WEBVTT 00:00:11.470 --> 00:00:14.609 What can turn a normal, rational, ordinarily 00:00:14.609 --> 00:00:17.629 nice person into an out -of -control monster 00:00:17.629 --> 00:00:20.350 destroying relationships, screaming at children, 00:00:20.609 --> 00:00:24.050 spewing threats, and alienating lifelong friends? 00:00:24.370 --> 00:00:27.170 Today, we'll discover the source of that devastating 00:00:27.170 --> 00:00:32.590 power and how to control it. Stay with me. Welcome 00:00:32.590 --> 00:00:35.509 to this weekend edition of Living on the Edge 00:00:35.509 --> 00:00:38.479 with Chip Ingram. The mission of this daily program 00:00:38.479 --> 00:00:41.219 is to intentionally disciple Christians through 00:00:41.219 --> 00:00:43.299 the insightful Bible teaching of Chip Ingram. 00:00:43.560 --> 00:00:46.060 Well, this past week, we kicked off Chip's series, 00:00:46.240 --> 00:00:49.100 Overcoming Emotions That Destroy. In the next 00:00:49.100 --> 00:00:51.780 few days, Chip will continue exploring the powerful 00:00:51.780 --> 00:00:55.140 emotion of anger. identifying the factors that 00:00:55.140 --> 00:00:57.479 trigger it, and how we should respond when those 00:00:57.479 --> 00:01:00.219 feelings bubble to the surface. Well, today we're 00:01:00.219 --> 00:01:02.880 revisiting the first program in our series, so 00:01:02.880 --> 00:01:05.459 grab your Bible and go to James chapter 1 for 00:01:05.459 --> 00:01:08.540 Chip's talk, Rage, Understanding the Monster 00:01:08.540 --> 00:01:13.859 Within. What has the power to transform the tender 00:01:13.859 --> 00:01:17.500 heart of a loving mother into a beast of fury 00:01:17.500 --> 00:01:21.739 as I watched her sling her 18 -month -old baby? 00:01:22.319 --> 00:01:26.000 into the front of a dryer and slam the little 00:01:26.000 --> 00:01:30.239 one down in a chair? What has the power to turn 00:01:30.239 --> 00:01:34.260 loving parents into neck -bulging, vein -popping, 00:01:34.280 --> 00:01:38.480 screaming adults who say the same thing over 00:01:38.480 --> 00:01:42.120 and over into the blank stares of their elementary 00:01:42.120 --> 00:01:46.000 and teenage kids? What has the power to turn 00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:48.719 good friends and passionate lovers into cold, 00:01:48.920 --> 00:01:52.590 calculated, critical marriage co -existors? who 00:01:52.590 --> 00:01:56.250 only do what's absolutely necessary to live under 00:01:56.250 --> 00:02:00.010 the same roof? What has the power to turn a festive 00:02:00.010 --> 00:02:03.329 holiday family gathering into a gut -twisting, 00:02:03.329 --> 00:02:06.129 name -calling, take -sides, no -holes -barred 00:02:06.129 --> 00:02:10.789 family feud that never gets resolved? And finally, 00:02:10.810 --> 00:02:14.110 what has the power to take a cool, calm, collected, 00:02:14.330 --> 00:02:18.629 long -time, conscientious worker into a gun -carrying, 00:02:18.629 --> 00:02:23.270 floor... by floor, by floor, bullet sprang, murderer, 00:02:23.409 --> 00:02:29.169 that no one ever dreamed was even upset as he 00:02:29.169 --> 00:02:32.949 expressed the bottled up anger of losing his 00:02:32.949 --> 00:02:37.930 job. What has that kind of power that turned 00:02:37.930 --> 00:02:42.810 normal human beings who on most days are good 00:02:42.810 --> 00:02:46.229 people to be around into people that shut down, 00:02:46.449 --> 00:02:50.770 into people that leak anger, Into people that 00:02:50.770 --> 00:02:54.150 explode it? And I would suggest that the first 00:02:54.150 --> 00:02:56.430 word you want to write down in your notes, the 00:02:56.430 --> 00:03:02.669 answer is our emotions. Our emotions. Designed 00:03:02.669 --> 00:03:04.889 as a gift from God, there are times, places, 00:03:05.069 --> 00:03:08.229 and circumstances that bring out emotions that 00:03:08.229 --> 00:03:11.569 destroy. In fact, it was during a very difficult 00:03:11.569 --> 00:03:14.830 time, first book of the New Testament, Jesus' 00:03:14.969 --> 00:03:17.469 half -brother would address people who were going 00:03:17.469 --> 00:03:20.949 through tremendous pressure. difficulty. They 00:03:20.949 --> 00:03:23.849 were dispersed abroad. They believed in the Messiah. 