it's very hard to

00:51:26.739 --> 00:51:28.440
come just from anal. It does happen. There are

00:51:28.440 --> 00:51:30.400
a few people it happens for. And if that's the

00:51:30.400 --> 00:51:33.719
case, crack on. But also, just... To add to that,

00:51:33.760 --> 00:51:35.579
if people think that fucking their partner in

00:51:35.579 --> 00:51:36.900
the arse while they're on their period is going

00:51:36.900 --> 00:51:39.960
to avoid mess, I would encourage you to learn

00:51:39.960 --> 00:51:43.260
about period poops. It's not the time. No, no,

00:51:43.320 --> 00:51:46.539
no. And that is one of the warnings that you

00:51:46.539 --> 00:51:51.480
will give me. Yeah. Because of the nature of

00:51:51.480 --> 00:51:53.719
our relationship and the free use element of

00:51:53.719 --> 00:51:55.739
our relationship, we have agreed that you will

00:51:55.739 --> 00:51:59.059
inform me when there are potential issues with

00:51:59.059 --> 00:52:03.239
any of your holes. Yeah. So I can make an informed

00:52:03.239 --> 00:52:05.679
decision about what I do. And generally when

00:52:05.679 --> 00:52:09.039
I'm on my period, I would heavily caution against

00:52:09.039 --> 00:52:12.239
anal. At least spontaneous anal, because it's

00:52:12.239 --> 00:52:16.539
not a great time for me. And it would be a not

00:52:16.539 --> 00:52:19.079
great time for you if you went in there. No.

00:52:19.559 --> 00:52:22.519
But I suppose that's kind of where we've taken

00:52:22.519 --> 00:52:26.099
it a little bit, haven't we? Because a part of

00:52:26.099 --> 00:52:30.019
our dynamic is kind of subverting those misogynistic

00:52:30.019 --> 00:52:32.650
kind of tropes. Yeah. And kind of turning them

00:52:32.650 --> 00:52:35.550
into something which is fun and hot for us. Yeah.

00:52:35.670 --> 00:52:39.150
Not buying into the misogynistic trope as a general

00:52:39.150 --> 00:52:41.849
rule, but kind of turning it on its head and

00:52:41.849 --> 00:52:44.550
kind of subverting that for our own kinky reason.

00:52:44.809 --> 00:52:49.369
Yeah, absolutely. I think having conscious engagement

00:52:49.369 --> 00:52:52.849
with misogynistic ideas and using them in a way

00:52:52.849 --> 00:52:55.789
where two or more people are treated as absolute

00:52:55.789 --> 00:53:00.250
equals with equal needs, equal... desires equal

00:53:00.250 --> 00:53:03.010
rights to be heard and seen and treated the way

00:53:03.010 --> 00:53:05.610
they want to be treated is subversive even if

00:53:05.610 --> 00:53:07.389
what you're doing on a surface level is replicating

00:53:07.389 --> 00:53:10.829
the misogynistic attitudes because when people

00:53:10.829 --> 00:53:13.269
sort of ask like how kink can be feminist or

00:53:13.269 --> 00:53:15.730
how kink in the way that i do kink can be feminist

00:53:15.730 --> 00:53:17.710
because they see me very much as a woman they

00:53:17.710 --> 00:53:19.730
see me as someone who is perceived as female

00:53:19.730 --> 00:53:23.210
regardless of identity um submitting to someone

00:53:23.210 --> 00:53:27.159
who is generally read as a man the the sort of

00:53:27.159 --> 00:53:29.079
idea is that we're just defaulting to socially

00:53:29.079 --> 00:53:32.860
conditioned roles but nothing pisses off conservative

00:53:32.860 --> 00:53:35.139
men more than women getting to cum and getting

00:53:35.139 --> 00:53:38.599
their sexual needs met and being happy and having

00:53:38.599 --> 00:53:42.469
a voice in relationships like yeah even if we

00:53:42.469 --> 00:53:44.170
replicate everything we've talked about this

00:53:44.170 --> 00:53:46.409
before when we we've talked about gender even

00:53:46.409 --> 00:53:48.489
if we replicate every element of a sort of trad

00:53:48.489 --> 00:53:51.590
wife dynamic the fact that we are doing it because

00:53:51.590 --> 00:53:53.789
i get off on it and i've been involved in every

00:53:53.789 --> 00:53:55.570
stage of the negotiation asked for everything

00:53:55.570 --> 00:53:59.309
that happens and have the ability to shape what

00:53:59.309 --> 00:54:01.989
our relationship looks like even that just in

00:54:01.989 --> 00:54:03.769
itself is already subverting the expectations

00:54:03.769 --> 00:54:06.449
of that yeah there is a difference between submission

00:54:06.449 --> 00:54:09.300
and subjugation And it's a really important one.

00:54:10.079 --> 00:54:13.219
So I think when we play with the concept of a

00:54:13.219 --> 00:54:17.380
period being gross or with me being unclean in

00:54:17.380 --> 00:54:19.960
some way when I'm on my period and we lean into

00:54:19.960 --> 00:54:21.659
that and we heighten it and we use it as part

00:54:21.659 --> 00:54:24.559
of humiliation and we do all of this stuff, it's

00:54:24.559 --> 00:54:26.940
got such different connotations to a teenage

00:54:26.940 --> 00:54:28.960
boy chucking a tampon at another teenage boy

00:54:28.960 --> 00:54:31.460
on the playground because we don't believe it

00:54:31.460 --> 00:54:34.920
and because we don't believe it. We are engaging

00:54:34.920 --> 00:54:38.579
in it as equals and we are engaging in it because

00:54:38.579 --> 00:54:40.539
both of us get off on it. But the thing that's

00:54:40.539 --> 00:54:42.360
relevant for this is because I get off on it.

