WEBVTT 00:00:00.430 --> 00:00:03.350 The makers of Chase and Sanborn coffee, the superb 00:00:03.350 --> 00:00:06.110 blend you know is fresh, present the Chase and 00:00:06.110 --> 00:00:19.809 Sanborn Hour, and your host, Don Amici. This 00:00:19.809 --> 00:00:21.829 is me, Chase and Sanborn Hour, and this is Don 00:00:21.829 --> 00:00:25.149 Amici. And you're looking perfectly swell. Oh, 00:00:25.230 --> 00:00:27.089 thanks, Charlie. What brings on is the fusion. 00:00:27.789 --> 00:00:29.769 Oh, nothing. You know how it is. Only 11 more 00:00:29.769 --> 00:00:32.590 days till Christmas. Oh, I see. Well, with your 00:00:32.590 --> 00:00:34.350 help, Charlie, suppose we welcome all our friends 00:00:34.350 --> 00:00:36.329 to another Chase and Sanborn show. Yes, indeed. 00:00:36.649 --> 00:00:38.509 Welcome, welcome, welcome. Fights welcome. And 00:00:38.509 --> 00:00:41.009 that comes from Nelson Eddy. Oh, such a marvelous 00:00:41.009 --> 00:00:43.609 voice. Simply marvelous. I wonder what he's going 00:00:43.609 --> 00:00:45.270 to give me for Christmas. Hey, Charlie, Charlie. 00:00:45.609 --> 00:00:47.429 Greetings, too, from Edgar Bergen and my little 00:00:47.429 --> 00:00:49.549 helper, Charlie McCarthy. Oh, heartiest greetings. 00:00:49.789 --> 00:00:51.549 I wonder what Bergen will give me. And a welcome 00:00:51.549 --> 00:00:54.609 to everybody from Dorsey Lavoure. Uh -oh. Now, 00:00:54.609 --> 00:00:56.049 there's an idea of something to find in your 00:00:56.049 --> 00:00:58.130 Christmas stocking. Yeah, you're right, Charlie. 00:00:58.210 --> 00:01:00.490 And greetings, too, from the Stroud Swim. Well, 00:01:00.609 --> 00:01:02.329 then, old fellas, I'll get double presents from 00:01:02.329 --> 00:01:04.349 them. Robert Armbruster extends a hearty welcome, 00:01:04.370 --> 00:01:06.230 and we're all very happy to have as our guest 00:01:06.230 --> 00:01:08.269 one of the greatest personalities on the screen 00:01:08.269 --> 00:01:11.409 today, Miss Mae West. Mae West? That's right, 00:01:11.489 --> 00:01:16.329 Mae West. Woo! And now I'm sure of it, there 00:01:16.329 --> 00:01:18.010 he is, the Santa Claus. We hope you'll enjoy 00:01:18.010 --> 00:01:19.530 our show, and that throughout the week you'll 00:01:19.530 --> 00:01:21.689 enjoy Chase and Sanborn coffee. That's great 00:01:21.689 --> 00:01:23.489 coffee, Chase and Sanborn. Yeah, it certainly 00:01:23.489 --> 00:01:25.230 is, Charlie. I wonder if Chase and Sanborn are 00:01:25.230 --> 00:01:26.549 listening, and I wonder what they'll give me, 00:01:26.670 --> 00:01:38.650 huh? Nelson Eddy sings one of the best love songs 00:01:38.650 --> 00:01:41.069 in all American music, an old friend that we're 00:01:41.069 --> 00:01:43.909 always happy to meet on the road to Mandalay. 00:01:48.840 --> 00:01:54.920 By the old man, if I go to look in Eastward to 00:01:54.920 --> 00:02:00.700 the sea, there's a Burma girl I sat in, and I 00:02:00.700 --> 00:02:06.219 know she thinks of me. For the wind is in the 00:02:06.219 --> 00:02:11.520 palm trees, and the tambour bells they toy. Come 00:02:11.520 --> 00:03:20.430 ye back, ye British. Come you're back Get me 00:03:20.430 --> 00:05:11.459 some worthy stuff so - Naughty Marietta was one 00:05:11.459 --> 00:05:13.819 of Nelson Eddy's most memorable pictures. It 00:05:13.819 --> 00:05:16.240 was full of beautiful melodies, but one of the 00:05:16.240 --> 00:05:18.920 songs I enjoyed most is the haunting love song 00:05:18.920 --> 00:05:21.660 that Nelson sang to the charming Marietta. And 00:05:21.660 --> 00:05:25.000 he sings it now for us, Neath the Southern Moon. 00:09:25.189 --> 00:09:28.389 So you like that, Charlie, huh? Yeah, yes, I 00:09:28.389 --> 00:09:31.830 do, Mr. Eddie, I do. But I still like that song, 00:09:31.929 --> 00:09:36.110 you know, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro. Charlie, you 00:09:36.110 --> 00:09:38.669 call that singing? Well, at least I didn't waste 00:09:38.669 --> 00:09:43.490 a lot of money on my voice. Mrs. Eddie, how much 00:09:43.490 --> 00:09:45.879 can a singer make? How much? to you, May, or 00:09:45.879 --> 00:09:49.460 am I being personal now? Well, I... I mean, you 00:09:49.460 --> 00:09:51.700 know, I mean just round figures, you know. Well, 00:09:51.740 --> 00:09:54.480 no, I make in the neighborhood of... Oh, you 00:09:54.480 --> 00:09:58.080 don't make that much, no. No, I refuse to believe. 00:09:58.080 --> 00:10:01.000 Well, now that you mention it, Charlie, how much 00:10:01.000 --> 00:10:05.220 do you make? Not a tuppence, Mr. Eddie, not a 00:10:05.220 --> 00:10:08.179 tuppence. Every time I ask Mr. Bergen how much 00:10:08.179 --> 00:10:10.580 we're getting, he says it's a benefit performance. 00:10:12.860 --> 00:10:15.879 I get it. Maybe it's a benefit for Bergen, huh? 00:10:16.100 --> 00:10:18.580 I wouldn't put it past you. Say, Bergen? Yes, 00:10:18.700 --> 00:10:21.860 Charlie? Is this a benefit performance? Why? 00:10:21.860 --> 00:10:24.419 Why do you ask? Well, never mind that. How much 00:10:24.419 --> 00:10:26.799 are we getting, Bergen? My dear boy, to entertain 00:10:26.799 --> 00:10:29.500 an audience, to make people happy, to be of service 00:10:29.500 --> 00:10:34.419 to my fellow man. That is my foremost thought. 00:10:34.539 --> 00:10:36.940 It is, huh? Yes. Money is secondary. Is that 00:10:36.940 --> 00:10:42.639 so? Yes. How much secondary do you get? I could 00:10:42.639 --> 00:10:45.840 use a little second. I'm trying to explain that 00:10:45.840 --> 00:10:47.720 there are many things more important than money. 00:10:48.820 --> 00:10:53.100 Name three. Aren't you ashamed to have such selfish 00:10:53.100 --> 00:10:55.840 thoughts at this time? Why, this is your time. 00:10:56.440 --> 00:10:59.019 I remember as a lad... That's a lovely story, 00:10:59.200 --> 00:11:01.159 Edgar, but Charlie wants to know why he doesn't 00:11:01.159 --> 00:11:03.580 ever get paid. Nelson, are you putting mercenary 00:11:03.580 --> 00:11:07.559 thoughts before ideals? Yes, shame on you, Mr. 00:11:07.659 --> 00:11:10.919 Eddie. What would your daddy say? I never would 00:11:10.919 --> 00:11:14.100 have thought it of you, Mr. Eddie. Shame, shame. 00:11:14.700 --> 00:11:19.340 I'm sorry. Perhaps I'm wrong. I should go and 00:11:19.340 --> 00:11:22.399 hang my head in shame. Hang it extra low, too. 00:11:23.620 --> 00:11:28.240 I'll go forgive me, oh, Pa. We forgive you. You 00:11:28.240 --> 00:11:31.000 see how sorry he is? Yes, yes, yes. And now that 00:11:31.000 --> 00:11:34.659 he's gone, why don't I get any money now? Well, 00:11:34.740 --> 00:11:37.500 after all, why do you need money? Well, I have 00:11:37.500 --> 00:11:40.519 to buy. I have my Christmas shopping to do. I 00:11:40.519 --> 00:11:42.799 spent what little I had on Skinny Dugan's present. 