00:03:24.110 --> 00:03:26.310 As a result, many of them lost their homes. They 00:03:26.310 --> 00:03:28.069 were cut out of the family business. They were 00:03:28.069 --> 00:03:31.169 persecuted. And so James would say, after considering 00:03:31.169 --> 00:03:34.590 it all joy, in chapter one, verse 19, my dear 00:03:34.590 --> 00:03:38.490 brothers, take note of this. Everyone should 00:03:38.490 --> 00:03:42.759 be quick to listen, slow to speak. and slow to 00:03:42.759 --> 00:03:44.800 become angry. And then he gives us the purpose 00:03:44.800 --> 00:03:48.659 clause. Why? For the anger of man does not bring 00:03:48.659 --> 00:03:53.360 about the righteous life that God desires. That 00:03:53.360 --> 00:03:56.819 single verse launched a series in my life called 00:03:56.819 --> 00:04:01.349 Overcoming Emotions That Destroy. The anger of 00:04:01.349 --> 00:04:04.590 man, when I'm frustrated, when I'm wounded, when 00:04:04.590 --> 00:04:06.909 there's an unmet need, when someone ticks me 00:04:06.909 --> 00:04:08.909 off, when someone cuts in front of me in traffic, 00:04:09.030 --> 00:04:11.129 when I don't have enough money, when God doesn't 00:04:11.129 --> 00:04:13.389 come through, when my expectations aren't fulfilled, 00:04:13.590 --> 00:04:16.949 emotions begin to bottle up and we get angry. 00:04:18.610 --> 00:04:21.689 And we express it in very, very different ways 00:04:21.689 --> 00:04:24.370 that we'll look at. And the great majority of 00:04:24.370 --> 00:04:27.930 people don't even know they're angry. And we're 00:04:27.930 --> 00:04:30.860 going to talk about... anger and how to deal 00:04:30.860 --> 00:04:32.759 with it. We're going to talk about the shame 00:04:32.759 --> 00:04:35.839 and the guilt and the other emotions that those 00:04:35.839 --> 00:04:38.860 angry feelings that every human being has that 00:04:38.860 --> 00:04:42.480 are normal, but they ruin relationships if you 00:04:42.480 --> 00:04:46.199 don't identify what they are, how to deal with 00:04:46.199 --> 00:04:49.560 them, and then how to turn that in a way where 00:04:49.560 --> 00:04:53.019 God can work in your heart instead of us spewing 00:04:53.019 --> 00:04:55.920 or stuffing or leaking out our anger in ways 00:04:55.920 --> 00:04:58.300 that destroy our relationship with God and others. 00:04:59.649 --> 00:05:02.870 Under pressure, we are all prone to blow a fuse 00:05:02.870 --> 00:05:07.870 or burn the house down. This was written to people 00:05:07.870 --> 00:05:11.350 under pressure. Some people are prone under pressure, 00:05:11.430 --> 00:05:14.529 financial pressure, relational pressure, screaming 00:05:14.529 --> 00:05:17.389 kids, you know, you've just done the floor and 00:05:17.389 --> 00:05:19.790 now the dog goes over the floor. You just did 00:05:19.790 --> 00:05:21.689 the laundry and now there's seven more piles. 00:05:21.910 --> 00:05:24.209 You just gave your best shot at work and you 00:05:24.209 --> 00:05:25.870 get laid off when someone who hasn't been there 00:05:25.870 --> 00:05:29.480 very long gets to stay. You just give a big gift 00:05:29.480 --> 00:05:33.459 by faith, and then you find out that 40 % of 00:05:33.459 --> 00:05:35.740 your net income goes down the drain in about 00:05:35.740 --> 00:05:41.720 three or four months, and you get angry. And 00:05:41.720 --> 00:05:44.879 some people blow up, and some people, it's just 00:05:44.879 --> 00:05:46.620 like have a short in the wiring. And you know 00:05:46.620 --> 00:05:48.620 what? When there's a short in the wiring, you 00:05:48.620 --> 00:05:51.019 can't even tell anything's wrong. It's just, 00:05:51.019 --> 00:05:52.279 you know, you go out to dinner one night, and 00:05:52.279 --> 00:05:56.410 you come back, and your house is in ashes. And 00:05:56.410 --> 00:05:59.889 that's what anger does. Have you ever been angry 00:05:59.889 --> 00:06:02.370 when you were unfairly treated or someone blamed 00:06:02.370 --> 00:06:05.490 you or you were ignored or misunderstood or felt 00:06:05.490 --> 00:06:08.269 insignificant or someone made fun of you or you 00:06:08.269 --> 00:06:09.930 were given advice? You ever done something, someone 00:06:09.930 --> 00:06:11.610 walks up and just tells you, this is how you 00:06:11.610 --> 00:06:13.389 ought to do that, and you have this emotion inside 00:06:13.389 --> 00:06:18.569 going, you know? You didn't feel safe? You were 00:06:18.569 --> 00:06:24.720 given ultimatums? Does not all those things happen 00:06:24.720 --> 00:06:28.160 to every single person in this room? My point 00:06:28.160 --> 00:06:34.620 is, anger is not a good emotion or a bad emotion. 