WEBVTT 00:00:11.539 --> 00:00:14.539 Deadlines, flight delays, traffic jams, crying 00:00:14.539 --> 00:00:17.320 babies. What do all these have in common? Well, 00:00:17.379 --> 00:00:19.820 for most of us, these situations cause stress. 00:00:20.079 --> 00:00:23.219 And under stress, our emotions can go astray. 00:00:23.539 --> 00:00:26.760 Today, we'll learn how God can help you stop 00:00:26.760 --> 00:00:32.600 stress before it starts. Stay with me. Welcome 00:00:32.600 --> 00:00:35.439 to this weekend edition of Living on the Edge 00:00:35.439 --> 00:00:38.219 with Chip Ingram. The mission of this daily program 00:00:38.219 --> 00:00:41.000 is to intentionally disciple Christians through 00:00:41.000 --> 00:00:43.140 the insightful Bible teaching of Chip Ingram. 00:00:43.280 --> 00:00:45.479 Well, this past week we wrapped up our series, 00:00:45.659 --> 00:00:48.280 Overcoming Emotions That Destroy. For the past 00:00:48.280 --> 00:00:51.280 several broadcasts, Chip's talked about anger, 00:00:51.460 --> 00:00:54.079 where it comes from, how to control it, and the 00:00:54.079 --> 00:00:56.960 ways we can use it for good. Today we're revisiting 00:00:56.960 --> 00:00:58.939 Chip's talk where he made the connection between 00:00:58.939 --> 00:01:02.439 our rage and frustrations and stress. So if you're 00:01:02.439 --> 00:01:04.540 ready, here's Chip with his talk, Learning How 00:01:04.540 --> 00:01:08.879 to Stop Stress Before It Starts. Ephesians 4 00:01:08.879 --> 00:01:11.920 .26 says, It's the good summary of anger in Scripture. 00:01:12.120 --> 00:01:15.900 Be angry. That's a command. Yet, do not sin. 00:01:16.000 --> 00:01:18.219 Do not let the sun go down on your anger, lest 00:01:18.219 --> 00:01:20.040 you give the devil a foothold or an opportunity. 00:01:20.700 --> 00:01:24.140 So your anger quotient talks about the environment 00:01:24.140 --> 00:01:26.959 that you're in. Certain environments raise the 00:01:26.959 --> 00:01:30.480 possibility of anger. Certain perspectives that 00:01:30.480 --> 00:01:35.040 you have either increase or decrease your relationship 00:01:35.040 --> 00:01:37.739 with anger, and it's all tied into, no matter 00:01:37.739 --> 00:01:40.159 what your environment or perspective, obeying 00:01:40.159 --> 00:01:43.319 Ephesians 4 .26. I want you to circle the E, 00:01:43.519 --> 00:01:46.280 if you will, and I want to talk about your environment. 00:01:47.260 --> 00:01:49.900 I want to talk about the environment that can 00:01:49.900 --> 00:01:53.459 allow you to be either more angry or the environment 00:01:53.459 --> 00:01:57.430 that can cause you to be far less angry. And 00:01:57.430 --> 00:02:01.510 I wanna read just a little section. My teammate, 00:02:01.670 --> 00:02:03.650 I've never teamed up and done a book with someone 00:02:03.650 --> 00:02:05.510 before. And it's been kind of fun to get a woman's 00:02:05.510 --> 00:02:07.650 perspective and especially someone that's worked 00:02:07.650 --> 00:02:10.189 with so many people. She's a practicing psychologist 00:02:10.189 --> 00:02:13.409 and counselor. And she did this experiment, just 00:02:13.409 --> 00:02:15.969 a couple of paragraphs. She said, one day I decided 00:02:15.969 --> 00:02:18.229 to keep a mental log of all the times I felt 00:02:18.229 --> 00:02:21.370 angry. I wanted to know how often I got angry 00:02:21.370 --> 00:02:24.009 and what I got angry about and what triggered 00:02:24.009 --> 00:02:27.210 the anger. I encourage you to try this too. The 00:02:27.210 --> 00:02:30.069 results were surprising and quite humbling. I 00:02:30.069 --> 00:02:32.770 was shocked at how often angry feelings came 00:02:32.770 --> 00:02:35.569 to the surface. Prior to consciously counting 00:02:35.569 --> 00:02:38.870 these episodes, I had mistakenly assumed that 00:02:38.870 --> 00:02:41.810 anger was only an occasional visitor to my emotional 00:02:41.810 --> 00:02:45.990 arsenal. I was wrong, very wrong. I had to be 00:02:45.990 --> 00:02:48.270 honest about my feelings of anger, frustration, 00:02:48.590 --> 00:02:52.860 and actual infuriation. I had felt either flits 00:02:52.860 --> 00:02:55.580 or fits of anger at not being able to find my 00:02:55.580 --> 00:02:58.039 favorite socks, running out of milk, the kids 00:02:58.039 --> 00:03:00.419 taking too long to get ready, the slow driver 00:03:00.419 --> 00:03:02.539 in front of me, the long wait at the pharmacy, 00:03:02.780 --> 00:03:05.300 the store that was closed on Monday, having to 00:03:05.300 --> 00:03:08.020 put gas in the car, the price of