WEBVTT 00:00:11.240 --> 00:00:15.019 What does it really mean to have peace? I mean, 00:00:15.039 --> 00:00:18.120 is it just being calm and centered? Or is it 00:00:18.120 --> 00:00:21.399 avoiding conflict and anxiety? What if it's much 00:00:21.399 --> 00:00:25.420 more? What if it's contentment, wholeness, satisfaction? 00:00:26.300 --> 00:00:28.579 That's the kind of peace God wants to give you. 00:00:28.899 --> 00:00:31.859 Today, we're going to learn, even in tough relationships, 00:00:32.000 --> 00:00:37.759 how you can experience it. Welcome to this weekend 00:00:37.759 --> 00:00:40.679 edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. 00:00:41.130 --> 00:00:43.490 The mission of this daily program is to intentionally 00:00:43.490 --> 00:00:46.289 disciple Christians through the insightful Bible 00:00:46.289 --> 00:00:48.929 teaching of Chip Ingram. And a few days ago, 00:00:48.969 --> 00:00:51.689 we began his popular series, I Choose Peace, 00:00:51.929 --> 00:00:54.609 How to Quiet Your Heart in the Chaos of Life. 00:00:54.869 --> 00:00:57.310 For the next week or so, Chip will take us on 00:00:57.310 --> 00:01:00.070 a journey through Philippians chapter 4, revealing 00:01:00.070 --> 00:01:03.469 God's incredible gift of peace. Discover how 00:01:03.469 --> 00:01:05.989 we can have a biblical response even in times 00:01:05.989 --> 00:01:09.010 of uncertainty, pain, anxiety, and conflict. 00:01:09.640 --> 00:01:11.780 Today we're highlighting the first program in 00:01:11.780 --> 00:01:14.260 this insightful series. So with that, get your 00:01:14.260 --> 00:01:17.000 Bible and notes ready as we join Chip to kick 00:01:17.000 --> 00:01:20.019 off this series with his talk in relational conflict. 00:01:21.340 --> 00:01:24.239 The title of this series is called I Choose Peace 00:01:24.239 --> 00:01:27.959 because peace is a gift and it's a choice and 00:01:27.959 --> 00:01:30.480 you can have it if you've never had it. But here's 00:01:30.480 --> 00:01:32.620 what I can also tell you as a follower of Jesus, 00:01:32.859 --> 00:01:36.060 I experienced that peace and I've actually figured 00:01:36.060 --> 00:01:38.980 out ways to quench it so I don't experience it. 00:01:39.390 --> 00:01:41.489 I've learned how to worry. I've learned how to 00:01:41.489 --> 00:01:43.349 be uptight. I've learned how to focus on the 00:01:43.349 --> 00:01:45.250 future. I've learned to get in conflict with 00:01:45.250 --> 00:01:48.349 other Christians, where that peace just dissipates. 00:01:48.709 --> 00:01:50.810 With that said, you'll notice on your notes, 00:01:50.969 --> 00:01:53.290 there's three approaches, or what I would say, 00:01:53.290 --> 00:01:58.109 there's three sources of peace. And I mean this 00:01:58.109 --> 00:02:00.569 by sources. When I say what I'm going to say, 00:02:00.650 --> 00:02:03.090 don't think everything is terrible or wrong with 00:02:03.090 --> 00:02:04.870 a couple of these things. There's some great 00:02:04.870 --> 00:02:08.110 skills, but as a source. In other words, one 00:02:08.110 --> 00:02:11.469 source in our day would be peace is within you. 00:02:11.530 --> 00:02:14.110 You just need to discover it. It's inward. Key 00:02:14.110 --> 00:02:18.449 words would be meditation, relaxation. You need 00:02:18.449 --> 00:02:24.409 to center, okay? And that the peace is your harmony 00:02:24.409 --> 00:02:27.750 with the cosmos, but where you need to look for 00:02:27.750 --> 00:02:32.909 peace is within. The second source we are told 00:02:32.909 --> 00:02:39.539 about peace is outward. Words like achieve, conquer, 00:02:39.860 --> 00:02:44.460 control, perform. In other words, the peace is 00:02:44.460 --> 00:02:47.840 out there. You need to accomplish this, conquer 00:02:47.840 --> 00:02:50.580 that. You need to get into a good school, get 00:02:50.580 --> 00:02:53.159 great grades, find the right person, get a great 00:02:53.159 --> 00:02:56.360 job, live in a nice home, drive a nice car, achieve 00:02:56.360 --> 00:02:58.340 certain things, have a certain amount of money. 00:02:58.400 --> 00:03:00.919 And somehow, someday, as you do all those things 00:03:00.919 --> 00:03:04.229 and you achieve and conquer and perform, then 00:03:04.229 --> 00:03:07.210 your desires and your circumstances will align, 00:03:07.469 --> 00:03:11.689 and then someday you'll have peace. That's the 00:03:11.689 --> 00:03:13.830 Western way, the American way. The first is more 00:03:13.830 --> 00:03:16.830 Eastern. Now, don't get me wrong. Are there some 00:03:16.830 --> 00:03:19.669 good things we learn about maybe breathing to 00:03:19.669 --> 00:03:23.770 take away stress or stretching? Or is there goals 00:03:23.770 --> 00:03:26.870 that we learn from sort of achieving and growing? 