00:06:35.540 --> 00:06:38.240 Let's get God's perspective. What exactly is 00:06:38.240 --> 00:06:41.860 anger? Define it. Anger is neither good nor bad. 00:06:41.959 --> 00:06:46.040 It is a charged, morally neutral, emotional response 00:06:46.040 --> 00:06:50.319 of protective preservation. When you're angry, 00:06:51.000 --> 00:06:56.639 It's a not good or bad, it is a God -given, emotionally 00:06:56.639 --> 00:07:01.120 charged response designed to protect someone 00:07:01.120 --> 00:07:04.800 or something. Let me give you a couple examples 00:07:04.800 --> 00:07:08.540 of how anger can be very, very positive. It can 00:07:08.540 --> 00:07:11.199 be a healthy emotional response that motivates 00:07:11.199 --> 00:07:15.040 us to correct attitudes, behaviors, or injustices 00:07:15.040 --> 00:07:18.740 that we perceive to be wrong. Listen to the apostle 00:07:18.740 --> 00:07:22.620 Paul. He says, in your anger, do not sin. Do 00:07:22.620 --> 00:07:25.000 not let the sun go down on your anger and do 00:07:25.000 --> 00:07:28.860 not give the devil a foothold. It's a good translation. 00:07:29.759 --> 00:07:32.600 If you look at that in the original text, it's 00:07:32.600 --> 00:07:34.879 very interesting. First of all, it's an imperative. 00:07:35.079 --> 00:07:37.540 It's a command. And the word order goes something 00:07:37.540 --> 00:07:41.600 like this. Be angry. Command. In other words, 00:07:41.660 --> 00:07:46.339 you get angry. Don't sin. Don't let the sun go 00:07:46.339 --> 00:07:48.610 down on your anger. Many of us have been taught 00:07:48.610 --> 00:07:50.850 that anytime you're angry, you've done something 00:07:50.850 --> 00:07:54.610 wrong. The Bible commands you to be angry. I'll 00:07:54.610 --> 00:07:56.610 make the case that many of us are not nearly 00:07:56.610 --> 00:08:00.129 angry enough at all at the things that we ought 00:08:00.129 --> 00:08:02.949 to be angry about. When we get angry, amazing 00:08:02.949 --> 00:08:06.329 positive things happen. Many, many years ago, 00:08:06.410 --> 00:08:09.110 Therese and I were starting out. We had small 00:08:09.110 --> 00:08:10.970 kids. We had laundry, but we couldn't afford 00:08:10.970 --> 00:08:14.129 a washer and a dryer. And so I was at the laundromat. 00:08:14.430 --> 00:08:16.310 You know, you shove quarters in those things. 00:08:16.410 --> 00:08:19.089 It never gets dry. I think it's a satanic cult 00:08:19.089 --> 00:08:22.670 that makes these dryers someplace. And so, you 00:08:22.670 --> 00:08:23.930 know, I'm sitting there, and I said, you, honey, 00:08:24.009 --> 00:08:25.569 you go home. I'll do it. And so I'm sitting, 00:08:25.670 --> 00:08:27.569 you know, and you know how laundromats are sometimes, 00:08:27.870 --> 00:08:31.509 like very unattractive, dirty, linoleum floor. 00:08:32.190 --> 00:08:34.750 And so I'm there trying to get these things dried, 00:08:34.850 --> 00:08:36.549 and a lady comes in, and she's got about an 18 00:08:36.549 --> 00:08:39.210 -month -old, and she looks pretty unkept, a little 00:08:39.210 --> 00:08:42.399 bit rough, and like in a bad mood. A series of 00:08:42.399 --> 00:08:44.159 events occurred and a little kid just went around 00:08:44.159 --> 00:08:46.419 to look at something. And she went ballistic, 00:08:46.580 --> 00:08:49.340 went over, grabbed that kid's hand and literally 00:08:49.340 --> 00:08:52.320 slammed it into the dryer. And then took him 00:08:52.320 --> 00:08:54.740 and then started screaming. And I got up. I was 00:08:54.740 --> 00:08:57.539 a pastor of this small church in Texas at the 00:08:57.539 --> 00:09:01.139 time. And I came this close to hitting a lady 00:09:01.139 --> 00:09:04.759 in the mouth and not feeling guilty at all. I 00:09:04.759 --> 00:09:06.379 mean, I got up, I got in her face. I said, man, 00:09:06.399 --> 00:09:08.379 let me tell you something. You touched that child 00:09:08.379 --> 00:09:12.960 again, so help me God. And I'm a pastor. I will 00:09:12.960 --> 00:09:16.320 knock your lights out. And, you know, I'm not 00:09:16.320 --> 00:09:17.840 sure that was the right thing to do, but it seemed 00:09:17.840 --> 00:09:21.899 like the right thing at the time. And, you know, 00:09:21.899 --> 00:09:23.200 and then, you know, what are you going to do? 00:09:23.759 --> 00:09:25.500 And, you know, sometimes things happen and they 00:09:25.500 --> 00:09:28.840 bother you. I couldn't get over this one. Couldn't 00:09:28.840 --> 00:09:32.120 sleep that night. Next day, I just, I couldn't 00:09:32.120 --> 00:09:34.100 get over it. I thought, and then it was, well, 00:09:34.100 --> 00:09:35.860 I need to do something. Where's that kid and 00:09:35.860 --> 00:09:38.259 what's going on? And then I just realized and 00:09:38.259 --> 00:09:40.179 did some research. And so I went down to the... 00:09:40.399 --> 00:09:42.139 You know, I go to a government building, they 00:09:42.139 --> 00:09:43.559 send me here to send me here to send me here 00:09:43.559 --> 00:09:45.200 to send me here. So I end up in the child welfare 00:09:45.200 --> 00:09:47.960 department. And I find out in our town, it's 00:09:47.960 --> 00:09:50.019 a really big problem. And they don't have enough 00:09:50.019 --> 00:09:52.840 foster parents. And we got all kind of kids that 00:09:52.840 --> 00:09:55.340 just because of sort of where we were and how 00:09:55.340 --> 00:09:59.679 it was, really bad situation. And I said, well, 00:09:59.700 --> 00:10:01.240 what's anybody doing about it? Well, we have 00:10:01.240 --> 00:10:03.980 a committee. I mean, this is a town of 4 ,000. 