WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.740 The Jack Benny program presented by Lucky Strike. 00:00:11.699 --> 00:00:14.560 The Lucky Strike program starring Jack Benny 00:00:14.560 --> 00:00:16.559 with Barry Livingston, Phil Harris, Rochester, 00:00:16.719 --> 00:00:30.969 Dennis Day, and yours truly, Don Wilson. And 00:00:30.969 --> 00:00:33.070 now, ladies and gentlemen, let's go out to Jack 00:00:33.070 --> 00:00:35.049 Benny's house in Beverly Hills. It's morning 00:00:35.049 --> 00:00:37.549 and Rochester is preparing the bath for his boss. 00:00:40.570 --> 00:00:42.929 Well, that's enough water. When Mr. Benny takes 00:00:42.929 --> 00:00:45.609 a bath, he wants everything just right. I better 00:00:45.609 --> 00:00:49.649 check. Bath mat, bath towel, bath salt, soap, 00:00:50.070 --> 00:00:55.390 rubber duck, celluloid boat, and life preserver. 00:00:57.630 --> 00:00:59.670 Better tie the life preserver to the faucet. 00:00:59.789 --> 00:01:02.250 Last time the plug came out, Mr. Benny had to 00:01:02.250 --> 00:01:07.650 fight his way upstream like a savage. Trouble 00:01:07.650 --> 00:01:10.209 that man goes through to take a bath. I'm glad 00:01:10.209 --> 00:01:13.230 he don't do it often. He showers most of the 00:01:13.230 --> 00:01:17.290 time. Well, I guess that's... Good morning, Rochester. 00:01:17.489 --> 00:01:19.670 Good morning, boss. Your bath is ready. Well, 00:01:19.670 --> 00:01:21.269 I'm in a hurry this morning, so I'll just take 00:01:21.269 --> 00:01:24.329 a shower. But boss, the tub is all ready. I don't 00:01:24.329 --> 00:01:26.329 care. I'm going to take a shower. The bath mat, 00:01:26.450 --> 00:01:28.969 the towels. I'm gonna take a shower. The bath 00:01:28.969 --> 00:01:32.090 sauce, the soap? I'm gonna take a shower. The 00:01:32.090 --> 00:01:34.189 rubber duck, the celluloid boat, the life was 00:01:34.189 --> 00:01:39.090 under? Well... You gonna take a bath? No, give 00:01:39.090 --> 00:01:41.549 me the rubber duck. I'll hold it in the shower. 00:01:48.329 --> 00:01:50.849 In Rochester, next time, don't blow the duck 00:01:50.849 --> 00:01:53.590 up so high. The way its eyes pop out, it looks 00:01:53.590 --> 00:02:01.500 like Eddie Cantor. I'll fix that. No, you better 00:02:01.500 --> 00:02:04.120 put the air back in. Now it's so wrinkled, it 00:02:04.120 --> 00:02:08.680 looks like Fred Allen. Never mind, I'll blow 00:02:08.680 --> 00:02:10.680 it up myself. You better hurry with your shower, 00:02:10.780 --> 00:02:12.740 Professor LeBlanc. Your violin teacher's waiting 00:02:12.740 --> 00:02:15.680 in the library. Oh yes, I have to take my violin 00:02:15.680 --> 00:02:18.020 lesson today. Well, Rochester, you go downstairs 00:02:18.020 --> 00:02:22.099 and get the house cleaned up. Okay. Get the house 00:02:22.099 --> 00:02:25.330 cleaned up. Every day the same thing. dusting, 00:02:25.449 --> 00:02:28.409 washing, cleaning, scrubbing. If I could have 00:02:28.409 --> 00:02:31.270 guessed who Mrs. Hush was, I'd have... No, I'd 00:02:31.270 --> 00:02:39.110 only had more things to dust. And I was so sure 00:02:39.110 --> 00:02:44.289 it was Lena Horne. Well, I better go in the kitchen 00:02:44.289 --> 00:02:47.750 now. Oh my goodness, what's that? Mr. Benny! 