00:03:26.990 --> 00:03:31.379 But I'm talking about the source. A movie came 00:03:31.379 --> 00:03:33.719 out and it told the story of the richest man 00:03:33.719 --> 00:03:36.800 in the world at the time, J. Paul Getty. And 00:03:36.800 --> 00:03:38.520 the story of the movie, I think it's called, 00:03:38.580 --> 00:03:40.340 I didn't get to watch it, but I read the review. 00:03:40.780 --> 00:03:42.740 It's called All the Money in the World. And in 00:03:42.740 --> 00:03:44.979 1973, he was the richest person in the world. 00:03:45.219 --> 00:03:47.620 He's bringing in about, oil business alone, 20 00:03:47.620 --> 00:03:52.360 million a day. And the story goes on of a man 00:03:52.360 --> 00:03:55.960 who's consumed with money. He had five divorces. 00:03:55.960 --> 00:03:57.759 And it's interesting, near the end of his life, 00:03:57.939 --> 00:04:01.879 I mean, if, If the outward could deliver, this 00:04:01.879 --> 00:04:05.199 guy has everything. The end of his life, they 00:04:05.199 --> 00:04:08.080 said, do you have any regrets? He said, I have 00:04:08.080 --> 00:04:12.280 two. He was not on speaking terms with his children. 00:04:13.479 --> 00:04:16.620 I would give all the money, think of that, all 00:04:16.620 --> 00:04:20.939 the money away tomorrow for one good marriage 00:04:20.939 --> 00:04:28.639 and personal peace in my heart. You can't buy 00:04:28.639 --> 00:04:31.990 those, can you? But even as followers of Christ, 00:04:32.189 --> 00:04:36.529 you cannot experience those. The third is the 00:04:36.529 --> 00:04:41.589 upward. It's words like trust, depend, abide. 00:04:42.569 --> 00:04:48.050 Words like faith and love and obey. See, the 00:04:48.050 --> 00:04:50.850 peace of God isn't some ethereal something that 00:04:50.850 --> 00:04:53.730 you can discover with alignment. It's not achieving 00:04:53.730 --> 00:04:57.610 things. Peace is actually a person. Jesus said, 00:04:57.670 --> 00:05:00.949 my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives, 00:05:01.050 --> 00:05:03.829 but my peace I give to you. In other words, when 00:05:03.829 --> 00:05:06.370 I turned, I didn't know this happened, from my 00:05:06.370 --> 00:05:09.089 sin and I invited Christ to come into my life 00:05:09.089 --> 00:05:11.550 and forgive me, he takes up residence and he 00:05:11.550 --> 00:05:14.209 seals me by his spirit and the person of Jesus 00:05:14.209 --> 00:05:16.629 in the person of the Holy Spirit lives in you 00:05:16.629 --> 00:05:19.910 and there's a control and a goodness and a calm. 00:05:20.230 --> 00:05:22.610 In fact, the fruit of the spirit is love, joy. 00:05:24.250 --> 00:05:28.649 For those who don't know, love, joy. So as I'm 00:05:28.649 --> 00:05:31.529 abiding, whether circumstances are up or down, 00:05:31.610 --> 00:05:34.850 relationships good or bad, the stock market goes 00:05:34.850 --> 00:05:39.889 north or south. There's a supernatural peace, 00:05:39.970 --> 00:05:41.850 the Bible says, that transcends understanding, 00:05:42.189 --> 00:05:44.529 that he'll keep you in perfect peace as your 00:05:44.529 --> 00:05:47.269 mind is stayed on him because you trust him. 00:05:47.410 --> 00:05:50.529 That's what we're talking about. When the world 00:05:50.529 --> 00:05:52.970 or the dictionary defines peace, it's usually 00:05:52.970 --> 00:05:55.250 the absence of things. Notice I put the definition 00:05:55.250 --> 00:05:57.829 in your notes. It's the absence of disturbance 00:05:57.829 --> 00:06:02.350 and hostility. It's free from internal and external 00:06:02.350 --> 00:06:05.759 strife. In other words, we think peace is just, 00:06:05.800 --> 00:06:07.720 it's calm. We're just kind of getting along. 00:06:08.079 --> 00:06:10.459 There's no big thing out there or there's no 00:06:10.459 --> 00:06:14.319 big conflict within here. The word peace and 00:06:14.319 --> 00:06:16.160 the kind of peace we're going to learn about 00:06:16.160 --> 00:06:20.540 and choose and enjoy is a peace that is not just 00:06:20.540 --> 00:06:23.240 the external or just the internal. It's something 00:06:23.240 --> 00:06:26.860 that God adds. The Hebrew word is shalom. And 00:06:26.860 --> 00:06:29.970 we know it means peace. But the word shalom is 00:06:29.970 --> 00:06:32.350 way, way bigger. There's four aspects of shalom. 00:06:32.449 --> 00:06:35.709 First, it's the complete soundness or wholeness 00:06:35.709 --> 00:06:38.490 of health. It's a piece of your mind, your body, 00:06:38.529 --> 00:06:41.889 and your emotions. Second, it's harmony in relationships. 