The makers of Chase and Sanborn coffee, the superb
blend you know is fresh, present the Chase and
Sanborn Hour, and your host, Don Amici. This
is me, Chase and Sanborn Hour, and this is Don
Amici. And you're looking perfectly swell. Oh,
thanks, Charlie. What brings on is the fusion.
Oh, nothing. You know how it is. Only 11 more
days till Christmas. Oh, I see. Well, with your
help, Charlie, suppose we welcome all our friends
to another Chase and Sanborn show. Yes, indeed.
Welcome, welcome, welcome. Fights welcome. And
that comes from Nelson Eddy. Oh, such a marvelous
voice. Simply marvelous. I wonder what he's going
to give me for Christmas. Hey, Charlie, Charlie.
Greetings, too, from Edgar Bergen and my little
helper, Charlie McCarthy. Oh, heartiest greetings.
I wonder what Bergen will give me. And a welcome
to everybody from Dorsey Lavoure. Uh -oh. Now,
there's an idea of something to find in your
Christmas stocking. Yeah, you're right, Charlie.
And greetings, too, from the Stroud Swim. Well,
then, old fellas, I'll get double presents from
them. Robert Armbruster extends a hearty welcome,
and we're all very happy to have as our guest
one of the greatest personalities on the screen
today, Miss Mae West. Mae West? That's right,
Mae West. Woo! And now I'm sure of it, there
he is, the Santa Claus. We hope you'll enjoy
our show, and that throughout the week you'll
enjoy Chase and Sanborn coffee. That's great
coffee, Chase and Sanborn. Yeah, it certainly
is, Charlie. I wonder if Chase and Sanborn are
listening, and I wonder what they'll give me,
huh? Nelson Eddy sings one of the best love songs
in all American music, an old friend that we're
always happy to meet on the road to Mandalay.
By the old man, if I go to look in Eastward to
the sea, there's a Burma girl I sat in, and I
know she thinks of me. For the wind is in the
palm trees, and the tambour bells they toy. Come
ye back, ye British. Come you're back Get me
some worthy stuff so - Naughty Marietta was one
of Nelson Eddy's most memorable pictures. It
was full of beautiful melodies, but one of the
songs I enjoyed most is the haunting love song
that Nelson sang to the charming Marietta. And
he sings it now for us, Neath the Southern Moon.
So you like that, Charlie, huh? Yeah, yes, I
do, Mr. Eddie, I do. But I still like that song,
you know, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro. Charlie, you
call that singing? Well, at least I didn't waste
a lot of money on my voice. Mrs. Eddie, how much
can a singer make? How much? to you, May, or
am I being personal now? Well, I... I mean, you
know, I mean just round figures, you know. Well,
no, I make in the neighborhood of... Oh, you
don't make that much, no. No, I refuse to believe.
Well, now that you mention it, Charlie, how much
do you make? Not a tuppence, Mr. Eddie, not a
tuppence. Every time I ask Mr. Bergen how much
we're getting, he says it's a benefit performance.
I get it. Maybe it's a benefit for Bergen, huh?
I wouldn't put it past you. Say, Bergen? Yes,
Charlie? Is this a benefit performance? Why?
Why do you ask? Well, never mind that. How much
are we getting, Bergen? My dear boy, to entertain
an audience, to make people happy, to be of service
to my fellow man. That is my foremost thought.
It is, huh? Yes. Money is secondary. Is that
so? Yes. How much secondary do you get? I could
use a little second. I'm trying to explain that
there are many things more important than money.
Name three. Aren't you ashamed to have such selfish
thoughts at this time? Why, this is your time.
I remember as a lad... That's a lovely story,
Edgar, but Charlie wants to know why he doesn't
ever get paid. Nelson, are you putting mercenary
thoughts before ideals? Yes, shame on you, Mr.
Eddie. What would your daddy say? I never would
have thought it of you, Mr. Eddie. Shame, shame.
I'm sorry. Perhaps I'm wrong. I should go and
hang my head in shame. Hang it extra low, too.
I'll go forgive me, oh, Pa. We forgive you. You
see how sorry he is? Yes, yes, yes. And now that
he's gone, why don't I get any money now? Well,
after all, why do you need money? Well, I have
to buy. I have my Christmas shopping to do. I
spent what little I had on Skinny Dugan's present.
