Hey guys, welcome to Speak Your Chaos. My name
is Carlos. Yo, it's Santos. And Speak Your Chaos,
if you're new here, is all about speaking your
truth, speaking your chaos anonymously. So with
that, we're going to go ahead and start off with
a 24 year old female. She's having a bit of an
issue with her 26 year old boyfriend. They got
into an argument yesterday morning. He got frustrated
and stormed out into the bathroom. She says,
I told him to stop walking away in the middle
of conversations and he looked at me and slammed
himself into the wall multiple times, hitting
his head each time. Now there's two big dents
in the wall and the bathroom door is cracked
and it's made out of wood, by the way. I told
him to get out and leave his key. He went to
stay with my family, with his family. I told
him he could come back and stay in the second
bedroom, but I'm not ready to talk to him until
after my therapy this Friday. Some context that
may be relevant. He got into a car crash last
Thursday. We both spent the night in the ER.
I was there supporting him. We were both somewhat
sleep deprived when this happened. Now he's recovering
from emergency open heart surgery from an unrelated
work accident last May. Because of the accident,
he's currently out of work and gets small weekly
workers' comp payments. I pretty much cover all
the expenses as well as almost all the labor.
He cleans the apartment. He does all the laundry.
He gives me $300 a month. Keep in mind, our rent
is $1 ,500. I now have to work two jobs. We struggle
a bit financially, and we're under a lot of stress.
My wisdom teeth are coming in. I have no insurance.
I'm tired because I work seven days a week, sometimes
14 to 15 hours a day. I'm pulling all -nighters
at the hospital as well. This has become a rant,
but I would just like some advice. Am I overreacting
for not letting him sleep in the same room as
me? I've been in unhealthy relationships before,
and it's hard for me to gauge what's normal and
what's not. I mean, I think she has every right
to not have him sleep in the same room as her,
especially if maybe she was scared or if that
brought up like a PTSD since she says that she's
been in unhealthy relationships before and she's
not sure what's unhealthy and what's healthy.
So I think it was fine. I would say if he's still
recovering from open heart surgery, I don't know
if running into a wall twice is the best idea.
But I don't know. He doesn't seem like the smartest
guy. But, I mean, I get it, too, though. She's
stressed. She's working seven days a week, 15
-hour days. So, I don't know. What's your opinion?
I mean, nothing's healthier than this guy's body.
If he can run into the wall like that after an
open -heart surgery, I mean, nothing can stop
this man. He's going to go cool down with his
parents for now. Somehow he's not back in the
ER. But honestly, I mean, it seems like he just
can't get away from the unhealthy side of the
relationship. He's probably better off not letting
him come back in since he's not really, like,
you know, providing for the household. Seems
like he's just causing a lot of chaos at home.
Yeah, I mean, maybe she's dating Iron Man. Who
knows? But, yeah, I feel like, realistically,
I mean, $1 ,500... for a two bedroom it makes
me think where do they live i wonder because
that's expensive and it's only if it's only the
two of them maybe downsizing in the future would
be a good idea but then again if she runs into
the situation again he's just going to end up
sleeping on the couch but you know like she said
you're you're a 24 year old female he's 26 you're
very young you have a lot of time to live your
life to figure out what you really want And if
he's overreacting that way, I would cut your
losses and honestly just move on to the next
guy. I don't think that would be entirely worth
sticking around for. But do we give him the benefit
of the doubt because he was in the hospital,
he had the surgery, like maybe he's going through
it and it's just one episode? We might not know
the full backstory to all of this, and maybe
we don't even know his side, and maybe she's
causing some additional stress right now. Yeah,
I mean, that could be true. If she's working
seven days a week, she's probably frustrated
and probably short with her answers and could
be snippy towards him. So with that, with the
surgery, with the car accident, he probably just
snapped. And it could just be like a one -time
thing where he just lost his shit for a minute.
He lost his cool. And he's going to come back,
they're going to talk about it, and hopefully
they'll be good to go afterwards. Hey, there's
a little bit of hope there. Maybe, maybe it'll
survive. Maybe, but I'm not sure this next one
will. Hey everyone, so my boyfriend 21 and I
20 were watching a TV show when an ad with Jennifer
Gardner came on. He casually mentioned that he'd
masturbated to her face on an old magazine cover
in his grandma's bathroom. I asked how old he
was when he did this, and he said recently 21.
