*Intro Music, heavy guitar and drums, fade in*
Kurt: Welcome back, everybody, for session five of Tales by Daggerlight, where we play Daggerheart.
What did we do last time? Does anybody-?
John: We did not walk into-
Geoff: What did we do Seraphina?
What did we do?
*Laughter*
Kurt: Ahhhh… no.
Jenn: We did the thing.
Kurt: Yeah.
Kai: Seraphina and the Warriors.
Kurt: We'll get into the recap a little bit later. But before we get started,
let's take a moment to hear from one of our heroic sponsors, Luck Factory Games.
*Upbeat guitar strumming and light drums.*
Jenn: This episode of Tales by Daggerlight is powered by our friends at Luck Factory
Games, the board game café where adventures come alive.
Right here in Concord,
North Carolina, Luck Factory isn't just a place to grab dice.
It's where we first
rolled into Daggerheart. We found our party and kicked off the story you're hearing
now. The shelves are stacked with games,
the tables are set for quests, and the
community is ready to welcome you with open arms and maybe some snacks.
Check out
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*Dramatic rock style orchestral*
Kurt: In every city, every kingdom, there's a story that never sees the light.
The one that falls through the cracks, bleeds through the floorboards, and smiles when the sun finally goes down.
Where heroic promises, broken oaths, bad decisions, and desperate prayers all sit at the same table.
Six heroes emerge out of the edge of the shadows. Ciaran;
Ciaran (Luke): No matter what, there will be consequences.
Kurt: Zeph;
Zeph (Kevin): That asshole needed to die.
Kurt: Pi N’kuwa;
Pi N’kuwa (Geoff): You said we were talking, but you're not saying a
lot.
Kurt: Seraphina;
Seraphina (Jenn): Look, I have the voice of an angel, we all know
it.
Kurt: Severian;
Severian (Kai): It's not a murder… if… he’s
food.
Kurt: and Basagar;
Basagar (John): We need to get to the castle.
Kurt: Together, they walk the line between mercy and ruin, rolling bones against hope and fear in a world that wants them
obedient, or worse, dead. So lace your boots, check your blades, and hold your breath.
Meet us at the blade's edge.
Once this story starts, it doesn't let you go.
This is Tales by Daggerlight.
*Music Fades*
Kurt: Previously, Wilhelm returned from the brink of death babbling about First Blood and
the visions of the city collapsing, while Father Ulrich Vane nearly exhausted himself
keeping Wilhelm alive. You brought the beta prince down to a sewer safe house in
the grates of Gutterrun, and there you found Prince Manny, overheard a hit planned
for Prince Rhydian, and when a guard found you, Zeph dragged them down, and Basagar
ended them swiftly. On his body, a tracking chit stamped ‘M - Zeph Virel’, signed ‘E.
D.’ Then Basagar and Severian saw the same memories from Zeph's blood.
King Alric
promising a pregnant woman named Linessa her child would be hidden.
And Zeph went
cold because, “Linessa is his mother's name.”
While talking to Wilhelm, he told you about his love interest named Angelica.
She was the reason he was down in the Hasp market in the first place and was very concerned about her
well-being.
Seraphina bought Issava’s loyalty, for now, and told him to go check on Angelica in
the Brine and Barrel Tavern.
The Virelian Guard were fast approaching, and Zeph led
you through the sewers with guidance from Pi N'kuwa, and you chose Lowthorn as your
exit. The tunnel narrowed into thorn-choked stone as it forced you onto a brutal
150-foot ladder and halfway up green oozes, acid slime that clung and burned, fell
down from the sewers above.
Cutting them didn't seem to solve it,
each one split into
smaller copies dropping below like the sewer was reproducing problems on purpose.
As
you scrambled you finally saw the source;
a massive heaving slime mass, filling the passage, shedding pieces of itself into the flow;
patient, endless, and hungry. You burst into Lowthorn, filthy and scratched, heartbeat still sprinting, only to find the district
strangely normal on the surface.
Guildfolk, artisans, and hurried patrols chasing bigger crises than you, which made you briefly invisible.
You took that sliver of luck and ducked into the Rusted Piper, Lowthorn's notorious fight pit and gambling hall, hoping for
cover, air, and a plan.
Instead, Seraphina's smooth-talking got you inside, and you got mistakenly booked as tonight's entertainment because the real
band didn't show. So that's where you ended.
Backstage in a roaring arena and tavern introduced as Seraphina and the Warriors,
a band with no instruments smelling like sewer water, trying to look confident while the first blood still hangs over the
city like a curse with teeth.
But we open the scene in the “B” Green Room with Seraphina and the Warriors.Ser
Severian (Kai): Am I to understand that you have people that fight each other for fun and other people watch?
Seraphina (Jenn): Yeah.
Severian (Kai): For fun?
Seraphina (Jenn): Yeah.
Severian (Kai): Not because they need to survive.
Seraphina (Jenn): No, just to blow off some steam.
Severian (Kai): Hmm. Interesting.
Seraphina (Jenn): And you can make money, too.
Severian (Kai): Very interesting.
Seraphina (Jenn): People get pretty drunk and the tips get pretty good, though, by the end of the night.
Zeph (Kevin): Seraphina-
Seraphina (Jenn): Mmhmm?
Zeph (Kevin): What exactly is a ballad battle?
Seraphina (Jenn): A ballad battle?
Zeph (Kevin): Isn't that- a battle ballad?
Kurt: Battle Ballad
Seraphina (Jenn): A Battle Ballad
Zeph (Kevin): - is what you have agreed to partake in?
Kurt: A battle ballad is a new entertainment event here at the Rusted Piper.
Geoff: Does Seraphina know what we signed up for?
Jenn: No, but she figured if it involves needing to sing good and capturing the eye of the crowd, she’s got it.
Zeph (Kevin): So like I said, what? What?
Seraphina (Jenn): Well I’m assuming there’s other performers,
and-
Ciaran (Luke): Like the ones that called out sick.
Seraphina (Jenn): I mean they said that they did but I don't know.
But, yeah, uh, I don't know.
We'll find out!
Zeph (Kevin): We'll find out ?
Seraphina (Jenn): Yeah, you know how like when you took us through the sewers and we found out how horrible it was?
Zeph (Kevin): Oh I knew ahead of time. If you had you asked I would have told you exactly what we were in
for so.
Seraphina (Jenn): Yeah, well.
Zeph (Kevin): I mean they're sewers what did you expect?
Seraphina (Jenn): Oh no, but not green things
that was weird.
Zeph (Kevin): So just a thought could you maybe go ask-
Seraphina (Jenn): Yeah!
Zeph (Kevin): -what this particular form of entertainment entails?
Jenn: Sure. So yeah, she pops out of the green room and either looks for Korga or Sil and asks for a
little bit of more information.
Seraphina (Jenn): So that I can make sure that my performance is what the people want to see for tonight.
Kurt: You see Korga off in the distance.
He looks like he's talking with a bunch of attendance and patrons of the Rusted Piper.
The first person you see is Sil.
He looks like he's kind of getting ready.
He's putting on a vest. And
it looks like he’s getting his showmanship garb down.
He sees you coming up and goes;
Sil (Kurt): Oh, haha, Seraphina? Are you ready?
The stage is about to open.
Seraphina (Jenn): Yeah, I just had a quick question because, like, when I've performed here before, there were definitely people
in the pit. And I was on the stage, and I performed while people were fighting.
I just was checking, like, is that what's going on tonight?
Sil (Kurt): Have you never done a battle ballad before?
Seraphina (Jenn): No.
Sil (Kurt): *Chuckles*
Seraphina (Jenn): So I was just like, you know, I want to make sure that I give the people the performance that they
came for.
Sil (Kurt): Oh, right. Well, yeah, a
battle ballad, you're going to be going up against the house band.
Seraphina (Jenn): Okay.
Sil (Kurt): They're going to be on the stage opposite you.
They're still going to be fighting in the ring, but whatever.
Seraphina (Jenn): Okay.
Sil (Kurt): They're going to, they're going to perform,
then you're going to perform,
then they'll be a give and take.
So it's-
Seraphina (Jenn): Okay. So is it like an applause thing?
Like, so the audience, whoever the audience likes best wins?
Sil (Kurt): Sure. Yeah.
Seraphina (Jenn): Is there, uh, is there a,
is there a prize money?
Sil (Kurt): There's always prize money, dear.
Seraphina (Jenn): Now you're talking my language, silly
Sil (Kurt): You'll get a cut of the take.
Seraphina (Jenn): All right.
Je: And she gives them a little pat on the face and goes;
Seraphina (Jenn): Thanks, sweetheart.
Je: And she turns back and goes back in.
Sil (Kurt): You're on in five. Make sure you're ready.
Seraphina (Jenn): Okay.
John: I think from there, as she's walking away, we cut to Basagar looking at Ciaran
as he's a large, slightly larger than a Doberman, dog,
clarity, who's like double-coated and he's kind of like sitting as like a dog would sit.
And Basagar again still looks the same color,
whereas this time there are speckled spots,
but those speckled spots are his like mushroom cap color.
And he's looking and he kind of holds up his paws a little bit.
He's like;
Basagar (John): So you mean like this?
You want me to sit like this?
And that will-
Ciaran (Luke): A little bit further back on your haunches.
John: And he leans back.
Ciaran (Luke): There you go. That looks almost natural enough to not freak everyone out.
Basagar (John): I see.
Ciaran (Luke): Almost.
Basagar (John): And then I hold a hat in my mouth and ask for money?
Ciaran (Luke): You don't ask for money.
You just look at them with like upturned eyes.
Yeah.
Basagar (John): Like this?
John: And he's going to try to make puppy dog eyes.
Ciaran (Luke): Sure.
John: Can I roll? See how well I-?
Kurt: Absolutely.
John: What is this? A presence roll?
Jenn: I feel like Bas would be kind of good at doing puppy dog eyes, right?
Kurt: 100% Your own presence, yeah.
You are trying to charm.
John: I have a negative one to presence.
Jenn: Oh.
John: And a dog or household friend beast form does not have any pluses to that.
Kurt: I'm going to give you a… uh roll with advantage.
*Laughter*
John: Shenanigans.
Geoff: Crit!
John: Can I do my companion D8 advantage?
As a companion, I help an ally.
I can roll a D8 as my advantage died instead.
Kurt: Oh, yeah! Absolutely.
John: Alright, great.
Jenn: Nice.
John: Okay. It's a, it's not a crit, but it's a dirty crit?
Kurt: Yeah?
John: Because I rolled a 12 in a total of 12 with the D8 and the D6,
or D12. So I have 24 for a 23.
Kurt: You heard it hear first
folks. We're coining it a dirty crit.
John: A dirty crit.
*Laughter*
John: That is a 23 with
hope.
Kurt: A 23, you are yeah
you almost forget he's Basagar for a second.
Jenn: So like this you start pulling money out of your pocket to put in the hat.
You're like
‘What am I doing?!’.
Ciaran (Luke): That's- yes, just go out like, now, like that,
yes.
Zeph (Kevin): That’s not bad. But remember, dog who cannot talk.
Basagar (John): Woof.
Ciaran (Luke): There you go.
Ciaran (Luke): Perfect.