You did? Yeah. I gave him my last penny for his
present. Yes. Well, that was nice. Yes, it was.
Where did you get him? I got him a chemical set.
Oh, I see. My last penny for it, too. Yes. Well,
that's nice. Yes. He's my pal. Yes. The rat.
Yes. I got him a lot of bottles and a book of
experiments. Well, that's fine. Yes. Do they
work? Yeah, of course they work. I've done eight
of them myself already. I could have done more,
but I ran out of chemicals. Well, Charlie, what
are you going to give Skinny if you've used all
the chemicals? Well, I'll give him the book.
The book, yes. And a bottle so he can get refills
if he wants to mess around with it. Mess around
with it, yes. Chemistry is an interesting, fascinating
study. Yes, it is, yes. We owe much to the chemist.
Yeah? I paid cash for the set. No, no, no. No,
I'm speaking of chemistry. Yes. It deals with
the composition of matter. What matter? Well,
any matter. Oh, it doesn't matter. Oh, yes, it
does. Charlie, you see, the chemist is the man
who takes the compound, divides it into molecules
and elements and atoms. Yeah, that's what he
does. He'll come up some time and we'll split
an atom. No. Please, Charlie, don't be facetious.
Much of the world's progress is due to the labor
of chemistry. Uh -huh. Their perseverance, their
patience. I have great respect for them. Uh -huh.
Well, thank you. We do the best we can. Yes,
I am. What experiments have you perfected? Well,
I'm working on a secret formula now for cleaning
silver. Oh. What is it contained? Well, there
you are. You see, it's a secret formula. Oh,
I see. You won't tell me? I won't tell anybody.
I don't even know what I dumped in it. Oh. Well,
don't you have a formula? Well, I know a little,
yes. There was a dash of this and that, you know.
I took three fingers of sulfuric acid and a jigger
of potassium chlorine, dash of hydrodromic acid,
and I took a pony of nitrocellulose, some stuff
like that. I can't pronounce it, but I dumped
it in anyway. Then I put the stopper in the sink
and I poured it all in, and then I dumped your
silverware in it. My silverware? Yeah. In that
terrible mixture? Well, you know, Bergen, your
silverware was tarnished. Is the tarnish gone?
Yeah, so is the silhouette. The silhouette is
gone? Yeah, and so is the sink. Is the sink...
It was a clean sweep, yeah. What a mixture. Yeah.
Well, that's fine. That's fine. You've ruined
the silhouette and the sink. Yeah, but it won't
happen again. We have to charge it up to experience,
you know. The janitor explained where I made
the mistake. Oh, the janitor? Yes. He's a smart
man, too, you know. He's a chemist. College man,
of course. I guess so, yes, yes. Does he have
a chemical engineer degree, or is it a BS? I
think it is, yes. Bachelor of Science. Bachelor
of Science. No, basement suite there. Basement
suite, yes. He has a chemical laboratory, too.
He picks up down there in the basement. I see.
We're working now on a substitute for gasoline.
It's very powerful. Is that so? Very powerful.
One drop on a dog's tail will kill a man. Is
that so? It makes a monkey out of dynamite. I'll
bet it does. Well, is this substitute perfected
now, this gasoline affair? Well, there's two
things it is, yes. In the first place, it costs
three times as much as gasoline. In the second
place, a car won't run on it. Would you care
to buy in on a little of this? No, no, no, no.
You can get it cheap now. Yes, I know. I don't
think I'd care for it. You wouldn't like a piece
of it? No. Now's the time to get in on the ground
floor. Yeah. Before it blows up. I have a sample
with me. Well, Charlie, I don't think I care
to look at it. I know, and I wish you wouldn't
handle it around here. It looks dangerous to
me. It's absolutely safe. I'll give you a demonstration.
This is no place for a chemical demonstration.
Bergen, there's a right way and a wrong way to
handle these things. I know there is. Yes. Now,
this is the right way. You see, like this. But
some fool is liable to do this, and then... Oh,
Bergen! Bergen! Well, where are you, Charlie?
I'm up here in the ceiling. Well, all I can see
is a patch up there. And now a brief word to
everyone who enjoys this program. America has
gone wild over Charlie McCarthy. Everybody's
standing for Charlie's marvelous big likeness
that we're giving away free. Day and night we're
mailing out these wonderful presents to homes
everywhere. And you love Charlie too. He's over
20 inches tall, made of strong cardboard, and
printed in full color. He sits on your knee and
you can make his mouth move and his eyes roll.