After some more inquiry and asking him additional
questions, he also revealed that this was in
the middle of a visit with her for lunch. I thought
he was joking, but he was not, and he got pretty
offended that I was so... Grossed out. Now he's
upset with me and is giving me the saline treatment.
The only thing that bothers me is that this was
in his grandmother's bathroom in the middle of
them having a little lunch date. Am I overreacting
to this or is this completely fine? I mean...
I mean... I don't know. I mean, I don't think
it's normal for you to just get up and go to
your grandma's bathroom to fucking, you know,
spank one out to a magazine space in your grandma's
house in her bathroom, but who am I? I don't
know. What do you think? I mean, when nature
calls, you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm trying
to deal with the urges, and you don't know where
you might be at, you know what I'm saying? And,
I mean... It is Carmen Electra, for God's sake.
I mean, he might have been in the past. Fair.
And he's 21. He doesn't know how to control his
urges yet. Yeah. So, I mean... Grandma's house?
I don't know, man. There's got to be... You've
got to draw a line somewhere. Grandma's house
and her bathroom? Like, what if he left some
on the wall? Oh, man. I hope... Her grandma is
a cleaning lady. I don't think she wants to touch
her grandson's semen, you know what I mean? No,
I don't think so either. But, I mean, on the
bright side, right, on the bright side, now you
know for Halloween exactly what you need to be.
True, true. I mean, if the relationship ever
hits the wall, I mean, there's a way to break
through that wall, you know what I mean? If it
ever gets boring, you can... spice it up. And
speaking of spicing it up, we're going to go
ahead and talk to an intern. He's doing his internship
right now, except it's less learning and more
discount full -time employee. He says, I'm literally
the only developer in the entire company. That's
a new position. I've been handed massive responsibilities,
like it's my dream job. Spoiler, it's not. And
yes, I'm severely underpaid, even for an intern
standard. But wait, it gets better. Not only
am I underpaid and overworked, I also have to
remind my boss to actually send me my salary,
like some kind of peasant begging for coins.
This month, I asked him four days ago, and still
nothing. I've still not received my pay. Am I
overreacting for being pissed off? Should I go
for round two of, hey, remember me, the guy doing
all the dev work for scraps? Where I come from,
it's considered rude to talk about money. but
so is treating people for unpaid labor. Let me
know if I'm losing my fucking mind or if this
rage is fully earned. I find it weird that he's
the only developer in the country, in the country,
in the company. So I'm curious what the job is,
if he's the only one, right? Yeah, that is true.
I mean, obviously, like, no one wants to do a
whole bunch of work and not get rewarded for
it. I mean... Also, you don't want to have to
be the one that overminds your boss to pay you,
especially if you're the one holding the company
together. Yeah, I think if you're the only one,
I feel like you could honestly kind of strong
-arm his boss in the sense of like, hey, I'm
worth something because of the fact that I'm
the only one. And because of that, this is what
I need. And if you don't do it, I'm out. I mean,
it's kind of fucked up because he's putting his
boss in a predicament, but at the same time,
he's not even getting paid for his work. So if
his boss doesn't care, why should he care? Yeah,
and at that point, you know, you're forcing his
hand and you're also showing you're making them
at least realize your value to the company. Exactly.
All right, so now we have some mama drama. every
one is catering to my mother instead of me and
i'm sick and tired of it i'm sick and tired of
people like my dad and my brothers telling me
that i'm ruining my wedding for her my mother
when they fail to realize she's ruining my engagement
and wedding planning for me when i didn't send
her a posed selfie with my hand by my face After
my engagement. And instead sent her a shot of
Beyonce on one knee. Followed up by a close up
of the ring. She did not like that. She did not
want that photo. She wanted one that she wanted.
When I didn't ask for her opinion on dessert.
And told her the choice has been made. For the
wedding. She tried to change my mind anyway.
Because she doesn't like what I picked. For my
own wedding. When I said I'd rather her not come.