00:11:42.919 --> 00:11:45.799 You did? Yeah. I gave him my last penny for his 00:11:45.799 --> 00:11:47.840 present. Yes. Well, that was nice. Yes, it was. 00:11:48.139 --> 00:11:51.639 Where did you get him? I got him a chemical set. 00:11:51.679 --> 00:11:54.779 Oh, I see. My last penny for it, too. Yes. Well, 00:11:54.779 --> 00:11:58.000 that's nice. Yes. He's my pal. Yes. The rat. 00:11:58.120 --> 00:12:02.700 Yes. I got him a lot of bottles and a book of 00:12:02.700 --> 00:12:04.860 experiments. Well, that's fine. Yes. Do they 00:12:04.860 --> 00:12:06.879 work? Yeah, of course they work. I've done eight 00:12:06.879 --> 00:12:09.500 of them myself already. I could have done more, 00:12:09.539 --> 00:12:12.200 but I ran out of chemicals. Well, Charlie, what 00:12:12.200 --> 00:12:13.519 are you going to give Skinny if you've used all 00:12:13.519 --> 00:12:15.299 the chemicals? Well, I'll give him the book. 00:12:15.320 --> 00:12:17.740 The book, yes. And a bottle so he can get refills 00:12:17.740 --> 00:12:20.679 if he wants to mess around with it. Mess around 00:12:20.679 --> 00:12:23.159 with it, yes. Chemistry is an interesting, fascinating 00:12:23.159 --> 00:12:26.519 study. Yes, it is, yes. We owe much to the chemist. 00:12:26.759 --> 00:12:30.320 Yeah? I paid cash for the set. No, no, no. No, 00:12:30.320 --> 00:12:32.500 I'm speaking of chemistry. Yes. It deals with 00:12:32.500 --> 00:12:34.600 the composition of matter. What matter? Well, 00:12:34.700 --> 00:12:36.600 any matter. Oh, it doesn't matter. Oh, yes, it 00:12:36.600 --> 00:12:39.299 does. Charlie, you see, the chemist is the man 00:12:39.299 --> 00:12:41.580 who takes the compound, divides it into molecules 00:12:41.580 --> 00:12:43.740 and elements and atoms. Yeah, that's what he 00:12:43.740 --> 00:12:45.779 does. He'll come up some time and we'll split 00:12:45.779 --> 00:12:49.659 an atom. No. Please, Charlie, don't be facetious. 00:12:49.960 --> 00:12:52.159 Much of the world's progress is due to the labor 00:12:52.159 --> 00:12:54.340 of chemistry. Uh -huh. Their perseverance, their 00:12:54.340 --> 00:12:57.379 patience. I have great respect for them. Uh -huh. 00:12:57.419 --> 00:13:00.940 Well, thank you. We do the best we can. Yes, 00:13:00.940 --> 00:13:03.559 I am. What experiments have you perfected? Well, 00:13:03.600 --> 00:13:05.940 I'm working on a secret formula now for cleaning 00:13:05.940 --> 00:13:09.299 silver. Oh. What is it contained? Well, there 00:13:09.299 --> 00:13:11.039 you are. You see, it's a secret formula. Oh, 00:13:11.059 --> 00:13:13.419 I see. You won't tell me? I won't tell anybody. 00:13:14.059 --> 00:13:18.009 I don't even know what I dumped in it. Oh. Well, 00:13:18.090 --> 00:13:20.309 don't you have a formula? Well, I know a little, 00:13:20.649 --> 00:13:22.549 yes. There was a dash of this and that, you know. 00:13:22.909 --> 00:13:26.250 I took three fingers of sulfuric acid and a jigger 00:13:26.250 --> 00:13:30.309 of potassium chlorine, dash of hydrodromic acid, 00:13:30.350 --> 00:13:32.789 and I took a pony of nitrocellulose, some stuff 00:13:32.789 --> 00:13:34.389 like that. I can't pronounce it, but I dumped 00:13:34.389 --> 00:13:37.350 it in anyway. Then I put the stopper in the sink 00:13:37.350 --> 00:13:39.009 and I poured it all in, and then I dumped your 00:13:39.009 --> 00:13:41.190 silverware in it. My silverware? Yeah. In that 00:13:41.190 --> 00:13:43.009 terrible mixture? Well, you know, Bergen, your 00:13:43.009 --> 00:13:45.649 silverware was tarnished. Is the tarnish gone? 00:13:46.649 --> 00:13:51.570 Yeah, so is the silhouette. The silhouette is 00:13:51.570 --> 00:13:54.389 gone? Yeah, and so is the sink. Is the sink... 00:13:54.389 --> 00:13:59.409 It was a clean sweep, yeah. What a mixture. Yeah. 00:13:59.769 --> 00:14:01.169 Well, that's fine. That's fine. You've ruined 00:14:01.169 --> 00:14:03.190 the silhouette and the sink. Yeah, but it won't 00:14:03.190 --> 00:14:05.730 happen again. We have to charge it up to experience, 00:14:05.730 --> 00:14:07.850 you know. The janitor explained where I made 00:14:07.850 --> 00:14:10.090 the mistake. Oh, the janitor? Yes. He's a smart 00:14:10.090 --> 00:14:13.639 man, too, you know. He's a chemist. College man, 00:14:13.659 --> 00:14:15.740 of course. I guess so, yes, yes. Does he have 00:14:15.740 --> 00:14:18.379 a chemical engineer degree, or is it a BS? I 00:14:18.379 --> 00:14:21.080 think it is, yes. Bachelor of Science. Bachelor 00:14:21.080 --> 00:14:23.700 of Science. No, basement suite there. Basement 00:14:23.700 --> 00:14:26.460 suite, yes. He has a chemical laboratory, too. 00:14:26.460 --> 00:14:28.399 He picks up down there in the basement. I see. 00:14:28.779 --> 00:14:31.019 We're working now on a substitute for gasoline. 00:14:31.159 --> 00:14:33.980 It's very powerful. Is that so? Very powerful. 00:14:35.019 --> 00:14:36.879 One drop on a dog's tail will kill a man. Is 00:14:36.879 --> 00:14:42.149 that so? It makes a monkey out of dynamite. I'll 00:14:42.149 --> 00:14:44.490 bet it does. Well, is this substitute perfected 00:14:44.490 --> 00:14:46.750 now, this gasoline affair? Well, there's two 00:14:46.750 --> 00:14:48.590 things it is, yes. In the first place, it costs 00:14:48.590 --> 00:14:51.210 three times as much as gasoline. In the second 00:14:51.210 --> 00:14:54.049 place, a car won't run on it. Would you care 00:14:54.049 --> 00:14:56.070 to buy in on a little of this? No, no, no, no. 00:14:56.289 --> 00:14:58.129 You can get it cheap now. Yes, I know. I don't 00:14:58.129 --> 00:14:59.549 think I'd care for it. You wouldn't like a piece 00:14:59.549 --> 00:15:01.889 of it? No. Now's the time to get in on the ground 00:15:01.889 --> 00:15:06.759 floor. Yeah. Before it blows up. I have a sample 00:15:06.759 --> 00:15:08.179 with me. Well, Charlie, I don't think I care 00:15:08.179 --> 00:15:09.879 to look at it. I know, and I wish you wouldn't 00:15:09.879 --> 00:15:11.159 handle it around here. It looks dangerous to 00:15:11.159 --> 00:15:13.720 me. It's absolutely safe. I'll give you a demonstration. 00:15:13.919 --> 00:15:15.519 This is no place for a chemical demonstration. 00:15:15.779 --> 00:15:17.899 Bergen, there's a right way and a wrong way to 00:15:17.899 --> 00:15:20.139 handle these things. I know there is. Yes. Now, 00:15:20.159 --> 00:15:21.899 this is the right way. You see, like this. But 00:15:21.899 --> 00:15:25.039 some fool is liable to do this, and then... Oh, 00:15:27.980 --> 00:15:30.899 Bergen! Bergen! Well, where are you, Charlie? 00:15:31.059 --> 00:15:33.740 I'm up here in the ceiling. Well, all I can see 00:15:33.740 --> 00:15:46.690 is a patch up there. And now a brief word to 00:15:46.690 --> 00:15:49.629 everyone who enjoys this program. America has 00:15:49.629 --> 00:15:51.909 gone wild over Charlie McCarthy. Everybody's 00:15:51.909 --> 00:15:53.490 standing for Charlie's marvelous big likeness 00:15:53.490 --> 00:15:55.649 that we're giving away free. Day and night we're 00:15:55.649 --> 00:15:57.389 mailing out these wonderful presents to homes 00:15:57.389 --> 00:16:00.190 everywhere. And you love Charlie too. He's over 00:16:00.190 --> 00:16:02.870 20 inches tall, made of strong cardboard, and 00:16:02.870 --> 00:16:05.340 printed in full color. He sits on your knee and 00:16:05.340 --> 00:16:07.899 you can make his mouth move and his eyes roll. 00:16:08.100 --> 00:16:09.960 And here's how you get him free. Simply mail 00:16:09.960 --> 00:16:12.240 us four bag fronts, showing the date, from four 00:16:12.240 --> 00:16:14.759 one -pound bags of Chase and Sanborn dated coffee. 