WEBVTT 00:00:00.040 --> 00:00:02.279 Hello, hello everyone. Welcome to Speak Your 00:00:02.279 --> 00:00:04.980 Chaos, your new favorite podcast where absolutely 00:00:04.980 --> 00:00:08.839 anyone can submit their chaos to our Instagram 00:00:08.839 --> 00:00:12.060 or to our email found in the description below. 00:00:12.539 --> 00:00:15.660 Speak Your Chaos is all about speaking your truth, 00:00:15.720 --> 00:00:19.980 your chaos, regardless of what it is. Or maybe 00:00:19.980 --> 00:00:22.660 it's not yours. Maybe it's someone's chaos whom 00:00:22.660 --> 00:00:26.120 you know. But once again, welcome to Speak Your 00:00:26.120 --> 00:00:29.690 Chaos and thank you for tuning in. Alrighty, 00:00:29.850 --> 00:00:32.929 let's go ahead and get started. Our first submission 00:00:32.929 --> 00:00:36.710 of the day. I live with my girlfriend, and I've 00:00:36.710 --> 00:00:39.869 always been more of a morning person. We usually 00:00:39.869 --> 00:00:42.729 get up between 8 .30 and 9 .30 in the morning 00:00:42.729 --> 00:00:46.549 on the weekends, but I've started realizing I 00:00:46.549 --> 00:00:49.229 don't have a lot of time to myself or time to 00:00:49.229 --> 00:00:52.450 do individual hobbies, and I've noticed that 00:00:52.450 --> 00:00:54.710 it takes longer for me to get out of bed the 00:00:54.710 --> 00:00:57.420 later I wake up. I thought it would be a good 00:00:57.420 --> 00:01:01.710 idea to get a separate alarm. So I could go off 00:01:01.710 --> 00:01:05.170 between 7 to 7 .30 just to give myself more time 00:01:05.170 --> 00:01:08.969 in the morning to read, play video games, watch 00:01:08.969 --> 00:01:11.730 an episode of TV, go for a run, do whatever it 00:01:11.730 --> 00:01:14.290 is that I need to do. My girlfriend said it's 00:01:14.290 --> 00:01:16.489 not fair because she might not be able to go 00:01:16.489 --> 00:01:19.329 back to sleep. I mentioned that I set an earlier 00:01:19.329 --> 00:01:21.890 alarm for work when I'm in the office and she 00:01:21.890 --> 00:01:24.269 manages to always get herself back to sleep. 00:01:24.390 --> 00:01:27.090 But she said that it's completely different. 00:01:27.409 --> 00:01:30.439 I pointed out it's exactly the same. She said 00:01:30.439 --> 00:01:32.400 we should be getting up at the exact same time, 00:01:32.439 --> 00:01:35.900 but I asked why and she would not answer me. 00:01:36.319 --> 00:01:38.379 She continued saying it's not fair for her to 00:01:38.379 --> 00:01:40.379 have to wake up earlier, but I mentioned again 00:01:40.379 --> 00:01:43.019 she's fine when I have to do it for work, so 00:01:43.019 --> 00:01:44.939 it won't be any different here. She said again 00:01:44.939 --> 00:01:47.920 I should just get up at the same time as her 00:01:47.920 --> 00:01:50.319 and that I shouldn't be setting an early alarm. 00:01:50.719 --> 00:01:54.120 Am I overreacting for setting an earlier alarm? 00:01:54.680 --> 00:01:57.349 Alright, so here's my two cents on this. There 00:01:57.349 --> 00:02:00.010 is a slight difference between the work mode 00:02:00.010 --> 00:02:02.790 and going out mode or playing video games or 00:02:02.790 --> 00:02:05.329 being up or whatever the case, right? When she 00:02:05.329 --> 00:02:07.250 knows that you're at work and she knows that 00:02:07.250 --> 00:02:09.449 you're not there, that your presence isn't there, 00:02:09.509 --> 00:02:11.569 it's probably a lot easier for her to go back 00:02:11.569 --> 00:02:16.030 to sleep. But when you're there, she knows you're 00:02:16.030 --> 00:02:18.610 there. She knows that physically you are there. 