00:06:42.069 --> 00:06:44.810 You have shalom in your marriage, shalom with 00:06:44.810 --> 00:06:47.410 your neighbors. You have shalom at work. You 00:06:47.410 --> 00:06:50.779 have shalom with the body of Christ. Third, it's 00:06:50.779 --> 00:06:53.839 success or progress with your purpose. In other 00:06:53.839 --> 00:06:56.680 words, there's great peace in, I was made to 00:06:56.680 --> 00:06:59.360 do this. I'm in line with the creator of what 00:06:59.360 --> 00:07:02.360 he made me to do. And I have ups and downs, but 00:07:02.360 --> 00:07:05.300 I'm doing it. And there's a peace. There's people 00:07:05.300 --> 00:07:07.060 that spend their whole life wondering, should 00:07:07.060 --> 00:07:09.240 I be in this job? Should we really live here? 00:07:09.399 --> 00:07:12.860 Should I do that? There's no peace. And there's 00:07:12.860 --> 00:07:14.680 the FOMO. There's always the fear of missing 00:07:14.680 --> 00:07:16.519 out. So maybe I should be doing this. Oh, maybe 00:07:16.519 --> 00:07:17.819 I should be doing this. Oh, maybe I should be 00:07:17.819 --> 00:07:20.420 doing this. And you have this acid going around. 00:07:21.339 --> 00:07:23.439 Peace may be the greatest thing God could ever 00:07:23.439 --> 00:07:25.800 give you, and if you're a follower, you have 00:07:25.800 --> 00:07:30.879 it. It's a choice. In fact, the shalom is victory 00:07:30.879 --> 00:07:34.160 over your enemies. It's that God will protect 00:07:34.160 --> 00:07:38.040 you. Jesus' last words on the last night, he 00:07:38.040 --> 00:07:41.060 said to his disciples, peace I leave with you, 00:07:41.160 --> 00:07:46.779 my peace I give you. I do not give as the world 00:07:46.779 --> 00:07:50.089 gives. And then what a great line for us, the 00:07:50.089 --> 00:07:51.949 world where it's at. Do not let your heart be 00:07:51.949 --> 00:07:57.649 troubled. Don't be afraid. Let not your heart 00:07:57.649 --> 00:08:00.509 be troubled. Don't look at anybody right now. 00:08:01.730 --> 00:08:05.629 But can I just ask you to ask yourself, is your 00:08:05.629 --> 00:08:11.089 heart troubled? I mean, for real. Are you afraid? 00:08:13.040 --> 00:08:15.660 Do you find yourself watching the news or hearing 00:08:15.660 --> 00:08:18.560 information or worried about your job or convinced 00:08:18.560 --> 00:08:20.819 in your mind you're never going to get married 00:08:20.819 --> 00:08:22.540 or convinced that the marriage you have is never 00:08:22.540 --> 00:08:26.100 going to be any good or right? You understand 00:08:26.100 --> 00:08:29.540 you can live your whole life with a supernatural 00:08:29.540 --> 00:08:33.639 peace as a follower of Christ available and not 00:08:33.639 --> 00:08:36.399 choose it. And so we're going to go through the 00:08:36.399 --> 00:08:39.769 five things that rob us of our peace. In Philippians 00:08:39.769 --> 00:08:42.490 chapter 4, and the first one is conflict in a 00:08:42.490 --> 00:08:46.230 relationship. There's a question on the bottom 00:08:46.230 --> 00:08:48.389 of the page. See, this could end up a seminar. 00:08:49.269 --> 00:08:51.250 And you could be, oh, this is really interesting 00:08:51.250 --> 00:08:54.110 information, and I took Psych 201, and there's 00:08:54.110 --> 00:08:56.190 a lot of principles here, and oh, this is really 00:08:56.190 --> 00:08:58.730 good. No, no, no, no, this isn't a seminar. Here's 00:08:58.730 --> 00:09:04.549 the deal. Who in your relational network are 00:09:04.549 --> 00:09:09.049 you at odds with? If you had to come up with 00:09:09.049 --> 00:09:10.830 a person, a mom, a dad, a brother, a sister, 00:09:10.929 --> 00:09:13.409 one of your kids, a roommate, a neighbor, a fellow 00:09:13.409 --> 00:09:16.190 worker, if there's someone that you could just 00:09:16.190 --> 00:09:18.289 whisper, oh God, because some of them, they're 00:09:18.289 --> 00:09:20.409 so in the past and we push it down. You know, 00:09:20.409 --> 00:09:22.750 it's a brother -in -law, it's an ex -mate, there's 00:09:22.750 --> 00:09:25.549 issues. And what happens is you don't deal with 00:09:25.549 --> 00:09:29.389 poison and hostility and lack of relationship 00:09:29.389 --> 00:09:32.669 health. Bad stuff happens to your stomach and 00:09:32.669 --> 00:09:36.039 your migraines and your soul. And we're going 00:09:36.039 --> 00:09:38.080 to walk through a process that the Bible will 00:09:38.080 --> 00:09:44.039 give about how to get peace when you have relational 00:09:44.039 --> 00:09:47.480 conflict. So I want you to think about who would 00:09:47.480 --> 00:09:50.000 you really like to have peace with? Who would 00:09:50.000 --> 00:09:54.059 you like to say, as far as it depends on you, 00:09:54.120 --> 00:09:56.100 I'm not saying that there's reconciliation and 00:09:56.100 --> 00:09:57.820 