00:10:04.340 --> 00:10:07.220 Things are not running real well. Can you just 00:10:07.220 --> 00:10:08.580 kind of picture what the committees are like? 00:10:09.730 --> 00:10:13.129 All right, Bob, let's bring this meeting to order. 00:10:13.250 --> 00:10:16.750 Okay, Ethel, you know, and a lot of kids, you 00:10:16.750 --> 00:10:19.990 know. I mean, it was unbelievable. So I go to 00:10:19.990 --> 00:10:22.169 a meeting, and, you know, this is so classic. 00:10:22.250 --> 00:10:24.850 So I went to my first child welfare board meeting 00:10:24.850 --> 00:10:27.929 thinking, one, what's going on here? I find out 00:10:27.929 --> 00:10:29.929 the extent of the problem, and I left the chairman. 00:10:30.710 --> 00:10:33.409 That was weird. It was kind of like, well, what 00:10:33.409 --> 00:10:34.649 about this? What about this? What about that? 00:10:34.649 --> 00:10:36.370 Well, you don't know. Are you interested? Yeah. 00:10:36.529 --> 00:10:39.779 So literally, one by one, I... I purposefully 00:10:39.779 --> 00:10:42.639 found some committed Christians and we filled 00:10:42.639 --> 00:10:47.159 that board because I got mad. I couldn't sleep 00:10:47.159 --> 00:10:49.100 at night with the images of that little kid and 00:10:49.100 --> 00:10:51.059 I wondered how many little kids are like that. 00:10:51.379 --> 00:10:53.779 And I got so angry, I couldn't sleep and the 00:10:53.779 --> 00:10:55.980 stomach acid in my gut. And I thought, I gotta 00:10:55.980 --> 00:10:57.679 do something. I gotta do something. I don't know 00:10:57.679 --> 00:11:00.080 what. And what I can tell you is because I got 00:11:00.080 --> 00:11:04.870 angry. We ended up partnering with all the churches 00:11:04.870 --> 00:11:07.090 in that little community. And we took turns every 00:11:07.090 --> 00:11:09.509 Sunday talking about what size clothes we need, 00:11:09.649 --> 00:11:12.450 what families, how many kids. And each church 00:11:12.450 --> 00:11:14.789 took a turn. And then we began to take care of 00:11:14.789 --> 00:11:16.850 these kids. And then we raised some money, put 00:11:16.850 --> 00:11:20.389 some things together, and we built a home from 00:11:20.389 --> 00:11:22.629 the child welfare board. And we put it right 00:11:22.629 --> 00:11:25.029 next to that government building. And we created 00:11:25.029 --> 00:11:28.529 a safe. place for those kids, because one guy 00:11:28.529 --> 00:11:32.230 saw a little kid slammed into a dryer and got 00:11:32.230 --> 00:11:37.690 mad. Anger's not a bad thing. You're listening 00:11:37.690 --> 00:11:40.049 to Living on the Edge, and Chip will be back 00:11:40.049 --> 00:11:42.950 in just a minute to finish today's talk. But 00:11:42.950 --> 00:11:44.850 quickly, I want to remind you that this program 00:11:44.850 --> 00:11:47.649 is only possible because of the generosity of 00:11:47.649 --> 00:11:50.269 listeners like you. So if you'd like to support 00:11:50.269 --> 00:11:54.750 us, go to livingontheedge .org. That's livingontheedge 00:11:54.750 --> 00:11:58.769 .org. Thanks for doing whatever God leads you 00:11:58.769 --> 00:12:01.610 to do. Well, let's rejoin Chip now for the remainder 00:12:01.610 --> 00:12:05.470 of his message. Jesus got angry at the money 00:12:05.470 --> 00:12:08.450 changers and he did something. Moses got angry 00:12:08.450 --> 00:12:10.730 when he saw the people sin and he did something. 00:12:11.049 --> 00:12:13.929 David got angry and he said, what in the world's 00:12:13.929 --> 00:12:17.470 going on? Who is that big uncircumcised giant 00:12:17.470 --> 00:12:20.350 talking about my God that way? And he got angry 00:12:20.350 --> 00:12:23.120 and he did something. I want to suggest to you, 00:12:23.200 --> 00:12:28.360 anger can be a very positive emotion. What makes 00:12:28.360 --> 00:12:31.940 you angry? When's the last time you got so ticked 00:12:31.940 --> 00:12:35.440 off about injustice or something wrong that you 00:12:35.440 --> 00:12:36.620 said, you know what, I'm going to do something 00:12:36.620 --> 00:12:39.759 about it? See, but if you unconsciously believe 00:12:39.759 --> 00:12:43.840 that when you're angry, oh, that must be like 00:12:43.840 --> 00:12:47.799 sin, you will undermine the very emotion God 00:12:47.799 --> 