00:54:42.679 --> 00:54:45.760
And so instead of a period being seen as dirty

00:54:45.760 --> 00:54:48.440
and gross and that being something that takes

00:54:48.440 --> 00:54:51.440
away from women or anyone who menstruates ability

00:54:51.440 --> 00:54:53.400
to talk about their own bodies, to experience

00:54:53.400 --> 00:54:55.360
sexual pleasure at any time in their cycle that

00:54:55.360 --> 00:54:57.460
they choose, to have partners that understand

00:54:57.460 --> 00:54:59.239
what's going on with their body and fully support

00:54:59.239 --> 00:55:01.300
it without stigma and judgment and getting the

00:55:01.300 --> 00:55:05.039
ick. because we're engaging in it in a way where

00:55:05.039 --> 00:55:07.579
all of that stuff is cleared out of the way from

00:55:07.579 --> 00:55:09.920
an actual basis of real equality where although

00:55:09.920 --> 00:55:11.840
we don't have equal roles we have equal value

00:55:11.840 --> 00:55:14.280
and input into the relationship we are turning

00:55:14.280 --> 00:55:16.840
a lot of that stuff on its head yeah while also

00:55:16.840 --> 00:55:20.440
replicating it because it's hot yeah which takes

00:55:20.440 --> 00:55:23.199
us right back to the pin that we put in you being

00:55:23.199 --> 00:55:25.980
called a bad feminist yeah um sometimes the teenage

00:55:25.980 --> 00:55:30.079
radfems find me mix oh no and it It is just part

00:55:30.079 --> 00:55:32.500
of life. They're there on the internet. And I

00:55:32.500 --> 00:55:34.320
try not to get mad about it because, although

00:55:34.320 --> 00:55:37.570
I never... I never aligned myself with radical

00:55:37.570 --> 00:55:39.289
feminism because I think it was being talked

00:55:39.289 --> 00:55:40.809
about a little bit less when I was around that

00:55:40.809 --> 00:55:44.389
age. I did very much buy into a lot of ideas

00:55:44.389 --> 00:55:49.110
that kinks were bad and kinks were about misogyny

00:55:49.110 --> 00:55:52.630
and kinks were about people replicating real

00:55:52.630 --> 00:55:55.349
world harms and just perpetuating them further

00:55:55.349 --> 00:55:58.289
and was particularly judgmental and shamey towards

00:55:58.289 --> 00:56:00.329
people that had rape fantasies and engaged in

00:56:00.329 --> 00:56:04.730
CNC and things like that because I wanted to.

00:56:05.579 --> 00:56:09.159
make it unacceptable for anyone to post say or

00:56:09.159 --> 00:56:12.059
do anything that tempted me to do the same because

00:56:12.059 --> 00:56:14.099
i was having those fantasies i was having those

00:56:14.099 --> 00:56:16.900
desires i remember being really angry about people

00:56:16.900 --> 00:56:18.920
who would put rape scenes into movies and tv

00:56:18.920 --> 00:56:21.079
shows because they were turning me on and i was

00:56:21.079 --> 00:56:24.320
trying not to be turned on by that okay um yes

00:56:24.320 --> 00:56:26.360
and i know quite a lot of other kinky people

00:56:26.360 --> 00:56:27.820
who've had those kind of fantasies and desires

00:56:27.820 --> 00:56:30.500
who have behaved in similar ways or had similar

00:56:30.500 --> 00:56:34.210
attitudes so i'm not saying every young woman

00:56:34.210 --> 00:56:36.670
who appears in my comment section telling me

00:56:36.670 --> 00:56:38.130
that i'm a bad person because of the things that

00:56:38.130 --> 00:56:40.070
i do and that i've been brainwashed by patriarchy

00:56:40.070 --> 00:56:41.869
to want the things that i want i'm not saying

00:56:41.869 --> 00:56:44.150
all of them are in that place yeah but i know

00:56:44.150 --> 00:56:46.090
a fair few of them are i know for an absolute

00:56:46.090 --> 00:56:48.449
fact give it 10 years and a lot of those people

00:56:48.449 --> 00:56:50.429
hopefully will have made peace with themselves

00:56:50.429 --> 00:56:52.610
and be a lot happier yeah some of them will be

00:56:52.610 --> 00:56:54.329
still living in shame and that's really sad and

00:56:54.329 --> 00:56:57.230
that's why i do what i do because i am not going

00:56:57.230 --> 00:57:02.079
to engage with turf and swerve arguments I'm

00:57:02.079 --> 00:57:03.699
not going to engage with sex negative feminism

00:57:03.699 --> 00:57:05.500
because I don't think it's productive and a lot

00:57:05.500 --> 00:57:07.159
of the time these attitudes are reinforced by

00:57:07.159 --> 00:57:09.840
these toxic debates but I am going to put the

00:57:09.840 --> 00:57:13.380
information out there and at some point for some

00:57:13.380 --> 00:57:15.159
people it might hit and they might find themselves

00:57:15.159 --> 00:57:19.059
happy and healed the way I am yeah yeah and that's

00:57:19.059 --> 00:57:20.480
what I was thinking it was kind of what I was

00:57:20.480 --> 00:57:21.940
thinking when you were when you were talking

00:57:21.940 --> 00:57:24.760
there was kind of those let's say the teenage

00:57:24.760 --> 00:57:27.400
radfems is like okay come back in 10 years and

00:57:27.400 --> 00:57:31.159
let's talk yeah and just in case i imagine a

00:57:31.159 --> 00:57:34.900
lot of our um listeners are informed but turf

00:57:34.900 --> 00:57:38.610
is trans exclusionary Radical feminism and Swerve

00:57:38.610 --> 00:57:41.030
is sex worker exclusionary radical feminism.

