WEBVTT 00:00:00.140 --> 00:00:02.379 Hey guys and girls, welcome to Speak Your Chaos. 00:00:02.640 --> 00:00:05.879 Speak Your Chaos is a podcast all about submitting 00:00:05.879 --> 00:00:09.740 your truth completely 100 % anonymously. Regardless 00:00:09.740 --> 00:00:13.140 of what it is, you can go and hit us up at speakyourchaos 00:00:13.140 --> 00:00:17.420 at gmail .com. contact us on Instagram, hit us 00:00:17.420 --> 00:00:20.640 up on YouTube, also on TikTok, and you can go 00:00:20.640 --> 00:00:22.460 ahead and submit pretty much anything you'd like. 00:00:22.579 --> 00:00:25.899 We do at times go over it prior to listening 00:00:25.899 --> 00:00:28.820 to it or reading it out loud. That way we can 00:00:28.820 --> 00:00:31.100 make sure that it doesn't have anything completely 00:00:31.100 --> 00:00:35.320 illegal just for your safety and ours. Again, 00:00:35.399 --> 00:00:38.020 my name is Carlos. I am the host of Speaker Chaos. 00:00:38.299 --> 00:00:41.060 This week we will have Santos, whom we've had 00:00:41.060 --> 00:00:44.409 last week, joining us. for this recording. Alright 00:00:44.409 --> 00:00:46.869 guys, so our first submission of the day is going 00:00:46.869 --> 00:00:51.009 to be my boyfriend, 25 male, and I, 23 female, 00:00:51.189 --> 00:00:54.130 have been together for about a year. We've always 00:00:54.130 --> 00:00:56.270 had pretty good communication, or so I thought. 00:00:56.490 --> 00:00:59.350 Recently, I found out that he's been regularly 00:00:59.350 --> 00:01:02.189 getting drinks after work with a female coworker, 00:01:02.229 --> 00:01:04.489 just the two of them, and never mentioned it 00:01:04.489 --> 00:01:07.349 to me. When I asked why he never told me, he 00:01:07.349 --> 00:01:09.349 said it never came up, and that he didn't think 00:01:09.349 --> 00:01:11.170 it was a big deal since they're just friends. 00:01:11.590 --> 00:01:14.659 What bothers me, is that he tells me about every 00:01:14.659 --> 00:01:17.340 other after work hangout with his guy friends 00:01:17.340 --> 00:01:19.959 he swears there's nothing going on between them 00:01:19.959 --> 00:01:22.859 but now i've noticed he leaves out details when 00:01:22.859 --> 00:01:25.640 she's involved last week he told me he was grabbing 00:01:25.640 --> 00:01:27.859 a quick drink with some co -workers but conveniently 00:01:27.859 --> 00:01:31.079 didn't mention that she was the only one who 00:01:31.079 --> 00:01:33.700 showed up when i confronted him about this pattern 00:01:33.700 --> 00:01:35.700 he got defensive said i was being controlling 00:01:35.700 --> 00:01:39.000 and that i was being paranoid he claims he only 00:01:39.000 --> 00:01:41.879 omits details because he knows i'll overreact 00:01:42.430 --> 00:01:44.290 But I feel like if it was truly innocent, he 00:01:44.290 --> 00:01:47.150 wouldn't feel the need to hide it. Am I overreacting 00:01:47.150 --> 00:01:49.069 for being upset about this? Part of me thinks 00:01:49.069 --> 00:01:51.090 I might be overreacting, since he technically 00:01:51.090 --> 00:01:53.489 hasn't done anything wrong. But another part 00:01:53.489 --> 00:01:57.049 feels like the secrecy is a red flag. What do 00:01:57.049 --> 00:01:59.310 you think, Santos? I mean, it definitely is a 00:01:59.310 --> 00:02:03.530 little sus. Like, bro's taking this chick out 00:02:03.530 --> 00:02:07.489 after work, and now all of a sudden, like, yeah, 00:02:07.629 --> 00:02:10.740 now he's talking about it, but not really. given 00:02:10.740 --> 00:02:14.379 details about it but also too like he never mentioned 00:02:14.379 --> 00:02:17.419 it before so like why are you trying to you know 00:02:17.419 --> 00:02:20.319 hide hide this other you know chick that you're 00:02:20.319 --> 00:02:23.379 seeing after work you know whether it's you know 00:02:23.379 --> 00:02:25.699 just friends or not like that just like you're 00:02:25.699 --> 00:02:27.800 making it weird for no reason kind of thing if 00:02:27.800 --> 00:02:29.580 it if nothing's going on you know what i mean 00:02:29.580 --> 00:02:34.860 yeah my thing is that why the lie why say oh 00:02:34.860 --> 00:02:37.639 yeah you know me and Some co -workers are going 00:02:37.639 --> 00:02:39.879 out, and then she's the only one that shows up. 00:02:39.939 --> 00:02:41.900 I get that he said because she's overreacting, 00:02:41.939 --> 00:02:45.099 but I feel like this is the reason that he's 00:02:45.099 --> 00:02:47.360 overreacting, because she's, or he's obviously 00:02:47.360 --> 00:02:50.699 hiding things, so she kind of has that right 00:02:50.699 --> 00:02:56.439 to overreact if it's a lie. And it's, I do find 00:02:56.439 --> 00:02:58.939 it weird that it's just him and a female. They 00:02:58.939 --> 00:03:02.060 go out for drinks, and it's pretty often, it 00:03:02.060 --> 00:03:03.659 sounds like they're low -key going on a date. 00:03:03.699 --> 00:03:06.039 Yeah, and then it's like, I want to know, like, 00:03:06.080 --> 00:03:08.460 are you taking your girl out for drinks? Like, 00:03:08.500 --> 00:03:10.819 what's going on? Like, are you, like, looking 00:03:10.819 --> 00:03:12.539 for something in this other girl that you're 00:03:12.539 --> 00:03:14.199 not getting with your girl kind of thing? You 00:03:14.199 --> 00:03:18.539 know what I mean? Right. Is it, like, a physical 00:03:18.539 --> 00:03:21.680 attraction? Is it, you know, you work with her, 00:03:21.719 --> 00:03:25.219 so is it a personality thing? Or is she filling 00:03:25.219 --> 00:03:27.639 some type of void that your girl isn't? Either 00:03:27.639 --> 00:03:31.599 way, though, you need to talk to your girl and... 00:03:33.140 --> 00:03:37.800 Honestly, if I were her, I don't know. If you 00:03:37.800 --> 00:03:40.520 were her, would you leave him? I mean, if we 00:03:40.520 --> 00:03:44.580 talked about this multiple times and I'm not 00:03:44.580 --> 00:03:47.080 comfortable with it kind of thing and he's not 00:03:47.080 --> 00:03:50.979 willing to set boundaries, then I don't know. 00:03:51.180 --> 00:03:53.680 I mean, it all really depends on what you're 00:03:53.680 --> 00:03:57.400 able to deal with. I just feel like for me, I 00:03:57.400 --> 00:04:02.409 wouldn't want my significant other. spending 00:04:02.409 --> 00:04:05.289 time with someone else and not, not even mentioning 00:04:05.289 --> 00:04:06.750 it to me or letting me know like what's going 00:04:06.750 --> 00:04:09.189 on, like behind, behind my back kind of thing. 