00:02:48.330 --> 00:02:51.710 Mr. Benny! Mr. Benny! Mr. Benny, what happened? 00:02:52.829 --> 00:03:06.289 I broke my rubber duck. See? Shall I take it 00:03:06.289 --> 00:03:08.810 down and have it vulcanized? No, let's wait and 00:03:08.810 --> 00:03:12.009 see what Christmas brings. Now Rochester, tell 00:03:12.009 --> 00:03:30.400 Professor LeBlanc I'll be right down. No, no, 00:03:30.520 --> 00:03:33.479 Mr. Bene, please tune up the violin. I will make 00:03:33.479 --> 00:03:41.219 the A on the piano. No, no, no, you are flat. 00:03:41.439 --> 00:03:46.580 Pull the string up a little tighter. Okay. Tighter. 00:03:48.879 --> 00:03:53.500 Tighter. Oh, darn it, the string broke. Good, 00:03:53.580 --> 00:04:00.050 that's one down and three to go. Well, you better 00:04:00.050 --> 00:04:01.789 put a new string on, Professor, while I open 00:04:01.789 --> 00:04:05.150 the window. It's kind of hot in here. There. 00:04:06.110 --> 00:04:08.969 Hey, Stevie, kick it to me! And then I'll... 00:04:08.969 --> 00:04:11.569 Look, there's Mr. Benny in the window! Hello, 00:04:11.650 --> 00:04:14.289 Mr. Benny! Oh, hello, Joey! Hello, Stevie! Hello, 00:04:14.289 --> 00:04:16.889 Mr. Benny! Say, Mr. Benny, some of us kids are 00:04:16.889 --> 00:04:18.930 gonna play football. Can you come out and play 00:04:18.930 --> 00:04:22.310 with us? Aw, gee, I can't, Joey. I gotta take 00:04:22.310 --> 00:04:31.420 my violin lesson. Well, maybe a little later. 00:04:31.720 --> 00:04:34.439 Okay, we'll wait for you. Mr. Benee, you better 00:04:34.439 --> 00:04:38.800 close the window. It will be quieter. Okay. Here's 00:04:38.800 --> 00:04:41.139 your violin. We will start with the piece I gave 00:04:41.139 --> 00:04:45.240 you last time. What was it again? The glow worm. 00:04:45.540 --> 00:04:48.259 Oh, yes, Mr. The glow worm. It is very pretty. 00:04:48.720 --> 00:05:03.569 Commence. Okay. Mr. Benee. Mr. Benee, it is such 00:05:03.569 --> 00:05:11.970 a small worm. Do not kill it. Oh, I'm sorry. 00:05:12.269 --> 00:05:21.550 I'll take it again. Mr. Benee, what are the plink 00:05:21.550 --> 00:05:30.610 plinks? I'm stepping over the worm. Mr. Benee. 00:05:30.720 --> 00:05:37.360 Leave the jokes to the comedians. Yes, sir. Perhaps 00:05:37.360 --> 00:05:39.379 we better limber up a little more with the exercises. 00:05:39.699 --> 00:05:57.600 As you wish. Nero played while Rome was burning 00:05:57.600 --> 00:06:02.819 right now for a match I'm yearning. No, Monsieur 00:06:02.819 --> 00:06:06.420 Bene, you are sounding worse than ever. But Professor, 00:06:06.420 --> 00:06:09.180 I've been practicing two hours every day. How 00:06:09.180 --> 00:06:13.620 can you stand it? What? Now look, that is enough 00:06:13.620 --> 00:06:15.860 of the exercises. Let us go back to the lesson. 00:06:16.160 --> 00:06:18.620 This time, get the tempo right. We will use the 00:06:18.620 --> 00:06:30.759 metronome. Okay. Tick tock, tick tock. Michel 00:06:30.759 --> 00:06:33.360 Benet, what is that? Eastern Columbia, Broadway 00:06:33.360 --> 00:06:49.699 at night. And what is that? Follies Burlesse, 00:06:49.860 --> 00:06:56.910 Main Street at 6. The third girl from the end 00:06:56.910 --> 00:07:01.310 with the red hair, oh la la. Professor, Professor 00:07:01.310 --> 00:07:04.730 LeBlanc. Excuse me, I hope you will not say anything 00:07:04.730 --> 00:07:08.310 to my wife. Your wife, why? She's the third girl 00:07:08.310 --> 00:07:13.370 from the other end. Oh, she's the one with the, 00:07:13.709 --> 00:07:17.790 oh, your wife. Well, anyway, Professor, let's 00:07:17.790 --> 00:07:19.290 get on with the lesson. I want to go out and 00:07:19.290 --> 00:08:59.259 play football. Oui, oui, commence. Mr. Benny. 