Seraphina (Jenn): I mean I’m-
Geoff: That’s gonna terrify people but alright.
Seraphina (Jenn): I mean honestly though, having a dog that talks might be kind of cool.
Zeph (Kevin): Oh hey, so what did you find out?
Seraphina (Jenn): Um-
Kurt: A knock at the door,
it is Sil,
Sil (Kurt): Ooh uh right. I know you guys aren't ready yet, um,
just want to poke my head in and
make sure you guys are aware.
Do, do you have a… somebody to introduce you?
Zeph (Kevin): Sure.
Sil (Kurt): I didn’t know if you wanted somebody from the house to do it for you, but uh, just making
sure.
Seraphina (Jenn): Sil if you want to do it for us, sweetie, that would be great.
Sil (Kurt): Oh I’m doing it for the other band,
I can’t do you, too.
Seraphina (Jenn): Aw.
Sil (Kurt): Sorry.
Seraphina (Jenn): Ok.
Basagar (John): Woof.
Sil (Kurt): Cute dog.
Seraphina (Jenn): Thanks!
Sil (Kurt): What’s wrong with his head?
Seraphina (Jenn): He’s special.
John: To specify, I do not have a mushroom cap, with the red
at the white-
Kurt: Oh, got ya. Ok. Not a dog with a mushroom head?
John: -are spotted throughout my body.
Kurt: Ok, I thought you were like a dog with a mushroom head.
John: So I'm like a furrier Dalmatian with the size of, like, a Great Dane.
Kurt: I got you.
Luke: With a really weird coloration.
John: Yeah, for sure.
Severian (Kai): I wish to compete in the fighting for fun.
Sil (Kurt): What? What?
Severian (Kai): I wish to compete in the fighting for fun.
Sil (Kurt): You're not part of the band?
Severian (Kai): I am with these people, but I wish to compete in the fighting.
Sil (Kurt): As a solo act?
Severian (Kai): I am a warrior from a far land.
Seraphina (Jenn): Yeah, he wants to get in the fighting ring.
Sil (Kurt): Huh.
Seraphina (Jenn): Trust me, it'll be interesting.
Sil (Kurt): By yourself?
Severian (Kai): Should I kill them or-?
Sil (Kurt): Kill them?!
Severian (Kai): Do we go that far?
Sil (Kurt): It's never to the death here but uh- if they don't yield I'd say it's on them how far you take
it.
Severian (Kai): And if I eat them?
Sil (Kurt): What?! No no you don't-
Severian (Kai): After they're dead of course.
Sil (Kurt): No!
Severian (Kai): Oh. Well a little less fun, but-
Sil (Kurt): What have you gotten yourself into Seraphina? What?
Seraphina (Jenn): It's good to have friends.
Luke: Ciaran is curled up in into in a ball in the corner of the room, hiding his face.
Kurt: Yeah, Prince Wilhelm is kind of sitting there and he's got a hood on like a duck down real low. Sil
goes;
Sil (Kurt): Um, oh, well yeah if you want to enter the fight as a solo competitor that that's
that
could be… give me a second. .
Let me make a round around the crowd, see if I can get some bets going.
Severian (Kai): Is that a yes on the killing?
Zeph (Kevin): If they yield, no killing.
Severian (Kai): Explain the concept of yielding.
Seraphina (Jenn): That's usually when they throw their weapons down.
Basagar (John): They beg for mercy.
Seraphina (Jenn): And they say, ‘You won, you're stronger than me.’
Severian (Kai): I've never seen such a thing.
Zeph (Kevin): Well, you might.
Basagar (John): You need me to join you?
Are you doing this alone?
Severian (Kai): It's a thrill. I'm excited to go.
I can do it alone.
John: I gave you the puppy dog look.
*Laughter*
Geoff: I feel like it has the opposite effect.
*Laughter*
Kurt: You hear the crowd starting to murmur and get loud that
people are starting to get
seated. You can see through a little window in the door that on the other stage there are some what looks
like members starting up. They're,
they looks like they're setting up some type of instrumental.
They got this big bass lute that's kind of like setting on like a big barrel of like a drum that
they're using to to reverberate the low frequency
and there's some other guys that looks like they're tuning their their hand guitar or lyre, whatever they're doing.
But it looks like they're they're prepping themselves, for sure.
Ciaran (Luke): How badly do we want to win?
Seraphina (Jenn): We'll win.
Ciaran (Luke): How likely is that really?
Seraphina (Jenn): I don't know. It depends on how terrible you guys are.
Ciaran (Luke): Let's assume we are.
Seraphina (Jenn): Okay.
Ciaran (Luke): It's a safe assumption.
Zeph (Kevin): I think it is.
Ciaran (Luke): Do we wish to win?
Pi N'kuwa (Geoff): Were there any rules? What happens if we lose?
Seraphina (Jenn): Oh, then we let Severian kill the other band.
Pi N'kuwa (Geoff): Oh, okay. Seems like low risk.
Seraphina (Jenn): I was kidding. I was kidding, Ciaran.
Zeph (Kevin): You can't say these things in front of him.
He'll take it seriously! Look, he's already sharpening his swords.
Kai: One hundred percent took it seriously.
Zeph (Kevin): Like Severian?
Pi N'kuwa (Geoff): Severian's just eyeing up the other band.
John: I put a paw on his sword and just lower it.
Ciaran (Luke): Do we want to sabotage the other band?
Severian (Kai): I don't have to kill them if they yield.
I've learned this.
Seraphina (Jenn): I mean, if you have a way of sabotaging the other band.
Ciaran (Luke): I'm not saying I don't.
Seraphina (Jenn): I just, Ciaran, I find it disappointing that you don't have more faith in my performing skills.
Ciaran (Luke): Your performing skills are fine.
It's when you signed five others up.
Pi N'kuwa (Geoff): I am with Ciaran on this.
Ciaran (Luke): Sorry, six others up. Wilhelm, you're not getting out of this.
Prince Wilhelm (Kurt): No, no, no, no, no.
I don't even have my flute.
Severian (Kai): You would.
Seraphina (Jenn): You want me to-
Ciaran (Luke): Does the other band have a flute?
Kurt: No.
*Laughter*
Geoff: Aww.
Kurt: I mean, I guess they could.
You never know.
Kai: Severian is preparing to fight, and he's going to use three hope for the No Mercy ability.
*Laughter*
Kevin: Hell yeah.
Kai: Which gives me plus one bonus to my attack rules until my next rest.
Kurt: Nice.
Prince Wilhelm (Kurt): If you get me a flute, I'll gladly try to play along.
Ciaran (Luke): I'll go see what I can acquire.
Prince Wilhelm (Kurt): Okay.
Luke: And I'm going to take a few, like just a little bit to activate my Uncanny Disguise spell
to change my appearance completely-
Kurt: Makes sense.
Luke: -into a fairly just plain looking person,
the exact type of person you would expect to be a patron at this type of establishment.
And I'm just going to walk right on out.
Kurt: Okay.
Luke: And make a beeline towards Sil or Korga, whoever I can see.
Kurt: Mmhmm. Yeah, you see Sil.
He is making his way down to the fighting arena,
kind of climbing down the, like a rope ladder that they've rolled out for him to climb down.
He's got his master of ceremonies vest on.
It's like he's getting ready to address the crowd.
And you can see what looks like a half orc sitting in a booth watching over on the center side.
He’s got big tusks that stick up from his bottom jaw. But
he would be the most approachable at the moment.
Ciaran (Luke, Irish accent): Excuse me, sir.
Korga: (Kurt): Hey, Hey, go sit down.
The shows about to start.
Ciaran (Luke, Irish accent): The band over there, they’ve been asking for instruments.
They didn’t bring their own.
Korga: (Kurt): Who, the Iron Strings?
Ciaran (Luke, Irish accent): No, the other one.
Korga: (Kurt): Fucking rookies. What do you need?
Ciaran (Luke, Irish accent): Uh, flute, harp, whatever else you can acquire.
You never know.
Korga: (Kurt): Alright.
Kurt: You see he reaches into his vest pocket and pulls out a piccolo and answer you.
Korga: (Kurt): That’s about all I got.
Ciaran (Luke, Irish accent): Thank you, sir.
Korga: (Kurt): Yeah I love the flute.
*Laughter.*
Korga: (Kurt): Don’t break that, you hear.
If you break it you’re paying for it!
Ciaran (Luke, Irish accent): I would never, it’s not mine.
Korga: (Kurt): Bring her right back when you’re done.
Ciaran (Luke, Irish accent): I’ll be sure they do.
Korga: (Kurt): Eh, alright.
Kurt: Ok, you go back in with a little pickle flute.
Ciaran (Luke): Ah, Wilhelm, this is all I could acquire.
Do not break this, please.
Kurt: He plays it and the super high, shrill sharp of the flute comes through.
*Flute octave plays of warming up instrument.*
Kurt: He goes *dododododoup.* His pitch and everything,
it’s surprising. He’s like;
Prince Wilhelm (Kurt): Oh, thanks! Well I’m great at jamming
so, well, I can just kind of vibe with you. *Chuckles.*
I’ll just follow along.
Kurt: You hear, out in the distance, Sil
addresses the crowd. The rumbles come to a stop to listen to Sil's famous introductions.
You hear;
Sil (Kurt, with a mircophone echo): Lords and ladies, scoundrels and sinners,
sharpen your knives and raise your mugs.
For tonight, the stage trembles with steel and sound.
From the shattered back alleys of Lowthorn,
from the graveyards of melody and murder,
I give you the scourge of silence itself,
the Iron Strings!
*Crowd cheering*
Kurt: And everybody goes through as they start jamming on their lyres and lutes,
and there's a guy who's like *(makes drum roll effect)* on the drum.
He continues;
Sil (Kurt, with a mircophone echo): On the war drum, the breaker of bones,
the thunder that walks, Garruk! *(Drum solo sounds)*
He goes into like little drum solo.
*Drum beat in background*
Kurt: Everybody starts cheering. Women are going crazy with over Garruk.
He's, obviously, the drummers are the best in the band.
*Crowd cheering*
Kai: That's right.
Kurt: Obviously.
Sil (Kurt, with a microphone echo): Plucking death from the strings of a razor wire,
the quiet shadow of a small, sharper than steel,
Needle Nyssa!
Kurt: Like a fiddle starts like *(brum bidi bidi brum of fiddle notes)*
going crazy. Sounds like these guys have the advantage here.
This is the house band.
*Crowd cheering noises continue.*
Sil (Kurt, with a mircophone echo): From the depths of the infernal throat
where song is sin and breath is battle.
The voice that commands the armies,
Veyra Shardvoice!
Kurt: And you hear us, just this loud, shrill of a voice come in.
*Singer hits high note*
Sil (Kurt, with a mircophone echo): Blowing brass like cannon fire.
The dome who shakes rafters and blinds the bold,
Fennic DeBrass!
Kurt: And you hear like a trumpet or like a bugle start going through.
This is a heavy metal ska band is what it's going to be turning into here.
*Ska music picks up in background*
Kevin: Nice!
Kurt: Yeah, and then finally the last one.
Sil (Kurt, with a mircophone echo): And sawing out dirges of your souls with bow and bone.
The maestro of macabre, Dralith the Bonebowed!