00:57:41.150 --> 00:57:43.309
That's right, Mix. And not all radical feminists

00:57:43.309 --> 00:57:46.050
are exclusive of trans people and all sex workers,

00:57:46.130 --> 00:57:48.670
but a significant majority are. And the same

00:57:48.670 --> 00:57:52.369
sort of gender essentialist arguments and fear

00:57:52.369 --> 00:57:54.849
of sexuality and particularly fear of female

00:57:54.849 --> 00:57:57.289
sexuality and policing of female sexuality is

00:57:57.289 --> 00:57:59.630
consistent throughout radical feminism, which

00:57:59.630 --> 00:58:01.590
is why it's not something that I'm prepared to

00:58:01.590 --> 00:58:04.250
engage with. I think you can be incredibly proudly,

00:58:04.369 --> 00:58:07.940
loudly. angrily feminist without drifting into

00:58:07.940 --> 00:58:11.119
essentially a gender war yeah and that's not

00:58:11.119 --> 00:58:13.980
something i i am not being drafted to the gender

00:58:13.980 --> 00:58:16.480
wars i am just going to continue having great

00:58:16.480 --> 00:58:23.699
sex cool up for that i feel like we have said

00:58:23.699 --> 00:58:26.619
a lot that periods and period sex are not gross

00:58:26.619 --> 00:58:30.000
or dirty or disgusting no they are not but but

00:58:31.079 --> 00:58:32.460
Would you like to tell us a little bit about

00:58:32.460 --> 00:58:35.599
how they can be mixed? How we make them gross

00:58:35.599 --> 00:58:39.699
and dirty and disgusting. Yeah, mix. I think

00:58:39.699 --> 00:58:41.780
there's a few things we do, and it is all in

00:58:41.780 --> 00:58:44.360
that degradation, humiliation kind of space.

00:58:45.780 --> 00:58:48.679
I think one of my favourite things to do is to

00:58:48.679 --> 00:58:52.079
roughly pull the tampon out of you and then shove

00:58:52.079 --> 00:58:54.500
it in your mouth. That is fun. We should do more

00:58:54.500 --> 00:58:57.639
of that. Yes. I think there's been... Maybe a

00:58:57.639 --> 00:59:00.039
couple of times where I have tried to keep your

00:59:00.039 --> 00:59:02.000
mouth shut while doing that so you've got no

00:59:02.000 --> 00:59:05.480
respite from it, or at least hold you in a way

00:59:05.480 --> 00:59:09.039
that you can't do anything about it. Yeah. Although,

00:59:09.099 --> 00:59:12.280
important safety tip, as we learned on one occasion.

00:59:12.920 --> 00:59:14.860
actually is sensible to hold on to the string

00:59:14.860 --> 00:59:18.199
it really is if you're on your back yes yes mix

00:59:18.199 --> 00:59:20.760
i was going to mention that if anyone i imagine

00:59:20.760 --> 00:59:21.880
a lot of people are going to hear that and go

00:59:21.880 --> 00:59:24.039
absolutely the fuck no i'm not doing no thank

00:59:24.039 --> 00:59:26.820
you but for the the small number of people who

00:59:26.820 --> 00:59:28.940
are the same kind of pervert as me who are like

00:59:28.940 --> 00:59:32.059
god that's hot um yeah keep the string out of

00:59:32.059 --> 00:59:35.119
your mouth held between your teeth and for maximum

00:59:35.119 --> 00:59:36.940
safety have your partner hang on to it if you're

00:59:36.940 --> 00:59:38.300
keeping the tampon in there for any period of

00:59:38.300 --> 00:59:41.360
time they are designed to go smoothly and easily

00:59:41.360 --> 00:59:44.380
into quite a small hole which your throat also

00:59:44.380 --> 00:59:49.260
is yes so a very important safety tip but that's

00:59:49.260 --> 00:59:51.739
fun and i really enjoy the process of that kind

00:59:51.739 --> 00:59:53.460
of being really rough with you and kind of pulling

00:59:53.460 --> 00:59:56.079
it pulling it out of you it's not like a gently

00:59:56.079 --> 00:59:58.780
tug the string to get it out i kind of like starting

00:59:58.780 --> 01:00:02.619
a lawnmower dig in there and pull it out And

01:00:02.619 --> 01:00:05.239
then just the look on your face. Yeah. Like when

01:00:05.239 --> 01:00:06.800
it goes in there, because like we keep saying,

01:00:06.820 --> 01:00:08.400
it's not gross, but I can't imagine it tastes

01:00:08.400 --> 01:00:10.480
all that good. No, it doesn't taste great, Mix.

01:00:10.719 --> 01:00:12.659
No. No, I quite like the taste of blood, but

01:00:12.659 --> 01:00:15.000
periods definitely, there's more than just blood

01:00:15.000 --> 01:00:17.039
going on there. Sort of biologically, it's...

01:00:17.550 --> 01:00:19.050
There's mucus and things that it's shedding.

01:00:19.610 --> 01:00:22.769
And just texturally quite unpleasant as well.

01:00:22.909 --> 01:00:26.130
Like wet, dense cotton wool. Because the taste

01:00:26.130 --> 01:00:27.909
actually fades pretty quickly when I'm holding

01:00:27.909 --> 01:00:31.050
a tampon in my mouth. The taste goes really fast.

