WEBVTT 00:00:02.390 --> 00:00:05.410 For the safety of your smile, use Pepsodent twice 00:00:05.410 --> 00:00:11.650 a day. See your dentist twice a year. Again this 00:00:11.650 --> 00:00:13.630 week, Pepsodent is proud to entertain the men 00:00:13.630 --> 00:00:16.350 and women in our armed forces. Tonight, Pepsodent 00:00:16.350 --> 00:00:19.309 brings to the flexible gunners of the Yuma Army 00:00:19.309 --> 00:00:22.370 Airfield at Yuma, Arizona, the Pepsodent show 00:00:22.370 --> 00:00:45.500 starring Bob Hope. Thank you. Thank you. All 00:00:45.500 --> 00:00:51.340 right, take the sign down. How do you do? How 00:00:51.340 --> 00:00:53.759 do you do? Ladies and gentlemen, this is Bob 00:00:53.759 --> 00:00:56.159 broadcasting from the Yuma Army Airfield Hope, 00:00:56.479 --> 00:00:58.299 telling all you aerial gunners to use Pepsodent 00:00:58.299 --> 00:01:00.079 because you can't get a local girl and settle 00:01:00.079 --> 00:01:02.659 down in Arizona if your teeth make clicking noises 00:01:02.659 --> 00:01:12.469 when you try to telephone her. Well, here we 00:01:12.469 --> 00:01:14.590 are at the Yuma Army Air Base This space is located 00:01:14.590 --> 00:01:17.269 on a mesa Mesa, that's an Arizona goose pimple 00:01:17.269 --> 00:01:21.209 But Yuma is really the Old West I started to 00:01:21.209 --> 00:01:23.150 drag the skeleton of a cow off the sidewalk in 00:01:23.150 --> 00:01:25.150 Yuma And the manager of the Western Union office 00:01:25.150 --> 00:01:27.469 came out and told me to get my own bicycle rack 00:01:27.469 --> 00:01:41.620 Sneaks up on you that joke, doesn't it? Aren't 00:01:41.620 --> 00:01:44.340 you sorry you didn't hide? But anyway, the weather 00:01:44.340 --> 00:01:46.739 here in Yuma is perfect except for an occasional 00:01:46.739 --> 00:01:49.719 soft breeze. Soft breeze, that's the local expression 00:01:49.719 --> 00:01:51.280 meaning let's stand on the corner and watch the 00:01:51.280 --> 00:01:54.980 buildings go by. Yes sir, this is the only place 00:01:54.980 --> 00:01:56.819 in the country where the hangars have more flying 00:01:56.819 --> 00:02:12.229 hours than the airplanes. And they tell me it 00:02:12.229 --> 00:02:14.069 really gets hot here in Yuma. In fact, around 00:02:14.069 --> 00:02:15.550 here, you don't ask a guy what's cooking. You 00:02:15.550 --> 00:02:24.949 just say, how well done are you? I don't know 00:02:24.949 --> 00:02:26.689 how hot it gets in Yuma, but the other day I 00:02:26.689 --> 00:02:28.629 saw a rattlesnake and he was crawling under a 00:02:28.629 --> 00:02:35.750 cow looking for a faucet marked cold. And Yuma 00:02:35.750 --> 00:02:37.590 is full of marriage parlors. Marriage parlor, 00:02:37.629 --> 00:02:40.539 that's sort of a booby trap. That is if you're 00:02:40.539 --> 00:02:43.919 boob enough to open your trap in one But the 00:02:43.919 --> 00:02:46.020 justices of peace here charge as much as five 00:02:46.020 --> 00:02:47.979 dollars They have to charge a little more to 00:02:47.979 --> 00:02:58.180 repair the skid marks on the carpet One soldier 00:02:58.180 --> 00:03:00.219 got married in such a hurry that two days later 00:03:00.219 --> 00:03:01.960 he and his bride were still going around trying 00:03:01.960 --> 00:03:05.680 to find a mutual friend to introduce him And 00:03:05.680 --> 00:03:09.400 there's really... And there's really a serious 00:03:09.400 --> 00:03:11.319 housing shortage here in Yuma In fact, the other 00:03:11.319 --> 00:03:14.159 day a B -17 drove a little too close to the ground 00:03:14.159 --> 00:03:16.099 and before he could pull out of it a real estate 00:03:16.099 --> 00:03:18.000 agent rented out the ball turret to a family 00:03:18.000 --> 00:03:35.460 from Oklahoma And these boys here are waste gunners 00:03:35.460 --> 00:03:37.219 and I found out why they're called waste gunners 00:03:37.449 --> 00:03:39.330 On Saturday nights, that's what they go gunning 00:03:39.330 --> 00:03:48.110 for. Colonel Anderson, the CO here, used to be 00:03:48.110 --> 