The Johnson's Wax Program with Fibber McGee and
Molly. Makers of Johnson's Wax and Johnson's
Self -Polishing Goldcoat present Fibber McGee
and Molly with Bill Thompson, Gail Gordon, Arthur
Q. Bryan, Dick LeGrand, and me, Harlow Wilcox.
The script is by Don Quinn and Phil Leslie. Music
by the Kingsmen and Billy Mills Orchestra. Look
at your piano tonight or your dining room table.
You'll see smudges or fingerprints that weren't
there yesterday and no dust cloth can take those
smudges off. But there is a cream wax that will
not only clean your furniture, it will polish
it to a high luster and quickly. The fact is
Johnson's cream wax cleans so quickly, dries
so quickly, polishes so quickly that using it
is practically as easy as dusting. With Johnson's
cream wax you can clean and then beautifully
polish a dining room table in less than two minutes.
That's because Johnson's Cream Wax cleans and
dries so rapidly. It's immediately ready for
polishing. And remember, Johnson's Cream Wax
contains no sticky oil to trap dust. So starting
tomorrow, use Johnson's, the cream wax that cleans
so quickly, dries so quickly, polishes so quickly.
The cream wax that makes cleaning and polishing
furniture practically as easy as dusting. That's
Johnson's Cream Wax, the fastest wax furniture
polish you can buy. In these days of mass production
and bargain dress shops, lots of women have never
learned how to sew a seam. Or so it would seem.
But there's a gal at 79 West for Vista who was
brought up to see eye to eye with a needle and
who always knows where the bodice is buried.
Yes, it's Molly McGee of Viva McGee and Molly!
Hey, kiddo. What are you making? Hey, tootsie.
What goes with the throbbing -bobbing? Hey. Speaking
to me, dearie? Yeah. Let the sewing machine cool
off for a minute. My gosh. I haven't heard a
singer take so much abuse since Hope started
ribbing Crosby. What are you making? I'm making
a new dress. Watch those patterns, dearie. Don't
mess them up. I have them all laid out the way
I want them. Oh, okay. If you change them around,
I'm liable to wind up with a gauntless evening
strap with a drooping placket and five sleeves.
Look, dreamboat, why do you have to stab your
pretty little lunch hooks full of needle holes?
The Bontown still sells dresses. I want to make
a dress for you. Besides at the Bontown, I'd
have to wait for a fitting and I need a new dress
this afternoon. This afternoon? What for? Is
the fleet in or something? No, the new president
is dropping in. Harry Truman? Dropping in here?
My gosh, we've got to get the piano tuned. Is,
uh, is Margaret coming too? I never thought we'd
be... No, no, no. Not President Truman. The new
president of Our Lady's Club. Mrs. Armadale.
Mrs. Armadale? Mm -hmm. Ain't that the haughty
old potato sack that always looks like she was
bluffing her way through a reception with a busted
garter? I don't think that's a very fair description,
McGee. I've never met her myself, but Mrs. Armadale
is very important socially in Whistle Vista.
Is that a fact? Yes. Well, curl my pinky and
dunk me a crumpet. What's so important about
her stopping in here? Well, because, dearie,
Mrs. Armadale is about to appoint somebody to
be a delegate to the Ladies Club Convention in
Chicago. And... it might be me. You? Go to Chicago?
Without me? Oh, no. Oh, it's just for three days.
Personally, I don't care too much about going,
but it's considered quite an honor to be selected
as a delegate. Now then, will you do something
for me? Sure, I'll go with you. I didn't mean
that. I want you to go up in the attic and get
my dress form. Your, uh, your dress form? Yes.
I'm about ready to start fitting this dress.
Well, the dress form is, well, it ain't in very
good shape, kiddo. It's kind of chopped up. It's
full of holes. Coming all apart. My dress form?
What's wrong with it? Why should it be all chopped
up? Well, you know that last rainy spell we had?
Yeah? Well, I got kind of bored, see, so I thought
I'd brush up on the old knife -throwing act I
had in Vaudeville. Me and Trez and Whitney. So
the best target I could think of for my knife
-throwing act was the... Heavenly days. I hope
that isn't Mrs. Armadale already. Peek out the
winter McGee and see who it is. Okay. Hey, has
Mrs. Armadale got gray whiskers? Does she wear
a navy button in her buttonhole? Not that I know
of. Then it's the old timer. Come on in, old
timer. Oh, hello there, Mr. Old Timer. Hello,
daughter! Hello, Johnny! Hey, what's going on
here? Looks like you're having a tap in a pool.