00:09:00.440 --> 00:09:05.700 Mr. Benny. Mr. Benny. Mr. Benny, please. The 00:09:05.700 --> 00:09:08.080 lesson, she is older. Will you please pay me 00:09:08.080 --> 00:09:11.100 my money now and don't keep me waiting like always. 00:09:11.179 --> 00:09:13.220 Oh, yes. Yes, Professor. I'll go down my vault 00:09:13.220 --> 00:09:15.960 and get it. Oh, excuse me. There's the door. 00:09:16.179 --> 00:09:18.539 The money for the lesson, please. I'll be right 00:09:18.539 --> 00:09:22.299 back. Hello, Mr. Benny. Oh, hello, Dennis. Come 00:09:22.299 --> 00:09:25.200 on in. Say, Dennis, didn't I see you at the Notre 00:09:25.200 --> 00:09:27.480 Dame USC football game yesterday? Yeah, I was 00:09:27.480 --> 00:09:30.169 there. Well, I had an awful time getting my tickets. 00:09:30.210 --> 00:09:32.129 How'd you get yours? From my cousin. He plays 00:09:32.129 --> 00:09:35.450 for Notre Dame. Notre Dame? Oh, of course. Certainly. 00:09:35.509 --> 00:09:38.889 You're Irish. What's your cousin's name? Kazakowski. 00:09:46.190 --> 00:09:49.970 Kazakowski? His real name is McNulty. What? He 00:09:49.970 --> 00:09:57.110 changed it to get on the team. Well, anyway, 00:09:57.190 --> 00:09:59.350 there was a lot of excitement and I thought Notre 00:09:59.350 --> 00:10:06.409 Dame played great. So did UCLA. Dennis, UCLA 00:10:06.409 --> 00:10:08.950 didn't play yesterday. USC sent for them in the 00:10:08.950 --> 00:10:14.230 third quarter. Dennis, what are you talking? 00:10:14.289 --> 00:10:16.850 Mr. Benny, please. I am waiting for my money. 00:10:17.129 --> 00:10:18.809 Oh, yes, yes, Professor. I'll go in my vault 00:10:18.809 --> 00:10:20.409 and get it. Well, I'll run along, Mr. Benny. 00:10:20.490 --> 00:10:22.029 I got to go to the recording studio and make 00:10:22.029 --> 00:10:25.029 a record. A record? You know, Dennis... I made 00:10:25.029 --> 00:10:28.009 a whole album of records, a lot of comedy with 00:10:28.009 --> 00:10:30.730 my cash, and a couple of violin solos. You did? 00:10:30.929 --> 00:10:33.070 Yeah. You know, you can get them in any music 00:10:33.070 --> 00:10:35.049 store. Is there anything else you want to advertise 00:10:35.049 --> 00:10:41.710 before I leave? No, no, no. That's all. Well, 00:10:41.710 --> 00:10:43.690 I got to run along. Goodbye, Mr. Benny. So long, 00:10:43.730 --> 00:10:46.049 Dennis. Oh, by the way, kid, is your mother going 00:10:46.049 --> 00:10:47.970 to have a Christmas tree? Yeah, but this year 00:10:47.970 --> 00:10:55.980 she's going to buy it from somebody else. Well, 00:10:56.080 --> 00:10:58.299 if she changes her mind, I'll be at Sunset in 00:10:58.299 --> 00:11:02.840 Fairfax. Okay. Goodbye. Gee, I better start a 00:11:02.840 --> 00:11:04.840 week earlier this Christmas. I had to burn ten 00:11:04.840 --> 00:11:08.360 of them last year, huh? Mr. Bene, you haven't 00:11:08.360 --> 00:11:10.639 paid me for your lesson. Oh yes, yes, Professor. 