And here's how you get him free. Simply mail
us four bag fronts, showing the date, from four
one -pound bags of Chase and Sanborn dated coffee.
And we'll send Charlie promptly and post -pay.
This offer will last long enough so that you
can buy your dated coffee as you need it. Never
more than one pound at a time. Then you're sure
your coffee's fresh. Never stale and rancid tasting.
A blend free from the harmful effect sale coffee
may have on your system. For Chase and Sanborn,
dated coffee is guaranteed fresh by our unique
dating and rapid delivery system. It's rushed
to your grocer fresh from roasting with a delivery
date clearly marked on a money -saving dated
bag. You can't buy it stale. Try dated coffee.
Buy only one pound at a time, and when you save
four bag front, mail them to us for the big action
likeness of Charlie McCarthy. Take down our address.
Chase and Sanborn, 420 Lexington Avenue, 420...
Lexington Avenue, New York City. Start getting
Charlie now. Buy Chase and Sanborn data coffee
from your grocer tomorrow. You remember the old
adage that coming events cast their shadows before
them. But we considered a real event when Mae
West makes one of her rare appearances on the
air, so by way of upholding a good old superstition,
Dorothy Lamour does a little shadow casting for
us with a title song from Miss West's new major
studios picture, Every Day is a Holiday. Every
day is a holiday since the day that I found you.
They all do hang the flags out, they all do close
the bangs. And though it's not November, still
I feel like giving thanks. You're a happy new
year, a movie premiere, you're a Christmas present
too. Cause every day is a holiday since the day
that I found you. in both of your eyes and an
eastern sunday too cause every day is a holiday
since the day that i found you each heaven on
earth day feels like a birthday a mayday rendezvous
cause every day is a holiday since the day that
i found you they all who hang the flags out they
all who close the bags and though it's not november
still i feel like giving thanks you're a happy
And with that nice bit of foreshadowing by Dorothy
Lamour, we come to the event itself. which is
the presence of Mae West in our company tonight.
Miss West has carved such a sizable niche for
herself in the Hall of Fame with her unique characterizations,
that not only is her name known in every home
up and down the country, but the phrases and
expressions which she has originated have almost
become a part of the American language. For us,
she forsakes the picture hats and sweeping dresses
of the gay 90s, which she finds so becoming in
her new picture, and turns back time to step
into the Garden of Eden and into the character
of the most fascinating woman of them all, Eve.
Wendell, will you set the scene for us? Well,
of course, we find Adam and Eve in the famous
Garden of Eden, and this light -hearted travesty
about what might have taken place in those days
when the world was young was written for us by
Arch Overler, one of radio's better -known writers.
Under a spreading fig tree rests one Mr. Adam,
sprawled out lazily in the hot sun. Eve, obviously,
is bored beyond endurance as they play a game
of cards with a deck of fig leaves. Listen tall,
tan, and tired. It's time I told you a thing
or two. Ever since creation, I've done nothing
but playing double solitaire. It's disgusting.
It's got me down. Well, we've got a nice place
here. That's the trouble. It's too nice. Well,
I'm not complaining. But I want something to
happen, a little excitement, a little adventure.
A girl's gotta have a little fun once in a while.
There's no future under a fig tree. Aw. Now come
on, woman. Be like me. Well, it's a relaxin'.
Just take it easy, hmm? Because I'm a lady of
big ideas. Yeah, what kind of ideas? Oh. You've
no idea. Listen, Adam, I've got to get a chance
to expand my personality. Well, go on. Expand.
I will. Out there. Out there? You mean outside
the gates of the Garden of Eden? Now you're talkin'.
Oh, but who knows what's out there? I'd find
out. Oh, no, no. We can't go. We've still got
a lease on this place. You mean... You mean to
tell me a lease is the thing that's holding me
back from developing my personality? Well, a
lease is a lease. Anyway, we've got a nice place
here. Temperature perfect, sun always shining,
nothing but a heavy dew once in a while. What
are you, the Chamber of Commerce? Don't go away
and let me sleep, will you? Lou, listen, Adam.
I tell you, you gotta get me out of this place.