Kurt: You hear like a harp,
like a lute or a hand harp just like *(High pitched do do do do)*
just start going crazy. It's a- it's an odd cacophony,
but it is metal sounding. *(band music plays in background)*
It is hype. The crowd is loving it.
The drums start *(Doom di di dtch doom doom)* going off.
*Band sounds of singer riffing, drums, ska trumpets, and more pick up in background.*
Kurt: And he kind of looks back towards your green room.
He goes, and he's like;
Sil (Kurt, whispering): Come on!
Kevin: Zeph kind of pushes Kua and Beta Prince William up onto the stage in front of him
and
kind of gestures for everyone else to to come up.
Luke: And behind them I slip into the crowd while still disguised.
Jenn: Oh!
Geoff: Oh you dirty bastard.
*Laughter*
Jenn: So once they all get on the stage,
Seraphina gives it just a moment
and then, unlike usual she actually walks out onto the stage.
She's not flying. But it's a very slow, controlled walk
and you guys see a change in her.
So she has the whip that she used against
the oozes in her hand,
and she strolls out and walks directly to the end of the stage,
looks across at the other band
and just cracks her whip.
Kurt: You hear the crowd goes silent
as people are looking at you
and you hear;
Crowd (Kurt): Seraphina? Seraphina’s back!
*Audience begins cheering.*
Kurt: And you hear like a slow roar of applause
and, it's not as much as the Iron Strings-
Jenn: Mmhmm
Kurt: -but you are recognized.
Jenn: Mmhmm.
Kevin: Zeph steps up.
Zeph (Kevin): Lords and ladies! You know her,
you love her, she needs no introduction.
I'm going to shut up
so she can do her thing.
Seraphina and the Warriors.
*Scattered applause, light string instrumentals begins building anticipation.*
Kurt: A few clapping. They don't…like;
Crowd (Kurt): Seraphina and Warriors, do you know?
Kurt: Like, it's like more, like…
you know there are folks that are Seraphina fans
that are cheering. But, this battle ballad
starts to ensue. You see that the
Iron Strings sits back, stops. Sil
looks like, goes;
Sil (Kurt): All right now, Seraphina and the Warriors,
you're up!
*Light crowd applause and cheers.*
Kurt: If you want to act this out,
you know, we definitely, I would absolutely love it,
but we can…
Kevin: I don't know if I want to chase away our audience this early on.
*Laughter*
Kurt: Yeah, okay. But if you want to narratively describe what you do.
But first off, whoever is in the band at the moment.
Severian, you are being escorted down to the fighting ring by one of the attendees here.
But who is actively performing?
Geoff: Kua.
Kurt: The four of you?
John: I mean, I am on the stage… As a
dog.
Kurt: So the four of you.
Luke: And Wilhelm.
Jenn: And Wilhelm!
Kurt: And Wilhelm haha.
Geoff: The five of us.
Jenn: Don't forget Willie.
Kevin: And Manny.
Kurt: Don’t forget Manny.
Jenn: Oh, yeah. Well, Manny's still just perched on my shoulder.
Kurt: It's kind of like a weird
size chart.
*Laughter*
Jenn: Mmhmm. Well, and I would say when we were in the back room,
she would ask Manny, you
know, like, did, Like, so what's your thing, Manny?
Like, what, you know, like,
your a Prince, what else do you do?
Manny (Kurt): Oh, I don't really have any musical skills.
But I can, I can make noises
with, uh, with my, with my legs? Um,
yeah, that's, unfortunately, they don't really make instruments at
my size.
Seraphina (Jenn): I mean, you could use your legs.
Do you, uh, have any affinity with Lumara? Jenn:
Lumara? Lumora?
Kurt: Yeah, Lumora.
Jenn: Lumora.
Kurt: Lumora is the magic energy
around everybody that you guys can tap into.
Manny (Kurt): Well, I can't really wield it
like I've seen you guys.
But, yeah, I've dabbled.
Seraphina (Jenn): Well, if you know how to make
little light sparkles or anything like that,
feel free.
Manny (Kurt): I think I could make something work.
Seraphina (Jenn): Okay.
Jenn: So since we're going first,
I am...
Geoff: Before you start, I have a question.
Jenn: Okay.
Geoff: How far across is it
between the two stages? Would you say it's close?
Kurt: So you're on other sides.
So that is far.
Geoff: Far range, okay, yeah, thank you.
Kurt: Yeah, so.
Geoff: It ruins my plan, but answers my question. *Chuckles*
Kurt: Yeah, so I know I
have a battle map sitting out there
with that for the fighting arena,
but we have to do our best
to actively describe what we are doing
for the listeners, because obviously
the listeners can't see the map,
that I have a battle map
in the center of the table
that is going to be
depicting where….
Geoff: Don't let Kurt lie to you,
check our social media. We'll have some pictures up,
and you can keep up on the episode.
Kurt: Yep. There you go.
*Chuckles*
Kurt: Okay. Seraphina and the Warriors.
Let's hear it. What you got?
*Audience cheering*
Jenn: So I will roll for my
performance, basically. I'm going to sing…
It's a song that she
has written, like, in the past.
But she's going to update it a little bit
as she's going and kind of change
a few lyrics here and there
and, she's not rapping, but she's going full rap battle
and talking shit about the other band.
*Laughter*
Kurt: Okay, all right.
Jenn: So I'm going to spend a hope.
Now I have a question,
with your experiences can you only use
one on a roll or can you use both?
Kurt: As long as you have
hope to spend, you can use as many as you can….
as many as makes sense.
Jenn: Okay, well, I mean, we only have two,
but actually kind of both of them
would fit. So her first experience
is Femme Fatal. So like I said,
she tightened up her corset.
She, you know, fixed herself up,
so she's full cupcake mode
at this point. And the other experience
is Silver-Tongued.
Kurt: Okay. Yeah. Well, yeah, I think that works.
So go ahead and spend your two hope.
Jenn: Yep.
Luke: Can I also spend a hope
to help from the crowd
by getting them kind of riled up,
stamping my feet, and just like,
kind of working to get them
at least somewhat energetic for this performance?
Kurt: Okay. Well, before you do,
I want you to make a presence check
to see how well this works
before you can spend a hope
to help her out.
Luke: That's a 10 with fear.
Kurt: I'm going to say that
you try to gather the troops,
gather the attention, and try to
get them roused up to cheer for
Seraphina and the Warriors. But it just,
nothing happens out of it.
Luke: I'm not trying to get them to cheer
just to, like, as she begins
to kind of stamp along
just to get like a rhythm going.
Kurt: Ok, yeah, you feel like people are just
clapping along just for the sake of it,
just the end. They hear you doing it
and said like;
Crowd (Kurt): Oh, are we supposed to be doing that?
Luke: Better than nothing.
Kurt: But it's not like, it's not
genuine cheering. But you can
get advantage or I think
you roll your D6.
Luke: I roll to help.
Jenn: So 19 with hope.
Luke: Plus five.
Kurt: Plus five with hope.
Jenn: That would be 24?
Kevin: Yeah.
Jenn: Yeah, 24 with hope.
Kurt: Okay. What is, what's everybody else doing in the band here?
Kevin: I think if she's going like
epic, like rap battle, dissing the other band,
I think Zeph will be back in the background,
like hype-manning her up. Like ‘Ooohhhh!’
Jenn: Bouncing and stuff!
Kevin: I'm like trying to hype everything up.
Kurt: Yep.
Geoff: I'm gonna turn this into a multi-dimensional performance here.
Kua is going to jump up into,
I assume there's some rafters or something similar?
Kurt: Yeah.
Geoff: And I'm just going to start pounding on the ceiling,
pounding on the rafters in time,
trying to like shift the attention around
make people look at different things
and try and get the audience.
Kurt: The offsets, nice nice.
*Drumming in the background.*
Kurt: Yeah, sweet.
Jenn: Ok, alright.
Kurt: What’s the puppy dog doing over there?
Geoff: Pup dog!
John: I’m currently wearing the hat.
I imagine it’s like a very old, stained, like semi-tall top hat.
Just kind of cocked to the side,
and what I’m doing is
as soon as they start going,
and I'm kind of like thumping my tail to the beat,
I notice that as soon as you take off it
up towards the ceiling, I think this is my cue to leave the stage.
And I'm going to spend a stress.
It's almost looks like my fur is shedding,
as like a husky would kind of just like start,
like they're just walking, and fur is just kind of coming off.
As I embody the element of air,
I'm going to hop off the stage
and just kind of like jump around tables.
And like not even land on the tables,
just kind of like hop around
and like to the beat of the music.
Kurt: Okay.
John: And like hop around and just kind of like,
I don't know, do something.
Geoff: And dance and like, put your paw up.
*Laughter*
John: Yeah.
Kurt: Okay. Sweet. Yeah, so this song goes off,
and it doesn't take long before the crowd starts,
like, you hear them stomping.
And with the help of… the assistance of Pi N'kuwa up in the rafters,
and Basagar, your jump on the tables,
and Ciaran, you are kind of, like, slowly just egging them on from the background.
You have our B-Real hype man.
*Chuckles.*
Kai: You didn't get Wilhelm yet.
Kurt: Yeah, um no.
Luke: I want to see him riffing on the-
Kurt: Yeah, Wilhelm kind of like steps up
and he like looks and he
really kind of takes in what's going on.
And you see him like,
ooh, his shoulders drop a little bit,
but he… you know what?
Let's see what he's going to do.
*Laughter*
Kurt: Okay, it wasn't terrible. He's got some nerves to shake out here a little bit
but he goes. He kind of waits for it
and he's kind of like waiting for the right moment to
to start playing his pickle flute.
And he like goes through,
he's like;
Wilhelm (Kurt): This really isn't the right vibe for… um,
whatever!
*High airy notes start playing*
Kurt: And he goes, like, blows into it hit
the first time. And the first notes kind of sharp
and he goes, then he kind of dresses it down
as everybody's like ‘Ewahuh!’. But he finally gets into his rhythm
and starts, like, going into
a nice little pickle accompaniment
to a freestyle rap battle,
since that's the only instrument
is a pickle at the moment (chuckles)
and beats. Pickle and beats!
Kevin: Pickle and beats.
Geoff: Pickle and beats!
*Laughter*
Kurt (slower): Pickle and beats. Hold on. That might be
the-
Kevin: That sounds like a fine little
salad.
Kurt: That might be the episode.
Luke: Pickle and beats.
Jenn: Pickle and beats!
*Laughter*
Kai: Thank you for that.
Kurt: Overall, an incredible success for your first song.
The Iron Strings over there
are kind of like, they're nodding
a little bit and they're
kind of like… you can see them like
whispering back and forth and
they got, as soon as the
sounds sounds like your song is like
coming to an end. They interrupt you
by a loud opening power chord *(Brumm).*
*Electric guitar chord sounds*
Kurt: Which drowns out, and everybody instantly *(Rahhh!!)*-
*Crowd cheering*
Kurt: -starts going crazy. As they are
strumming, they're playing.
*Electric guitar riff of chords begins, attempting to be rhythmic, but is off beat with stomping from crowd*
You see like some of them are
going through and looking at each other
as they… as most of the
people are still like stomping to the beat
of your song and it's kind of like
throwing them out of rhythm
a little bit, where they start to….
you see them look around
as they are getting a little
frustrated and flustered.