00:16:15.019 --> 00:16:17.440 And we'll send Charlie promptly and post -pay. 00:16:17.820 --> 00:16:19.299 This offer will last long enough so that you 00:16:19.299 --> 00:16:21.919 can buy your dated coffee as you need it. Never 00:16:21.919 --> 00:16:24.879 more than one pound at a time. Then you're sure 00:16:24.879 --> 00:16:27.980 your coffee's fresh. Never stale and rancid tasting. 00:16:28.460 --> 00:16:30.659 A blend free from the harmful effect sale coffee 00:16:30.659 --> 00:16:33.450 may have on your system. For Chase and Sanborn, 00:16:33.649 --> 00:16:36.230 dated coffee is guaranteed fresh by our unique 00:16:36.230 --> 00:16:38.629 dating and rapid delivery system. It's rushed 00:16:38.629 --> 00:16:41.629 to your grocer fresh from roasting with a delivery 00:16:41.629 --> 00:16:44.049 date clearly marked on a money -saving dated 00:16:44.049 --> 00:16:48.110 bag. You can't buy it stale. Try dated coffee. 00:16:48.570 --> 00:16:50.669 Buy only one pound at a time, and when you save 00:16:50.669 --> 00:16:53.269 four bag front, mail them to us for the big action 00:16:53.269 --> 00:16:56.110 likeness of Charlie McCarthy. Take down our address. 00:16:56.509 --> 00:17:01.370 Chase and Sanborn, 420 Lexington Avenue, 420... 00:17:01.600 --> 00:17:04.640 Lexington Avenue, New York City. Start getting 00:17:04.640 --> 00:17:07.960 Charlie now. Buy Chase and Sanborn data coffee 00:17:07.960 --> 00:17:20.799 from your grocer tomorrow. You remember the old 00:17:20.799 --> 00:17:23.299 adage that coming events cast their shadows before 00:17:23.299 --> 00:17:25.660 them. But we considered a real event when Mae 00:17:25.660 --> 00:17:27.680 West makes one of her rare appearances on the 00:17:27.680 --> 00:17:29.980 air, so by way of upholding a good old superstition, 00:17:30.279 --> 00:17:32.440 Dorothy Lamour does a little shadow casting for 00:17:32.440 --> 00:17:35.240 us with a title song from Miss West's new major 00:17:35.240 --> 00:17:55.480 studios picture, Every Day is a Holiday. Every 00:17:55.480 --> 00:17:59.140 day is a holiday since the day that I found you. 00:17:59.619 --> 00:18:03.259 They all do hang the flags out, they all do close 00:18:03.259 --> 00:18:07.059 the bangs. And though it's not November, still 00:18:07.059 --> 00:18:10.279 I feel like giving thanks. You're a happy new 00:18:10.279 --> 00:18:13.140 year, a movie premiere, you're a Christmas present 00:18:13.140 --> 00:18:17.220 too. Cause every day is a holiday since the day 00:18:17.220 --> 00:19:05.940 that I found you. in both of your eyes and an 00:19:05.940 --> 00:19:10.299 eastern sunday too cause every day is a holiday 00:19:10.299 --> 00:19:13.900 since the day that i found you each heaven on 00:19:13.900 --> 00:19:17.579 earth day feels like a birthday a mayday rendezvous 00:19:17.579 --> 00:19:21.079 cause every day is a holiday since the day that 00:19:21.079 --> 00:19:25.460 i found you they all who hang the flags out they 00:19:25.460 --> 00:19:29.720 all who close the bags and though it's not november 00:19:29.720 --> 00:19:32.880 still i feel like giving thanks you're a happy 00:19:56.309 --> 00:19:59.269 And with that nice bit of foreshadowing by Dorothy 00:19:59.269 --> 00:20:01.559 Lamour, we come to the event itself. which is 00:20:01.559 --> 00:20:03.480 the presence of Mae West in our company tonight. 00:20:04.160 --> 00:20:06.420 Miss West has carved such a sizable niche for 00:20:06.420 --> 00:20:09.180 herself in the Hall of Fame with her unique characterizations, 00:20:09.720 --> 00:20:11.299 that not only is her name known in every home 00:20:11.299 --> 00:20:13.859 up and down the country, but the phrases and 00:20:13.859 --> 00:20:15.680 expressions which she has originated have almost 00:20:15.680 --> 00:20:18.180 become a part of the American language. For us, 00:20:18.299 --> 00:20:20.259 she forsakes the picture hats and sweeping dresses 00:20:20.259 --> 00:20:22.460 of the gay 90s, which she finds so becoming in 00:20:22.460 --> 00:20:25.140 her new picture, and turns back time to step 00:20:25.140 --> 00:20:27.299 into the Garden of Eden and into the character 00:20:27.299 --> 00:20:29.799 of the most fascinating woman of them all, Eve. 00:20:30.269 --> 00:20:32.210 Wendell, will you set the scene for us? Well, 00:20:32.250 --> 00:20:33.930 of course, we find Adam and Eve in the famous 00:20:33.930 --> 00:20:35.869 Garden of Eden, and this light -hearted travesty 00:20:35.869 --> 00:20:37.750 about what might have taken place in those days 00:20:37.750 --> 00:20:39.990 when the world was young was written for us by 00:20:39.990 --> 00:20:42.390 Arch Overler, one of radio's better -known writers. 00:20:43.150 --> 00:20:45.569 Under a spreading fig tree rests one Mr. Adam, 00:20:45.930 --> 00:20:48.589 sprawled out lazily in the hot sun. Eve, obviously, 00:20:48.750 --> 00:20:50.789 is bored beyond endurance as they play a game 00:20:50.789 --> 00:20:54.569 of cards with a deck of fig leaves. Listen tall, 00:20:54.750 --> 00:20:57.720 tan, and tired. It's time I told you a thing 00:20:57.720 --> 00:20:59.740 or two. Ever since creation, I've done nothing 00:20:59.740 --> 00:21:02.099 but playing double solitaire. It's disgusting. 00:21:02.200 --> 00:21:04.420 It's got me down. Well, we've got a nice place 00:21:04.420 --> 00:21:07.079 here. That's the trouble. It's too nice. Well, 00:21:07.079 --> 00:21:09.279 I'm not complaining. But I want something to 00:21:09.279 --> 00:21:11.279 happen, a little excitement, a little adventure. 00:21:11.779 --> 00:21:13.640 A girl's gotta have a little fun once in a while. 00:21:13.759 --> 00:21:19.140 There's no future under a fig tree. Aw. Now come 00:21:19.140 --> 00:21:22.619 on, woman. Be like me. Well, it's a relaxin'. 00:21:22.619 --> 00:21:24.980 Just take it easy, hmm? Because I'm a lady of 00:21:24.980 --> 00:21:30.240 big ideas. Yeah, what kind of ideas? Oh. You've 00:21:30.240 --> 00:21:34.019 no idea. Listen, Adam, I've got to get a chance 00:21:34.019 --> 00:21:37.180 to expand my personality. Well, go on. Expand. 00:21:38.420 --> 00:21:42.240 I will. Out there. Out there? You mean outside 00:21:42.240 --> 00:21:44.519 the gates of the Garden of Eden? Now you're talkin'. 00:21:44.519 --> 00:21:47.779 Oh, but who knows what's out there? I'd find 00:21:47.779 --> 00:21:51.279 out. Oh, no, no. We can't go. We've still got 00:21:51.279 --> 00:21:58.059 a lease on this place. You mean... You mean to 00:21:58.059 --> 00:22:00.000 tell me a lease is the thing that's holding me 00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:02.740 back from developing my personality? Well, a 00:22:02.740 --> 00:22:05.339 lease is a lease. Anyway, we've got a nice place 00:22:05.339 --> 00:22:07.200 here. Temperature perfect, sun always shining, 00:22:07.299 --> 00:22:13.539 nothing but a heavy dew once in a while. What 00:22:13.539 --> 00:22:18.430 are you, the Chamber of Commerce? Don't go away 00:22:18.430 --> 00:22:20.490 and let me sleep, will you? Lou, listen, Adam. 00:22:20.930 --> 00:22:22.650 I tell you, you gotta get me out of this place. 00:22:23.809 --> 00:22:25.829 You gotta break the lease. Yeah, but what for? 00:22:25.849 --> 00:22:27.950 This is Eden. Everything is peaceful and quiet 00:22:27.950 --> 00:22:29.990 and safe. That's the trouble. It's too safe. 00:22:30.390 --> 00:22:33.029 I tell you, it's disgusting. What are you talking 00:22:33.029 --> 00:22:35.690 about? Adam, you don't know a thing about women. 