WEBVTT 00:00:11.279 --> 00:00:14.039 The late author and Christian psychologist James 00:00:14.039 --> 00:00:17.440 Dobson once wrote, Our society can be no more 00:00:17.440 --> 00:00:20.399 stable than the foundation of individual family 00:00:20.399 --> 00:00:23.780 units upon which it rests. Our government, our 00:00:23.780 --> 00:00:26.500 institutions, our schools, indeed our way of 00:00:26.500 --> 00:00:28.899 life, are dependent on healthy marriages and 00:00:28.899 --> 00:00:31.260 loyalty to the vulnerable little children around 00:00:31.260 --> 00:00:34.280 our feet. But with that in mind, it's clear why 00:00:34.280 --> 00:00:37.039 we've seen a shocking rise in divorce, sexual 00:00:37.039 --> 00:00:40.219 sin, rebellion, and discord within our homes. 00:00:40.750 --> 00:00:43.229 Satan wants nothing more than to destroy your 00:00:43.229 --> 00:00:45.429 marriage and sever the connection to your kids 00:00:45.429 --> 00:00:49.070 by any means necessary. I'm Dave Drewy, and on 00:00:49.070 --> 00:00:51.670 this weekend edition of Living on the Edge, we'll 00:00:51.670 --> 00:00:54.049 revisit the first program in our newest series, 00:00:54.270 --> 00:00:57.390 Uninvited Guests, recognizing and resisting the 00:00:57.390 --> 00:01:00.350 attacks on your family. For the next month, Chip 00:01:00.350 --> 00:01:03.289 will continue to identify the prominent misbeliefs, 00:01:03.289 --> 00:01:06.290 conflicts, and challenges that threaten to derail 00:01:06.290 --> 00:01:08.870 our relationships with our spouses and kids. 00:01:09.530 --> 00:01:11.530 I hope you'll join us as he provides powerful 00:01:11.530 --> 00:01:14.109 insights from Scripture to help couples strengthen 00:01:14.109 --> 00:01:16.629 their marriage and empower them to be the parents 00:01:16.629 --> 00:01:19.349 their kids need them to be. And let me tell you, 00:01:19.370 --> 00:01:21.829 this is a series every husband, wife, father, 00:01:21.909 --> 00:01:24.209 and mother needs to hear. So let me strongly 00:01:24.209 --> 00:01:26.430 encourage you to invite a few married friends 00:01:26.430 --> 00:01:29.109 to listen to, either through livingontheedge 00:01:29.109 --> 00:01:32.750 .org or wherever you listen to podcasts. Okay, 00:01:32.810 --> 00:01:34.930 with that set up, here's Chip to kick off this 00:01:34.930 --> 00:01:37.609 new series with his message, The Fight for a 00:01:37.609 --> 00:01:41.569 Godly Family. I remember sitting in a group in 00:01:41.569 --> 00:01:43.510 an office. It was fairly late at night. There 00:01:43.510 --> 00:01:45.730 was about seven or eight of us. We're all very, 00:01:45.829 --> 00:01:48.709 very close. These are men super committed to 00:01:48.709 --> 00:01:51.909 Christ. And we begin to share about our families 00:01:51.909 --> 00:01:54.709 and our journeys. Some were younger. Some were 00:01:54.709 --> 00:01:57.250 older. Some had adult children. Some of us have 00:01:57.250 --> 00:02:00.269 grandchildren. And we begin to just share the 00:02:00.269 --> 00:02:02.549 challenges and the pain and the difficulties 00:02:02.549 --> 00:02:05.189 and the issues that were happening with some 00:02:05.189 --> 00:02:08.129 of our adult children or grandchildren. And that 00:02:08.129 --> 00:02:10.490 struck a chord because these are people that 00:02:10.490 --> 00:02:12.610 are in God's word on a regular basis. These are 00:02:12.610 --> 00:02:15.110 people that are committed to doing life God's 00:02:15.110 --> 00:02:18.009 way. And all of us know the culture has been 00:02:18.009 --> 00:02:21.750 hostile to a godly family. And I begin to ponder 00:02:21.750 --> 00:02:24.830 this level of pain, this level of frustration, 00:02:25.169 --> 00:02:28.530 these issues and these families. Lord, what's 00:02:28.530 --> 00:02:31.569 going on here? But family's big right now. And 00:02:31.569 --> 00:02:35.889 in the last six or seven months, I've had experiences 00:02:35.889 --> 00:02:39.050 with people that I'm very, very close to who 00:02:39.050 --> 00:02:42.669 has a son or daughter that I know who has grown 00:02:42.669 --> 00:02:45.830 up in a very solid Christian home. And it's been 00:02:45.830 --> 00:02:48.169 everything from mom and dad, I think I'm gay, 00:02:48.270 --> 00:02:50.789 to mom and dad, I think I'm a girl, but I'm in 00:02:50.789 --> 00:02:53.650 a boy's body, to mom and dad, I don't think I 00:02:53.650 --> 00:02:57.340 believe in God at all anymore. And then we have 00:02:57.340 --> 00:02:59.879 a conversation with parents feeling overwhelmingly 00:02:59.879 --> 00:03:03.240 guilty. What did we do wrong or what's happened 00:03:03.240 --> 00:03:05.860 and how could this happen and where did it start? 