To the bridesmaids dresses shopping. because
I want this moment to be just between me and
my closest friends. Plus, moms don't usually
come to that anyway. She got very upset with
me and says mothers always show up to that kind
of thing. Then she demanded to see how I wanted
to have my hair styled and told me she didn't
like that and didn't think it would look nice
and that I should look pretty for my wedding
day. I could go on and on. I need one family
member on my side and to call out my mom's behavior
and bullshit. I'm the decider, and I'm not the
bad guy for making the choices differently than
she would. It is my wedding. I'm dreading having
a bachelorette party because my dad says, you
have to invite your mother. All mothers get invited
to those. When no, they absolutely do not, at
least not always. I'm not going to enjoy myself
if she's present. I'm sick and tired of catering
to her, and at this point, I don't want her in
my wedding. Damn, that's kind of crazy. No, I
mean, the mom definitely needs to back off and
realize it's not her day. She needs to stay in
her fucking lane. Yeah, like, she's being, like,
super extra and she is definitely trying to make
it about her when it should really be about her
daughter. Do you think that she's having one
of those moments of, like... She's trying to
have the wedding that she never had? Yeah, it
could be that. She's trying to live through her
daughter in that way. Dude, I mean, at that point,
it's like, if she's gonna, like, not... I mean,
if she speaks to her and she can't correct her,
like, attitude and correct the way she's approaching
it, like, let's say the wedding's in September
and it's on the 12th, you might tell her, yeah,
it's on the 15th. And just let it ride. Yeah,
that's what I was thinking. Like, you might just,
you know, shit, say that there's an unexpected
storm and you're having to cancel it, make something
up. Or, I mean, I think it's going to cause a
drift if her mother's there at the wedding because
her mother's not going to be happy. She might
be making faces or might be saying certain things.
You know, she might make a little comment about
how it could have been better if she did it her
way. So I don't know if her mom has to be there,
but then that would also cause a drift between
her dad and her brothers. So it's like, does
she want to put herself in a position that she
could potentially have now a bad relationship
with her immediate family because of it? Does
she suck it up? Or does she just... tell everybody,
it's my wedding, it's my day, I'm clearly paying
for it, stay in your fucking lane. Yeah, definitely
the second option, because if the family members
can't realize that her mom's being a tyrant,
then, I mean, they're just gonna have to cause
that rift in the relationship, and maybe they
can build a bridge later, but, like, she only
gets to get married once, hopefully, and... I
mean, her mom should realize that and not try
to ruin her day. And it's like, just like you
were saying, like if he's there, he might cause
a scene and like, that's just going to ruin the
day. And that's what her dog is going to remember.
So either way, it's kind of like messing up the
relationship. Yeah, no, I agree. I think she
just needs to get married, do it in a way that'll
make her happy. And eventually her and her mom
will probably make up and be fine, but it's her
day. She's paying for it. From what it seems
like, just take the L of the issues that you're
going to have. Do you. Have your wedding. Be
happy. It's your fucking day. And just whatever
happens afterwards happens afterwards. But at
least for that day, you'll be able to enjoy it.
Now we're going to go talk about chicken. Yesterday,
this customer ordered a chicken sandwich at the
drive -thru. I was the one who gave him his order
at the window. A few minutes later, he went into
the store. He told the front counter crew that
he never got his drink. My coworker called me
over and asked him if I gave him the drink. At
that time, I've taken many, many orders after
him, so I had a difficult time remembering him.
So I said, there's a possibility I didn't give
him his drink, but I was pretty sure that I did,
considering that's not something that you typically
miss. My coworker then gave him the drink. During
this time, my other coworkers were just staring
at me because I'm one of the newer people, and
I feel like they were judging me. It bothered
me so much that I asked my supervisor to check
the camera and play it back so I can know, at
least for myself, if I gave him the drink. We
checked the cameras, I gave it to him, and it
can be seen clearly. So why did he lie? Didn't
he see my other coworkers laughing at me? He
didn't feel bad that my coworkers were clearly
ridiculing me. I want to move on from this, but
I feel humiliated. Do you have any advice of
how I can move on from this? My advice, honestly,
and it's going to sound kind of rough, is just
get the fuck over it. It's not that big of a
deal. I really don't think it's that big of a
deal. And I do think that it's... It's just a
drink. It's something so small. Clearly the guy
just wanted free shit. If he went back in to
get another drink, he got what he wanted. It's
not that big of a deal. Your coworkers are assholes.
