For the safety of your smile, use Pepsodent twice
a day. See your dentist twice a year. Again this
week, Pepsodent is proud to entertain the men
and women in our armed forces. Tonight, Pepsodent
brings to the flexible gunners of the Yuma Army
Airfield at Yuma, Arizona, the Pepsodent show
starring Bob Hope. Thank you. Thank you. All
right, take the sign down. How do you do? How
do you do? Ladies and gentlemen, this is Bob
broadcasting from the Yuma Army Airfield Hope,
telling all you aerial gunners to use Pepsodent
because you can't get a local girl and settle
down in Arizona if your teeth make clicking noises
when you try to telephone her. Well, here we
are at the Yuma Army Air Base This space is located
on a mesa Mesa, that's an Arizona goose pimple
But Yuma is really the Old West I started to
drag the skeleton of a cow off the sidewalk in
Yuma And the manager of the Western Union office
came out and told me to get my own bicycle rack
Sneaks up on you that joke, doesn't it? Aren't
you sorry you didn't hide? But anyway, the weather
here in Yuma is perfect except for an occasional
soft breeze. Soft breeze, that's the local expression
meaning let's stand on the corner and watch the
buildings go by. Yes sir, this is the only place
in the country where the hangars have more flying
hours than the airplanes. And they tell me it
really gets hot here in Yuma. In fact, around
here, you don't ask a guy what's cooking. You
just say, how well done are you? I don't know
how hot it gets in Yuma, but the other day I
saw a rattlesnake and he was crawling under a
cow looking for a faucet marked cold. And Yuma
is full of marriage parlors. Marriage parlor,
that's sort of a booby trap. That is if you're
boob enough to open your trap in one But the
justices of peace here charge as much as five
dollars They have to charge a little more to
repair the skid marks on the carpet One soldier
got married in such a hurry that two days later
he and his bride were still going around trying
to find a mutual friend to introduce him And
there's really... And there's really a serious
housing shortage here in Yuma In fact, the other
day a B -17 drove a little too close to the ground
and before he could pull out of it a real estate
agent rented out the ball turret to a family
from Oklahoma And these boys here are waste gunners
and I found out why they're called waste gunners
On Saturday nights, that's what they go gunning
for. Colonel Anderson, the CO here, used to be
in the Navy and has never quite gotten over it.
This is the only camp where they issue soldiers'
pants three sizes too small so they look like
sailors. These boys here practice on targets
flying across the sky and the last two days they've
been busier than usual shooting down privates
who cross the border New Year's Eve for a glass
of tequila Tequila is a little different from
an American drink You count five before you pull
the ripcord And a lot of these guys went into
Yuma to celebrate the New Year and they really
didn't do much to Yuma Of course it may take
the city a little time to slip the streets back
under the houses again And for a practical joke,
some of these soldiers filled a B -17 with tequila
instead of gas. I don't know what happened, but
three hours later it was sighted over the Philippines
doing the rumba with a B -29. But they're really
very nice to the boys here. On New Year's morning,
if one of these soldiers didn't feel like getting
up, he just said to his sergeant, Sarge, old
kid, I'm just going to stay here in bed and catch
a few more winks. And the sergeant would smile
sweetly down at him and say, what's the matter,
you crazy or something? Well, it's Professor
Colona, the man who brought his own cactus plant
along with him. Tell me, Professor, did you imbibe
too freely this New Year's Eve? I'm not quite
sure, Hope, but the next morning, the Alka -Seltzer
listened to me fizz. I'm only kidding, Hope.
When I woke up, I was in the pink. You were in
the pink? Yes, and so were the two elephants
sitting on my bureau. Well, look, when you wake
up, do you do anything for your hangover, Professor?
Well, last two years, I took a head of the dog
that bit me. You did? Well, what'd you do this
New Year's? Swallowed a cock of spaniel. I haven't
really hope. I didn't do much celebrating. Get
away, don't bother me I had a very mild evening
Later, later, don't bother me I spent a quiet
time Get away, get away Professor, professor,
what's going on? Little green men want to go
back to the Valley Cafe I've been hoping Little
green men, huh? Yes, I'm a little worried about
those little green men following me Well, after
all, Kelowna, you had little green men following
you around last New Year's Day too, didn't you?
I know, but this year they were in P38 And what
a wild party! Was it really a wild party, Professor?
Was it. One of these aerial gunners got a little
tall. He thought he could fly without a plane.
So he stood on the windowsill and flapped his
arms. Oh, Kelowna, that's ridiculous. No human
being can fly. That's what I told him every time
he circled the house and asked for a weather
report. Professor! Have you any statement to
make about the year that just ended? Yes, Hope.
