WEBVTT 00:00:14.349 --> 00:00:18.510 S. That's right, folks. C for comedy. A for Abbott. 00:00:19.050 --> 00:00:23.390 M for Maxwell. E for Ennis. L for Luke Costello. 00:00:23.550 --> 00:00:28.510 Put them all together and they spell camel. Experience 00:00:28.510 --> 00:00:32.369 is the best teacher. Try a camel. Let your own 00:00:32.369 --> 00:00:34.590 experience tell you why more people are smoking 00:00:34.590 --> 00:00:37.070 camels than ever before. And draw up a chair 00:00:37.070 --> 00:00:39.229 for tonight's camel show starring Bud Abbott 00:00:39.229 --> 00:00:58.390 and Luke Costello. Castello, come here. Castello, 00:00:58.729 --> 00:01:01.429 will you come over here, please? Will you listen 00:01:01.429 --> 00:01:03.710 to me? What are you writing on that pad? Hey, 00:01:03.810 --> 00:01:05.230 Emmett. What are you writing on that pad? I'm 00:01:05.230 --> 00:01:06.849 just making out a list of girls I'm gonna kiss 00:01:06.849 --> 00:01:09.049 next week. Here's who I got picked out. Lizzie 00:01:09.049 --> 00:01:11.650 Schwartz, Maggie Mogelmeyer, Tessie Tinfoil, 00:01:11.890 --> 00:01:13.950 Lana Turner. Now, wait a minute. Lana Turner 00:01:13.950 --> 00:01:16.310 wouldn't kiss you. Oh, no? Oh, no. Then I'll 00:01:16.310 --> 00:01:19.989 scratch her off my list. I love you. You dummy, 00:01:20.090 --> 00:01:22.150 always thinking of girls. Girls, girls, girls. 00:01:22.359 --> 00:01:24.379 Now great men don't waste their time on girls. 00:01:24.700 --> 00:01:26.480 Where do you suppose Benjamin Franklin would 00:01:26.480 --> 00:01:28.319 have been if he'd have thought of girls all of 00:01:28.319 --> 00:01:30.599 the time? In the front row at Earl Carroll's? 00:01:30.760 --> 00:01:33.299 No, no, no. Pastel, I've been telling you for 00:01:33.299 --> 00:01:35.400 the past three weeks. You've got to quit chasing 00:01:35.400 --> 00:01:37.560 girls and get yourself a job. Look at you. Look 00:01:37.560 --> 00:01:39.719 how sloppy you are. Look at your socks. I can't 00:01:39.719 --> 00:01:41.859 help my socks, Abbott. It's those new Hickok 00:01:41.859 --> 00:01:43.480 plastic garters. What's the matter with them? 00:01:43.739 --> 00:01:46.040 Your stock socks stay up, but your legs fall 00:01:46.040 --> 00:01:53.799 down. Yeah. Here, boy. Out of the way, fatso. 00:01:54.319 --> 00:01:56.879 I'm looking for Luke Costello. Boy, he is Luke 00:01:56.879 --> 00:01:59.200 Costello. The famous Luke Costello? The one and 00:01:59.200 --> 00:02:01.859 only Luke Costello? That's me. Gee, I listen 00:02:01.859 --> 00:02:03.879 to you on the radio every Thursday night. You 00:02:03.879 --> 00:02:07.700 break me up when you say, how do you do? Wait 00:02:07.700 --> 00:02:11.740 a minute! Wait a minute! That ain't me, that's 00:02:11.740 --> 00:02:15.419 the mad Russian. You're saying? Who's gonna take 00:02:15.419 --> 00:02:17.840 this telegram? I'll take it. It's collect, $14. 00:02:18.000 --> 00:02:20.889 He'll take it. He'll take it. Oh, give it to 00:02:20.889 --> 00:02:23.889 me. Here, boy. Hey, Costello, this telegram is 00:02:23.889 --> 00:02:26.310 from Joe DiMaggio. Listen to this. Dear Lou, 00:02:26.409 --> 00:02:28.629 as you know, I am recovering from a foot operation. 00:02:29.090 --> 00:02:33.449 I would appreciate you taking my place on the 00:02:33.449 --> 00:02:35.349 New York Yankees until I recover. Please report 00:02:35.349 --> 00:02:38.009 to the Yankee Stadium immediately. Signed, Joe 00:02:38.009 --> 00:02:40.430 DiMaggio. Hey, that's wonderful. That's the news 00:02:40.430 --> 00:02:42.370 I've been waiting for. I'm gonna be a big league 00:02:42.370 --> 00:02:44.710 ball player. DiMaggio probably heard about my 00:02:44.710 --> 00:02:46.830 playing with the Cucamonga Wildcats last year. 00:02:47.180 --> 00:02:48.840 You a ball player? I don't believe it, Costello. 00:02:48.939 --> 00:02:50.860 You know nothing about ball. Oh, no. I eat baseball. 00:02:51.060 --> 00:02:53.620 I live baseball. All night when I'm asleep, I 00:02:53.620 --> 00:02:55.680 dream about baseball. Don't you ever dream about 00:02:55.680 --> 00:02:58.319 girls? What? And miss my turn up at bat? Oh! 00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:02.639 That's ridiculous. What's the matter with you? 00:03:03.979 --> 00:03:06.120 Yes. And another thing, Abbott. What page are 00:03:06.120 --> 00:03:09.560 you on? Never mind what page I'm on. Okay? And 00:03:09.560 --> 00:03:12.120 another thing, Abbott. Not only that, in Paterson, 00:03:12.139 --> 00:03:14.139 New Jersey, I worked out with a baseball team. 00:03:14.400 --> 00:03:15.939 I used to stay out till four o 'clock in the 00:03:15.939 --> 00:03:17.400 morning. Why did you stay out till four o 'clock 00:03:17.400 --> 00:03:20.060 in the morning? This was a girl's baseball team. 00:03:21.300 --> 00:03:22.960 If you're gonna play with the New York Yankees, 00:03:23.560 --> 00:03:25.400 you really have to know something about big league 00:03:25.400 --> 00:03:27.099 baseball, Lou. I know all about baseball. All 00:03:27.099 --> 00:03:28.460 right, suppose there's a left -handed pitcher 00:03:28.460 --> 00:03:30.300 pitching. What do you do? I put in a right -handed 00:03:30.300 --> 00:03:32.199 batter. Now, suppose there's a right -handed 00:03:32.199 --> 00:03:34.400 pitcher pitching. I put in a left -handed batter. 