everything's going to be wonderful, but as far 00:09:57.820 --> 00:10:02.059 as it depends on you, who? Because I want you 00:10:02.059 --> 00:10:04.909 to listen through the lens of that person. Now, 00:10:04.970 --> 00:10:06.990 for some of you, it's your mate and they're not 00:10:06.990 --> 00:10:09.830 here. And your first thought is, well, I wish 00:10:09.830 --> 00:10:11.769 they were here because he really needs to hear 00:10:11.769 --> 00:10:14.070 this or she really needs to hear this. Because 00:10:14.070 --> 00:10:16.809 like me, 95 % of all my relational problems are 00:10:16.809 --> 00:10:22.909 someone else's fault. Right? Honest, it's how 00:10:22.909 --> 00:10:26.210 we think. So many of our relationships, if my 00:10:26.210 --> 00:10:28.450 supervisor, if my boss, if one of my kids, if 00:10:28.450 --> 00:10:31.169 my mom, if my dad, you know, if she or he would 00:10:31.169 --> 00:10:32.769 just straighten up and get with the program, 00:10:32.929 --> 00:10:35.809 we'd have a great relationship. I'm kind of the 00:10:35.809 --> 00:10:37.470 person on the right, and they're totally messed 00:10:37.470 --> 00:10:39.730 up. Now, we never say it quite like that. We 00:10:39.730 --> 00:10:41.789 just feel it, and we have emotions and anger 00:10:41.789 --> 00:10:45.669 and resentment. You're listening to Living on 00:10:45.669 --> 00:10:47.940 the Edge. And you'll be back to continue our 00:10:47.940 --> 00:10:50.779 series, I Choose Peace, in just a minute. But 00:10:50.779 --> 00:10:52.799 let me quickly tell you that we are more than 00:10:52.799 --> 00:10:55.179 a broadcast ministry. We're supporting pastors 00:10:55.179 --> 00:10:58.539 globally, developing helpful resources, and sharing 00:10:58.539 --> 00:11:01.399 the gospel with this next generation. So if you'd 00:11:01.399 --> 00:11:03.419 like to join us in these efforts, become a monthly 00:11:03.419 --> 00:11:08.039 partner by going to livingontheedge .org. Thanks 00:11:08.039 --> 00:11:11.580 for your support. Well, here again is Chip. What 00:11:11.580 --> 00:11:13.799 you have in Philippians chapter 4 in the context 00:11:13.799 --> 00:11:17.500 is this. There's a man in prison named the Apostle 00:11:17.500 --> 00:11:20.220 Paul. There's a church that he loves deeply. 00:11:20.419 --> 00:11:23.860 He's been in prison there. A church grew. There's 00:11:23.860 --> 00:11:27.240 a deep connection. God did amazing things. And 00:11:27.240 --> 00:11:29.120 now there's some struggles in the church. Some 00:11:29.120 --> 00:11:30.879 people at the end of chapter three are kind of 00:11:30.879 --> 00:11:34.139 drifting away from the Lord. There's some conflict 00:11:34.139 --> 00:11:36.259 we're going to find with people within the church. 00:11:36.779 --> 00:11:40.259 And I mean, he loves them. I mean, he so loves 00:11:40.259 --> 00:11:42.740 them. And he wanted to remind them there's hope 00:11:42.740 --> 00:11:44.759 and there's persecution, even in the midst of 00:11:44.759 --> 00:11:46.860 this world. And he reminded at the end of chapter 00:11:46.860 --> 00:11:50.059 three that, you know what? Jesus really is coming 00:11:50.059 --> 00:11:52.779 back. There is a heaven that's real. There's 00:11:52.779 --> 00:11:56.899 a reality that the only sure hope in the world 00:11:56.899 --> 00:11:59.440 that we live in is laying hold of. Our citizenship 00:11:59.440 --> 00:12:02.419 really is in heaven. But we're to live out this 00:12:02.419 --> 00:12:05.580 life dramatically different on earth. And so 00:12:05.580 --> 00:12:07.740 he talked about that, and now he's going to say, 00:12:07.840 --> 00:12:10.539 it's more than just your individual life kind 00:12:10.539 --> 00:12:13.580 of walking faithfully with God. He says there's 00:12:13.580 --> 00:12:16.480 a relationship problem. There's relational conflict, 00:12:16.600 --> 00:12:20.299 and he's going to address it. In verse 1, what 00:12:20.299 --> 00:12:23.360 I want you to listen for is his heart. Ask yourself, 00:12:23.720 --> 00:12:28.340 is he mad? Is he angry? Is this God saying, get 00:12:28.340 --> 00:12:32.360 with the program? Verse 1, therefore, my brothers 00:12:32.360 --> 00:12:36.460 in whom I love. And I long for my joy and my 00:12:36.460 --> 00:12:39.059 crown. That is how you should stand firm in the 00:12:39.059 --> 00:12:42.200 Lord, dear friends. Would you circle the word 00:12:42.200 --> 00:12:46.980 in your notes? Love, long for, joy, crown. And 00:12:46.980 --> 00:12:50.559 would you put a box around stand firm? He's saying, 00:12:50.620 --> 00:12:54.779 we have this hope. We have this peace. God so 00:12:54.779 --> 00:12:57.679 loves us. He wants us to walk this out together. 