00:03:49.990 in the Navy and has never quite gotten over it. 00:03:50.289 --> 00:03:51.909 This is the only camp where they issue soldiers' 00:03:52.250 --> 00:03:54.310 pants three sizes too small so they look like 00:03:54.310 --> 00:04:04.900 sailors. These boys here practice on targets 00:04:04.900 --> 00:04:07.599 flying across the sky and the last two days they've 00:04:07.599 --> 00:04:09.520 been busier than usual shooting down privates 00:04:09.520 --> 00:04:11.340 who cross the border New Year's Eve for a glass 00:04:11.340 --> 00:04:18.740 of tequila Tequila is a little different from 00:04:18.740 --> 00:04:20.800 an American drink You count five before you pull 00:04:20.800 --> 00:04:24.079 the ripcord And a lot of these guys went into 00:04:24.079 --> 00:04:25.720 Yuma to celebrate the New Year and they really 00:04:25.720 --> 00:04:27.740 didn't do much to Yuma Of course it may take 00:04:27.740 --> 00:04:29.420 the city a little time to slip the streets back 00:04:29.420 --> 00:04:32.750 under the houses again And for a practical joke, 00:04:32.850 --> 00:04:35.050 some of these soldiers filled a B -17 with tequila 00:04:35.050 --> 00:04:37.829 instead of gas. I don't know what happened, but 00:04:37.829 --> 00:04:39.689 three hours later it was sighted over the Philippines 00:04:39.689 --> 00:04:55.300 doing the rumba with a B -29. But they're really 00:04:55.300 --> 00:04:57.120 very nice to the boys here. On New Year's morning, 00:04:57.220 --> 00:04:58.839 if one of these soldiers didn't feel like getting 00:04:58.839 --> 00:05:01.019 up, he just said to his sergeant, Sarge, old 00:05:01.019 --> 00:05:02.540 kid, I'm just going to stay here in bed and catch 00:05:02.540 --> 00:05:04.779 a few more winks. And the sergeant would smile 00:05:04.779 --> 00:05:06.980 sweetly down at him and say, what's the matter, 00:05:07.100 --> 00:05:16.620 you crazy or something? Well, it's Professor 00:05:16.620 --> 00:05:18.600 Colona, the man who brought his own cactus plant 00:05:18.600 --> 00:05:22.220 along with him. Tell me, Professor, did you imbibe 00:05:22.220 --> 00:05:24.439 too freely this New Year's Eve? I'm not quite 00:05:24.439 --> 00:05:26.420 sure, Hope, but the next morning, the Alka -Seltzer 00:05:26.420 --> 00:05:29.939 listened to me fizz. I'm only kidding, Hope. 00:05:29.959 --> 00:05:31.579 When I woke up, I was in the pink. You were in 00:05:31.579 --> 00:05:33.420 the pink? Yes, and so were the two elephants 00:05:33.420 --> 00:05:37.279 sitting on my bureau. Well, look, when you wake 00:05:37.279 --> 00:05:39.199 up, do you do anything for your hangover, Professor? 00:05:39.399 --> 00:05:41.180 Well, last two years, I took a head of the dog 00:05:41.180 --> 00:05:42.740 that bit me. You did? Well, what'd you do this 00:05:42.740 --> 00:05:46.800 New Year's? Swallowed a cock of spaniel. I haven't 00:05:46.800 --> 00:05:49.740 really hope. I didn't do much celebrating. Get 00:05:49.740 --> 00:05:52.319 away, don't bother me I had a very mild evening 00:05:52.319 --> 00:05:54.660 Later, later, don't bother me I spent a quiet 00:05:54.660 --> 00:05:57.500 time Get away, get away Professor, professor, 00:05:57.540 --> 00:05:59.639 what's going on? Little green men want to go 00:05:59.639 --> 00:06:06.139 back to the Valley Cafe I've been hoping Little 00:06:06.139 --> 00:06:08.220 green men, huh? Yes, I'm a little worried about 00:06:08.220 --> 00:06:09.939 those little green men following me Well, after 00:06:09.939 --> 00:06:11.360 all, Kelowna, you had little green men following 00:06:11.360 --> 00:06:13.240 you around last New Year's Day too, didn't you? 00:06:13.459 --> 00:06:17.290 I know, but this year they were in P38 And what 00:06:17.290 --> 00:06:19.569 a wild party! Was it really a wild party, Professor? 00:06:19.689 --> 00:06:21.290 Was it. One of these aerial gunners got a little 00:06:21.290 --> 00:06:23.069 tall. He thought he could fly without a plane. 