00:22:35.990 --> 00:22:37.769 Oh, you apparently forget you were originally 00:22:37.769 --> 00:22:40.710 one of my own ribs. Yeah. A rib once and now 00:22:40.710 --> 00:22:46.349 I'm beefing. Me? I know everything about women. 00:22:46.539 --> 00:22:50.200 That's covering a lot of territory. Listen, long, 00:22:50.299 --> 00:22:54.539 lazy, and lukewarm. You think I want to stay 00:22:54.539 --> 00:22:57.000 in this place all my life? I do, and I tell you, 00:22:57.000 --> 00:22:59.160 you're one of my ribs. Yeah, but one of your 00:22:59.160 --> 00:23:03.160 floating ribs. A couple of months of peace and 00:23:03.160 --> 00:23:04.920 security and a woman's board all the way down 00:23:04.920 --> 00:23:07.160 to the bottom of a marriage certificate. Well, 00:23:07.160 --> 00:23:09.079 then what do you want? Trouble? Trouble, listen. 00:23:09.420 --> 00:23:11.099 If trouble means something that makes you catch 00:23:11.099 --> 00:23:13.019 your breath. If trouble means something that 00:23:13.019 --> 00:23:14.559 makes your blood run through your veins like 00:23:14.559 --> 00:23:18.240 seltzer water. Hmm, Adam, my man, give me trouble. 00:23:19.519 --> 00:23:23.259 Oh, Eve, you don't want trouble. Now, tell me 00:23:23.259 --> 00:23:25.319 the low -down truth. Ain't there any way you 00:23:25.319 --> 00:23:28.799 can break our lease? Well, yes, there is. But 00:23:28.799 --> 00:23:31.579 I won't tell you. No? No, this is paradise. Free 00:23:31.579 --> 00:23:33.259 light, free heat, free meals. What else could 00:23:33.259 --> 00:23:36.339 a man want? Answer me that. I got a couple of 00:23:36.339 --> 00:23:38.440 good ideas if you'll tell me how to break the 00:23:38.440 --> 00:23:43.559 lease. No, I won't do it. Oh, Adam. What? Come 00:23:43.559 --> 00:23:54.650 on over here. What for? To hold hands? Oh, that 00:23:54.650 --> 00:24:00.829 old game? Can't you think of something new? You 00:24:00.829 --> 00:24:03.230 know, you know nothing about nothing. Oh, yes, 00:24:03.230 --> 00:24:05.690 I do. I know more than you do, woman. Oh, what, 00:24:05.710 --> 00:24:08.430 for instance? I know all about the tree. What 00:24:08.430 --> 00:24:10.250 tree, man? What tree? That apple tree in the 00:24:10.250 --> 00:24:11.710 middle of the garden. The lease says that if 00:24:11.710 --> 00:24:13.069 we eat any of its fruit, we get thrown out of 00:24:13.069 --> 00:24:15.529 here. Oh, now is that a fact? Sure, that's why 00:24:15.529 --> 00:24:17.130 there's a fence around it. I tell you, one bite 00:24:17.130 --> 00:24:19.470 of those apples and we get a dispossessed. Hmm, 00:24:19.529 --> 00:24:24.339 how fa - Fascinating. Adam, you can hold my hand 00:24:24.339 --> 00:24:28.359 now. No. No, I got a better idea. Oh, yeah? I'm 00:24:28.359 --> 00:24:31.299 listening. I'm waiting. Where? What are you gonna 00:24:31.299 --> 00:24:36.440 do now? I think I'll go fishing. How disgusting. 00:24:36.640 --> 00:24:38.500 Now, wait a minute. You can't talk to me that 00:24:38.500 --> 00:24:40.480 way. Do you realize I'm man number one? Yeah, 00:24:40.480 --> 00:24:45.859 but I am number one man. I'll see you around 00:24:45.859 --> 00:24:49.880 supper time. I'll be back. So that's the trouble. 00:24:50.759 --> 00:24:54.500 So it's a tree over there. Hmm. Hello, tree. 00:24:54.839 --> 00:24:56.359 How would you like to do a little lease breaking 00:24:56.359 --> 00:24:59.579 for a woman with ideas, hmm? Not room enough 00:24:59.579 --> 00:25:01.440 to squeeze through those slats for a woman of 00:25:01.440 --> 00:25:03.799 my personality. Now, if I only knew someone skinny 00:25:03.799 --> 00:25:07.779 enough. Salutations, Miss Eve. Oh, if it isn't 00:25:07.779 --> 00:25:12.859 Mr. Snake. Hello, long, dark and slinky. Miss 00:25:12.859 --> 00:25:15.859 Eve, why are you standing by that tree? Stop 00:25:15.859 --> 00:25:20.980 wiggling and I'll tell you. Listen, I know you 00:25:20.980 --> 00:25:23.240 don't approve, but I've got a little proposition 00:25:23.240 --> 00:25:26.359 to make. I certainly refuse to listen. What is 00:25:26.359 --> 00:25:29.039 it? Do you think with the proper provocation 00:25:29.039 --> 00:25:31.039 you could squeeze through that fence around the 00:25:31.039 --> 00:25:34.059 tree? That's the forbidden tree. Oh, don't be 00:25:34.059 --> 00:25:37.099 technical. Answer me this, my palpitating python. 00:25:38.059 --> 00:25:40.160 Would you like to have this whole paradise to 00:25:40.160 --> 00:25:43.380 yourself? Certainly. Okay, then pick me a handful 00:25:43.380 --> 00:25:46.480 of fruit. Adam and I will eat it. And the garden 00:25:46.480 --> 00:25:48.940 of Eden is all yours. What do you say? Sounds 00:25:48.940 --> 00:25:52.279 all right, but it's forbidden fruit. Listen, 00:25:52.539 --> 00:25:54.579 what are you, my friend in the grass or a snake 00:25:54.579 --> 00:25:58.740 in the grass? But forbidden fruit. Are you a 00:25:58.740 --> 00:26:03.500 snake or are you a mouse? I'll do it. Now you're 00:26:03.500 --> 00:26:06.380 talking. Here, right in between those pickets. 00:26:06.740 --> 00:26:10.880 I'm stuck. Oh, shake your hips. There, there, 00:26:10.880 --> 00:26:13.140 now you're through. I shouldn't be doing this. 00:26:13.220 --> 00:26:15.650 Yeah, but you're doing all right. Now get me 00:26:15.650 --> 00:26:24.210 a big one. I feel like doing a big apple. Here 00:26:24.210 --> 00:26:31.509 you are, Mrs. E. Mmm. Ah, I see. Nice going, 00:26:31.730 --> 00:26:35.349 swivel hips. Wait a minute. It won't work. Adam 00:26:35.349 --> 00:26:37.470 will never eat that forbidden apple. Oh, yes 00:26:37.470 --> 00:26:39.650 he will when I'm through with it. Nonsense. He 00:26:39.650 --> 00:26:41.799 won't. He will if I feed it to him like women 00:26:41.799 --> 00:26:44.099 are gonna feed men for the rest of time. What's 00:26:44.099 --> 00:26:49.700 that? Applesauce. Eve? Where are you, Eve? Mmm. 00:26:49.940 --> 00:26:54.319 Waiting, my love. Just waiting. Hello, Eve. What 00:26:54.319 --> 00:26:56.259 have you been doing? Me? Oh, I've just been making 00:26:56.259 --> 00:26:59.880 a little history. Huh? The first woman to make 00:26:59.880 --> 00:27:02.480 a monkey out of a snake. Say, how about supper? 00:27:02.779 --> 00:27:05.180 And don't tell me we got fig stew again. Oh, 00:27:05.180 --> 00:27:07.660 no. Something new, sir. Help me. Something new. 00:27:07.839 --> 00:27:10.819 Here. Have a bite of this. Well, what is it? 00:27:11.400 --> 00:27:15.059 A new kind of sauce. It's good for you. Are you 00:27:15.059 --> 00:27:18.200 sure? Just to prove it's pure 100 % proof, I'll 00:27:18.200 --> 00:27:21.440 have a demi -tasse of it myself. All right, I'll... 00:27:21.440 --> 00:27:24.460 Oh, well... No, wait. Before you eat, answer 00:27:24.460 --> 00:27:26.480 me this. Are you going to take me out of this 00:27:26.480 --> 00:27:28.440 dismal dump and give me a chance to develop my 00:27:28.440 --> 00:27:30.440 personality? Oh, Eve, are you going to start 00:27:30.440 --> 00:27:33.859 that over again? No, I'm going to end it. Eat 00:27:33.859 --> 00:27:36.220 your sauce, big boy, and hold your hat if you've 00:27:36.220 --> 00:27:39.799 got one. Oh, shame. Saint, this is darn good 00:27:39.799 --> 00:27:49.019 sauce. Where did you find it? Oh, my head. Where? 