*Guitar stops, just stomping continues*
Kurt: They eventually start… you…. they start
going through and when the crowd
doesn't feel it you start to hear some boo’s
a little bit.
*Crowd booing, Zeph and Ciaran chiming in as well.*
Kurt: Yeah. As everybody starts, like
stomping, *Sera - phina, Sera - phina,* ***Sera—*
*Chant the each part of her name in time with stomps.*
Kurt: They start going through. As you see Sil
walks out into the middle
of the fighting ring and
goes;
Sil (Kurt, megaphone): All right, all right, calm down,
calm down, everybody. That was a great
opening set of numbers from
Seraphina and the Warriors and the Iron Strings,
everybody give them a hand!
*Crowd cheering and applause*
Kurt: And everyone starts clapping and hooting
and hollering. There's plenty of names
start shouting Seraphina and the Warriors.
He's like;
Sil (Kurt, echoing like a megaphone): Now, without further ado, let me introduce you to your entertainment
down on the ground floor.
Gather around, you Gutterborn, Highborn,
and Halfborn. The Rusted Piper rings
not only with song tonight,
but with steel and screams.
Two troops, I mean, no,
I'm sorry, three troops enter the pit,
but only one walks out
to drink tomorrow's ale. First,
hoping…. mm I reading this right?
Hoping? Hopping?! Oh. Hopping from the swamps of the sorrow and slick,
the stink of the blood and the bog water.
They leap, they croak, and they kill.
Give it up for the croaking crushers
and the rib cracking raiders.
The swamp spawn storm. The Ribbets!
*Crowd cheers*
Kurt: Apply named, as you hear the crowd;
Crowd Chants (Kurt): Rib-bits, Rib-bits, Rib-!
Kai: Frog legs for dinner.
John: Severian’s totally eating.
Kurt: Some frog folk jump out,
kind of get, come through the entrance to the fighting ring here.
I don’t know, is this-?
Geoff: That's me.
Kurt: So you need to be on stage.
So the stage is kind of like raised on the other side of this platform.
Geoff: I'm like up in the rafters.
Kurt: Yeah, you're up in the rafters.
Jenn: Yeah someone’s totally going to eat frog.
Kurt: I know I was way off mic when I did that.
So sorry if you couldn't hear me.
I should be picked up by somebody.
But the Ribbits start coming through.
There's, looks like there's he's like;
Sil (Kurt, echoing like a megaphone): And now let me introduce our fellow contestants,
our challengers. These are …uh….
Kurt: He starts flipping through some of his notes.
Sil (Kurt, echoing like a megaphone): I don't have a, I don't have an introduction for you.
What do you want to call yourselves?
Kurt: And like a timid voice kind of come
like kind of like peeks out the door,
he goes;
NPC Character (Kurt, stage whispering): I didn’t know we were supposed to have an introduction,
I’m sorry! Uh, I don’t know!
Just call me anything!
Kurt: What is the challengers name?
You guys get to pick it.
Kai: Anything.
Kurt: Anything?
*Laughter*
Kurt: Thank you. Sil goes;
Sil (Kurt, echoing like a megaphone): Alright, for tonight, for tonight,
they, um, they are an enigma.
They are unknown. Their, their,
their talents, uh, are a mystery to us all. Uh,
they don't want to let anybody know what they do. Uh,
here is Anything! (Connection bell
dings)
And it goes;
Anything (Kurt, whispering): No, no, no! Ugh.
John: I feel like they are Galapos.
*Drum beats*
Kurt: They're Galapos? Yeah. They are
four turtles.
*Laughter*
They kind of like roll out into their shell
and they kind of like get into place
and they're stop and get into different poses.
What weapons are they holding?
Kevin: Oh, you've got to have a bo staff!
Others: Nunchucks!
*Laughter*
Jenn: Yeah.
Kevin: Pair of sai, right?
Jenn: No, 100%. They're all wearing colorful masks too, right?
Because they're enigmas.
Kevin: They're enigmas!
Kai: We did just have ooze in the sewer.
*Laughter*
Kai: You know?
Jenn: That's true.
Kurt: (Chuckles and sighs) Oh.
Kevin: You know, Severian kind of resembles Shredder a little bit.
Kai: Oh, it's true. I was about to ask if there's a rat.
Kurt: There is a rat. It's Meesta. It's your rat.
John: Meesta is still here. Don't worry.
He's still here.
Geoff: He's just munching away on-
*Drumming picks up*
Kurt: But yeah, so the Anything sets up.
They start getting ready for battle.
He goes;
Sil (Kurt, echoing like a megaphone): Oh, but that's not all, folks.
We got a surprise mystery for you.
A last second guest. He is part of the Seraphina and the Warriors,
chosen to step here and do battle amongst the music.
Welcome to the stage… shit I don't even think I got
his name…um introduce yourself!
Kai: The human spider
Sil (Kurt, echoing like a megaphone): The Human Sp-
Kai: Not really…. remember that from Spider Man 1?
Kurt: Yeah I do.
*Laughter*
Kurt: I was rolling with it.
Kai: It's like the lamest name ever.
Kurt: It’s like what- human spider?
Kai: Yeah! Ok, but…. Severian the Briar Warrior.
Sil (Kurt, echoing like a megaphone): Severian the Briar Warrior!
Kurt: You walk out and everybody goes-
*Crowd Gasps*
Kurt: ‘Oh, shit!’
Kai: Everyone’s like ‘He’s scary as fuck’.
Geoff: As he finishes his sentence, I want to bang on the ceiling again.
Try and pick up a rhythm again.
Kurt: Yeah, (Do dodo do dodo do
dodo do dodo ch ch)
*Drumming in background*
Kurt: As it goes through.
John: As Severian is being introduced, I'm going to do a wild touch and perform a slight gust of wind to make
his cape billow.
*Laughter*
Kai: I do have a big, yeah.
John: As I like hop over. I just kind of hop over the pit and jump across to the other side
and like just like a little wind just go whip, bellows his cape.
Kurt: Okay so, Severian if you want to put your mini on the battlefield where you would like to, you have the
Anything group on the other side,
the four Galapas turtles, on one side. Each ready with their chosen weapons of choice.
And the Ribbits, so aptly named, on the other side. In the middle, in the fray, is Severian.
You guys are up for the next song. Sil
looks at you as he starts… as he makes his way over to the rope ladder leaning over the the wall
going down into the sunken pit.
Sil (Kurt, echoing like a megaphone): Seraphina and the Warriors, you're next with your tune.
As soon as-your first drum will enact the start of this fight.
Kurt: And he goes and he starts climbing up out of the pit.
Jenn: Alright. So I'm going to use a Troubadour song for this one.
So I'm going to do an epic song, which I can also make a target temporarily vulnerable.
I'm going to hit their singer.
All: Woah! Oh!
Kurt: Okay, what does this look like?
Jenn: So this epic song, she sings about battle and about warriors clashing and the sounds of war and the, you know,
just this like epic.
*Seraphina’s light singing of a melody plays in the background*
Jenn: And like her voice just fills this whole room.
It's just you guys can almost hear like the stone walls rattling as she hits some of these notes.
Yeah, so I'm going to do that.
Geoff: And I, as a help action, as you go to start off, do just like *(do do of Kua stomping on rafters)* and jump out of the
rafters in front of the Iron Strings.
Kurt: Mmhmm.
Geoff: And just slam down on the ground for a *(crash)*
right before you start.
Kurt: Okay!
Kevin: I was going to say and this time around instead of hyping up, I think Zeph also is going to spend
a hope for advantage so it'll be the better of our two roles.
This time he's going to drop back off stage-
Kurt: Mmhmm.
Kevin: -so that he is hidden from the crowd.
He's going to draw Elyndra
and as the song begins to crescendo and as she begins to invoke this feeling of battle, he's going to begin
slashing and creating a light show above the stage with the sword slashes.
Jenn: Okay.
Kurt: Yeah.
Jenn: So I am going to use one more hope to use my Silver-Tongued experience again.
Kurt: Sweet!
Jenn: All right, so if you guys want to roll your d6, I'm going
to… Dang that was almost a crit!
So 27, unfortunately with fear
by like one point. It was a six and a seven.
And that also mean their singer in vulnerable.
Kurt: Vulnerable, yeah. The song that you sing and Wilhelm is still falling into the rhythm. It
looks like his nervousness, his anxiety has passed.
He's getting into it.
*Piccolo melodies begin*
He's like walking up with you kind of leaning onto your shoulder and like playing the pickle
and as you sing, as the lights are flashing around from Elyndra and the beats and the intimidation from N’kuwa. What
are you doing for this second performance
Basagar?
John: I think as I land from jumping across the pit, I'm walking around as a dog,
and I think what happens is Basagar, would you say there’s candlelit stuff all across?
Kurt: Oh yeah, yep.
John: I think what Basagar is going to do is as he jumps down, he's going to walk around for a moment,
and the fire is going, like, kind of like a mix of wild touch is, it says that I can instantly
start a campfire or stuff, you know, something like that.
I would like to instead draw the fire from all the candles lit
and I will mark a stress to convert my shape, my element into fire
as like the hackles around my dog form just starts to ignite into flame.
As I'm walking around, just kind of like looking, I'm not, I mean, dogs aren't necessarily looking for prey, but they're,
you know, they still have that instinct.
Jenn: That's stalking.
John: I think he's just stalking around closer to the enemy's stage.
Kurt: Okay. You kind of like as you're moving around everybody's like
Crowd (Kurt): Woah! *(Oohs and Aahs)*
Kurt: Just the awe of the fire coalescing on you as most of the fire and the candles extinguish, kind of darkening
the room a little bit which makes the lights even brighter and put more on a light show.
It is a astounding success,
but as that first note was struck the battle ensues.
You see both teams kind of stop back, and they look like they're judging each other and trying to anticipate the
first move. Not one of them wants to move first, but you look and you see one of the Ribbits, the
one right in front of closest to N’kuwa.
He is a springy little fella.
You see him. He's got what looks like a sword and a shield, and he bends down really quick, and he
jumps up super high as he jumps across the map, lands next to the one Galapas with, we'll say, probably the
purple mask and a long stick, the staff.
As he goes in, makes an attack as the Galapa’s moves to make the block. And the sword goes *(Shunk)* right through
the staff as *(crshh)* he stops in.
Now he's got two shorter sticks.
Looks like he's going to go in for a barrage attack *(Du du domp dom dom), s*tarts hitting him and flipping around. Probably saying
some weird snarky comments.
But, yeah, the battle ensues.
You can move all the contestants right on the front line.
So, Severian, what are you doing at the moment
as, looks like everybody except for the shaman as fuck looking one.
But, yeah, he stays there.
Kai: Sevarian's like in shock for a second because he's never seen people fight this way.
He's just used to people like feral tearing each other apart, doing whatever they can to win.
He's not used to like ‘Let's get down in an arena and face each other and then charge.’
So for a second, he just stands there before he lets out this like maniacal laugh and then just lunges at
the first closest person.
Kurt: Okay.
*Piccolo trills again*
Kai: It was probably the guy on the left.
It was a turtle.
Kurt: Yeah.