00:06:23.470 --> 00:06:25.110 So he stood on the windowsill and flapped his 00:06:25.110 --> 00:06:27.290 arms. Oh, Kelowna, that's ridiculous. No human 00:06:27.290 --> 00:06:29.870 being can fly. That's what I told him every time 00:06:29.870 --> 00:06:31.350 he circled the house and asked for a weather 00:06:31.350 --> 00:06:43.990 report. Professor! Have you any statement to 00:06:43.990 --> 00:06:45.829 make about the year that just ended? Yes, Hope. 00:06:46.250 --> 00:06:48.310 1944 was just like any other year. The women 00:06:48.310 --> 00:06:50.029 got the best of it again. The women got the best 00:06:50.029 --> 00:06:51.689 of it. Can you prove that, Koloda? Of course, 00:06:51.689 --> 00:06:54.029 Hope. Just look at our first family. Franklin 00:06:54.029 --> 00:06:59.089 was running and Eleanor traveled by plane. Thank 00:06:59.089 --> 00:07:07.029 you, Professor. Poor Miriam Poor Miriam Expected 00:07:07.029 --> 00:07:10.129 using irium So she waited poor thing for the 00:07:10.129 --> 00:07:22.759 phone to ring. Hello. No matter how many toothpaste 00:07:22.759 --> 00:07:25.220 you've tried, no matter how good a job you think 00:07:25.220 --> 00:07:28.740 your present brand is doing, change now to Pepsodent 00:07:28.740 --> 00:07:32.100 toothpaste. And in just one week, see if you 00:07:32.100 --> 00:07:34.920 don't find new brightness in your teeth, new 00:07:34.920 --> 00:07:38.759 sparkle in your smile. You see, Pepsodent, and 00:07:38.759 --> 00:07:42.860 only Pepsodent, contains irium. the exclusive 00:07:42.860 --> 00:07:46.000 cleansing ingredient. And pepsidum toothpaste 00:07:46.000 --> 00:07:49.160 with irium removes the film that makes your teeth 00:07:49.160 --> 00:07:52.720 look dull. It loosens film and floats it away 00:07:52.720 --> 00:07:57.620 quickly, easily, safely. Because it removes film, 00:07:58.000 --> 00:08:01.040 pepsidum toothpaste with irium brings new brightness 00:08:01.040 --> 00:08:04.100 to your teeth. No wonder more people than ever 00:08:04.100 --> 00:08:08.079 before use pepsidum toothpaste today. No wonder 00:08:08.079 --> 00:08:11.230 it's number one with the armed forces. So forget 00:08:11.230 --> 00:08:14.009 other brands you've tried. Change to Pepsodent 00:08:14.009 --> 00:08:17.550 toothpaste with irium. And in just one week, 00:08:17.970 --> 00:08:20.850 see the difference. See if your teeth don't feel 00:08:20.850 --> 00:08:24.410 cleaner, look brighter. See how it uncovers the 00:08:24.410 --> 00:08:27.810 natural brilliance of your smile. Ask for refreshing 00:08:27.810 --> 00:08:32.029 Pepsodent toothpaste. Because Pepsodent, and 00:08:32.029 --> 00:08:38.769 only Pepsodent, contains irium. Dear Miriam, 00:08:39.149 --> 00:08:42.809 dear Miriam, now she's heard of Iriam, so the 00:08:42.809 --> 00:08:46.370 telephone ring is a busy thing. Hello. Some number. 00:08:46.590 --> 00:08:50.909 Oh, hello. Some number. So folks, just be like 00:08:50.909 --> 00:09:00.669 Miriam, Euserian. Here comes those Andrew sisters. 00:09:01.210 --> 00:09:18.889 The Andrew sisters. from my Chicago way. He had 00:09:18.889 --> 00:09:20.970 a boogie style that no one else could play. He 00:09:20.970 --> 00:09:24.210 was the top man at his craft. But then his number 00:09:24.210 --> 00:09:26.450 came up and he was gone with the draft. He's 00:09:26.450 --> 00:09:29.389 in the army now, a -blowin' Reveille. He's the 00:09:29.389 --> 00:09:32.090 boogie, wonky, bugle boy of Company B. That made 00:09:32.090 --> 00:09:34.830 him blow a bugle for his Uncle Sam. It really 00:09:34.830 --> 00:09:36.970 brought him down because he couldn't jam. The 00:09:36.970 --> 00:09:39.960 captain seemed to understand. Because the next 00:09:39.960 --> 00:09:42.340 day the cat went out and drafted a band And now 00:09:42.340 --> 00:09:45.000 the company jumps when he plays ravelry He's 00:09:45.000 --> 00:09:48.139 a boogie -woogie bugle boy of Company B A toot, 00:09:48.240 --> 00:09:50.679 a toot, a tootin' attitude He rolls a date to 00:09:50.679 --> 00:09:53.820 the bar in boogie rhythm He can't blow a note 00:09:53.820 --> 00:09:57.220 unless the