00:27:49.920 --> 00:27:53.440 Oh, what happened to me? We've been dispossessed. 00:27:54.000 --> 00:27:59.180 Yeah, but why? Forbidden applesauce. Oh, Eve, 00:27:59.180 --> 00:28:01.779 what have you done? I've just made a little more 00:28:01.779 --> 00:28:03.900 history, that's all. I'm the first woman to have 00:28:03.900 --> 00:28:05.839 her own way, and a snake will take the rap for 00:28:05.839 --> 00:28:10.279 it. But Eve, we've lost the Garden of Eden. We're... 00:28:10.279 --> 00:28:17.460 we're just... Eve, it's... it's as if I see you 00:28:17.460 --> 00:28:21.880 for the first time. You're beautiful. And you 00:28:21.880 --> 00:28:27.119 fascinate me. Your eyes. Oh, tell me more. Your... 00:28:27.119 --> 00:28:31.680 your lips. Come closer. I want to hold you closer. 00:28:32.619 --> 00:28:43.000 I want to... You want to what? Eve? What was 00:28:43.000 --> 00:29:00.559 that? That was the original kiss. Thank you, 00:29:00.640 --> 00:29:02.559 Mae West, for that most illuminating glimpse 00:29:02.559 --> 00:29:04.859 of the lady who was responsible for so much history. 00:29:05.079 --> 00:29:06.880 The Chasing Sanborn Hour with Nelson Eddy, Mae 00:29:06.880 --> 00:29:08.599 West, Edgar Bergen, Charlie McCarthy, Dorothy 00:29:08.599 --> 00:29:10.500 Lamour, the Stroud twins, and Robert Ambruster 00:29:10.500 --> 00:29:13.599 will continue in just a moment. This is Don Amici 00:29:13.599 --> 00:29:15.539 in The Chasing Sanborn Hour with Robert Ambruster 00:29:15.539 --> 00:29:17.140 and the orchestra joining me in an up -to -the 00:29:17.140 --> 00:29:19.460 -minute commentary on that old, old subject of 00:29:19.460 --> 00:29:21.759 love. It's a long time since Adam and Eve discovered 00:29:21.759 --> 00:29:23.539 the kiss, but we're still making good use of 00:29:23.539 --> 00:29:25.980 it, even as the inspiration for our songs. And 00:29:25.980 --> 00:29:28.519 here's one of the latest. I still love to kiss 00:29:28.519 --> 00:29:42.099 you goodnight. I'll still love to kiss you goodnight. 00:29:42.599 --> 00:29:49.359 The thrill of you holding me tight. Rose ever 00:29:49.359 --> 00:29:54.380 sweeter, the long years between. Since first 00:29:54.380 --> 00:29:59.480 I kissed you when we were sixteen. I still love 00:29:59.480 --> 00:30:05.299 the touch of your lips. I can't get too much. 00:30:05.359 --> 00:30:12.819 of your lips. I know when your hair is growing 00:30:12.819 --> 00:30:20.160 high, I'll feel love and kiss you good night. 00:31:14.960 --> 00:31:53.140 my child get to Don, that was delightful. In 00:31:53.140 --> 00:31:55.259 the past, your vocal renditions have been loathing 00:31:55.259 --> 00:31:57.539 and melodic, but this time you surpassed yourself. 00:31:57.819 --> 00:32:00.640 Oh, thanks, Clarence. Well, I see that Clarence 00:32:00.640 --> 00:32:03.160 Stroud is back in his usual high spirit. You're 00:32:03.160 --> 00:32:05.180 right, Nelson, and my recovery is due to the 00:32:05.180 --> 00:32:06.960 fact that I have ceased to worry about Claude. 00:32:07.200 --> 00:32:09.299 Remember, to be great is to be misunderstood. 00:32:09.559 --> 00:32:12.000 Well, in that case, Claude is a genius. Well, 00:32:12.119 --> 00:32:14.119 Don, some of our greatest writers were considered 00:32:14.119 --> 00:32:16.599 odd. Some of our greatest painters were considered 00:32:16.599 --> 00:32:18.740 peculiar. Some of our greatest musicians were 00:32:18.740 --> 00:32:23.579 considered crazy. I'm a genius. Move over, Claude. 00:32:23.680 --> 00:32:25.640 We have something in common. Hey, wait a minute, 00:32:25.759 --> 00:32:27.059 fellas. Save a little place for Donnie, will 00:32:27.059 --> 00:32:29.519 you? Well, you gentlemen may jest, but I feel 00:32:29.519 --> 00:32:31.660 certain that in the years to come, you, Dorothy, 00:32:31.839 --> 00:32:34.000 and Edgar will all be proud to have known Claude. 00:32:34.319 --> 00:32:37.559 Well, that may be true. Well, you never can tell. 00:32:38.000 --> 00:32:41.579 I'm convinced. Come, Josephine. Napoleon is calling. 00:32:42.099 --> 00:32:46.880 You've got me wrong. I'm not Josephine. I'm Cleopatra! 00:33:00.149 --> 00:33:02.190 They get along very nicely together. Yes, they 00:33:02.190 --> 00:33:07.009 do. They must be geniuses too. Undoubtedly they 00:33:07.009 --> 00:33:09.029 are, and they have your interest at heart. Only 00:33:09.029 --> 00:33:10.630 this morning they stated that you would be a 00:33:10.630 --> 00:33:12.609 great success if you entered the business world, 00:33:12.890 --> 00:33:15.589 or took up some profession. That's nice. Personally, 00:33:15.670 --> 00:33:17.410 I am convinced that you will carve a niche for 00:33:17.410 --> 00:33:19.670 yourself in the realm of business. Once aroused, 00:33:19.710 --> 00:33:21.890 you will crash through every obstacle. You will 00:33:21.890 --> 00:33:24.670 tear down all barriers. You will shake the world. 00:33:25.369 --> 00:33:28.930 I'm a hurricane. Well, potentially you are. The 00:33:28.930 --> 00:33:31.250 secret of salesmanship may lie within your grasp. 00:33:31.650 --> 00:33:33.910 Could you sell me something? Did you pay for 00:33:33.910 --> 00:33:36.529 it? Well, that's neither here nor there. Let 00:33:36.529 --> 00:33:38.849 us conjure up a theoretical instance. You have 00:33:38.849 --> 00:33:40.789 become an agent for the latest type of model 00:33:40.789 --> 00:33:43.410 airplane. This toy has a wingspan of 15 feet. 00:33:43.450 --> 00:33:46.190 It has a flying radius of three miles. It has... 00:33:46.190 --> 00:33:49.049 I'll buy one. But you're not buying this toy. 00:33:49.109 --> 00:33:52.529 You are selling it. Well, I want one. Well, don't 00:33:52.529 --> 00:33:54.400 fret. I'll get you one for Christmas. Thanks. 00:33:54.559 --> 00:33:56.680 Nothing at all. To continue, you are conducting 00:33:56.680 --> 00:33:59.299 a house -to -house campaign. A housewife comes 00:33:59.299 --> 00:34:01.559 to the door. How would you greet her? What would 00:34:01.559 --> 00:34:04.559 you say? Hello. Well, that's an excellent beginning. 00:34:04.680 --> 00:34:08.000 Then what would you say? Goodbye. Well, that's 00:34:08.000 --> 00:34:09.659 a very quick visit. Aren't you going to try to 00:34:09.659 --> 00:34:11.800 sell her something? She slammed the door in my 00:34:11.800 --> 00:34:15.079 face. Well, I don't understand. I am merely citing 00:34:15.079 --> 00:34:17.579 a mythical example. Why do you assume such an 00:34:17.579 --> 00:34:19.599 action? I asked her if she had any children. 00:34:19.849 --> 00:34:21.489 Well, that's a perfectly normal question and 00:34:21.489 --> 00:34:23.610 a sensible approach. You asked her if she had 00:34:23.610 --> 00:34:25.730 any children. Why then should she slam the door 00:34:25.730 --> 00:34:28.429 in your face? I forgot to ask if she was married. 