00:12:50.360 gave you for him to move you to do something 00:12:50.360 --> 00:12:53.159 significant. We were in Chicago at a pastor's 00:12:53.159 --> 00:12:55.679 conference and we were talking about overcoming 00:12:55.679 --> 00:12:57.799 emotions that destroy and talking about the book. 00:12:57.919 --> 00:12:59.919 And a guy called in, he goes, well, you know, 00:12:59.940 --> 00:13:01.779 I don't know what to do with my emotions. And 00:13:01.779 --> 00:13:04.659 basically he tells the story and he says, well, 00:13:04.740 --> 00:13:06.320 you know, my wife's having an affair and I found 00:13:06.320 --> 00:13:09.080 out about it and I'm angry. And his assumption 00:13:09.080 --> 00:13:12.740 was, that's a bad thing. And he said, I confronted 00:13:12.740 --> 00:13:15.720 her and she won't break off the relationship 00:13:15.720 --> 00:13:17.240 and I just don't know what to do. What do I do 00:13:17.240 --> 00:13:19.700 with these emotions? I'm really upset and I know 00:13:19.700 --> 00:13:22.179 they can't be pleasing God. I said, dude, you 00:13:22.179 --> 00:13:25.659 ought to be really angry. I mean, really mad. 00:13:25.759 --> 00:13:27.679 And you ought to set some clear boundaries and 00:13:27.679 --> 00:13:30.039 you ought to confront the situation. And since 00:13:30.039 --> 00:13:31.559 you both go to church and you both claim to be 00:13:31.559 --> 00:13:33.100 Christians, you need to get your church involved 00:13:33.100 --> 00:13:36.740 and your anger ought to have these kind of set 00:13:36.740 --> 00:13:39.299 of principles and rules to help her learn to 00:13:39.299 --> 00:13:44.039 repent. Doesn't mean you don't love her. But 00:13:44.039 --> 00:13:46.399 he was playing a game where she kept doing whatever. 00:13:46.779 --> 00:13:48.779 And, you know, I guess I'm the bad guy because 00:13:48.779 --> 00:13:51.200 I'm angry because my wife is unfaithful to me. 00:13:51.279 --> 00:13:55.220 Give me a break. That's not only bad theology. 00:13:56.080 --> 00:14:02.259 That's not helping her. However, anger is not 00:14:02.259 --> 00:14:06.799 only a positive emotion, but it can be, if unchecked, 00:14:06.799 --> 00:14:12.139 it can have amazing negative consequences and 00:14:12.139 --> 00:14:14.909 pitfalls. It can be an unhealthy and destructive 00:14:14.909 --> 00:14:18.129 emotional response to protect us from real or 00:14:18.129 --> 00:14:21.809 perceived hurt, frustration, or personal attack. 00:14:22.169 --> 00:14:24.610 You go through and you listen to the smartest 00:14:24.610 --> 00:14:27.750 man who's ever lived, the wisest man who's ever 00:14:27.750 --> 00:14:30.730 lived, and he talks about the issue of anger. 00:14:31.230 --> 00:14:35.909 Proverbs 19 .19. A hot -tempered man must pay 00:14:35.909 --> 00:14:38.769 the penalty. If you rescue him, you will have 00:14:38.769 --> 00:14:41.470 to do it again. When people learn to deal with 00:14:41.470 --> 00:14:43.950 their anger in unhealthy ways, it becomes a pattern. 00:14:44.070 --> 00:14:48.029 It becomes ingrained. Notice what he says in 00:14:48.029 --> 00:14:51.190 Proverbs 22, 24. Do not make friends with a hot 00:14:51.190 --> 00:14:54.870 -tempered man. Do not associate with one easily 00:14:54.870 --> 00:14:57.330 angered. Not only does it become a pattern in 00:14:57.330 --> 00:14:59.409 their life, but you catch it. It's contagious. 00:15:00.610 --> 00:15:04.529 My dad had a very big anger problem. I will tell 00:15:04.529 --> 00:15:08.090 you what, kids learn how to deal with their anger 00:15:08.090 --> 00:15:10.769 by watching their moms, their dads, their coaches, 00:15:10.809 --> 00:15:14.509 and significant others. Third, notice Proverbs 00:15:14.509 --> 00:15:18.350 29, 22, an angry man stirs up dissension and 00:15:18.350 --> 00:15:25.570 a hot -tempered one commits many sins. Anger 00:15:25.570 --> 00:15:29.750 splits apart great relationships, great marriages. 00:15:30.240 --> 00:15:33.539 Great friendships, great churches, great ministries, 00:15:33.539 --> 00:15:37.039 and great workplaces. Angry people stir up dissension. 00:15:38.679 --> 00:15:43.220 And then notice the last line. A hot -tempered 00:15:43.220 --> 00:15:47.419 one commits many sin. When I'm angry, out of 00:15:47.419 --> 00:15:50.100 control. When you're angry, out of control. And 00:15:50.100 --> 00:15:52.019 when I say out of control, I don't mean you're 00:15:52.019 --> 00:15:54.320 necessarily spewing it out. You may be pushing 00:15:54.320 --> 00:15:57.460 it all down. Some of the angriest people in the 00:15:57.460 --> 00:16:00.690 world You can't see. It's like an iceberg. 