01:00:31.869 --> 01:00:33.510
I don't know if it's just that I get used to

01:00:33.510 --> 01:00:37.409
it or I've kind of... sucked the flavor you know

01:00:37.409 --> 01:00:39.550
like a chewing gum when it stops tasting minty

01:00:39.550 --> 01:00:43.670
yeah um but texturally it stays horrible and

01:00:43.670 --> 01:00:46.050
i think just the the taboo nature of it because

01:00:46.050 --> 01:00:48.170
yeah because we are all brought up thinking of

01:00:48.170 --> 01:00:50.050
periods is really gross however much you kind

01:00:50.050 --> 01:00:51.929
of deconstruct that there's still going to be

01:00:51.929 --> 01:00:54.230
a bit of like oh get that away from my face um

01:00:54.230 --> 01:00:56.969
which makes it deeply humiliating and unpleasant

01:00:56.969 --> 01:01:00.190
yeah i think the worst part of that for me and

01:01:00.190 --> 01:01:01.730
it really set my teeth on edge when you were

01:01:01.730 --> 01:01:05.320
talking was that biting down on the cotton wool

01:01:05.320 --> 01:01:08.639
yeah or i bite the string not i'm not going to

01:01:08.639 --> 01:01:10.559
be chewing on the cotton wool no avoid it yeah

01:01:10.559 --> 01:01:12.920
like that contact with your with your teeth yeah

01:01:12.920 --> 01:01:15.619
it's literally making my teeth go on edge are

01:01:15.619 --> 01:01:17.300
you someone who's icked out by cotton wool mix

01:01:17.300 --> 01:01:19.639
yeah you you would not want to be in my position

01:01:19.639 --> 01:01:28.099
then no no and it's not even about the taste

01:01:28.099 --> 01:01:31.880
it's not even about that the blood of it is that

01:01:31.880 --> 01:01:36.440
just it's a textural thing yeah that horrible

01:01:36.440 --> 01:01:42.179
horrible um i really enjoy like generally um

01:01:42.179 --> 01:01:45.639
even sort of before we kind of ramped up to doing

01:01:45.639 --> 01:01:48.900
stuff like that um the way that since we started

01:01:48.900 --> 01:01:50.639
doing period stuff the way that you would either

01:01:50.639 --> 01:01:53.119
yank my tampon out or you would order me to go

01:01:53.119 --> 01:01:55.280
take it out like take it out i'm gonna fuck you

01:01:55.280 --> 01:01:57.400
that in itself is just such a small interaction

01:01:57.400 --> 01:02:01.719
yeah but just quite Quite humiliating in itself

01:02:01.719 --> 01:02:03.579
of something that we're so conditioned to think

01:02:03.579 --> 01:02:05.440
of as being like this really private thing and

01:02:05.440 --> 01:02:07.679
keep sort of a mystery from your partner and

01:02:07.679 --> 01:02:10.219
things like that. Yeah. You involving yourself

01:02:10.219 --> 01:02:12.679
in that way of being like, I want you to take

01:02:12.679 --> 01:02:15.300
that out right now. Yeah. Just immediately in

01:02:15.300 --> 01:02:17.019
itself a little bit transgressive in a hot way.

01:02:17.360 --> 01:02:20.360
Yeah. And it is, yeah, it's a really fun sprinkling

01:02:20.360 --> 01:02:22.400
on the kind of the free use sort of thing, isn't

01:02:22.400 --> 01:02:24.750
it? It's a variation on... um something we've

01:02:24.750 --> 01:02:26.329
mentioned before where i will occasionally say

01:02:26.329 --> 01:02:27.949
spread your legs because i need to masturbate

01:02:27.949 --> 01:02:29.929
yeah it's that kind of don't really care about

01:02:29.929 --> 01:02:33.869
you you are just a hole to fuck yeah which we

01:02:33.869 --> 01:02:38.610
very much enjoy very much enjoy um there's a

01:02:38.610 --> 01:02:40.829
little bit of humiliation with it as well although

01:02:40.829 --> 01:02:43.210
i feel like i haven't done loads of humiliating

01:02:43.210 --> 01:02:47.190
you around the the mess of it a little bit though

01:02:47.190 --> 01:02:50.230
mix and you quite often even if it's just like

01:02:50.230 --> 01:02:52.250
you say the sprinkling sometimes at the beginning

01:02:52.250 --> 01:02:55.789
you'll um talk like what you see you you can't

01:02:55.789 --> 01:02:58.510
even i can't remember stuff you say what you

01:02:58.510 --> 01:03:01.110
see you like your hole's a disgusting mess something

01:03:01.110 --> 01:03:04.550
like that yeah yeah yeah true true and then you

01:03:04.550 --> 01:03:06.769
find use for me then then i find a use for you

01:03:06.769 --> 01:03:10.469
yeah yeah or i say that while i'm actively yeah

01:03:10.469 --> 01:03:16.179
finding a use for you Something we haven't done

01:03:16.179 --> 01:03:18.000
for a while, but that I really liked and would

01:03:18.000 --> 01:03:20.079
like more of is where you have fingered me while

01:03:20.079 --> 01:03:21.880
I'm on my period and then slapped me across the

01:03:21.880 --> 01:03:26.340
face. Yes. Yeah. I would like to request more

01:03:26.340 --> 01:03:29.039
of it. Yeah, that's fair. We can do that. Excellent.

01:03:29.179 --> 01:03:30.880
Because I was trying to think the last time I

01:03:30.880 --> 01:03:33.780
used it in that way. I knew that I had face or

01:03:33.780 --> 01:03:36.360
something. Yeah, we have to time that well, because

01:03:36.360 --> 01:03:37.900
like I said, I don't have super heavy periods.