00:04:11.449 --> 00:04:14.289 Yeah, no, I agree. And I will say like, you're 00:04:14.289 --> 00:04:17.790 only 23. You're very young. There's, you don't 00:04:17.790 --> 00:04:22.370 have to deal with a lot of shit yet. Um, so I, 00:04:22.550 --> 00:04:26.449 depending on how the conversation goes, I would 00:04:26.449 --> 00:04:29.790 just cut your losses if it continues. And, you 00:04:29.790 --> 00:04:31.490 know, because right now it could just be drinks, 00:04:31.509 --> 00:04:34.850 but, He's already hiding things. I don't see 00:04:34.850 --> 00:04:37.509 it going uphill. I see it going downhill. So 00:04:37.509 --> 00:04:40.610 you're 23. You still have a lot of time left. 00:04:40.730 --> 00:04:42.649 You still have plenty of dating to do. I wouldn't 00:04:42.649 --> 00:04:45.149 settle for just that one person. Yeah, it might 00:04:45.149 --> 00:04:48.370 be time to reconsider other options if they can't 00:04:48.370 --> 00:04:55.990 get past this. Our next submission is a 28 year 00:04:55.990 --> 00:04:59.129 old female who has severe eczema and has finally 00:04:59.129 --> 00:05:02.290 found a dermatologist recommended skin care that 00:05:02.290 --> 00:05:06.009 works after years of trial and error. The products 00:05:06.009 --> 00:05:08.670 are medical grade and they cost her about $300 00:05:08.670 --> 00:05:11.920 per month. Her boyfriend who lives with her has 00:05:11.920 --> 00:05:15.959 normal skin but keeps using her special cream 00:05:15.959 --> 00:05:19.420 despite having his own drugstore products. When 00:05:19.420 --> 00:05:21.740 I asked him to stop, he laughed and said it's 00:05:21.740 --> 00:05:24.540 just lotion and that I'm being ridiculous. But 00:05:24.540 --> 00:05:27.439 he's going through my small expensive tubes twice 00:05:27.439 --> 00:05:30.399 as fast, leaving me with constant flare -ups 00:05:30.399 --> 00:05:33.139 when I run out between shipments. Last night, 00:05:33.199 --> 00:05:35.680 I put a lock on my cabinet after finding him 00:05:35.680 --> 00:05:40.459 using my $80 facial serum as hand cream. he's 00:05:40.459 --> 00:05:42.800 now calling me selfish and petty saying couples 00:05:42.800 --> 00:05:45.699 should share everything am i overreacting for 00:05:45.699 --> 00:05:47.339 drawing this boundary i wouldn't care if they 00:05:47.339 --> 00:05:49.759 were normal products but this is medically necessary 00:05:49.759 --> 00:05:54.300 for me and financially unsuitable if we're both 00:05:54.300 --> 00:05:56.420 using them he can easily grab his five dollar 00:05:56.420 --> 00:05:59.620 moisturizer from the shower caddy instead my 00:05:59.620 --> 00:06:03.160 opinion i think he's he's he's being a bit of 00:06:03.160 --> 00:06:07.860 a dick for i mean she's paying 300 a month for 00:06:08.800 --> 00:06:12.339 things that she needs for her eczema and you're 00:06:12.339 --> 00:06:15.600 using it as fucking lotion for your hands i think 00:06:15.600 --> 00:06:17.240 that's kind of fucked up i don't actually think 00:06:17.240 --> 00:06:20.500 that he cares about her eczema or cares about 00:06:20.500 --> 00:06:25.519 how much money she's having to spend and you 00:06:25.519 --> 00:06:27.579 know based off of this it doesn't seem like he's 00:06:27.579 --> 00:06:30.759 dishing out any of the money for it she's paying 00:06:30.759 --> 00:06:34.959 for it and he's using it and just wasting it 00:06:34.959 --> 00:06:39.189 which is causing her skin to have issues Because 00:06:39.189 --> 00:06:41.829 he's just... I don't know. I don't like it. I 00:06:41.829 --> 00:06:43.970 don't like that he's using her shit when he has 00:06:43.970 --> 00:06:45.990 his own. And that he's not even using it for 00:06:45.990 --> 00:06:47.810 the right thing. He's using her face cream for 00:06:47.810 --> 00:06:50.329 his hands. Yeah, that's kind of crazy, bro. Like, 00:06:50.329 --> 00:06:54.209 he's spending $300 a month, and I'm like, he's 00:06:54.209 --> 00:06:56.149 gotta know, like, he's spending that kind of 00:06:56.149 --> 00:07:00.170 money on it. Like, how does he not understand 00:07:00.170 --> 00:07:02.689 that, like, yeah, you can't just use this anytime 00:07:02.689 --> 00:07:07.649 you want to. It's not just for... you know hydrating 00:07:07.649 --> 00:07:12.689 and and and uh making your hand smooth like you're 00:07:12.689 --> 00:07:16.149 over here like making her have to go out and 00:07:16.149 --> 00:07:19.490 have eczema breakdown and she's probably not 00:07:19.490 --> 00:07:21.329 feeling comfortable about herself out there but 00:07:21.329 --> 00:07:23.129 you're like you know we should share this because 00:07:23.129 --> 00:07:25.750 we're in a relationship like it doesn't make 00:07:25.750 --> 00:07:33.509 sense no not only that but it my thing too if 00:07:33.509 --> 00:07:38.480 it is like you know if she has to get to the 00:07:38.480 --> 00:07:40.879 point where she has to lock her shit away from 00:07:40.879 --> 00:07:45.120 you and then you're getting mad about it that's 00:07:45.120 --> 00:07:48.579 a that's a red flag and he's he's 30 she's 28 00:07:48.579 --> 00:07:53.360 i feel like the maturity the maturity level should 00:07:53.360 --> 00:07:55.480 be there to where he's not getting upset about 00:07:55.480 --> 00:08:00.300 it um but even then like she shouldn't have to 00:08:00.300 --> 00:08:03.920 go to that level that she has to put a a lock 00:08:03.920 --> 00:08:08.480 on it for you to not be spending her you know 00:08:08.480 --> 00:08:12.519 wasting her lotions i feel like she's trying 00:08:12.519 --> 00:08:14.480 to set a boundary and trying to tell him how 00:08:14.480 --> 00:08:18.519 important it is for her and he's just not giving 00:08:18.519 --> 00:08:21.939 a shit and you know in this she's saying that 00:08:21.939 --> 00:08:25.660 he's calling me selfish and petty saying couples 00:08:25.660 --> 00:08:28.300 should share everything i do agree couples should 00:08:28.300 --> 00:08:31.240 share things but not everything this is a prime 00:08:31.240 --> 00:08:35.169 fucking example you should absolutely not be 00:08:35.169 --> 00:08:37.370 sharing and he's the one that's being selfish 00:08:37.370 --> 00:08:41.370 using your things that you're paying that money 00:08:41.370 --> 00:08:45.350 for but I would also say if you have insurance 00:08:45.350 --> 00:08:49.870 use your insurance because spending $300 a month 00:08:49.870 --> 00:08:54.399 on over -the -counter products That's a lot. 00:08:54.419 --> 00:08:56.639 That's a lot of fucking money. Yeah, and I mean, 00:08:56.659 --> 00:08:58.580 like you were saying, like, if she has to go 00:08:58.580 --> 00:09:01.720 to that extent, do you have to literally physically 00:09:01.720 --> 00:09:04.320 lock up the lotion so that he doesn't use it? 00:09:04.360 --> 00:09:08.419 Like, he's obviously just, like, not being sensitive 00:09:08.419 --> 00:09:11.139 to the situation and not understanding, like, 00:09:11.159 --> 00:09:13.100 how she feels about it. But it's not only that, 00:09:13.220 --> 00:09:15.700 but it's, like, it's also super expensive. So, 00:09:15.720 --> 00:09:20.200 like, not just lotion that you use daily just 00:09:20.200 --> 00:09:24.120 to use it. Like, she needs it. you know, to take 00:09:24.120 --> 00:09:30.720 care of it all. Right. All right. Next one is, 00:09:30.799 --> 00:09:35.259 I'll keep this short and to the point. A few 00:09:35.259 --> 00:09:37.320 years ago in my early 20s, I was still living 00:09:37.320 --> 00:09:39.639 with my mom and stepdad. I found a hidden camera 00:09:39.639 --> 00:09:41.799 in the bathroom. It turned out it was his. I 00:09:41.799 --> 00:09:43.840 gave it to my mom thinking she'd confront him 00:09:43.840 --> 00:09:45.919 or at least do something about it, but she didn't. 00:09:45.919 --> 00:09:48.250 Nothing ever came of it. Years later, after I 00:09:48.250 --> 00:09:49.990 moved out, I brought it up again. I told her 00:09:49.990 --> 00:09:51.909 I didn't feel comfortable with them staying over 00:09:51.909 --> 00:09:54.230 at my house anymore. I was already dealing with 00:09:54.230 --> 00:09:56.309 anxiety and their visits made it worse. I was 00:09:56.309 --> 00:09:59.049 calm and respectful about it and even felt like 00:09:59.049 --> 00:10:02.169 the conversation went well. Three days later, 00:10:02.250 --> 00:10:04.750 she asked if they could stay the night. It felt 00:10:04.750 --> 00:10:07.049 like she completely dismissed