Kai: And I have to move to hit him.
Kurt: All these minis I have and I don't have any turtles.
Jenn: Can I retcon one thing?
Kurt: Yep!
Jenn: Before we left the green room and came out to perform,
she would have given you guys a little pep talk that you guys are going to do such a great job.
Don't forget your rally dice.
Kurt: Oh, yeah.
Kai: Very helpful.
Jenn: Uh-huh.
Kai: Oh, the other thing. Can I say I had a bet on myself before I went down here?
*Laughter*
Kurt: To win or lose?
Kai: Oh, to win.
Kurt: Oh, to win?
Kai: Yeah.
Kurt: Okay
Kai: I only have a handful of gold.
It's probably nothing.
Luke: If he didn't have time to do so, while disguised, I will do so.
Kurt: Okay.
Kai: On who?
*Laughter*
Luke: Oh, on you.
Kai: Oh, sweet.
Kai: Okay. All right, I'm attacking.
Kurt: How much are you betting?
Kai: Just a handful. That's all I have, yeah.
Kurt: Okay
Kai: I'm sure the odds are pretty bad for me to win.
Luke: I'll cheat if we need to.
Kai: 16 with fear to hit.
Kurt: That does hit. Go ahead and roll your damage.
They will spotlight next.
Kai: It was a one, but I have the card Not Good Enough, so since it's a one, I get to reroll!
Eleven physical damage.
Kurt: Eleven?
Kai: Mm-hmm.
Kurt: Nice. I'll say that is major damage on the turtle guy as you jump in.
He kind of like shrieks a little bit, but he enacts.
He's like
Galapagos fighter (Kurt, British accent): Fuck you, mister!
Kurt: And he like takes out his size and he goes in for like a couple of
jab attacks as some enemies going up against you.
The Galapas guy attacks you with his weapons.
That is a 12 against your evasion.
Kai: That barely misses.
Kurt: Barely misses. You kind of dodge out of the way, kind of push it around.
Kai: I’m down on all fours.
He's not used to somebody doing that.
Kurt: Yeah, he's not used to that.
But as you dodge out of the way, you put yourself in a vulnerable position for the Ribbit warrior
that runs up behind you with a battle axe.
It's going to strike down.
I will give myself advantage with that fear.
Oh, thank god. That was a natural one.
That is a 16 to hit.
Kai: That hits.
Kurt: That is 12 points of physical damage-
Kai: I’m going to reduce that by one.
Kurt: -to you as the Ribbit comes down, slashes you right in the back,
and he is going to mark a stress to give you a stress.
So he forces a stress upon you.
The rest of the battle map, they're fighting each other.
Swords clings, things going on.
The Iron Strings start *(Schpoom)* tuning in on top of everything.
Now you guys are playing at the same time and you like somehow it's making this odd kind of metal and
like fantasy rock song that is kind of meshing
because they're vibing with you and you see that the lead singer of the Iron Strings, they the band keeps look
at her to like, ‘When are you gonna start singing?’.
And he goes to… or she goes to step into the mic and kind of pulls back a little bit, looking
down at Seraphina and just kind of pauses for a moment
and you hear the crowd go-
Crowd (Kurt): Ohhhhhh!
Kurt: -just afraid to make a sound but the band kind of picks up a little harder
and you see the band, the Lumora around the instrument starts glowing as one of the guy holding the hand lute
or lyre, kind of like looks up and he's strumming and you can see he's activating some type of runes on
the side of it *(woop whoop whoop woop woop woop)*. And he goes ‘Ahhh!’
and he strums this power chord as a blast of Lumora *(schumf whum whuf whum wchm)*
kind of like forces its way over at you.
And this is going to be probably right at Seraphina.
That is a 18 against your evasion.
Jenn: Yeah, that hits.
Kurt: That hits. Okay, so as this what looks like blast of Lumora energy in like a musical note *(schumf)* comes flying towards
you, you get hit. Oof,
that is 24 points of magic damage.
Kevin: I Am Your Shield.
Kurt: Okay. Yeah.
Jenn: Holy crud.
Kurt: It's this blast. Well, that gets hit as you feel yourself get hit.
And with I Am Your Shield,
you take that damage. Do you mitigate that?
Kevin: Yep. I spend half of my armor to knock that to zero.
Kurt: So you take zero damage as you bring your sword *(schumph)* and almost like catch the magic with the sword.
Kevin: Slicing down and another one of those energy arcs just kind of intercepts and causes, right before it would hit Seraphina,
this collision that like interacts with each other and sort of explodes harmlessly right in front of her.
Kurt: Welcome to the battle ballad, where this is a literal battle of songs, a battle of the bands, amidst a battle
on the field. They… it is everything as you see as the other band members are starting to prepare and do
their, you see the the bassist. He turns his his bass- or his bass drum around
and as you do it you see this odd looking, almost like a cannon of energy.
And he's like *(duh dumph dumf)* and you see this like *(Whommmmmffff)*. And you hear the crowd like;
Crowd (Kurt): Oooooooh!
Geoff: I'm so excited that I'm on their side of the field.
*Laughter*
Geoff: So this is the drummer doing that?
Kurt: This is the drummer, yeah.
Geoff: Beautiful. I would like to pierce his drum-
Kevin: Ohh!!
Goeff: -right before he climaxes to that final note.
Kurt: Yeah, go ahead and make an attack.
Jenn: Are you doing it with an arrow or your horns?
I can just see you charging across with your- Geoff:
I actually have a short sword that I will use.
I'm going to use my rally dice.
12 with fear.
Kurt: Oh that does not succeed.
Kevin: Let's make that a 15.
Kurt: 15 does. Yeah, 15. I still get the fear, right?
Yeah. A 15 succeeds as you go through. He sees you coming down.
He stops and he like, points, he starts he's starting to point the cannon right at you
goes;
Drummer (Kurt, muttering): Fuck!
Kurt: He points but just as you get there you pierce the drum.
As you pierce the drum, the energy releases.
I'm going to spend two fear to activate that.
*Crowd cheering*
Kurt: You hear the the rip of the of the canvas hide or might even be some type of leather
hide or animal hide drum.
But as the energy that was built up releases, you get *(dwoosh),* you get blown back.
Geoff: Worth a shot.
Kurt: You take 21 points of magic damage. As you jump in *(pmmf)* as you hear Sil
on the side goes;
Sil (Kurt, on a megaphone): Oh *(chuckle)* wow. Hey, we got some dirty play going on here, guys.
You're not allowed to cross the stage, but who do we care?
It's entertaining.
Geoff: So I've been here!
Kurt: But you get blown back to a far range. So
you get blown back into the arena.
Geoff: Aw.
Kurt: Right in the middle.
Geoff: In the middle?
Kurt: In the middle *(booof). A*s you land *(crshhh)* on the ground, the frog next to you looks back, looks like;
Ribbit warrior (Kurt): *Frog screeching sound*
Kurt: And is going to attack you at the moment.
But for the time being, spotlights on y'all.
Geoff: I want out.
*Laughter*
Kai: Understandable. Have a nice day.
Geoff: I'll hop back out. Yeah.
Kevin: I got nothing that can reach that far.
Somebody do something about those assholes.
Kurt: As you jump out, this is not necessarily an opportunity attack, but he was swinging on
you anyways right as you landed.
Geoff: Okay, yeah.
Kurt: So he is going to swing away.
Geoff: And so since he did swing, I'm going to shoot him back
once-
Kurt: Okay.
Geoff: Yeah, do your thing, and then I will shoot back.
Kurt: He swings for a 13 against your evasion.
Geoff: That meets it beats it,
so-
Kurt: Does a meager 11 points of physical damage as you get hit by what looks like a halberd,
but it's almost like a mace on a long stick *(schbmff) a*nd he gets slammed.
And it looks- like you hear a large croak of happiness from this ribbit.
Geoff: Sweet. So I shoot him in the face.
Kurt: Yep. So you jump out of the arena, or are you shooting before you jump?
Goeff: No, I jump up at least to the railing, and then loose it at him.
Kurt: Like mid-jump?
Geoff: Yeah. Come on.
Kurt: *Chuckles*
Geoff: Unfortunate. So that is...13 again.
Kurt: 13 is the difficulty for these guys-
Geoff: *Cheers*
Kurt: -as you jump in. With hope?
Geoff: With hope.
Kurt: Okay. Roll that damage.
Geoff: Eight points of physical damage.
Kurt: Okay. Eight points of physical damage. Severian,
what are you doing?
Kai: I am going to launch myself back at the froggo who just attacked me with battle axe.
*Sounds of crowd: Woah!!*
Kurt: Okay.
Kai: And attack him back. 14 with fear.
I cannot roll with hope. Oh, I'm going to use a slayer die on this too.
Kurt: Okay.
Kai: 13 physical damage.
Kurt: 13. You turn around. You hit this ribbit.
This is like a big hulking ribbit.
He looks at you. He's like a toad folk. But as you *(crshuwsh)* kind of stab into him,
you see him. His eyes kind of turn and go.
Ribbit Warrior (Kurt): *Blech*
Kurt: And it looks like he opens his mouth real wide.
And his tongue *(thdunk)* shoots out and grapples you.
Well, maybe. Oh! That's a natural 20.
*All players make dissapointed sounds*
Kurt: No, it's supposed to be
yay!
Players simultaneously: Oh, yayyy! Woo! Woohoo.
Luke (sarcastically): Yay.
*Laughter*
Kurt: You guys did it wrong.
Natural 20, that is a six plus. One plus one.
So eight points of-
Players: Yay!
*Laughter*
Kurt: Eight points of tongue damage.
Jenn: Ew, don’t want.
John: Gross
Kevin: That's a real tongue lashing.
Kurt: *Laughs.* You are now grappled by this tongue
as he kind of like wraps it around. He almost like pulls you in close to him.
The rest of the battle, I'm going to just
roll some dice here. See what happens.
The battle starts, is undergoing, or underway as the ribbits and the gala start
attacking each other. You see swords being smashed, punches and kicking.
The turtles kind of like, one of them kind of like... pulls into its shell and rolls around and gets kicked
by the other turtle. And as that turtle comes through, smashes one of the frogs in the face.
*Crowd cheers*
Kurt: The frog with the stick, the staff, that hit Pi N'kua.
Go ahead and lay him down *(indicating to the minis on the battle map)*.
Nope, the frog. That one,
yeah. Yeah, so the one that hits you with the mace, he goes unconscious by a turtle shell *(doof)* as he gets
hit in the face.
Kevin: It’s like Mario.
*Laughter*
Kurt: Yeah, as the Galapa pops out of his shell, he goes...
Galapa Warrior (Kurt, surfer accent): Totally awesome, guys! Sorry. There was a deep sigh there, but I'm not going to say what
I thought I said because I'm pretty sure that's copyrighted.
Geoff: I'm pretty sure we're not allowed to do that.
*Laughter*
Geoff: But you all know what we're thinking.
Kurt: Yeah.
*Laughter*
Kai: Horse-a-booyah?
Kurt: Yeah.
*Laughter*
Kurt: There we go.
Kevin: Horse-a-booyah.
*Chuckling*
Luke: That's awful.
John: There's the title episode.
Kurt: Well, that's sticking. Spotlight's back on y'all.