01:03:37.940 --> 01:03:41.579
If we're not... kind of day two maybe early day

01:03:41.579 --> 01:03:44.599
three at the outside if you do that there's not

01:03:44.599 --> 01:03:46.159
really going to be much mess there might be a

01:03:46.159 --> 01:03:48.340
little bit kind of under your nails but it's

01:03:48.340 --> 01:03:50.659
not going to get on me if you do that but if

01:03:50.659 --> 01:03:53.139
i'm reasonably heavy yeah especially if we've

01:03:53.139 --> 01:03:54.840
sort of taken my tampon out and then done some

01:03:54.840 --> 01:03:57.019
other stuff to let it kind of let it kind of

01:03:57.019 --> 01:03:59.679
build up in there yeah um take my tampon out

01:03:59.679 --> 01:04:02.659
make me come and then do then do that stuff like

01:04:02.659 --> 01:04:04.800
they'll generally be a bit more because orgasms

01:04:04.800 --> 01:04:07.960
like speed up the flow a bit yeah um But yeah,

01:04:08.019 --> 01:04:09.800
we have to time it well and we have to sort of

01:04:09.800 --> 01:04:11.699
be specifically aiming for it to be messier.

01:04:11.760 --> 01:04:13.559
For people who have really heavy periods, they

01:04:13.559 --> 01:04:15.500
could probably just do that all week and it'd

01:04:15.500 --> 01:04:17.880
be fantastic. But yeah, I'm not built that way.

01:04:18.019 --> 01:04:20.420
No, because yours are usually four -ish days,

01:04:20.480 --> 01:04:22.820
aren't they? Yeah. One or two days where it's

01:04:22.820 --> 01:04:25.380
heaviest. Yeah. Sometimes they're even like they'll

01:04:25.380 --> 01:04:27.159
sometimes stop after three days apart from some

01:04:27.159 --> 01:04:29.219
very light spotting. Four is typical. Five is

01:04:29.219 --> 01:04:31.820
a long one. Yeah. And it's only really day two

01:04:31.820 --> 01:04:35.320
and sometimes day three that it's anything you

01:04:35.320 --> 01:04:37.719
could consider heavy. yeah and then there's also

01:04:37.719 --> 01:04:40.800
just the simple effect of of fucking you like

01:04:40.800 --> 01:04:43.519
you you you enjoy a good cervix bashing i really

01:04:43.519 --> 01:04:45.300
do mix yeah when you're when you're getting fucked

01:04:45.300 --> 01:04:49.340
um and you have reported to me that it is more

01:04:49.340 --> 01:04:52.320
intense when you are on your period yeah like

01:04:52.320 --> 01:04:55.409
i don't get usually i about one period in six

01:04:55.409 --> 01:04:58.150
i'll get really bad period pain but usually it's

01:04:58.150 --> 01:05:00.929
just very mild cramping but my cervix is very

01:05:00.929 --> 01:05:03.250
tender and i feel like it sits lower i have no

01:05:03.250 --> 01:05:05.389
idea if that's scientifically accurate but it

01:05:05.389 --> 01:05:06.849
always feels like it's easier for you to hit

01:05:06.849 --> 01:05:09.349
when i'm on um and i'm usually a little bit sort

01:05:09.349 --> 01:05:12.610
of bloated and generally sore um and and just

01:05:12.610 --> 01:05:15.329
kind of my pain threshold is lower when i'm on

01:05:15.329 --> 01:05:17.750
my period as well so that intensifies it yeah

01:05:17.750 --> 01:05:20.269
so deep penetration when i'm on my period is

01:05:20.269 --> 01:05:22.980
physically very very uncomfortable but that is

01:05:22.980 --> 01:05:24.960
a thing that i like yes so it's a good time you

01:05:24.960 --> 01:05:29.400
enjoy that yeah very much i suppose that's something

01:05:29.400 --> 01:05:31.599
as well isn't it if we do because you're right

01:05:31.599 --> 01:05:33.139
your pain tolerance is a little bit lower when

01:05:33.139 --> 01:05:34.960
you're on your period so if we do impacty type

01:05:34.960 --> 01:05:37.780
stuff it's slightly different definitely yeah

01:05:37.780 --> 01:05:40.400
always more intense um and you've punched me

01:05:40.400 --> 01:05:41.800
in the stomach when i've been on my period before

01:05:41.800 --> 01:05:46.320
as well which is incredibly mean yes it is yes

01:05:46.320 --> 01:05:50.780
it is in a way that i very much like yes so yeah

01:05:50.780 --> 01:05:53.539
making use of the The sort of pain and discomfort

01:05:53.539 --> 01:05:56.860
of it is how it ties into masochism. Briefly

01:05:56.860 --> 01:05:58.820
touched on that at the start. You know, most

01:05:58.820 --> 01:06:00.880
of the time, if I'm wanting masochistic blood

01:06:00.880 --> 01:06:02.840
play, I'm looking elsewhere for it. You know,

01:06:02.840 --> 01:06:06.460
like the spiky impact, the sharps. But that's

01:06:06.460 --> 01:06:08.539
where the crossover can be for me with period

01:06:08.539 --> 01:06:12.019
play and period sex is, okay, make it really

01:06:12.019 --> 01:06:14.360
uncomfortable. Yeah. Lean into the fact that

01:06:14.360 --> 01:06:16.619
probably what my body is asking for is to be

01:06:16.619 --> 01:06:18.119
tucked up in a blanket with a hot water bottle

01:06:18.119 --> 01:06:20.960
right now. Yeah. And you're going to do the opposite.

01:06:21.139 --> 01:06:23.280
No. I'm not going to do that. Well, I will also

01:06:23.280 --> 01:06:25.059
do that if that's what you need. But in this

01:06:25.059 --> 01:06:27.800
moment, the hot water bottle is not an option.