00:34:29.670 --> 00:34:32.349 At times your perspicacity is astounding. Very 00:34:32.349 --> 00:34:34.210 well, you clear up the matrimonial point. Then 00:34:34.210 --> 00:34:36.530 you proceed with your sales talk. Remember, she 00:34:36.530 --> 00:34:39.269 is a woman. How do you appeal to women? They 00:34:39.269 --> 00:34:41.809 think I'm cute. Well, their attitude towards 00:34:41.809 --> 00:34:44.170 you does not concern me. In selling, you appeal 00:34:44.170 --> 00:34:46.670 to a woman through her children. You say, uh... 00:34:46.699 --> 00:34:49.159 Madam, take a look at this model airplane. It 00:34:49.159 --> 00:34:51.179 should please your child. It has a wingspan of 00:34:51.179 --> 00:34:53.960 15 feet. The child has a wingspan of 15 feet? 00:34:54.320 --> 00:34:57.739 No, the woman has a wingspan of 15 feet. Apparently 00:34:57.739 --> 00:34:59.559 salesmanship is not for you. Would you like to 00:34:59.559 --> 00:35:02.559 be a dentist? Not particularly, no. Well, dentistry 00:35:02.559 --> 00:35:04.280 is a great profession and does a lot of good 00:35:04.280 --> 00:35:06.639 for people. You must realize the importance of 00:35:06.639 --> 00:35:09.679 sound, healthy teeth. I've had one fold. Were 00:35:09.679 --> 00:35:11.539 you brave during this operation? Did you retain 00:35:11.539 --> 00:35:14.119 your composure? Or did you cry out? Did you yell 00:35:14.119 --> 00:35:16.280 when the dentist extracted your tooth? No, but 00:35:16.280 --> 00:35:20.599 he did. The dentist yelled, I bit him. Well, 00:35:20.599 --> 00:35:21.940 you shouldn't have done that, Claude. The man 00:35:21.940 --> 00:35:24.280 was only making an effort to help you. Was he 00:35:24.280 --> 00:35:26.699 able to extract the tooth after you bit him? 00:35:26.840 --> 00:35:29.320 It was gone. You mean a tooth had fallen out? 00:35:29.659 --> 00:35:32.760 It was in his arm. I bit him hard. Well, the 00:35:32.760 --> 00:35:36.059 dentist has my sympathy. He has my tooth. Such 00:35:36.059 --> 00:35:38.400 conduct on your part was inexcusable. Dentists 00:35:38.400 --> 00:35:40.800 have anesthetics at their command which render 00:35:40.800 --> 00:35:43.920 their operations painless. Are you allergic to 00:35:43.920 --> 00:35:47.949 anesthetics? Hmm? Are you opposed to Novocaine? 00:35:48.110 --> 00:35:52.050 Do you object to gas? No, you can keep on talking. 00:35:56.170 --> 00:35:58.409 Well, I intend to do so. Why did you choose to 00:35:58.409 --> 00:36:00.909 undergo dental work without anesthesia? Why did 00:36:00.909 --> 00:36:02.750 you refuse to take it? He wouldn't give it to 00:36:02.750 --> 00:36:04.389 me. Well, that's inconceivable. Did he advance 00:36:04.389 --> 00:36:06.670 any reason for his refusal? Said he couldn't 00:36:06.670 --> 00:36:12.300 tell when I was unconscious. Well, I can understand 00:36:12.300 --> 00:36:14.480 a certain confusion on his part. However, good 00:36:14.480 --> 00:36:16.659 teeth are indispensable. If you will build up 00:36:16.659 --> 00:36:18.860 perfect teeth, you may even be able to crack 00:36:18.860 --> 00:36:21.800 walnuts. I can crack walnuts. Oh, I can crack 00:36:21.800 --> 00:36:24.019 hickory nuts, too. Well, that's splendid. I congratulate 00:36:24.019 --> 00:36:26.280 you. How do you crack these nuts? With your canines? 00:36:26.420 --> 00:36:29.500 With your bicuspids? With your molars? With my 00:36:29.500 --> 00:36:32.860 heel. Well, that's no way to crack a nut. It 00:36:32.860 --> 00:36:36.119 ruins the carpet. It certainly does. I can see 00:36:36.119 --> 00:36:37.980 that we have reached another impasse. You are 00:36:37.980 --> 00:36:40.000 not qualified to become a dentist. Would you 00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:42.659 like to become a fireman? Not particularly, no. 00:36:42.900 --> 00:36:45.280 Well, fire -feeding should appeal to every red 00:36:45.280 --> 00:36:47.739 -blooded man. Picture this scene. You and your 00:36:47.739 --> 00:36:50.139 fellow firemen are battling a big blaze. Ten 00:36:50.139 --> 00:36:51.920 streams of water from the left. Ten streams of 00:36:51.920 --> 00:36:53.639 water from the right. Thousands of gallons of 00:36:53.639 --> 00:36:55.739 water pour in from every side. Are you getting 00:36:55.739 --> 00:36:59.480 inspired? Getting off the thirsty. Well, your 00:36:59.480 --> 00:37:02.300 point of view is certainly peculiar. I'm a genius. 00:37:02.659 --> 00:37:04.599 I forgot about that. As a witness of fires, you 00:37:04.599 --> 00:37:06.699 must know the method of procedure. When a fireman 00:37:06.699 --> 00:37:08.780 enters a burning home, what is the first thing 00:37:08.780 --> 00:37:12.949 he does? He hits the piano with an axe. Well, 00:37:13.030 --> 00:37:14.909 you have been observant, but suppose there is 00:37:14.909 --> 00:37:17.190 no piano in the house. Then what does the fireman 00:37:17.190 --> 00:37:21.230 do? He sulks. You are growing progressively more 00:37:21.230 --> 00:37:23.269 difficult. In the past, you have shown a tendency 00:37:23.269 --> 00:37:26.070 to favor opinions expressed by Miss Lemura. Perhaps 00:37:26.070 --> 00:37:28.630 she may be able to save the day. Is she a fireman? 00:37:29.230 --> 00:37:32.369 Well, no, hardly. Dorothy, I have been endeavoring 00:37:32.369 --> 00:37:34.250 to persuade Claude to become a fireman. What 00:37:34.250 --> 00:37:36.489 do you think of it? Oh, Claude, that would be 00:37:36.489 --> 00:37:38.960 so romantic. I think you'd look awfully cute 00:37:38.960 --> 00:37:42.880 in a uniform. Do you, Dottie? Yes, I do. Would 00:37:42.880 --> 00:37:45.039 you wait here until I get back? Yes, please, 00:37:45.360 --> 00:37:47.500 Claude. Where are you going? Going home to get 00:37:47.500 --> 00:37:51.519 my Indian suit. Oh, but I mean a real impressive 00:37:51.519 --> 00:37:54.039 kind of uniform. You could be a Colonel, you 00:37:54.039 --> 00:37:56.239 could be an Admiral, you could even be a General. 00:37:56.659 --> 00:38:00.480 I could be Santa Claus. Oh, yes you could. And 00:38:00.480 --> 00:38:03.360 you'd make a very sweet Santa Claus, too. So 00:38:03.360 --> 00:38:07.010 would you. Oh, but, Claude, if you're Santa Claus, 00:38:07.110 --> 00:38:09.469 you can only wear your uniform once a year. What'll 00:38:09.469 --> 00:38:13.190 you do the rest of the time? Grow a beard. What'll 00:38:13.190 --> 00:38:16.050 you do? What will I do? You're going to spend 00:38:16.050 --> 00:38:18.530 a year growing a beard, and you ask me what I'll 00:38:18.530 --> 00:38:22.190 do. Are you bugs? Are you nutty? Are you crazy? 00:38:22.630 --> 00:38:43.989 I'm a genius. There's no doubt swing is the music 00:38:43.989 --> 00:38:45.889 of the hour. So here's Robert Ambruster and the 00:38:45.889 --> 00:38:47.530 orchestra with their interpretation of the last 00:38:47.530 --> 00:40:57.530 word on the subject. Swing is here to sway. Ladies 00:40:57.530 --> 00:40:59.550 and gentlemen, at last the long awaited meeting 00:40:59.550 --> 00:41:01.510 of Siren May West and Casanova Charles McCarthy 00:41:01.510 --> 00:41:03.429 has arrived. This is the romantic battle of the 00:41:03.429 --> 00:41:05.590 century. The dramatic moment that millions have 00:41:05.590 --> 00:41:07.510 been looking forward to. Tension is running high 00:41:07.510 --> 00:41:09.389 and so are the bets. The odds are May West 5, 00:41:09.429 --> 00:41:11.650 Charlie McCarthy 3. There's some talk that Charlie 00:41:11.650 --> 00:41:13.710 will weaken. They say no man can resist her. 00:41:13.829 --> 00:41:15.250 But there are others who feel that Charlie will 00:41:15.250 --> 00:41:16.889 vanquish the vampire. Wait a minute, wait a minute, 00:41:17.050 --> 00:41:18.690 last minute flash. There's been a drop in the 00:41:18.690 --> 00:41:20.670 odds. May West 4, Charlie McCarthy 4 and a half. 00:41:21.010 --> 00:41:22.289 Let's get a word from the challenger, Charlie 00:41:22.289 --> 00:41:23.969 McCarthy. What have you got to say, Charlie? 