90 00:16:00.690 --> 00:16:03.970 % of it is under the water. It's during those 00:16:03.970 --> 00:16:07.110 times we do some of the most foolish, foolish 00:16:07.110 --> 00:16:11.389 things that cause some of the direst consequences 00:16:11.389 --> 00:16:14.610 in our entire life. I put a list of questions 00:16:14.610 --> 00:16:17.289 to consider, okay? Just kind of lean back and 00:16:17.289 --> 00:16:19.610 listen on this one. Have you ever done something 00:16:19.610 --> 00:16:22.549 you wished you hadn't when you're angry? Anybody? 00:16:23.929 --> 00:16:26.370 Yeah. Have you ever said something you wish you 00:16:26.370 --> 00:16:29.110 could take back when you're angry? Ooh, yeah, 00:16:29.250 --> 00:16:31.529 yeah. Have you ever made a bad decision when 00:16:31.529 --> 00:16:34.210 you're angry? A decision that you look back and 00:16:34.210 --> 00:16:37.889 you say, potentially. I mean, just potentially. 00:16:38.009 --> 00:16:39.990 That is the dumbest thing I've ever, ever done. 00:16:40.950 --> 00:16:43.409 But in anger, you know, it's like, hey, you can 00:16:43.409 --> 00:16:51.730 take this job and shove it. I don't care. Then 00:16:51.730 --> 00:16:53.289 you go home, tell your wife or your husband. 00:16:53.370 --> 00:16:56.710 What happened? I quit my job today. I'm not getting 00:16:56.710 --> 00:16:58.750 treated like that anymore. Great. So how are 00:16:58.750 --> 00:17:01.450 we going to pay the bills? I don't know. So you 00:17:01.450 --> 00:17:02.889 got another job? No, I don't have another job. 00:17:04.009 --> 00:17:06.950 What were you thinking? Well, I just got tired 00:17:06.950 --> 00:17:11.609 of the way he's treating me. Okay. See, we do 00:17:11.609 --> 00:17:15.750 really silly, really unwise, say painful, hurtful 00:17:15.750 --> 00:17:19.450 things. Have you ever ruined a friendship, a 00:17:19.450 --> 00:17:21.410 marriage, a family relationship, or a ministry 00:17:21.410 --> 00:17:25.210 relationship because of anger? Have you ever 00:17:25.210 --> 00:17:27.109 seen a person hurt because of someone's anger, 00:17:27.150 --> 00:17:28.730 physically, emotionally, or psychologically? 00:17:29.390 --> 00:17:31.650 My point I'm trying to make is without exception, 00:17:31.809 --> 00:17:34.890 we all struggle with angry feelings at times, 00:17:34.990 --> 00:17:37.829 and those angry feelings have done more than 00:17:37.829 --> 00:17:41.009 their share of damage in our relationships with 00:17:41.009 --> 00:17:45.789 other people. And if you're like me, you nodded 00:17:45.789 --> 00:17:48.769 that you have done some really stupid, foolish, 00:17:49.029 --> 00:17:51.539 painful things. When you're angry, here's what 00:17:51.539 --> 00:17:53.500 I wanna tell you. Tonight, we just wanna get 00:17:53.500 --> 00:17:56.700 on the same page, and there's hope. Let me give 00:17:56.700 --> 00:17:58.319 you a little overview of where we're gonna go 00:17:58.319 --> 00:18:00.200 and what we're gonna do, and there is hope to 00:18:00.200 --> 00:18:03.259 deal. We're gonna help you understand your anger 00:18:03.259 --> 00:18:05.680 from God's perspective. We're gonna help you 00:18:05.680 --> 00:18:10.160 discover how you tend to express your anger. 00:18:10.420 --> 00:18:12.180 We're gonna help you know when it's healthy. 00:18:12.619 --> 00:18:15.000 when it's unhealthy. We're gonna help you discover 00:18:15.000 --> 00:18:18.079 what is God's purpose for anger, the positive 00:18:18.079 --> 00:18:20.140 and how to deal with the negative. We're gonna 00:18:20.140 --> 00:18:23.019 learn some very specific techniques to learn 00:18:23.019 --> 00:18:25.799 to share your anger in a healthy way that gets 00:18:25.799 --> 00:18:28.460 the issue on the table without attacking the 00:18:28.460 --> 00:18:31.279 person. For some of you, you're gonna realize 00:18:31.279 --> 00:18:34.619 you've been angry a long, long time and the depression 00:18:34.619 --> 00:18:37.220 that you've experienced for maybe months or years 00:18:37.220 --> 00:18:41.059 is really an anger issue. For some of you, like 00:18:41.059 --> 00:18:44.180 I just talked to a guy recently, he's exploded 00:18:44.180 --> 00:18:47.380 in remorse, exploded in remorse. He could never 00:18:47.380 --> 00:18:51.000 figure out what was going on and why. And so 00:18:51.000 --> 00:18:52.799 what happened is he's got all these relationships 00:18:52.799 --> 00:18:55.720 where people keep their distance. Because what 00:18:55.720 --> 00:18:57.779 anger does, it works. When you explode and spew 00:18:57.779 --> 00:19:00.279 on people, you're not a safe person to be around. 