Luke: How is Severian looking? Does he look like he still has a good chance of winning?
Kai: It's 50-50. I’m pretty beat up.
Luke: As soon as it looks like he's...
Kai: I’m not losing. Just to clarify.
Luke: *Chuckles*. Yeah… as soon as it looks there’s a chance of him losing,
I am just preparing myself to shadow step in and reign of blades
the rest of them.
Kurt: Oh!
Kai: Yeah buddy.
Kevin: I’ve been waiting for that.
Geoff: Heck yeah.
Jenn: I just had a question,
how far apart are the two stages?
Are they close?
Kurt: They are far
Jenn: They are far?
Kurt: Yes.
Jenn: Okay
Kevin: I can't do shit. Literally I Am Your Shield right now,
that's it.
Geoff: So I would like to kind of try and go back into the battle of the bands thing.
Kurt: Mmhmm.
Geoff: And I’m going to turn to the crowd since I'm kind of standing on the rail by the crowd.
And I'm going to start drumming on the rails in front of them.
Kurt: Mkay
Geoff: And I'm going to try and like *(duh duh duh) a*nd point at the other band.
*Rhythmic drumming in call and response pattern.*
Geoff: I’m going to do it like five or six times trying to get the whole crowd into it.
Like get them shouting as they point their hands at the band.
And the last time that I do it, I'm going to cast Vicious Entangle-
Kurt: Oooh, yeah.
Geoff: -as I charge up my own magic music attack!
Jenn: Nice
Kevin: Oh yeah!
Kurt: I'm here for it.
Geoff: And I'm going to roll better this time.
Kurt: Yeah, you will.
Geoff: 20 with fear.
Kurt: Sweet. You target a specific person, right?
Geoff: So I'm going to go after the fiddle.
And is the brass close to the fiddle?
Kurt: The brass is not.
Geoff: Okay, who would be the closest together?
Probably the guy with the...
Jenn: The two two strings?
Kurt: The leer. Yeah.
Geoff: Okay, so the leer and the fiddle would be close together?
Jenn: I think the other one
was like a bass?
Kurt: Yeah
Geoff: Okay, I'm going to target the fiddle.
And then I'm going to spend a hope, because I succeeded, to target an additional creature next to them within very
close range of the target.
So they are both going to be restrained.
Kurt: Ooh!
Geoff: But only the fiddle will take damage.
Kurt: Okay.
Geoff: But they will both be restrained.
Kurt: Mmhmm.
Geoff: Maximum damage. So nine points of physical damage.
And then both of them are restrained.
Kurt: Yeah. So nine points of physical damage to one of them.
Yeah.
Geoff: So Vera- no, sorry. Needle Nissa.
Kurt: Yeah, Needle Nissa.
Geoff: The fiddle, yep. And then whoever, the Bold Bone,
was that the other one?
Kurt: Yep.
Geoff: So he is restrained. Nissa took the damage.
Kurt: Okay.
Geoff: And as this blast comes out, since there's no plant life here, I take the wood from the stage underneath them
and wrap it up around their bodies.
Kurt: Nice
Kevin: Sick.
Kurt: The wood kind of solidifies them into place.
They can still take actions on their turn.
They just can't move. I'm going to spend a fear for, the fiddle player is kind of like going through as
this happens, still trying to play like kind of like stopping kind of looking at everything and go and it's like
trying to start strumming a little harder
and as you do you see like the Lumora around her is like *(whooooo)* going through and making a a beeline to,
I'll say you attacked you attacked her.
So like she she uh she comes over and hits you with a magical music blast.
Dude, this dice is so hot.
Players: Aw man!
Geoff: Oh, come on.
Kurt: Like, wow! I'm going to have to start and make sure you guys see this.
Geoff: I’ll just mark that armor
off.
Kurt: You can verify it if you want to.
Geoff: I believe it.
Kurt: *Chuckles.*
Geoff: The unfortunate thing is I don't have to.
Kurt: Thank you. The bad part, if I was rolling open like I usually do, I'd be rolling like utter dog shit.
Geoff: It's true. It is true.
Luke: That’s how it works.
Kurt: Natural 20 for those that- since I didn't say it. This one's gonna hurt.
This is a a fiddle blast
that is 18 points of magic damage.
Luke (Sarcastic): Yay.
Kevin: Still stout.
Geoff: Yeah, still major damage.
Kurt: Okay.
Geoff: With, I'm using-
Kurt: Mark an armor?
Goeff: -my last armor.
Kurt: Okay, so you- what does that look like?
Geoff: As my uh final armor is broken? So I am wearing just like leather armor,
very basic, kind of humble.
And I think as the waves of this fiddle kind of rip through the material, it kind of
tears at the seams and starts shredding it apart, kind of falling to pieces.
The inner lining kind of revealing an almost regal lining, kind of a gold inlay,
like a velvet almost, on the inside,
but the outside's rough and rugged, and it just kind of rips apart at the seams as that
wave courses through my body.
John: I'm going to, because I've kind of just been stalking, looking at the fight, making sure
that Severian's okay, noticing that you've fallen back in and out of the pit.
I've been kind of near, I've been closer to the enemy stage.
I am going to spend three hope to transform into a different beast without marking a stress.
Kurt: Nice:
John: When I do so, I increase the stat of my choice.
And I'm going to convert into a wolf.
Basically what Basagar was, but just a lot bigger, a lot bulkier.
And I'm going to go towards Kua and try to just grab him and bring him towards
my other companions on the stage.
Kurt: Okay.
John: So yeah, I’m not doing… other than that I’m going to truly just bring him
to the stage.
Kurt: Sweet.
Pi N’kua (Geoff, strained): Get me out of here!
Kurt: You grab him, bring him back.
Kai: How bad does this guy look that's grappling me?
Kurt: Pretty bad.
Kai: Okay, I want to try to finish him.
Kurt: Okay.
Kai: 20 with fear.
Kurt: Ay!
Kai: 11 damage.
Kurt: How do you end this frog?
Kai: I cut his tongue off.
Kurt: Ewh!
*Laughter*
Kevin: Oh!
Kurt: *(Schwunk)* The tongue severs seamlessly. So satisfying,
just *(schwww)*. As you see his head *(schdunk)* snap back, just like a blood split *(swpuft),* like sprout
arcs over his head.
Kai: Nice.
*Laughter*
Kurt: Yeah, he takes the knee, kind of stops, goes;
Frog Warrior (Kurt, screaming): *Huuueehhh!*
Kurt: Frog screaming? You know how, like, when frogs are, like, inflated and just, like, *(high pitched squeal). O*h, yeah,
knock that guy down *(indicating to battle map)*. One of the turtles kind of looks at you, stops- or sorry, Galapas, looks
at you. Doesn't know what to do,
spins his swords *(Scwoomph woomph woomph)*. Kind of goes through.
Kevin: They're kind of on the younger side.
Kurt: They are, yeah. They're young Galapagos.
They're definitely young.
Kai: They're inexperienced.
Kurt: Yeah, they're in their second decade.
Yeah.
*Laughter*
Geoff: I didn't know this was a dance routine.
*Laughter*
Kurt: He does like a flip, and as he does a flip, his swords kind
of come out, but this turtle never uses his swords.
He always kicks people for some reason.
*Chuckles*
Kurt: We'll go through a roundhouse kick to you. But that's a eight-
Kai: That’ll miss.
Kurt: -which misses as this roundhouse kick comes around. You dodge out of the way *(boof)*. He kind of lands in
a superhero pose. I guess I should have spent a fear for that action.
He missed, so it's back on y'all.
Again, the bands are going crazy.
The fiddles kind of like taking care of, the drum is out of commission.
Looks like the brass player is kind of looking around, getting ready to do
something. You see him put what looks like a mute in his trumpet.
And as he pushes it in, you see it start to like glow with energy *(whooommpphh)* getting
ready for an attack.
Kevin: Has Seraphina been singing this whole time?
Jenn: I assume.
Kurt: Yeah.
*Trumpet blared.*
Kurt: During everything, music's going on.
Jen: So I have a question.
So there's one turtle left or is there two?
I'm sorry- galapas
Kurt: There’s four galapas left, and two frogs.
Jenn: Oh, so it's the frogs that have gone down.
Kurt: Yeah.
Jenn: So the galapas are still up.
Kurt: Yep.
Kai: I did some damage to that one guy, though.
Luke: Just say the word, and I'll knock them down.
Kurt: And they have been damaged from each other,
like the ribbits and the galapagos were fighting each other.
Jenn: Yeah, but it’s the band though.
Kai: Yeah, did they take any more swings at each other?
Kurt: Ribbit, one, two is down, and three is down.
Kai: Oh, wow.
Kurt: So one of them hasn't taken any damage.
John: I’m assuming this one in the back that hasn't.
Kurt: Yeah. He's looking like getting ready to-
Kai: Fours down as well?
Kurt: -throw some magic on. The turtles are, they've all taken some damage from everybody.
But go ahead.
John: I have advantage on sprinting.
So that's truly just what I'm doing. Would I
have made it to the other stage at this point?
Kurt: Yeah.
John: So, yeah, I'm back with Kua, and I'm kind of like, I honestly just kind of like throw you onto the
stage close to whoever's… probably Seraphina.
Geoff: I just kind of roll off the stage and hide behind it a little bit.
*Chuckles*
Pi N’Kuwa (Geoff): Fuck. That didn't feel good.
Oh, that's going to creak in the morning.
Jenn: So to be within close range of the other stage, I would need to be what,
like middle of the battle?
Kurt: Close is 10 to 30.
So yeah, you would have to go about middle of the pit.
Jenn: Okay. If somebody else wants to do something, they can.
Geoff: But you could also, you could fly above it.
Jenn: Yeah, yeah, no, that's exactly what I figured.
So are we still performing the second song or is that kind of-?
Kurt: I'd say, yeah. So it's kind of like a jam at this moment.
It's more of like a the last surviving band wins.
Jenn: Okay. Seraphina's gonna look down at, I guess, Zeph and you were probably right there by the stage too, right?
John: I’m at the bottom of the stage,
yeah.
Geoff: I'm also there now.
Jenn: Yeah.
Geoff: Just kind of in a puddle.
Jenn: She's gonna kind of look at all of you guys and then like flap her wings and fly up and out
over the battlefield so that I can get within close range.
Kurt: Okay.
Jenn: Now, whose instruments are still functional?
Kurt: The fiddle, the brass, the vocalist.
Geoff: I only damage the drum. ,
Jenn: Well, the vocalist is vulnerable.
Kurt: They could still sing if they wanted to, but they've just been humiliated,
so they really don't want to.
So they are there just kind of like the Eight Mile when like he goes to rap, but he can't.
So he just kind of like just chokes.
Jenn: So they're just standing there with like spaghetti on their shirt.
Yeah, I gotcha.
*Chuckles*
Kevin: The trumpet was powering up an
attack.
Jenn: Okay. All right. So I have a question with the instruments.
So like with the drum, he was able to like pierce the drum.
Is there a way to attack the instruments? Or do you have to attack the person?
Kurt: You can. so if it's a spell that requires a target , or like a creature then it has to be a
person, but-
Jenn: Well, so I was going to use my whip-
Kurt: Okay.