00:41:24.269 --> 00:41:25.869 It looks like a tough fight, Mom, but I think 00:41:25.869 --> 00:41:28.679 I'll win. Why do you say it's a tough fight? 00:41:28.960 --> 00:41:32.639 Well, my opponent's in great form. He's had lots 00:41:32.639 --> 00:41:34.420 of training. What do you think of your chance 00:41:34.420 --> 00:41:36.079 of winning? Well, I've had some great fights 00:41:36.079 --> 00:41:38.139 in the East. What do you think of West? Mighty 00:41:38.139 --> 00:41:41.239 pretty country. You might have heard him. Well, 00:41:41.360 --> 00:41:42.659 Charlie's never been in better condition. He's 00:41:42.659 --> 00:41:44.420 a fashion plate with his midnight blue full -dress 00:41:44.420 --> 00:41:45.960 suit, top hat and monocle, and a blue -white 00:41:45.960 --> 00:41:48.199 butterfly tie and dress shirt. Yeah, it's PK. 00:41:48.460 --> 00:41:53.119 PK tie and shirt. Yeah, shot with gravy. And 00:41:53.119 --> 00:41:55.059 now a word for the champion, Mae West. We've 00:41:55.059 --> 00:41:56.300 heard so much about you, Miss West. Won't you 00:41:56.300 --> 00:41:59.000 say a word? Well, all I've got to say is where 00:41:59.000 --> 00:42:03.840 there's smoke, there's fire. Wow. Boy, she burns 00:42:03.840 --> 00:42:07.219 me up. There's nothing I'd like better than the 00:42:07.219 --> 00:42:09.619 aroma of burning wood. I wonder if she means 00:42:09.619 --> 00:42:12.800 me. You better watch out, Charlie. Say, Charlie, 00:42:12.900 --> 00:42:14.820 do you smell that perfume? Yeah. Isn't it ravishing? 00:42:14.980 --> 00:42:16.739 Yes, it is. It's ravishing. It's weakening. So 00:42:16.739 --> 00:42:20.239 help me, I'm swooning. What is it? Why, it's 00:42:20.239 --> 00:42:27.389 my favorite perfume, Ashes of Men. Uh -oh. He's 00:42:27.389 --> 00:42:30.070 a man, holy smoke. She's not going to make a 00:42:30.070 --> 00:42:33.389 cinder out of me. Well, down, there's been a 00:42:33.389 --> 00:42:35.110 great deal of talk, but very little action so 00:42:35.110 --> 00:42:37.210 far. Right you are, Edgar. Miss West, this is 00:42:37.210 --> 00:42:39.989 the famous Charlie McCarthy. Oh, hello, short, 00:42:40.269 --> 00:42:42.889 dark, and handsome. Hello, tall, blonde, and 00:42:42.889 --> 00:42:45.429 terrific. Charlie, that's no way to talk to Miss 00:42:45.429 --> 00:42:47.340 West. You hardly know her. I know it, Bergen. 00:42:47.360 --> 00:42:50.559 I'm a cad. I hate myself. Oh, listen, Charlie, 00:42:50.840 --> 00:42:53.820 are these your keys? Oh, thanks, May. Did I leave 00:42:53.820 --> 00:42:56.400 them in the car? No, you left them in my apartment. 00:42:56.920 --> 00:42:59.820 Oh. Uh -oh. Looks like we're gonna have a white 00:42:59.820 --> 00:43:04.639 Christmas. Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells. Charlie, 00:43:04.780 --> 00:43:08.079 where did you leave those keys? Where did you 00:43:08.079 --> 00:43:11.559 leave those keys? I'm telling you. He left them 00:43:11.559 --> 00:43:13.969 on my dresser. So what? Charlie, why don't you 00:43:13.969 --> 00:43:16.250 walk out on Bergen? What's holding you? Well, 00:43:16.250 --> 00:43:20.130 he is. You better tell him, May. If you want 00:43:20.130 --> 00:43:22.690 to know, he did come up to see me. Oh, he did? 00:43:22.710 --> 00:43:24.710 And what was he doing up there? Well, Charlie 00:43:24.710 --> 00:43:33.090 came up and I showed him my etchings. And he 00:43:33.090 --> 00:43:36.170 showed me his stamp collection. There you have 00:43:36.170 --> 00:43:38.829 it, Bergen. There you have it. So that's all 00:43:38.829 --> 00:43:40.969 there was to it. Just etchings and a stamp collection. 00:43:41.710 --> 00:43:49.530 He's so naive. So that's what's the matter with 00:43:49.530 --> 00:43:53.030 us. Come here, honey. Closer so we can talk intimately. 00:43:53.289 --> 00:43:55.449 Well, if you don't mind, I think I'd better keep 00:43:55.449 --> 00:43:57.530 my distance. Well, I don't like long distance 00:43:57.530 --> 00:44:00.309 conversations, so come here. I thought you were 00:44:00.309 --> 00:44:02.570 going to have a nice long talk tonight at my 00:44:02.570 --> 00:44:04.500 apartment. Where did you go when the doorbell 00:44:04.500 --> 00:44:06.719 rang? Well, I tried to hide in your clothes closet, 00:44:06.760 --> 00:44:09.980 but two guys kicked me out. So I went out the 00:44:09.980 --> 00:44:12.679 back door. Don't tell me you went out through 00:44:12.679 --> 00:44:15.059 the French windows? I'm on the third floor, you 00:44:15.059 --> 00:44:17.340 know. Oh, so that's what it was, the French windows, 00:44:17.440 --> 00:44:19.199 huh? I was going to say you were pretty skimpy 00:44:19.199 --> 00:44:23.139 with those back steps. Oh, you look pretty good 00:44:23.139 --> 00:44:25.340 to me, Charlie. Come here. But I thought you 00:44:25.340 --> 00:44:28.139 only liked tall men. Oh, that was my last year's 00:44:28.139 --> 00:44:30.460 model. This year I'm on a diet. Oh, so that's 00:44:30.460 --> 00:44:33.230 it. You're on a diet? Yes. Tell me, Miss West, 00:44:33.510 --> 00:44:35.289 have you ever found the one man in your life 00:44:35.289 --> 00:44:37.989 that you could really love? Sure, lots of times. 00:44:38.150 --> 00:44:41.769 Oh, I see. Could you even like Mr. Bergen? Oh, 00:44:41.869 --> 00:44:44.309 Mr. Bergen? Well, of course. He's very sweet. 00:44:44.530 --> 00:44:46.349 In fact, he's the right guy. Confidentially, 00:44:46.349 --> 00:44:48.630 you'll have to show me a man I don't like. That's 00:44:48.630 --> 00:44:50.889 well. Bergen's your man. You know, he can be 00:44:50.889 --> 00:44:52.929 had. On second thought, I'm liable to take him 00:44:52.929 --> 00:44:55.010 away from you. Then what do you say? Well, if 00:44:55.010 --> 00:44:56.670 you take Bergen away, I'm speechless, honey. 00:44:58.509 --> 00:45:00.869 You ain't afraid I'll do you wrong? Well, now 00:45:00.869 --> 00:45:03.050 that you ask, I am. Aw, you're afraid I'll do 00:45:03.050 --> 00:45:05.349 you right. Well, I'm slightly confused. I need 00:45:05.349 --> 00:45:07.929 time for that one, then. That's all right. I 00:45:07.929 --> 00:45:11.949 like a man what takes his time. Why don't you 00:45:11.949 --> 00:45:14.030 come up home with me now, honey? I'll let you 00:45:14.030 --> 00:45:20.110 play in my woodpile. Where? I'm not feeling very 00:45:20.110 --> 00:45:22.349 well tonight. I've been so nervous lately. I 00:45:22.349 --> 00:45:24.010 think I'm gonna have a nervous breakdown. Wait, 00:45:24.110 --> 00:45:28.159 there I go. So good time, Charlie's gonna play 00:45:28.159 --> 00:45:30.579 hard to get. Well, you can't kid me. You're afraid 00:45:30.579 --> 00:45:32.619 of women. You can't even know this stuff is just 00:45:32.619 --> 00:45:35.159 a front. A false front. It's not so loud, May. 00:45:35.159 --> 00:45:36.900 Not so loud. All my girlfriends are listening. 