00:19:01.079 --> 00:19:03.200 And you can come back in tears and tell them 00:19:03.200 --> 00:19:05.400 how sorry you are. And they keep giving you another 00:19:05.400 --> 00:19:08.720 chance and another chance. I've met people that 00:19:08.720 --> 00:19:11.500 everyone looks up to with such esteem, and they've 00:19:11.500 --> 00:19:14.259 got this little window of unresolved anger, and 00:19:14.259 --> 00:19:16.519 it's a besetting sin, and they don't understand 00:19:16.519 --> 00:19:18.859 why, and they don't understand how to change. 00:19:19.299 --> 00:19:21.200 We're going to walk through a journey together 00:19:21.200 --> 00:19:23.799 where the truth will set you free if you're willing 00:19:23.799 --> 00:19:26.400 to be really open and really hear God's voice. 00:19:29.980 --> 00:19:32.960 This is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. 00:19:33.440 --> 00:19:35.180 And you've been listening to part one of Chip's 00:19:35.180 --> 00:19:38.000 message, Rage, Understanding the Monster Within, 00:19:38.240 --> 00:19:41.160 from our series, Overcoming Emotions That Destroy. 00:19:41.700 --> 00:19:43.880 Chip will be back shortly to share some helpful 00:19:43.880 --> 00:19:46.920 application for us to think about. Have you ever 00:19:46.920 --> 00:19:49.539 been told you have an anger problem? Has your 00:19:49.539 --> 00:19:52.299 temper damaged or ruined a meaningful relationship? 00:19:52.700 --> 00:19:55.500 Are the frustrations of daily life weighing you 00:19:55.500 --> 00:19:58.799 down? Well, let's be honest. Everyone struggles 00:19:58.799 --> 00:20:01.819 to control this powerful emotion at times. In 00:20:01.819 --> 00:20:04.440 this series, Chip reveals the common ways anger 00:20:04.440 --> 00:20:07.740 manifests and shares practical biblical solutions 00:20:07.740 --> 00:20:10.720 to rein it in before it destroys you and your 00:20:10.720 --> 00:20:13.500 most treasured relationships. Don't miss How 00:20:13.500 --> 00:20:16.640 to Be, as Jesus said, angry without sinning. 00:20:17.200 --> 00:20:19.660 Well, Chip's back in studio with me now. And 00:20:19.660 --> 00:20:22.599 Chip, this past week, you began focusing on anger 00:20:22.599 --> 00:20:25.759 and how destructive it can be. Well, take a minute, 00:20:25.819 --> 00:20:27.359 if you wouldn't, share why you think this is 00:20:27.359 --> 00:20:29.539 such an important topic and what our listeners 00:20:29.539 --> 00:20:32.759 can learn from this series. Well, Dave, I actually 00:20:32.759 --> 00:20:35.460 taught this series a number of years ago, and 00:20:35.460 --> 00:20:38.759 later it became a book. And it's been greatly 00:20:38.759 --> 00:20:41.019 used with people that are going through very, 00:20:41.140 --> 00:20:44.089 very challenging times. And the reason I wanted 00:20:44.089 --> 00:20:47.930 to re -air this right now, Dave, is anger is 00:20:47.930 --> 00:20:50.210 at an all -time high. And whether that's that 00:20:50.210 --> 00:20:53.829 deep burning resentment or whether it's what 00:20:53.829 --> 00:20:56.630 you see people posting or the anger inside of 00:20:56.630 --> 00:21:00.069 families or in churches or workplaces, I mean, 00:21:00.089 --> 00:21:03.289 we live in a world that is so polarized, and 00:21:03.289 --> 00:21:06.170 anger is one of the most destructive emotions. 00:21:06.630 --> 00:21:09.509 But it doesn't have to be that way. By the way, 00:21:09.609 --> 00:21:11.190 what people are going to learn in this series 00:21:11.190 --> 00:21:14.200 is that we all have anger issues. Dave, we tend 00:21:14.200 --> 00:21:16.619 to think it's those people that blow up. They 00:21:16.619 --> 00:21:19.220 really have anger issues. People are going to 00:21:19.220 --> 00:21:21.900 learn that some of us stuff our anger. Others, 00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:24.819 we leak our anger. And that we can actually learn 00:21:24.819 --> 00:21:27.200 that anger is like the sort of the light on the 00:21:27.200 --> 00:21:29.759 dashboard of your car. When you find yourself 00:21:29.759 --> 00:21:33.240 feeling and getting angry, God actually wants 00:21:33.240 --> 00:21:35.559 you to say, oh, there's something underneath 00:21:35.559 --> 00:21:38.220 the hood that I need to address. And that I can 00:21:38.220 --> 00:21:40.640 tell you that anger can become your best friend. 00:21:41.079 --> 00:21:44.160 We're going to learn how to resolve anger. We're 00:21:44.160 --> 00:21:46.420 going to learn how to take some of those explosive 00:21:46.420 --> 00:21:48.880 times or those things that happening inside that 00:21:48.880 --> 00:21:52.000 make people depressed and flip them around and 00:21:52.000 --> 00:21:55.279 learn to deal with anger God's way. I don't know 00:21:55.279 --> 00:21:58.240 there's a time in my entire adult life where 00:21:58.240 --> 00:22:00.519 I see people need to learn to deal with these 00:22:00.519 --> 00:22:03.519 emotions that can destroy like right now. So 00:22:03.519 --> 00:22:05.539 I cannot wait to share this with our listeners. 