00:03:34.599 --> 00:03:37.090 But now I trick you. I take out the right -handed 00:03:37.090 --> 00:03:39.090 pitcher and put in a left -handed pitcher. Then 00:03:39.090 --> 00:03:41.530 I double -cross you. I take out my left -handed 00:03:41.530 --> 00:03:43.430 batter and put in a right -handed batter. Now, 00:03:43.430 --> 00:03:45.110 wait a minute. Where are you getting all those 00:03:45.110 --> 00:03:46.830 right -handed batters? The same place where you're 00:03:46.830 --> 00:03:51.150 getting all those left -handed pitchers. Hello, 00:03:51.430 --> 00:03:54.509 Bud. Hello, Louis, honey. It's Marilyn Maxwell. 00:04:02.250 --> 00:04:04.340 Hello, Marilyn. I've got great news. I'm gonna 00:04:04.340 --> 00:04:06.259 play ball with the New York Yankees. I'm taking 00:04:06.259 --> 00:04:08.280 you along as a pitcher. Oh, now Costello, Marilyn 00:04:08.280 --> 00:04:10.360 Maxwell can't pitch. Oh, no. You should see all 00:04:10.360 --> 00:04:12.080 the guys she struck out that were trying to get 00:04:12.080 --> 00:04:17.589 the first base. This kid has got some nice curves. 00:04:19.310 --> 00:04:21.750 Oh, Lewis, you're so sweet. But I do hope you'll 00:04:21.750 --> 00:04:24.029 be careful. You know, big league baseball is 00:04:24.029 --> 00:04:26.389 a very dangerous game. Oh, what's dangerous about 00:04:26.389 --> 00:04:28.370 baseball, Marilyn? Well, I read in the paper 00:04:28.370 --> 00:04:30.610 this morning that in the opening game in Boston, 00:04:31.069 --> 00:04:35.509 five players died on base. Marilyn, you don't 00:04:35.509 --> 00:04:37.509 seem to know much about baseball. Let me show 00:04:37.509 --> 00:04:39.649 you how to play indoor baseball. First I put 00:04:39.649 --> 00:04:41.610 my left arm around your waist. Then I snuggle 00:04:41.610 --> 00:04:44.069 my head on your shoulder like this. Then I press 00:04:44.069 --> 00:04:46.129 my cheek against your cheek. Oh, wait a minute, 00:04:46.310 --> 00:04:48.129 Costello. That's not the way to play indoor baseball. 00:04:48.430 --> 00:04:50.649 How do you like that? Every season, new rules. 00:04:53.410 --> 00:04:56.110 Well, goodbye and good luck, Lewis. I just know 00:04:56.110 --> 00:04:58.329 you'll become famous with those New York Yankees. 00:04:58.589 --> 00:05:00.129 Marilyn's right, Costello. This is your chance 00:05:00.129 --> 00:05:01.949 to become famous. Now, you've got a good job 00:05:01.949 --> 00:05:03.910 as a baseball player. And you might find your 00:05:03.910 --> 00:05:06.230 proper niche in life. Yes, I might. I mean, after 00:05:06.230 --> 00:05:08.660 all, if I find my... What will I find? An itch, 00:05:08.660 --> 00:05:10.920 an itch. You'll find your itch. Yeah, but when 00:05:10.920 --> 00:05:14.120 I find an itch, I scratch it. What in the world 00:05:14.120 --> 00:05:16.519 are you talking about? An itch. I once had the 00:05:16.519 --> 00:05:18.319 seven -year itch. What happened? I scratched 00:05:18.319 --> 00:05:20.120 real fast and got rid of it in three and a half 00:05:20.120 --> 00:05:23.860 years. I'm not talking about that kind of an 00:05:23.860 --> 00:05:26.279 itch. I mean an itch in life. An itch in life 00:05:26.279 --> 00:05:29.100 is what everyone is looking for. Anyone who is 00:05:29.100 --> 00:05:31.079 successful has found an itch. Paul, if that's 00:05:31.079 --> 00:05:32.779 the case, I know an air deal that is doing very 00:05:32.779 --> 00:05:35.759 well. Listen to me, Costello. When I say an itch, 00:05:35.839 --> 00:05:37.360 I don't mean an itch like you have when you have 00:05:37.360 --> 00:05:39.939 an itch. I mean an itch like you have when you 00:05:39.939 --> 00:05:42.339 have a notch. Oh, you don't mean an itch like 00:05:42.339 --> 00:05:43.959 an itch when you have an itch. You mean an itch 00:05:43.959 --> 00:05:45.319 like you have when you have a notch. Now you've 00:05:45.319 --> 00:05:46.639 got it. Now I've got it. I don't even know what 00:05:46.639 --> 00:05:49.839 I'm talking about. Costello, why do you mash 00:05:49.839 --> 00:05:51.819 everything up like that? You're the most mixed 00:05:51.819 --> 00:05:53.600 up man I ever saw. Well, maybe it's because I 00:05:53.600 --> 00:05:55.199 fell on my mother's mix master this morning. 00:05:55.540 --> 00:06:01.579 She had it set for mashed potatoes. I know that, 00:06:01.740 --> 00:06:03.699 you idiot. All I'm trying to tell you is that 00:06:03.699 --> 00:06:06.220 a niche is a notch, catch? Natch. Natch, all 00:06:06.220 --> 00:06:08.839 right. Now you know that a niche is a notch. 00:06:09.279 --> 00:06:10.939 You know that both of them are the same. Yes. 00:06:10.939 --> 00:06:12.500 Now I could have a notch and you could have a 00:06:12.500 --> 00:06:19.000 niche. Yes, niche to me and notch to you. I'm 00:06:19.000 --> 00:06:20.779 only trying to impress you with the importance 00:06:20.779 --> 00:06:23.240 of being a big league ball player and having 00:06:23.240 --> 00:06:25.379 a good income. Did you ever draw a nice big fat 00:06:25.379 --> 00:06:28.209 salary? No, I never drew a fat celery, but I 00:06:28.209 --> 00:06:30.889 once sketched a skinny tomato. No, no, no, no. 00:06:30.949 --> 00:06:32.389 Castello, when I say draw, I don't mean draw 00:06:32.389 --> 00:06:33.769 like you draw when you draw. All I mean draw 00:06:33.769 --> 00:06:35.529 like you draw when you draw a celery. Habit, 00:06:35.529 --> 00:06:38.129 let me smell your breath. Mm -hmm, just as I 