what I said. After 00:10:07.049 --> 00:10:08.990 that, I started pulling away. She's the kind 00:10:08.990 --> 00:10:11.070 of mom who texts every morning to check in, but 00:10:11.070 --> 00:10:12.950 I couldn't bring myself to talk to her like nothing 00:10:12.950 --> 00:10:15.690 happened. She told me I needed to let it go. 00:10:16.269 --> 00:10:19.950 and stop uh ruminating and even said her life 00:10:19.950 --> 00:10:23.389 had been worse and she got over it that stung 00:10:23.389 --> 00:10:26.590 i told her i love her but i need space since 00:10:26.590 --> 00:10:28.750 then i stopped entering her cause we haven't 00:10:28.750 --> 00:10:32.490 talked much or had much contact she's the only 00:10:32.490 --> 00:10:34.669 person i have left so this hasn't been easy but 00:10:34.669 --> 00:10:37.250 i keep asking myself am i overreacting or is 00:10:37.250 --> 00:10:39.509 it valid that i need to step back i also wanted 00:10:39.509 --> 00:10:41.649 to mention that this isn't the only time when 00:10:41.649 --> 00:10:43.289 i thought her relationship was more important 00:10:43.289 --> 00:10:45.960 than us Never expected her to leave him. I even 00:10:45.960 --> 00:10:48.639 told her that I would give him the benefit of 00:10:48.639 --> 00:10:50.980 the doubt. It might have been an accident for 00:10:50.980 --> 00:10:53.480 how a camera ended up in my bathroom. But for 00:10:53.480 --> 00:10:56.600 me, the way things were handled hurt even more 00:10:56.600 --> 00:11:00.159 than the camera itself. I have a few opinions 00:11:00.159 --> 00:11:02.919 about this. My first one is that's fucking weird 00:11:02.919 --> 00:11:08.240 that your stepdad's camera ended up in your bathroom. 00:11:08.919 --> 00:11:11.919 That's fucking dude. I've seen this movie before. 00:11:11.980 --> 00:11:16.330 That's weird. I don't like that. The second thing 00:11:16.330 --> 00:11:20.610 is I feel like her mom is dismissing it and not 00:11:20.610 --> 00:11:22.429 the whole like, oh, I've been through tougher 00:11:22.429 --> 00:11:25.029 shit in life than you have thing, but I feel 00:11:25.029 --> 00:11:28.070 like her mom probably thinks that she found the 00:11:28.070 --> 00:11:29.850 one and she's not going to let anything ruin 00:11:29.850 --> 00:11:32.409 it. So regardless of what this guy does, her 00:11:32.409 --> 00:11:35.330 mom's going to stick with him. But I don't know. 00:11:35.470 --> 00:11:38.850 I mean, yeah, like that last part, I'm just like, 00:11:38.950 --> 00:11:44.049 how can you? How can you somehow give someone 00:11:44.049 --> 00:11:47.649 the benefit of the doubt of a camera accidentally 00:11:47.649 --> 00:11:51.070 ending up in your bathroom in a spot that was 00:11:51.070 --> 00:11:53.990 supposed to be hidden, of course. But, like, 00:11:53.990 --> 00:11:57.149 that makes absolutely no sense. Like, that's 00:11:57.149 --> 00:12:01.450 unjustifiable. Like, Bro's definitely, he's definitely 00:12:01.450 --> 00:12:04.970 reporting her and, you know, who knows what he's 00:12:04.970 --> 00:12:08.509 doing with the footage after that. Like, disrespecting 00:12:08.509 --> 00:12:11.529 not only her. but, like, the relationship he's 00:12:11.529 --> 00:12:14.710 supposedly having with her mother, which he seems 00:12:14.710 --> 00:12:18.029 to value more than her own daughter. I don't 00:12:18.029 --> 00:12:24.210 understand that right there. No, not only that, 00:12:24.350 --> 00:12:28.629 but also, like, you know, it makes me feel like 00:12:28.629 --> 00:12:31.230 she isn't the first person that he's probably 00:12:31.230 --> 00:12:35.100 done this to. But the fact that he's just getting 00:12:35.100 --> 00:12:37.779 away with it like absolutely nothing. And then 00:12:37.779 --> 00:12:40.279 if I were her, I would be confronting him as 00:12:40.279 --> 00:12:42.460 well, not just the mother. But I'd be like, yo, 00:12:42.500 --> 00:12:44.759 I found your shit in my bathroom. I want to see 00:12:44.759 --> 00:12:46.659 what the fuck you recorded. I want to see the 00:12:46.659 --> 00:12:48.620 footage because who knows? It could be a lot 00:12:48.620 --> 00:12:51.679 of things. It could be her getting naked, take 00:12:51.679 --> 00:12:53.679 a shower. It could be her in the shower. It could 00:12:53.679 --> 00:12:57.139 be just, you know, doing her morning or her nightly 00:12:57.139 --> 00:13:00.519 routine and whatever the case. But either way, 00:13:00.740 --> 00:13:03.769 there is. There's zero reason why you should 00:13:03.769 --> 00:13:06.029 have a camera in the bathroom. There's absolutely 00:13:06.029 --> 00:13:09.129 no reason why there should be a camera. And if 00:13:09.129 --> 00:13:11.909 she said that she found the camera, that means 00:13:11.909 --> 00:13:14.970 that she was, she wasn't looking for it. You 00:13:14.970 --> 00:13:17.029 know, she was doing something and bam, there's 00:13:17.029 --> 00:13:19.870 the fucking camera. Um, what I'm wondering is 00:13:19.870 --> 00:13:22.610 how she knows it's his specifically, but I'm 00:13:22.610 --> 00:13:25.169 assuming it's, it's either her mom's or it's 00:13:25.169 --> 00:13:28.210 his. So the obvious was to plan. It seemed that 00:13:28.210 --> 00:13:30.149 no one else is staying in the house. And I think 00:13:30.149 --> 00:13:35.980 so. It'd have to be his. I also like the mom. 00:13:36.139 --> 00:13:38.519 She's saying that worse things happen to her 00:13:38.519 --> 00:13:40.000 and things like that. It's kind of brushing her 00:13:40.000 --> 00:13:42.879 under the rug. That shows you the kind of mother 00:13:42.879 --> 00:13:46.559 she grew up with and where she stands. I mean, 00:13:46.559 --> 00:13:52.399 obviously, it can't be her first run -in. No, 00:13:52.480 --> 00:13:55.100 it's absolutely not her first run -in. And yeah, 00:13:55.179 --> 00:13:57.220 the whole I've been through worse things in life. 00:13:58.409 --> 00:14:02.929 her mom is absolutely traumatized but she she 00:14:02.929 --> 00:14:04.970 doesn't care she doesn't care she cares more 00:14:04.970 --> 00:14:07.350 about the man and about the dick than she cares 00:14:07.350 --> 00:14:11.649 her own daughter um that to me is pretty pretty 00:14:11.649 --> 00:14:17.070 fucked but moving on i 29 female have been married 00:14:17.070 --> 00:14:20.289 to my husband 31 male since january he literally 00:14:20.289 --> 00:14:23.289 never opens his phone around me which i find 00:14:23.289 --> 00:14:25.730 very suspicious i think i'm just overreacting 00:14:26.429 --> 00:14:29.409 Because I've been cheated on in the past. I open 00:14:29.409 --> 00:14:32.230 mind around him all the time, and I have no issues 00:14:32.230 --> 00:14:34.830 with him seeing who I'm messaging. Am I just 00:14:34.830 --> 00:14:37.309 insecure? Am I being paranoid? I just think it's 00:14:37.309 --> 00:14:39.509 weird that he's never opened his phone around 00:14:39.509 --> 00:14:43.289 me before. I mean, she could be overreacting 00:14:43.289 --> 00:14:45.610 to it, especially if they never had a conversation 00:14:45.610 --> 00:14:48.830 about it. There's definitely some context we're 00:14:48.830 --> 00:14:53.909 missing there. She obviously... you know, has 00:14:53.909 --> 00:14:56.389 the past with the, with someone, you know, cheating 00:14:56.389 --> 00:15:00.389 on her. So she most likely would assume, you 00:15:00.389 --> 00:15:02.389 know, have her, have her defenses up or walls 00:15:02.389 --> 00:15:05.090 up, but they also, they're married. So it's like, 00:15:05.129 --> 00:15:07.389 if you really feel uncomfortable about it, like 00:15:07.389 --> 00:15:09.850 I've got to talk about it. Cause communication 00:15:09.850 --> 00:15:11.409 is going to be the only way you're going to, 00:15:11.409 --> 00:15:16.350 you're going to get through this one. Right. 