00:22:06.099 --> 00:22:08.240 Thanks, Chip. Well, I hope you'll join us for 00:22:08.240 --> 00:22:10.359 the rest of this series. And to help you get 00:22:10.359 --> 00:22:12.960 the absolute most out of Chip's teaching, let 00:22:12.960 --> 00:22:15.640 me encourage you to get his message notes. Now, 00:22:15.660 --> 00:22:17.980 they include his outline, the verses he references, 00:22:18.039 --> 00:22:20.680 and some key fill -ins to help you remember what 00:22:20.680 --> 00:22:23.400 you hear. Download them under the Broadcasts 00:22:23.400 --> 00:22:27.059 tab at livingontheedge .org. App listeners, tap 00:22:27.059 --> 00:22:30.119 Fill in Notes. Well, with that, here's Chip to 00:22:30.119 --> 00:22:32.279 share a few final thoughts for us to think about. 00:22:32.880 --> 00:22:36.380 As we close today's program, I finished it asking 00:22:36.380 --> 00:22:38.900 a number of diagnostic questions pretty rapidly. 00:22:39.140 --> 00:22:42.559 And this whole series really unearthed some issues 00:22:42.559 --> 00:22:44.680 that a lot of us think, well, I don't have any 00:22:44.680 --> 00:22:48.160 anger issues. But let me review, okay? Just kind 00:22:48.160 --> 00:22:50.859 of lean back a little bit. Have you ever done 00:22:50.859 --> 00:22:53.920 something when you were angry that you wished 00:22:53.920 --> 00:22:57.119 you hadn't done? I mean, that kind of gets most 00:22:57.119 --> 00:22:59.039 all of us, doesn't it? Or let me ask you this. 00:22:59.140 --> 00:23:01.299 Have you ever made a bad decision when you're 00:23:01.299 --> 00:23:04.099 angry? Or have you ever seen a friendship or 00:23:04.099 --> 00:23:07.140 a marriage, a family relationship, or maybe something 00:23:07.140 --> 00:23:10.099 in ministry literally fall apart? because of 00:23:10.099 --> 00:23:11.980 anger. And sometimes it doesn't mean you blew 00:23:11.980 --> 00:23:15.640 up. Sometimes you got angry and you stuffed something 00:23:15.640 --> 00:23:18.220 inside and you didn't call it anger, but you 00:23:18.220 --> 00:23:19.799 just knew, I don't want to be around them anymore. 00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:23.259 And you pulled away or they pulled away. Here's 00:23:23.259 --> 00:23:24.980 what I've got to tell you. If we're going to 00:23:24.980 --> 00:23:27.839 make some real progress here, go to livingontheedge 00:23:27.839 --> 00:23:31.160 .org and just go to where the message notes are. 00:23:31.319 --> 00:23:33.619 This is the first part of overcoming emotions 00:23:33.619 --> 00:23:36.819 that destroy. Read those questions over and maybe 00:23:36.819 --> 00:23:39.660 with a friend or with a mate, just Read them 00:23:39.660 --> 00:23:41.759 over out loud over a cup of coffee in the next 00:23:41.759 --> 00:23:43.480 couple of days and say, so what do you think? 00:23:43.599 --> 00:23:45.920 You think there's any anger issues in our lives? 00:23:46.019 --> 00:23:48.579 And I will tell you, I think God will begin to 00:23:48.579 --> 00:23:50.819 reveal some things that will really help you. 00:23:51.319 --> 00:23:53.940 As we close, I want to thank each of you who 00:23:53.940 --> 00:23:56.359 makes this program possible through your generous 00:23:56.359 --> 00:23:59.980 giving. 100 % of your gifts go directly to the 00:23:59.980 --> 00:24:02.619 ministry to help Christians live like Christians. 00:24:03.299 --> 00:24:05.380 Now, if you found this teaching helpful but aren't 00:24:05.380 --> 00:24:08.430 yet on the team, consider doing that today. Sending 00:24:08.430 --> 00:24:12.230 a gift is easy. Go to livingontheedge .org or 00:24:12.230 --> 00:24:19.769 call us at 888 -333 -6003. That's 888 -333 -6003 00:24:19.769 --> 00:24:24.329 or visit livingontheedge .org. App listeners 00:24:24.329 --> 00:24:27.420 tap donate. And let me thank you in advance for 00:24:27.420 --> 00:24:30.339 doing whatever the Lord leads you to do. You've 00:24:30.339 --> 00:24:32.400 been listening to a selected program that we 00:24:32.400 --> 00:24:35.079 wanted to share from this past week. To hear 00:24:35.079 --> 00:24:37.339 more from Chip's series, Overcoming Emotions 00:24:37.339 --> 00:24:41.599 That Destroy, go to livingontheedge .org or wherever 00:24:41.599 --> 00:24:44.619 you listen to podcasts. Until next time, I'm 00:24:44.619 --> 00:24:46.819 Dave Drewy saying thanks for listening to this 00:24:46.819 --> 00:24:49.259 weekend edition of Living on the Edge.