the gas in the 00:03:08.020 --> 00:03:10.699 car, the long line in the slow service when I 00:03:10.699 --> 00:03:13.259 got gas in the car, the kids leaving their clothes 00:03:13.259 --> 00:03:16.340 on the floor again, the computer freezing on 00:03:16.340 --> 00:03:19.080 me again, and I was only halfway through the 00:03:19.080 --> 00:03:21.580 day. Though some of these feelings could describe 00:03:21.580 --> 00:03:26.080 fleeting frustrations, when I was honest, far 00:03:26.080 --> 00:03:30.740 too many of them were actual anger. Then came 00:03:30.740 --> 00:03:33.379 another humbling lesson. I realized that most 00:03:33.379 --> 00:03:36.479 of the day -to -day anger I experienced was all 00:03:36.479 --> 00:03:40.759 about small, insignificant stuff that I face 00:03:40.759 --> 00:03:43.580 all the time. When I stopped and looked at how 00:03:43.580 --> 00:03:45.939 often I got angry and what I got angry about, 00:03:46.599 --> 00:03:49.240 I had to admit that it happened too much and 00:03:49.240 --> 00:03:54.300 too often. Then I took a further step. I asked, 00:03:54.379 --> 00:03:57.639 what is it that contributes to the anger of my 00:03:57.639 --> 00:04:01.099 day -to -day life? And the answer was surprisingly 00:04:01.099 --> 00:04:08.139 simple. Stress. Stress. The relationship between 00:04:08.139 --> 00:04:11.080 stress and anger in my life isn't unusual. The 00:04:11.080 --> 00:04:13.860 more pressured, burned out, overwhelmed, or busy 00:04:13.860 --> 00:04:19.180 that you become, the more your anger will lie 00:04:19.180 --> 00:04:22.759 at the foot of your feet, ready to explode at 00:04:22.759 --> 00:04:26.620 any moment. The key to lessening our anger is 00:04:26.620 --> 00:04:32.120 our ability to minimize stress. Final line, the 00:04:32.120 --> 00:04:34.699 more stress we're under, the more likely it is 00:04:34.699 --> 00:04:38.259 that anger will make its appearance. Our goal 00:04:38.259 --> 00:04:42.540 is to reduce stress. And so I want to just encourage 00:04:42.540 --> 00:04:45.120 you in our time together, I'm going to be really, 00:04:45.180 --> 00:04:47.899 really practical, not an outline. I'm not going 00:04:47.899 --> 00:04:50.540 to go to all kind of different texts. I basically 00:04:50.540 --> 00:04:53.019 want to give some practical wisdom about how 00:04:53.019 --> 00:04:59.660 to reduce stress in your life. I am a type A 00:04:59.660 --> 00:05:06.029 personality. I have been a workaholic. have been 00:05:06.029 --> 00:05:09.370 characterized by being driven. And I've pastored 00:05:09.370 --> 00:05:12.310 anything from a member church of about 35 people 00:05:12.310 --> 00:05:17.490 where 34 of them are related. That produced a 00:05:17.490 --> 00:05:21.069 lot of stress to six or 7 ,000 people coming 00:05:21.069 --> 00:05:23.250 through the doors every six or seven days and 00:05:23.250 --> 00:05:25.290 a very large staff and big budgets and being 00:05:25.290 --> 00:05:28.040 totally overwhelmed. And so all I want to know 00:05:28.040 --> 00:05:30.680 is I understand what it's like, and I just want 00:05:30.680 --> 00:05:34.079 to walk through some very practical ways that 00:05:34.079 --> 00:05:37.199 people far wiser than me and many things that 00:05:37.199 --> 00:05:39.819 I've experienced that might help you. Number 00:05:39.819 --> 00:05:45.279 one stress reducer is eliminate hurry. John Ortberg 00:05:45.279 --> 00:05:47.379 went to teach at a large church in Chicago and 00:05:47.379 --> 00:05:49.800 has since gone back to California. But when he 00:05:49.800 --> 00:05:52.220 was ready to take that big step, And it was a 00:05:52.220 --> 00:05:54.480 big, big, big church. And he was going to be 00:05:54.480 --> 00:05:57.100 the teaching pastor with a team of guys. And 00:05:57.100 --> 00:05:59.160 he met with Dallas Willard and he said, you know, 00:05:59.180 --> 00:06:01.379 you're a wise man in the things of God. You've 00:06:01.379 --> 00:06:03.279 written, you know, books on the spiritual disciplines. 00:06:03.600 --> 00:06:06.879 What piece of advice could you give me as I take 00:06:06.879 --> 00:06:09.660 my family into all this responsibility and all 00:06:09.660 --> 00:06:11.920 this pressure and all that I'm going to face? 00:06:13.040 --> 00:06:15.120 And he said, you know, I got my pen out and he 00:06:15.120 --> 00:06:16.879 said, I'm just, I'm going to take lots of notes. 