1944 was just like any other year. The women
got the best of it again. The women got the best
of it. Can you prove that, Koloda? Of course,
Hope. Just look at our first family. Franklin
was running and Eleanor traveled by plane. Thank
you, Professor. Poor Miriam Poor Miriam Expected
using irium So she waited poor thing for the
phone to ring. Hello. No matter how many toothpaste
you've tried, no matter how good a job you think
your present brand is doing, change now to Pepsodent
toothpaste. And in just one week, see if you
don't find new brightness in your teeth, new
sparkle in your smile. You see, Pepsodent, and
only Pepsodent, contains irium. the exclusive
cleansing ingredient. And pepsidum toothpaste
with irium removes the film that makes your teeth
look dull. It loosens film and floats it away
quickly, easily, safely. Because it removes film,
pepsidum toothpaste with irium brings new brightness
to your teeth. No wonder more people than ever
before use pepsidum toothpaste today. No wonder
it's number one with the armed forces. So forget
other brands you've tried. Change to Pepsodent
toothpaste with irium. And in just one week,
see the difference. See if your teeth don't feel
cleaner, look brighter. See how it uncovers the
natural brilliance of your smile. Ask for refreshing
Pepsodent toothpaste. Because Pepsodent, and
only Pepsodent, contains irium. Dear Miriam,
dear Miriam, now she's heard of Iriam, so the
telephone ring is a busy thing. Hello. Some number.
Oh, hello. Some number. So folks, just be like
Miriam, Euserian. Here comes those Andrew sisters.
The Andrew sisters. from my Chicago way. He had
a boogie style that no one else could play. He
was the top man at his craft. But then his number
came up and he was gone with the draft. He's
in the army now, a -blowin' Reveille. He's the
boogie, wonky, bugle boy of Company B. That made
him blow a bugle for his Uncle Sam. It really
brought him down because he couldn't jam. The
captain seemed to understand. Because the next
day the cat went out and drafted a band And now
the company jumps when he plays ravelry He's
a boogie -woogie bugle boy of Company B A toot,
a toot, a tootin' attitude He rolls a date to
the bar in boogie rhythm He can't blow a note
unless the bass and guitar is playin' with him
He makes the company jump when he plays ravelry
He's a boogie -woogie bugle boy of Company B
He was a boogie -woogie bugle boy of Company
B and when he plays boogie boogie bugle he was
busy as a bee and when he plays he makes the
company jump A to the bar he's a boogie boogie
bugle boy of company B he blows the date to the
bar he can blow a note if the bass and guitar
isn't with him the company jumps and he plays
ravelly he's a boogie boogie bugle boy of company
B he books a boy to sleep a boogie every night
And wakes him up the same way in the early bright
They clap their hands and stamp their feet Because
they know how he plays and someone gives them
a beat He really breaks it up when he plays ravelry
He's the boogie woogie bugle boy of Company B
And the company jumps when he plays ravelry He's
the boogie woogie bugle boy of Company B Don't
pass me in. Say, look out there at that cloud
of dust, the common. Why, it's the stagecoach.
He can't. Must have pushed the wrong pedal. Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa! Yeah, he won't. Whoa, I'll stop him.
I'll grab his tail and pull on it. Well, it'll
come in handy for dusting the furniture. Ah,
this is where I get off, driver. I'll open the
door for you. Silly me. Wrong side. Well, look
who's coming up the path. Why, it's a drag -along
hope. The barrel opened. Gee. Gee, what do you
know, gals. I'm Patty. I'm Maxine. I'm Laverne.
I'm available. Yes, sir, gals. Just blew in from
Hollywood. Let's say you got back here just in
the right time, partner. The bloom is on the
sage. Bloom is on the sage. Won't they dry quicker
if you hang them on the clothesline? Dragalong,
you've changed. Huh? I said you've changed. How'd
you get so bow -legged? Oh, I smoked one of those
Mexican cigarettes. And you got bow -legged?
Yeah, I made a bad landing. And I want to tell
you, I'm too bow -legged. You're too bow -legged?
Yeah, twice last week, my horse ran away and
I didn't know about it. Gee, Dragalong. When
you left, you were just another cowboy. Are you
really a famous western movie star now? Well,
I hope to kiss a pig. Well, okay, but be careful
you don't cut your lips on the mirror. Well,
I'm doing great, gals. I just got through making
a picture with an Indian boy. I don't suppose
you gals have heard a little beaver. No, but
on Saturday nights in Yuma, we run into plenty
of eager beavers. Did you meet any of them Hollywood
celebrities, Dragalong? Did I even touch Betty
Grable? You did? Yeah, how do you think I got
the car fare back here? Say, Dragalong, you got
your horse here with you. Yeah, don't me and
Silver make a pretty picture standing side by
side? Oh my, he's mighty pretty all right. Here,
have a lump of sugar. Now here's one for you,
Silver. Drag -a -long, how about showing us some
of that trick riding you learned in Hollywood?