00:11:10.779 --> 00:11:12.899 How thoughtless of me. I'll go into my vault 00:11:12.899 --> 00:11:22.379 and get your money. See, I wonder who keeps it 00:11:22.379 --> 00:11:26.179 further underground, me or Fort Knox? I must 00:11:26.179 --> 00:11:28.039 ask him someday when I'm there to collect the 00:11:28.039 --> 00:12:04.519 rent. What's the password? The British are coming. 00:12:05.840 --> 00:12:08.779 Oh, it's you, Mr. Benny. Yes, yes. We've had 00:12:08.779 --> 00:12:11.240 that password a long time now, haven't we? Yes, 00:12:11.240 --> 00:12:13.460 ever since that night you hung the lantern in 00:12:13.460 --> 00:12:21.019 the old North Church. Oh, yes. By the way, Mr. 00:12:21.179 --> 00:12:23.740 Benny, did that fellow on horseback ever make 00:12:23.740 --> 00:12:36.320 it? Why? I had two dollars on him. Excuse me 00:12:36.320 --> 00:12:38.799 a minute, Ed. I'm gonna open the vault. How much 00:12:38.799 --> 00:12:41.299 money are you putting in? Oh, nothing. I'm taking 00:12:41.299 --> 00:12:49.399 some out. Oh, sickness in the family? No, no, 00:12:49.399 --> 00:12:52.059 everything's all right. Well, I'm gonna open 00:12:52.059 --> 00:12:54.259 the vault now. Shall I take a sleeping pill? 00:12:54.539 --> 00:12:58.039 No, no. No, no, Ed. You can watch. It's all right. 00:12:58.419 --> 00:13:02.940 See, the combination is right to 45, left to 00:13:02.940 --> 00:13:41.879 60. Back to 15 and left to 110. There. Why be 00:13:41.879 --> 00:14:07.559 half safe? Now let's see One one violin lesson 00:14:07.559 --> 00:14:12.419 a dollar and fifty cents There it is. Well, see 00:14:12.419 --> 00:14:15.539 you later, Ed. All right. Oh, by the way, Mr. 00:14:15.759 --> 00:14:18.240 Benny, I meant to ask you, how are things on 00:14:18.240 --> 00:14:21.600 the outside? Oh, it's December. Winter is nearly 00:14:21.600 --> 00:14:24.919 here. And the leaves are falling. Say, that must 00:14:24.919 --> 00:14:28.059 be exciting. No, no, no, Ed. People are wearing 00:14:28.059 --> 00:14:38.360 clothes now. Oh. Well, goodbye, Mr. Benny. Goodbye, 00:14:38.360 --> 00:14:46.159 Ed. Here you are, Professor, a dollar and a half. 00:14:46.519 --> 00:14:50.100 Here's your dollar, and here's a... Oh, darn 00:14:50.100 --> 00:14:52.220 it, it was so dark down there, I got the wrong 00:14:52.220 --> 00:14:55.960 coin. Professor, have you got change for a Spanish 00:14:55.960 --> 00:15:03.519 doubloon? No. No, no, please, Mr. Benny, go back 00:15:03.519 --> 00:15:06.139 to the vault and get me the other 50 cents. Okay, 00:15:06.139 --> 00:15:09.440 okay, I'll do it right now. Mr. Benny? Excuse 00:15:09.440 --> 00:15:11.419 me a minute, I want to answer the phone. Sacre 00:15:11.419 --> 00:15:16.980 bleu. Hello? Ms. Livingston calling Jack Benny. 00:15:17.320 --> 00:15:19.940 Oh, good. This is Jack Benny. Hello, Mary? Just 00:15:19.940 --> 00:15:21.799 a minute. I'll have to ring her back. All right, 00:15:21.820 --> 00:15:24.179 I'll wait. Gee, I'm sure glad that Mary's calling. 00:15:24.679 --> 00:15:27.179 Oh, Don, there's someone at the door. Come in! 00:15:28.220 --> 00:15:29.620 Oh, hello, Don. I'll be with you in a minute. 