00:15:16.490 --> 00:15:18.769 And it could just be something that, that he's 00:15:18.769 --> 00:15:21.169 not used to. He might, he might not be the type 00:15:21.169 --> 00:15:23.679 of guy that. you know he uses it and maybe he 00:15:23.679 --> 00:15:27.440 always pockets it afterwards or he just doesn't 00:15:27.440 --> 00:15:29.580 use it around you just because of the fact that 00:15:29.580 --> 00:15:32.100 he wants to enjoy his time with you and he's 00:15:32.100 --> 00:15:36.580 a quality time type of guy or he just finds that 00:15:36.580 --> 00:15:39.240 there's nothing important he also might not be 00:15:39.240 --> 00:15:41.980 the type of guy that's into social media so we're 00:15:41.980 --> 00:15:45.440 not you know we weren't given a lot of context 00:15:45.440 --> 00:15:50.059 to really give that much of a of an opinion but 00:15:51.330 --> 00:15:53.809 You know, both of our opinions essentially is 00:15:53.809 --> 00:15:56.429 talk with him, have a conversation with him and 00:15:56.429 --> 00:15:59.809 let him know how you feel about it and see how 00:15:59.809 --> 00:16:02.129 he reacts. See if he's like, yeah, here's my 00:16:02.129 --> 00:16:04.289 phone. I don't care. Or if he just tells you, 00:16:04.309 --> 00:16:06.789 like, I just don't care to be on my phone. So 00:16:06.789 --> 00:16:09.129 you're on your phone more than I am. And that's 00:16:09.129 --> 00:16:11.610 why yours is always around me. It could just 00:16:11.610 --> 00:16:14.049 be something as simple as that. But I wouldn't 00:16:14.049 --> 00:16:15.950 overthink it. I would have a conversation. He's 00:16:15.950 --> 00:16:18.429 just trying to check his crypto portfolio, man. 00:16:24.259 --> 00:16:27.340 alright next one is I know this probably sounds 00:16:27.340 --> 00:16:30.240 really stupid I was washing my face in the sink 00:16:30.240 --> 00:16:33.100 some water went up my nose and now I'm worried 00:16:33.100 --> 00:16:36.120 I live in Texas and I saw the news about an elderly 00:16:36.120 --> 00:16:40.059 lady getting a brain eating emoba from using 00:16:40.059 --> 00:16:42.940 tap water and an RV to clear out her sinuses 00:16:42.940 --> 00:16:45.740 like a neti pot I'm sorry if I'm being really 00:16:45.740 --> 00:16:47.960 dramatic. I deal with really horrible anxiety 00:16:47.960 --> 00:16:50.860 and would like my mind to be put at ease. Any 00:16:50.860 --> 00:16:54.700 help is much appreciated. You want to take this 00:16:54.700 --> 00:17:00.279 one? No, I mean, with the amoebas, I know they're 00:17:00.279 --> 00:17:06.839 usually in fresh water. So I don't think if it's 00:17:06.839 --> 00:17:09.160 like city water, you're probably not having a 00:17:09.160 --> 00:17:12.180 high risk or high chance of getting something 00:17:12.180 --> 00:17:16.029 like that happening to you. I don't know. I guess 00:17:16.029 --> 00:17:19.450 it really depends on your location. I mean, people 00:17:19.450 --> 00:17:22.410 have different fears about getting sick, and 00:17:22.410 --> 00:17:25.930 I can understand that, but, I mean, I think you 00:17:25.930 --> 00:17:31.170 might be okay. Nah, I disagree, bro. I think 00:17:31.170 --> 00:17:33.950 you're fucked. Start writing your will. You feel 00:17:33.950 --> 00:17:36.789 me? I think you're doomed. The Amiibo's gonna 00:17:36.789 --> 00:17:39.670 get you, and, you know, next time you should 00:17:39.670 --> 00:17:41.289 just be more careful when you're washing your 00:17:41.289 --> 00:17:46.660 face, you know? Too late now. Right, that will 00:17:46.660 --> 00:17:50.519 put us in it. Alright, the next one. My girlfriend, 00:17:50.700 --> 00:17:53.920 27, female, and I, 23, male, have been dating 00:17:53.920 --> 00:17:56.339 for four months. We went out for some drinks 00:17:56.339 --> 00:17:59.339 after work. For context, she's been borderline 00:17:59.339 --> 00:18:01.420 amazing in helping me emotionally and mentally 00:18:01.420 --> 00:18:03.799 recover after my six -year relationship with 00:18:03.799 --> 00:18:06.539 my ex. It's been a 180 in how I've been treated, 00:18:06.619 --> 00:18:09.059 which has been great in our relationship, but 00:18:09.059 --> 00:18:11.799 in my mind, it feels almost too good to be true. 00:18:12.640 --> 00:18:14.640 So after we came back to my place, she fell asleep, 00:18:14.819 --> 00:18:17.240 which led me to snoop through her phone. I know 00:18:17.240 --> 00:18:20.180 it's a big no -no, which I took 100 % accountability 00:18:20.180 --> 00:18:24.359 for, but I couldn't resist due to a nagging feeling 00:18:24.359 --> 00:18:27.119 in my gut. After a few minutes of snooping, I 00:18:27.119 --> 00:18:28.819 found a conversation about a year and a half 00:18:28.819 --> 00:18:32.160 prior to us dating about her best friend reminiscing 00:18:32.160 --> 00:18:34.839 about the time that they hooked up. It was a 00:18:34.839 --> 00:18:37.180 bit vulgar, all things considered, and after 00:18:37.180 --> 00:18:39.119 reading enough, I couldn't find any more messages. 00:18:39.640 --> 00:18:41.740 I confronted her, and I can't lie, she's done 00:18:41.740 --> 00:18:43.980 all the right things since. She's blocked him, 00:18:44.079 --> 00:18:46.180 she said it was a one -time thing, and admitted 00:18:46.180 --> 00:18:49.160 that it was during a rough time in her life when 00:18:49.160 --> 00:18:51.240 she thought maybe a hookup could fix things in 00:18:51.240 --> 00:18:54.880 her life, but I'm not sure. It was annoying to 00:18:54.880 --> 00:18:57.579 think about before when I met him, and I wasn't 00:18:57.579 --> 00:18:59.900 even aware that it took place, and the part of 00:18:59.900 --> 00:19:02.500 me feels like I can't trust her. Any advice? 00:19:03.519 --> 00:19:06.880 My advice is this. You've been together four 00:19:06.880 --> 00:19:10.730 months. This happened about a year, year and 00:19:10.730 --> 00:19:13.950 a half, possibly even longer than that before 00:19:13.950 --> 00:19:17.329 you. I don't feel like you have the right to 00:19:17.329 --> 00:19:20.990 say that you can't trust her unless she did something 00:19:20.990 --> 00:19:24.109 right now during these four months to break your 00:19:24.109 --> 00:19:27.069 trust. I don't feel like you have any right to 00:19:27.069 --> 00:19:31.369 cast any doubt on her. She blocked him. The first 00:19:31.369 --> 00:19:34.049 thing she did is block him. So right then and 00:19:34.049 --> 00:19:35.769 there, that should give you more than enough 00:19:35.769 --> 00:19:40.509 trust. I understand feeling awkward being around 00:19:40.509 --> 00:19:43.549 him or if she even still speaks to him or spoke 00:19:43.549 --> 00:19:46.309 to him at that time. I understand why you would 00:19:46.309 --> 00:19:48.890 feel uncomfortable with it and it would feel 00:19:48.890 --> 00:19:51.509 like an awkward thing. I get that. But I don't 00:19:51.509 --> 00:19:53.309 think that you have the right to not trust her 00:19:53.309 --> 00:19:56.089 over something that happened well over a year 00:19:56.089 --> 00:19:59.950 prior to you when you're the one that went through 00:19:59.950 --> 00:20:04.630 her phone. So if anything, she shouldn't trust 00:20:04.630 --> 00:20:08.410 you, in my opinion. Just because of the fact 00:20:08.410 --> 00:20:12.549 that you invaded her privacy while she was sleeping. 