Move on. Yeah, I mean, literally, he's like,
how do you move on? And I'm like, in my head,
I'm just like, you literally go to sleep, you
wake up, and start a new day. Like, move the
fuck on. Like, bro. That's a drink. Like, that
cost your company, like, less than a dollar,
probably. And you're over here, like, crashing
out, like, fucking can't sleep, probably. Like,
you can't eat. Like, bro, come the fuck on. It's
a drink, dude. Shit. Imagine if the whole, if
the chicken sandwich would have been missing.
Oh, my God. Yeah, bro. It would have missed,
like, the whole meal, bro. Like, imagine the
fries and shit, bro, or the milk. Well, oh, my
God, bro. Imagine just going back into Chick
-fil -A. I don't know if this was Chick -fil
-A, but imagine just walking back into Chick
-fil -A all pissy because of this losing sleep
over Chick -fil -A. Not worth it. It might not
be Chick -fil -A. It might be Cane's. Who knows?
They probably didn't say my pleasure either,
bro. Probably not, bro. That's against the Lord.
Anyways. Alright. I, 27, female, just gave birth
via emergency C -section. My recovery has been
brutal, painful, And I've been exhausted. I was
in the hospital for nearly a week. My younger
brother, 24 male, came to visit a few days after
the birth with his girlfriend. While holding
my newborn, he whispered to me that he was going
to propose to her in my fucking hospital room.
I said, please don't do that. I'm in diapers
right now. I literally just pushed a human out
of me or attempted to before they had to cut
my stomach open. He got quiet. And just said,
it's just that the baby is so symbolic and it
feels like it's the right moment to do it now.
I said again that I'd rather he really didn't.
He left soon afterwards and sent me a long text
saying I ruined his special plan and I made it
all about me. Now I have some family members
that are siding with him and saying I was selfish
to gatekeep his joy. Was I being unreasonable?
Honestly, fuck your brother. yeah that's kind
of crazy bro like who who comes up with that
idea like like read the room literally like bro
do you like for real like telling you she's like
straight up in diapers and just went through
this ordeal like literally went through surgery
and you're like yeah i think it's time to propose
yeah you could have almost died you know having
The baby. But you didn't. So now I'm going to
propose to my girlfriend in front of everybody
while you're in diapers. And then it's like,
how is the girlfriend supposed to receive that?
You know what I mean? Yeah. I feel like if the
girlfriend is anyone with any common sense, she
would be so fucking embarrassed. Yeah, I mean,
I totally would be too. So I'd be like, awkward.
Like, what? Yeah, I'd be like, how about you
ask me in the parking lot? How about not here?
Because that's, ask me in front of the vending
machines. Because this is just fucking weird.
Yeah, and then it's like, the girlfriend's like,
almost probably feel like she would have to say
yes. Like, in front of the sister that's like,
literally just got out of surgery. Yeah, like.
No, I feel like you're just putting everyone
in a weird situation. Or not you, but your brother's
putting everyone in a weird situation for his
gratification or whatever the fuck he wants to
call it. Just no. Just tell him that next time
he comes into the hospital to see you, unless
you're already out, tell him that he just needs
to come alone. Not come with anybody. Definitely
not her. She can wait in the parking lot. She
can come afterwards. But... Now, speaking of
boyfriend -girlfriend, my boyfriend, 27 male,
and I, 28 female, have been together for 10 months
and we've been living together for 4 months.
This already sounds like a disaster. His best
friend is getting married this summer and my
boyfriend is part of the wedding party. When
my boyfriend went to RSVP, he noticed he didn't
receive a plus one, so he reached out to the
bride and groom and asked if I would be able
to come. They gave a bunch of what I feel like
are bullshit excuses and eventually said they
wouldn't be able to accommodate me. They said
it's not personal, but to me it feels extremely
personal. I have met them before. They have hung
out with me a few times. This has all been very
upsetting to me as I know my boyfriend is the
person I'm going to marry and it feels like his
best friend is dismissing our relationship and
disrespecting my boyfriend and myself. Two of
my boyfriend's other friends are getting married
within the next year, and I'm invited to both
of them. Am I overreacting because I wasn't invited?