No, Molly's running up a new dress, old timer.
Well, good for you, daughter. Sure like to see
a woman make her own clothes. Mama made all us
kids' clothes. My sister wore made -over flower
sacks all through high school, even. Flower sacks?
Yep. Come a windy day once, and from then on,
my sister was known as Madame XXX. I take it
all back. She makes your clothes, too? No, I
inherited mine from Papa. Oh? Peculiar thing
about them pants are Papa's, too. I had to bust
into a run to get them past a saloon. It kind
of turned me in automatic. I'm kind of tired
today though, kids. I've been babysitting all
morning. Aw, who's baby? My sister's. He's 11
years old and honoring as a bee stung mule. Sister's
too little to handle him and his old man is on
the road, so I have to go over now and then and
sit on him. Yes sir, sit on him. I'm the best
babysitter they ever had. And I can't help I
got such sharp hips, you know. He finally decided
to behave himself, eh? Well, I finally rocked
him to sleep, Johnny. Took a rock as big as my
head, but I'd done it. Now I'm almost too tired
to take my piano lesson. Piano? Do you play the
piano? Well, not yet, daughter. Got off to a
wrong start with my lessons, and I'm just now
beginning to get the hang of it. What were you
doing wrong? I was trying to play by ear, but
to give me such a headache, I had to start using
my head. McGee, about that dress form, you say
it's no good because you used it to practice
your knife -throwing act? Yeah, gee, I'm sorry,
baby. If I'd known you were ever gonna... Well,
that's all right, dearie. You'll do just as well.
You're just about my height. Just about my height,
and I can correct the measurements as I go along.
You mean me? I gotta stand here and wear a dress
while you... Hush! You demonstrated your knife
-throwing. Now I'm going to show you my pin -throwing
act. Yeah, but my gosh, Mommy, what... Take off
your coat and hold up your arms. And look what
you've done to my verbs If you were to ask me
who the sweetest one of you was I'd say you was
If you were to ask me who my favorite point of
you was I'd say you was When you're not near
my heart is Inclined to waste away But when you're
here the funny part is My heart is a spherical
lyrical miracle all the day If you were to ask
me who the apple of your eye was I'd say I was
If you were to ask me who your sweet potato pie
was I'd say I was Supposing you pay the visit
to a certain creature Supposing you overheard
me practice and I do And you were to ask me who
the bride and groom to be was I'd say we was
Me and you I've got a heart that hollers When
you're not close to me But when you're near,
it sort of follows There isn't a lovelier heaven,
a bubblier place to be If you were to ask me
who your extra special guy was I would say, indubitably,
irrevocably, I was And if I were to ask you who
your rainbow in the sky was Please say, permanently,
indefinitely, I was Suppose they heard that you
were shopping for a true soul Supposing I bought
you something old and something new and then
you borrowed something blue and they were to
ask you who the bride and groom to be was. We
say we was me and you. Gee whiz, Molly, you got
this material pinned around me so tight I can't
breathe. You got me gasping like a fresh -caught
flounder. Well, I have to pin it tight, dear.
You're a lot thicker around the waist than I
am, you know. Yeah, I know. I should ought to
have put on a girdle. That's what I should ought
to have done. Couple of guys at the Elks wear
them. Hold still. Do they? Yeah, only they don't
call them girdles. They call them potholders.
I asked one guy why he wore a girdle, and he
says it was for morale. Says it helped him keep
a stiff upper lap. Close your arms up. I want
to pin the sides higher. That's it. Oh, Gunnar,
I wish you weren't going to that convention,
kiddo. I suppose you'll have a nice trip, but
gee, you know how I am with you gone, Molly.
Miserable. How's that again? I says I'm miserable
when you're away someplace having fun and...
I'm home by myself. Makes me unhappy just thinking
about it. You certainly don't sound very happy.
You're tickling me. Come in. Oh, McGee, it's
Dr. Gamble. Nice to see you, Doctor. Well, if
it ain't the Prince of Splints. Hi, Fatso. Hello,
Molly. And good day to... Oh, no. What are you
made up for, sack shape? A masquerade Miss Gruesome
of 1949? I'm working on a dress for myself, Doctor.