00:02:19.009 --> 00:02:21.889 She just wants to be with you. She wants to hang 00:02:21.889 --> 00:02:23.889 out with you. She just wants to be around you. 00:02:24.509 --> 00:02:26.750 i'm assuming is the reason why she struggles 00:02:26.750 --> 00:02:29.669 to go back to sleep not only that but it sounds 00:02:29.669 --> 00:02:32.229 like maybe she wants to partake in some of these 00:02:32.229 --> 00:02:35.189 um things with you maybe she wants to play video 00:02:35.189 --> 00:02:37.909 games with you or go on that run or do something 00:02:37.909 --> 00:02:40.530 together in the morning but i understand where 00:02:40.530 --> 00:02:43.030 she's coming from you know it can absolutely 00:02:43.030 --> 00:02:45.689 be hard to go back to sleep knowing that your 00:02:45.689 --> 00:02:49.039 person is there because you're there right so 00:02:49.039 --> 00:02:51.840 all they want to do is spend that time with you 00:02:51.840 --> 00:02:53.939 i don't think you're overreacting i don't think 00:02:53.939 --> 00:02:56.740 she's overreacting but i do think it is a little 00:02:56.740 --> 00:03:01.360 unfair for her to not you know allow you to set 00:03:01.360 --> 00:03:03.780 an earlier alarm if you want to get up earlier 00:03:03.780 --> 00:03:06.400 and you want to do what you want to do and get 00:03:06.400 --> 00:03:08.699 your morning started i feel like you absolutely 00:03:08.699 --> 00:03:11.860 have every single right to be able to do that 00:03:11.860 --> 00:03:15.659 moving on My boyfriend and I have been together 00:03:15.659 --> 00:03:18.039 for three and a half years. I feel like we are 00:03:18.039 --> 00:03:21.780 at the age and the point in our relationship 00:03:21.780 --> 00:03:23.659 where there is no reason we should not be living 00:03:23.659 --> 00:03:26.039 together. We've been together for a long time, 00:03:26.099 --> 00:03:28.840 and I feel like we're too grown for games. I'm 00:03:28.840 --> 00:03:32.939 26, he's 30. We have discussed multiple times 00:03:32.939 --> 00:03:36.979 of us getting a place together once both of our 00:03:36.979 --> 00:03:39.060 leases end. I apologize, I cannot read today. 00:03:39.819 --> 00:03:41.639 but I can't get him to fully commit and he's 00:03:41.639 --> 00:03:43.699 constantly going back and forth on the topic. 00:03:43.780 --> 00:03:46.479 Is it wrong of me to want to break up over that? 00:03:46.560 --> 00:03:49.939 I have never lived with one of my significant 00:03:49.939 --> 00:03:52.539 others before and I understand people move at 00:03:52.539 --> 00:03:54.699 different paces, but I feel like him not wanting 00:03:54.699 --> 00:03:56.379 to live together means he doesn't want to commit 00:03:56.379 --> 00:03:58.599 to me or see our relationship progress to the 00:03:58.599 --> 00:04:00.939 next level. At this point, I just feel like I'm 00:04:00.939 --> 00:04:02.800 wasting my time. Am I supposed to wait around 00:04:02.800 --> 00:04:05.509 for him? Is it selfish? of me to feel this way 00:04:05.509 --> 00:04:08.430 i really am stuck i really want to be considerate 00:04:08.430 --> 00:04:10.949 of his feelings but at the same time i also need 00:04:10.949 --> 00:04:13.009 to do what's best for me all right here's my 00:04:13.009 --> 00:04:15.210 opinion three and a half years right three and 00:04:15.210 --> 00:04:19.430 a half years you've been together but he will 00:04:19.430 --> 00:04:22.990 not commit to living together there has to be 00:04:22.990 --> 00:04:25.930 there's a reason why right there's an underlying 00:04:25.930 --> 00:04:28.509 reason why and you need to discover what that 00:04:28.509 --> 00:04:32.180 is what is the reason what is happening What 00:04:32.180 --> 00:04:35.240 is going on that he's not wanting to live together? 00:04:35.399 --> 00:04:37.779 Is it an insecurity? Is it maybe something that 00:04:37.779 --> 00:04:40.199 he does that he doesn't know if you're prepared 00:04:40.199 --> 00:04:42.579 for might turn you off? Is it something that 00:04:42.579 --> 00:04:45.300 maybe you do that he doesn't like? Have you slept 00:04:45.300 --> 00:04:47.480 over at each other's houses for a few nights 00:04:47.480 --> 00:04:49.980 and maybe he picked up on something or you picked 00:04:49.980 --> 00:04:52.160 up on something or maybe a comment was mentioned 00:04:52.160 --> 00:04:56.160 about something? So there has to be an underlying 00:04:56.160 --> 00:04:59.480 reason. I would get to that reason. Try to figure 00:04:59.480 --> 00:05:02.139 out exactly what's going on. Try to figure out 00:05:02.139 --> 00:05:05.860 exactly what it is that's turning him off from 00:05:05.860 --> 00:05:10.339 the idea of you two moving in together, right? 