00:06:38.129 --> 00:06:40.290 thought. You've drawn one too many already. Dad, 00:06:40.870 --> 00:06:43.029 listen to me, please. When I say you draw a salary, 00:06:43.050 --> 00:06:45.209 I mean you draw money. Now he's got me drawing 00:06:45.209 --> 00:06:47.069 money. Wait till the FBI finds out about this. 00:06:47.269 --> 00:06:49.350 I'll probably draw 20 years in a clink, and they 00:06:49.350 --> 00:06:51.170 don't feed you any celery in there either. Castello, 00:06:51.209 --> 00:06:53.850 when I say you draw money, I mean you draw like 00:06:53.850 --> 00:06:56.560 you draw money to spend it. Not like when you 00:06:56.560 --> 00:06:58.459 draw on an easel. That's what I always say. With 00:06:58.459 --> 00:07:02.519 money, it's easel come, easel go. Everybody draws 00:07:02.519 --> 00:07:04.040 money. I draw money. I've been drawing money 00:07:04.040 --> 00:07:06.279 for years. My brother draws money. He's been 00:07:06.279 --> 00:07:08.420 drawing money for years. You draw and your brother 00:07:08.420 --> 00:07:10.660 draws? Certainly. Just as I thought. You and 00:07:10.660 --> 00:07:27.420 your brother are an old pair of drawers. Experience 00:07:27.420 --> 00:07:30.339 is the best teacher. It happened shortly after 00:07:30.339 --> 00:07:32.639 the end of the war. Two cigarettes glow in the 00:07:32.639 --> 00:07:34.939 dusk on the veranda of a country house as a man 00:07:34.939 --> 00:07:37.420 and woman are chatting. The woman remarks... 00:07:37.420 --> 00:07:39.120 Robert, you've changed your cigarette brand. 00:07:39.220 --> 00:07:41.699 This is a Camel. I can tell without even looking. 00:07:41.920 --> 00:07:44.800 Yes, I have changed my brand. You know how we 00:07:44.800 --> 00:07:46.540 smoked whatever cigarettes we could get during 00:07:46.540 --> 00:07:49.279 the war? Don't I? Yes, I must have tried all 00:07:49.279 --> 00:07:51.680 the brands during that shortage. That's when 00:07:51.680 --> 00:07:54.399 I found I liked Camels best. And weren't you 00:07:54.399 --> 00:07:59.120 right? Yes, experience is the best teacher. During 00:07:59.120 --> 00:08:01.420 the wartime shortage, people smoked whatever 00:08:01.420 --> 00:08:03.860 cigarettes they could get. It was this experience 00:08:03.860 --> 00:08:06.339 that taught millions the differences in cigarette 00:08:06.339 --> 00:08:09.420 quality. As smokers tried cigarette after cigarette 00:08:09.420 --> 00:08:11.980 on their t -zones, that's tea for taste and tea 00:08:11.980 --> 00:08:15.399 for throat. It was Camel's rich, full flavor 00:08:15.399 --> 00:08:18.019 and cool mildness that stood out from all the 00:08:18.019 --> 00:08:21.050 others. The result? Today, more people smoke 00:08:21.050 --> 00:08:25.350 camels than ever before. Experience is the best 00:08:25.350 --> 00:08:34.370 teacher. Try a camel. And while you light up 00:08:34.370 --> 00:08:47.919 a camel, here's Skinny Ennis with Linda. In all 00:08:47.919 --> 00:08:51.360 of my dreams I walk with my arms about Linda 00:08:51.360 --> 00:08:57.600 But what good does it do me? For Linda doesn't 00:08:57.600 --> 00:09:04.399 know I exist Can't help feeling gloomy Think 00:09:04.399 --> 00:09:08.519 of all the loving I've missed We pass on the 00:09:08.519 --> 00:09:12.720 street My heart skips a beat I say to myself, 00:09:13.139 --> 00:09:17.539 hello Linda If only she'd smile I'd stop for 00:09:17.539 --> 00:09:22.419 a while And then I would get to know Linda But 00:09:22.419 --> 00:09:27.139 miracles still happen And when my lucky star 00:09:27.139 --> 00:09:31.799 begins to shine With one lucky break I'll make 00:09:31.799 --> 00:10:04.570 Linda mine Pass on the street, my heart skips 00:10:04.570 --> 00:10:09.549 a beat I say to myself, hello, Linda If only 00:10:09.549 --> 00:10:13.269 she'd smile, I'd stop for a while And then I 00:10:13.269 --> 00:10:18.889 would get to know Linda But miracles still happen 00:10:18.889 --> 00:10:24.129 And when my lucky star begins to shine With one 00:10:24.129 --> 00:10:37.919 lucky break, I'll make Linda mine League ball 00:10:37.919 --> 00:10:39.519 player, you've got to get yourself in shape. 00:10:39.799 --> 00:10:42.200 Now, from 8 a .m. to 9 a .m., you lift weights. 00:10:42.279 --> 00:10:45.100 From 9 to 10, deep knee bends. 10 to 11, skip 00:10:45.100 --> 00:10:47.700 rope. 11 to 12, run five miles. 12 to 1, I'll 00:10:47.700 --> 00:10:50.899 never make it. I love it. You idiots, you'll 00:10:50.899 --> 00:10:52.940 never be a ball player. Staying up late and going 00:10:52.940 --> 00:10:55.059 to night clubs, eating rich food, running around 00:10:55.059 --> 00:10:56.659 with beautiful girls. Do you know what can happen 00:10:56.659 --> 00:10:58.940 to you? Yes, I can become manager of the Brooklyn 00:10:58.940 --> 00:11:07.500 Dodgers. I... I don't even know why DiMaggio 00:11:07.500 --> 00:11:08.879 picked you. You don't even know how to swing 00:11:08.879 --> 00:11:10.720 a bat. I know all about swinging bats. When I 00:11:10.720 --> 00:11:12.259 was a kid, my father used to hit me with a baseball 00:11:12.259 --> 00:11:14.080 bat. My brother used to hit me with a baseball 00:11:14.080 --> 00:11:15.980 bat. My uncle, Artie Stebbins, used to hit me 00:11:15.980 --> 00:11:17.840 with a baseball bat. And my mother used to hit 00:11:17.840 --> 00:11:19.320 me with a tennis racket. With a tennis racket? 