Jenn: -to like whip the instrument
basically out of his hands
and if possible whip it and knock it into, down into the pit.
Kurt: The pit? Okay. Yeah. Go ahead and make your attack roll for your whip.
Jenn: A crit!
*Glitz sound*
John: Nice!
Kurt: Hey! That's y'all's first crit for the night, right?
John: I know.
Kai: That's the first one. Yeah.
Kevin: And it was double 12s.
Kurt: In two episodes.
Jenn: Yeah, it was double 12s, too.
Kurt: I don't think y'all crit last episode either.
Oh, two 12s. That's like, that should be like a super crit.
Kevin: It's an uber crit.
Jenn: God, right?
Kurt: Sweet. All right. This is your moment to tell.
Jenn: So, like I said, I mean-
Kai: Clear a stress mark a hope.
Kenn- she's basically just trying to whip the instrument out of his
hand. The one that was like, you could tell he was powering it up and just like fling it down into
the pit, right under everybody's feet where they're scuffling and stuff, you know?
And she kind of looks at the guy and goes like this at him.
Kurt: And he stops as the trumpet gets ripped out of his hands.
*Trumper blares, whip smacks, trumpet cuts off.*
Kurt: And *(Schkupt)* kind of falls down on the ground. And the magic was primed.
The magic goes off *(tzzmp).* As this rocket of like the mute of the trumpet goes like *(fft)*
almost like an RPG.
*Laughter*
Kurt: It just like screams out of this thing.
I'm going to say it hits. I
mean, that's almost the perfect line for those Galapagos right there.
It just *(doof doof doof)* hits those Galapas *(kapoof)*.
Geoff: Man, those poor young turtles.
Kurt: That one was-
Kai: Those above tween but not yet twenty turtles.
Jenn: Yeah.
*Laughter*
Kurt: Both of those Galapas get knocked unconscious right in the line.
So the closest to you, Geoff,
yeah. So *(boonk)* as they *(doof doof)* get hit, you see the other Galapagos are kind of standing there,
kind of looking wide-eyed.
Kai: I want to do something.
Kurt: Yeah, please do.
Kai: Ignoring the turtle that just tried to attack me.
I want to look at the frog in the corner and pick up the tongue that I cut off and then
just like scarf it down in front of him.
Try to intimidate him.
John: Oh, I knew that was coming.
Jenn: Mmhmm.
Kurt: Like suck it up like a noodle.
Kai: Mmhmm.
*Laughter*
Geoff: Like Lady and the Tramp this guy's tongue.
Kai: Can I try to make an intimidation roll?
Kurt: Absolutely. What is a…I guess that would be a presence?
Kai: Yeah, presence which I’m not very good at.
Oh, I can use my bardic inspiration die.
Kurt: Sweet.
Kai: Whatever that's called.
Kurt: Rally die.
John: If you crit this, I'm walking out.
Luke: Legally distinct from bardic Inspiration.
John: You got it.
Kai: 20 with hope.
Jenn: Nice!
*Crowd cheers in background.*
Kurt: 20 with hope. Nice. Getting
that hope back as the shaman is kind of like-
Kia: And I'm taking a slayer die instead of hope.
Kurt: -the ribbit shaman kind of stops as he's kind of like, looks like he's preparing for a spell.
He's like, he's got the trinkets or like bobbles of glass around him.
He looks like he's frantically trying to pull one.
He's getting ready to lob as he looks at you, goes (*Hmpph dry heaving),*
stops and like holds his mouth a little bit and
puts his arm down. Looks down at the his friend on the floor,
holding his mouth, just like not having a good day.
As he's like screaming in pain, he kind of stops and kind of looks around, takes the
bobble, throws it. Looks like it is going to miss you completely, but it hits the galapa that
is right beside you. It shatters on his face and looks like a puff of some
type of acid or magical effect.
That galapa kind of stops, kneels down and kind of like falls down on
his back *(group giggles from Kurt’s motions)* and he's like flailing a little bit on his back.
Kai: He's on his shell.
Kurt: Yeah, he's on his shell.
Looks like there's just one Galapagos left.
Kia: Do I get the idea that he wants to stay in the fight,
the frog?
Kurt: Yeah.
Kai: Okay, I'll charge for him then.
*Laughter*
Geoff: Oh no!
Kai: Since that wasn't enough.
Geoff: That didn't do the trick, I guess.
John: You should stick the ribbit tongue in and out of your mouth as you're charging him.
*Mix of laughter and ews.*
Geoff: That's crazy.
Jenn: Like a gummy worm.
*Laughter*
Kai: 18 with fear.
Kurt: 18 with fear.
Kai: Back to that.
Kurt: That hits.
Kai: I'm going to use my slayer die on my damage.
John: Do you have enough? Never mind.
Kai: 15 damage.
Kurt: : Okay, that is major damage.
As you run at him *(doof)*, he gets hit.
All right, you roll fear.
I don't need to spend two to interrupt.
So I will spend a fear to spotlight him.
He is going to use his magical ability.
Yeah, so he is going to use his arcane blast.
Kind of like steps in.
He takes off one of his little baubles, pushes it, and *(chachum)* slams it against your chest.
He does not like you being so close.
He likes being ranged. 17 against your evasion.
Kai: That hits.
Kurt: Arcane Blast. 19 points of magic damage.
Kai: Okay, that's going to break my armor, and I'm at one hit point.
Kurt: Everybody's like ‘Ahhhhhh!’ *(crowd yelling in background)* with just the cacophony of violence going around. I will continue
to activate the galapas. The galapa looks around, looks at his brothers that are down,
picks up his sticks on the chain.
*Laughter*
Kai: Sticks on the chain.
Kurt: And runs at you guys, slides in, goes in for an
attack. And I'm going to say against-
Jenn: So does he yell, ‘bovine dude’ as he runs across?
Kurt: Yes, he goes;
Galapagos Fighter (Kurt, California accent): Bovine dude!
Kurt: 20, he attacks the shaman. 1,
he attacks Severian. That's a 20.
John: Thank god.
Kurt: 20 as he kind of runs around, kind of like jumps in, uses his foot to plant *(pfft)*, slams down,
goes in for an attack against the shaman homie.
It's a natural 19. That hits this guy.
He goes *(dooh dooh dumph)*, slams down on this guy with your damage that you did to him.
This guy, the shaman, the sticks kind of like smack this dude right on the head *(dmmpfff)*.
And he like kind of slams down as he stops, picks himself up.
He adjusts his very burnt orange mask.
*Laugher*
Kurt: Looks at you. He goes, it's just you and goes:
Galapagos Fighter (Kurt, California accent): Just you and me, dude.
Severian (Kai): It's about to be just me.
Kurt: *Chuckles.* Does anybody else want a spotlight at this moment?
Jenn: Yes.
Kurt: Okay.
Jenn: So as I kind of see, I saw Kua pretty hurt.
I can tell that my friend down in the pit is also looking like he's taking a couple of hits.
So I'm going to change my song. And it starts to be more like a little more mellow sounding
and I'm now singing about like the triumphant warrior in the pit who… who is, you know, stopped all these foes.
One man against so many, you know? And the brave goat
Kua (Geoff, sadly): I was in the pit.
I did the pit.
Jenn: Yeah!
*Laughter*
Kurt: For one second.
Jenn: The brave goat who leapt so far across, and, ya know-
Geoff: Of his own volition, he leapt in.
Jenn: Yeah, he did.
*Chuckles*
Jenn: And any allies who need it can get one hit point back.
Geoff: I do need it. Thank you.
Kai: Yes.
Geoff: I thank you very much.
Kurt: Okay. What is…. What's Ciaran doing during all this?
Luke: He’s been kind of waiting at the edge of the fight pit, just ready to jump in and just sneak a
blow in there to make sure Severian wins.
Seeing that he kind of has this in hand, especially with the bolster from Seraphina,
I'm looking at this other band who's done a little bit too much to my allies.
And, you know, it's just, I think it's time to take them down a notch.
And I'll do exactly what I plan to do in the pit on them.
Kurt: Okay. *Chuckles*
Jenn: So you're going to shadow step behind them and pants all of them?
*Laughter*
Luke: Something like that.
Kai: Pants all of them, but instead of their pants coming down, it's daggers going through their body.
Kurt: Yeah.
Like: I'm going to shadow step in their midst, behind the shadow of the singer, let's say,
who I assume is in kind of the middle of all of them.
Kurt: Yeah, and there's a lot of shadows around here because most of the lights have been extinguished by our Basagar fire
dog, fire wolf.
Geoff: Fire wolf!
Luke: I'm going to spend two hope to first, one to activate Reign of Blades and the other to activate my experience,
Shadow Prince, as I'm manipulating their own shadows into stabbing them and their instruments.
And why not their pants?
Because it says all targets.
*Laughter*
Kurt: Okay.
Luke: 15 with hope.
Kurt: You succeed in your endeavors as you shadow step in the midst of the Iron Strings, or what's left on the
Iron Strings. The brass player has lost his trumpet.
The bass- the war drummer has a non-functioning drum at the moment.
The lyre is kind of like just like locked up in the player's arms by the wood from the entangle from
Pi N'kuwa. Looks like the only instrument left is the fiddle, but she's still restrained.
And the vocalist who is just trying to get her nerve up, just can't seem to get it.
Kevin: The vocalist is still vulnerable, isn’t
she?
Kurt: Yes.
Luke: So I will deal extra damage to her.
Kevin: Yeah!
Luke: I will spend my rally dice on this, and I will also have sneak attack damage on this. *(Group chuckles, impressed)*
And this will hit all of them and their instruments.
Kurt: Nice.
Jenn: And their pants.
Kurt, in agreement: And their pants.
Luke: So that's only eight magic damage against most of them.
Kurt: Okay.
Luke: I rolled a five. So thirteen on the singer
and eight on everything else.
Kurt: Their belts don't weirdly withstand that much damage.
You do end up pants-ing the whole band as they take damage.
Luke: Oops.
Kurt: That is enough to halt them as the instruments kind of cease to play.
The only instruments left playing now are the pickle.
You just hear this odd little pickle solo and the beautiful vocals from
Seraphina and the pounding. Well, I guess you're not pounding anymore.
*Laughter*
Geoff: Very weakly from the side of the stage at this point.
Now that I got healed up a little bit, I'm just like laying on the ground and like trying
to pound on the stands right next to me,
like;
Kua (Geoff, weakly) : Come on, keep the beat up!
Luke: Before anyone can really realize what's happening in the flickering light, my disguise will
fade away as I shadow step off stage-
Kevin: Nice!
Luke: -and shadow step back into the crowd.
Kurt: They’re all looking around. They're all, like their pants, everybody starts laughing
at them. *(crowd laughing in background)* Kind of pointing and laughing which is probably the biggest humiliation.
They stop, they look around, and they look at everybody
they look at you guys. And the base drummer, the bassist the and the ones that
aren't restrained run off the stage.
Kevin: Zeph, seeing this across the way, yells out as Ciaran melts into the shadow
Zeph (Kevin): About fucking time! Jesus.
*Laughter*
Kurt: Okay.
Geoff: With them stopped playing, in that like moment of silence,
I'll start a slow clap.