00:05:10.439 --> 00:05:12.259 It could be nothing. It could be absolutely nothing. 00:05:12.579 --> 00:05:15.040 Maybe he's just not ready. Maybe he's just an 00:05:15.040 --> 00:05:17.879 extremely slow burner. But I will say, you are 00:05:17.879 --> 00:05:20.079 26. You've been together three and a half years, 00:05:20.240 --> 00:05:23.180 right? So roughly, since you were 22, 23 -ish, 00:05:23.220 --> 00:05:26.769 you've been together. you know pretty much your 00:05:26.769 --> 00:05:29.410 your young adulthood you've been together um 00:05:29.410 --> 00:05:35.050 i will say that i would give it another few months 00:05:35.050 --> 00:05:37.430 in my opinion because it has been so long you 00:05:37.430 --> 00:05:39.490 don't just want to throw it away i would give 00:05:39.490 --> 00:05:41.889 it another few months try to figure out what's 00:05:41.889 --> 00:05:44.350 going on try to figure out the real reason maybe 00:05:44.350 --> 00:05:47.790 he's lived with someone in the past and he doesn't 00:05:47.790 --> 00:05:50.839 want to commit to that again because of what 00:05:50.839 --> 00:05:53.000 happened last time right try to figure out what's 00:05:53.000 --> 00:05:55.639 going on if you really can't figure it out or 00:05:55.639 --> 00:05:58.860 if you he really won't commit to moving in together 00:05:58.860 --> 00:06:01.720 i do agree that you should probably end it just 00:06:01.720 --> 00:06:03.680 because if he won't commit to something like 00:06:03.680 --> 00:06:05.519 moving in together then there's a lot of things 00:06:05.519 --> 00:06:07.779 in the future that he's not going to want to 00:06:07.779 --> 00:06:11.279 commit to so in my opinion give it another few 00:06:11.279 --> 00:06:15.000 months and then if anything just call it off 00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:18.949 all right now i have a fairly long one here so 00:06:18.949 --> 00:06:23.670 uh bear with me my boyfriend 36 and i 28 we only 00:06:23.670 --> 00:06:26.230 see each other on the weekends on saturday i 00:06:26.230 --> 00:06:29.750 packed myself and left using the last train of 00:06:29.750 --> 00:06:33.589 the night to get to him We went for dinner and 00:06:33.589 --> 00:06:36.009 as soon as we got home, he noticed that he left 00:06:36.009 --> 00:06:37.949 an expensive new smartwatch he bought before 00:06:37.949 --> 00:06:40.430 at the restaurant. He immediately began to lose 00:06:40.430 --> 00:06:42.829 his absolute mind. I'm used to him being angry 00:06:42.829 --> 00:06:44.709 over small things, but I've never seen anything 00:06:44.709 --> 00:06:47.470 at this scale. He started blaming me, pointing 00:06:47.470 --> 00:06:50.329 the finger at me, saying that it's my fault that 00:06:50.329 --> 00:06:52.550 he left his watch there and I'm used to that. 00:06:52.649 --> 00:06:55.329 He always blames me for everything. He said I 00:06:55.329 --> 00:06:58.089 distracted him with my blabbering and I wasn't 00:06:58.089 --> 00:07:01.420 attentive enough and whatever. And that's why 00:07:01.420 --> 00:07:05.720 he forgot the watch. Okay, first of all, why 00:07:05.720 --> 00:07:07.379 the fuck did he take off the watch to begin with? 00:07:07.600 --> 00:07:09.759 He began screaming and throwing stuff and slamming 00:07:09.759 --> 00:07:11.920 doors. And finally, he punched a brick wall a 00:07:11.920 --> 00:07:15.100 few times to the point where his hand and knuckles 00:07:15.100 --> 00:07:17.879 started severely bleeding. After that, he decided 00:07:17.879 --> 00:07:21.620 to go back to the restaurant. And he expected 00:07:21.620 --> 00:07:24.639 me to come with him. I declined. I told him I'm 00:07:24.639 --> 00:07:27.779 going home. And that's what I did. I went to 00:07:27.779 --> 00:07:30.389 the train station and I went back home. On my 00:07:30.389 --> 00:07:32.069 way there, he texted me that he thought he broke 00:07:32.069 --> 00:07:34.269 his hand, which made me feel bad, and so I called 00:07:34.269 --> 00:07:36.410 him. I told him if he sees the issue with his 00:07:36.410 --> 00:07:38.990 behavior, I will come back. He didn't. He thought 00:07:38.990 --> 00:07:41.850 his tantrum was completely justified. So I took 00:07:41.850 --> 00:07:43.910 the last train. I told him if he sees what's 00:07:43.910 --> 00:07:46.589 wrong with his behavior, losing it over a fucking 00:07:46.589 --> 00:07:49.029 watch, I will be there for him and support him. 00:07:49.129 --> 00:07:51.629 I haven't heard from him in two days. What's 00:07:51.629 --> 00:07:54.189 killing me... Is that he told me on the phone 00:07:54.189 --> 00:07:57.250 that he feels like I left him completely alone. 00:07:57.370 --> 00:08:00.470 He feels alone now because of me. And yes, I 00:08:00.470 --> 00:08:02.529 did leave him alone. But I wanted to show him 00:08:02.529 --> 00:08:04.389 that this kind of behavior makes you lonely. 00:08:04.689 --> 00:08:07.149 I grew up in an abusive household. I swore to 00:08:07.149 --> 00:08:09.209 myself to never end up with a partner of anger 00:08:09.209 --> 00:08:11.430 issues. My boyfriend told me he would never hurt 00:08:11.430 --> 00:08:13.730 me. But that level of aggression he showed me 00:08:13.730 --> 00:08:17.970 over something small like that. i miss him and 00:08:17.970 --> 00:08:19.730 i want to be there for him and i want to help 00:08:19.730 --> 00:08:21.629 him first i thought i was definitely in the right 00:08:21.629 --> 00:08:23.170 because i'm not saying of someone who's throwing 00:08:23.170 --> 00:08:25.290 things but then i read that apparently a lot 00:08:25.290 --> 00:08:26.990 of people are doing that and punching walls and 00:08:26.990 --> 00:08:29.410 whatnot maybe i'm too sensitive i don't know 00:08:29.410 --> 00:08:31.769 if i'm overreacting because of trauma i also 00:08:31.769 --> 00:08:33.690 read that these people normally stop after they 00:08:33.690 --> 00:08:36.090 hurt themselves the first time which he apparently 00:08:36.090 --> 00:08:38.549 did i don't know what to do should i reach out 00:08:38.549 --> 00:08:41.509 to him or what should i do girl run fucking run 00:08:41.509 --> 00:08:46.070 listen you are 28 he is 36 he is old enough to 00:08:46.070 --> 00:08:50.250 know right from wrong you need to get the fuck 00:08:50.250 --> 00:08:53.509 out right now i understand trauma i've been through 00:08:53.509 --> 00:08:57.470 trauma i understand fully understand trauma here's 00:08:57.470 --> 00:09:00.529 the thing though right because of the fact that 00:09:00.529 --> 00:09:02.370 you grew up with it because of the fact that 00:09:02.370 --> 00:09:04.649 you're so used to it because of the fact that 00:09:04.649 --> 00:09:07.169 you grew up at some point thinking that that 00:09:07.169 --> 00:09:11.980 was okay behavior That's what you're unfortunately 00:09:11.980 --> 00:09:14.840 attracted to now. That's what you gravitate towards. 00:09:15.279 --> 00:09:17.820 You need to get the fuck out of that relationship. 00:09:18.019 --> 00:09:21.480 What he's doing is not okay. The way he's reacting 00:09:21.480 --> 00:09:26.379 over a watch, not okay. Because tomorrow it's 00:09:26.379 --> 00:09:27.980 going to be something bigger. The next day it's 00:09:27.980 --> 00:09:29.480 going to be something bigger. That brick wall 00:09:29.480 --> 00:09:32.659 is going to end up being your face. You need 00:09:32.659 --> 00:09:36.679 to get the fuck out. You need to stay away. If 00:09:36.679 --> 00:09:39.100 you're using a train to get to each other, there's 00:09:39.100 --> 00:09:41.960 enough of a distance where you're okay to start 00:09:41.960 --> 00:09:45.820 over. I do not think you're being too sensitive. 