00:11:19.460 --> 00:11:23.080 Yes. She didn't like baseball. Hiya, fellas. 00:11:23.419 --> 00:11:25.580 Well, well, it's Skinny Ernest. Hey, Costello. 00:11:26.059 --> 00:11:28.120 I heard about you taking Joe DiMaggio's place 00:11:28.120 --> 00:11:29.840 for the New York Yankees. That's right. You know, 00:11:29.840 --> 00:11:31.659 I used to pitch for the Hollywood Stars. And 00:11:31.659 --> 00:11:34.210 boy, I'll never forget my last game. There were 00:11:34.210 --> 00:11:36.789 five men on base. Oh, no, wait a minute, Skinny, 00:11:36.830 --> 00:11:40.190 wait a minute. Five men on base. Now that's impossible. 00:11:40.750 --> 00:11:45.289 Did you ever see the Hollywood stars play? Annis, 00:11:45.309 --> 00:11:46.929 I've seen the Hollywood stars and I don't remember 00:11:46.929 --> 00:11:49.509 you. Oh, I've changed a lot since then. Had the 00:11:49.509 --> 00:11:51.950 biggest buck teeth he ever saw. I was the only 00:11:51.950 --> 00:11:53.629 man on the team that could slide in a second 00:11:53.629 --> 00:11:57.649 base and spike you from either end. Well, so 00:11:57.649 --> 00:12:00.740 long fatso. Slow, Skinny, slow. Hey, you know 00:12:00.740 --> 00:12:02.919 that skinny would make an ugly skeleton? All 00:12:02.919 --> 00:12:05.200 right. Coachella, don't waste time with him. 00:12:05.299 --> 00:12:06.779 Now, you've got to get ready for the opening 00:12:06.779 --> 00:12:08.600 game. Yes, I think we're going to play the Cleveland 00:12:08.600 --> 00:12:10.980 Indians. Cleveland Indians, eh? Uh -huh. Feller 00:12:10.980 --> 00:12:13.139 pitching? Certainly there's a feller pitching. 00:12:14.820 --> 00:12:17.480 Who'd think they'd use a girl? Oh, I know they 00:12:17.480 --> 00:12:19.899 don't use a girl. I said feller pitching. What 00:12:19.899 --> 00:12:22.200 feller? Feller with the Cleveland Indians. Look, 00:12:22.259 --> 00:12:23.759 Abbott, there's nine guys on the Cleveland team. 00:12:23.879 --> 00:12:26.240 Now, which feller are you talking about? Feller 00:12:26.240 --> 00:12:29.039 that pitches. There is only one feller with Cleveland. 00:12:29.289 --> 00:12:31.330 You mean nine Yankees are gonna play against 00:12:31.330 --> 00:12:33.750 one feller? That's right. You mean there's no 00:12:33.750 --> 00:12:35.590 fellers in the outfield? No. And there's no fellers 00:12:35.590 --> 00:12:38.309 in the infield? No. Cleveland only has one feller. 00:12:38.389 --> 00:12:41.350 Well, this feller must be pretty good if he don't 00:12:41.350 --> 00:12:43.330 need any other players but himself. Look, all 00:12:43.330 --> 00:12:45.149 the players will be out there helping him. You 00:12:45.149 --> 00:12:47.450 just said there was only one feller on the team. 00:12:47.490 --> 00:12:49.889 That's right. Then where did all them other fellers 00:12:49.889 --> 00:12:51.669 come from? Oh, you idiot. When I say there's 00:12:51.669 --> 00:12:53.669 only one feller on the team, I mean there is 00:12:53.669 --> 00:12:55.909 only one feller that pitches. Well, Abbott, when 00:12:55.909 --> 00:12:57.590 the manager of the team wants this pitcher, what 00:12:57.590 --> 00:13:00.529 does he call him? Feller. You mean he just hollers, 00:13:00.690 --> 00:13:02.950 hey, feller. And this guy knows that they mean 00:13:02.950 --> 00:13:06.509 him. That's right. His name is feller, feller, 00:13:06.750 --> 00:13:09.309 Bob feller. And when I say there is only one 00:13:09.309 --> 00:13:12.090 feller on the team that pitches, that's it. And 00:13:12.090 --> 00:13:14.190 the feller that pitches is feller. There's only 00:13:14.190 --> 00:13:17.029 the other fellers on the team, but there's only 00:13:17.029 --> 00:13:23.529 one feller. Boy, are you mixed up. Oh, you mean 00:13:23.529 --> 00:13:26.159 the feller that pitches. It's filler. And there's 00:13:26.159 --> 00:13:27.840 other fillers on the team, but they're not fillers? 00:13:27.919 --> 00:13:30.519 Now you grasp it. Yes, I grasp it, but it keeps 00:13:30.519 --> 00:13:34.580 slipping out of my hand. Oh forget it. Let's 00:13:34.580 --> 00:13:36.259 go into this sporting goods store and get your 00:13:36.259 --> 00:13:38.200 baseball equipment. I want you to look right 00:13:38.200 --> 00:13:40.600 for the opening game. Now go ahead and ask that 00:13:40.600 --> 00:13:42.299 lady there where they keep the baseball uniforms. 00:13:42.620 --> 00:13:45.480 Pardon me, Miss. Well, if it isn't Mr. Aubitt. 00:13:45.500 --> 00:13:50.539 Hello. And Mr. Costello. Hello. You fought little 00:13:50.539 --> 00:13:53.990 Mon -you. What are you doing? I'm a sporting 00:13:53.990 --> 00:13:56.769 goods store, miss. Oh, I just stopped in to get 00:13:56.769 --> 00:14:00.570 a gift for my nephew. I'm buying him a Boz -ball. 00:14:00.909 --> 00:14:04.769 Boz -ball? Abbott, you know what a Boz -ball 00:14:04.769 --> 00:14:08.009 is? That's what the poochers throw to the coochers. 00:14:09.029 --> 00:14:17.990 And the booter tries to boot a home rune. My 00:14:17.990 --> 00:14:21.210 nephew is just a little chump, but his ambition 00:14:21.210 --> 00:14:24.690 is to be a Brooklyn doger, carcher. Well, if 00:14:24.690 --> 00:14:26.870 he's only a little guy, why don't he join the 00:14:26.870 --> 00:14:34.929 deep -troot tukers and be a short stoop? Well, 00:14:35.009 --> 00:14:37.889 I must be going. As we say in Chinese, geesh 00:14:37.889 --> 00:14:40.070 -a gooey hop -toey, I'm push -hop -toey -oo. 00:14:40.610 --> 00:14:42.970 And a dish of gooey chop -soey and a push for 00:14:42.970 --> 00:14:51.899 you too! As Johnny Weissmuller said to Buster 00:14:51.899 --> 00:14:57.000 Crabb, what dive did you come out of? Well, my 00:14:57.000 --> 00:14:58.620 friend and I are here to get some baseball equipment. 