00:03:06.300 --> 00:03:09.479 I want to talk to you about family. And I'm not 00:03:09.479 --> 00:03:12.800 Jim Daly. Focus on the family. I'm not James 00:03:12.800 --> 00:03:16.139 Dobson. I'm not a psychologist. I'm a pastor. 00:03:16.539 --> 00:03:19.879 I've been a pastor for over 40 years now. I've 00:03:19.879 --> 00:03:23.080 got four grown kids. I've got 12 grandkids. And 00:03:23.080 --> 00:03:26.259 I've seen the whole gamut. Here's what I have 00:03:26.259 --> 00:03:29.620 to tell you. I believe we need to address the 00:03:29.620 --> 00:03:32.800 family in a new way. I think we've got to address 00:03:32.800 --> 00:03:35.599 the issues that are happening in a more dynamic 00:03:35.599 --> 00:03:38.460 way, in a way that I haven't personally in the 00:03:38.460 --> 00:03:41.639 past. with real focus. Well, Chip, you know, 00:03:41.659 --> 00:03:44.080 you've got a series on marriage that works and 00:03:44.080 --> 00:03:46.819 you teach Ephesians 5 about the family and men 00:03:46.819 --> 00:03:48.960 and women. And you have a series called Effective 00:03:48.960 --> 00:03:51.960 Parenting. And you have another series on experiencing 00:03:51.960 --> 00:03:54.159 God's dream for your marriage and all those skills 00:03:54.159 --> 00:03:56.960 about communication, resolving conflict. And 00:03:56.960 --> 00:03:59.219 if you want some good teaching from us at Living 00:03:59.219 --> 00:04:01.500 on the Edge, by God's grace has helped a lot 00:04:01.500 --> 00:04:05.080 of people. But there's something amiss. that 00:04:05.080 --> 00:04:07.979 the heart behind the kind of things that we see, 00:04:08.060 --> 00:04:11.340 these symptoms, these struggles, I think something 00:04:11.340 --> 00:04:14.840 has happened that we haven't recognized. We haven't 00:04:14.840 --> 00:04:18.600 recognized that we're in a battle. And so often, 00:04:18.720 --> 00:04:21.139 you know, sometimes I teach something and I've 00:04:21.139 --> 00:04:23.800 actually said the words, but the light didn't 00:04:23.800 --> 00:04:25.970 come on for me. You do a series on marriage. 00:04:26.170 --> 00:04:28.569 You do a series on children. Then you do a series 00:04:28.569 --> 00:04:30.750 on work and relationships. And you know what 00:04:30.750 --> 00:04:32.870 I've heard myself say is, now you need to understand 00:04:32.870 --> 00:04:35.589 that all those relationships happen in the context 00:04:35.589 --> 00:04:38.170 of spiritual warfare. I've said that out loud 00:04:38.170 --> 00:04:40.649 before. But it's just been recently I realized, 00:04:40.829 --> 00:04:44.350 oh my, that's where the real battle is. And so 00:04:44.350 --> 00:04:46.250 it doesn't surprise me when the Apostle Paul 00:04:46.250 --> 00:04:48.550 talks about, if any man is in Christ, if any 00:04:48.550 --> 00:04:50.769 woman is in Christ, you're a new creation. The 00:04:50.769 --> 00:04:53.129 old things pass away. Behold, all things become 00:04:53.129 --> 00:04:56.180 new. You're born again. You're born from above. 00:04:56.500 --> 00:04:59.500 You've turned from darkness. You're in a relationship 00:04:59.500 --> 00:05:02.500 with God through Christ. And then walk in a manner 00:05:02.500 --> 00:05:05.720 worthy. The verse here is Ephesians 4. Walk means 00:05:05.720 --> 00:05:08.879 to live out day by day. Walk in a manner worthy 00:05:08.879 --> 00:05:11.379 of your calling. And then in verse 17, he says, 00:05:11.420 --> 00:05:13.720 now walk no longer like your former manner of 00:05:13.720 --> 00:05:16.379 life. We want to go back to the way we used to 00:05:16.379 --> 00:05:18.839 live. And so he says, instead, you need to cut 00:05:18.839 --> 00:05:21.100 off the old. You renew your mind. You put on 00:05:21.100 --> 00:05:23.550 the new. And then he's going to give them practical 00:05:23.550 --> 00:05:25.629 ways to go into training to do that. And then 00:05:25.629 --> 00:05:27.930 chapter five, he says, not only walk worthy of 00:05:27.930 --> 00:05:29.790 your calling and don't walk in the old ways, 00:05:29.829 --> 00:05:33.509 walk in love, just as Christ also walked in love. 00:05:33.829 --> 00:05:36.410 And then he'll later on say, walk as children 00:05:36.410 --> 00:05:39.370 of the light. In other words, you live in such 00:05:39.370 --> 00:05:42.949 a way where your life, your relationships, your 00:05:42.949 --> 00:05:46.750 family is exposing and spreading and making real 00:05:46.750 --> 00:05:49.889 what's true. And then finally, verse 15, be very 00:05:49.889 --> 00:05:53.509 careful how you walk or you live, not as unwise, 00:05:53.610 --> 00:05:56.350 but as wise. And then he says, making the most 00:05:56.350 --> 00:06:00.290 of the opportunity. Why? The days are evil. And 00:06:00.290 --> 00:06:02.529 if Paul thought the days were evil, then think 00:06:02.529 --> 00:06:05.490 about what he might say now. The days are evil. 00:06:05.899 --> 00:06:08.399 