00:06:16.939 --> 00:06:19.000 And this is Dallas Willard and he's going to, 00:06:19.000 --> 00:06:21.730 and he just, he leaned back. And he looked at 00:06:21.730 --> 00:06:26.490 me, he said, ruthlessly eliminate hurry from 00:06:26.490 --> 00:06:30.709 your life. And I said, okay, yeah, okay, good. 00:06:33.009 --> 00:06:40.949 So, no, he said, that's it. Ruthlessly eliminate 00:06:40.949 --> 00:06:48.810 hurry from your life. Speed and godliness are 00:06:48.810 --> 00:06:56.269 incompatible. Speed and peace are incompatible. 00:06:57.389 --> 00:07:04.370 Hurry and loving others is incompatible. Hearing 00:07:04.370 --> 00:07:10.870 God's voice and hurry are incompatible. Ruthlessly 00:07:10.870 --> 00:07:17.620 eliminate hurry from your life. And I heard that 00:07:17.620 --> 00:07:19.379 at a time when our church was going through some 00:07:19.379 --> 00:07:22.120 significant growth, a capital campaign, a building 00:07:22.120 --> 00:07:25.360 campaign. Someone mistakenly took a couple of 00:07:25.360 --> 00:07:27.139 the messages and stuck them on a local radio 00:07:27.139 --> 00:07:29.759 station and then some other station, put it on 00:07:29.759 --> 00:07:31.920 some other station, and that started down the 00:07:31.920 --> 00:07:36.560 road. And to say that I was under pressure and 00:07:36.560 --> 00:07:38.860 living a hurried life would be an understatement. 00:07:40.300 --> 00:07:42.620 And I think there's times in our life where God 00:07:42.620 --> 00:07:47.379 will give us a message. that is so for us that 00:07:47.379 --> 00:07:51.000 the entire trajectory of our future can be changed 00:07:51.000 --> 00:07:54.899 if we'll just obey that one word for us in that 00:07:54.899 --> 00:07:58.040 moment. And I remember thinking to myself, and 00:07:58.040 --> 00:08:00.620 then Ortberg is a tremendous teacher. If you've 00:08:00.620 --> 00:08:02.699 never read any of his books, I just highly recommend 00:08:02.699 --> 00:08:10.060 him. And so I remember deciding I'm going to 00:08:10.060 --> 00:08:14.379 ruthlessly eliminate hurry from my life. I mean, 00:08:14.399 --> 00:08:16.819 I was the guy, you know, the plane door. It's 00:08:16.819 --> 00:08:19.579 leaving. One more person's getting on. Ingram 00:08:19.579 --> 00:08:22.259 gets on. Okay, sits down. Briefcase. Got to do 00:08:22.259 --> 00:08:24.439 some work. You know, I mean, doing this, you 00:08:24.439 --> 00:08:27.040 know, getting to a meeting one minute just before 00:08:27.040 --> 00:08:28.639 it starts because you can't be late, but got 00:08:28.639 --> 00:08:30.180 to do five things just before you get there. 00:08:31.060 --> 00:08:32.759 Multitasking all the time, you know, talking 00:08:32.759 --> 00:08:34.980 on the phone, answering email on the computer, 00:08:35.059 --> 00:08:40.950 and three other things if I could. And he gave 00:08:40.950 --> 00:08:43.990 some practical ways to do it. And so I went into 00:08:43.990 --> 00:08:47.669 training. I literally went into training. I took 00:08:47.669 --> 00:08:50.090 some of the suggestions. Number one, for two 00:08:50.090 --> 00:08:52.149 years, I drove in the right -hand lane of the 00:08:52.149 --> 00:08:59.570 freeway. I mean, it was just, I'm just going 00:08:59.570 --> 00:09:04.309 to drive in the right -hand lane. I'm not going 00:09:04.309 --> 00:09:07.049 to be in a hurry. I'm not going to count how 00:09:07.049 --> 00:09:09.929 many cars go by in the toll lane. If I get in 00:09:09.929 --> 00:09:11.470 this lane right here, I think, let's see, one, 00:09:11.549 --> 00:09:13.129 two, three, four, the yellow car got in with 00:09:13.129 --> 00:09:15.870 me, and oh, man, I should have picked that line. 00:09:17.190 --> 00:09:18.870 You know what that tells you about your mindset? 00:09:19.649 --> 00:09:23.970 You must be really, really important. You must 00:09:23.970 --> 00:09:25.929 be so important that you have to get wherever 00:09:25.929 --> 00:09:28.490 you're going that matters so much more than everybody 00:09:28.490 --> 00:09:32.049 else. What I realized, my hurry was rooted in 00:09:32.049 --> 00:09:37.629 arrogance. and what he called grandiosity. My 00:09:37.629 --> 00:09:40.529 being overextended was rooted in my grandiosity. 00:09:41.409 --> 00:09:44.450 For all the right reasons, doing really pretty 00:09:44.450 --> 00:09:46.990 significant things for God, I had come to believe 00:09:46.990 --> 00:09:49.330 unconsciously, it wasn't willfully, that I'd 00:09:49.330 --> 00:09:51.710 become indispensable. I had to be everywhere 00:09:51.710 --> 00:09:53.570 and do everything, and I had to hurry, and the 00:09:53.570 --> 00:09:55.769 more of it I could do, the more God would be 00:09:55.769 --> 00:09:59.769 pleased. You're listening to Living on the Edge, 00:09:59.950 --> 00:10:02.590 and before we continue today's program, let me 00:10:02.590 --> 00:10:05.480 ask you, Is anger devastating your relationships 00:10:05.480 --> 00:10:08.919 with your family, spouse, or coworkers? Join 00:10:08.919 --> 00:10:11.259 us after Chip's message to learn more about our 00:10:11.259 --> 00:10:13.799 valuable small group resource for this series. 