WEBVTT 00:00:17.579 --> 00:00:20.839 You know what that was? No. That was a theme 00:00:20.839 --> 00:00:25.359 song from I Was a Teenage Werewolf. You could 00:00:25.359 --> 00:00:27.859 have fooled me. Now do you know what this is? 00:00:28.699 --> 00:00:48.090 No. Welcome to Piggy Tailor with Dawes Butler, 00:00:48.270 --> 00:00:50.009 June Peray, Peter Leeds, and the Judd Cotland 00:00:50.009 --> 00:01:21.230 Rhythm Heirs. Well, this was the night we were 00:01:21.230 --> 00:01:23.290 going to bring you tap dancing around the world, 00:01:24.109 --> 00:01:26.430 but due to a jurisdictional dispute between the 00:01:26.430 --> 00:01:30.829 Four Step Brothers and Mrs. Arthur Murray, it'll 00:01:30.829 --> 00:01:33.069 have to be postponed a bit. But it's great to 00:01:33.069 --> 00:01:35.269 be with you tonight. We have a special... Pardon 00:01:35.269 --> 00:01:38.510 me, Mr. Freeberg, but my name is Tweedley. Well, 00:01:38.530 --> 00:01:43.109 we all have our problems. I am the censor from 00:01:43.109 --> 00:01:47.989 the Citizens Radio Committee and... I feel. You, 00:01:48.150 --> 00:01:50.370 uh, from the Citizens Radio Committee, you say? 00:01:50.829 --> 00:01:53.829 That's exactly what I said, yes. And what is 00:01:53.829 --> 00:01:56.510 your purpose in being here? I must okay all the 00:01:56.510 --> 00:02:00.010 material used on your program here. And I think 00:02:00.010 --> 00:02:03.069 the best method is to just sit back here and 00:02:03.069 --> 00:02:06.329 interrupt when I feel it's necessary. You mean 00:02:06.329 --> 00:02:08.250 you plan to stop me every time I do something 00:02:08.250 --> 00:02:12.229 that you think is wrong? Exactly. I'll just sound 00:02:12.229 --> 00:02:16.870 my little horn like this. And then you stop, 00:02:17.110 --> 00:02:20.090 and I'll tell you what's wrong. Uh, somehow I 00:02:20.090 --> 00:02:21.909 can tell this is gonna be one of those days. 00:02:24.229 --> 00:02:26.870 You just go right ahead, Mr. Freeberg. Don't 00:02:26.870 --> 00:02:31.550 mind me. Yeah, now I'd like to say... You forgot 00:02:31.550 --> 00:02:35.650 to say thank you, Mr. Freeberg. Politeness isn't 00:02:35.650 --> 00:02:38.250 essential in radio programming. Your program 00:02:38.250 --> 00:02:40.969 goes into the home. We must be a good influence 00:02:40.969 --> 00:02:44.569 on children. I see. Well, that's a nice little 00:02:44.569 --> 00:02:47.789 horn you have there. Thanks very much, Mr. Tweedley. 00:02:48.189 --> 00:02:50.909 You're welcome. I'm sure. I'd like to sing a 00:02:50.909 --> 00:02:53.229 old river song in honor this week of National 00:02:53.229 --> 00:02:56.750 Mississippi River Boat Paddlewheel Week. Mr. 00:02:56.949 --> 00:02:59.789 May, if you please. Very polite, Mr. Freber. 00:02:59.849 --> 00:03:10.979 Thank you. Alright Tweedley, politeness I dig, 00:03:11.120 --> 00:03:13.419 but what in the world is wrong with Old Man River? 00:03:14.039 --> 00:03:17.400 The word old has a connotation some of the more 00:03:17.400 --> 00:03:20.620 elderly people find distasteful. I would suggest 00:03:20.620 --> 00:03:23.819 you make the substitution please. I suppose you 00:03:23.819 --> 00:03:27.639 insist. Precisely. You may continue. Okay, music. 