bass and guitar is playin' with him 00:09:57.220 --> 00:10:00.340 He makes the company jump when he plays ravelry 00:10:00.340 --> 00:10:03.440 He's a boogie -woogie bugle boy of Company B 00:10:03.440 --> 00:10:06.600 He was a boogie -woogie bugle boy of Company 00:10:06.600 --> 00:10:11.320 B and when he plays boogie boogie bugle he was 00:10:11.320 --> 00:10:14.620 busy as a bee and when he plays he makes the 00:10:14.620 --> 00:10:17.080 company jump A to the bar he's a boogie boogie 00:10:17.080 --> 00:10:22.299 bugle boy of company B he blows the date to the 00:10:22.299 --> 00:10:26.820 bar he can blow a note if the bass and guitar 00:10:26.820 --> 00:10:30.860 isn't with him the company jumps and he plays 00:10:30.860 --> 00:10:33.919 ravelly he's a boogie boogie bugle boy of company 00:10:33.919 --> 00:10:37.000 B he books a boy to sleep a boogie every night 00:10:37.129 --> 00:10:39.529 And wakes him up the same way in the early bright 00:10:39.529 --> 00:10:42.570 They clap their hands and stamp their feet Because 00:10:42.570 --> 00:10:44.490 they know how he plays and someone gives them 00:10:44.490 --> 00:10:47.409 a beat He really breaks it up when he plays ravelry 00:10:47.409 --> 00:10:50.509 He's the boogie woogie bugle boy of Company B 00:10:50.509 --> 00:11:03.769 And the company jumps when he plays ravelry He's 00:11:03.769 --> 00:11:37.560 the boogie woogie bugle boy of Company B Don't 00:11:37.560 --> 00:11:42.200 pass me in. Say, look out there at that cloud 00:11:42.200 --> 00:11:45.480 of dust, the common. Why, it's the stagecoach. 00:11:48.840 --> 00:11:54.240 He can't. Must have pushed the wrong pedal. Whoa! 00:11:54.799 --> 00:11:58.279 Whoa! Whoa! Yeah, he won't. Whoa, I'll stop him. 00:11:58.440 --> 00:12:03.240 I'll grab his tail and pull on it. Well, it'll 00:12:03.240 --> 00:12:09.200 come in handy for dusting the furniture. Ah, 00:12:09.259 --> 00:12:11.159 this is where I get off, driver. I'll open the 00:12:11.159 --> 00:12:18.120 door for you. Silly me. Wrong side. Well, look 00:12:18.120 --> 00:12:20.700 who's coming up the path. Why, it's a drag -along 00:12:20.700 --> 00:12:36.899 hope. The barrel opened. Gee. Gee, what do you 00:12:36.899 --> 00:12:41.820 know, gals. I'm Patty. I'm Maxine. I'm Laverne. 00:12:41.960 --> 00:12:47.000 I'm available. Yes, sir, gals. Just blew in from 00:12:47.000 --> 00:12:49.320 Hollywood. Let's say you got back here just in 00:12:49.320 --> 00:12:51.340 the right time, partner. The bloom is on the 00:12:51.340 --> 00:12:53.279 sage. Bloom is on the sage. Won't they dry quicker 00:12:53.279 --> 00:13:05.799 if you hang them on the clothesline? Dragalong, 00:13:06.019 --> 00:13:08.899 you've changed. Huh? I said you've changed. How'd 00:13:08.899 --> 00:13:10.899 you get so bow -legged? Oh, I smoked one of those 00:13:10.899 --> 00:13:14.519 Mexican cigarettes. And you got bow -legged? 00:13:14.580 --> 00:13:18.460 Yeah, I made a bad landing. And I want to tell 00:13:18.460 --> 00:13:20.759 you, I'm too bow -legged. You're too bow -legged? 00:13:20.879 --> 00:13:22.820 Yeah, twice last week, my horse ran away and 00:13:22.820 --> 00:13:27.480 I didn't know about it. Gee, Dragalong. When 00:13:27.480 --> 00:13:29.840 you left, you were just another cowboy. Are you 00:13:29.840 --> 00:13:32.100 really a famous western movie star now? Well, 00:13:32.100 --> 00:13:35.580 I hope to kiss a pig. Well, okay, but be careful 00:13:35.580 --> 00:13:47.480 you don't cut your lips on the mirror. Well, 00:13:47.519 --> 00:13:49.379 I'm doing great, gals. I just got through making 00:13:49.379 --> 00:13:51.059 a picture with an Indian boy. I don't suppose 00:13:51.059 --> 00:13:53.399 you gals have heard a little beaver. No, but 00:13:53.399 --> 00:13:55.600 on Saturday nights in Yuma, we run into plenty 00:13:55.600 --> 00:14:01.980 of eager beavers. Did you meet any of them Hollywood 00:14:01.980 --> 00:14:04.159 celebrities, Dragalong? Did I even touch Betty 00:14:04.159 --> 00:14:06.080 Grable? You did? Yeah, how do you think I got 00:14:06.080 --> 00:14:10.639 the car fare back here? Say, Dragalong, you got 00:14:10.639 --> 00:14:12.340 your horse here with you. Yeah, don't me and 00:14:12.340 --> 00:14:14.460 Silver make a pretty picture standing side by 00:14:14.460 --> 00:14:17.620 side? Oh my, he's mighty pretty all right. Here, 00:14:17.700 --> 00:14:21.600 have a lump of sugar. Now here's one for you, 00:14:21.840 --> 00:14:31.779 Silver. Drag -a -long, how about showing us some 00:14:31.779 --> 00:14:33.120 of that trick riding you learned in Hollywood? 