00:10:14.080 --> 00:10:16.700 Stick around to discover how to confront this 00:10:16.700 --> 00:10:19.960 powerful emotion and harness it for good. But 00:10:19.960 --> 00:10:22.539 for now, here again is Chip to continue today's 00:10:22.539 --> 00:10:26.519 message. I also went into the discipline of when 00:10:26.519 --> 00:10:29.940 I went to the grocery line of going to the longest 00:10:29.940 --> 00:10:33.860 line instead of the shortest one. It's painful. 00:10:35.919 --> 00:10:40.860 But then I just, hey, how you doing? Good. So 00:10:40.860 --> 00:10:44.259 you shop here often? Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. 00:10:44.679 --> 00:10:47.460 You? No, I just come. You know, my wife sends 00:10:47.460 --> 00:10:50.000 me for stuff, and I pick up what I can remember. 00:10:50.120 --> 00:10:52.220 It's usually the wrong brand or something. So 00:10:52.220 --> 00:10:55.399 do you live around here? And you know what happened? 00:10:55.519 --> 00:10:58.980 I started relating to people again. Have you 00:10:58.980 --> 00:11:00.820 ever just opened your phone and just thought, 00:11:00.899 --> 00:11:03.149 I wonder who haven't I talked to lately? Not 00:11:03.149 --> 00:11:07.690 for no reason. Bob, Tampa. Probably get a voicemail. 00:11:07.690 --> 00:11:12.470 That's okay. Hey, Bob. Beep. This is Chip. You 00:11:12.470 --> 00:11:14.210 know what? I'm sitting in the airport in Dallas, 00:11:14.370 --> 00:11:17.110 and I just want to remind you God loves you, 00:11:17.149 --> 00:11:19.909 Bob. And you remember two years ago when we had 00:11:19.909 --> 00:11:21.950 that little meeting? You came to my mind today. 00:11:22.629 --> 00:11:26.250 I love you. You are a friend like few I've ever 00:11:26.250 --> 00:11:28.590 had. And I hope you're doing well today. God 00:11:28.590 --> 00:11:32.539 bless you. And I just started doing some spontaneous, 00:11:32.740 --> 00:11:35.740 non -urgent, non -having -to -get -it -done, 00:11:35.899 --> 00:11:41.100 eliminating hurry from my life. Now, do I have 00:11:41.100 --> 00:11:44.779 some regression now and then? You bet. But for 00:11:44.779 --> 00:11:47.980 a period of time, I just got that I -gotta -get 00:11:47.980 --> 00:11:51.600 -there attitude out of me. And it made a huge 00:11:51.600 --> 00:11:54.840 difference. See, we can talk about anger and 00:11:54.840 --> 00:11:57.460 the A, B, C, D, and it's a secondary emotion, 00:11:57.720 --> 00:12:01.759 but your AQ... Your anger quotient will be determined 00:12:01.759 --> 00:12:04.960 by your E, environment, plus your P, perspective, 00:12:05.379 --> 00:12:08.879 times your willingness to obey, Ephesians 4 .26. 00:12:09.320 --> 00:12:13.139 So eliminate hurry. Second is downsize your expectations. 00:12:14.100 --> 00:12:18.360 Most of us try to do too much too soon, and we 00:12:18.360 --> 00:12:20.559 feel overwhelmed, and it puts us under pressure. 00:12:20.639 --> 00:12:23.200 And because our expectations are so high and 00:12:23.200 --> 00:12:25.480 we're under pressure, then anger bubbles out. 00:12:26.380 --> 00:12:29.740 Most dramatic experience ever. And this is not 00:12:29.740 --> 00:12:32.399 sort of my biography, but I just want to tell 00:12:32.399 --> 00:12:33.980 you how life really works. I think sometimes 00:12:33.980 --> 00:12:36.419 people get up and they come to a place like this. 00:12:36.480 --> 00:12:39.320 And so people think you're way smarter than you 00:12:39.320 --> 00:12:42.379 are, way more holy than you are. And all of us 00:12:42.379 --> 00:12:44.919 are exactly the same, ordinary people with regular 00:12:44.919 --> 00:12:48.909 ups and downs. And in seminary, I had a conviction 00:12:48.909 --> 00:12:51.470 that my wife should be home with our kids. And 00:12:51.470 --> 00:12:53.570 that was a really important conviction because 00:12:53.570 --> 00:12:56.190 that meant I needed to support us and go to school 00:12:56.190 --> 00:12:59.450 full time, which was really hard. And so I would 00:12:59.450 --> 00:13:01.490 get up at about 4 .30 in the morning and study 00:13:01.490 --> 00:13:04.250 Greek until 7, catch a carpool, and then the 00:13:04.250 --> 00:13:06.750 carpool, I'd go to work, it's called at work, 00:13:06.789 --> 00:13:10.669 went to seminary from 7 until about 4 .30, and 00:13:10.669 --> 00:13:12.929 I would either read or be in class 100 % of the 00:13:12.929 --> 00:13:15.309 time, come home, play with the kids, eat dinner, 00:13:15.429 --> 00:13:17.750 go to work at 6 .30, get home at 11, do it again. 