You gotta break the lease. Yeah, but what for?
This is Eden. Everything is peaceful and quiet
and safe. That's the trouble. It's too safe.
I tell you, it's disgusting. What are you talking
about? Adam, you don't know a thing about women.
Oh, you apparently forget you were originally
one of my own ribs. Yeah. A rib once and now
I'm beefing. Me? I know everything about women.
That's covering a lot of territory. Listen, long,
lazy, and lukewarm. You think I want to stay
in this place all my life? I do, and I tell you,
you're one of my ribs. Yeah, but one of your
floating ribs. A couple of months of peace and
security and a woman's board all the way down
to the bottom of a marriage certificate. Well,
then what do you want? Trouble? Trouble, listen.
If trouble means something that makes you catch
your breath. If trouble means something that
makes your blood run through your veins like
seltzer water. Hmm, Adam, my man, give me trouble.
Oh, Eve, you don't want trouble. Now, tell me
the low -down truth. Ain't there any way you
can break our lease? Well, yes, there is. But
I won't tell you. No? No, this is paradise. Free
light, free heat, free meals. What else could
a man want? Answer me that. I got a couple of
good ideas if you'll tell me how to break the
lease. No, I won't do it. Oh, Adam. What? Come
on over here. What for? To hold hands? Oh, that
old game? Can't you think of something new? You
know, you know nothing about nothing. Oh, yes,
I do. I know more than you do, woman. Oh, what,
for instance? I know all about the tree. What
tree, man? What tree? That apple tree in the
middle of the garden. The lease says that if
we eat any of its fruit, we get thrown out of
here. Oh, now is that a fact? Sure, that's why
there's a fence around it. I tell you, one bite
of those apples and we get a dispossessed. Hmm,
how fa - Fascinating. Adam, you can hold my hand
now. No. No, I got a better idea. Oh, yeah? I'm
listening. I'm waiting. Where? What are you gonna
do now? I think I'll go fishing. How disgusting.
Now, wait a minute. You can't talk to me that
way. Do you realize I'm man number one? Yeah,
but I am number one man. I'll see you around
supper time. I'll be back. So that's the trouble.
So it's a tree over there. Hmm. Hello, tree.
How would you like to do a little lease breaking
for a woman with ideas, hmm? Not room enough
to squeeze through those slats for a woman of
my personality. Now, if I only knew someone skinny
enough. Salutations, Miss Eve. Oh, if it isn't
Mr. Snake. Hello, long, dark and slinky. Miss
Eve, why are you standing by that tree? Stop
wiggling and I'll tell you. Listen, I know you
don't approve, but I've got a little proposition
to make. I certainly refuse to listen. What is
it? Do you think with the proper provocation
you could squeeze through that fence around the
tree? That's the forbidden tree. Oh, don't be
technical. Answer me this, my palpitating python.
Would you like to have this whole paradise to
yourself? Certainly. Okay, then pick me a handful
of fruit. Adam and I will eat it. And the garden
of Eden is all yours. What do you say? Sounds
all right, but it's forbidden fruit. Listen,
what are you, my friend in the grass or a snake
in the grass? But forbidden fruit. Are you a
snake or are you a mouse? I'll do it. Now you're
talking. Here, right in between those pickets.
I'm stuck. Oh, shake your hips. There, there,
now you're through. I shouldn't be doing this.
Yeah, but you're doing all right. Now get me
a big one. I feel like doing a big apple. Here
you are, Mrs. E. Mmm. Ah, I see. Nice going,
swivel hips. Wait a minute. It won't work. Adam
will never eat that forbidden apple. Oh, yes
he will when I'm through with it. Nonsense. He
won't. He will if I feed it to him like women
are gonna feed men for the rest of time. What's
that? Applesauce. Eve? Where are you, Eve? Mmm.
Waiting, my love. Just waiting. Hello, Eve. What
have you been doing? Me? Oh, I've just been making
a little history. Huh? The first woman to make
a monkey out of a snake. Say, how about supper?
And don't tell me we got fig stew again. Oh,
no. Something new, sir. Help me. Something new.
Here. Have a bite of this. Well, what is it?
A new kind of sauce. It's good for you. Are you
sure? Just to prove it's pure 100 % proof, I'll
have a demi -tasse of it myself. All right, I'll...