God wants us to walk. He wants our relationships 00:06:08.399 --> 00:06:11.740 to work. So it starts with what? Don't be drunk 00:06:11.740 --> 00:06:14.579 with wine, but instead be filled or controlled 00:06:14.579 --> 00:06:17.259 by God's Spirit. Let your relationship with God, 00:06:17.300 --> 00:06:19.139 with Jesus, by the power of the Holy Spirit, 00:06:19.220 --> 00:06:21.899 be the central, most important thing. Let that 00:06:21.899 --> 00:06:25.199 focus your mind around the truth and how to live. 00:06:25.560 --> 00:06:27.959 And then it goes right from there to what? This 00:06:27.959 --> 00:06:30.959 is how marriage works. Men, love your wives the 00:06:30.959 --> 00:06:33.709 way Jesus loved the church. Ladies. Respond to 00:06:33.709 --> 00:06:35.529 your husbands the way the church responds to 00:06:35.529 --> 00:06:38.310 Christ. And then children, obey your parents. 00:06:38.689 --> 00:06:41.490 This is a blessing. This will help you. And then 00:06:41.490 --> 00:06:45.769 finally we get what? Spiritual warfare. So we 00:06:45.769 --> 00:06:47.889 put on the belt of truth. In other words, there's 00:06:47.889 --> 00:06:50.350 lies about our relationship with God. There's 00:06:50.350 --> 00:06:53.129 lies that were given in our marriage or our parenting 00:06:53.129 --> 00:06:55.370 or in our work. And then the breastplate of righteousness 00:06:55.370 --> 00:06:58.970 is living a righteous life. Satan wants to condemn 00:06:58.970 --> 00:07:02.000 us. He wants to condemn that we're not living 00:07:02.000 --> 00:07:04.439 up to and God's down on us. And the shield of 00:07:04.439 --> 00:07:06.079 faith, we need to have God's word and be able 00:07:06.079 --> 00:07:08.300 to speak God's word in a way in the midst of 00:07:08.300 --> 00:07:10.420 our marriages and our home life and identify 00:07:10.420 --> 00:07:13.720 the truth and the lies. And having our feet shod 00:07:13.720 --> 00:07:16.379 with the gospel is about being grounded and being 00:07:16.379 --> 00:07:18.899 stable in the midst of a world where there's 00:07:18.899 --> 00:07:22.120 doubts bombarding us. This passage on spiritual 00:07:22.120 --> 00:07:26.339 warfare is geared around identifying the lies 00:07:26.339 --> 00:07:29.850 in every aspect of a family. And then helping 00:07:29.850 --> 00:07:33.250 you in your relationship with God, and if you're 00:07:33.250 --> 00:07:35.449 married, in your singleness, those that have 00:07:35.449 --> 00:07:39.569 children, how to do that in a way where you identify 00:07:39.569 --> 00:07:43.689 the lie, cast it behind you, renew your mind, 00:07:43.889 --> 00:07:46.949 understand God's truth, abide in that truth, 00:07:47.089 --> 00:07:50.170 and what did Jesus promise? You shall know the 00:07:50.170 --> 00:07:54.230 truth, and the truth will set you free. I had 00:07:54.230 --> 00:07:57.449 a very unusual experience in the last year. I 00:07:57.449 --> 00:08:00.069 was asked at the local church that I go to, hey, 00:08:00.170 --> 00:08:01.990 could you help out with the young marrieds? And 00:08:01.990 --> 00:08:04.490 maybe they could go through your book, and whenever 00:08:04.490 --> 00:08:06.589 you're in town, you could teach the class. And 00:08:06.589 --> 00:08:08.230 so we did that in the fall, we did it in the 00:08:08.230 --> 00:08:10.389 spring. And there's all these young couples, 00:08:10.509 --> 00:08:13.069 50, 40 young couples, and all kind of backgrounds, 00:08:13.430 --> 00:08:15.769 some brand new Christians, some from Christian 00:08:15.769 --> 00:08:18.620 homes. And I got to sit down around the table. 00:08:18.699 --> 00:08:20.480 We would teach and have time around the table. 00:08:20.579 --> 00:08:23.860 And I would hear what's really going on. And 00:08:23.860 --> 00:08:26.259 some had brand new little babies, others some 00:08:26.259 --> 00:08:29.540 older kids. Some had been married before. And 00:08:29.540 --> 00:08:32.480 so we went through and I taught. And we got near 00:08:32.480 --> 00:08:34.899 the end. And the way the book was divided was 00:08:34.899 --> 00:08:37.240 some of the chapters were very, very short. And 00:08:37.240 --> 00:08:39.559 we were trying to do a chapter each week. And 00:08:39.559 --> 00:08:42.240 it just felt a bit redundant. And so I remember 00:08:42.240 --> 00:08:45.029 saying, The thing that has helped me the most 00:08:45.029 --> 00:08:47.990 and helped Teresa the most to break strongholds 00:08:47.990 --> 00:08:50.769 and cycles in our lives because we came from 00:08:50.769 --> 00:08:53.190 alcoholic homes and we had big struggles in our 00:08:53.190 --> 00:08:56.269 marriages, we developed these truth cards. And 00:08:56.269 --> 00:08:57.990 on one side of the cards, we would write the 00:08:57.990 --> 00:09:00.529 lies that we believed and we