He's my dummy. You never spoke a truer word,
my dear. Although how you can use McGee for a
model for a dress for you is beyond me. If you
fit that thing to his misshapen contours, it'll
come off looking like a pillowcase full of basketball.
Oh, stop trying, Bustle Bucket, stop trying.
My contours are just as shaping as yours any
day. Hey, incidentally, what are you doing walking
around, measlebate? I thought you were supposed
to be sick. Yes, how do you feel, Doctor? Are
you all well now? Oh, I feel wonderful, Molly.
A week's rest in bed was just what I needed.
Yeah? I, uh... I managed to drop a little weight
while I was sick, if you'll notice, kid. Yeah,
that's swell, Doc. I could tell it right away,
too. Could you? Could you really? Sure, I could.
You must have dropped about 40 pounds. Uh -huh.
From your chest down onto your stomach. Now,
McGee, stop it. Oh, he makes me talk. See, if
you don't mind, Doctor, I wish you'd keep an
eye on himself here next week. I'm going to Chicago
for a few days to a ladies club convention. Yeah,
how do you like that, Fatso? Leaving me all alone
for three whole days. What'll I do? Set fire
to the house, probably. Don't you worry, Molly.
I'll keep him busy. In fact, he can help me with
an operation tomorrow. I'm to demonstrate a new
surgery technique at the hospital. Oh, gee, and
I can help you, Doc? Of course. Well, what can
I do? Hand you the tool? No, all you have to
do is just lie still. I'll do the rest. Go on,
kid. Isn't he a sweet old character, dearie?
Yeah. And nobody's fool either. No, he's everybody's.
Nothing exclusive about Doc. Hey, well let's
get on with this dress. Yes, let's see now. Yeah,
I wish you weren't going away. I guess a dad
ratted lonesome when you and I are separated.
Unless I'm the one that's out of town, of course.
In that case, what's the matter? Oh, I can't
get this neckline right, McGee. I'm trying for
a sort of dreamy drape, but so far it's more
of a drop -stitched droop. Turn around, let's
see the back of it. Like this? Yes, it looks
sort of... That's strange. I don't remember pinning
a bustle into this dress, McGee. Well... Pardon
me for a minute, I thought that... Come in! Hello,
Molly. Oh, Mr. Wilcox, come in. Hi, pal, how's...
Hey, that a dress you've got on, pal? It ain't
a Max Senate bathing suit, Junior. He's just
modeling it for me, Mr. Wilcock. Molly's leaving
for Chicago. Well, I don't blame her. One look
at you in that outfit, pal, and I'd scram, too.
What's the gag, kid? Well, I'm making myself
a new dress, Mr. Wilcock. I expect to go to the
Ladies Club Convention in Chicago next week to
represent the Whistful Vista branch. They're
quite a nice family. Well, that's wonderful,
Molly. You were no doubt selected because you're
the type of woman that Whistful Vista is proud
of. Yep. The type of woman for which the women's
clubs of this country have become famous. Yep.
Your charming, industrious, intelligent... Oh,
now Mr. Wilcox. The type of woman who always
knows all the answers. Sure, she knows all the
answers. She's heard most of them from me at
one time or another. Molly is a perfect example
of the type of woman who'd never think of trying
to run a household without Johnson's Cream Wax,
for instance. because she knows how cream wax
helps her keep her home beautiful. She knows
how cream wax cleans as it wax polishes her light
colored woodwork and white kitchen equipment.
How did we get way out there? Molly knows that
cream wax is different because it polishes with
wax instead of oil and consequently dust can't
cling to it. With just a light dusting, a Johnson
cream wax finish stays bright for months. Just
like thousands of others. Smart American housewives,
Molly has learned how cream wax gives a rich
mellow luster to her furniture and woodwork.
Now it keeps the refrigerator gleaming and all
the stuff around it. Hey, hey, hey, look, look,
waxy. Yes, pal. You know Chicago, Jr. What do
you think makes that town so popular? Well, that's
simple, pal. The location. People flock there
because it's located in such a great spot. Oh,
you mean on the lake, Mr. Wilcox? Lake? I never
noticed a lake, Molly, but just think, Chicago's
only 60 miles from Racine. Oh. What a spot! Have
fun, Molly. Go on, Molly. Happy Carefree Chuckle
and he's on his merry way. Why shouldn't he be
happy? His wife is staying home with him. Let
me move this pen here a little. The hem is sagging
again. What about me? Three dreary days all by
myself. Three days of lonely wandering. From
the Elks to the bowling alley and back to the
Elks. I wish you wouldn't feel so bad me about
this thing, McGee, but it is an honor and I really
should go if Mrs. Armadale asks me to because...