I don't think so. I think it's been 10 months.
Who gives a shit? You're not going to get invited
to everything. It's been 10 months. You've been
living together for four. You're not even marinated
yet. The seasoning is barely there. I think that...
You're a little out of pocket for it. I get that
you two live together and everything now, but
if they planned everything before you, if they
had already paid for everything for each individual
head that's going to be there, accommodating
you would be very costly to them and more than
likely throw everything out of whack. Yeah, I
mean, I get that too, but... Sometimes I think,
too, it's like, well, sometimes you invite someone
and they bring someone completely random that
you never met before just to fill the spot, you
know what I mean? Yeah. But also, too, it's like,
I wonder what the excuse was, like, why they
couldn't accommodate or how soon that magician
was sent on to where they couldn't actually make
a change, like, a reasonable change, you know
what I mean? yeah there'd be a little shade there
could be like they don't really care for her
and they don't want to see them like kind of
like moving forward together so i don't know
it could be their way of like being like no we
don't want to like be with him anymore yeah i
mean it could be i i think that they probably
paid for everything like so far ahead of time
that even though yes they could make changes
they just don't want to probably pay for another
person, you know, because you do have to pay
for like every single person. You need to tell
them every single person that's going to be there.
I just feel like maybe they just didn't want
to pay for her to be fair. But then again, I
don't know. I feel like it's one more person.
It's not like it's 10 more people. So why does
it really matter? Yeah, it's a tough one there.
Without some more information, it's hard to really
say who's right and who's wrong. Yeah, I don't
know. Y 'all got to talk about that one after
the wedding, after everything. Sit down, talk
about it, see what the reactions are, and just
honestly go from there. So now we have a 19 -year
-old female. She has a friend that she really
cares about, but lately she's noticed that that
friend has been mimicking everything that she
does. She says, I dyed my hair. She dyed hers
the same exact color and the exact same week.
I start journaling. Suddenly, she's doing it
too and talking about it like it was her idea.
Even the little things, the way I text, the emojis
I use, the words I use, she picks up almost immediately.
She changed her style to match my style. She's
now into certain music that I like. At first,
I thought it was flattering or maybe just a weird
coincidence. But now it's happening so often
and with so many things that it's making me feel
like I'm losing a bit of my individuality and
it's starting to bother me. When I brought it
up gently, she laughed and said, you're just
a trendsetter. I feel bad for being irritated.
I know imitation can be a form of admiration,
but it's starting to feel a bit suffocating and
just weird that it's starting to be every single
little thing. What do you think? yeah i mean
that is uh hella weird obviously like if she's
like literally copying everything that she's
doing like like there's a certain point where
like yeah you can kind of like copy someone especially
if like you're missing that that identity for
yourself like you don't really know where you
stand or you know where your placement is or
how you can portray yourself to the world but
like It comes to a point where it's like, well,
if y 'all are going to be friends and stuff,
y 'all can't be exactly the same. You got to
have some kind of individuality. Yeah, I think
that I've seen a movie like this before and it
doesn't end well for your character. So I would
just have a really serious conversation with
her about the fact that it's very uncomfortable
for you, that you just feel like it's weird and
that... you know, you're her own, you're your
own person. She's her own person. And you want,
maybe, maybe try to help her find who she is
or what she likes, because maybe she doesn't
know who she is or what she's, what she likes
or what she's into. And maybe that's why she's
trying to copy you specifically. Maybe not. I
don't know, but like we need to have a tough
conversation with it for sure. Yeah. Yeah, like
I've seen this movie. It ended up poorly. So
have that conversation and maybe considering
cutting your losses before something else ends
up happening that you're not going to like. All
right. My girlfriend, 26, works for just a few
weeks in a brand new fast food restaurant. She's
from a different country and she doesn't speak
English that well. There's this guy who's been
hitting on her and trying to teach her swear