Oh, well... No, wait. Before you eat, answer
me this. Are you going to take me out of this
dismal dump and give me a chance to develop my
personality? Oh, Eve, are you going to start
that over again? No, I'm going to end it. Eat
your sauce, big boy, and hold your hat if you've
got one. Oh, shame. Saint, this is darn good
sauce. Where did you find it? Oh, my head. Where?
Oh, what happened to me? We've been dispossessed.
Yeah, but why? Forbidden applesauce. Oh, Eve,
what have you done? I've just made a little more
history, that's all. I'm the first woman to have
her own way, and a snake will take the rap for
it. But Eve, we've lost the Garden of Eden. We're...
we're just... Eve, it's... it's as if I see you
for the first time. You're beautiful. And you
fascinate me. Your eyes. Oh, tell me more. Your...
your lips. Come closer. I want to hold you closer.
I want to... You want to what? Eve? What was
that? That was the original kiss. Thank you,
Mae West, for that most illuminating glimpse
of the lady who was responsible for so much history.
The Chasing Sanborn Hour with Nelson Eddy, Mae
West, Edgar Bergen, Charlie McCarthy, Dorothy
Lamour, the Stroud twins, and Robert Ambruster
will continue in just a moment. This is Don Amici
in The Chasing Sanborn Hour with Robert Ambruster
and the orchestra joining me in an up -to -the
-minute commentary on that old, old subject of
love. It's a long time since Adam and Eve discovered
the kiss, but we're still making good use of
it, even as the inspiration for our songs. And
here's one of the latest. I still love to kiss
you goodnight. I'll still love to kiss you goodnight.
The thrill of you holding me tight. Rose ever
sweeter, the long years between. Since first
I kissed you when we were sixteen. I still love
the touch of your lips. I can't get too much.
of your lips. I know when your hair is growing
high, I'll feel love and kiss you good night.
my child get to Don, that was delightful. In
the past, your vocal renditions have been loathing
and melodic, but this time you surpassed yourself.
Oh, thanks, Clarence. Well, I see that Clarence
Stroud is back in his usual high spirit. You're
right, Nelson, and my recovery is due to the
fact that I have ceased to worry about Claude.
Remember, to be great is to be misunderstood.
Well, in that case, Claude is a genius. Well,
Don, some of our greatest writers were considered
odd. Some of our greatest painters were considered
peculiar. Some of our greatest musicians were
considered crazy. I'm a genius. Move over, Claude.
We have something in common. Hey, wait a minute,
fellas. Save a little place for Donnie, will
you? Well, you gentlemen may jest, but I feel
certain that in the years to come, you, Dorothy,
and Edgar will all be proud to have known Claude.
Well, that may be true. Well, you never can tell.
I'm convinced. Come, Josephine. Napoleon is calling.
You've got me wrong. I'm not Josephine. I'm Cleopatra!
They get along very nicely together. Yes, they
do. They must be geniuses too. Undoubtedly they
are, and they have your interest at heart. Only
this morning they stated that you would be a
great success if you entered the business world,
or took up some profession. That's nice. Personally,
I am convinced that you will carve a niche for
yourself in the realm of business. Once aroused,
you will crash through every obstacle. You will
tear down all barriers. You will shake the world.
I'm a hurricane. Well, potentially you are. The
secret of salesmanship may lie within your grasp.
Could you sell me something? Did you pay for
it? Well, that's neither here nor there. Let
us conjure up a theoretical instance. You have
become an agent for the latest type of model
airplane. This toy has a wingspan of 15 feet.
It has a flying radius of three miles. It has...
I'll buy one. But you're not buying this toy.
You are selling it. Well, I want one. Well, don't
fret. I'll get you one for Christmas. Thanks.
Nothing at all. To continue, you are conducting
a house -to -house campaign. A housewife comes
to the door. How would you greet her? What would
you say? Hello. Well, that's an excellent beginning.
Then what would you say? Goodbye. Well, that's
a very quick visit. Aren't you going to try to
sell her something? She slammed the door in my
face. Well, I don't understand. I am merely citing
a mythical example. Why do you assume such an
action? I asked her if she had any children.
Well, that's a perfectly normal question and
a sensible approach. You asked her if she had
any children. Why then should she slam the door
in your face? I forgot to ask if she was married.