00:09:46.360 --> 00:09:48.960 I think you need to get the fuck out. I think 00:09:48.960 --> 00:09:51.139 you need to protect yourself, save yourself. 00:09:51.440 --> 00:09:57.259 I think that right now, you know, he's not hurting 00:09:57.259 --> 00:10:02.080 you physically, but emotionally, mentally, he 00:10:02.080 --> 00:10:04.879 is hurting you. And what are you going to do 00:10:04.879 --> 00:10:06.620 in the future if you two have kids and they fuck 00:10:06.620 --> 00:10:08.659 with his watch or they fuck with his console 00:10:08.659 --> 00:10:12.580 or his computer or his car or something? What 00:10:12.580 --> 00:10:15.039 is he going to do? So what are you going to do, 00:10:15.039 --> 00:10:18.120 right? What are you going to do when next time 00:10:18.120 --> 00:10:21.120 it's your children that you have together? What 00:10:21.120 --> 00:10:23.539 are you going to do when next time it's something 00:10:23.539 --> 00:10:25.279 else, it's something worse, it's something that 00:10:25.279 --> 00:10:27.980 matters to him a little bit more? I would cut 00:10:27.980 --> 00:10:30.740 your losses, to be completely honest. All right, 00:10:30.820 --> 00:10:34.460 moving on to the next one. I was a junior bridesmaid 00:10:34.460 --> 00:10:36.779 at my cousin's wedding last month. Most of the 00:10:36.779 --> 00:10:39.159 side of the family is white, and while we keep 00:10:39.159 --> 00:10:41.379 things polite, I've never felt truly part of 00:10:41.379 --> 00:10:44.679 the group. On the big day, there's this tradition 00:10:44.679 --> 00:10:47.000 where the bridesmaid helped the brides put on 00:10:47.000 --> 00:10:50.210 the family necklace. A pretty important moment. 00:10:50.269 --> 00:10:52.169 When it was my turn the bride's mom suddenly 00:10:52.169 --> 00:10:54.490 stepped in saying actually we want to keep this 00:10:54.490 --> 00:10:57.149 as family only moment. Keep in mind we're cousins. 00:10:57.750 --> 00:11:00.230 No further explanation and I noticed a couple 00:11:00.230 --> 00:11:02.169 of people glanced at me almost like waiting to 00:11:02.169 --> 00:11:05.350 see if I would get upset but I didn't. Now there 00:11:05.350 --> 00:11:08.049 were a few things that were off. My dress was 00:11:08.049 --> 00:11:10.929 a cheaper fabric. The color was slightly different 00:11:10.929 --> 00:11:14.649 almost like I was an afterthought. One of the 00:11:14.649 --> 00:11:17.879 bridesmaid bridesmaids told me they probably 00:11:17.879 --> 00:11:20.379 just saved the best for the real bridesmaids 00:11:20.379 --> 00:11:23.940 and then she started laughing later i overheard 00:11:23.940 --> 00:11:26.159 a comment from one of the friends can't blame 00:11:26.159 --> 00:11:28.179 them for wanting to keep things pure followed 00:11:28.179 --> 00:11:31.179 by a chuckle another bridesmaid whispered guess 00:11:31.179 --> 00:11:33.980 some traditions aren't meant for everyone i tried 00:11:33.980 --> 00:11:36.080 to shrug it off but it felt like being reminded 00:11:36.080 --> 00:11:38.360 i wasn't really welcome like i was a guest in 00:11:38.360 --> 00:11:41.519 someone else's world when i told my mom she said 00:11:41.519 --> 00:11:44.039 sometimes people don't realize how much their 00:11:44.039 --> 00:11:46.899 words or actions can hurt even if they think 00:11:46.899 --> 00:11:49.279 they're just joking i get that but it's those 00:11:49.279 --> 00:11:51.799 things i don't want to call my family racist 00:11:51.799 --> 00:11:55.159 and if it was just a thoughtless or ignorant 00:11:55.159 --> 00:11:57.720 thought but i can't stop feeling excluded and 00:11:57.720 --> 00:12:01.519 small am i overreacting for getting upset absolutely 00:12:01.519 --> 00:12:03.620 not your family's fucking racist call it what 00:12:03.620 --> 00:12:05.340 it fucking is their family's racist their fucking 00:12:05.340 --> 00:12:09.929 friends are racist here's my thing right it's 00:12:09.929 --> 00:12:13.289 finally your turn you are