00:20:13.309 --> 00:20:15.470 But that's my opinion. What do you think? I think 00:20:15.470 --> 00:20:19.029 my boy has some imposter syndrome, bro. Like, 00:20:19.029 --> 00:20:22.069 you go and you take a good thing and you just 00:20:22.069 --> 00:20:24.349 want to throw it away because you have all these 00:20:24.349 --> 00:20:26.470 doubts that, like, things aren't supposed to 00:20:26.470 --> 00:20:28.789 be the way they are. Like, he even said it himself. 00:20:28.990 --> 00:20:30.869 He felt like it's too good to be true. It's like, 00:20:30.869 --> 00:20:33.950 sometimes you get lucky in life and you just 00:20:33.950 --> 00:20:36.410 gotta let it be. Let the, you know, relationship 00:20:36.410 --> 00:20:39.269 take its course. I mean, yeah, he found some, 00:20:39.309 --> 00:20:41.869 like, I guess some vulgar things in there and, 00:20:41.910 --> 00:20:43.390 like, things that he's done in the past, but, 00:20:43.430 --> 00:20:47.710 like, that it was way before him. And plus, like, 00:20:48.849 --> 00:20:51.529 from what it sounds like in the context there, 00:20:51.609 --> 00:20:54.869 like, he handled it really well in comparison 00:20:54.869 --> 00:20:57.190 to, like, how most people would react or most 00:20:57.190 --> 00:21:00.009 girls would react, I would say. So he's, like, 00:21:00.029 --> 00:21:01.829 kind of lucky to still even, like, kind of have 00:21:01.829 --> 00:21:08.460 relationships. yeah no i agree and like he said 00:21:08.460 --> 00:21:13.099 he he she's helped him emotionally mentally recover 00:21:13.099 --> 00:21:16.119 from his previous six -year relationship but 00:21:16.119 --> 00:21:19.319 that shouldn't be on her that should be on you 00:21:19.319 --> 00:21:22.319 and if you weren't healed enough before you're 00:21:22.319 --> 00:21:23.799 you know if you weren't healed before you got 00:21:23.799 --> 00:21:28.039 into that relationship then if this doesn't end 00:21:28.039 --> 00:21:31.279 up working my advice is to take the time to heal 00:21:31.279 --> 00:21:36.319 take the time to know who you are, know what 00:21:36.319 --> 00:21:39.279 you want before you jump into the next relationship 00:21:39.279 --> 00:21:43.220 and commit the same mistake. But like Santo said, 00:21:43.380 --> 00:21:46.259 there are times that you just find someone that's 00:21:46.259 --> 00:21:49.559 fucking, you know, that's it, that they're just 00:21:49.559 --> 00:21:51.740 incredible and that it seems too good to be true, 00:21:51.779 --> 00:21:53.460 but that's what it is. That's what they are. 00:21:53.500 --> 00:21:55.779 That's who they are. And she did take all the 00:21:55.779 --> 00:21:58.400 right steps right off the rip as soon as you 00:21:58.400 --> 00:22:01.509 confronted her. She took the right step, so there 00:22:01.509 --> 00:22:03.210 shouldn't be any doubt. There shouldn't be any 00:22:03.210 --> 00:22:08.069 trust broken on your end. She's fine, in my opinion. 00:22:09.109 --> 00:22:11.410 If she has doubts on you, I hope that you're 00:22:11.410 --> 00:22:13.230 not getting defensive about it and that you're 00:22:13.230 --> 00:22:15.630 allowing her to have her doubts because she does 00:22:15.630 --> 00:22:17.529 have the right to have them since you did go 00:22:17.529 --> 00:22:20.980 snooping through. Yeah, it's even crazier than 00:22:20.980 --> 00:22:23.799 at the NES. Like, I can't trust her anymore. 00:22:23.859 --> 00:22:26.440 Like, I don't understand that. Like, she seems 00:22:26.440 --> 00:22:28.619 to be taking all the right steps, so I don't 00:22:28.619 --> 00:22:31.700 know what else she could really show you to actually 00:22:31.700 --> 00:22:36.279 earn your trust. Right, besides fucking sending 00:22:36.279 --> 00:22:39.160 you a screenshot of every message she sends and 00:22:39.160 --> 00:22:43.700 receives. Like, no, and that's just crazy. Speaking 00:22:43.700 --> 00:22:46.240 of, I got told to put clothes on in the library 00:22:46.240 --> 00:22:49.799 because I was in gym clothes. the sports bra 00:22:49.799 --> 00:22:52.619 i was wearing went just above my belly button 00:22:52.619 --> 00:22:55.400 and covered more than some crop tops and my shorts 00:22:55.400 --> 00:22:58.500 were pretty loose not revealing not tight just 00:22:58.500 --> 00:23:00.799 right they were above the knee but they didn't 00:23:00.799 --> 00:23:03.000 look like underwear not to mention it's hot out 00:23:03.000 --> 00:23:06.339 and we live in a desert i don't know i feel like 00:23:06.339 --> 00:23:09.319 the lady acted like i was being immodest but 00:23:09.319 --> 00:23:12.279 jesus people walk around on campus in bikinis 00:23:12.279 --> 00:23:14.880 like am i crazy for thinking she was being weird 00:23:14.880 --> 00:23:16.960 for telling me i need you to go put some clothes 00:23:16.960 --> 00:23:20.619 on Only for me to then be kicked out anyway because 00:23:20.619 --> 00:23:23.339 the library was closing. I don't know. I get 00:23:23.339 --> 00:23:25.460 very cagey when people comment on the modesty 00:23:25.460 --> 00:23:27.420 of my clothes because it's been like this since 00:23:27.420 --> 00:23:30.259 I was a kid. People complain when I wear anything 00:23:30.259 --> 00:23:33.019 and I often was the only one getting dress coded 00:23:33.019 --> 00:23:35.220 at school despite other girls wearing similar 00:23:35.220 --> 00:23:37.920 or more revealing things than I do. Maybe I'm 00:23:37.920 --> 00:23:41.539 overreacting. Maybe I'm not. I don't know. I 00:23:41.539 --> 00:23:45.460 mean, the lady could just honestly be one of 00:23:45.460 --> 00:23:47.900 those old school people. that's like if you're 00:23:47.900 --> 00:23:50.299 a woman and you're showing any skin then you 00:23:50.299 --> 00:23:53.140 need to go you need a balance and whatever the 00:23:53.140 --> 00:23:55.980 case and i get the part where you're saying that 00:23:55.980 --> 00:23:59.559 other people on campus dress way worse than what 00:23:59.559 --> 00:24:03.480 you were you know wearing but you are specifically 00:24:03.480 --> 00:24:07.799 mentioning the library so it sounds like if this 00:24:07.799 --> 00:24:11.690 person the librarian whoever You know, it sounds 00:24:11.690 --> 00:24:14.690 like if there was anyone else dressed like you 00:24:14.690 --> 00:24:16.549 were or worse, you would have just kicked them 00:24:16.549 --> 00:24:18.450 out too. I don't feel like you're overreacting 00:24:18.450 --> 00:24:20.390 because, I mean, I wouldn't like it if I got 00:24:20.390 --> 00:24:22.190 kicked out just because of my dress choices, 00:24:22.349 --> 00:24:25.990 especially if it doesn't seem that bad. But I 00:24:25.990 --> 00:24:29.329 wouldn't take it as you being targeted specifically. 00:24:29.630 --> 00:24:31.509 I feel like she would just do this to anyone. 00:24:31.970 --> 00:24:35.410 Yeah, I mean, it's hard to say without saying 00:24:35.410 --> 00:24:40.339 the whole outfit ourselves. You are kind of in 00:24:40.339 --> 00:24:44.200 a public place in the library. So, I mean, I 00:24:44.200 --> 00:24:46.680 guess there could be higher standards in there. 00:24:46.779 --> 00:24:48.720 And it sounds like you said that you were on 00:24:48.720 --> 00:24:51.019 a campus. So you might be on a university and 00:24:51.019 --> 00:24:53.960 not sure what the rules might be for that university. 