00:14:33.159 --> 00:14:34.740 Wanna see a little trick riding? Okay, I'll walk 00:14:34.740 --> 00:14:36.679 over and get a couple of horses from the corral. 00:14:38.799 --> 00:14:40.820 No doubt about it, I gotta get these spurs shortened. 00:14:42.759 --> 00:14:44.899 These are my sure big spurs, Drag -a -long. Yeah, 00:14:44.899 --> 00:14:46.539 I like them big. After the war is over, I'm gonna 00:14:46.539 --> 00:14:49.440 have them made into a Ford. Say, gal! Now I'll 00:14:49.440 --> 00:14:51.179 show you some fancy riding. Watch, I'll ride 00:14:51.179 --> 00:14:53.419 two horses standing up with my foot on each one. 00:14:53.639 --> 00:14:57.139 Here I go! Hey, watch out, Drag -a -long! I'm 00:14:57.139 --> 00:15:11.169 okay! But the horses are going... And good luck, 00:15:11.330 --> 00:15:13.129 Andrews sisters, on your new show, The 8 to the 00:15:13.129 --> 00:15:15.049 Bar Ranch, every Sunday. I'll be over to visit 00:15:15.049 --> 00:15:18.669 you soon, partners. Despite years of faithful 00:15:18.669 --> 00:15:21.090 brushing, despite any other toothpaste you've 00:15:21.090 --> 00:15:24.129 tried, see if your teeth aren't noticeably brighter 00:15:24.129 --> 00:15:27.629 in just one week after you change to Pepsodent 00:15:27.629 --> 00:15:31.419 toothpaste. You see, Pepsodent toothpaste contains 00:15:31.419 --> 00:15:35.600 irium, the exclusive cleansing ingredient. Pepsodent 00:15:35.600 --> 00:15:38.879 toothpaste with irium removes the film that makes 00:15:38.879 --> 00:15:42.159 your teeth look dull. It loosens film and floats 00:15:42.159 --> 00:15:47.179 it away quickly, easily, safely. Brings new brilliance 00:15:47.179 --> 00:15:50.139 to your teeth. So forget other brands you've 00:15:50.139 --> 00:15:53.820 tried. Change to Pepsodent toothpaste. And in 00:15:53.820 --> 00:15:56.720 just one week, see the difference in the brightness 00:15:56.720 --> 00:16:00.529 of your teeth. the sparkle of your smile. Ask 00:16:00.529 --> 00:16:04.190 for refreshing pepsident toothpaste, because 00:16:04.190 --> 00:16:08.929 pepsident, and only pepsident, contains irium. 00:16:11.730 --> 00:16:15.470 Dear Miriam, dear Miriam, now she's heard of 00:16:15.470 --> 00:16:18.570 irium, so the telephone ring is a busy thing. 00:16:23.230 --> 00:16:58.139 So folks, just be like Miriam, Euserian! together 00:16:58.139 --> 00:17:10.720 laughed at the rain together sang love's refrain 00:17:10.720 --> 00:17:20.220 together and we'd both pretend it would never 00:17:32.609 --> 00:18:53.369 Have fun! Well, 1944 has ended and tonight we 00:18:53.369 --> 00:19:02.170 find Bob Hope facing 1945. That was 1945. But 00:19:02.170 --> 00:19:05.210 it's been a wonderful 1944. Bob's performances 00:19:05.210 --> 00:19:07.250 in the movies were of a type you're not have 00:19:07.250 --> 00:19:09.950 to forget for a long time. Although Ovaltine 00:19:09.950 --> 00:19:16.400 helps. At the famous Academy Award dinner, the 00:19:16.400 --> 00:19:18.119 president of the award committee watches with 00:19:18.119 --> 00:19:20.859 a big smile on his face as Bob reaches out his 00:19:20.859 --> 00:19:25.619 hand for the Oscar. You'll never use those knuckles 00:19:25.619 --> 00:19:34.500 again. And it was in 1944 that Bob's book, I 00:19:34.500 --> 00:19:36.839 Never Left Home, came out and Bob was acclaimed 00:19:36.839 --> 00:19:39.240 as a famous author. After reading I Never Left 00:19:39.240 --> 00:19:41.740 Home, one reviewer was so impressed he telephoned 