00:15:29.840 --> 00:15:31.539 Jack, I've got the quartet here. We're in an 00:15:31.539 --> 00:15:33.600 awful hurry. Well, Don, you'll have to wait until 00:15:33.600 --> 00:15:34.679 I get a phone call. Will you hold the line, Mr. 00:15:34.840 --> 00:15:37.080 Benny? Yes, yes, I'm waiting. Should I need my 00:15:37.080 --> 00:15:39.279 50 cents? Just a minute, Professor. Jack, as 00:15:39.279 --> 00:15:40.700 long as you're holding the line, I want you to 00:15:40.700 --> 00:15:42.059 hear the number the sportsmen have prepared. 00:15:42.179 --> 00:15:44.360 Don. It'll fit beautifully if you ever do a Western 00:15:44.360 --> 00:15:45.679 play. Well, wait till I'm through on the phone. 00:15:45.860 --> 00:15:47.539 Mary is calling me. It'll only take a minute. 00:15:47.639 --> 00:15:49.759 I'm ringing, Miss Livingston. Good, good. I knew 00:15:49.759 --> 00:15:51.519 you'd want to hear it. Don, I wasn't talking 00:15:51.519 --> 00:15:53.580 to you. Anyway, if you want me to hear the quartet, 00:15:53.639 --> 00:15:55.720 make it fast. Mary will be on the phone any minute 00:15:55.720 --> 00:16:01.279 now. Okay, hit it, boys! He always sings raggy 00:16:01.279 --> 00:16:04.179 music to the cattle as he swings Back and forward 00:16:04.179 --> 00:16:06.059 in the saddle on a horse, a pretty good horse 00:16:06.059 --> 00:16:08.379 That is synchromaticated and is such a funny 00:16:08.379 --> 00:16:10.960 meter To the roar of his repeatin', see him smile 00:16:10.960 --> 00:16:13.200 He's been smokin' Lucky Strike for quite a while, 00:16:13.279 --> 00:16:16.220 that's the one he likes He will never roll his 00:16:16.220 --> 00:16:17.899 own again, for what is the use when he can send 00:16:17.899 --> 00:16:21.039 For good ol' Lucky's, good ol' Lucky's, good 00:16:21.039 --> 00:16:25.080 ol' Lucky's Strike Mary, I can't hear you. What? 00:16:26.179 --> 00:16:28.320 Boys, I'm trying to talk. Shut up, will you? 00:16:28.600 --> 00:16:31.259 Mr. Vinnie, it's my 50 cents, please. I'll give 00:16:31.259 --> 00:16:36.000 it to you later. Hello? Hello, Mary? Boy! Mary? 00:16:36.320 --> 00:16:42.159 Boy! Hello? Boys, Mr. Vinnie is talking. Wait 00:16:42.159 --> 00:16:45.600 a minute. Hello? Wait a minute. Mary! Wait a 00:16:45.600 --> 00:17:08.740 minute! Mary, I can't hear you! Darn it, she 00:17:08.740 --> 00:17:12.359 must've hung up. Well, I'll call her later. Now 00:17:12.359 --> 00:17:14.059 look, Don, did you have to go out? Mr. Benny. 00:17:14.299 --> 00:17:17.359 What? They went out. Oh, gee, and I wanted to 00:17:17.359 --> 00:17:20.240 tell them something. My 50 cents, please. In 00:17:20.240 --> 00:17:25.279 a minute, Professor. Oh, Don! Don! Well, I guess 00:17:25.279 --> 00:17:28.119 they've gone. Gee, they got away so fast. Say, 00:17:28.259 --> 00:17:30.240 Mr. Benny, we're still waiting for you to play 00:17:30.240 --> 00:17:33.299 football with us. Yeah, come on. Well, I can't 00:17:33.299 --> 00:17:35.220 yet. Okay, I'll tell you. I'll do what I have 00:17:35.220 --> 00:17:37.259 to do later. Come on, Stevie. Well, we better 00:17:37.259 --> 00:17:39.480 choose up sides first. Well, how can we? There 00:17:39.480 --> 00:17:41.339 are five of us. Yeah, and that won't come out 00:17:41.339 --> 00:17:45.119 even. Now, let's see. Two and a five. Yeah, it 00:17:45.119 --> 00:17:48.119 won't come out even. Well, look at me. Since 00:17:48.119 --> 00:17:50.380 I'm the biggest, I'll take Joey on my side, and 00:17:50.380 --> 00:17:52.420 we'll play the three of you. Now, come on. Let's 00:17:52.420 --> 00:17:56.240 do it. Hey, Jackson. Hey, Jackson. Huh? Oh, Phil. 00:17:56.339 --> 00:17:58.279 Come on out here a minute. Okay. Here, fellas. 