00:12:57.940 --> 00:13:00.559 So I love you and I care for you. And what I'm 00:13:00.559 --> 00:13:03.600 about to say, I'm not down on anyone. But when 00:13:03.600 --> 00:13:06.100 you don't experience corporately or individually 00:13:06.100 --> 00:13:08.600 the peace that God has already granted, it breaks 00:13:08.600 --> 00:13:10.879 my heart as sort of the spirit. And it says the 00:13:10.879 --> 00:13:13.019 way you stand firm is you know where you're going 00:13:13.019 --> 00:13:15.179 and you have this hope. And now he's going to 00:13:15.179 --> 00:13:17.840 have a request or literally a plea of two ladies 00:13:17.840 --> 00:13:20.379 that are not getting along. I plead with you, 00:13:20.399 --> 00:13:23.159 Euodia, and I plead with you, Syntyche, to agree 00:13:23.159 --> 00:13:26.179 with each other in the Lord. Circle the word 00:13:26.179 --> 00:13:28.799 to agree. It's a very interesting Greek word. 00:13:28.879 --> 00:13:31.059 It means to be of the same mind, to think the 00:13:31.059 --> 00:13:34.500 same thoughts. What we know we're going to learn 00:13:34.500 --> 00:13:37.720 is both these are really good women. This isn't 00:13:37.720 --> 00:13:40.460 a good person and a bad person. That's what we 00:13:40.460 --> 00:13:42.899 know from this context. It's not a moral issue. 00:13:42.980 --> 00:13:47.820 It's not a doctrinal issue. But we have two powerhouse 00:13:47.820 --> 00:13:50.519 people in this local church who've been greatly 00:13:50.519 --> 00:13:53.220 used of God and something's happened that they 00:13:53.220 --> 00:13:55.840 are not getting along. And when key people in 00:13:55.840 --> 00:13:58.139 a small group, key people in a house called a 00:13:58.139 --> 00:14:00.519 mom or a dad, two roommates, whatever it is, 00:14:00.559 --> 00:14:02.019 when you don't get along with someone, what's 00:14:02.019 --> 00:14:06.519 it do? It affects other people. So he has a plea 00:14:06.519 --> 00:14:10.139 in verse 3. He says, yes, and I ask you, loyal 00:14:10.139 --> 00:14:14.080 yoke fellow, help these women. Would you circle 00:14:14.080 --> 00:14:17.600 the word help? Sometimes in relational conflict, 00:14:17.820 --> 00:14:19.980 no matter what you do, it doesn't get better. 00:14:20.039 --> 00:14:23.870 You need help. And then who are these women? 00:14:24.029 --> 00:14:27.090 These women who have contended at my side in 00:14:27.090 --> 00:14:29.289 the cause of the gospel along with Clement and 00:14:29.289 --> 00:14:31.529 the rest of my fellow workers and whose names 00:14:31.529 --> 00:14:34.230 are in the book of life. We learn two things 00:14:34.230 --> 00:14:36.490 about these women. One, they've contended. I 00:14:36.490 --> 00:14:38.549 mean, he's saying, I mean, my right hand, my 00:14:38.549 --> 00:14:41.429 left hand, these are women that prayed and fasted 00:14:41.429 --> 00:14:43.690 and gave and we were in the midst of persecution 00:14:43.690 --> 00:14:46.129 and that little church got birthed and man, I 00:14:46.129 --> 00:14:49.110 love them both and they're great people. There's 00:14:49.110 --> 00:14:53.000 no bad person here. In fact, I'm absolutely certain 00:14:53.000 --> 00:14:55.740 their names are written in the book of life. 00:14:56.500 --> 00:15:00.139 So, but they can't get along. The phrase here, 00:15:00.259 --> 00:15:02.879 loyal yoke fellow is actually a proper name, 00:15:03.139 --> 00:15:07.700 susages. But since no one can pronounce it, including 00:15:07.700 --> 00:15:11.399 me, many translators take the meaning of the 00:15:11.399 --> 00:15:14.759 name, which is a loyal yoke fellow. And the word 00:15:14.759 --> 00:15:17.460 literally means someone that, you know, can take 00:15:17.460 --> 00:15:22.590 like two oxen and have them. be in harmony, and 00:15:22.590 --> 00:15:25.570 walk together. And what he's saying is, hey, 00:15:25.649 --> 00:15:27.649 we've got a problem. We've got a problem in our 00:15:27.649 --> 00:15:29.029 small group. We've got a problem in our church. 00:15:29.149 --> 00:15:31.169 We've got a problem in our family. These people 00:15:31.169 --> 00:15:33.570 are at each other. They have resentment. They 00:15:33.570 --> 00:15:37.169 have hurt. It's affecting the church. I'm asking 00:15:37.169 --> 00:15:39.549 someone competent, can you sit down with them, 00:15:39.690 --> 00:15:42.529 probably someone with a gift of exhortation and 00:15:42.529 --> 00:15:44.960 a wise counselor, and can you help them? And 00:15:44.960 --> 00:15:46.960 then in verse four, he gives a command concerning 00:15:46.960 --> 00:15:49.159 the relational focus. Because when there's conflict, 00:15:49.279 --> 00:15:50.419 what do you do? Who do you think about all the 00:15:50.419 --> 00:15:52.879 time? You think about this person, right? You're 00:15:52.879 --> 00:15:54.899 driving in your car and you have anger fantasies. 