Oh, dear, another interruption. Don't sit down
now, McGee. You're full of tin. Dad, Rad, why
don't people leave us alone? If I have to stand
here in this tap at a toga much longer, I'll...
Come in. Oh, it's the janitor from the Elks,
McGee. Come in, Olly. I should have got this
dressed off first. Dog -gun it. I don't want
to... Oh, hi, Olly. Hello, McGee. Hello, Mrs.
Sire. You used to come by on my lunch hour. You
see, I'm helping Mrs. McGee make a dress, Olly.
This dress here, see? That's how come I got a
dress on, see? I'm helping her make it, see?
You ever help your wife make a dress, Olly? I'm
no color guard, McGee. You're the Yannicker.
I come by to bring you a message. I don't have
to come, you know. I'm on my own time, McGee.
Well, that's very nice of you, Olly. I'm sure
Mr. McGee will pay you for your time. I don't
expect pay when I do errands for McGee. I know
when I start I'm just donating my time. Good.
What's the message? Let's have it. Well, you
asked me to tell you when the last numbers was
coming up on the Elf's punch board. I watched
the punch board. Yeah, it's coming up, huh? Oh,
hey, help me get this dress off, Molly. I gotta
rush down there. The last punch was a radio.
You should have phoned me, Olly. Somebody will
punch it before I can get a - Now, don't bust
your buttons, McGee. Nobody's gonna punch it.
Are you sure they won't, Olly? Sure, I'm sure.
I watched the board. I punched the last number
myself. What? You won the radio? Sure, but don't
get excited, McGee. The Elks had that punch board
so long, the radio was used to crystal set. Well,
thanks for coming over to tell McGee, Ollie.
It was very thoughtful of you. Thoughtful my
clavicle. He stole my idea and took the last
punch himself. Anybody steal ideas from you,
McGee, it's only Perry Lawson -y. And I apologize
to the Lawson's for saying so. Well, I still
think it was a dirty trick I don't have to come
over and tell you McGee, you know and making
no money on my lunch hour and just donating my
time Yes, he is McGee and you should never out
the side door missus. I say That was the Aubergine
Sunflower. or do I have to keep this dress on?
I sure feel silly standing here with my pants,
legs rolled up in this dress. Not much longer
now, dearie. I've got the hem just about right
now, but the sleeves still need a little something.
They must be like a mutton sleeves. I never felt
so sheepish in my life. McGee, stop dropping
cigar ashes on me. Here, use an ashtray. Okay.
Besides, Mrs. Armadale will be here any time
now. Heavenly days, maybe that's... Oh, well.
Come in. Relax, kiddo. It's just Latrivia. Hi,
Elizabeth. Hello, Mr. Mayor. Hello, Molly. Hello,
Mc... Well, that's a very pretty dress you have
on, McGee. Did the Elks run out of women for
their Wednesday Square dance? Oh, cut it out,
will you? I'm just modeling this thing for Molly
because her dressmaker's form is no good. It's
a wreck. Well, I've never met Molly's dressmaker,
but if her form is any more of a wreck than you...
Oh! Oh, you mean her dress form. Her dummy. Yes,
I may go to Chicago for a few days, Mr. Mayor,
and I'm whipping myself up a new prop. Yeah.
And see, does Miss Tremaine ever make any of
her own clothes? She always looks so nice. Oh,
yes. Yes, in fact, she used to make all her own
clothes when she was just starting out on stage.
Oh? A young actress has to save money wherever
she can, of course. You said it. Where did Pee
Pee save her money, La Treve? In a makeup box,
piggy bank, top for stocking her. I knew a juvenile
one time who used to paste $20 bills under his
toupee. He got so rich playing romantic league
that he wore a size 12 hat. Now McGee hold still.
I want to put another pin in. Anyway, as I was
saying, Pee -Pee had rather hard going in those
early days. She really had to economize and everything.