00:03:28.900 --> 00:03:31.000 You forgot to say thank you. Say thank you, yes, 00:03:31.020 --> 00:03:34.580 okay. Thank you Mr. Tweedley. You're quite welcome, 00:03:34.800 --> 00:03:40.620 I am sure. elderly man river that elderly man 00:03:40.620 --> 00:03:46.280 river he must know something but he don't say 00:03:46.280 --> 00:03:50.419 nothing alright hold it fellas now what Tweedly 00:03:50.419 --> 00:03:54.960 the word something you left off the G but that's 00:03:54.960 --> 00:03:57.740 authentic something something that's the way 00:03:57.740 --> 00:04:00.819 the people I'm sorry talk down there the home 00:04:00.819 --> 00:04:03.120 is a classroom Mr. Freeberg I know you said that 00:04:03.120 --> 00:04:09.719 keep in mind the tiny tots And furthermore, think 00:04:09.719 --> 00:04:13.080 back, you'll recall that you said, but he don't 00:04:13.080 --> 00:04:17.060 say nothing. That was in quotes. Now, really, 00:04:17.060 --> 00:04:19.279 Mr. Freeberg, that's a double negative. Do you 00:04:19.279 --> 00:04:22.879 mean he does say something? No, I just wasn't 00:04:22.879 --> 00:04:28.000 using my head, I guess. I mean, after all, it 00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:30.620 should be grammatically correct, keeping in mind... 00:04:30.620 --> 00:04:34.459 And the tiny tot, yes. You probably mean he doesn't 00:04:34.459 --> 00:04:38.910 say anything. I suppose I mean that, yes, I guess. 00:04:39.629 --> 00:04:41.990 All right, fine, you win. All right, Billy, music. 00:04:42.490 --> 00:04:46.029 Thank you, thank you. You're welcome, I am sure. 00:04:47.850 --> 00:04:52.810 Elderly man river, that elderly man river. He 00:04:52.810 --> 00:04:56.810 must know something, but he doesn't say anything. 00:04:57.550 --> 00:05:01.509 He just keeps rolling, rolling. He just keeps... 00:05:11.210 --> 00:05:15.310 potatoes he doesn't plant cotton and them these 00:05:15.310 --> 00:06:20.199 those that plant Exactly. Now turning to the 00:06:20.199 --> 00:06:24.540 sports page here. Oh yes, and thank you for being 00:06:24.540 --> 00:06:27.660 with us, Mr. Tweedley. You're welcome. I am sure. 00:06:37.160 --> 00:06:39.959 Once more, we present Mr. Robert E. Tainter, 00:06:40.139 --> 00:06:42.399 the man who looks for the dirty linen in the 00:06:42.399 --> 00:06:51.680 history hamper. Here he is, Bob Tainter. When 00:06:51.680 --> 00:06:55.139 did you get out, Bob? This morning. I thought 00:06:55.139 --> 00:06:58.899 you were doing 30 days. I was. But I got in touch 00:06:58.899 --> 00:07:01.120 with a friend of mine in the DA's office. He's 00:07:01.120 --> 00:07:04.759 a big wheel, Stan. A big wheel. Pretty big, huh? 00:07:05.000 --> 00:07:08.220 Yes, he might do you some good sometime. Well, 00:07:08.220 --> 00:07:11.720 I don't think that's going to be necessary. You 00:07:11.720 --> 00:07:17.730 never can tell, Stan. Yeah, well, how did he 00:07:17.730 --> 00:07:20.449 get you out? Well, you know the Confidential 00:07:20.449 --> 00:07:22.949 magazine trial. Mm -hmm. A lot of movie stars 00:07:22.949 --> 00:07:25.490 are suing the magazine for libel. Yeah, there's 00:07:25.490 --> 00:07:28.129 some pretty unpleasant testimony there. Yeah. 00:07:28.769 --> 00:07:30.750 Confidential figures on laying it on the stars, 00:07:30.970 --> 00:07:33.209 pretty good, Stan. I know. Well, when I told 00:07:33.209 --> 00:07:35.850 this wheel was, why don't I see what I can get 00:07:35.850 --> 00:07:42.009 on the folks over at Confidential? He went for 00:07:42.009 --> 00:07:45.250 it. I think it's kind of a cute switch myself. 00:07:46.430 --> 00:07:50.009 Yeah, that's a darling idea. What item of soil, 00:07:50.089 --> 00:07:51.829 then, have you dug out of the history hamper 00:07:51.829 --> 00:07:54.269 for us tonight? Well, it's a scorcher stand. 00:07:55.230 --> 00:08:02.529 I'll bet. Did you ever hear of Giacomo Casabianca? 