would learn that 00:09:00.529 --> 00:09:02.629 lots of other people believed. And then we put 00:09:02.629 --> 00:09:05.090 a stop sign, then we would flip it over, and 00:09:05.090 --> 00:09:07.409 then we would tell the truth. I remember at one 00:09:07.409 --> 00:09:09.690 point in time, we would sit down on the couch 00:09:09.690 --> 00:09:12.769 every morning for a couple years and review these 00:09:12.769 --> 00:09:15.750 cards and renew our minds. And little by little 00:09:15.750 --> 00:09:18.929 by little, we got God's view. We were learning 00:09:18.929 --> 00:09:22.110 to recognize lies. And so I took those truth 00:09:22.110 --> 00:09:25.389 cards. I made them available to the class. The 00:09:25.389 --> 00:09:28.769 atmosphere changed overnight. They were open 00:09:28.769 --> 00:09:32.610 before, but when I would read a lie, it was like, 00:09:32.649 --> 00:09:35.509 oh my. And then I would give them the truth, 00:09:35.669 --> 00:09:37.549 and then I gave them a passage to hang on to. 00:09:38.009 --> 00:09:40.629 And so here's what this whole series is about. 00:09:41.070 --> 00:09:43.350 If you're the kind of person that you would say 00:09:43.350 --> 00:09:46.710 in your heart of hearts, I really want a great 00:09:46.710 --> 00:09:49.269 family, you're going to have to fight for it. 00:09:49.549 --> 00:09:51.289 You're going to have to fight like never before. 00:09:51.750 --> 00:09:54.909 I shared those stories at the beginning because 00:09:54.909 --> 00:09:58.029 those people are in God's Word every day, in 00:09:58.029 --> 00:10:01.169 community, on mission, living for Christ, and 00:10:01.169 --> 00:10:04.120 yet, in the midst of all of that, They're having 00:10:04.120 --> 00:10:07.379 issues in their family. They never dreamed would 00:10:07.379 --> 00:10:10.059 be a part of their world and their situation. 00:10:10.480 --> 00:10:14.019 You can be a good Christian, go to church two 00:10:14.019 --> 00:10:16.559 or three times a month, read the Bible some, 00:10:16.700 --> 00:10:19.980 be that nice person, encouraging person, a good, 00:10:20.019 --> 00:10:24.419 nice neighbor. But if you don't identify these 00:10:24.419 --> 00:10:28.360 lies and understand where they come from and 00:10:28.360 --> 00:10:31.909 what they do, you're family. will be destroyed. 00:10:32.230 --> 00:10:35.809 These lies and false promises make it impossible 00:10:35.809 --> 00:10:39.409 for a person called to singleness to have a rich 00:10:39.409 --> 00:10:42.350 life knowing they're called by God to live in 00:10:42.350 --> 00:10:45.750 union with them, or to have a deep, rich marriage 00:10:45.750 --> 00:10:48.330 with ups and downs, but with real connection, 00:10:48.590 --> 00:10:52.049 real community, real love, and real sacrifice. 00:10:52.750 --> 00:10:55.769 And these lies make it impossible for children 00:10:55.769 --> 00:10:59.070 to grow up in a safe, stable, supportive environment. 00:10:59.850 --> 00:11:02.789 where they feel valued, encouraged, supported, 00:11:03.129 --> 00:11:06.190 where they discover their unique design, and 00:11:06.190 --> 00:11:08.429 even more importantly, discover the God who made 00:11:08.429 --> 00:11:11.350 them and come to a vibrant, living relationship 00:11:11.350 --> 00:11:15.049 with Jesus Christ. These lies are all through 00:11:15.049 --> 00:11:18.490 the media, academia. They come from novels. They 00:11:18.490 --> 00:11:21.029 come from music. They come from movies. They 00:11:21.029 --> 00:11:24.470 are bombarding us, even coming inside the church. 00:11:24.970 --> 00:11:27.710 Good lies like your kids need a great education. 00:11:27.970 --> 00:11:30.649 Your kids should really be successful because 00:11:30.649 --> 00:11:33.549 that will help them be happy. There's half -truths 00:11:33.549 --> 00:11:36.669 in all those things. But we have kids and we 00:11:36.669 --> 00:11:39.389 have parents and we have families that love Jesus 00:11:39.389 --> 00:11:41.850 with all their heart that have made education 00:11:41.850 --> 00:11:46.929 or playing on a sports team or success or money 00:11:46.929 --> 00:11:51.610 or pleasure a higher goal and an idol that has 00:11:51.610 --> 00:11:54.799 undermined the real relationship. We have to 00:11:54.799 --> 00:11:58.080 come to grips with the reality if 30 % of our 00:11:58.080 --> 00:12:01.200 own children in evangelical churches don't want 00:12:01.200 --> 00:12:04.399 to follow Jesus, something is fundamentally wrong. 