00:13:18.210 --> 00:13:22.139 So I was under lots of pressure. And where I 00:13:22.139 --> 00:13:24.039 went to school, they wanted three years of Greek 00:13:24.039 --> 00:13:26.379 and two years of Hebrew. And it wasn't always 00:13:26.379 --> 00:13:28.360 that it was so hard, but it was just so much 00:13:28.360 --> 00:13:31.779 to do. And I remember a guy that became a great 00:13:31.779 --> 00:13:33.879 mentor and a friend for the last 25 years was 00:13:33.879 --> 00:13:36.139 Howard Hendricks, and actually went to school 00:13:36.139 --> 00:13:38.840 to be around him. And I'll never forget one day, 00:13:38.860 --> 00:13:41.360 he had a group of us together, and we were kind 00:13:41.360 --> 00:13:45.340 of whining about our lives and demands. And he 00:13:45.340 --> 00:13:47.500 has this funny, you know the problem, don't you? 00:13:49.000 --> 00:13:51.360 No, prof, what's the problem? The problem is 00:13:51.360 --> 00:13:54.299 you guys don't get enough C's. What do you mean? 00:13:54.899 --> 00:13:57.700 You don't get enough C's. He had this funny way 00:13:57.700 --> 00:14:00.000 of, you know, always doing like this with his 00:14:00.000 --> 00:14:06.539 nose. And C's, what do you mean? Yeah, you're 00:14:06.539 --> 00:14:08.620 a bunch of smart guys here. You came from schools 00:14:08.620 --> 00:14:10.120 where you're smart guys, and you think getting 00:14:10.120 --> 00:14:12.019 A's is where it's at. I got news for you guys. 00:14:12.279 --> 00:14:15.039 God doesn't care whether you get A's. Secondly, 00:14:15.080 --> 00:14:16.799 no one's going to look at your resume whether 00:14:16.799 --> 00:14:19.220 you got A's or not. You're competitive, driven, 00:14:19.460 --> 00:14:23.259 carnal guys. Get some Cs, love your wives, have 00:14:23.259 --> 00:14:27.879 some fun, you know? And so I was involved in 00:14:27.879 --> 00:14:30.840 ministry and I was involved in working. And it 00:14:30.840 --> 00:14:33.340 was like someone just took the expectations and 00:14:33.340 --> 00:14:36.480 said, and I wasn't probably near as smart as 00:14:36.480 --> 00:14:38.799 a lot of guys, but I was always like, I always 00:14:38.799 --> 00:14:40.200 was one of those students that could figure out 00:14:40.200 --> 00:14:42.419 what was gonna be on the test. So I always got 00:14:42.419 --> 00:14:44.480 really good grades. I'm just kind of street smart, 00:14:44.600 --> 00:14:47.029 but I'm not like super academic. And I said, 00:14:47.070 --> 00:14:49.350 okay, this is a great class, a zillion hours, 00:14:49.470 --> 00:14:51.370 I've got to read all these books, I'm supposed 00:14:51.370 --> 00:14:54.690 to have all these, let's see, 2 ,000 words memorized 00:14:54.690 --> 00:14:57.230 and all this, and that's worth 10 % of my grade. 00:14:57.750 --> 00:15:00.629 And when I get out, a computer has all those 00:15:00.629 --> 00:15:06.929 words somewhere. So, okay, 10%, that gets me 00:15:06.929 --> 00:15:10.809 from 100 to a 90. I'm not going to do that. And 00:15:10.809 --> 00:15:12.250 then this other thing, you're supposed to read 00:15:12.250 --> 00:15:13.909 this, this, this, and that. But I want to learn 00:15:13.909 --> 00:15:16.309 to do the exegetical work, this, this, this. 00:15:16.389 --> 00:15:17.789 That's what will help me be the man God wants 00:15:17.789 --> 00:15:20.049 me to be. I'm not doing that. That's only 5%. 00:15:20.049 --> 00:15:23.289 And so I started to go the last couple years, 00:15:23.470 --> 00:15:25.509 and I would go to a professor and say, I just 00:15:25.509 --> 00:15:27.409 want you to know I'm not sloughing off. It's 00:15:27.409 --> 00:15:29.990 not that I don't care about you. It's not that 00:15:29.990 --> 00:15:31.169 I don't think what you're doing is important. 00:15:31.690 --> 00:15:34.549 It's that all these words are in a book. When 00:15:34.549 --> 00:15:37.649 you do the little quizzes on the vocabulary, 00:15:38.029 --> 00:15:42.419 I won't do well. I'm not even going to try. I'm 00:15:42.419 --> 00:15:46.820 starting your class with a B, okay? And I just 00:15:46.820 --> 00:15:50.500 bought myself seven hours a week, and it'll probably 00:15:50.500 --> 00:15:54.259 make me a better dad, a way better husband. And 00:15:54.259 --> 00:15:57.500 I just went through my classes. Now, you know 00:15:57.500 --> 00:15:59.980 what? As crazy as prof was, even after doing 00:15:59.980 --> 00:16:02.980 that, most all of us, we just got Bs and As anyway. 