00:14:59.080 --> 00:15:01.159 I'd like to see a baseball uniform that would 00:15:01.159 --> 00:15:05.919 fit Costello. So would I. Look, as Adam said 00:15:05.919 --> 00:15:09.080 to Eve, quit ribbing me. However, I'll do the 00:15:09.080 --> 00:15:11.120 best I can. We'll start with the spiked shoes. 00:15:11.440 --> 00:15:14.019 What size do you wear? Eight. Oh, let me see. 00:15:14.360 --> 00:15:16.240 I've only got one pair left and they're size 00:15:16.240 --> 00:15:18.830 five. Maybe you can squeeze into them, Costello. 00:15:19.169 --> 00:15:27.169 Go ahead and try, okay? What do you know? Open 00:15:27.169 --> 00:15:32.309 -toed baseball shoes. Now for the uniform. My, 00:15:32.490 --> 00:15:34.649 you're certainly a pudgy little rascal, aren't 00:15:34.649 --> 00:15:38.350 you? Aren't you overweight? I'm about 120 pounds 00:15:38.350 --> 00:15:40.289 overweight, but I'm going back to my normal weight. 00:15:40.529 --> 00:15:44.350 What's normal? 60 pounds overweight. Costello, 00:15:44.830 --> 00:15:46.970 you should really go on a diet. Yeah, of course 00:15:46.970 --> 00:15:48.389 you know what a diet is, don't you? Oh, sure. 00:15:48.470 --> 00:15:49.909 That's where you can eat all you want of everything 00:15:49.909 --> 00:15:52.549 you don't like. Young man, if you really want 00:15:52.549 --> 00:15:54.549 to reduce, why don't you exercise with a couple 00:15:54.549 --> 00:15:57.169 of dumbbells? Okay, I'm ready whenever you want 00:15:57.169 --> 00:16:01.830 to have it. All right. Cut that out. We've got 00:16:01.830 --> 00:16:03.470 to get your baseball equipment. Mister, do you 00:16:03.470 --> 00:16:06.090 have any bats? Oh, certainly. Here's a fine bat, 00:16:06.450 --> 00:16:08.789 autographed by Slaughter of the Cardinals. This 00:16:08.789 --> 00:16:10.899 bat was made for slaughter. Ain't you got one 00:16:10.899 --> 00:16:14.039 that was made for baseball? When he says slaughter, 00:16:14.179 --> 00:16:16.159 he means slaughter the baseball player. Slaughter 00:16:16.159 --> 00:16:18.220 the baseball player? Well, that bet you could 00:16:18.220 --> 00:16:20.980 slaughter anybody. No, no, Costello. I'm talking 00:16:20.980 --> 00:16:23.960 about slaughter. Everybody knows slaughter. He 00:16:23.960 --> 00:16:26.500 knows slaughter. Well, maybe he knows slaughter, 00:16:26.539 --> 00:16:28.899 but I don't know. Now, you idiot, everybody knows 00:16:28.899 --> 00:16:30.720 slaughter the baseball player. Slaughter is the 00:16:30.720 --> 00:16:33.559 man's last name. What's his first name? Enos. 00:16:33.860 --> 00:16:36.559 Now, there's the clever guy. Enos his first name. 00:16:36.779 --> 00:16:39.000 Oh, what? Let's forget about the bat. Look, mister, 00:16:39.019 --> 00:16:41.019 do you have a baseball cap that will fit Costello's 00:16:41.019 --> 00:16:43.059 head? What size pencil sharpener does he wear? 00:16:44.159 --> 00:16:47.519 Oh, a baseball cap! Oh, yes, he has a dandy. 00:16:47.820 --> 00:16:50.299 This is the kind Feller wear. What Feller? The 00:16:50.299 --> 00:16:51.919 Feller with the Cleveland Indians. There's nine 00:16:51.919 --> 00:16:53.679 players with the Cleveland Indians. Which Feller 00:16:53.679 --> 00:16:55.980 are you talking about? Oh, young man, when I 00:16:55.980 --> 00:16:57.919 say Feller with the Cleveland Indians, I am only 00:16:57.919 --> 00:17:00.200 referring to one Feller. The Feller that pictures 00:17:00.200 --> 00:17:01.879 with the Cleveland Indians. When you say the 00:17:01.879 --> 00:17:03.419 Feller with the Cleveland Indians, you're only 00:17:03.419 --> 00:17:05.440 referring to one Feller. The Feller that pictures 00:17:05.440 --> 00:17:07.950 for the Cleveland Indians. Yeah. As Orville said 00:17:07.950 --> 00:17:12.289 to Wilbur, you're right. How do you like that? 00:17:12.410 --> 00:17:14.589 Now they're doing our routines in sporting goods 00:17:14.589 --> 00:17:16.829 stores. Oh, forget about him, Custer. Hey, wait 00:17:16.829 --> 00:17:18.670 a minute. I've got an idea. Mrs. Wetwash's late 00:17:18.670 --> 00:17:21.569 husband used to be a big league ballplayer. Now, 00:17:21.609 --> 00:17:23.549 he was a home run king in other words. Now, maybe 00:17:23.549 --> 00:17:25.009 she'll give you one of his bats for good luck. 00:17:25.089 --> 00:17:27.430 Let's go over to her house and ask her. Oh, okay. 00:17:27.910 --> 00:17:29.890 I'll go right over now, huh? You're right, Abbott. 00:17:30.109 --> 00:17:33.009 As John Adams said to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow... 00:17:33.619 --> 00:17:35.640 How do you like that? I forgot what John Adams 00:17:35.640 --> 00:17:46.859 said to Henry in Watchword 1. Well, good morning, 00:17:46.920 --> 00:17:50.180 Mrs. Wetwash. Oh, hello, Mr. Abbott. Oh, my, 00:17:50.319 --> 00:17:51.960 you know you ought to muzzle that St. Bernard 00:17:51.960 --> 00:17:57.799 dog. Oh, pardon me, it's Costello. Tell me, Costello, 00:17:57.900 --> 00:18:03.609 how are things in Gawker, moron? Mrs. Wetwash, 00:18:03.730 --> 00:18:05.410 I wish you hadn't said that. I was just telling 00:18:05.410 --> 00:18:08.009 Abbott, your face reminds me of a rose. Oh, really? 