00:12:05.919 --> 00:12:08.419 This is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, 00:12:08.480 --> 00:12:10.720 and Chip will be back to finish today's message 00:12:10.720 --> 00:12:13.460 in just a minute. But let me first gently ask 00:12:13.460 --> 00:12:16.440 you, is your marriage in trouble right now? Do 00:12:16.440 --> 00:12:18.799 you and your mate need a practical biblical tool 00:12:18.799 --> 00:12:22.139 to revive and transform your relationship? Well, 00:12:22.220 --> 00:12:24.659 we've developed a brand new resource designed 00:12:24.659 --> 00:12:27.600 to do just that. So stick around after the teaching 00:12:27.600 --> 00:12:30.379 to hear about this practical way we are encouraging 00:12:30.379 --> 00:12:33.379 couples. Until then, here again is Chip to continue 00:12:33.379 --> 00:12:37.159 our series, Uninvited Guests. I don't mean this 00:12:37.159 --> 00:12:39.460 as some indictment on those of you that are walking 00:12:39.460 --> 00:12:42.159 closely with God, but kids are saying, I grew 00:12:42.159 --> 00:12:44.720 up in a home where Christianity was not much 00:12:44.720 --> 00:12:47.519 more than a moral code. It wasn't much more than 00:12:47.519 --> 00:12:49.919 we should be nice people. And yes, my parents 00:12:49.919 --> 00:12:51.659 sent me to the youth group, and I even went to 00:12:51.659 --> 00:12:53.980 a Christian school. But there wasn't life, there 00:12:53.980 --> 00:12:56.320 wasn't vitality, there wasn't risk, there wasn't 00:12:56.320 --> 00:12:59.519 life change. I didn't see God's power. I didn't 00:12:59.519 --> 00:13:02.379 see this reality of Jesus. And when I went away 00:13:02.379 --> 00:13:04.860 to school or to trade school or got out on my 00:13:04.860 --> 00:13:09.100 own, That Jesus that is sort of nice and this 00:13:09.100 --> 00:13:12.480 moral code, as people are living completely different 00:13:12.480 --> 00:13:15.340 lives, and they ask me all kind of questions 00:13:15.340 --> 00:13:18.059 that I would begin to ask myself, is this true? 00:13:18.220 --> 00:13:21.960 And my experience began to say, it's not. You 00:13:21.960 --> 00:13:25.139 see, there are lies that have undermined our 00:13:25.139 --> 00:13:28.590 culture. our families. What I would like to do 00:13:28.590 --> 00:13:31.149 in our time together is rather than give you 00:13:31.149 --> 00:13:33.470 a good teaching on marriage, rather than say, 00:13:33.549 --> 00:13:35.830 here's seven principles for parenting, here's 00:13:35.830 --> 00:13:38.570 some great things you can have, I'd like to start 00:13:38.570 --> 00:13:42.450 with the lies and help you identify them and 00:13:42.450 --> 00:13:44.350 then talk about the truth and how to put that 00:13:44.350 --> 00:13:46.769 truth into practice. And here's what I want you 00:13:46.769 --> 00:13:49.559 to know. This isn't new, right? This isn't new 00:13:49.559 --> 00:13:52.379 at all. And God is able and ready to break the 00:13:52.379 --> 00:13:55.720 strongholds that produce division, divorce, and 00:13:55.720 --> 00:13:58.539 kids without hope. You know, when you pastor 00:13:58.539 --> 00:14:01.399 as long as I have, I've been on the other side 00:14:01.399 --> 00:14:04.320 of that counseling desk and heard story after 00:14:04.320 --> 00:14:10.080 story. Stories of infidelity. Stories of I just 00:14:10.080 --> 00:14:13.419 fell out of love. Stories like we grew apart. 00:14:14.100 --> 00:14:16.519 Stories like, we did the very best for our kids 00:14:16.519 --> 00:14:19.059 and I don't understand it. They don't even believe 00:14:19.059 --> 00:14:21.379 in God anymore. We can't even have a conversation. 00:14:21.659 --> 00:14:24.820 All we do is argue about politics. I've been 00:14:24.820 --> 00:14:27.019 on the other side of that and I'm watching what 00:14:27.019 --> 00:14:30.440 it does to families. We need a different approach. 00:14:31.019 --> 00:14:33.639 We need to understand that there is something 00:14:33.639 --> 00:14:37.559 very, very sacred to God. And it's the most fundamental 00:14:37.559 --> 00:14:41.039 unit of every society, every culture, every community. 00:14:41.179 --> 00:14:43.899 As someone wisely said, as the family goes, so 00:14:43.899 --> 00:14:47.220 goes the nation. Transformation in the families 00:14:47.220 --> 00:14:50.659 today need to start, I think, with a surgical 00:14:50.659 --> 00:14:54.639 knife of truth that cut through the lies of the 00:14:54.639 --> 00:14:57.559 culture. Help us identify some of these things 00:14:57.559 --> 00:15:00.750 that some of us, are you ready? You are actually 00:15:00.750 --> 00:15:03.529 doing things with the most sincere intentions, 00:15:03.809 --> 00:15:06.850 thinking you are really helping your kids. You 00:15:06.850 --> 00:15:09.450 want your kids to get ahead. You want your kids 00:15:09.450 --> 00:15:12.409 to prosper. And the very thing that you're doing 00:15:12.409 --> 00:15:15.230 for your kids is destroying their relationship 00:15:15.230 --> 00:15:19.909 with God and their family. Let that sink in. 00:15:20.710 --> 00:15:22.970 See, the most dangerous lies are the ones that 00:15:22.970 --> 00:15:24.730 you believe to the point where you think it's 00:15:24.730 --> 00:15:28.299 good. Just because I have good intentions, just 00:15:28.299 --> 00:15:30.480 because I have good motives, it doesn't mean 00:15:30.480 --> 00:15:33.899 that the outcomes won't be just as devastating. 