00:16:04.279 --> 00:16:08.080 But it was just that, what? Who is putting the 00:16:08.080 --> 00:16:10.639 invisible gun to your head that says your house 00:16:10.639 --> 00:16:14.820 has to be absolutely spotless all the time? Who's 00:16:14.820 --> 00:16:16.720 putting the invisible gun to your head that says 00:16:16.720 --> 00:16:19.559 you always have to return every call the same 00:16:19.559 --> 00:16:22.179 day or that this new thing, beep, beep, beep, 00:16:22.200 --> 00:16:24.980 an email comes, oh, oh my gosh, I gotta return 00:16:24.980 --> 00:16:30.460 the, I mean, who made these rules? I didn't get 00:16:30.460 --> 00:16:32.320 that, it's been seven minutes and they haven't 00:16:32.320 --> 00:16:35.769 returned my email yet. Why, if I'm doing something 00:16:35.769 --> 00:16:39.389 over here that's the will of God, how does someone 00:16:39.389 --> 00:16:41.669 electronically shoot something through a satellite 00:16:41.669 --> 00:16:45.509 that says it's now the most important thing in 00:16:45.509 --> 00:16:49.710 my life? Where do we start doing that? If I didn't 00:16:49.710 --> 00:16:52.929 know better, that would be stupid. That would 00:16:52.929 --> 00:16:55.649 just be stupid. And then we get so overwhelmed. 00:16:55.929 --> 00:16:57.690 I've done this. Have you ever done this? You 00:16:57.690 --> 00:16:59.690 know, like you get sort of those, they're not 00:16:59.690 --> 00:17:02.110 quite spam. You know, they're like from Harry 00:17:02.110 --> 00:17:04.569 and David's and different people. You order some 00:17:04.569 --> 00:17:06.809 stuff now and then. Or Delta Airlines is telling 00:17:06.809 --> 00:17:09.109 me, you know, new fares. Have you ever felt like 00:17:09.109 --> 00:17:11.589 you're so overwhelmed that you want to feel like 00:17:11.589 --> 00:17:13.390 you've accomplished something? And I sit at my 00:17:13.390 --> 00:17:16.529 computer, delete that one. Delete that. Have 00:17:16.529 --> 00:17:18.950 you ever done that? You know, like the day is 00:17:18.950 --> 00:17:21.130 going so overwhelmed. And I feel like I've done 00:17:21.130 --> 00:17:23.009 it. Harry and David, that one's gone. Delta Airlines, 00:17:23.250 --> 00:17:25.049 that's gone. Those three advertisements gone. 00:17:25.569 --> 00:17:29.549 Boy, do I feel good about myself. Is this nuts? 00:17:30.989 --> 00:17:36.390 Anyway, three, learn to say no. I was privileged 00:17:36.390 --> 00:17:39.589 to get some mentoring from Chuck Swindoll. And 00:17:39.589 --> 00:17:42.809 as the radio was growing every year, they'd have 00:17:42.809 --> 00:17:45.650 this dinner and we'd get a chance. And somehow 00:17:45.650 --> 00:17:47.349 I got to sit next to him. And every year for 00:17:47.349 --> 00:17:49.390 about seven or eight years, he literally took 00:17:49.390 --> 00:17:51.289 me for about a half hour, put his arm around 00:17:51.289 --> 00:17:53.650 me and basically gave me that, now, young man, 00:17:53.809 --> 00:17:55.990 here's what you need to remember. And it was 00:17:55.990 --> 00:17:59.529 amazing. And so I remember one year he said, 00:17:59.849 --> 00:18:01.509 one of the greatest things you'll ever have to 00:18:01.509 --> 00:18:09.009 learn, learn to say no kindly, artfully, and 00:18:09.009 --> 00:18:12.890 with excellence. And he said, it will save you 00:18:12.890 --> 00:18:15.049 so much. I mean, people need to know you would 00:18:15.049 --> 00:18:18.630 love to, but the answer is no. And I thought, 00:18:18.690 --> 00:18:21.430 wow, you know, that is, you know, I didn't really 00:18:21.430 --> 00:18:23.390 understand what he meant. And then there was 00:18:23.390 --> 00:18:25.470 a certain book that I thought would be really 00:18:25.470 --> 00:18:27.309 important. And, you know, we were friends. And 00:18:27.309 --> 00:18:30.839 so I... I called him or wrote him and asked him 00:18:30.839 --> 00:18:34.160 if he would endorse the book. And I got the nicest, 00:18:34.359 --> 00:18:38.839 most excellent, kindest letter. I mean, I felt 00:18:38.839 --> 00:18:41.579 like when I got done reading that letter, I was 00:18:41.579 --> 00:18:45.460 next to Cynthia, maybe the second or third most 00:18:45.460 --> 00:18:49.000 important person in Chuck Swindoll's life. Wow. 00:18:50.200 --> 00:18:56.099 No. I mean, it was just like, Chip, I appreciate 00:18:56.099 --> 00:18:58.460 you so much and what you've done. And if I glance 00:18:58.460 --> 00:19:01.039 this, this is going to have a great impact. I'm 00:19:01.039 --> 00:19:05.720 so excited. In our times together and, you know, 00:19:05.740 --> 00:19:07.799 our board and the priorities, they've just limited 00:19:07.799 --> 00:19:10.900 what I can do. I would love to do it, but I just 00:19:10.900 --> 00:19:15.559 can't. Learn to say no kindly. Don't take stuff 00:19:15.559 --> 00:19:18.930 on in church. Don't let guilt drive you to get 00:19:18.930 --> 00:19:22.049 your schedule because under stress, when you're 00:19:22.049 --> 00:19:24.069 doing stuff you don't feel really called to do, 00:19:24.210 --> 00:19:26.109 you get resentment and you're going to have more 00:19:26.109 --> 00:19:32.650 anger. This is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. 00:19:32.789 --> 00:19:34.869 And you've been listening to part one of Chip's 00:19:34.869 --> 00:19:37.450 message, Learning How to Stop Stress Before It 00:19:37.450 --> 00:19:40.309 Starts, from our series, Overcoming Emotions 00:19:40.309 --> 00:19:43.130 That Destroy. Chip will be back shortly to share 00:19:43.130 --> 00:19:45.349 some helpful application for us to think about. 00:19:46.029 --> 00:19:48.529 You know, anger has always been seen as a wrong, 00:19:48.529 --> 00:19:51.170 unhealthy feeling. But what if I told you that 00:19:51.170 --> 00:19:53.609 this emotion is a signal of a deeper problem 00:19:53.609 --> 00:19:56.730 we need to be aware of? And if channeled correctly, 00:19:57.130 --> 00:20:00.380 anger could actually be used for good. Well, 00:20:00.420 --> 00:20:03.220 in this 10 -part series, Chip uncovered the root 00:20:03.220 --> 00:20:05.799 of anger in our lives and explained how we can 00:20:05.799 --> 00:20:09.039 turn our most intense frustrations into a valuable 00:20:09.039 --> 00:20:12.200 asset. We pray that through this teaching, you 00:20:12.200 --> 00:20:14.619 learned more about this powerful emotion and 00:20:14.619 --> 00:20:17.420 how to have control over it. Let me encourage 00:20:17.420 --> 00:20:19.980 you to go back and revisit any part of this series 00:20:19.980 --> 00:20:23.579 by going to livingontheedge .org or wherever 00:20:23.579 --> 00:20:26.779 you listen to podcasts. Well, our Bible teacher, 00:20:26.940 --> 00:20:29.400 Chip Ingram, is back in studio with a quick word. 00:20:29.869 --> 00:20:33.369 Thanks so much, Dave. There are few things that 00:20:33.369 --> 00:20:36.509 will impact your life, your family, your marriage, 00:20:36.690 --> 00:20:39.410 all your relationships, what happens at work, 00:20:39.450 --> 00:20:43.470 than how you handle your emotions. More specifically, 00:20:43.529 --> 00:20:47.230 the emotion of anger or the guilt, the shame, 00:20:47.309 --> 00:20:49.529 the devastation, all the things that surround 00:20:49.529 --> 00:20:53.890 anger when it's not properly understood or properly 00:20:53.890 --> 00:20:57.859 responded to. And so all I can say is that I 00:20:57.859 --> 00:20:59.539 don't know where you can invest your time in 00:20:59.539 --> 00:21:01.960 the next few months, but let me encourage you 00:21:01.960 --> 00:21:05.599 that overcoming emotions that destroy you and 00:21:05.599 --> 00:21:08.059 your relationships would be a great place to 00:21:08.059 --> 00:21:10.559 really invest. Let me just help you think this 00:21:10.559 --> 00:21:12.839 through. For some of you, you've been thinking, 00:21:12.900 --> 00:21:15.339 we need to launch a Bible study or the next small 00:21:15.339 --> 00:21:17.880 group series for our small group at church or 00:21:17.880 --> 00:21:20.359 for our men or women's group or our Sunday school 00:21:20.359 --> 00:21:24.470 class. We ought to get this. Be thinking outside 00:21:24.470 --> 00:21:27.690 the box. This isn't just for you. God wants to 00:21:27.690 --> 00:21:30.910 use you as an ambassador. Imagine the people 00:21:30.910 --> 00:21:33.910 in your network, if they understood anger, begin 00:21:33.910 --> 00:21:36.430 to use it for good instead of evil. The good 00:21:36.430 --> 00:21:38.769 that would happen in your homes, your churches, 00:21:38.849 --> 00:21:41.890 and your community. Act today. Thanks, Chip. 00:21:42.049 --> 00:21:44.349 Well, to get your hands on this valuable resource, 00:21:44.569 --> 00:21:48.259 visit livingontheedge .org. Dig into this study 00:21:48.259 --> 00:21:50.599 with a group of friends and uncover how anger 00:21:50.599 --> 00:21:53.339 may be impacting you and what you can do to harness 00:21:53.339 --> 00:21:56.599 it to grow spiritually, emotionally, and relationally. 