00:15:55.639 --> 00:15:57.720 You know, she did that. She did that. You replay 00:15:57.720 --> 00:15:59.720 it in your mind. She said that. He did that. 00:15:59.759 --> 00:16:02.220 I can't believe that. You know, he thinks as 00:16:02.220 --> 00:16:05.539 a supervisor, he couldn't code worth a, you know, 00:16:05.539 --> 00:16:07.399 and then he said that about me. That's unbelievable. 00:16:07.500 --> 00:16:11.610 And, you know, what's she thinking? I mean. Her 00:16:11.610 --> 00:16:13.830 in -laws, every time they come, she's depressed 00:16:13.830 --> 00:16:16.110 for three weeks afterwards. It's not a good idea. 00:16:16.350 --> 00:16:19.309 You know, gosh, yeah, right, okay, I bring up 00:16:19.309 --> 00:16:21.250 one more time, we don't have sex as often as 00:16:21.250 --> 00:16:23.370 I would like, and, you know, she blows up, and 00:16:23.370 --> 00:16:27.450 have I hit enough people yet? Is this real stuff? 00:16:27.929 --> 00:16:33.860 This is real stuff. It's how life works. And 00:16:33.860 --> 00:16:37.139 so what you do is you get fixated. And you might 00:16:37.139 --> 00:16:39.659 have 90 % of your relationship with this person 00:16:39.659 --> 00:16:42.840 is good, but man, once you get fixated on this, 00:16:43.139 --> 00:16:46.519 then you know what? They go from being a disagreement 00:16:46.519 --> 00:16:51.179 to a bad person. You demonize them. You know 00:16:51.179 --> 00:16:53.039 that kind of, you know that supervisor? I remember 00:16:53.039 --> 00:16:55.000 10 years ago, he made another mistake. I think 00:16:55.000 --> 00:16:56.539 this whole company's in trouble because of that 00:16:56.539 --> 00:16:59.059 guy, and he's my boss, right? She said that, 00:16:59.120 --> 00:17:00.960 you know, she grew up that way. I remember, and 00:17:00.960 --> 00:17:04.920 all of a sudden, You take all the dots of your 00:17:04.920 --> 00:17:08.220 relational hurt and you rearrange them and they're 00:17:08.220 --> 00:17:12.599 the bad person and you're like me. It's 5 % our 00:17:12.599 --> 00:17:16.920 fault, 95 % their fault. And then you harden 00:17:16.920 --> 00:17:21.220 your heart. And so here's the command. It's a 00:17:21.220 --> 00:17:24.059 command, by the way. Rejoice in the Lord. And 00:17:24.059 --> 00:17:25.819 again, I'll say rejoice. You know what he's saying? 00:17:25.960 --> 00:17:29.940 Get vertical. Get off of them and the problem. 00:17:30.099 --> 00:17:32.059 He's saying this one not only to the two ladies, 00:17:32.119 --> 00:17:33.940 but to the whole church. Because when there's 00:17:33.940 --> 00:17:37.460 a fight, what do we do? I'm on Euodia's side. 00:17:38.539 --> 00:17:41.799 I'm on Synecdoche's side. In a family, even the 00:17:41.799 --> 00:17:44.720 kids. Mom, dad, mom. Gosh, well, I guess, you 00:17:44.720 --> 00:17:49.220 know, right? In a small group at work. Because 00:17:49.220 --> 00:17:51.019 the one thing we don't do is we often don't obey 00:17:51.019 --> 00:17:52.799 Scripture, and we have a problem with the person. 00:17:52.859 --> 00:17:55.500 What we do is we find two or three people that 00:17:55.500 --> 00:17:58.049 usually agree with us. And just go to a coffee 00:17:58.049 --> 00:18:00.049 shop sometime and act like you have earphones 00:18:00.049 --> 00:18:03.470 on. And just listen to everybody. Just listen 00:18:03.470 --> 00:18:04.809 to everybody. It's really fun, to tell you the 00:18:04.809 --> 00:18:09.069 truth. And 80 % of the conversations, well, I 00:18:09.069 --> 00:18:10.730 don't know what he's thinking. You know, he plays 00:18:10.730 --> 00:18:12.809 golf three times a week, and he expects me to 00:18:12.809 --> 00:18:13.970 take care of the kids, and blah, blah, blah. 00:18:14.130 --> 00:18:16.329 You know, my supervisor, I think he's on drugs, 00:18:16.410 --> 00:18:20.150 you know. Right? People are talking about someone 00:18:20.150 --> 00:18:25.089 else. And what's it do? Gasoline on the fire. 00:18:28.720 --> 00:18:31.180 This is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, 00:18:31.200 --> 00:18:33.279 and you've been listening to part one of Chip's 00:18:33.279 --> 00:18:35.920 message in relational conflict from our series, 00:18:36.059 --> 00:18:39.039 I Choose Peace. Chip will be back shortly to 00:18:39.039 --> 00:18:41.279 share some helpful application for us to think 00:18:41.279 --> 00:18:43.960 about. What's weighing on your mind right now? 00:18:44.119 --> 00:18:46.380 Financial uncertainty? A tense relationship? 