00:17:58.319 --> 00:18:02.470 Here's the ball. I'll be right back. Say, Phil, 00:18:02.490 --> 00:18:04.690 that's the most gorgeous new car I've ever seen 00:18:04.690 --> 00:18:06.430 in my life. Yeah, I just picked it up and I wanted 00:18:06.430 --> 00:18:08.549 to show it to you. I'm giving it to Alice for 00:18:08.549 --> 00:18:10.990 a birthday present. Oh, when is Alice's birthday? 00:18:11.349 --> 00:18:14.910 January the 3rd. January? You're a month early. 00:18:15.009 --> 00:18:20.670 No, I'm a year late. Well, with a present like 00:18:20.670 --> 00:18:22.250 that, I'm sure Alice will forgive you. It certainly 00:18:22.250 --> 00:18:24.390 is the nicest looking car I've ever seen. Yeah, 00:18:24.450 --> 00:18:26.289 come here, Jackson. Come over here just a second, 00:18:26.650 --> 00:18:31.450 look. Hey, read this. Let's see. To Alice Faye 00:18:31.450 --> 00:18:35.069 from her handsome, ever loving, curly headed, 00:18:35.349 --> 00:18:45.269 joy boy, Phil Harris. Ain't that beautiful? Yes, 00:18:45.269 --> 00:18:46.809 but you should have written it on a birthday 00:18:46.809 --> 00:18:51.490 card, not painted it on the door. That's terrible. 00:18:51.569 --> 00:18:53.210 What's wrong with writing it on the door? Well, 00:18:53.230 --> 00:18:55.410 Phil, everybody sees it there. So what? I ain't 00:18:55.410 --> 00:19:02.130 ashamed of Alice. Phil, is this a 47 model or 00:19:02.130 --> 00:19:03.990 a 48? I don't know, but it's the latest style. 00:19:03.990 --> 00:19:06.009 Look at them fender skirts. They're two inches 00:19:06.009 --> 00:19:10.490 longer. Yeah, General Motors sure gave it that 00:19:10.490 --> 00:19:12.750 new look. Boy, I can't wait to see the expression 00:19:12.750 --> 00:19:14.650 on Alice's face when I give her this car for 00:19:14.650 --> 00:19:16.569 a present. Oh, is it a surprise? Well, I wanted 00:19:16.569 --> 00:19:18.450 it to be, but they already sent her the bill. 00:19:21.069 --> 00:19:22.849 Well, so long, Jackson. I gotta beat it home. 00:19:22.950 --> 00:19:25.730 So long, Phil. I hope Alice likes the car. Hey, 00:19:25.809 --> 00:19:27.769 Mr. Benny, we're still waiting for you. Oh, boys, 00:19:27.890 --> 00:19:29.569 come out over here. I want you to meet somebody. 00:19:29.980 --> 00:19:32.160 Hey, boys, this is Phil Harris. Hello, Mr. Harris. 00:19:32.160 --> 00:19:34.660 Hello, Mr. Harris. Hiya, fellas. Say, Mr. Harris, 00:19:34.759 --> 00:19:36.819 you're married to Alice Fay, aren't you? Yes, 00:19:36.920 --> 00:19:40.559 sir. She sure is beautiful. Yes, sir. Say, Mr. 00:19:40.799 --> 00:19:43.039 Harris. Yeah? If you ever get tired of her, let 00:19:43.039 --> 00:19:48.660 me know. Oh, Joey. Joey, how can you say a thing 00:19:48.660 --> 00:19:51.039 like that? Yeah, Joey, me and Alice are a happy 00:19:51.039 --> 00:19:53.460 married couple. We got two beautiful little daughters. 