words at the fast food restaurant. My girlfriend
tells me about it and we laugh and brush it off
of him just being childish and try not to think
about it. Last night, she was closing and she
had to work until 2 .30 in the morning with that
guy and another guy. It was her first shift that
was that late. During her break, she complained
about how bad she wants to go home, how tired
she is, and that she wants to just hop in the
shower with me and that's it. Out of the blue,
around 1 in the morning, she calls me. And she
says, hey, is it okay for me to hang out with
my coworkers after work? I was very surprised
and asked who those coworkers were. She then
told me it was that guy and the other guy that
she's working with tonight. She doesn't know
the name of them because she can't pronounce
it. My reaction was at the middle of the night,
what the fuck are you going to do then? She replied,
just talk a bit and hang out. I said, no, absolutely
not. We already had plans and I was looking forward
to that shower. this is where i got very sus
when i picked her up i confronted her about the
whole idea i thought we had plans who are these
guys what were you going to do in the middle
of the night where were you going after a few
minutes she finally told me what the plan was
they were going to go to a park and she was going
to smoke weed and get high for the first time
with them this made me very angry she lied to
me and she tried to hide the fact that she wanted
to go smoke weed with basically two random dudes
that she doesn't know plus she knows that i've
never been a fan of marijuana now i'm getting
blamed for not trusting her while she knows that
i fully trust her and i had to explain myself
again that i don't trust the other guy's intentions
because she doesn't see when a guy is flirting
with her and she doesn't see a guy's intention
the way another guy sees a guy's intentions um
so I do feel like it's kind of weird that she
wanted to stay out until like 2, 3 in the morning
or whatever it was to just go get high with two
dudes that she just started working with. And
especially if she's new to marijuana, I don't
think that's the smartest choice. But then I
feel like they probably lied to her and told
her that it'll make her feel a completely different
way. I don't know. This to me feels like... I
don't want to say they could have potentially
been setting her up for something, but it's not
impossible. Yeah, I mean, especially, like, you
have no idea who these people are. Like, you
barely know them. Like, even if it is, like,
weed, like, it could be anything else in there
that they could be using to try to inebriate
you. And then next thing you know, you're in
a bad situation. You can't get out of kind of
thing. And no one's there to help you. I mean.
The thing is, nothing good is really happening
at 2 o 'clock in the morning, you know what I
mean? Yeah, especially in the middle of a park,
and you're the only girl there, and it's two
dudes. I mean, my thing is, why lie about it?
That's my biggest thing, is why lie about it?
I'm assuming they really got into her head to
the point where she goes, yeah, I really, really,
really want to do this, but I know that he will
absolutely lose his fucking mind. Which, I mean,
I feel like he's entitled to because, no, 2 .30
in the morning at a park? No, absolutely not.
Nothing good is going to come out of that. Nothing
good. Not only that, he can't really be that
oblivious, right? These two dudes, they want
to introduce you to Lee. Come on, you're really
going to put yourself in a situation like that?
Come on. Yeah. And then it makes me also wonder
where is she from? Because like you said, she's
not from here. She's from a completely different
country. She doesn't know English very well at
all. So where is she from that this isn't something
that she has to worry about wherever she's from
or it's common or so uncommon or maybe, you know,
a new thing for her because now she's in America
and that's a thing here. So it makes me wonder
where she's from that. she's not realizing how
bad this could actually be. Yeah, for me, it's
just like, you gotta think smarter. Like, especially
when it's that late at night, too. And you just
don't know these guys. Alright, we have one more
left. My girlfriend had sex in front of her friends,
and it makes me feel uncomfortable. This is something
I just recently discovered, so forgive me if
I'm being a bit hasty. Basically, I was hanging
out with my girlfriend at her friend's house,
where it was me and six of her girlfriends. I
forget exactly how it came up, but one of them
mentioned something along the lines of having
watched my girlfriend have sex before. This kind
of caught my attention, since it's something
we hadn't done in front of people ever before.