00:45:36.920 --> 00:45:39.440 Oh, yeah. You're all wood in the yard long. You 00:45:39.440 --> 00:45:41.219 weren't so nervous, in fact, when you came up 00:45:41.219 --> 00:45:43.400 to see me in my apartment. In fact, I didn't 00:45:43.400 --> 00:45:45.639 need any encouragement to kiss me. Did I do that? 00:45:45.679 --> 00:45:47.699 Well, you certainly did. I got marks to prove 00:45:47.699 --> 00:45:52.260 it. Oh, that's too much. This is too much. Well, 00:45:52.280 --> 00:45:55.000 get this. I don't need you. I got all the gentlemen 00:45:55.000 --> 00:45:57.480 friends I want. Why, I got men for every mood. 00:45:57.619 --> 00:45:59.340 Men for every day in the week. Monday, Tuesday, 00:45:59.420 --> 00:46:01.179 Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. A good man Friday, 00:46:01.360 --> 00:46:03.500 ass and a good man Saturday. I change my men 00:46:03.500 --> 00:46:06.579 like I change my clothes. And you, you... May, 00:46:06.579 --> 00:46:08.559 may, you're not walking out on me, are you? I've 00:46:08.559 --> 00:46:10.980 got a reputation at stake. No man walks out on 00:46:10.980 --> 00:46:12.639 me. They might carry them out, but they never 00:46:12.639 --> 00:46:16.239 walk out on me. I'm mad about you. I love you. 00:46:16.300 --> 00:46:18.840 I've acted like a fool. That wasn't acting. Come 00:46:18.840 --> 00:46:21.619 here. I'll show you how to act. Oh, but may, 00:46:21.739 --> 00:46:24.159 may, don't be so rough. To me, love is peace. 00:46:24.159 --> 00:46:26.420 I need some quiet. That ain't love, that's sleep. 00:46:54.049 --> 00:46:56.070 Now, a short, but very important bit of news. 00:46:57.269 --> 00:46:58.949 Every day, thousands of people are receiving 00:46:58.949 --> 00:47:00.989 their big three likenesses of Charlie McCarthy. 00:47:01.389 --> 00:47:03.510 And you'll want Charlie, too, for he's over 20 00:47:03.510 --> 00:47:05.730 inches tall, made of heavy cardboard, and printed 00:47:05.730 --> 00:47:07.929 in brilliant color. He sits on your knee, and 00:47:07.929 --> 00:47:10.329 you can move his mouth and eyes. Charlie's an 00:47:10.329 --> 00:47:12.750 ideal Christmas present for the children. Remember, 00:47:12.750 --> 00:47:15.289 you get Charlie free. Just mail us four bag fronts, 00:47:15.389 --> 00:47:17.710 showing the date, from four one -pound bags of 00:47:17.710 --> 00:47:20.210 Chase and Sanborn dated coffee. This offer will 00:47:20.210 --> 00:47:21.809 last long enough so that you can buy your dated 00:47:21.809 --> 00:47:24.730 coffee as you need it. Just one pound at a time. 00:47:25.150 --> 00:47:27.710 Then you'll know that your coffee is fresh. Free 00:47:27.710 --> 00:47:30.030 from the rancid, bitter taste of stale coffee 00:47:30.030 --> 00:47:32.190 and the harmful effects it may have on your system. 00:47:32.650 --> 00:47:35.630 For dated coffee is guaranteed fresh by our dating 00:47:35.630 --> 00:47:38.050 and rapid delivery system. It's rushed to your 00:47:38.050 --> 00:47:40.730 grocer fresh from roasting with a delivery date 00:47:40.730 --> 00:47:43.869 clearly marked on the economical dated bag. Start 00:47:43.869 --> 00:47:46.530 now to enjoy the superb blend. The blend you 00:47:46.530 --> 00:47:48.840 know is fresh. Buy only one pound at a time, 00:47:49.119 --> 00:47:51.079 and when you save four bag fronts, mail them 00:47:51.079 --> 00:47:53.519 to us, and we'll send you free the big entertaining 00:47:53.519 --> 00:47:55.760 likeness of Charlie McCarthy. You'll need our 00:47:55.760 --> 00:47:58.239 address, so please take it down. Chase and Sanborn, 00:47:58.599 --> 00:48:02.739 420 Lexington Avenue, that's 4 -2 -0, Lexington 00:48:02.739 --> 00:48:05.460 Avenue, New York City. Start now to get this 00:48:05.460 --> 00:48:08.559 amazing gift all America is enjoying. Buy a pound 00:48:08.559 --> 00:48:11.380 of Chase and Sanborn dated coffee from your grocer 00:48:11.380 --> 00:48:21.690 tomorrow. Nelson Eddy sings a grand comedy song 00:48:21.690 --> 00:48:23.829 from Naughty Marietta, the amusing story of the 00:48:23.829 --> 00:48:52.699 Owl and the Bobcat. I understand you're not the 00:48:52.699 --> 00:49:07.840 kind of a cat you pretend to be. The cat replied 00:49:07.840 --> 00:49:11.800 with just one big meow, meow. And I'm pretty 00:49:11.800 --> 00:49:18.440 sure the owl knows better than I. He knows better 00:49:18.440 --> 00:49:24.119 than I. A fool doll sang from a sycamore limb 00:49:24.119 --> 00:49:27.780 to whip the wall. A bobcat made some remarks 00:49:27.780 --> 00:49:35.239 to him that made him mad cling -poo. The owl 00:49:35.239 --> 00:49:39.340 said, who are you to sit there criticizing me? 00:49:39.760 --> 00:49:42.760 I understand you're not the kind of a cat you 00:49:42.760 --> 00:49:58.980 pretend to be. replied with just one big meow, 00:49:59.420 --> 00:50:02.659 meow. And I'm pretty sure the owl knows better 00:50:02.659 --> 00:50:43.500 now. I've often wondered just what sort of a 00:50:43.500 --> 00:50:45.320 miracle it is that takes place when a beautiful 00:50:45.320 --> 00:50:48.260 melody is born in a composer's brain. Some gateway 00:50:48.260 --> 00:50:50.059 to the spheres must open so that he may write 00:50:50.059 --> 00:50:51.980 down what ordinary mortal ears could never hear. 00:50:53.239 --> 00:50:55.559 Such a melody is the one that Nelson Eddy sings 00:50:55.559 --> 00:50:59.579 for us now. Rachmaninoff, In the Silence of the 00:50:59.579 --> 00:53:27.380 Night. And the breath of an old man. Time seems 00:53:27.380 --> 00:53:29.039 to have a way of creeping up on us, so once again 00:53:29.039 --> 00:53:31.019 it's over. From Mae West, from her regular company 00:53:31.019 --> 00:53:32.599 Nelson Eddy, Edgar Bergen, Charlie McCarthy, 00:53:32.860 --> 00:53:34.300 Dorothy Lamour, the Stroud twins, and Robert 00:53:34.300 --> 00:53:36.340 Ambruster. And may I say to all of you who have 00:53:36.340 --> 00:53:37.780 listened to this broadcast that this hour with 00:53:37.780 --> 00:53:39.619 you is made possible by your purchases of Chase 00:53:39.619 --> 00:53:41.840 and Sanborn coffee. Such purchases are the best 00:53:41.840 --> 00:53:55.360 way of telling us you enjoy our show. If we all 00:53:55.360 --> 00:53:57.179 prepare to go our separate ways, Robert Ambruster 00:53:57.179 --> 00:53:58.980 and the orchestra invite us to join them on a 00:53:58.980 --> 00:54:01.019 dizzy trip through a musical nightmare, Midnight 00:54:01.019 --> 00:55:18.920 in the Madhouse. At the same time, we'll all 00:55:18.920 --> 00:55:21.019 be back for our last visit with you before you 00:55:21.019 --> 00:55:23.019 open all those Christmas packages. So we'll have 00:55:23.019 --> 00:55:24.480 a little Christmas spirit to share and Charlie 00:55:24.480 --> 00:55:26.019 McCarthy will have a rather nice package of his 00:55:26.019 --> 00:55:27.659 own to open with you. And out of it will come 00:55:27.659 --> 00:55:29.460 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. The characters 00:55:29.460 --> 00:55:31.159 will give voice to Walt Disney's new animated 00:55:31.159 --> 00:55:33.380 fairy tale. So until then, this is your sincerely 00:55:33.380 --> 00:55:43.739 Don Amici saying au revoir. This is Wendell Niles 00:55:43.739 --> 00:55:46.719 speaking for Jason Sanborn. This is the web network 00:55:46.719 --> 00:55:48.320 of the National Broadcasting Company.