00:15:34.220 --> 00:15:36.840 I want to help you to uncover the things that 00:15:36.840 --> 00:15:41.159 you actually believe that are false, that are 00:15:41.159 --> 00:15:44.740 undermining that which you hold dear. And by 00:15:44.740 --> 00:15:47.700 the way, I'm with you in this. I've believed 00:15:47.700 --> 00:15:51.220 plenty of lies. I've pushed in early years my 00:15:51.220 --> 00:15:53.919 kids way too hard thinking that They've got to 00:15:53.919 --> 00:15:55.779 be disciplined to be successful and they need 00:15:55.779 --> 00:15:58.580 to learn this and learn that. So this isn't about 00:15:58.580 --> 00:16:00.580 I've got it together and I want to tell you this 00:16:00.580 --> 00:16:02.899 is how to do it. You're talking to someone that's 00:16:02.899 --> 00:16:06.200 got 40 years as a pastor and kids that are grown 00:16:06.200 --> 00:16:09.440 and some grandkids that are grown and is on the 00:16:09.440 --> 00:16:12.480 journey with you. Our families are in trouble. 00:16:12.580 --> 00:16:15.539 When some of my closest, most godly friends are 00:16:15.539 --> 00:16:18.559 having struggles and seeing things happen in 00:16:18.559 --> 00:16:21.779 their family, I think it's time to stop and say, 00:16:22.000 --> 00:16:26.899 God, I really want to have a great family and 00:16:26.899 --> 00:16:30.639 I'm willing to pay the price. I'm willing to 00:16:30.639 --> 00:16:32.840 listen. I'm willing to learn. I'm willing to 00:16:32.840 --> 00:16:35.440 swim upstream. I'm willing to do whatever God 00:16:35.440 --> 00:16:38.429 wants me to do because here's the deal. I'm old 00:16:38.429 --> 00:16:41.450 enough now to realize the people that are happiest, 00:16:41.710 --> 00:16:45.129 the people who have a real sense of reward, it's 00:16:45.129 --> 00:16:47.809 not how big a house they had, not whether they 00:16:47.809 --> 00:16:50.769 went public, not whether they got famous. Every 00:16:50.769 --> 00:16:53.490 family relationship flows out of your relationship 00:16:53.490 --> 00:16:57.399 with God. It's the people that have deep. deep 00:16:57.399 --> 00:17:00.399 relationships, that have adult kids that want 00:17:00.399 --> 00:17:03.740 to be around them, that see a lineage of people 00:17:03.740 --> 00:17:06.720 that are walking and growing and people of integrity, 00:17:06.900 --> 00:17:10.480 and they're at peace with themselves. Every family 00:17:10.480 --> 00:17:13.819 has issues. I mean, pull back the curtain to 00:17:13.819 --> 00:17:17.359 my life, your life, anyone that maybe a spiritual 00:17:17.359 --> 00:17:20.339 leader, a pastor, someone you admire, you pull 00:17:20.339 --> 00:17:22.180 back the curtain. I'm just going to tell you, 00:17:22.259 --> 00:17:24.799 they've got issues just like you and just like 00:17:24.799 --> 00:17:28.369 me. I'm not talking about developing some cookie 00:17:28.369 --> 00:17:31.029 -cutter perfect families. We're talking about 00:17:31.029 --> 00:17:34.990 real, authentic love where it covers a multitude 00:17:34.990 --> 00:17:37.809 of sins, where we look back on our pain and how 00:17:37.809 --> 00:17:40.269 we persevere and how we recognize what we have 00:17:40.269 --> 00:17:42.970 done wrong, apologize to one another, forgive 00:17:42.970 --> 00:17:45.970 one another, and experience the mercy and the 00:17:45.970 --> 00:17:48.950 grace and the love of God. I'm not sure there's 00:17:48.950 --> 00:17:51.750 anything that is a greater testimony to the world, 00:17:51.789 --> 00:17:54.569 right? Jesus said, let your light so shine before 00:17:54.569 --> 00:17:57.529 men that they may see your good works and glorify 00:17:57.529 --> 00:18:00.109 your Father who is in heaven. I think the greatest 00:18:00.109 --> 00:18:02.190 good works we could ever have in the world that 00:18:02.190 --> 00:18:04.599 we're living in. is people that have been married 00:18:04.599 --> 00:18:07.640 five years and they're deeply in love, 45 years 00:18:07.640 --> 00:18:11.680 and deeply in love, 17 years lost a child, weathered 00:18:11.680 --> 00:18:14.299 through it, deeply in love. Kids that grow up 00:18:14.299 --> 00:18:16.200 and don't have it all together but honor their 00:18:16.200 --> 00:18:19.380 parents, want to walk with God, have a sense 00:18:19.380 --> 00:18:22.160 of responsibility and clear calling, purpose 00:18:22.160 --> 00:18:24.859 in life and meaning. You talk about good works. 