I asked her in private afterwards. when we got
back to her dorm. She told me that one night
she and her ex got absolutely shit -faced and
had sex in front of all of her friends a couple
years back. Personally, I disagree with that
kind of behavior and that kind of sex act, but
it's her past sex life, so I have no grounds
to judge. Typically, I am not really super jealous
over exes since they usually, more or less, are
out of the picture at this point. But this one,
I still get that gnawing feeling and I think
it's because one of her friends and it's her
friends and what they've seen. I just feel uncomfortable
being in a room where literally every single
other person there has seen her be that intimate
with another guy and not with me. And it quite
honestly makes me feel like an outsider in my
own relationship. While she's not in the wrong
for doing this, it was prior to me, I kind of
wish she had maybe told me about that beforehand
so I could... make an informed choice as to whether
or not i want to be in a room with all these
people that have seen her naked sleeping with
somebody else at the very best at the very least
i kind of wish she could have at least told them
not to bring that stuff up with me right there
in a previous conversation am i overreacting
here is this a normal boundary for me to have
or am i being controlling or what's your thought
i would i would get uncomfortable I would get
uncomfortable as hell. If I was around my girl
and friend group and they just started talking
about that time that they saw her getting fucked,
I would be so uncomfortable. Even if it was like
an accidental little slip up, I would feel mad
uncomfortable. But I don't think it's that big
of a deal to where you can't hang out with her
and her friends anymore. But I get why he's uncomfortable
with what happened though. I mean, the thing
is, it's like, like, you, at that point, it's
like, you got to consider what you want, right?
Because, like, obviously, it depends on whatever
you're comfortable with. Also, too, it's like,
like, how recent is this? Like, is it, like,
a couple months ago, a year ago? Like, there
could be a, you know, a big difference between
that time frame as well, because... We don't
know how, like, serious they could have been
or, you know, how involved this guy might still
be in her life kind of thing. And I don't know.
It's super awkward for me, bro. This chick is
for the street. And I don't know if I can build
a meaningful relationship with this person. I
feel you. I mean, I agree. Like, I don't know.
I've been drunk plenty of times. I've never had
sex in front of anybody. especially my friend
group, and I've never had anybody in my friend
group get drunk and just start doing their thing
in front of me. So I agree, and she probably
is for the streets, but not only that, I feel
like whenever I'm in a, if I were to be in a
new relationship and I know what these people
know, I would absolutely be like, hey, y 'all
know what y 'all know. Can we not? mention this
can we not make it a thing he doesn't know about
it yet or she doesn't know about it yet can we
just not bring that up because things are gonna
get fucking weird and things got fucking weird
yeah bro I don't know they had to have been like
you know a little black down or something cause
me personally I've never been drunk enough to
where I would do something like that you know
what I mean Yeah, and he said, let's see, there
was a part where he said, I asked her in private
conversation when we got to her dorm. Dorm, she's
a college student. So, again, she's a college
student. She could be, what, 20, 21, 22, 23,
24, who knows? So, I don't feel like that happened
that long ago. I feel like within the last, well,
actually. he did say a couple years back that
could still be two three years back so yeah i
mean maybe they're not dating that long maybe
they've been together for a year or a few months
maybe two years but i mean either way i feel
like it would still be common courtesy of you
to tell your friends to keep that one shut just
for this reason that now shit is very weird between
the relationship and now she doesn't want to
ever Have your friends around because all he's
ever going to picture now is them looking at
her naked, getting fucked. Yeah, exactly. It's
like, yeah, exactly. If I was there, like, killing
them, it definitely would cross my mind a couple
times. It's just like, that's just not something
you can get out of your head. Yeah. Now he's
just forever going to be uncomfortable. So I
think it's one of those things of maybe just...
hang out you and her maybe just if she wants
to go out hang out with her friends she can go
hang out with her friends you do you you don't
have to be around her friends um or or if it's
just too uncomfortable just like you might just
have to end the relationship and move on yeah
and before you get with the next person just
ask her hey have you ever had sex with anybody
in front of your friends That I should know about.
It's the number one way to break the ice. But
that is pretty much it. That's a wrap for us.
It didn't get as weird as last time. Episode
1, we talked about some really weird shit. So
it didn't get weird as last time, but there were
definitely some weird things in that. At the
end of the day, all I'm going to say is don't
go to the park at 3 o 'clock in the morning to
get high with some strangers. Do not have sex
in front of your friends. Don't do that. And
if your mother is crazy and wanting to take over
your wedding, give her and everyone else a gentle
reminder that it is your day, you're paying for
it, and that's that. They can either respect
your boundaries or they can't. But again, thank
you all for listening to Speak Your Chaos. We're
everywhere that you can... Listen to your podcast,
whether it be Apple, Spotify. We're on YouTube.
We're on Pandora. We're literally everywhere
you could possibly listen to your podcast. Y
'all have a good night and be safe.