00:19:41.740 --> 00:19:44.599 Bob and said, Mr. Hope. I can only say that I 00:19:44.599 --> 00:19:46.819 am proud and deeply gratified that the author 00:19:46.819 --> 00:19:49.400 of such a book is a native of Los Angeles Well 00:19:49.400 --> 00:19:52.000 thanks, which paper are you with? New York Times 00:19:52.000 --> 00:20:02.039 Naturally, Bob is wondering what will happen 00:20:02.039 --> 00:20:05.160 to him in 1945 We find him walking down the main 00:20:05.160 --> 00:20:07.420 street of Yuma with his bone companion, Skinny 00:20:07.420 --> 00:20:12.990 Ennis Well, come on, Skin. Let's walk around 00:20:12.990 --> 00:20:17.970 human. Well, should we walk around it again? 00:20:29.789 --> 00:20:31.910 Hey, Bob. Bob, where are we going? Well, let's 00:20:31.910 --> 00:20:33.589 find a gypsy fortune teller. We can find out 00:20:33.589 --> 00:20:34.950 what's going to happen to us this year and then 00:20:34.950 --> 00:20:41.000 we can smoke the tea leaves. Look, here's a place, 00:20:41.559 --> 00:20:44.519 Bob. Madame Zaza, fortune teller. Let's go in. 00:20:45.019 --> 00:20:56.240 Yee -haw, Mr. Hobbs! Well, Vera Vane! Well, it's 00:20:56.240 --> 00:21:00.039 Vera Vane. Call out the riot squad. It's Bob 00:21:00.039 --> 00:21:08.339 who put on your gas mask. Well, Miss Vague, what 00:21:08.339 --> 00:21:10.500 are you doing here at Madame Zaza? Well, I'm 00:21:10.500 --> 00:21:12.940 really a mind reader, Mr. Hope, but come on in 00:21:12.940 --> 00:21:20.859 anyway. I'll sell your fortune with tea leaves, 00:21:20.980 --> 00:21:22.799 Mr. Hope, as soon as I can get some hot water 00:21:22.799 --> 00:21:24.779 in a tea bag. Oh, fine. Would you mind using 00:21:24.779 --> 00:21:28.180 a new bag for me? I use nothing else. You won't 00:21:28.180 --> 00:21:36.400 find an old bag around here. That really doesn't 00:21:36.400 --> 00:21:42.839 need an answer, does it? Oh, forget it! Oh, you 00:21:42.839 --> 00:21:47.539 dear boy Why don't you take off your hat and 00:21:47.539 --> 00:21:55.619 show this cactus around here a real point? Now 00:21:55.619 --> 00:21:57.039 come on, Ms. Vague, I'm in a hurry. Will you 00:21:57.039 --> 00:21:59.019 read my mind? All right, all right. Now relax. 00:21:59.140 --> 00:22:01.000 Just relax, Mr. Hope. You're my first customer 00:22:01.000 --> 00:22:03.000 at mind reading. Let's see. Where is it? Where 00:22:03.000 --> 00:22:05.140 is it? Oh, yes. Here's your mind right over here. 00:22:06.539 --> 00:22:09.640 Oh, you found it pretty quick, didn't you? Beginner's 00:22:09.640 --> 00:22:13.500 luck, I guess. So you're a mind reader, Ms. Vague? 00:22:13.640 --> 00:22:15.980 Yes, and you know, Mr. Holt, Cary Grant was here 00:22:15.980 --> 00:22:18.200 the other day and I read his mind, but he left 00:22:18.200 --> 00:22:19.819 in a hurry. Why did he leave in such a hurry, 00:22:19.859 --> 00:22:21.799 Ms. Vague? Well, while I was reading his mind, 00:22:21.819 --> 00:22:29.640 he read mine. I see what you mean. Oh dear, the 00:22:29.640 --> 00:22:32.319 life of a gypsy. I flipped here and I flipped 00:22:32.319 --> 00:22:34.440 there looking for romance. Really, Ms. Vague? 00:22:34.579 --> 00:22:36.299 Supposing you met a fellow like Skinny Ennis? 00:22:36.799 --> 00:22:45.640 I'd get another can of flits. Yeah, I'm very 00:22:45.640 --> 00:22:47.759 good at palm reading, Mr. Holt. Here, let me 00:22:47.759 --> 00:22:50.500 look at your hair in a minute there. Oh, goodness. 00:22:50.799 --> 00:22:53.319 I can see you're a man of great wealth and influence. 00:22:53.400 --> 00:22:54.900 Wealth and influence? How can you tell that, 00:22:54.960 --> 00:22:57.140 Ms. Vague, by the lifelines in my palm? No, by 00:22:57.140 --> 00:23:03.500 the nicotine stains on your fingers. Well, have 00:23:03.500 --> 00:23:05.319 you seen Professor Kelowna, Ms. Vague? He was 00:23:05.319 --> 00:23:06.980 supposed to join me here and see what I was gonna 00:23:06.980 --> 00:23:10.079 make of myself in 1945. I see. Perhaps he has 00:23:10.079 --> 00:23:16.509 a weak stomach. Hey, maybe that's Kelowna now. 00:23:16.589 --> 00:23:18.630 He said he'd look me up a Hindu Swami today. 