00:18:08.009 --> 00:18:13.730 An American beauty rose? No. A rhinoceros. Okay, 00:18:13.730 --> 00:18:15.809 set up, Costella. Mrs. Wetwash, Costella's leaving 00:18:15.809 --> 00:18:17.849 for New York to join Joe DiMaggio's play. Take 00:18:17.849 --> 00:18:20.069 Joe's place. Isn't that wonderful? He's going 00:18:20.069 --> 00:18:21.890 to play with the Yanks. Oh, I can't believe it. 00:18:21.890 --> 00:18:24.130 Yes. What do those big Yanks mom with the little 00:18:24.130 --> 00:18:28.009 jerk like him? Mrs. Wetwash, that was an insult. 00:18:28.250 --> 00:18:30.210 I'll have you know that beautiful women find 00:18:30.210 --> 00:18:32.759 me irresistible. I don't... I don't find you 00:18:32.759 --> 00:18:34.680 irresistible. And I don't find you beautiful. 00:18:36.019 --> 00:18:38.240 Quiet, Costella. Ask her for those baseball bats 00:18:38.240 --> 00:18:40.460 her husband left her. Okay. Mrs. Whitwash, I 00:18:40.460 --> 00:18:42.160 understand when your husband was alive, he had 00:18:42.160 --> 00:18:44.200 a lot of old bats. That's a lie. He never went 00:18:44.200 --> 00:18:47.019 out with anybody but me. No, no, no. No, no, 00:18:47.019 --> 00:18:49.539 no, Mrs. Whitwash. Costella means your husband's 00:18:49.539 --> 00:18:51.440 baseball bats. You see, he thought you might 00:18:51.440 --> 00:18:52.920 give him one of those. Yes. That's right, Mrs. 00:18:52.960 --> 00:18:55.359 Whitwash. You see, I need a good bat. Oh, you 00:18:55.359 --> 00:18:57.420 need a good bat. I'll be glad to help you out. 00:18:57.480 --> 00:19:09.519 Can I have the bat right now? Right now. Maryland 00:19:09.519 --> 00:19:11.819 Maxwell from Metro Golden Mare, producers of 00:19:11.819 --> 00:19:14.339 The Sea of Grass. For camel fans everywhere in 00:19:14.339 --> 00:19:16.819 honor of New Orleans Jazz Week, Maryland sings 00:19:16.819 --> 00:19:19.099 for the first time on the air the title song 00:19:19.099 --> 00:19:23.460 of the picture, New Orleans. Do you know what 00:19:23.460 --> 00:19:29.920 it means to miss New Orleans and miss it each 00:19:29.920 --> 00:21:30.630 night? More doctors smoke Camels than any other 00:21:30.630 --> 00:21:32.970 cigarette. Three leading independent research 00:21:32.970 --> 00:21:37.490 organizations asked this question of 113 ,597 00:21:37.490 --> 00:21:40.230 doctors. What cigarette do you smoke, doctor? 00:21:40.869 --> 00:21:44.690 The brand name most was Camel. Now you probably 00:21:44.690 --> 00:21:47.690 enjoy rich, full flavor and cool mildness in 00:21:47.690 --> 00:21:50.730 a cigarette just as much as doctors do. And that's 00:21:50.730 --> 00:21:53.730 why if you're not a Camel smoker now, try a Camel 00:21:53.730 --> 00:21:56.250 on your T -zone. That's tea for taste and tea 00:21:56.250 --> 00:21:59.259 for throat. Your true proving ground for any 00:21:59.259 --> 00:22:03.059 cigarette. See if Camel's rich flavor of superbly 00:22:03.059 --> 00:22:05.740 blended choice tobaccos isn't extra delightful 00:22:05.740 --> 00:22:09.420 to your taste. See if Camel's cool mildness isn't 00:22:09.420 --> 00:22:12.599 in harmony with your throat. See if you too don't 00:22:12.599 --> 00:22:23.579 say Camel's suit my T -zone to a T. Well, Costello, 00:22:23.940 --> 00:22:25.740 I'm going to New York with you. You know, Bucky 00:22:25.740 --> 00:22:27.759 Harris, the Yanks manager gave me a job as coach 00:22:27.759 --> 00:22:29.660 for as long as you're on the team. Look, have 00:22:29.660 --> 00:22:31.630 it. If you're the coach, you must know all the 00:22:31.630 --> 00:22:33.490 players I certainly do Well, you know, I never 00:22:33.490 --> 00:22:34.950 met the guys so you'll have to tell me their 00:22:34.950 --> 00:22:36.390 names and then I'll know who's playing on the 00:22:36.390 --> 00:22:38.170 team Oh, I'll tell you their names but you know, 00:22:38.230 --> 00:22:39.549 strange it may seem they give these ballplayers 00:22:39.549 --> 00:22:41.130 nowadays very peculiar names You mean funny names? 00:22:41.309 --> 00:22:43.289 Strange names, pet names like Dizzy Dean His 00:22:43.289 --> 00:22:44.950 brother Daffy Daffy Dean And their French cousin 00:22:44.950 --> 00:22:47.430 French? Gouffey Gouffey Dean, oh, I see Well, 00:22:47.430 --> 00:22:48.970 let's see, we have on the bags we have who's 00:22:48.970 --> 00:22:50.970 on first, what's on second I don't know who's 00:22:50.970 --> 00:22:52.450 on third That's what I want to find out I say 00:22:52.450 --> 00:22:54.369 who's on first, what's on second I don't know 00:22:54.369 --> 00:22:56.130 who's on third Are you the manager? Yes You're 00:22:56.130 --> 00:22:57.509 gonna be the coach too? Yes And you know the 00:22:57.509 --> 00:22:58.710 fellow's names? Oh, I should Well then, who's 00:22:58.710 --> 00:23:00.160 on first? Yes I mean, the fellow's name. Who? 00:23:00.160 --> 00:23:01.859 The guy on first. Who? The first baseman. Who? 00:23:01.960 --> 00:23:04.059 The guy playing first. Who is on first? I'm asking 00:23:04.059 --> 00:23:06.220 you. Who's on first? That's the man's name. That's 00:23:06.220 --> 00:23:07.240 whose name? Yes. Well, go ahead and tell me. 00:23:07.259 --> 00:23:12.519 That's it. That's who? Yes. Look, you got a first 00:23:12.519 --> 00:23:14.279 baseman. Certainly. Who's playing first? That's 00:23:14.279 --> 00:23:16.440 right. When you pay off the first baseman every 00:23:16.440 --> 00:23:18.140 month, who gets the money? Every dollar of it. 00:23:19.440 --> 00:23:20.779 All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name 00:23:20.779 --> 00:23:22.619 on first base. Who? The guy that gets the money. 