00:24:54.519 --> 00:24:56.779 Maybe she was just trying to adhere to the guidelines 00:24:56.779 --> 00:25:00.779 there for maybe being a little bit more professional 00:25:00.779 --> 00:25:04.759 in the library. But other than that, I mean. 00:25:05.470 --> 00:25:08.329 Yeah, I get it. Especially since it seems like 00:25:08.329 --> 00:25:10.789 you have been dealing with this since you were 00:25:10.789 --> 00:25:13.029 pretty young. It seems like you feel like you're 00:25:13.029 --> 00:25:15.450 getting targeted, but it might just be her upholding 00:25:15.450 --> 00:25:21.390 the policy. Yeah, that's true. She could just 00:25:21.390 --> 00:25:24.730 simply be doing her job and it'd be absolutely 00:25:24.730 --> 00:25:27.009 nothing against you and she's just doing what 00:25:27.009 --> 00:25:29.769 she needs to do because otherwise somebody else 00:25:29.769 --> 00:25:33.009 walks in there and sees you and then it becomes 00:25:33.009 --> 00:25:37.980 a bigger problem. So I don't think it's specifically 00:25:37.980 --> 00:25:40.980 towards you. I think that she's just doing her 00:25:40.980 --> 00:25:43.380 job or she just says that to everyone and you 00:25:43.380 --> 00:25:47.440 just happen to be that person at that time. So 00:25:47.440 --> 00:25:51.779 next one, we have a 22 -year -old male and his 00:25:51.779 --> 00:25:53.779 girlfriend, 21, have been dating for a year and 00:25:53.779 --> 00:25:56.160 a half. She's amazing. She's caring. She tells 00:25:56.160 --> 00:25:59.920 me she loves me. Our sex life is great, but also 00:25:59.920 --> 00:26:03.960 respectful of each other's time, class, work, 00:26:04.019 --> 00:26:06.839 time with friends. However, she has an ex -boyfriend 00:26:06.839 --> 00:26:08.700 who is on her best friend's list on Snapchat. 00:26:08.960 --> 00:26:11.059 I've watched her send him Instagram reels and 00:26:11.059 --> 00:26:14.539 sometimes Snapchat him back. Am I being paranoid 00:26:14.539 --> 00:26:16.480 for asking her to cut communication with him? 00:26:16.519 --> 00:26:19.119 Not entirely, but break the Snap streak and stop 00:26:19.119 --> 00:26:21.759 sending reels. For clarification, I don't think 00:26:21.759 --> 00:26:23.940 she sends him real TikToks constantly, but they're 00:26:23.940 --> 00:26:26.319 definitely in communication. Definitely Snapchat, 00:26:26.559 --> 00:26:31.079 at least occasionally. Um, well, it's an ex, 00:26:31.200 --> 00:26:33.960 so I can feel... i i can understand why he's 00:26:33.960 --> 00:26:35.960 insecure about it but i feel like there's a there's 00:26:35.960 --> 00:26:39.059 a bigger reason there's a deeper reason as to 00:26:39.059 --> 00:26:43.240 why he's really upset about it i feel like it 00:26:43.240 --> 00:26:45.279 has to do something with something that went 00:26:45.279 --> 00:26:48.359 on with him at some point you know with an ex 00:26:48.359 --> 00:26:51.500 possibly he has he has some type of trust issue 00:26:51.500 --> 00:26:57.000 um i will say if you know not everyone is meant 00:26:57.000 --> 00:27:00.339 to be together and there is a chance that they 00:27:00.339 --> 00:27:03.450 just formed a friendship after their relationship, 00:27:03.609 --> 00:27:08.329 which can happen. I also understand if he maybe 00:27:08.329 --> 00:27:11.549 feel like, what if it circles back? So, I don't 00:27:11.549 --> 00:27:14.269 know. I think he might be overreacting a little 00:27:14.269 --> 00:27:17.569 bit. I don't think it's that big of a deal if 00:27:17.569 --> 00:27:20.230 they're not having actual conversations. They're 00:27:20.230 --> 00:27:23.150 just sending each other TikToks and shit. But 00:27:23.150 --> 00:27:26.089 I don't feel like we have enough information. 00:27:26.609 --> 00:27:29.670 Yeah, I agree. It's hard to say because it's 00:27:29.670 --> 00:27:32.410 really not like... a lot of information on this 00:27:32.410 --> 00:27:35.890 but I mean from what it seems like it seems like 00:27:35.890 --> 00:27:39.970 he has a you know a pretty a pretty great girl 00:27:39.970 --> 00:27:43.470 um it seems like they're both working towards 00:27:43.470 --> 00:27:46.289 other things on their own time I mean I definitely 00:27:46.289 --> 00:27:48.329 get like you know with it being the ex involved 00:27:48.329 --> 00:27:51.049 like having like the doubts of like you know 00:27:51.049 --> 00:27:54.150 why is she still like keeping him and her life 00:27:54.150 --> 00:27:56.329 if like they were done like if there was an end 00:27:56.329 --> 00:27:58.589 to that kind of thing you know I mean, like you 00:27:58.589 --> 00:28:00.430 said, I mean, they could have decided to be friends 00:28:00.430 --> 00:28:04.069 afterwards, but I don't know, guys and girls 00:28:04.069 --> 00:28:07.490 being friends, then previously having relationships, 00:28:07.710 --> 00:28:11.609 it just could get messy and it just doesn't always 00:28:11.609 --> 00:28:14.970 work out that way that we think it will work 00:28:14.970 --> 00:28:17.009 out, like them just being friends, you know what 00:28:17.009 --> 00:28:23.150 I mean? Yeah, I think you need to, Donifer, have 00:28:23.150 --> 00:28:26.309 a talk and not just start off with, hey, I need 00:28:26.309 --> 00:28:29.130 you to... Cut the conversation from or cut this 00:28:29.130 --> 00:28:31.150 or cut that. You know, find out what they're 00:28:31.150 --> 00:28:33.829 talking about. Maybe they're, dude, maybe they're 00:28:33.829 --> 00:28:36.630 talking about you. You never know. But I would 00:28:36.630 --> 00:28:38.750 sit down with her, have a conversation with her, 00:28:38.869 --> 00:28:42.210 see if they're just sending each other dumb shit 00:28:42.210 --> 00:28:44.890 that is really irrelevant and doesn't matter. 00:28:45.490 --> 00:28:48.410 You know, it could be absolutely nothing. It 00:28:48.410 --> 00:28:50.230 could just be something that's a habit for them 00:28:50.230 --> 00:28:53.529 and they're used to it. But if it also makes 00:28:53.529 --> 00:28:55.150 you feel that uncomfortable in your relationship. 00:28:55.740 --> 00:28:58.599 Then talk to her and see what kind of boundaries 00:28:58.599 --> 00:29:02.140 maybe you guys can set up. The next one we have 00:29:02.140 --> 00:29:05.559 is a 20 -year -old male. He hosted a close friend 00:29:05.559 --> 00:29:08.859 of his in his apartment for a few nights. He 00:29:08.859 --> 00:29:11.259 says, while I was out doing the grocery shopping, 00:29:11.480 --> 00:29:14.579 he decided to take my laptop, which I heavily 00:29:14.579 --> 00:29:17.660 use for editing, university work, and other functions 00:29:17.660 --> 00:29:20.460 without my consent. he claimed it was for a quick 00:29:20.460 --> 00:29:23.319 check so it didn't warrant asking for clarification 00:29:23.319 --> 00:29:26.420 my laptop has a ton of personal files and very 00:29:26.420 --> 00:29:29.440 sensitive client footage i didn't yell at him 00:29:29.440 --> 00:29:32.000 but i expressed that it was unacceptable and 00:29:32.000 --> 00:29:34.220 they crossed the boundary his response to my 00:29:34.220 --> 00:29:37.099 anger is that i was being overly dramatic do 00:29:37.099 --> 00:29:39.940 you think i'm the one who's being dramatic you 00:29:39.940 --> 00:29:43.619 want to go and start this yeah i mean that i 00:29:43.619 --> 00:29:47.309 mean especially like just taking someone's property 00:29:47.309 --> 00:29:51.730 without their consent is