01:06:30.179 --> 01:06:32.639
I suppose you could have the hot water bottle

01:06:32.639 --> 01:06:36.039
if you really needed it. While you're bashing

01:06:36.039 --> 01:06:38.079
my cervix. Yeah, yeah. Being sort of on top of

01:06:38.079 --> 01:06:44.519
me sloshing around. I think another element of

01:06:44.519 --> 01:06:48.320
how we sort of tie period sex into kink for us

01:06:48.320 --> 01:06:51.389
is... sort of specific to my experience of having

01:06:51.389 --> 01:06:53.269
a little bit of dysphoria related to periods,

01:06:53.469 --> 01:06:57.510
like gender dysphoria. I don't have anywhere

01:06:57.510 --> 01:07:00.449
near as much now, but when I first came out as

01:07:00.449 --> 01:07:02.050
non -binary, and for a period of time before

01:07:02.050 --> 01:07:03.750
I came out as non -binary, it was part of the

01:07:03.750 --> 01:07:06.570
process of figuring it out, I found my periods

01:07:06.570 --> 01:07:09.119
very, very difficult. because of seeing it as

01:07:09.119 --> 01:07:11.460
a female thing, as a part of female biology.

01:07:11.619 --> 01:07:13.500
And that would trigger some dysphoria for me.

01:07:13.679 --> 01:07:16.480
And I had an experience that I think quite a

01:07:16.480 --> 01:07:18.219
lot of trans people have, that is sometimes difficult

01:07:18.219 --> 01:07:21.320
to explain without sounding like transition is

01:07:21.320 --> 01:07:23.739
a bad time or a negative experience for people.

01:07:23.800 --> 01:07:26.230
But sometimes for people... physical dysphoria

01:07:26.230 --> 01:07:28.130
can get worse for a period of time after you

01:07:28.130 --> 01:07:29.550
come out and when you're early in your medical

01:07:29.550 --> 01:07:32.050
transition because it can sometimes draw more

01:07:32.050 --> 01:07:33.670
attention to the things that you've been kind

01:07:33.670 --> 01:07:35.150
of suppressing your feelings about you've been

01:07:35.150 --> 01:07:38.170
sort of squishing the bad feelings down and thinking

01:07:38.170 --> 01:07:39.949
you know i'm just not going to think about that

01:07:39.949 --> 01:07:42.550
and then you finally say right i'm non -binary

01:07:42.550 --> 01:07:46.239
or i'm a trans man or i'm a trans woman um And

01:07:46.239 --> 01:07:48.460
I am going to change how my body looks. And I'm

01:07:48.460 --> 01:07:49.900
going to change the clothes that I wear. And

01:07:49.900 --> 01:07:51.400
maybe I'm going to get hormones. Maybe I'm going

01:07:51.400 --> 01:07:54.139
to get surgery and all of this. And in a few

01:07:54.139 --> 01:07:56.460
years, I will look like the person I've always

01:07:56.460 --> 01:07:59.099
been meant to be. But oh my God, right now I'm

01:07:59.099 --> 01:08:01.579
like this. And it can really raise those feelings

01:08:01.579 --> 01:08:03.599
of distress. And I experienced that really strongly.

01:08:03.719 --> 01:08:05.760
The first year after I came out as non -binary,

01:08:05.900 --> 01:08:08.099
my dysphoria was the worst it has ever been before

01:08:08.099 --> 01:08:10.760
or since. And then that flipped and I've ended

01:08:10.760 --> 01:08:13.730
up happier than I've ever been since. you know

01:08:13.730 --> 01:08:15.829
since figuring that out it was just a period

01:08:15.829 --> 01:08:18.270
of transition so my dysphoria around my periods

01:08:18.270 --> 01:08:20.550
was intense then and i really struggled to cope

01:08:20.550 --> 01:08:23.770
with like talking about it dealing with it during

01:08:23.770 --> 01:08:25.329
that period of time i definitely wouldn't have

01:08:25.329 --> 01:08:27.470
wanted to have sex while i was on my period it

01:08:27.470 --> 01:08:29.130
was the only real time of my life where that

01:08:29.130 --> 01:08:31.430
was an issue but before that periods have been

01:08:31.430 --> 01:08:33.510
distressing they didn't stop me having sex but

01:08:33.510 --> 01:08:37.289
they i did feel gross while i was on i did feel

01:08:37.289 --> 01:08:40.470
uncomfortable with it i did like just find it

01:08:40.810 --> 01:08:44.050
sort of a bit icky to deal with and then have

01:08:44.050 --> 01:08:46.250
started to kind of come out the other side of

01:08:46.250 --> 01:08:49.710
that through addressing my transness and getting

01:08:49.710 --> 01:08:51.949
comfortable with who i was like things sort of

01:08:51.949 --> 01:08:53.850
went back to below that level which was really

01:08:53.850 --> 01:08:57.109
nice but choosing to poke at those buttons through

01:08:57.109 --> 01:09:00.840
play can be really fun You know, one of the things

01:09:00.840 --> 01:09:03.840
that I like is emotional masochism. So things

01:09:03.840 --> 01:09:06.180
that get me into my difficult feelings and make

01:09:06.180 --> 01:09:08.239
me stew in them for a bit is really fun. Yeah.