00:18:46.759 --> 00:18:50.089 Or is it just the grind of everyday life? Whatever 00:18:50.089 --> 00:18:52.529 it is that's robbing you of your peace, let me 00:18:52.529 --> 00:18:55.529 tell you there's an antidote. Through this practical 00:18:55.529 --> 00:18:58.390 study in Philippians chapter 4, Chip will teach 00:18:58.390 --> 00:19:00.990 us how to access the peace of God, which can 00:19:00.990 --> 00:19:04.150 restore, calm, and encourage your soul, no matter 00:19:04.150 --> 00:19:06.529 what may be happening around you. You're not 00:19:06.529 --> 00:19:08.430 going to want to miss a single program of this 00:19:08.430 --> 00:19:11.140 series. Well, Chip's joined me in studio now. 00:19:11.220 --> 00:19:13.380 And Chip, today you began the final leg of your 00:19:13.380 --> 00:19:15.440 study through the book of Philippians, focusing 00:19:15.440 --> 00:19:18.140 in on chapter four. So take a minute, if you 00:19:18.140 --> 00:19:20.279 would, and share why this teaching is so relevant 00:19:20.279 --> 00:19:24.319 and really needed right now. Well, Dave, it almost 00:19:24.319 --> 00:19:27.420 goes without saying, you think of what's happening 00:19:27.420 --> 00:19:30.259 culturally in America, and whether that's racial 00:19:30.259 --> 00:19:33.240 issues or political issues. Right. If you just 00:19:33.240 --> 00:19:35.920 think of the financial pressure that people are 00:19:35.920 --> 00:19:38.839 living in and all the changes that have occurred, 00:19:39.039 --> 00:19:42.220 if there is one thing I think people are desperate 00:19:42.220 --> 00:19:45.759 for is peace. Peace in their heart, peace in 00:19:45.759 --> 00:19:49.839 their marriage, peace at work, peace in the government. 00:19:50.259 --> 00:19:53.119 And we try lots of things when we don't have 00:19:53.119 --> 00:19:56.319 peace to either medicate it or avoid it or do 00:19:56.319 --> 00:20:00.119 something to bring us some level of calm. And 00:20:00.119 --> 00:20:02.660 this series is going to talk about four or five 00:20:02.660 --> 00:20:06.799 specific things that challenge our peace. Things 00:20:06.799 --> 00:20:09.279 like relationships, difficult circumstances, 00:20:09.599 --> 00:20:13.359 worry, etc. I am so excited that we can open 00:20:13.359 --> 00:20:17.579 God's Word and know this is how you choose peace. 00:20:18.079 --> 00:20:22.700 Jesus said, my peace I give to you. It's a gift. 00:20:22.859 --> 00:20:25.819 It's something that we can choose. It's something 00:20:25.819 --> 00:20:28.339 that we can access regardless of the circumstance, 00:20:28.779 --> 00:20:31.440 the relationship, or the problems in your life. 00:20:31.640 --> 00:20:33.700 I think this is a series that's really going 00:20:33.700 --> 00:20:35.809 to help you. That's right, Chip. And to help 00:20:35.809 --> 00:20:37.589 all of you get the most out of this teaching, 00:20:37.710 --> 00:20:40.509 download Chip's message notes. They include his 00:20:40.509 --> 00:20:43.089 outline, the scripture he references, and key 00:20:43.089 --> 00:20:45.109 fill -ins to help you remember what you hear. 00:20:45.329 --> 00:20:48.910 Get them by going to the broadcasts tab at livingontheedge 00:20:48.910 --> 00:20:53.009 .org, app listeners tap fill -in notes. We'll 00:20:53.009 --> 00:20:55.029 hear again as Chip to share a few final thoughts. 00:20:55.589 --> 00:20:58.990 As we close today's program, I can't help but 00:20:58.990 --> 00:21:02.309 believe that many of you have had a person come 00:21:02.309 --> 00:21:04.829 to your mind. You know, I've talked about relational 00:21:04.829 --> 00:21:06.869 conflict. And, you know, for some of you, it's 00:21:06.869 --> 00:21:09.049 your marriage. For some, it's a roommate. For 00:21:09.049 --> 00:21:11.450 others, it's one of your kids or especially maybe 00:21:11.450 --> 00:21:14.170 one of your grown kids. For other people, it's 00:21:14.170 --> 00:21:17.549 like, gosh, that person at work or, you know, 00:21:17.609 --> 00:21:19.450 if you've been next to this neighbor or your 00:21:19.450 --> 00:21:22.309 person in the apartment complex, there's so many 00:21:22.309 --> 00:21:25.910 opportunities that even as I brought up all these 00:21:25.910 --> 00:21:28.950 issues about relational conflict that can pop 00:21:28.950 --> 00:21:31.549 into your mind. And then there's one that I think 00:21:31.549 --> 00:21:34.349 really gets us as Christians. It's that person 00:21:34.349 --> 00:21:36.470 in your Bible study or the person you see at 00:21:36.470 --> 00:21:38.849 church or even one of those Sunday school classes, 00:21:38.890 --> 00:21:42.369 and you feel so bad and so guilty about it, and 00:21:42.369 --> 00:21:45.400 it just makes you so frustrated because... Christians 00:21:45.400 --> 00:21:48.099 are supposed to get along. I mean, you have this 00:21:48.099 --> 00:21:51.400 unconscious belief or expectation that they're 00:21:51.400 --> 00:21:54.440 a Christian. Why don't they act like one? And 00:21:54.440 --> 00:21:56.559 then you feel guilty about some of the thoughts 00:21:56.559 --> 00:21:59.759 and feelings and attitudes and bitterness and 00:21:59.759 --> 00:22:02.619 resentment. And I think this passage is really 00:22:02.619 --> 00:22:06.009 helpful. Because what if? Now, don't get me wrong. 