is wild to me especially 00:29:51.730 --> 00:29:54.809 i mean no matter what you were doing like it's 00:29:54.809 --> 00:29:57.589 not your laptop and you don't know what she does 00:29:57.589 --> 00:30:00.450 with that laptop like what if you broke it what 00:30:00.450 --> 00:30:03.410 if you messed up something on it and now she 00:30:03.410 --> 00:30:06.509 can't access those files like from what she's 00:30:06.509 --> 00:30:08.490 saying it sounds like that it was like pretty 00:30:08.490 --> 00:30:11.569 like critical information and that she was in 00:30:11.569 --> 00:30:13.769 pretty sensitive information she was handling 00:30:13.769 --> 00:30:19.279 so like It could even be her running the risk 00:30:19.279 --> 00:30:22.779 of him taking something from there that she didn't 00:30:22.779 --> 00:30:24.640 want him to have or couldn't have or something 00:30:24.640 --> 00:30:29.940 that could get her in trouble. Yeah, my biggest 00:30:29.940 --> 00:30:33.519 part about it is the fact that he said, my laptop 00:30:33.519 --> 00:30:36.480 has a ton of personal files and sensitive client 00:30:36.480 --> 00:30:42.000 footage. So it's like... you know maybe that 00:30:42.000 --> 00:30:44.079 shouldn't be on your laptop to begin with unless 00:30:44.079 --> 00:30:48.380 that's maybe your work laptop but even then if 00:30:48.380 --> 00:30:51.500 you have this sensitive stuff it could impact 00:30:51.500 --> 00:30:54.039 your career depending on what it is it could 00:30:54.039 --> 00:30:56.579 impact your life could impact your livelihood 00:30:56.579 --> 00:31:00.220 he also said that he uses it for university work 00:31:00.220 --> 00:31:03.599 so it could impact your school there's a lot 00:31:03.599 --> 00:31:06.140 of things that could have gone wrong that it 00:31:06.140 --> 00:31:08.539 could have impacted So I don't feel like you're 00:31:08.539 --> 00:31:10.420 being overly dramatic. I think your anger is 00:31:10.420 --> 00:31:14.220 justified because if whatever you had on there 00:31:14.220 --> 00:31:19.720 is found out, is shared, is exposed, whatever 00:31:19.720 --> 00:31:22.559 the case, maybe it's something to do with medical 00:31:22.559 --> 00:31:25.420 records. Maybe you work for some type of clinic, 00:31:25.559 --> 00:31:29.359 doctor, hospital. Maybe you do photography and 00:31:29.359 --> 00:31:31.779 certain things that other people can't see. Maybe, 00:31:31.839 --> 00:31:35.549 whatever, maybe. It's something that could have 00:31:35.549 --> 00:31:37.809 impacted you in a negative way, so I don't feel 00:31:37.809 --> 00:31:39.549 like your friend should have gone through your 00:31:39.549 --> 00:31:42.390 shit, especially without asking. Just absolutely 00:31:42.390 --> 00:31:48.049 not. They use a more secure password. Much more 00:31:48.049 --> 00:31:49.869 secure password, or at least put a password on 00:31:49.869 --> 00:31:53.390 if you don't have one. So, the next one is a 00:31:53.390 --> 00:31:56.730 bit ridiculous. Myself and my soon -to -be husband 00:31:56.730 --> 00:31:59.269 are expecting a little one at the end of July, 00:31:59.410 --> 00:32:01.750 early August. That means getting baby supplies 00:32:01.750 --> 00:32:04.670 as gifts. The biggest thing on the registry are 00:32:04.670 --> 00:32:08.230 diapers. We've had all registry gifts go to his 00:32:08.230 --> 00:32:10.910 mom's house as we just moved and need to do a 00:32:10.910 --> 00:32:13.269 bit of work before getting stuff here. One of 00:32:13.269 --> 00:32:15.950 those things we received was a box of size 1 00:32:15.950 --> 00:32:19.609 pamper swaddlers. The box has a black baby on 00:32:19.609 --> 00:32:22.490 it. She called us a bit ago and said we couldn't 00:32:22.490 --> 00:32:24.630 use it because the box was for black babies, 00:32:24.789 --> 00:32:27.390 claiming their butts are bigger than white babies. 00:32:27.710 --> 00:32:30.829 And yes, we're both white, but like that doesn't 00:32:30.829 --> 00:32:33.390 make any fucking sense. I'm just so baffled and 00:32:33.390 --> 00:32:35.490 confused because who says something like that? 00:32:35.609 --> 00:32:38.470 That's literally just a baby who happens to be 00:32:38.470 --> 00:32:42.269 black on the box of Pampers. Am I overreacting 00:32:42.269 --> 00:32:44.490 or is she trying to troll us? I'm so confused 00:32:44.490 --> 00:32:46.130 and honestly kind of upset that she would say 00:32:46.130 --> 00:32:48.950 something so stupid. And my husband is completely 00:32:48.950 --> 00:32:52.710 on my side and agrees with me. Yo, yo, mama -in 00:32:52.710 --> 00:32:56.049 -law is racist, bro. Straight up. There's no 00:32:56.049 --> 00:32:58.369 ifs ands or buts about it. Your fucking mother 00:32:58.369 --> 00:33:01.960 -in -law is fucking racist. And that makes no 00:33:01.960 --> 00:33:06.480 fucking sense. It's a fucking baby. They don't 00:33:06.480 --> 00:33:08.779 make fucking diapers for whites only, blacks 00:33:08.779 --> 00:33:11.079 only, fucking Hispanics only that have fucking 00:33:11.079 --> 00:33:16.000 peppers on them or bananas. No, bro. They're 00:33:16.000 --> 00:33:20.799 diapers for babies. It's universal. It doesn't 00:33:20.799 --> 00:33:23.000 matter what kind of baby you are, what color 00:33:23.000 --> 00:33:26.220 baby you are. It's the same shit for every baby. 00:33:26.819 --> 00:33:30.829 Yeah, see. He just stepped right off the plantation 00:33:30.829 --> 00:33:34.369 with that one, bro. He straight up was like, 00:33:34.470 --> 00:33:38.750 back in my day, I didn't have no babies on my 00:33:38.750 --> 00:33:41.869 diaper boxes, you know? Like, I don't know. I 00:33:41.869 --> 00:33:46.410 mean, it's just a baby model. Like, it's not 00:33:46.410 --> 00:33:50.630 a... It's literally just to show that, hey, these 00:33:50.630 --> 00:33:53.109 are diapers for babies. Like, it didn't have 00:33:53.109 --> 00:33:55.230 to go to that level. I don't know why she was 00:33:55.230 --> 00:33:57.089 thinking that way, other than just being, like, 00:33:57.089 --> 00:33:59.079 straight up, like... Well, you're not having 00:33:59.079 --> 00:34:01.660 a black baby, so these aren't the right diapers 00:34:01.660 --> 00:34:06.619 for you. Yeah, bro. Like, what if the fucking 00:34:06.619 --> 00:34:09.420 wipes, what if the box of wipes has a black baby 00:34:09.420 --> 00:34:11.340 on it? Then what the fuck are you going to say? 00:34:11.579 --> 00:34:14.780 What if the baby food that you buy in four, five, 00:34:14.820 --> 00:34:17.380 six months has a black baby on it? Then what? 00:34:17.559 --> 00:34:19.780 Are you telling me white babies can't eat fucking 00:34:19.780 --> 00:34:24.639 apple fucking baby food? Like, how does that 00:34:24.639 --> 00:34:27.500 make sense? Your fucking mother -in -law is just 00:34:27.500 --> 00:34:30.599 fucking racist. She still has the mentality from 00:34:30.599 --> 00:34:35.320 back in her old autumn days. Oh, man. I feel 00:34:35.320 --> 00:34:38.539 so sorry for her. She literally sat down, looked 00:34:38.539 --> 00:34:41.679 at this box, had a thought about it for a good 00:34:41.679 --> 00:34:44.400 minute, and said, I need to tell my daughter 00:34:44.400 --> 00:34:48.000 that they have to take these back. They cannot 00:34:48.000 --> 00:34:56.079 use these diapers. She really had to process 00:34:56.079 --> 00:35:00.159 this, and it made sense to her. It made absolute 00:35:00.159 --> 00:35:03.420 fucking sense to her. Okay, so then my