On trains, for instance, she usually took an
upper berth because it was lower. Well, is that
again the truth? I said Peepee often bought an
upper because it was lower. You mean the lower
berth was higher? Higher than the upper berth,
yes. Now wait a minute. I ain't any Einstein
in arithmetic so you better break this thing
down for me. Which was lower, the lower or the
upper? The upper was lower. Well, if the uppers
are lower, why do they use those little ladders
to get into the uppers? Why? Because they're
higher than the lowers. You said the lowers were
higher. No, no, not higher. No, I meant they
were more. More what? More higher, Amy. How much
more higher than the uppers are the lowers, LeFed?
Because the lowers are all - Oh, stop it. You're
deliberately trying to confuse the issue. What?
I merely stated that Mr. Mayor... Now, now, now,
relax, Mr. Mayor. Leave us not shriek at each
other. Let's argue this out quietly. Very well.
Why, certainly. We've all traveled on trains.
Why, sure. We all know we got two kinds of berths
in a train. Uppers and lowers. People who are
on their uppers can't ride on the lowers because
the lowers are higher than the uppers, right?
Yes. So Mr. Maine could just as well have had
a lower. Good. Because if the uppers were lower
than the lowers, then the lowers would be higher
than the uppers. And the upper would then be
the lower. Good. I didn't say Pee -pee -loo had
a higher upper. I had a lower heeper. I mean,
when I said the hoopers were in the lip when
the lower Pee -pee -loo, you keep climbing to
an upper ladder on a lower dipper, you hop into
a loper when the lipper was... La -gee? Yes,
boy? Can you move around all right in that skirt?
Oh, sure, why? Well, I just wanted to know if
you could circulate all right. You know that
yesterday was the first day of spring. Oh, it
was at that, wasn't it? So what, Ladrake? Well,
it affects me like it does a tree. If the sap
can circulate sufficiently... the tree leaves.
Did they? I'll bet he meant something by that.
I bet he did too. Now look, dearie, I'm almost
through. Okay. Will you promise to stand still
and not burn a hole in that dress with your cigar
if I run upstairs and get my pinking, Sherry?
Sure, sure, sure. Anything you say, if you'll
just get me out of this thing. Well, it's almost
finished, Sherry, and you've been awful good
about it. Now don't jump around and I'll be right
back. Now take your time, kiddo, and hurry up.
Ah, there goes a good kid. I sure hope she don't
go to that convention in Chicago. When she's
away, all I ever eat is coffee and donuts. I
get the heartburn so bad you could fry an egg
on my chest. But if she wants to go and I don't
think she does Come in How do you do mrs. McGee?
I am mrs. Armadale Oh, hi mrs. Armadale, but
you're a trifle mistake. I have come mrs. McGee
to ask you to represent our ladies club Oh Is
that a cigar you're smoking? Well, what does
it smell like a cinnamon stick? Smoking cigars,
a short haircut, summer shoes. Yeah, but look
Oh, please, just forget that I called, Mrs. McGee.
Good day. You... Well, how do you know? She thought
I was my wife. Hey, Molly! I just fixed things
for you, kiddo. You don't have to go to Chicago
after all. Don't use a dust cloth so often once
you try Johnson's Cream Wax, for you'll find
that this wax furniture polish cleans so quickly,
dries so quickly, polishes so quickly that using
it is practically as easy as dusting. Tomorrow,
tell your dealer you want Johnson's Cream Wax.
The first chair you clean and polish will reveal
the truth. Johnson's Cream Wax is the fastest
wax polish you can buy. Ladies and gentlemen,
The Red Cross drive for fun is now on. It is
your money which is needed to fight floods, famines,
and other disasters all over the world. So please
give as generously as you can when you're called
on. Remember the symbol of the Red Cross, and
let's help keep it forearmed. Good night. Good
night all. The makers of Johnson's Wax and Johnson's
Self -Polishing Glow Coat, Racing Wisconsin and
Granford, Canada, bring you the film again, Molly,
each week at this time. We will look again next
week, won't you? The kitchens of today can be
more beautiful in 1949 because this year there's
a better, brighter, self -polishing floor wax.
It's 1949 Glow Coat. Yes, bright as it's always
been, this year Glow Coat is brighter than ever,
better than any. Try 1949 Glow Coat on your linoleum
this week. Notice how evenly it spreads. The
protective wax finish remains even after repeated
damp mopping. Get the self -polishing flow wax
that's brighter than ever, better than any. 1949,
blow coat. This is NBC, the national broadcasting
company.