00:23:18.650 --> 00:23:20.930 Hello? Hello, Hope. I am looking for the Swami, 00:23:21.049 --> 00:23:22.630 but I expect a little trouble getting there. 00:23:22.869 --> 00:23:25.329 Tell me, can an elephant fly an airplane? Of 00:23:25.329 --> 00:23:27.750 course an elephant can't fly an airplane. Now, 00:23:27.750 --> 00:23:36.069 see? You better land this thing, Jumbo. Kelowna, 00:23:37.210 --> 00:23:38.869 you've got splinters in your head. What kind 00:23:38.869 --> 00:23:40.930 of plane are you flying? Must be a Mustang. Professor, 00:23:40.970 --> 00:23:42.819 what makes you think it's a Mustang? It's got 00:23:42.819 --> 00:23:47.420 a long bushy tail. That's the windsock. Professor, 00:23:47.440 --> 00:23:50.599 why don't you pay a... Professor, why don't you 00:23:50.599 --> 00:23:52.740 pay a visit to the Lunatic Asylum? Okay, Hope, 00:23:52.859 --> 00:23:57.839 what time will you be home? Don't bother me. 00:23:58.180 --> 00:24:00.299 Don't bother me now, Colon. I'm having my fortune 00:24:00.299 --> 00:24:02.400 told. Having your fortune told? Hold everything, 00:24:02.400 --> 00:24:04.319 Hope. I'll fly to India and get a real Swami 00:24:04.319 --> 00:24:19.880 to tell you fortune. Stubborn son of a gun, wasn't 00:24:19.880 --> 00:24:30.720 he? Oh boy, that Kelowna. I think William Tell 00:24:30.720 --> 00:24:32.920 shot his head off and he's using the apple now. 00:24:34.019 --> 00:24:35.420 Well, let's get back to the mind reading, Miss 00:24:35.420 --> 00:24:38.119 Vague. Yes, yes. Hello, Bob. Oh, hello, Miss 00:24:38.119 --> 00:24:41.339 Vague. May I join you? Oh, well, Miss Lang said, 00:24:41.400 --> 00:24:45.160 of course. Darling, come right in. Here's a chair, 00:24:45.279 --> 00:24:47.299 dear. Sit down and take a mess off your feet. 00:24:50.799 --> 00:24:52.859 My, but that's a lovely gypsy costume you're 00:24:52.859 --> 00:24:55.660 wearing this day. Oh, thank you. Tell me, is 00:24:55.660 --> 00:24:57.960 it ready -made or do you have your own awning 00:24:57.960 --> 00:25:04.119 company? Oh, you sweet child, you. I don't see 00:25:04.119 --> 00:25:06.019 why... Why you came to a fortune teller, dear? 00:25:06.119 --> 00:25:07.960 Why don't you just take that wig of yours off 00:25:07.960 --> 00:25:16.000 and use your own crystal ball? Now wait a minute, 00:25:16.259 --> 00:25:18.339 girls I want you two girls to kiss and make up 00:25:18.339 --> 00:25:20.079 for the New Year Frances, kiss Miss Vague on 00:25:20.079 --> 00:25:22.579 the cheek Oh, all right, here That's sweet Now 00:25:22.579 --> 00:25:28.180 Miss Vague, you kiss Frances on the cheek Sorry, 00:25:28.440 --> 00:25:34.319 dear, chapped lips I'll get it Hello? Hello, 00:25:34.440 --> 00:25:36.460 Hope I got the Swami and we're flying in on the 00:25:36.460 --> 00:25:38.460 beam and it's pretty embarrassing It's embarrassing 00:25:38.460 --> 00:25:41.299 to be flying in on the beam? Yes All the other 00:25:41.299 --> 00:25:49.940 pilots have airplanes What is your position, 00:25:50.140 --> 00:25:52.079 Kelowna? I'm five miles above the Rocky Mountains, 00:25:52.299 --> 00:25:54.059 Hope and I just want to ask you one thing What 00:25:54.059 --> 00:26:06.250 is it, Kelowna? Got a spare gas coupon You're... 00:26:06.250 --> 00:26:08.210 You're really in trouble then, Kelowna. Yeah, 00:26:08.329 --> 00:26:10.309 yes, Hope. My plane's on fire, my wings are gone, 00:26:10.349 --> 00:26:13.049 my motor's missing, and my tail's off. Kelowna, 00:26:13.089 --> 00:26:14.690 your plane's on fire, your wings are off, your 00:26:14.690 --> 00:26:17.289 motor's missing, and your tail's off? Yes. Think 00:26:17.289 --> 00:26:22.569 I ought to jump? Professor, stop fooling around 00:26:22.569 --> 00:26:24.650 and get on over here. Okay, Hope, I'm right overhead. 00:26:25.009 --> 00:26:26.730 I'll swoop down and make a perfect landing in 00:26:26.730 --> 00:26:40.250 the front yard. Here I come. Should have let 00:26:40.250 --> 00:26:50.470 the wheels down. Well, Hope, here's the Swami. 