00:08:03.870 --> 00:08:07.850 Yeah, wasn't he on the Ed Sullivan show? No, 00:08:07.870 --> 00:08:11.720 that's another Giacomo Casabianca. The guy I'm 00:08:11.720 --> 00:08:14.040 talking about was a boy in history. Oh, yeah. 00:08:14.300 --> 00:08:17.720 Now, here's the linen stand. My good friend Earthwing 00:08:17.720 --> 00:08:20.819 Somber will fill you in. Wait a minute, you mean 00:08:20.819 --> 00:08:23.439 THE Earthwing Somber is a good friend of yours? 00:08:23.980 --> 00:08:28.560 Oh, I got a lot on this cookie stand. Got a few 00:08:28.560 --> 00:08:30.779 minutes, I'll tell him. No, no, let's just get 00:08:30.779 --> 00:08:37.159 on with it. Mr. Somber, if you please. Great 00:08:37.159 --> 00:08:41.159 moments in history. But what is the real story 00:08:41.159 --> 00:08:46.000 behind these moments? The time is August in the 00:08:46.000 --> 00:08:51.620 year of 1798. The event, the Battle of the Nile. 00:08:52.360 --> 00:08:55.960 The flagship of the fleet has blown up and caught 00:08:55.960 --> 00:09:00.759 fire. A young lad with jaws clenched stands on 00:09:00.759 --> 00:09:15.870 the bridge. Boy, the time is now. Go stand on 00:09:15.870 --> 00:09:18.789 the burning deck. First you give me the money, 00:09:19.009 --> 00:09:26.730 then I'll stand on the burning deck. Oh, Bob 00:09:26.730 --> 00:09:29.549 Tater, that was awful. I don't believe it. Each 00:09:29.549 --> 00:09:32.389 man has his own stool pigeon stand. Yeah, but 00:09:32.389 --> 00:09:35.509 that boy Casa Bianca was a hero. Well, so was 00:09:35.509 --> 00:09:37.929 my grandfather until he chickened out on Custer's 00:09:37.929 --> 00:09:41.419 last stand. Let's get lost, will ya, Bob? I want 00:09:41.419 --> 00:09:44.080 to introduce Peggy Taylor. Sure, Stan. No offense. 00:09:44.460 --> 00:09:52.799 Here she is, Peggy Taylor. Well, Peggy, I want 00:09:52.799 --> 00:09:55.200 the folks to know more about you. Oh, well, like 00:09:55.200 --> 00:09:58.059 what, Stan? Well, in interviews, it's kind of 00:09:58.059 --> 00:10:00.580 standard practice to ask about hobbies. Hobbies? 00:10:00.779 --> 00:10:03.000 Yeah. Well, when I was a little girl, I raised 00:10:03.000 --> 00:10:06.100 rabbits. You mean, you had the rabbits and they 00:10:06.100 --> 00:10:13.259 raised themselves? Yes. More to the point. Pardon 00:10:13.259 --> 00:10:16.200 me, Miss Taylor. Oh, yes, Mr. Taylor. Where did 00:10:16.200 --> 00:10:18.379 you get the rabbits? Well, they were given to 00:10:18.379 --> 00:10:21.039 me. It could be the old Paola, you know, Stan. 00:10:21.259 --> 00:10:24.200 Oh, stop it, will ya? My father gave them to 00:10:24.200 --> 00:10:27.539 me. There. Now you're satisfied? Sure, Stan. 00:10:28.120 --> 00:10:33.960 Maybe she had something on her father. Oh, just 00:10:33.960 --> 00:10:37.200 quit it, will ya? Peggy wants to sing. Yeah? 00:10:37.639 --> 00:10:39.759 My friend at the DA's office will be glad to 00:10:39.759 --> 00:10:43.059 hear that. So will a lot of people. Sing, will 00:10:43.059 --> 00:11:15.460 you please, Peggy? Hang that cradle, Mary, mine 00:11:15.460 --> 00:11:24.580 On that Mason -Dixon line And sing out from Virginia 00:11:24.580 --> 00:11:30.700 To Tennessee with all the love that's in ya Weep 00:11:30.700 --> 00:11:52.740 no more, my lady kisses I'll deliver the minute 00:11:52.740 --> 00:12:26.480 that Dixon line and sing out from Virginia to 00:12:26.480 --> 00:12:29.440 Tennessee with all the love that's in ya we've 00:12:29.440 --> 00:12:34.080 no more my ladies sing that song again to me 00:12:34.080 --> 00:12:40.259 so soft and low just as though you had me on 00:12:40.259 --> 00:13:26.309 your knee a million baby kisses are Spoon, Miss 00:13:26.309 --> 00:13:30.509 Edna St. Louis, Missouri, and Dr. Linus Quoit. 