question 00:35:03.420 --> 00:35:05.239 is, what if it was Huggies? Huggies used his 00:35:05.239 --> 00:35:10.400 fucking Mickey Mouse on it. Damn. So what the 00:35:10.400 --> 00:35:14.519 fuck were you going to say then? Mickey diapers 00:35:14.519 --> 00:35:16.800 are fucking rats. Mouse is like, what are you 00:35:16.800 --> 00:35:20.199 going to say then? All right, well, our last 00:35:20.199 --> 00:35:25.639 one of the night. My wife. 34 female and i 36 00:35:25.639 --> 00:35:28.039 male have been married for eight years we have 00:35:28.039 --> 00:35:31.000 two kids together she recently started a new 00:35:31.000 --> 00:35:33.780 job where she's gotten really close to one of 00:35:33.780 --> 00:35:36.480 her co -workers she calls him her work husband 00:35:36.480 --> 00:35:40.179 she says it's all jokes and off his banter nothing 00:35:40.179 --> 00:35:42.579 serious at first i brushed it off but over time 00:35:42.579 --> 00:35:44.780 she started texting him outside of work hours 00:35:44.780 --> 00:35:48.239 she's constantly laughing at his jokes and she's 00:35:48.239 --> 00:35:52.340 even facetiming him while we're away on a family 00:35:52.340 --> 00:35:55.739 trip with our kids i finally told her it was 00:35:55.739 --> 00:35:57.840 getting weird and she told me to stop being so 00:35:57.840 --> 00:36:02.059 insecure last week she asked if he could come 00:36:02.059 --> 00:36:05.579 with us on our summer vacation to the lake house 00:36:05.579 --> 00:36:08.880 she said he has no family around and he could 00:36:08.880 --> 00:36:13.159 use a break i said absolutely the not this is 00:36:13.159 --> 00:36:16.519 our family Our family time, and I don't want 00:36:16.519 --> 00:36:18.820 some random guy that I don't know tagging along, 00:36:19.059 --> 00:36:21.840 especially someone that she flirts with every 00:36:21.840 --> 00:36:25.199 single day. She got mad, said I was being controlling. 00:36:25.400 --> 00:36:27.840 Her exact words were, I'm not even allowed to 00:36:27.840 --> 00:36:30.039 have friends now. I told her it's not about friends, 00:36:30.219 --> 00:36:32.440 it's about boundaries. She's still mad and says 00:36:32.440 --> 00:36:34.719 I embarrassed her by making a big deal out of 00:36:34.719 --> 00:36:38.039 nothing. Bro, straight up, your wife is a hoe. 00:36:38.880 --> 00:36:42.699 I said what I said, and I don't regret it. Your 00:36:42.699 --> 00:36:47.500 wife? Is fucking around. With another dude. She 00:36:47.500 --> 00:36:50.079 don't give a fuck about your feelings. And I 00:36:50.079 --> 00:36:52.519 guarantee you. If he came on that trip. Your 00:36:52.519 --> 00:36:54.639 wife would have gotten piped down. By somebody 00:36:54.639 --> 00:36:58.579 the fuck else. With your kids being there. So. 00:37:00.099 --> 00:37:02.500 First of all the work husband shit. As soon as 00:37:02.500 --> 00:37:04.760 she said that. You need to shut that shit down. 00:37:05.460 --> 00:37:08.760 Fucking right away. But the fact that she's facetiming 00:37:08.760 --> 00:37:11.820 him. While on a trip. With you and your kids. 00:37:12.510 --> 00:37:15.110 That she's texting him all the time. That she 00:37:15.110 --> 00:37:18.949 wants him to go on trips with you. Nah. No. Nope. 00:37:19.309 --> 00:37:22.389 You're 34. Oh, no. You're 36. You're still fucking 00:37:22.389 --> 00:37:26.630 young, bro. You can remarry. Fuck that. Yeah, 00:37:26.670 --> 00:37:31.030 I mean, like... Like, that's crazy. I mean, like, 00:37:31.030 --> 00:37:33.750 you know, people, you know, say that stuff playfully 00:37:33.750 --> 00:37:36.489 at times. Like, not really being serious. Like, 00:37:36.489 --> 00:37:38.670 you know, nothing too serious. So I could understand 00:37:38.670 --> 00:37:41.840 where, like... that side of it's coming from 00:37:41.840 --> 00:37:44.239 like oh it's just a joke kind of thing like you 00:37:44.239 --> 00:37:45.780 know since we work together all the time kind 00:37:45.780 --> 00:37:49.340 of thing blah blah blah but then it's like like 00:37:49.340 --> 00:37:52.460 when you uh when you start going into these directions 00:37:52.460 --> 00:37:54.960 where now you're escalating the situation like 00:37:54.960 --> 00:37:58.980 now you're texting them uh now yeah and crazy 00:37:58.980 --> 00:38:01.460 like the craziest thing is inviting him to the 00:38:01.460 --> 00:38:04.750 to the family vacation like that's nuts bro And, 00:38:04.789 --> 00:38:07.429 like, what other guy would be like, oh, yeah, 00:38:07.469 --> 00:38:09.110 I'm definitely going to go on this vacation with 00:38:09.110 --> 00:38:12.030 some other, like, her family and her husband. 00:38:12.190 --> 00:38:14.329 Like, blah, blah, blah. Like, like, come on, 00:38:14.329 --> 00:38:16.809 man. Like, that's crazy as fuck. But the thing 00:38:16.809 --> 00:38:19.670 is, too, is, like, we also don't know if, like, 00:38:19.769 --> 00:38:22.030 she even, like, offered that as an option to 00:38:22.030 --> 00:38:24.030 the guy. So maybe he, you know, maybe I'm calling 00:38:24.030 --> 00:38:26.409 him weird too soon. But still, like, the whole 00:38:26.409 --> 00:38:28.630 thing's weird, bro. Like, she's definitely on 00:38:28.630 --> 00:38:34.550 some stuff, bro. Bro, not only that, but I also 00:38:34.550 --> 00:38:37.190 feel like not only are you disrespecting your 00:38:37.190 --> 00:38:40.710 husband, but you are straight up disrespecting 00:38:40.710 --> 00:38:43.769 your fucking kids by trying to have someone that 00:38:43.769 --> 00:38:48.250 is not their fucking daddy that they don't know. 00:38:48.650 --> 00:38:52.170 I'm assuming they don't know. Come on a trip 00:38:52.170 --> 00:38:56.010 with you. You feel me? How do you also explain 00:38:56.010 --> 00:38:57.949 that to your kids? Yeah, just trying to introduce 00:38:57.949 --> 00:39:03.329 them to their future stepdaddy, bro. shit bro 00:39:03.329 --> 00:39:05.090 could you bro that's some shit that you could 00:39:05.090 --> 00:39:06.989 that you would see on the news that you would 00:39:06.989 --> 00:39:11.530 literally be like oh husband kills you know wife 00:39:11.530 --> 00:39:15.110 having affair husband kills the fucking guy during 00:39:15.110 --> 00:39:18.949 a family vacation like you know that's some shit 00:39:18.949 --> 00:39:20.610 that you would absolutely see on the fucking 00:39:20.610 --> 00:39:23.889 news that's wild bro i don't i don't understand 00:39:23.889 --> 00:39:28.369 how how she even is is justifying this in her 00:39:28.369 --> 00:39:32.150 own head You know what I mean? How is she justifying 00:39:32.150 --> 00:39:36.690 inviting him over and then not even considering 00:39:36.690 --> 00:39:39.190 her husband's feelings and all that? That's insane. 00:39:42.010 --> 00:39:46.269 No, I agree. As soon as she started FaceTiming 00:39:46.269 --> 00:39:50.449 him while her husband and her kids were on vacation, 00:39:50.789 --> 00:39:53.650 that right there, that's that line. She didn't 00:39:53.650 --> 00:39:56.739 cross that line. She jumped over that shit. So 00:39:56.739 --> 00:39:59.059 right there, dude, that right there, that's just 00:39:59.059 --> 00:40:04.039 a big red flag. All right. And once again, thank 00:40:04.039 --> 00:40:06.099 you for joining us here at Speaker Chaos, your 00:40:06.099 --> 00:40:08.920 new favorite podcast where you can submit absolutely 00:40:08.920 --> 00:40:13.440 anything 100 % anonymously. 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