Wanna see a little trick riding? Okay, I'll walk
over and get a couple of horses from the corral.
No doubt about it, I gotta get these spurs shortened.
These are my sure big spurs, Drag -a -long. Yeah,
I like them big. After the war is over, I'm gonna
have them made into a Ford. Say, gal! Now I'll
show you some fancy riding. Watch, I'll ride
two horses standing up with my foot on each one.
Here I go! Hey, watch out, Drag -a -long! I'm
okay! But the horses are going... And good luck,
Andrews sisters, on your new show, The 8 to the
Bar Ranch, every Sunday. I'll be over to visit
you soon, partners. Despite years of faithful
brushing, despite any other toothpaste you've
tried, see if your teeth aren't noticeably brighter
in just one week after you change to Pepsodent
toothpaste. You see, Pepsodent toothpaste contains
irium, the exclusive cleansing ingredient. Pepsodent
toothpaste with irium removes the film that makes
your teeth look dull. It loosens film and floats
it away quickly, easily, safely. Brings new brilliance
to your teeth. So forget other brands you've
tried. Change to Pepsodent toothpaste. And in
just one week, see the difference in the brightness
of your teeth. the sparkle of your smile. Ask
for refreshing pepsident toothpaste, because
pepsident, and only pepsident, contains irium.
Dear Miriam, dear Miriam, now she's heard of
irium, so the telephone ring is a busy thing.
So folks, just be like Miriam, Euserian! together
laughed at the rain together sang love's refrain
together and we'd both pretend it would never
Have fun! Well, 1944 has ended and tonight we
find Bob Hope facing 1945. That was 1945. But
it's been a wonderful 1944. Bob's performances
in the movies were of a type you're not have
to forget for a long time. Although Ovaltine
helps. At the famous Academy Award dinner, the
president of the award committee watches with
a big smile on his face as Bob reaches out his
hand for the Oscar. You'll never use those knuckles
again. And it was in 1944 that Bob's book, I
Never Left Home, came out and Bob was acclaimed
as a famous author. After reading I Never Left
Home, one reviewer was so impressed he telephoned
Bob and said, Mr. Hope. I can only say that I
am proud and deeply gratified that the author
of such a book is a native of Los Angeles Well
thanks, which paper are you with? New York Times
Naturally, Bob is wondering what will happen
to him in 1945 We find him walking down the main
street of Yuma with his bone companion, Skinny
Ennis Well, come on, Skin. Let's walk around
human. Well, should we walk around it again?
Hey, Bob. Bob, where are we going? Well, let's
find a gypsy fortune teller. We can find out
what's going to happen to us this year and then
we can smoke the tea leaves. Look, here's a place,
Bob. Madame Zaza, fortune teller. Let's go in.
Yee -haw, Mr. Hobbs! Well, Vera Vane! Well, it's
Vera Vane. Call out the riot squad. It's Bob
who put on your gas mask. Well, Miss Vague, what
are you doing here at Madame Zaza? Well, I'm
really a mind reader, Mr. Hope, but come on in
anyway. I'll sell your fortune with tea leaves,
Mr. Hope, as soon as I can get some hot water
in a tea bag. Oh, fine. Would you mind using
a new bag for me? I use nothing else. You won't
find an old bag around here. That really doesn't
need an answer, does it? Oh, forget it! Oh, you
dear boy Why don't you take off your hat and
show this cactus around here a real point? Now
come on, Ms. Vague, I'm in a hurry. Will you
read my mind? All right, all right. Now relax.
Just relax, Mr. Hope. You're my first customer
at mind reading. Let's see. Where is it? Where
is it? Oh, yes. Here's your mind right over here.
Oh, you found it pretty quick, didn't you? Beginner's
luck, I guess. So you're a mind reader, Ms. Vague?
Yes, and you know, Mr. Holt, Cary Grant was here
the other day and I read his mind, but he left
in a hurry. Why did he leave in such a hurry,
Ms. Vague? Well, while I was reading his mind,
he read mine. I see what you mean. Oh dear, the
life of a gypsy. I flipped here and I flipped
there looking for romance. Really, Ms. Vague?
Supposing you met a fellow like Skinny Ennis?
I'd get another can of flits. Yeah, I'm very
good at palm reading, Mr. Holt. Here, let me
look at your hair in a minute there. Oh, goodness.
I can see you're a man of great wealth and influence.