00:13:30.990 --> 00:13:34.149 I am your moderator, Fulbrook Mason. Now to meet 00:13:34.149 --> 00:13:37.269 the panelists. First of all, Dr. Quoit, I believe 00:13:37.269 --> 00:13:40.210 you received your doctor's degree at MIT. What 00:13:40.210 --> 00:13:42.889 was your fee? I received my doctor's degree in 00:13:42.889 --> 00:13:46.769 Little Orphan Annie. That was my major. My minor 00:13:46.769 --> 00:13:50.549 was Little Abner. Next, Miss Edna St. Louis, 00:13:50.549 --> 00:13:53.549 Missouri, who received her master's degree in 00:13:53.549 --> 00:13:57.309 Tarzan. Yes, the subject of my thesis for my 00:13:57.309 --> 00:13:59.850 master's degree was Tarzan and the Apes and his 00:13:59.850 --> 00:14:05.750 influence on the 20th century culture. Now our 00:14:05.750 --> 00:14:09.509 third panelist, G .L. Spoon, a roving reporter. 00:14:09.830 --> 00:14:11.970 And you covered the comic strips, didn't you? 00:14:12.370 --> 00:14:14.809 Ah, that's right. The funnies are my beat, yeah. 00:14:15.049 --> 00:14:18.799 And what school did you attend? Well, I didn't 00:14:18.799 --> 00:14:21.200 attend any school as such. Let's just say I'm 00:14:21.200 --> 00:14:23.740 from the School of Hard Knocks. That's not original, 00:14:23.759 --> 00:14:27.639 but it's very apt. I see. I may not have any 00:14:27.639 --> 00:14:29.919 doctor's degrees like some other people around 00:14:29.919 --> 00:14:34.059 here, but I'll go on the $64 ,000 question anytime 00:14:34.059 --> 00:14:38.600 with my subject. And that is? Dick Tracy. I don't 00:14:38.600 --> 00:14:40.279 see a reason to go around there with a chip on 00:14:40.279 --> 00:14:42.740 your shoulder, Mr. Spoon. Look. I haven't got 00:14:42.740 --> 00:14:44.059 any chip on my shoulder. Yeah, I have a chip 00:14:44.059 --> 00:14:46.100 on your shoulder. It's obvious. I do not have 00:14:46.100 --> 00:14:47.960 a chip on my shoulder, Dr. Coyote. I don't have 00:14:47.960 --> 00:14:50.080 to go to college to learn about Dick Tracy. Gentlemen, 00:14:50.159 --> 00:14:53.820 gentlemen, if you have anything to say, please, 00:14:54.120 --> 00:14:57.399 please raise your hand. Please raise your hand. 00:14:57.539 --> 00:15:00.100 Now then, the first question today is sent in 00:15:00.100 --> 00:15:03.779 by a listener is, why doesn't Tarzan do as much 00:15:03.779 --> 00:15:07.659 swinging as he used to? Dr. Coyote, too old for 00:15:07.659 --> 00:15:11.100 it. Oh, no. Wait a minute, doctor. Tarzan's my 00:15:11.100 --> 00:15:13.580 subject. Furthermore, he's not too old. The man 00:15:13.580 --> 00:15:17.019 is too old. No, no, no. It's just that his vines 00:15:17.019 --> 00:15:21.899 aren't so good as they used to be. Actually, 00:15:22.080 --> 00:15:23.779 I think we can dispense with that vine stuff, 00:15:23.899 --> 00:15:26.320 Miss Missouri. We all know that he uses ropes. 00:15:26.480 --> 00:15:29.000 Oh, wait a minute. He doesn't use ropes? I guess 00:15:29.000 --> 00:15:32.379 I ought to know. Tarzan uses real genuine ropes. 