00:18:25.200 --> 00:18:28.319 Few things will be more important to show the 00:18:28.319 --> 00:18:31.059 world the love of Christ than marriages that 00:18:31.059 --> 00:18:35.200 reflect Jesus. in his church. This is not new. 00:18:35.380 --> 00:18:37.819 Some of you know the Bible pretty well and others 00:18:37.819 --> 00:18:40.740 you'll need to go to Genesis chapter 3 and maybe 00:18:40.740 --> 00:18:42.640 the first few chapters you may want to read it. 00:18:42.880 --> 00:18:45.900 But think about a perfect environment, a loving 00:18:45.900 --> 00:18:48.960 God who's created the first human beings. The 00:18:48.960 --> 00:18:52.099 one test is don't eat from that tree. And then 00:18:52.099 --> 00:18:54.359 the enemy comes and where does he start? With 00:18:54.359 --> 00:18:58.480 a lie. The lie is what? If you eat this, you 00:18:58.480 --> 00:19:01.420 won't die. Well, it had half truth. You won't 00:19:01.420 --> 00:19:03.559 physically die. but you'll be separated from 00:19:03.559 --> 00:19:07.039 God. He cast doubt on God's character. God doesn't 00:19:07.039 --> 00:19:09.539 have your best in mind. If you do life God's 00:19:09.539 --> 00:19:11.420 way, you're going to miss out. That was the message. 00:19:11.960 --> 00:19:14.680 And so there's disobedience. And then after the 00:19:14.680 --> 00:19:16.700 disobedience, not only is there a break of relationship 00:19:16.700 --> 00:19:19.000 with God, then we have our very first parents 00:19:19.000 --> 00:19:22.079 blaming and naming. It was her fault. No, it 00:19:22.079 --> 00:19:24.720 was his fault. No, it's your fault, God. You're 00:19:24.720 --> 00:19:26.619 the one that made this place. And then pretty 00:19:26.619 --> 00:19:28.839 soon there's not just division, but then there's 00:19:28.839 --> 00:19:32.500 hostility and there's envy. And so we have the 00:19:32.500 --> 00:19:36.119 first murder. Satan lies about a relationship 00:19:36.119 --> 00:19:39.500 with God, produces animosity in the relationship, 00:19:39.720 --> 00:19:42.599 then has siblings who literally one kills the 00:19:42.599 --> 00:19:45.460 other, and then creates a world of violence and 00:19:45.460 --> 00:19:48.779 death. So much so that by Genesis chapter 9, 00:19:48.960 --> 00:19:51.720 God says the violence is so great, I've had enough, 00:19:51.839 --> 00:19:55.099 and we have the flood. And then we have this 00:19:55.099 --> 00:19:58.359 new generation, and God's promise in the sky, 00:19:58.599 --> 00:20:02.390 and then this tower gets built. The enemy takes 00:20:02.390 --> 00:20:05.690 technology and the amazing dignity and beauty 00:20:05.690 --> 00:20:08.529 of mankind. And they build a tower to make our 00:20:08.529 --> 00:20:11.490 name great into the heavens. And God frustrates 00:20:11.490 --> 00:20:14.869 their languages. The enemy had a lie about God. 00:20:15.130 --> 00:20:18.170 He had a lie about marriage. He gave a lie about 00:20:18.170 --> 00:20:20.890 children. He gave a lie about what makes communities 00:20:20.890 --> 00:20:23.650 work. And he gave a lie about the work of our 00:20:23.650 --> 00:20:26.529 hands and technology. And it's been going on 00:20:26.529 --> 00:20:30.329 ever since. We're going to spend the next month. 00:20:30.859 --> 00:20:34.640 identifying some lies in our marriages, in our 00:20:34.640 --> 00:20:38.339 parenting, and in the culture around us to live 00:20:38.339 --> 00:20:41.039 in the power of the Holy Spirit that we can have 00:20:41.039 --> 00:20:44.140 the kind of families that we long for and that 00:20:44.140 --> 00:20:48.220 Jesus wants us to have for his glory and to show 00:20:48.220 --> 00:20:50.900 the world around us that there is hope because 00:20:50.900 --> 00:20:54.619 they are hurting and he's the answer. He says, 00:20:54.740 --> 00:21:01.569 you're my method. This is Living on the Edge 00:21:01.569 --> 00:21:03.849 with Chip Ingram, and you've been listening to 00:21:03.849 --> 00:21:06.170 Chip's message, The Fight for a Godly Family, 00:21:06.329 --> 00:21:09.309 from our series, Uninvited Guests, recognizing 00:21:09.309 --> 00:21:12.789 and resisting the attacks on your family. Picture 00:21:12.789 --> 00:21:15.410 this. You're at a lively party or a delightful 00:21:15.410 --> 00:21:18.690 family reunion when out of nowhere an uninvited 00:21:18.690 --> 00:21:21.670 person barges in, creating chaos and dysfunction, 00:21:22.069 --> 00:21:25.410 spoiling the celebration for everyone. In the 00:21:25.410 --> 00:21:27.849 upcoming programs, Chip reveals how we've allowed 00:21:27.849 --> 00:21:31.289 dangerous misbeliefs and ideologies to trespass 00:21:31.289 --> 00:21:34.329 into our homes. Learn how, since the Garden of 00:21:34.329 --> 00:21:37.130 Eden, these intruders have fueled conflict in 00:21:37.130 --> 00:21:40.349 marriages, damaged relationships, and undermined 00:21:40.349 --> 00:21:43.230 the very