the only african -american 00:12:13.289 --> 00:12:16.049 there from what you've said right or at least 00:12:16.049 --> 00:12:20.490 at least in the the bridesmaids right your turn 00:12:20.490 --> 00:12:24.710 for the necklace all of a sudden it's not okay 00:12:24.710 --> 00:12:28.330 no absolutely not fuck your family fuck their 00:12:28.330 --> 00:12:30.169 friends can't blame them for wanting to keep 00:12:30.169 --> 00:12:32.769 things pure no fuck that lady too whoever the 00:12:32.769 --> 00:12:36.080 fuck said that fuck her too All right. My friend 00:12:36.080 --> 00:12:38.620 has oral herpes but never told me and has asked 00:12:38.620 --> 00:12:41.019 me to share, try my drinks in the past. I let 00:12:41.019 --> 00:12:43.220 her not knowing. Now I'm annoyed and a little 00:12:43.220 --> 00:12:46.340 paranoid. I know it's pretty unlikely I'll contract 00:12:46.340 --> 00:12:49.240 it this way, but it's not impossible. I don't 00:12:49.240 --> 00:12:51.879 think she had active herpes when she asked to 00:12:51.879 --> 00:12:53.960 share things, but I don't remember. It's possible 00:12:53.960 --> 00:12:55.799 she did, and I just didn't notice it before. 00:12:55.840 --> 00:12:57.960 I'm irritated that someone who knows she has 00:12:57.960 --> 00:13:00.580 oral herpes her entire life, she's had it since 00:13:00.580 --> 00:13:03.429 childhood, would ask to share drinks. with people 00:13:03.429 --> 00:13:05.730 knowing this if i had known she had it i wouldn't 00:13:05.730 --> 00:13:07.750 let her take steps for my drink or share them 00:13:07.750 --> 00:13:10.049 i'm irritated because i thought people had enough 00:13:10.049 --> 00:13:14.070 common sense to not to not ask to share drinks 00:13:14.070 --> 00:13:16.629 if they know they have herpes or at least tell 00:13:16.629 --> 00:13:18.950 you so you can make an informed choice about 00:13:18.950 --> 00:13:21.549 whether you want to take that risk lesson learned 00:13:21.549 --> 00:13:23.470 i would never allow anyone to take a sip from 00:13:23.470 --> 00:13:25.769 my drink or share a drink again but i'm feeling 00:13:25.769 --> 00:13:27.789 very annoyed and slightly paranoid about this 00:13:27.789 --> 00:13:30.990 so i think you are justified right i mean i get 00:13:30.990 --> 00:13:34.009 it if someone that i know has herpes and they 00:13:34.009 --> 00:13:36.330 wanted to share my drink and they never informed 00:13:36.330 --> 00:13:39.009 me that they had herpes and then i found out 00:13:39.009 --> 00:13:42.090 later i would be like yo wait a fucking minute 00:13:42.090 --> 00:13:44.929 especially me like i have kids i can't fucking 00:13:44.929 --> 00:13:48.129 be risking that shit not only that but you don't 00:13:48.129 --> 00:13:51.289 want your life or your persona or whatever you 00:13:51.289 --> 00:13:54.549 want to get affected or changed just because 00:13:54.549 --> 00:13:58.129 of someone else's choices so i feel like in my 00:13:58.129 --> 00:14:01.250 personal opinion you are absolutely fucking justified 00:14:02.339 --> 00:14:04.460 All right, on to the next. I traveled out of 00:14:04.460 --> 00:14:07.000 state to attend a week -long company event. On 00:14:07.000 --> 00:14:08.799 the first day, we're standing up to make our 00:14:08.799 --> 00:14:11.840 introduction. The colleague who had a few coughing 00:14:11.840 --> 00:14:14.759 fits announces during her intro that she just 00:14:14.759 --> 00:14:17.740 recovered from pneumonia. Sure enough, by day 00:14:17.740 --> 00:14:20.679 three, I am sick with cold, chills, body aches, 00:14:20.679 --> 00:14:22.700 headaches, sore throat, watery eyes. Another 00:14:22.700 --> 00:14:25.889 colleague gets a runny nose, sneezing fits. My 00:14:25.889 --> 00:14:28.990 VP notices my and the other colleague's sickness 00:14:28.990 --> 00:14:32.149 and graciously excuses us from the rest of the 00:14:32.149 --> 00:14:34.690 event. We spent the rest of the weekend in our 00:14:34.690 --> 00:14:37.389 hotel room. I still can't fly home because now 00:14:37.389 --> 00:14:39.490 I'm hacking up a lung and can't expose a plane 00:14:39.490 --> 00:14:42.129 full of people to this. I'm mad because I think 00:14:42.129 --> 00:14:44.779 she could have stayed home. Even if she was almost 00:14:44.779 --> 00:14:46.899 fully recovered, I'm mad because she was able 00:14:46.899 --> 00:14:49.379 to stay until the final day and I had to miss 00:14:49.379 --> 00:14:51.899 out on the most important parts of the meeting. 