00:15:32.679 --> 00:15:35.259 See? I mean, he uses vines. Well, look, vines 00:15:35.259 --> 00:15:38.500 are ropes. The fact is a 72 -year -old man is 00:15:38.500 --> 00:15:47.909 not going to go swinging across the ravine. I 00:15:47.909 --> 00:15:49.789 don't think Little Orphan Annie will ever see 00:15:49.789 --> 00:15:53.850 45 again at this point. Wait, wait, now she's 00:15:53.850 --> 00:15:56.250 getting a little senile. I mean, I noticed that 00:15:56.250 --> 00:15:58.190 in her dialogue balloon. A little senile, eh? 00:15:58.330 --> 00:16:00.289 Well, I think the way she's handing those criminals 00:16:00.289 --> 00:16:02.029 in the canyon there doesn't look like the work 00:16:02.029 --> 00:16:05.789 of an old lady, does it? I don't think it'll 00:16:05.789 --> 00:16:09.610 wait. I don't think it'll wait. I don't think 00:16:09.610 --> 00:16:12.049 it'll wait. I don't think it'll wait. I don't 00:16:12.049 --> 00:16:15.549 think it'll wait. I don't think it'll wait. I 00:16:15.549 --> 00:16:26.309 don't think it'll wait. I don't think it'll wait. 00:16:26.220 --> 00:16:29.980 I certainly did. In fact, it went to sleep. We're 00:16:29.980 --> 00:16:31.700 going to talk about criminals here. I think we 00:16:31.700 --> 00:16:34.779 should leave that to the Dick Tracy expert. Oh, 00:16:34.779 --> 00:16:37.080 that's a wonderful idea. All right. Now here's 00:16:37.080 --> 00:16:40.460 our next question. Is Morin Plenty really guilty 00:16:40.460 --> 00:16:42.519 of the triple murder? Now we're getting somewhere. 00:16:42.940 --> 00:16:44.740 Never mind that. It's dull stuff. Dull. What 00:16:44.740 --> 00:16:48.139 do you mean dull? Dull. Let's talk about some 00:16:48.139 --> 00:16:50.360 of the orphan Annie characters. Punjab, for instance. 00:16:50.500 --> 00:16:52.299 Now there's a man. Oh, Punjab. It sounds like 00:16:52.299 --> 00:16:56.259 a misprint. a leopard with a four -inch letter 00:16:56.259 --> 00:16:58.100 opener? Listen, you just probably clunk over 00:16:58.100 --> 00:16:59.580 the leopard. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait 00:16:59.580 --> 00:17:01.600 a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. I got 00:17:01.600 --> 00:17:03.879 my hand up, I got my - Just once, one at a time. 00:17:04.420 --> 00:17:06.880 Just one, please. You got your hand up, go ahead. 00:17:06.880 --> 00:17:09.599 All right, I - You don't, you don't. Listen, 00:17:10.160 --> 00:17:12.180 your hands still asleep? Will you let me talk? 00:17:12.339 --> 00:17:17.279 I have to learn the language. Listen, I was under 00:17:17.279 --> 00:17:19.500 the impression we were talking about Dick Tracy. 00:17:19.680 --> 00:17:22.099 That's correct. Are we gonna play the game? Yeah! 00:17:24.349 --> 00:17:26.450 Tracy is such a world -beater, how come he let 00:17:26.450 --> 00:17:28.950 more than 20 sister -in -law put a 38 caliber 00:17:28.950 --> 00:17:30.470 bullet in his skull? Yeah, how about that? Now, 00:17:30.470 --> 00:17:33.769 how come that? It was a 22 short and it was just 00:17:33.769 --> 00:17:37.299 a flesh wound. It didn't actually enter the skull. 00:17:37.759 --> 00:17:43.079 Shall we just stick to the question? I just want 00:17:43.079 --> 00:17:45.359 your opinion. That girl in the skimpy dress shot 00:17:45.359 --> 00:17:49.839 him in the head. Ladies and gentlemen of the 00:17:49.839 --> 00:17:52.359 radio audience, these are the opinions of our 00:17:52.359 --> 00:17:54.779 panelists and do not necessarily represent the 00:17:54.779 --> 00:18:00.819 opinions of CBS radio and its affiliates. The 00:18:00.819 --> 00:18:04.920 question is now, is Moran Plenty guilty? Hmm? 00:18:05.180 --> 00:18:09.119 Miss Missouri? Guilty. Dr. Coyne? Not guilty. 