00:22:06.250 --> 00:22:09.009 There's Christians that do really mean bad, terrible 00:22:09.009 --> 00:22:11.730 things. I'm with you. I am one of those Christians 00:22:11.730 --> 00:22:13.990 that I actually have done some of those things 00:22:13.990 --> 00:22:17.009 on bad days when Chip is in control instead of 00:22:17.009 --> 00:22:20.369 the Holy Spirit. But all conflict isn't because 00:22:20.369 --> 00:22:23.690 someone's bad. I love this passage where the 00:22:23.690 --> 00:22:27.329 Apostle Paul introduces these two women. He describes 00:22:27.329 --> 00:22:30.930 them both really as women who love God, serving 00:22:30.930 --> 00:22:34.220 the church, really care. And yet they have bad 00:22:34.220 --> 00:22:37.160 chemistry. They have bad personalities. They 00:22:37.160 --> 00:22:40.119 look at things differently. I'm mindful of that 00:22:40.119 --> 00:22:43.460 passage where the Apostle Paul and Barnabas have 00:22:43.460 --> 00:22:45.960 such a sharp conflict that they have to part 00:22:45.960 --> 00:22:48.819 ways. And as you read it carefully, I don't think 00:22:48.819 --> 00:22:51.799 there's a bad or wrong person. Paul's thinking 00:22:51.799 --> 00:22:54.420 of his responsibility, the big picture, the mission. 00:22:54.940 --> 00:22:56.880 Barnabas is gifted differently. He's thinking 00:22:56.880 --> 00:22:59.460 about the concerns for an individual. John Mark, 00:22:59.640 --> 00:23:02.220 someone needs to help him. Both those things 00:23:02.220 --> 00:23:05.660 are true. Here's what I want to tell you. What 00:23:05.660 --> 00:23:09.140 if instead of blaming this person, having resentment, 00:23:09.279 --> 00:23:13.500 you had some specific ways, a very specific game 00:23:13.500 --> 00:23:16.779 plan to bring about resolution to this conflict? 00:23:16.900 --> 00:23:19.019 Part of it might be something that happens in 00:23:19.019 --> 00:23:21.420 you. Part of it might be something that you could 00:23:21.420 --> 00:23:24.000 think a bit differently. And part of it could 00:23:24.000 --> 00:23:26.920 be what you actually do with this other person. 00:23:27.660 --> 00:23:29.700 In our next broadcast, I'm going to give you 00:23:29.700 --> 00:23:33.799 five specific ways to resolve conflict. They're 00:23:33.799 --> 00:23:36.420 biblical, they're effective, and they actually 00:23:36.420 --> 00:23:39.680 work. Until then, I want you to just pray for 00:23:39.680 --> 00:23:41.619 that person. I want you to pray that God will 00:23:41.619 --> 00:23:44.339 bless him, God will encourage him, and I want 00:23:44.339 --> 00:23:46.460 you to pray, God, if there's anything that you 00:23:46.460 --> 00:23:50.200 want to show me, show me. And as you own your 00:23:50.200 --> 00:23:53.559 stuff, I guarantee God's going to work. That's 00:23:53.559 --> 00:23:56.180 a great challenge, Chip. Thanks. As we close, 00:23:56.359 --> 00:23:58.400 I want to thank each of you who makes this program 00:23:58.400 --> 00:24:01.579 possible through your generous giving. 100 % 00:24:01.579 --> 00:24:03.980 of your gifts go directly to the ministry to 00:24:03.980 --> 00:24:06.759 help Christians live like Christians. Now, if 00:24:06.759 --> 00:24:08.759 you found this teaching helpful, but aren't yet 00:24:08.759 --> 00:24:11.519 on the team, consider doing that today. Sending 00:24:11.519 --> 00:24:15.299 a gift is easy. Go to livingontheedge .org. Or 00:24:15.299 --> 00:24:20.279 call us at 888 -333 -6003. Again, that's 888 00:24:20.279 --> 00:24:26.480 -333 -6003. Or visit livingontheedge .org. App 00:24:26.480 --> 00:24:28.920 listeners, tap Donate. And let me thank you in 00:24:28.920 --> 00:24:30.940 advance for doing whatever the Lord leads you 00:24:30.940 --> 00:24:33.660 to do. You've been listening to a selected program 00:24:33.660 --> 00:24:35.980 that we wanted to share from this past week. 00:24:36.160 --> 00:24:38.900 To hear more from Chip's series, I Choose Peace, 00:24:39.180 --> 00:24:42.680 go to livingontheedge .org or the Chip Ingram 00:24:42.680 --> 00:24:45.880 app. Until next time, I'm Dave Drewy saying thanks 00:24:45.880 --> 00:24:48.460 for listening to this weekend edition of Living 00:24:48.460 --> 00:24:49.279 on the Edge.