At times your perspicacity is astounding. Very
well, you clear up the matrimonial point. Then
you proceed with your sales talk. Remember, she
is a woman. How do you appeal to women? They
think I'm cute. Well, their attitude towards
you does not concern me. In selling, you appeal
to a woman through her children. You say, uh...
Madam, take a look at this model airplane. It
should please your child. It has a wingspan of
15 feet. The child has a wingspan of 15 feet?
No, the woman has a wingspan of 15 feet. Apparently
salesmanship is not for you. Would you like to
be a dentist? Not particularly, no. Well, dentistry
is a great profession and does a lot of good
for people. You must realize the importance of
sound, healthy teeth. I've had one fold. Were
you brave during this operation? Did you retain
your composure? Or did you cry out? Did you yell
when the dentist extracted your tooth? No, but
he did. The dentist yelled, I bit him. Well,
you shouldn't have done that, Claude. The man
was only making an effort to help you. Was he
able to extract the tooth after you bit him?
It was gone. You mean a tooth had fallen out?
It was in his arm. I bit him hard. Well, the
dentist has my sympathy. He has my tooth. Such
conduct on your part was inexcusable. Dentists
have anesthetics at their command which render
their operations painless. Are you allergic to
anesthetics? Hmm? Are you opposed to Novocaine?
Do you object to gas? No, you can keep on talking.
Well, I intend to do so. Why did you choose to
undergo dental work without anesthesia? Why did
you refuse to take it? He wouldn't give it to
me. Well, that's inconceivable. Did he advance
any reason for his refusal? Said he couldn't
tell when I was unconscious. Well, I can understand
a certain confusion on his part. However, good
teeth are indispensable. If you will build up
perfect teeth, you may even be able to crack
walnuts. I can crack walnuts. Oh, I can crack
hickory nuts, too. Well, that's splendid. I congratulate
you. How do you crack these nuts? With your canines?
With your bicuspids? With your molars? With my
heel. Well, that's no way to crack a nut. It
ruins the carpet. It certainly does. I can see
that we have reached another impasse. You are
not qualified to become a dentist. Would you
like to become a fireman? Not particularly, no.
Well, fire -feeding should appeal to every red
-blooded man. Picture this scene. You and your
fellow firemen are battling a big blaze. Ten
streams of water from the left. Ten streams of
water from the right. Thousands of gallons of
water pour in from every side. Are you getting
inspired? Getting off the thirsty. Well, your
point of view is certainly peculiar. I'm a genius.
I forgot about that. As a witness of fires, you
must know the method of procedure. When a fireman
enters a burning home, what is the first thing
he does? He hits the piano with an axe. Well,
you have been observant, but suppose there is
no piano in the house. Then what does the fireman
do? He sulks. You are growing progressively more
difficult. In the past, you have shown a tendency
to favor opinions expressed by Miss Lemura. Perhaps
she may be able to save the day. Is she a fireman?
Well, no, hardly. Dorothy, I have been endeavoring
to persuade Claude to become a fireman. What
do you think of it? Oh, Claude, that would be
so romantic. I think you'd look awfully cute
in a uniform. Do you, Dottie? Yes, I do. Would
you wait here until I get back? Yes, please,
Claude. Where are you going? Going home to get
my Indian suit. Oh, but I mean a real impressive
kind of uniform. You could be a Colonel, you
could be an Admiral, you could even be a General.
I could be Santa Claus. Oh, yes you could. And
you'd make a very sweet Santa Claus, too. So
would you. Oh, but, Claude, if you're Santa Claus,
you can only wear your uniform once a year. What'll
you do the rest of the time? Grow a beard. What'll
you do? What will I do? You're going to spend
a year growing a beard, and you ask me what I'll
do. Are you bugs? Are you nutty? Are you crazy?
I'm a genius. There's no doubt swing is the music
of the hour. So here's Robert Ambruster and the
orchestra with their interpretation of the last
word on the subject. Swing is here to sway. Ladies
and gentlemen, at last the long awaited meeting
of Siren May West and Casanova Charles McCarthy
has arrived. This is the romantic battle of the
century. The dramatic moment that millions have
been looking forward to. Tension is running high
and so are the bets. The odds are May West 5,
Charlie McCarthy 3. There's some talk that Charlie
will weaken. They say no man can resist her.