00:18:09.640 --> 00:18:12.700 Mr. Spoon? I can't express my opinions on this 00:18:12.700 --> 00:18:14.740 because I may be called in as an expert witness 00:18:14.740 --> 00:18:20.619 at the time of the trial. I guess we have a hung 00:18:20.619 --> 00:18:25.440 jury here tonight. Well, the next question, subject, 00:18:25.819 --> 00:18:28.930 is wardrobe. Wardrobe. Yes, wardrobe. Does or 00:18:28.930 --> 00:18:32.069 does not Orphan Annie have more than one red 00:18:32.069 --> 00:18:35.250 dress? Hold Dr. Floyd's hand shut up. You're 00:18:35.250 --> 00:18:38.230 first. Ah, yes. The man who received his doctor's 00:18:38.230 --> 00:18:41.289 degree in Little Orphan Annie. You have got to 00:18:41.289 --> 00:18:43.309 keep rubbing that in, don't you? I'm not rubbing 00:18:43.309 --> 00:18:45.349 it in, sir. I'm merely stating a fact. I have 00:18:45.349 --> 00:18:48.210 a doctor's degree. Dr. Floyd had his hand, you 00:18:48.210 --> 00:18:50.690 know, up his nose. When he was a little kid, 00:18:50.750 --> 00:18:52.369 he was a little fat, spoiled kid. I can tell 00:18:52.369 --> 00:19:11.869 the type. I happen to know that Annie has a whole 00:19:11.869 --> 00:19:14.549 closet full of dresses. It's not the same dress. 00:19:14.589 --> 00:19:19.250 She changes them daily. Daily? Oh, please. I 00:19:19.250 --> 00:19:22.930 can recognize the same dress day in and day out. 00:19:23.190 --> 00:19:24.589 Madam, they are different. They're different 00:19:24.589 --> 00:19:26.769 dresses. That is a fact. Take it from me. That's 00:19:26.769 --> 00:19:29.269 my subject. She breaks them up with a nice little 00:19:29.269 --> 00:19:31.990 blue sweater and a chic belt and scarf every 00:19:31.990 --> 00:19:34.450 once in a while. Then how does she break up those 00:19:34.450 --> 00:19:37.329 chic little white cotton stockings? Now she hasn't 00:19:37.329 --> 00:19:42.910 changed those stockings in 25 years. I take that 00:19:42.910 --> 00:19:45.710 as a personal affront, sir. A personal affront. 00:19:45.829 --> 00:19:48.309 I intended it as so. Even if it were the same 00:19:48.309 --> 00:19:49.809 pair of stockings, I think Annie would rinse 00:19:49.809 --> 00:19:53.180 them out every night. It's so like her. It's 00:19:53.180 --> 00:19:58.880 so like her. Oh, so like her. He rinses them 00:19:58.880 --> 00:20:03.160 out. Take it from her. Listen, madam, you should 00:20:03.160 --> 00:20:07.799 look that good in white cotton stock. Rich or 00:20:07.799 --> 00:20:12.579 unrich. Hey, uh, Dwight, that Daddy Warbucks 00:20:12.579 --> 00:20:16.240 is a pretty wealthy guy, right? Only one of the 00:20:16.240 --> 00:20:19.819 top billionaires in the world, that's all. That's 00:20:19.819 --> 00:20:21.700 all. Well, then why doesn't he spring for a few 00:20:21.700 --> 00:20:25.480 bucks and get her a home permanent? Yeah! Yes, 00:20:25.480 --> 00:20:28.640 I'm here. It really looks like a rat's nest. 00:20:29.480 --> 00:20:31.519 A rat's nest, eh? Listen, madam, I noticed the 00:20:31.519 --> 00:20:33.920 Marcel has gone out of Tarzan's hair lately. 00:20:34.400 --> 00:20:37.400 Are you kidding? Well, he's wearing a hairpiece. 00:20:38.420 --> 00:20:42.559 What? He's wearing a hairpiece. Well, I suppose 00:20:42.559 --> 00:20:45.359 that crew cup that Dick Tracy affected is a derriere 00:20:45.359 --> 00:20:49.009 Cree. Oh, no! Oh, oh, look at this gal. You hit 00:20:49.009 --> 00:20:51.430 a man when he's down and wounded. He's up. He'll 00:20:51.430 --> 00:20:53.569 probably get amnesia. No, the man's back on his 00:20:53.569 --> 00:20:56.289 feet and serves him right, the big jerk. Big 00:20:56.289 --> 00:20:59.029 jerk? That goes for Tarzan, too. Oh, no. Oh, 00:20:59.069 --> 00:21:01.309 no, listen here, Dr. Whitestocking. You and so 00:21:01.309 --> 00:21:08.869 do we. No, and he... Our time is up. And that's 00:21:08.869 --> 00:21:10.750 the animals of our time. Yes, it is. I'm very 00:21:10.750 --> 00:21:16.049 sure. And that concludes another episode of our 00:21:16.049 --> 00:21:18.769 panel show. face the funniest. Now it's good 00:21:18.769 --> 00:21:22.589 night to Mr. G .L. Spoon. If vandals kidnap you, 00:21:22.809 --> 00:21:25.089 look for fingerprints on or about your person. 