01:09:08.420 --> 01:09:11.279
So sort of making me hyper aware of my period

01:09:11.279 --> 01:09:13.199
during sex rather than letting it just be there

01:09:13.199 --> 01:09:15.079
in the background kind of pokes at those buttons

01:09:15.079 --> 01:09:16.920
a little bit. But then through that, it's also

01:09:16.920 --> 01:09:18.819
desensitized me to it to the point where now

01:09:18.819 --> 01:09:20.760
probably I am the most comfortable with my period

01:09:20.760 --> 01:09:23.819
I've ever been. Yeah. Is because now we've done

01:09:23.819 --> 01:09:25.800
that so much that the sting has come out of it,

01:09:25.899 --> 01:09:27.560
which I guess is a shame for kink, but good for

01:09:27.560 --> 01:09:31.279
life. Yeah, true. And the good thing with where

01:09:31.279 --> 01:09:34.399
I'm at now with physical gender dysphoria is

01:09:34.399 --> 01:09:36.859
that it is so low level that it really doesn't

01:09:36.859 --> 01:09:38.399
affect me on a day to day basis, which makes

01:09:38.399 --> 01:09:40.619
it a lot safer to play with. Like that wouldn't

01:09:40.619 --> 01:09:42.199
have been an area that I could have played with

01:09:42.199 --> 01:09:44.300
the first year after I came out as non -binary

01:09:44.300 --> 01:09:47.020
because it was at times like life threateningly

01:09:47.020 --> 01:09:48.920
bad, you know, or I wanted to harm myself because

01:09:48.920 --> 01:09:51.340
of it. It was a really difficult time. And probably

01:09:51.340 --> 01:09:53.640
six months to a year before I came out as non

01:09:53.640 --> 01:09:56.180
-binary, similar. I wasn't really aware of what

01:09:56.180 --> 01:09:59.260
it was, but I knew that a lot of... things that

01:09:59.260 --> 01:10:01.739
i did or things that i experienced that i had

01:10:01.739 --> 01:10:05.100
put in the female box in my head were just unbearably

01:10:05.100 --> 01:10:07.720
difficult yeah like i was still doing sex work

01:10:07.720 --> 01:10:09.319
at the time and having to wear like makeup and

01:10:09.319 --> 01:10:11.399
lingerie was highly distressing and i didn't

01:10:11.399 --> 01:10:13.260
fully know why until i figured it out where now

01:10:13.260 --> 01:10:15.449
i'm in makeup every day and lingerie most days

01:10:15.449 --> 01:10:18.449
and i love it but now i know that i'm consciously

01:10:18.449 --> 01:10:20.550
doing those things as a non -binary person instead

01:10:20.550 --> 01:10:22.609
of putting on my woman suit to go and do my woman

01:10:22.609 --> 01:10:24.390
job which is how i was seeing it at the time

01:10:24.390 --> 01:10:28.750
yeah um that was that was really hard and i had

01:10:28.750 --> 01:10:30.189
you know the first couple of years of my transition

01:10:30.189 --> 01:10:32.130
i was very kind of hyper masculine even though

01:10:32.130 --> 01:10:34.409
i already identified as non -binary not as a

01:10:34.409 --> 01:10:36.649
trans man i was pretty much living as a trans

01:10:36.649 --> 01:10:40.529
man because i just needed some space and some

01:10:40.529 --> 01:10:42.949
distance from all of the things i thought of

01:10:42.949 --> 01:10:46.010
as for women yeah to let myself have permission

01:10:46.010 --> 01:10:48.810
to not be that and not have to try to be that

01:10:48.810 --> 01:10:51.109
and then as i got more and more comfortable with

01:10:51.109 --> 01:10:53.829
myself it was like okay but i like wearing pink

01:10:53.829 --> 01:10:57.229
i like glitter i like makeup you know i've had

01:10:57.229 --> 01:10:59.409
long phases since then where i haven't worn makeup

01:10:59.409 --> 01:11:02.510
more out of laziness than anything else um but

01:11:02.920 --> 01:11:05.060
I didn't have to ban myself from it anymore.

01:11:05.140 --> 01:11:06.539
It could be something that I dipped into and

01:11:06.539 --> 01:11:08.500
dipped out of whenever I felt like it. Yeah.

01:11:09.439 --> 01:11:11.500
You know, opened up all of the gender boxes instead

01:11:11.500 --> 01:11:13.579
of putting myself into another one. But I think

01:11:13.579 --> 01:11:16.119
the first couple of years, it was important to

01:11:16.119 --> 01:11:19.420
my sanity to have a different box to hide in

01:11:19.420 --> 01:11:22.260
for a while. So I wasn't feeling trapped by the

01:11:22.260 --> 01:11:23.659
things that I had been raised that I was supposed

01:11:23.659 --> 01:11:26.760
to do. Get as far away from it as possible. Yeah.

01:11:27.079 --> 01:11:29.579
Yeah. No, that makes a lot of sense. I might

01:11:29.579 --> 01:11:34.779
say. gives me ideas although i fear it might

01:11:34.779 --> 01:11:36.960
not be that effective now because you are using

01:11:36.960 --> 01:11:40.140
all of the boxes you are simply too well adjusted

01:11:40.140 --> 01:11:42.600
for that now it is the tricky thing with emotional

01:11:42.600 --> 01:11:45.960
masochism in general is like i am quite bomb

01:11:45.960 --> 01:11:48.979
proof um like there isn't a lot that actually

01:11:48.979 --> 01:11:51.579
phases me i've been through so much and done

01:11:51.579 --> 01:11:53.640
so much healing like i am ridiculously resilient

01:11:53.640 --> 01:11:55.819
and that's fun because it means we don't have

01:11:55.819 --> 01:11:58.060
to worry too much about my safety we still have

01:11:58.060 --> 01:11:59.659
to be cautious of it we still have to be responsible

01:11:59.659 --> 01:12:02.079
but we don't have to be overly concerned about

01:12:02.079 --> 01:12:04.380
accidentally like breaking my brain because it's

01:12:04.380 --> 01:12:07.039
very hard to do yeah but also if i actually want

01:12:07.039 --> 01:12:08.539
to end up like crying until i think i'm going

01:12:08.539 --> 01:12:11.199
to throw up that's not that easy to achieve no

01:12:11.840 --> 01:12:13.859
No, I have to get quite creative, which is a

01:12:13.859 --> 01:12:16.619
fun challenge to have. It is. Yeah. One of the

01:12:16.619 --> 01:12:19.119
things I love about kink is it does. It is a

01:12:19.119 --> 01:12:21.420
creative process. We talked a little bit at the

01:12:21.420 --> 01:12:23.079
start about one of the things that's hot about

01:12:23.079 --> 01:12:24.979
blood players as being an act of destruction.