00:26:51.210 --> 00:26:54.789 Okay, Swam, you're on. Well, I see you have a 00:26:54.789 --> 00:26:56.950 crystal ball, Swami. Yes, I can look into my 00:26:56.950 --> 00:26:58.690 crystal ball and see everything that is going 00:26:58.690 --> 00:27:01.549 to happen. It's wonderful, wonderful. It is? 00:27:01.549 --> 00:27:04.009 Why? I can keep two weeks ahead of Dick Tracy. 00:27:05.650 --> 00:27:08.549 I shall now summon the spirit. Acra, cra -da 00:27:08.549 --> 00:27:11.670 -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da 00:27:11.670 --> 00:27:13.829 -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da 00:27:13.829 --> 00:27:13.829 -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da 00:27:13.829 --> 00:27:13.849 -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da 00:27:13.849 --> 00:27:13.910 -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da 00:27:13.910 --> 00:27:13.910 -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da 00:27:13.910 --> 00:27:14.170 -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da 00:27:14.170 --> 00:27:19.390 -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da 00:27:19.390 --> 00:27:33.660 -da -da -da -da - Are you there? Are you there? 00:27:34.059 --> 00:27:35.720 I'm having a little trouble getting out of this 00:27:35.720 --> 00:27:49.720 world. Alfred Malone, didn't I? I just want to 00:27:49.720 --> 00:27:52.119 say I want to thank Colonel Herbert W. Anderson 00:27:52.119 --> 00:27:55.000 for another fine trip and for all the details 00:27:55.000 --> 00:27:57.539 of the show. Also want to thank Lieutenant Colonel 00:27:57.539 --> 00:28:01.329 George W. Davis, Major Joseph W. Limerick. and 00:28:01.329 --> 00:28:04.390 my good friend, Lieutenant Don Budge, my old 00:28:04.390 --> 00:28:07.269 tennis partner, and all you aerial gunners for 00:28:07.269 --> 00:28:09.529 your wonderful reception here tonight. Well, 00:28:09.609 --> 00:28:11.829 sir, all over the country, people have taken 00:28:11.829 --> 00:28:14.609 down the Christmas tree. Junior's broken half 00:28:14.609 --> 00:28:16.710 his toys, and Daddy's broken the other half, 00:28:17.509 --> 00:28:19.990 and Mother's about ready for a rest home. And 00:28:19.990 --> 00:28:22.109 everywhere you go, you bump into New Year's resolutions. 00:28:22.950 --> 00:28:24.529 Some of these are going to be mighty easy to 00:28:24.529 --> 00:28:27.500 keep, too, like laying off cigarettes. If you'd 00:28:27.500 --> 00:28:29.839 like to swear off long automobile trips, the 00:28:29.839 --> 00:28:32.579 OPA will be glad to help you. Seriously, all 00:28:32.579 --> 00:28:34.440 of us on the show want to thank you for the generous 00:28:34.440 --> 00:28:36.460 helping of friendship you dished out to us in 00:28:36.460 --> 00:28:40.079 1944. And being reasonably normal individuals, 00:28:40.119 --> 00:28:42.240 we of course are proud of the size of our radio 00:28:42.240 --> 00:28:44.740 audience and grateful too because, keep this 00:28:44.740 --> 00:28:47.539 under your hat, but my sponsor's funny. He has 00:28:47.539 --> 00:28:49.319 to catch the check and he likes a lot of people 00:28:49.319 --> 00:28:51.559 listening. I know that you're not interested 00:28:51.559 --> 00:28:53.660 in getting any personal New Year's resolutions 00:28:53.660 --> 00:28:56.200 from me. Besides, I'm not sending out any this 00:28:56.200 --> 00:28:58.660 year. So I'll just say that we've resolved to 00:28:58.660 --> 00:29:00.880 go on bouncing around at camps and bases and 00:29:00.880 --> 00:29:02.720 hospitals for as long as the boys will put up 00:29:02.720 --> 00:29:05.279 with us. That's our combined New Year's promise 00:29:05.279 --> 00:29:07.559 to you, fellas. And there's only one thing I 00:29:07.559 --> 00:29:11.099 ask in return. In 1945, when we shoot the jokes 00:29:11.099 --> 00:29:13.220 at you, laugh if you want to, but please don't 00:29:13.220 --> 00:29:14.160 shoot at us.