foundation of the family. Join Chip 00:21:43.230 --> 00:21:46.069 as he exposes the biggest lies couples have believed 00:21:46.069 --> 00:21:48.829 and challenges us to renew our minds with the 00:21:48.829 --> 00:21:51.990 life -giving truth of God's Word. You won't want 00:21:51.990 --> 00:21:54.730 to miss a single message. Well, Chip's here in 00:21:54.730 --> 00:21:57.450 studio with me now. And Chip, as you sifted through 00:21:57.450 --> 00:21:59.849 all the research about marriage and parenting 00:21:59.849 --> 00:22:02.609 for this series, there was one myth that came 00:22:02.609 --> 00:22:05.470 up a lot. With all of this conflict in our marriage, 00:22:05.569 --> 00:22:08.269 it's better for our kids if we just get divorced. 00:22:08.829 --> 00:22:12.390 Dave, that is one of the most believed myths 00:22:12.390 --> 00:22:15.670 about marriage. That old school thinking of we're 00:22:15.670 --> 00:22:18.849 staying together just for the kids is actually 00:22:18.849 --> 00:22:22.490 true. If there's challenges, struggle, argument, 00:22:22.750 --> 00:22:25.890 kids will make it through. They're very resilient. 00:22:26.210 --> 00:22:28.930 Now, here's the problem. People don't want to 00:22:28.930 --> 00:22:31.690 stay together. When it gets really hard, how 00:22:31.690 --> 00:22:34.089 do you resolve conflict? How do you learn to 00:22:34.089 --> 00:22:37.329 communicate? There are so many good Christians 00:22:37.329 --> 00:22:40.650 who are living like roommates now. Their marriage 00:22:40.650 --> 00:22:43.329 isn't fulfilling. They want to stay together 00:22:43.329 --> 00:22:46.349 for their kids, but they can't imagine living 00:22:46.349 --> 00:22:49.130 the way they are forever and ever and ever. And 00:22:49.130 --> 00:22:51.470 so they feel hopeless. Here's what I want to 00:22:51.470 --> 00:22:54.930 say. You can work this out, and we have a tool 00:22:54.930 --> 00:22:58.029 to help you. Marriage That Works Truth Cards 00:22:58.029 --> 00:23:01.890 is a beginning step. to resolve some big pains 00:23:01.890 --> 00:23:04.890 in your marriage and create an environment that 00:23:04.890 --> 00:23:08.289 your kids can thrive in. We really want to help 00:23:08.289 --> 00:23:10.769 you learn to communicate, to resolve conflict. 00:23:10.950 --> 00:23:13.950 That begins with eliminating or addressing lies 00:23:13.950 --> 00:23:16.269 that you believe. And then you have to have some 00:23:16.269 --> 00:23:19.069 foundational truths. And if you'll review a few 00:23:19.069 --> 00:23:22.549 of these every single day for 30 days, 60 days, 00:23:22.750 --> 00:23:25.329 your thinking will change, your words will change, 00:23:25.430 --> 00:23:27.940 and your marriage will change. Don't... Throw 00:23:27.940 --> 00:23:31.420 away a good marriage or even a problem marriage 00:23:31.420 --> 00:23:34.680 because of your present struggles. If you think 00:23:34.680 --> 00:23:37.440 that there's an easy divorce and it doesn't impact 00:23:37.440 --> 00:23:40.839 your kids, you're completely wrong. The impact 00:23:40.839 --> 00:23:44.359 goes on for decades. Let's stay together. Let's 00:23:44.359 --> 00:23:46.759 obey God's commands, and we want to help you. 00:23:46.940 --> 00:23:48.819 So, Dave, take a minute and share with people 00:23:48.819 --> 00:23:51.660 how they can get these cards. Sure, Chip. It's 00:23:51.660 --> 00:23:53.799 actually really simple. Throughout this entire 00:23:53.799 --> 00:23:56.519 series, for anyone who chooses to become a monthly 00:23:56.519 --> 00:23:59.079 partner with Living on the Edge, we'll send you 00:23:59.079 --> 00:24:01.920 these new Marriage That Works Truth Cards as 00:24:01.920 --> 00:24:04.599 our way of saying thanks. So please pray about 00:24:04.599 --> 00:24:07.240 supporting us. Your gifts have an eternal impact 00:24:07.240 --> 00:24:09.779 as we fight for marriages and families everywhere. 00:24:10.180 --> 00:24:12.740 To learn how to become a monthly partner, visit 00:24:12.740 --> 00:24:18.740 livingontheedge .org or call us at 888 -333 -6003. 00:24:18.940 --> 00:24:24.599 That's 888 -333 -6003 or go to livingontheedge 00:24:24.599 --> 00:24:28.920 .org. App listeners, tap donate. You've been 00:24:28.920 --> 00:24:31.099 listening to a selected program that we wanted 00:24:31.099 --> 00:24:33.799 to share from this past week. To hear more from 00:24:33.799 --> 00:24:36.259 Chip's series, Uninvited Guests, recognizing 00:24:36.259 --> 00:24:39.000 and resisting the attacks on your family, go 00:24:39.000 --> 00:24:42.220 to livingontheedge .org or wherever you listen 00:24:42.220 --> 00:24:45.319 to podcasts. Until next time, I'm Dave Drewy 00:24:45.319 --> 00:24:47.599 saying thanks for listening to this weekend edition 00:24:47.599 --> 00:24:49.259 of Living on the Edge.