But there are others who feel that Charlie will
vanquish the vampire. Wait a minute, wait a minute,
last minute flash. There's been a drop in the
odds. May West 4, Charlie McCarthy 4 and a half.
Let's get a word from the challenger, Charlie
McCarthy. What have you got to say, Charlie?
It looks like a tough fight, Mom, but I think
I'll win. Why do you say it's a tough fight?
Well, my opponent's in great form. He's had lots
of training. What do you think of your chance
of winning? Well, I've had some great fights
in the East. What do you think of West? Mighty
pretty country. You might have heard him. Well,
Charlie's never been in better condition. He's
a fashion plate with his midnight blue full -dress
suit, top hat and monocle, and a blue -white
butterfly tie and dress shirt. Yeah, it's PK.
PK tie and shirt. Yeah, shot with gravy. And
now a word for the champion, Mae West. We've
heard so much about you, Miss West. Won't you
say a word? Well, all I've got to say is where
there's smoke, there's fire. Wow. Boy, she burns
me up. There's nothing I'd like better than the
aroma of burning wood. I wonder if she means
me. You better watch out, Charlie. Say, Charlie,
do you smell that perfume? Yeah. Isn't it ravishing?
Yes, it is. It's ravishing. It's weakening. So
help me, I'm swooning. What is it? Why, it's
my favorite perfume, Ashes of Men. Uh -oh. He's
a man, holy smoke. She's not going to make a
cinder out of me. Well, down, there's been a
great deal of talk, but very little action so
far. Right you are, Edgar. Miss West, this is
the famous Charlie McCarthy. Oh, hello, short,
dark, and handsome. Hello, tall, blonde, and
terrific. Charlie, that's no way to talk to Miss
West. You hardly know her. I know it, Bergen.
I'm a cad. I hate myself. Oh, listen, Charlie,
are these your keys? Oh, thanks, May. Did I leave
them in the car? No, you left them in my apartment.
Oh. Uh -oh. Looks like we're gonna have a white
Christmas. Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells. Charlie,
where did you leave those keys? Where did you
leave those keys? I'm telling you. He left them
on my dresser. So what? Charlie, why don't you
walk out on Bergen? What's holding you? Well,
he is. You better tell him, May. If you want
to know, he did come up to see me. Oh, he did?
And what was he doing up there? Well, Charlie
came up and I showed him my etchings. And he
showed me his stamp collection. There you have
it, Bergen. There you have it. So that's all
there was to it. Just etchings and a stamp collection.
He's so naive. So that's what's the matter with
us. Come here, honey. Closer so we can talk intimately.
Well, if you don't mind, I think I'd better keep
my distance. Well, I don't like long distance
conversations, so come here. I thought you were
going to have a nice long talk tonight at my
apartment. Where did you go when the doorbell
rang? Well, I tried to hide in your clothes closet,
but two guys kicked me out. So I went out the
back door. Don't tell me you went out through
the French windows? I'm on the third floor, you
know. Oh, so that's what it was, the French windows,
huh? I was going to say you were pretty skimpy
with those back steps. Oh, you look pretty good
to me, Charlie. Come here. But I thought you
only liked tall men. Oh, that was my last year's
model. This year I'm on a diet. Oh, so that's
it. You're on a diet? Yes. Tell me, Miss West,
have you ever found the one man in your life
that you could really love? Sure, lots of times.
Oh, I see. Could you even like Mr. Bergen? Oh,
Mr. Bergen? Well, of course. He's very sweet.
In fact, he's the right guy. Confidentially,
you'll have to show me a man I don't like. That's
well. Bergen's your man. You know, he can be
had. On second thought, I'm liable to take him
away from you. Then what do you say? Well, if
you take Bergen away, I'm speechless, honey.
You ain't afraid I'll do you wrong? Well, now
that you ask, I am. Aw, you're afraid I'll do
you right. Well, I'm slightly confused. I need
time for that one, then. That's all right. I
like a man what takes his time. Why don't you
come up home with me now, honey? I'll let you
play in my woodpile. Where? I'm not feeling very
well tonight. I've been so nervous lately. I
think I'm gonna have a nervous breakdown. Wait,
there I go. So good time, Charlie's gonna play
hard to get. Well, you can't kid me. You're afraid
of women. You can't even know this stuff is just
a front. A false front. It's not so loud, May.