00:23:22.640 --> 00:23:23.859 That's it. Who gets the money on first base? 00:23:23.859 --> 00:23:25.880 He does. Every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes 00:23:25.880 --> 00:23:30.470 down and collects it. Who's what? Yes. What's 00:23:30.470 --> 00:23:32.809 wrong with that? Look, all I wanna know is when 00:23:32.809 --> 00:23:34.750 you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign 00:23:34.750 --> 00:23:36.450 his name to the contract? Who? The guy. Who? 00:23:36.549 --> 00:23:37.369 How does he sign his name to the contract? That's 00:23:37.369 --> 00:23:41.289 how he signs it. Who? Yes. All I'm trying to 00:23:41.289 --> 00:23:42.809 find out is what's the guy's name on first base? 00:23:42.829 --> 00:23:44.549 No, what is on second base? I'm not asking you 00:23:44.549 --> 00:23:46.509 who's on second. Who's on first? One baseman 00:23:46.509 --> 00:23:47.769 at a time. Well, that'll change the play as well. 00:23:47.829 --> 00:23:49.809 I'm not changing nobody. Take it easy, buddy. 00:23:49.910 --> 00:23:52.029 I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base? 00:23:52.049 --> 00:23:55.950 That's right. Okay. All right. What's the guy's 00:23:55.950 --> 00:23:57.569 name on first base? No, what is on second? I'm 00:23:57.569 --> 00:23:59.150 not asking you who's on second. Who's on first? 00:23:59.170 --> 00:24:00.809 I don't know. Oh, he's on third. We're not talking 00:24:00.809 --> 00:24:03.630 about him. No, let's forget about him. Now, how 00:24:03.630 --> 00:24:05.349 did I get on third base? Why, you mentioned his 00:24:05.349 --> 00:24:06.910 name. If I mentioned a third baseman's name, 00:24:07.009 --> 00:24:08.589 who did I say is playing third? No, who's playing 00:24:08.589 --> 00:24:10.509 first? What's on first? What's on second? I don't 00:24:10.509 --> 00:24:12.369 know. He's on third. There I go, back on third 00:24:12.369 --> 00:24:15.450 again. What, will you stay on third base and 00:24:15.450 --> 00:24:16.589 don't go off it? All right, I don't even know. 00:24:16.750 --> 00:24:18.549 Now, who's playing third base? Why do you insist 00:24:18.549 --> 00:24:20.210 on putting who on third base? What am I putting 00:24:20.210 --> 00:24:21.970 on third? What is on second? You don't want who 00:24:21.970 --> 00:24:24.210 on second? Who is on first? I don't know. Third 00:24:24.210 --> 00:24:28.509 base! Look, you got outfield? Sure. The left 00:24:28.509 --> 00:24:30.609 fielder's name. Why? I just thought I'd ask. 00:24:30.630 --> 00:24:32.130 Well, I just thought I'd tell you. Then tell 00:24:32.130 --> 00:24:34.069 me who's playing left field. Who is playing first? 00:24:34.190 --> 00:24:38.109 I'm not! Stay out of the infield! What's the 00:24:38.109 --> 00:24:39.869 guy's name in left field? No, what is on second? 00:24:39.890 --> 00:24:41.589 I'm not asking you who's on second. Who's on 00:24:41.589 --> 00:24:43.369 first? I don't know. Third base. Third base. 00:24:45.549 --> 00:24:48.309 And the left fielder's name? Why? Because. Oh, 00:24:48.329 --> 00:24:52.809 he's center field. Look, look, look. You got 00:24:52.809 --> 00:24:54.549 a pitcher on the team. Sure. The pitcher's name. 00:24:54.670 --> 00:24:56.190 Tamara. You don't want to tell me today? I'm 00:24:56.190 --> 00:24:57.829 telling you now. Go ahead. Tamara. What time? 00:24:57.849 --> 00:24:59.549 What time what? What time tomorrow, you're going 00:24:59.549 --> 00:25:01.369 to tell me who's pitching. Now listen, who is 00:25:01.369 --> 00:25:03.619 not pitching? I'll break your arm. When you say 00:25:03.619 --> 00:25:07.119 who's on first, I wanna know what's the pitcher's 00:25:07.119 --> 00:25:08.980 name? What's on second? I don't know, third base. 00:25:12.119 --> 00:25:14.059 Had a catcher? Certainly. The catcher's name. 00:25:14.240 --> 00:25:16.549 Today. Today. And Tamar's pitching. Now you've 00:25:16.549 --> 00:25:18.289 got it. All we got is a couple of days on the 00:25:18.289 --> 00:25:20.869 left. You know, I'm a catcher too. So they tell 00:25:20.869 --> 00:25:22.309 you. I can be behind the plate and do some fancy 00:25:22.309 --> 00:25:23.849 catching. Tamar's pitching on my team and the 00:25:23.849 --> 00:25:25.650 heavy hitter gets up. Yes. Now, the heavy hitter 00:25:25.650 --> 00:25:26.970 bunched the ball. When he bunched the ball, me 00:25:26.970 --> 00:25:28.630 being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy 00:25:28.630 --> 00:25:30.730 out of first base, so I pick up the ball and 00:25:30.730 --> 00:25:32.410 throw it to who? Now that's the first thing you've 00:25:32.410 --> 00:25:34.410 said right. I don't even know what I'm talking 00:25:34.410 --> 00:25:37.349 about. That's all you have to do. Is to throw 00:25:37.349 --> 00:25:39.470 the ball off first base. Yes. Now who's got it? 00:25:39.670 --> 00:25:45.839 Naturally. Well first base somebody's gotta get 00:25:45.839 --> 00:25:48.839 it. Now who hasn't? Naturally. Who? Naturally. 00:25:49.279 --> 00:25:51.380 Naturally? Naturally. So I pick up the ball and 00:25:51.380 --> 00:25:53.259 I throw it to natural. No you don't. You throw 00:25:53.259 --> 00:25:55.299 the ball to who? Naturally. That's different. 