00:19:53.839 --> 00:19:56.039 Well, if you ever get tired of them, let us know. 00:19:59.690 --> 00:20:02.670 Oh, hello, Terry. Well, who's this boy? Oh, he's 00:20:02.670 --> 00:20:04.829 a new kid that moved into the neighborhood. Terry, 00:20:04.930 --> 00:20:07.589 this is Mr. Jack Benny and Mr. Phil Harris. Hi. 00:20:07.710 --> 00:20:10.529 Hello, Terry. You know, Terry, Mr. Benny was 00:20:10.529 --> 00:20:12.630 all -American fullback when he played football 00:20:12.630 --> 00:20:19.450 for Yale. Yale? And Terry, during the war, he 00:20:19.450 --> 00:20:22.430 once shot down 46 Jab -Zero planes in one day. 00:20:24.849 --> 00:20:27.720 Gee whiz. Hey, Jackson, did you cry? And Mr. 00:20:27.859 --> 00:20:30.539 Benny was the first man to swim the English Channel. 00:20:35.299 --> 00:20:42.000 Oh, I was lucky. The tide was with me. Say, Mr. 00:20:42.140 --> 00:20:44.420 Benny, tell Terry about the time you beat Notre 00:20:44.420 --> 00:20:48.619 Dame in the Rose Bowl. Oh, it was nothing really. 00:20:48.779 --> 00:20:50.400 You see, there were 10 seconds left to play in 00:20:50.400 --> 00:20:52.500 the game. We were behind seven to six. I got 00:20:52.500 --> 00:20:54.140 the ball behind our own goal line and started 00:20:54.140 --> 00:20:56.579 down the sideline. I twisted, squirmed, stiffened 00:20:56.579 --> 00:20:59.119 my arm way down the field. Then I saw standing 00:20:59.119 --> 00:21:01.599 between me and the goal, Notre Dame's famous 00:21:01.599 --> 00:21:04.579 five horsemen. Realizing - Mr. Benny, don't you 00:21:04.579 --> 00:21:06.980 mean the four horsemen? Five, they were making 00:21:06.980 --> 00:21:13.119 it tough for me. Realizing that they might be 00:21:13.119 --> 00:21:14.519 hard to get through, I stopped and drop kicked 00:21:14.519 --> 00:21:16.180 a field goal from the 50 yard line, which won 00:21:16.180 --> 00:21:19.180 the game for us nine to seven. The shoe I wore 00:21:19.180 --> 00:21:21.480 that day is now in the Smithsonian Institute. 00:21:22.339 --> 00:21:27.650 What an honor! Gosh! Gee whiz. Wow. Well, fellas, 00:21:27.730 --> 00:21:29.329 you go back and warm up a little and I'll join 00:21:29.329 --> 00:21:34.809 you soon, huh? Okay, let's go, gang. Hey, Jackson. 00:21:41.970 --> 00:21:52.759 What? Come here. Huh? You dog! I was just, look 00:21:52.759 --> 00:21:54.640 up in the air. Is it a bird? Is it a bullet? 00:21:54.759 --> 00:21:59.480 Is it a plane? No, it's Super Benny! There's 00:21:59.480 --> 00:22:01.440 no harm in mine. Oh, never mind. See you later. 00:22:01.539 --> 00:22:09.059 So long, Phil. So long, Lou Jack. Lou Jack, who's 00:22:09.059 --> 00:22:16.220 he? Must be the drummer in Phil's band. All right, 00:22:16.339 --> 00:22:18.720 boys. Up on your feet. Show a little pep. Now 00:22:18.720 --> 00:22:21.259 let's get the game started. Yeah, let's - Now, 00:22:21.259 --> 00:22:23.019 let's see. Joey's on my side. We'll play the 00:22:23.019 --> 00:22:25.299 three of you. Stevie, you kick off and we'll 00:22:25.299 --> 00:22:30.279 receive. Okay! Here goes! I got it, Mr. Benny! 00:22:30.500 --> 00:22:32.539 I got it! Attaboy, I'll run interference for 00:22:32.539 --> 00:22:35.859 you. Keep behind me, Joey. Keep behind me. Keep 00:22:35.859 --> 00:22:41.700 behind me. I'm 10 feet ahead of you! Oh, well 00:22:41.700 --> 00:22:46.380 then... Whoops, tough luck. They got you, Joey. 00:22:46.680 --> 00:22:48.819 Okay, it's our ball. First down 10 yards to go. 00:22:49.160 --> 00:22:50.750 Now, let's go in a huddle, Joey. Yes, sir. Now 00:22:50.750 --> 00:22:52.410 look, you be center, pass me the ball, and I'll 00:22:52.410 --> 00:22:55.470 take it around left end. Okay, let's go! Signals. 