Kurt: Nice. As you do that, I'm going to spend my last fear to activate the burnt orange clad
young Galapas in a, I’m going to say this guy is-
Geoff: Fighting this mutant.
Kai: Does he look like a mutant? I don’t know.
Kurt: No, you do.
*Laughter.*
Kurt: Probably in a three-quarter shell. It brings his
Kevin: He brought a pizza to yield.
Severian (Kai): What’s pizza?
Kurt: He kind of stops and he goes in for his attack.
That's going to miss as you catch his chained stick.
Kai: You had me worried.
*Laughter*
Kurt: He goes;
Galapagos Fighter (Kurt, California accent): Oh no, bro. It's totally not cool, bro.
Kurt: Now you can go.
Geoff: And I'm going to keep crescendoing that slow clap.
Kai: I'm spending both of my hopes to use both of my experiences.
I have one, Whatever It Takes,
and the other one's Not Dead Yet,
because I'm on the brink of death.
Kurt: Yeah.
Kai: Crit.
*Glitz crit sound*
*Crowd begins synchonized stomping in background, slowly getting faster and faster*
Kurt: Ohhhhh!
GrouPi N'kuwa (Geoff): Yes. Yay! Woo!
Kai: Double ones.
Kurt: Nice. That is like the best crit.
Kai: That's awesome. Okay.
Kurt: Sweet.
John: Amazing.
Kai: What do I do?
Jenn: You get a hope and you clear stress.
Kai: Okay, that's awesome.
Kurt: Brutal damage, so whatever damage you do, max damage, then roll again.
Yep, Bruticles. Jenn: Bruticles?
Kevin: Bruticles.
Kai: As I just rolled with hope, I'm also going to use a Slayer.
Kevin: Or throw it on the floor.
That works, too.
Kurt: Boom.
Kai: That's the sound of this Galapagos opening.
26?
*Oooohs and dangs!*
Kurt: Yeah, that is severe damage to that bro galapa.
Narratively describe your victory.
Kai: Yeah, so I catch his sticks on chains and break the chain, follow through directly into his body.
I'm not trying to kill him.
You know, I wasn't- Oh, am I killing him?
*Laughter*
Kurt: Oh, yeah.
Kai: Then, yeah, I just don't know my own strength and just go straight through him.
Geoff: You weren't trying, but you did.
Kai: Yeah.
John: You just succeeded.
Kai: Yeah, I just completely cleaved in half.
Kurt: You hear the crowd erupt in roar,
the bloodshed *(crowd cheering in background)*. The rest of the contenders that are not eliminated are rolling around in either
unconsciousness or just not willing to get up to compete again.
Syl steps down and goes;
Sil (Kurt, amplified megaphone voice): Fine folks of the Rusted…
Geoff: The Rusted Piper.
Kurt: Thank you. I had it in my head,
and then as soon as I started, it was just like, nope, we're just going to forget everything.
Jenn: I love that he gets down there and he's like, I don't even know where I work.
Kurt: I don't even know what this place is.
He's been... Sil’s probably had too many concussions,
so maybe that's what I'll blame you on.
Geoff: The Rusted... Where the fuck am I?
Piper!
Sil (Kurt, amplified megaphone voice): Fine folks of the Rusted Piper,
may I present to you the winner of tonight's extravaganza!
Not only down in the fighting pit, but on the stage as well.
Seraphina and her Warriors!
*Crowd cheering continues*
Kurt: The crowd *(Rahhhh!)* go in a mayhem.
They start *(boof boof boom)* just like slamming on the door. It's
like it is a cacophony of applause.
It is a glorious moment as you see what looks like flowers and stuff and like different things
get thrown down into the pit and onto the stage.
And Sil kind of climbs down.
He looks up and goes;
Sil (Kurt, amplified megaphone voice): Korga, would you provide our winners with their winnings, please.
Kurt: Korga goes, kind of steps down from the side booth.
Looks like he's got what looks like a chest of stuff.
Sil (Kurt, amplified megaphone voice): Yes, to the winners of tonight's battle ballad,
Seraphina and the Warriors. Remember to tip your waitresses.
Go to the bookie and earn your winnings.
Pay your debts. For tonight was a showcase of talent.
Kurt: Everybody kind of cheers and laughs as he goes over and hands you the chest that he is carrying.
Sil (Kurt): Well earned, my odd friend.
Severian (Kai): Are there more people to fight?
Sil (Kurt): Not this night.
Kai: I kind of like wave at you guys on the stage and I'm like pointing to all the bodies.
*Laugher*
Severian (Kai): Hey, I did this. You see this?
This one was cool. *Chuckles*
Kurt: You have a chest full with your winnings of a couple things,
but as a whole with your bet, how much did you just bet a handful?
Luke: I bet Sevarian's handful and my two handfuls.
Kurt: Okay. So you double your earnings.
John: Nice.
Geoff: Well done!
Kurt: So you get two handfuls back.
You get four handfuls.
Luke: I'll give Severian one of them.
So we're both at three.
KurtL Both have three handfuls.
In the chest if you so open it.
I'm not going to force you to open it,
but let me know when you do and I'll let you know what's in it.
Kai: And we'll open it in secret.
Jenn: Mmhmm.
Kurt: Okay.
Kevin: Not in front of the entire crowd.
Geoff: Back in the green room.
Kurt: Okay. But yeah, people start coming out and collecting the injured and things of that nature.
You have won the battle of the ballads here at the Rusted Piper for a super late entry.
Humiliated the Iron Strings in their home turf.
Upstaged them. Upstaged the pit.
Everything.
Severian (Kai): That was so sick, guys.
Zeph (Kevin): Yeah. I need a drink.
Prince Wilhelm (Kurt): I could get used to this.
I've never really performed in front of so many people before.
Ciaran (Luke): Well, if you'd like to impress Angelica, you should get used to it.
Prince Wilhelm (Kurt): You know what? Maybe we should start a band.
Basagar (John): Absolutely not.
*Laughter*
John: Still in wolf form.
Ciaran (Luke): You do have to return that pickle.
Prince Wilhelm (Kurt): Oh, right.
Kurt: He hands it to, well-
Prince Wilhelm (Kurt): You didn't give it to me.
Ciaran (Luke): I'll take it back to the owner.
Prince Wilhelm (Kurt): Okay. Do you know where the guy that gave it to you is?
Ciaran (Luke): Yes.
Prince Wilhelm (Kurt): Okay. All right.
Kurt: Hands it to you.
Prince Wilhelm (Kurt): I'm trusting you on this.
Kurt: As you, he kind of looks up.
Geoff (Whispers): Shades away.
Kurt: You see Wilhelm kind of like cock his head a little bit.
Kind of like stops, shakes his head.
Prince Wilhelm (Kurt): Do you know them?
Kurt: Is kind of leaning over to you (referencing Ciaran)
as, before you take off,
you look up and there's a couple people standing in the stands that are one of the few that are just
standing there instead of cheering, or talking,
high-fiving each other. They kind of like look
and they are wearing dark cloaks with golden trimmed roping and and things of that
and just garb of of some sorts.
But they have their hoods down
but as soon as you look up,
they put their cloaks up.
Stop. They are wearing the hoods and the cloaks of one of the Ashen Rings (connection bell
dings).
Luke: Is it possible to tell which of them or simply?
Kurt: It's a little too chaotic to tell which one they are.
Luke: Okay.
Kurt: But you can tell there are two of the Ashen Rings there.
One short, stocky, and one
kind of taller. They head out, they
kind of turn around and walk out.
But you guys can make your way up to the green room.
Geoff: How long are we in there before somebody reminds me that I have the two band members entangled.
*Laughter.*
Jenn: They'll figure it out.
Band Members (Kurt): Excuse me! A little help, please!
John: It cuts to after hours and bars closed.
Kurt: Yeah.
Geoff: I figure at some point somebody's like, ‘Did you…? Could you...?’ And I will release them. Kurt:
Yeah, I guess we can, unless there's anything else that you guys want to do, we can call it there.
Pick up there next session.
Feels like a good stopping point.
I know, sorry I didn't leave you on a super big cliffhanger, but.
Luke: Two cloaked figures, I think, is enough.
Kurt: No visions of Basagar. No royal paternity tests.
*Laughter*
Jenn: You are the father.
Luke: The chest of winnings is the cliffhanger.
Jenn: Yeah.
John: Wolf Basagar looks at Ciaran.
Basagar (John): Blood test?
Luke: I shadow step away.
*Laughter*
Kurt: I don't know. Make a presence roll.
Use your Charm.
Geoff: Use your puppy dog eyes.
John: Puppy dog eyes, yes!
*Laughter*
Kurt: Yes.
John: Can I have advantage? I'm actually a wolf, not the dog, but they can still do it.
You said I have advantage?
Luke: As I'm cloaked, you have disadvantage.
John: So close to a crit.
That's a seven. No wait, presence.
It's a dirty crit for
six.
Luke: That is less than half of my evasion.
John: It's the wolf form, guys.
Geoff: It's a little more aggressive.
John: I'm still on fire.
Kevin: I do spend my other prayer die to refill my hope all the way.
Kurt: Wow. Nice.
Kevin: Before we're done.
Kai: Severian looks like beat to shit, but you've never seen him happier.
Kevin: That checks out.
Kurt: At least he's happy.
Oh, man. Thanks, y'all. Seriously,
thank you for listening. If you're enjoying Tales by Daggerlight so far, help us out by hitting that like button
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if you haven't done so already. It seriously makes a big difference,
like far beyond a like button or whatever.
Sharing the show is the best way to help us out.
If you have any questions or theories, fan art, head over to talesbydaggerlight.com and navigate
over to our community tab where you can submit your own fan art and join our Discord server.
We look forward to seeing all of you and what you guys have to show us.
So let's hope our heroes can survive another night.
Kevin: How about **a** night? We haven't had a single night yet.
Kurt: Yeah, I guess we haven't had a single night yet.
It's just been one day.
So it is nighttime. So this could be your moment to-
Kai: That’s insane, I didn’t even realize that.
Kurt: -bed down and find a place to stay.
But yeah, until next time, make sure to listen again because the fate of our adventurers is TBD.
Jenn: Bye.
John: Bye, everyone.
Goeff: Buh- bye.
Kevin: Holy shit.
Kai: That was awesome.
Jenn: Yeah.
Kurt: So, that was a fun, impromptu change of pace.
Kai: I really thought you were going to kill me with that last roll.
Well, I will say-
Kevin: Man, those band instruments were-
Kurt: Yeah, they're killer.
Jenn: Also, we're still just level one.
At least let us level up before you kill us.
Kai: Horse-a-booyah?
Kurt: Hey, Kurt Wild here, coming to you from the recording studio,
or should I say closet or goblin hole,
maybe penalty box, something, I don't know what this is,
it feels like I'm tight in here,
but-
A rising tide lifts all boats,
so while you're waiting for the next Tales by Daggerlight episode to drop,
head on over to the Talking Crit Discord server,
and you might find us hanging out there,
as well as some amazing other content creators,
such as Dodoborne, Momentum, System Shifters, Queen of Daggers-Heart of Fire,
all really great content creators that we highly recommend that you go check out,
and we'll see you next episode. *(Solemn piano chords)*
This next one's going to be a doozy.
I hope you can trust me.