00:25:55.440 --> 00:25:57.339 That's what I said. You're not saying that. I 00:25:57.339 --> 00:25:58.740 throw the ball to naturally. You throw it to 00:25:58.740 --> 00:26:01.059 who? Naturally. That's it. That's what I said. 00:26:01.119 --> 00:26:03.099 That's it. You asked me. I throw the ball to 00:26:03.099 --> 00:26:05.099 who? Naturally. Now you asked me. You throw the 00:26:05.099 --> 00:26:07.440 ball to who? Naturally. That's it. Same as you! 00:26:08.579 --> 00:26:12.000 Don't change it around. Same as you! I throw 00:26:12.000 --> 00:26:14.289 the ball to who? Whoever it is drops the ball 00:26:14.289 --> 00:26:16.349 and the guy runs the second. Who picks up the 00:26:16.349 --> 00:26:18.170 ball and throws it to what? What throws it to 00:26:18.170 --> 00:26:19.809 I don't know? I don't know, throws it back to 00:26:19.809 --> 00:26:22.589 tomorrow? Triple play. Another guy gets up and 00:26:22.589 --> 00:26:26.289 it's a long fly ball to be caused. Why? I don't 00:26:26.289 --> 00:26:29.089 know. He's on third and I don't give a darn. 00:26:30.069 --> 00:26:33.769 I said I don't give a darn. Oh, that's our shortstop. 00:26:46.849 --> 00:26:49.009 During the war, the makers of camel cigarettes 00:26:49.009 --> 00:26:51.349 sent a total of more than 150 million free camels 00:26:51.349 --> 00:26:53.710 to our fighting men overseas. Now free camels 00:26:53.710 --> 00:26:56.069 are sent to servicemen's hospitals instead. This 00:26:56.069 --> 00:26:57.849 week, the camels go to Veterans Hospital Fort 00:26:57.849 --> 00:27:00.630 Lyon, Colorado, U .S. AAF Station Hospital Davis 00:27:00.630 --> 00:27:03.069 -Monthan Field, Tucson, Arizona, U .S. Naval 00:27:03.069 --> 00:27:05.670 Hospital Quantico, Virginia, U .S. Marine Hospital 00:27:05.670 --> 00:27:07.869 Baltimore, Maryland, and Veterans Hospital Palo 00:27:07.869 --> 00:27:10.170 Alto, California. Camel broadcasts go out to 00:27:10.170 --> 00:27:12.599 the United States three times a week. are rebroadcast 00:27:12.599 --> 00:27:14.099 to practically every area in the world where 00:27:14.099 --> 00:27:16.200 men are still stationed and to our good neighbors 00:27:16.200 --> 00:27:18.759 in Central and South America. And now back to 00:27:18.759 --> 00:27:21.160 Bud Abbott and Lou Costello. What is that, Lou, 00:27:21.160 --> 00:27:22.420 you've got your hand there? Another telegram? 00:27:22.480 --> 00:27:24.000 Hey Abbott, look, I just got a telegram from 00:27:24.000 --> 00:27:26.039 Joe DiMaggio. Well, go ahead and read it. Okay. 00:27:26.380 --> 00:27:28.599 Dear Lou, just heard your show. I think you have 00:27:28.599 --> 00:27:30.700 the makings of the world's greatest natural ball 00:27:30.700 --> 00:27:33.759 player. You have spiked teeth, a club head, and 00:27:33.759 --> 00:27:36.960 you've been off your base for years. Good night, 00:27:37.119 --> 00:27:39.400 folks. Good night, everybody. And a special good 00:27:39.400 --> 00:27:48.480 night to Joe DiMaggio. Get well quick, Joe. Listen 00:27:48.480 --> 00:27:50.420 to Abbot and Costello again next Thursday night 00:27:50.420 --> 00:27:52.240 when Costello is going to build himself a new 00:27:52.240 --> 00:27:54.680 prefabricated house. You can imagine the trouble 00:27:54.680 --> 00:27:56.599 you'll get into. I don't know whether it'll be 00:27:56.599 --> 00:27:58.839 a one story house or a two story house, but anyway, 00:27:58.960 --> 00:28:07.000 that's another story. Prince Albert, Pipe Appeal. 00:28:07.200 --> 00:28:10.000 They're one and the same thing. Any tobacco burns, 00:28:10.180 --> 00:28:12.059 makes smoke, but where else can you find the 00:28:12.059 --> 00:28:14.319 tobacco that has the Pipe Appeal of Prince Albert? 00:28:14.559 --> 00:28:17.019 The coolness, mildness, the rich, full flavor. 00:28:17.319 --> 00:28:19.240 Prince Albert is specially treated to ensure 00:28:19.240 --> 00:28:21.539 against tongue bite. Crimped cut to smoke slow 00:28:21.539 --> 00:28:24.099 and cool. So pack your pipe with mellow, rich 00:28:24.099 --> 00:28:27.480 P .A. Enjoy Pipe Appeal with Prince Albert. And 00:28:27.480 --> 00:28:29.460 while we're speaking of enjoying yourself, be 00:28:29.460 --> 00:28:32.140 sure to tune in on Grand Ole Opry on NBC Saturday 00:28:32.140 --> 00:28:34.680 night. You all know and love the songs of America. 00:28:34.640 --> 00:28:36.859 but this week you have something extra special 00:28:36.859 --> 00:28:39.859 in store for you. Red Foley and his Gus, Ernest 00:28:39.859 --> 00:28:42.180 Tubb and Roy Acuff. Grand Ole Opry, Saturday 00:28:42.180 --> 00:28:46.599 night on NBC. Be sure to tune in next week for 00:28:46.599 --> 00:28:48.220 another great Abbott & Costello show brought 00:28:48.220 --> 00:28:50.500 to you by Camel Cigarettes. And remember, experience 00:28:50.500 --> 00:28:52.779 is the best teacher. Try a camel. Let your own 00:28:52.779 --> 00:28:54.500 experience tell you why more people are smoking 00:28:54.500 --> 00:29:01.930 camels than ever before. C -A -M -E -L -S. evident 00:29:01.930 --> 00:29:04.349 Costello's famous baseball routine who's on first 00:29:04.349 --> 00:29:06.789 is now available at phonograph records this is 00:29:06.789 --> 00:29:08.490 Michael Roy and Hollywood wishing you all a pleasant 00:29:08.490 --> 00:29:09.869 good night for camel