00:21:56.740 --> 00:21:59.539 Get your hands on the overcoming emotions that 00:21:59.539 --> 00:22:03.359 destroy small group today by going to livingontheedge 00:22:03.359 --> 00:22:09.440 .org or by calling 888 -333 -6003. App listeners 00:22:09.440 --> 00:22:12.740 tap special offers. With that, here again is 00:22:12.740 --> 00:22:16.160 Chip. As we close today's program, there's one 00:22:16.160 --> 00:22:19.420 very simple question that I need to ask you. 00:22:19.480 --> 00:22:22.380 In fact, you need to ask yourself, which of the 00:22:22.380 --> 00:22:24.920 three things that create stress in your life 00:22:24.920 --> 00:22:28.059 do you need to address? I talked about ruthlessly 00:22:28.059 --> 00:22:31.039 eliminate hurry, downsize your expectations, 00:22:31.519 --> 00:22:34.539 learn to say no. So which one of those, if I 00:22:34.539 --> 00:22:36.740 just, we're sitting together and over a cup of 00:22:36.740 --> 00:22:38.900 coffee, and I said, okay, which one of those 00:22:38.900 --> 00:22:41.819 for you would it be? What would you say? I will 00:22:41.819 --> 00:22:44.319 tell you, first and foremost, you will see your 00:22:44.319 --> 00:22:47.839 life change if you ruthlessly eliminate hurry 00:22:47.839 --> 00:22:50.400 from your life. Of all the things, especially 00:22:50.400 --> 00:22:52.680 if you're a type A personality, high pressure 00:22:52.680 --> 00:22:56.190 job. And the other one was that hit me was downsizing 00:22:56.190 --> 00:22:58.789 expectations. If you're perfectionistic and you 00:22:58.789 --> 00:23:01.430 want to do things really well, you keep pushing 00:23:01.430 --> 00:23:03.450 and you put all this pressure on yourself thinking, 00:23:03.609 --> 00:23:05.849 you know, it's like got to be an A plus all the 00:23:05.849 --> 00:23:08.369 time. And just a couple weeks ago, I was speaking 00:23:08.369 --> 00:23:10.509 at a place and they wanted all these notes and 00:23:10.509 --> 00:23:13.109 they wanted them, you know, a week or two in 00:23:13.109 --> 00:23:14.630 advance. And I was in the middle of teaching 00:23:14.630 --> 00:23:16.950 a series. And I remember feeling all this pressure 00:23:16.950 --> 00:23:19.990 and stress. And then just as I prayed, God said, 00:23:20.069 --> 00:23:22.750 so do you have to have notes every time you preach? 00:23:23.309 --> 00:23:25.910 And I remember thinking, well, gosh, Paul didn't 00:23:25.910 --> 00:23:29.150 have PowerPoint. He did okay, you know. And so 00:23:29.150 --> 00:23:30.750 I just told my assistant, would you just let 00:23:30.750 --> 00:23:33.269 him know that, you know, I'll have some notes 00:23:33.269 --> 00:23:35.950 because they were done, but, you know, I'm just 00:23:35.950 --> 00:23:37.970 not going to have any PowerPoint. And it was 00:23:37.970 --> 00:23:40.109 like the whole world got lighter and better. 00:23:40.450 --> 00:23:43.849 What do you need just to say it's okay to let 00:23:43.849 --> 00:23:46.130 something go? You don't have to do everything 00:23:46.130 --> 00:23:50.170 perfect every time and see if that stress doesn't 00:23:50.170 --> 00:23:53.329 come down and with it the anger. God bless you. 00:23:53.369 --> 00:23:56.289 Give it a try. Thanks, Chip. As we wrap up this 00:23:56.289 --> 00:23:59.029 program, Living on the Edge depends on listeners 00:23:59.029 --> 00:24:01.970 like you to help us continue encouraging Christians 00:24:01.970 --> 00:24:04.750 to live like Christians. So would you consider 00:24:04.750 --> 00:24:07.230 becoming a monthly partner to help others benefit 00:24:07.230 --> 00:24:09.750 from this ministry? You can set up a recurring 00:24:09.750 --> 00:24:13.450 donation at livingontheedge .org or by calling 00:24:13.450 --> 00:24:22.930 us at 888 - That's 888 -333 -6003 or visit livingontheedge 00:24:22.930 --> 00:24:27.230 .org. App listeners tap donate. And thanks for 00:24:27.230 --> 00:24:30.309 doing whatever the Lord leads you to do. You've 00:24:30.309 --> 00:24:32.390 been listening to a selected program that we 00:24:32.390 --> 00:24:35.069 wanted to share from this past week. To hear 00:24:35.069 --> 00:24:37.309 more from Chip's series, Overcoming Emotions 00:24:37.309 --> 00:24:41.569 That Destroy, go to livingontheedge .org or wherever 00:24:41.569 --> 00:24:44.589 you listen to podcasts. Until next time, I'm 00:24:44.589 --> 00:24:46.789 Dave Drewy saying thanks for listening to this 00:24:46.789 --> 00:24:49.269 weekend edition of Living on the Edge.