00:14:52.299 --> 00:14:55.200 Having incurred the expense of medications, door 00:14:55.200 --> 00:14:58.679 dashing for deliveries, and losing weekends with 00:14:58.679 --> 00:15:01.879 my family. Am I justified for feeling this way? 00:15:01.919 --> 00:15:06.039 Absolutely. absolutely now i'm not gonna say 00:15:06.039 --> 00:15:08.440 that you can fully blame your colleague because 00:15:08.440 --> 00:15:11.720 you are at a company event there's dozens maybe 00:15:11.720 --> 00:15:14.659 hundreds of people there if she just recovered 00:15:14.659 --> 00:15:17.159 from pneumonia then there's a chance she's no 00:15:17.159 --> 00:15:20.700 longer contagious you know i wouldn't fully fully 00:15:20.700 --> 00:15:26.090 blame her But I will absolutely say that it could 00:15:26.090 --> 00:15:29.169 partially be her fault. So I fully understand 00:15:29.169 --> 00:15:33.289 why you are upset, and I do feel like it is justified. 00:15:34.350 --> 00:15:37.490 I, 20 female, made the stupid choice to get engaged 00:15:37.490 --> 00:15:40.429 to my now ex -fiancee, 19 male, at a fairly young 00:15:40.429 --> 00:15:43.210 age. We were dating since I was 17, he was 16, 00:15:43.289 --> 00:15:45.370 we got engaged when I was 19, and he was 18. 00:15:45.769 --> 00:15:48.860 We moved very fast, I'm aware of that. We cut 00:15:48.860 --> 00:15:51.460 off the engagement and broke up November of 2024. 00:15:51.820 --> 00:15:54.019 We remained friends. Recently, we started talking 00:15:54.019 --> 00:15:55.860 about our relationship again and I was thrilled. 00:15:56.120 --> 00:15:58.360 Then he told me the entire time him and I were 00:15:58.360 --> 00:16:01.350 talking, he had already had a girlfriend. I was 00:16:01.350 --> 00:16:03.409 devastated and I got mad to the point where I 00:16:03.409 --> 00:16:05.210 stopped talking to him and I almost blocked him. 00:16:05.490 --> 00:16:07.669 I ended up messaging the so -called girlfriend. 00:16:07.750 --> 00:16:09.909 She told me that they were not dating and never 00:16:09.909 --> 00:16:12.549 dated. He barely even talked to her. So I confronted 00:16:12.549 --> 00:16:15.870 him and he said he did it to rage bait me and 00:16:15.870 --> 00:16:18.409 to make me jealous. We ended up having a big 00:16:18.409 --> 00:16:21.649 argument and now I have him blocked. maybe he's 00:16:21.649 --> 00:16:24.110 just immature but i'm not sure if i overreacted 00:16:24.110 --> 00:16:26.470 no he's immature as fuck listen you saw the red 00:16:26.470 --> 00:16:29.110 flags once you cut off the engagement once you 00:16:29.110 --> 00:16:32.250 realize that you move too quick clearly very 00:16:32.250 --> 00:16:35.750 clearly he's very immature fuck that move on 00:16:35.750 --> 00:16:41.710 on to the next all righty let's see i've talked 00:16:41.710 --> 00:16:43.610 to this girl for about a month and a half we've 00:16:43.610 --> 00:16:46.830 been on five dates we started to get to the place 00:16:46.830 --> 00:16:50.690 of introducing each other's family here's what 00:16:50.690 --> 00:16:53.870 she texted me after our date today also i just 00:16:53.870 --> 00:16:56.149 wanted to say i don't mind calling on next saturday 00:16:56.149 --> 00:16:58.850 if you want me to but i can't do that all the 00:16:58.850 --> 00:17:00.850 time also you're welcome to come to my party 00:17:00.850 --> 00:17:03.269 the following weekend i just don't want you to 00:17:03.269 --> 00:17:06.950 feel obligated obligated I replied to it, well, 