Wealth and influence? How can you tell that,
Ms. Vague, by the lifelines in my palm? No, by
the nicotine stains on your fingers. Well, have
you seen Professor Kelowna, Ms. Vague? He was
supposed to join me here and see what I was gonna
make of myself in 1945. I see. Perhaps he has
a weak stomach. Hey, maybe that's Kelowna now.
He said he'd look me up a Hindu Swami today.
Hello? Hello, Hope. I am looking for the Swami,
but I expect a little trouble getting there.
Tell me, can an elephant fly an airplane? Of
course an elephant can't fly an airplane. Now,
see? You better land this thing, Jumbo. Kelowna,
you've got splinters in your head. What kind
of plane are you flying? Must be a Mustang. Professor,
what makes you think it's a Mustang? It's got
a long bushy tail. That's the windsock. Professor,
why don't you pay a... Professor, why don't you
pay a visit to the Lunatic Asylum? Okay, Hope,
what time will you be home? Don't bother me.
Don't bother me now, Colon. I'm having my fortune
told. Having your fortune told? Hold everything,
Hope. I'll fly to India and get a real Swami
to tell you fortune. Stubborn son of a gun, wasn't
he? Oh boy, that Kelowna. I think William Tell
shot his head off and he's using the apple now.
Well, let's get back to the mind reading, Miss
Vague. Yes, yes. Hello, Bob. Oh, hello, Miss
Vague. May I join you? Oh, well, Miss Lang said,
of course. Darling, come right in. Here's a chair,
dear. Sit down and take a mess off your feet.
My, but that's a lovely gypsy costume you're
wearing this day. Oh, thank you. Tell me, is
it ready -made or do you have your own awning
company? Oh, you sweet child, you. I don't see
why... Why you came to a fortune teller, dear?
Why don't you just take that wig of yours off
and use your own crystal ball? Now wait a minute,
girls I want you two girls to kiss and make up
for the New Year Frances, kiss Miss Vague on
the cheek Oh, all right, here That's sweet Now
Miss Vague, you kiss Frances on the cheek Sorry,
dear, chapped lips I'll get it Hello? Hello,
Hope I got the Swami and we're flying in on the
beam and it's pretty embarrassing It's embarrassing
to be flying in on the beam? Yes All the other
pilots have airplanes What is your position,
Kelowna? I'm five miles above the Rocky Mountains,
Hope and I just want to ask you one thing What
is it, Kelowna? Got a spare gas coupon You're...
You're really in trouble then, Kelowna. Yeah,
yes, Hope. My plane's on fire, my wings are gone,
my motor's missing, and my tail's off. Kelowna,
your plane's on fire, your wings are off, your
motor's missing, and your tail's off? Yes. Think
I ought to jump? Professor, stop fooling around
and get on over here. Okay, Hope, I'm right overhead.
I'll swoop down and make a perfect landing in
the front yard. Here I come. Should have let
the wheels down. Well, Hope, here's the Swami.
Okay, Swam, you're on. Well, I see you have a
crystal ball, Swami. Yes, I can look into my
crystal ball and see everything that is going
to happen. It's wonderful, wonderful. It is?
Why? I can keep two weeks ahead of Dick Tracy.
I shall now summon the spirit. Acra, cra -da
-da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da
-da -da -da -da - Are you there? Are you there?
I'm having a little trouble getting out of this
world. Alfred Malone, didn't I? I just want to
say I want to thank Colonel Herbert W. Anderson
for another fine trip and for all the details
of the show. Also want to thank Lieutenant Colonel
George W. Davis, Major Joseph W. Limerick. and
my good friend, Lieutenant Don Budge, my old
tennis partner, and all you aerial gunners for
your wonderful reception here tonight. Well,
sir, all over the country, people have taken
down the Christmas tree. Junior's broken half
his toys, and Daddy's broken the other half,
and Mother's about ready for a rest home. And
everywhere you go, you bump into New Year's resolutions.
Some of these are going to be mighty easy to
keep, too, like laying off cigarettes. If you'd
like to swear off long automobile trips, the
OPA will be glad to help you. Seriously, all
of us on the show want to thank you for the generous
helping of friendship you dished out to us in
1944. And being reasonably normal individuals,
we of course are proud of the size of our radio
audience and grateful too because, keep this
under your hat, but my sponsor's funny. He has
to catch the check and he likes a lot of people
listening. I know that you're not interested
in getting any personal New Year's resolutions
from me. Besides, I'm not sending out any this
year. So I'll just say that we've resolved to
go on bouncing around at camps and bases and
hospitals for as long as the boys will put up
with us. That's our combined New Year's promise
to you, fellas. And there's only one thing I
ask in return. In 1945, when we shoot the jokes
at you, laugh if you want to, but please don't
shoot at us.