00:21:25.309 --> 00:21:29.990 That's a crime stopper. Oh, indeed it is. And 00:21:29.990 --> 00:21:35.109 Dr. Linus Quint? Yie. Arf, arf. Gloriosky, it's 00:21:35.109 --> 00:21:39.569 been grand being here. Finally, Mrs. Edna St. 00:21:39.690 --> 00:21:44.089 Louis, Missouri. Me? Panelist? You? Not originally. 00:21:47.279 --> 00:21:50.079 And so it's good night until next week. Listen, 00:21:50.240 --> 00:21:59.799 madam, I'd like to take a few points home. Now 00:21:59.799 --> 00:22:15.839 for my next number. I'd like to sing a favorite. 00:22:16.039 --> 00:22:18.819 It's a favorite of mine, and I hope it's a favorite 00:22:18.819 --> 00:22:24.920 of yours. It's called the Rock Island Line, and 00:22:24.920 --> 00:22:33.460 it goes like this. Now, this here's a story about 00:22:33.460 --> 00:22:36.180 the Rock Island Line. Now, the Rock Island Line, 00:22:36.259 --> 00:22:39.339 she run down into New Orleans. And just outside 00:22:39.339 --> 00:22:42.660 of New Orleans, there's a big toll gate. Pardon 00:22:42.660 --> 00:22:45.890 me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Yeah. Are 00:22:45.890 --> 00:22:51.309 you going to sing the song, or read it, or what? 00:22:54.970 --> 00:22:57.750 Well, I'm going to sing it, but first of all, 00:22:57.750 --> 00:23:00.269 I always tell a little of the story behind the 00:23:00.269 --> 00:23:03.869 Rock Island line. Sort of sketching a little 00:23:03.869 --> 00:23:07.970 of the background, as it were. You are going 00:23:07.970 --> 00:23:09.950 to sing it, though? Yeah, I get to it. Well, 00:23:09.950 --> 00:23:12.549 let's get to it, then, eh? Okay. And all the 00:23:12.549 --> 00:23:14.809 trains that come to the tollgate... Why'd he 00:23:14.809 --> 00:23:17.750 get to pay the man some money? But of course, 00:23:18.109 --> 00:23:20.269 if you got certain things on board, you're okay. 00:23:20.369 --> 00:23:21.289 You don't have to pay the man nothing. I mean, 00:23:21.549 --> 00:23:23.269 you're okay with him. All right, all right. Let's 00:23:23.269 --> 00:23:25.529 step it right along. Let's snap it up. Snap it 00:23:25.529 --> 00:23:28.630 up. Okay. And just now we see a train. She's 00:23:28.630 --> 00:23:30.609 coming down the line. And she went and got up 00:23:30.609 --> 00:23:32.849 to the toll gate. The driver he shot down and 00:23:32.849 --> 00:23:37.650 the man he saved. I got pigs. I got horses. I 00:23:37.650 --> 00:23:42.200 got cows. Look, you can't skip all of that. You 00:23:42.200 --> 00:23:45.640 didn't let me name all the animals. Yes, I know, 00:23:45.740 --> 00:23:47.740 but we don't need that. You didn't let me get 00:23:47.740 --> 00:23:51.339 to the sheep. Well, that doesn't make any difference. 00:23:52.099 --> 00:24:00.380 Well, it makes a difference to the sheep. Yes, 00:24:00.380 --> 00:24:02.359 I know, but let's get the train rhythm going 00:24:02.359 --> 00:24:05.319 and never mind the sheep, okay? Have the driver 00:24:05.319 --> 00:24:08.779 say, I got whole livestock, I got whole livestock, 00:24:08.920 --> 00:24:25.490 I got whole... I didn't mention the sheep. I 00:24:25.490 --> 00:24:29.150 know, but let's skip the recitation. Let's get 00:24:29.150 --> 00:24:30.890 to the meat of it. I come to the best part now. 00:24:30.910 --> 00:24:33.390 I come to the part where the driver fool him. 00:24:38.529 --> 00:24:43.619 He fool him? Yeah, he say... I fooled you, I 