00:17:07.089 --> 00:17:09.150 that's really nice of you to say. I wouldn't 00:17:09.150 --> 00:17:11.109 want you to miss work, but next Saturday I can 00:17:11.109 --> 00:17:12.869 definitely make sure you're home on time for 00:17:12.869 --> 00:17:15.529 work while we also have our time together. I'm 00:17:15.529 --> 00:17:17.190 more than happy to come support you at your grad 00:17:17.190 --> 00:17:19.490 party, but we can talk more about it over the 00:17:19.490 --> 00:17:23.390 weekend. For context, she's having her college 00:17:23.390 --> 00:17:25.210 grad party in two weeks. Her parents suggested 00:17:25.210 --> 00:17:27.589 me coming to it. I would definitely be down. 00:17:28.319 --> 00:17:29.960 But I haven't met her parents yet and I would 00:17:29.960 --> 00:17:32.039 like to do it prior to the grad party. I need 00:17:32.039 --> 00:17:34.359 a perspective from another person. When she said 00:17:34.359 --> 00:17:36.099 she can call out of work but I can't do it all 00:17:36.099 --> 00:17:37.720 the time, was that her way of saying she wants 00:17:37.720 --> 00:17:40.220 to take the day off to spend with me? I tried 00:17:40.220 --> 00:17:42.019 to be polite about it and I would never ask her 00:17:42.019 --> 00:17:47.549 to take time off for me. Alright. So two things. 00:17:47.609 --> 00:17:49.769 Yes, she absolutely wants to spend time with 00:17:49.769 --> 00:17:51.750 you. She's just making you aware that she's not 00:17:51.750 --> 00:17:54.509 going to be able to always do it, but she definitely 00:17:54.509 --> 00:17:56.730 wants to do it, right? She definitely wants to 00:17:56.730 --> 00:17:58.730 spend that quality time with you. Just again, 00:17:58.849 --> 00:18:01.690 be aware. It's not going to be an every week 00:18:01.690 --> 00:18:03.950 thing, but she wants that time with you. She's 00:18:03.950 --> 00:18:05.990 inviting you to her grad party. Although her 00:18:05.990 --> 00:18:07.990 parents are going to be there, that is a big 00:18:07.990 --> 00:18:10.730 deal. She clearly is somewhat serious about you 00:18:10.730 --> 00:18:14.410 and definitely likes you. And I do get you wanting 00:18:14.410 --> 00:18:16.569 to meet the parents prior. I'm the same way. 00:18:16.589 --> 00:18:19.569 Before I meet your family all together, I would 00:18:19.569 --> 00:18:23.150 want to meet them separately just to get a feel 00:18:23.150 --> 00:18:25.490 about how things are going to be, not be thrown 00:18:25.490 --> 00:18:27.309 to the wolves. So I understand your perspective. 00:18:27.910 --> 00:18:30.150 I think her head's in a good place. Your head's 00:18:30.150 --> 00:18:32.029 in a good place. I would talk about it and just 00:18:32.029 --> 00:18:35.190 find a middle ground that you are both absolutely 00:18:35.190 --> 00:18:38.339 comfortable with. All righty, y 'all. Well, that'll 00:18:38.339 --> 00:18:40.599 wrap it up for today's episode. That was definitely 00:18:40.599 --> 00:18:42.799 an eventful one. Thank you for being here. Thank 00:18:42.799 --> 00:18:45.259 you for tuning in. Speaker Chaos is everywhere 00:18:45.259 --> 00:18:47.720 you currently listen to your podcast. We never 00:18:47.720 --> 00:18:50.220 truly know what submissions will be sent in. 00:18:50.359 --> 00:18:53.559 It could be anything from love. to exes, sometimes 00:18:53.559 --> 00:18:56.880 even an affair that's going on. At times, it 00:18:56.880 --> 00:19:00.180 could be your very strange roommate, something 00:19:00.180 --> 00:19:02.720 happening with your best friend, with your mother. 00:19:02.980 --> 00:19:05.859 We're never really sure. And there are times 00:19:05.859 --> 00:19:08.099 where we get submissions that are so questionable 00:19:08.099 --> 00:19:10.579 that we're honestly not sure if we should speak 00:19:10.579 --> 00:19:14.299 on it. But we normally do anyway. Again, you 00:19:14.299 --> 00:19:16.420 never truly know. So feel free to join us next 00:19:16.420 --> 00:19:17.900 week and find out what's to come.