Not so loud. All my girlfriends are listening.
Oh, yeah. You're all wood in the yard long. You
weren't so nervous, in fact, when you came up
to see me in my apartment. In fact, I didn't
need any encouragement to kiss me. Did I do that?
Well, you certainly did. I got marks to prove
it. Oh, that's too much. This is too much. Well,
get this. I don't need you. I got all the gentlemen
friends I want. Why, I got men for every mood.
Men for every day in the week. Monday, Tuesday,
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. A good man Friday,
ass and a good man Saturday. I change my men
like I change my clothes. And you, you... May,
may, you're not walking out on me, are you? I've
got a reputation at stake. No man walks out on
me. They might carry them out, but they never
walk out on me. I'm mad about you. I love you.
I've acted like a fool. That wasn't acting. Come
here. I'll show you how to act. Oh, but may,
may, don't be so rough. To me, love is peace.
I need some quiet. That ain't love, that's sleep.
Now, a short, but very important bit of news.
Every day, thousands of people are receiving
their big three likenesses of Charlie McCarthy.
And you'll want Charlie, too, for he's over 20
inches tall, made of heavy cardboard, and printed
in brilliant color. He sits on your knee, and
you can move his mouth and eyes. Charlie's an
ideal Christmas present for the children. Remember,
you get Charlie free. Just mail us four bag fronts,
showing the date, from four one -pound bags of
Chase and Sanborn dated coffee. This offer will
last long enough so that you can buy your dated
coffee as you need it. Just one pound at a time.
Then you'll know that your coffee is fresh. Free
from the rancid, bitter taste of stale coffee
and the harmful effects it may have on your system.
For dated coffee is guaranteed fresh by our dating
and rapid delivery system. It's rushed to your
grocer fresh from roasting with a delivery date
clearly marked on the economical dated bag. Start
now to enjoy the superb blend. The blend you
know is fresh. Buy only one pound at a time,
and when you save four bag fronts, mail them
to us, and we'll send you free the big entertaining
likeness of Charlie McCarthy. You'll need our
address, so please take it down. Chase and Sanborn,
420 Lexington Avenue, that's 4 -2 -0, Lexington
Avenue, New York City. Start now to get this
amazing gift all America is enjoying. Buy a pound
of Chase and Sanborn dated coffee from your grocer
tomorrow. Nelson Eddy sings a grand comedy song
from Naughty Marietta, the amusing story of the
Owl and the Bobcat. I understand you're not the
kind of a cat you pretend to be. The cat replied
with just one big meow, meow. And I'm pretty
sure the owl knows better than I. He knows better
than I. A fool doll sang from a sycamore limb
to whip the wall. A bobcat made some remarks
to him that made him mad cling -poo. The owl
said, who are you to sit there criticizing me?
I understand you're not the kind of a cat you
pretend to be. replied with just one big meow,
meow. And I'm pretty sure the owl knows better
now. I've often wondered just what sort of a
miracle it is that takes place when a beautiful
melody is born in a composer's brain. Some gateway
to the spheres must open so that he may write
down what ordinary mortal ears could never hear.
Such a melody is the one that Nelson Eddy sings
for us now. Rachmaninoff, In the Silence of the
Night. And the breath of an old man. Time seems
to have a way of creeping up on us, so once again
it's over. From Mae West, from her regular company
Nelson Eddy, Edgar Bergen, Charlie McCarthy,
Dorothy Lamour, the Stroud twins, and Robert
Ambruster. And may I say to all of you who have
listened to this broadcast that this hour with
you is made possible by your purchases of Chase
and Sanborn coffee. Such purchases are the best
way of telling us you enjoy our show. If we all
prepare to go our separate ways, Robert Ambruster
and the orchestra invite us to join them on a
dizzy trip through a musical nightmare, Midnight
in the Madhouse. At the same time, we'll all
be back for our last visit with you before you
open all those Christmas packages. So we'll have
a little Christmas spirit to share and Charlie
McCarthy will have a rather nice package of his
own to open with you. And out of it will come
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. The characters
will give voice to Walt Disney's new animated
fairy tale. So until then, this is your sincerely
Don Amici saying au revoir. This is Wendell Niles
speaking for Jason Sanborn. This is the web network
of the National Broadcasting Company.