00:22:56.269 --> 00:23:09.509 38. 38. 38. Hey! Here I come, kids! Around left 00:23:09.509 --> 00:23:44.940 end. Better not get my... He must have hit his 00:23:44.940 --> 00:23:47.720 head. What'll we do? What'll we do? Just let 00:23:47.720 --> 00:23:49.460 him lay there a second. He'll come around all 00:23:49.460 --> 00:23:56.319 right. No, no, waiter. Give me the check. This 00:23:56.319 --> 00:23:58.799 party's on me. Let's kill him in the house, boys. 00:23:58.960 --> 00:24:14.859 It's worse than I thought. Stay him right down 00:24:14.859 --> 00:24:17.500 here on the bed, boys. Okay. Well, fellas, I 00:24:17.500 --> 00:24:19.920 think we better get going. Gee, I sure hope Mr. 00:24:20.039 --> 00:24:22.900 Benny will be all right. Yeah, he's a swell guy. 00:24:23.059 --> 00:24:24.920 Don't worry, boys. I'll go down the hall with 00:24:24.920 --> 00:24:31.880 you. I want to get him a cold towel. Oh. Oh, 00:24:31.880 --> 00:24:37.539 what happened? Where am I? Huh? Oh, I'm in my 00:24:37.539 --> 00:24:42.720 bed. Wait a minute. Who's this in bed with me? 00:24:42.829 --> 00:24:47.470 Mr. Binney, please pay me my 50 cents. Oh, it's 00:24:47.470 --> 00:25:07.150 your professor. Good night. Good night. Ladies 00:25:07.150 --> 00:25:10.029 and gentlemen, here is a final message from our 00:25:10.029 --> 00:25:13.700 government. As cold weather nears, the food situation 00:25:13.700 --> 00:25:17.019 in Western Europe grows steadily worse. Widespread 00:25:17.019 --> 00:25:19.819 crop failures in that area of Europe bring its 00:25:19.819 --> 00:25:22.720 people closer and closer to actual starvation. 00:25:23.640 --> 00:25:26.440 In order to protect our own freedom, prosperity, 00:25:26.579 --> 00:25:29.759 and peace, all Americans are urged to back the 00:25:29.759 --> 00:25:33.240 president's food conservation program. Remember, 00:25:33.599 --> 00:25:38.319 save wheat, save meat, save the peace. Thank 00:25:38.319 --> 00:25:50.569 you. We'll be back in just a moment. But first... 00:25:50.569 --> 00:25:59.289 Hello, Mr. Billy's residence. Star of stage, 00:25:59.490 --> 00:26:03.470 screen, radio and the Rose Bowl. Oh, hello, Miss 00:26:03.470 --> 00:26:07.269 Livingston. Oh, he's in bed. No, it's not serious. 00:26:07.630 --> 00:26:09.329 He just sprained his ankle playing football. 00:26:10.430 --> 00:26:12.839 Huh? Yeah, I guess the phone will reach over 00:26:12.839 --> 00:26:17.680 his bed. Boss, it's Miss Livingston. Oh, hello, 00:26:17.779 --> 00:26:20.920 Mary. How are you? Well, I'm all right. It's 00:26:20.920 --> 00:26:23.380 just a little sprain. Are you gonna be on the 00:26:23.380 --> 00:26:26.440 show next week? Good. Well, I'll be all right. 00:26:26.500 --> 00:26:30.000 Thanks for calling. Goodbye. Boss, what are you 00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:32.539 whispering about? Shh, the professor's asleep. 00:26:34.380 --> 00:27:01.180 Good night, Rochester. Good night. This is NBC, 00:27:01.460 --> 00:27:03.180 the national broadcasting company.