00:24:43.619 --> 00:24:46.819 fooled you. Look, let's just sing the song. Let 00:24:46.819 --> 00:24:48.900 me tell you how he fooled the throwgate driver 00:24:48.900 --> 00:24:51.240 with the pig iron. Will you just sing the song? 00:24:51.259 --> 00:24:54.299 Well, that's a payoff to the routine, you know. 00:24:54.640 --> 00:24:57.019 I get big reactions to it in clubs. Will you 00:24:57.019 --> 00:25:00.099 just sing the song, please? Well, okay. A lot 00:25:00.099 --> 00:25:01.700 of people waiting to see our story... Will you 00:25:01.700 --> 00:25:04.299 just sing the song? ...come out, you know. Will 00:25:04.299 --> 00:25:05.920 you just sing the song? Well, okay. You've been 00:25:05.920 --> 00:25:08.460 disappointed, that's all. I'll take the chance. 00:25:08.599 --> 00:25:13.380 Okay. Hold a rock on in line. Here's the mighty 00:25:13.380 --> 00:25:15.200 good road. Hold a rock on... You sure you don't 00:25:15.200 --> 00:25:20.359 want the pig iron part? Okay? The line, here's 00:25:20.359 --> 00:25:22.940 the line to right. Hold a rock on in line. Here's 00:25:22.940 --> 00:25:25.079 the mighty good road. When it falls, the rider 00:25:25.079 --> 00:25:26.839 got the rider right. You finally get the ticket. 00:25:27.220 --> 00:25:29.940 That's it. Rock on in line. Mumbles, mumbles, 00:25:30.079 --> 00:25:33.359 mumbles. What's this? Get your chickens at the 00:25:33.359 --> 00:25:36.920 station? Get your ticket. Get your ticket at 00:25:36.920 --> 00:25:39.579 the station. Oh, get your ticket at the station. 00:25:44.880 --> 00:25:57.740 Try not to interrupt me, will ya? uh... but but 00:25:57.740 --> 00:26:02.759 but but but but but but but but but but but but 00:26:02.759 --> 00:26:10.380 but but but but but but but but but but but but 00:26:10.380 --> 00:26:11.019 but but but but but but but but but but but but 00:26:11.019 --> 00:26:24.369 but it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's 00:26:24.369 --> 00:26:26.329 it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's 00:26:26.329 --> 00:26:26.329 it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's 00:26:26.329 --> 00:26:26.430 it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's 00:26:26.430 --> 00:26:29.829 it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's 00:26:29.829 --> 00:26:51.740 it's you're going to forget about the big guy. 00:26:51.779 --> 00:26:54.339 Well, I'm just trying to sketch in a little of 00:26:54.339 --> 00:26:56.920 the background. Yes, sketch in a little of the 00:26:56.920 --> 00:27:00.099 background. You're going to release the record? 00:27:00.460 --> 00:27:21.160 No, I don't think so. Okay. Okay. And also that's 00:27:21.160 --> 00:27:24.380 part of my latest capital album entitled A Child's 00:27:24.380 --> 00:27:30.019 Garden of Freeburg. Capital album number X144250. 00:27:31.799 --> 00:27:33.339 Well, I'd like to tell you about next week's 00:27:33.339 --> 00:27:36.839 show, but the entire script blew out of my producer's 00:27:36.839 --> 00:27:47.849 car and he was arrested as a litter bug. As soon 00:27:47.849 --> 00:27:51.630 as it gets up bail, why, I'll let you know. I 00:27:51.630 --> 00:27:53.329 hope you'll be with us next week. Meanwhile, 00:27:53.410 --> 00:27:55.170 this is Stan Freeberg saying thanks for being 00:27:55.170 --> 00:28:17.799 with us. God bless you and good night. featuring 00:28:17.799 --> 00:28:20.059 the music of Billy May, Judd Conlin for the Bears, 00:28:20.200 --> 00:28:22.240 and the songs of Peggy Taylor, the Dorf Butler, 00:28:22.420 --> 00:28:25.559 Peter Lee, and June Beret. Bud Sewell speaking.