01:12:25.039 --> 01:12:27.000
But everything we do is very much an act of creation

01:12:27.000 --> 01:12:31.000
as well. Yeah. We are creating a completely bespoke

01:12:31.000 --> 01:12:33.260
relationship. We are creating scenes. We are

01:12:33.260 --> 01:12:35.060
creating different versions of ourselves to inhabit.

01:12:35.180 --> 01:12:39.420
And I find that just keeps my mind so alive all

01:12:39.420 --> 01:12:42.399
the time. It's really fun. Yes, it is. So to

01:12:42.399 --> 01:12:45.500
sum up then, periods are not gross or disgusting

01:12:45.500 --> 01:12:48.859
or nasty. There is a significant section of the

01:12:48.859 --> 01:12:51.100
population who could do better on their attitudes

01:12:51.100 --> 01:12:54.239
towards periods. But there are a lot of fun ways

01:12:54.239 --> 01:12:56.899
that you can make periods feel gross and disgusting

01:12:56.899 --> 01:13:02.560
and nasty. Oh, yes. And also you can have really

01:13:02.560 --> 01:13:04.579
great sex while you're on your period that doesn't

01:13:04.579 --> 01:13:06.920
have to be any of those things. No. Like we've

01:13:06.920 --> 01:13:08.399
talked quite a lot about the stuff that we like.

01:13:08.699 --> 01:13:10.779
Because it's our podcast and we do what we want.

01:13:10.899 --> 01:13:13.600
Yes. But to be fair, there are times where we're

01:13:13.600 --> 01:13:15.859
just both horny. Or you're horny. Or I'm horny.

01:13:15.920 --> 01:13:17.739
And we have sex. Yeah. While I'm on my period.

01:13:17.920 --> 01:13:19.859
And the period just happens to be there. And

01:13:19.859 --> 01:13:21.819
we have a great time. Yes. Throw down a towel

01:13:21.819 --> 01:13:25.680
and go at it. Yeah. Or not. Or not. We don't,

01:13:25.680 --> 01:13:28.560
do we? Not generally no mix. But I think when

01:13:28.560 --> 01:13:30.840
it comes time for our mattress to be collected

01:13:30.840 --> 01:13:33.079
and taken away by the bin men. When we're getting

01:13:33.079 --> 01:13:35.039
our new one. Yeah. We may want to put an old

01:13:35.039 --> 01:13:42.229
sheet on it. So that they don't see. True. Oh,

01:13:42.310 --> 01:13:44.989
God, I hadn't even thought about that. Oh, no.

01:13:45.310 --> 01:13:46.989
Because we're getting a new mattress. We're getting

01:13:46.989 --> 01:13:48.510
a new mattress. That is the exciting news of

01:13:48.510 --> 01:13:52.409
the week. Yeah, yeah. Because I have the spine

01:13:52.409 --> 01:13:54.229
of a 90 -year -old and I need a special mattress

01:13:54.229 --> 01:13:56.770
now. Yes. Although we did just spend a small

01:13:56.770 --> 01:13:59.470
fortune on a mattress. But the same day that

01:13:59.470 --> 01:14:01.729
we bought a really expensive mattress, you spent

01:14:01.729 --> 01:14:05.470
£12 .50 on a weird -looking cushion. which seems

01:14:05.470 --> 01:14:08.369
to have solved your back problem yeah i basically

01:14:08.369 --> 01:14:09.930
got that because i got a bunch of new filler

01:14:09.930 --> 01:14:12.409
in my face and i wasn't supposed to put any pressure

01:14:12.409 --> 01:14:14.229
on my cheeks or my jawline while it was setting

01:14:14.229 --> 01:14:17.010
yeah um so i got one of those like claw shaped

01:14:17.010 --> 01:14:18.949
pillows that sort of clutch your head so you

01:14:18.949 --> 01:14:20.630
can side sleep without your face touching anything

01:14:20.630 --> 01:14:23.229
they're marketed as anti -aging pillows the idea

01:14:23.229 --> 01:14:24.989
is that like you're not smooshing lines into

01:14:24.989 --> 01:14:27.010
your face while you sleep i couldn't give a fuck

01:14:27.010 --> 01:14:28.789
about how old i look but i needed to not smoosh

01:14:28.789 --> 01:14:32.250
my face for filler reasons so i got one um and

01:14:32.250 --> 01:14:34.949
it has Yeah, like got rid of 90 % of my back

01:14:34.949 --> 01:14:36.550
pain. But I think the new mattress will get rid

01:14:36.550 --> 01:14:38.909
of the remaining 10%. And that's worth a thousand

01:14:38.909 --> 01:14:47.149
pounds, maybe. I guess we'll find out. And on

01:14:47.149 --> 01:14:49.369
that note, should we have some tea? Or yes mix.

01:14:49.609 --> 01:15:09.829
Yes. Okay, let's go do that. Bye. Bye. See you

01:15:09.829 --> 01:15:10.369
next time.