you like to become a more loving person? I don't
mean just trying harder to act more loving, but
actually become from the inside out a person
that just flat out loves people better and more
deeply. Well, if so, stick around. That's today.
Thank you for being with us for this weekend
edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram.
Chip serves as our Bible teacher for this global
teaching and discipleship ministry helping Christians
develop an authentic faith. Well, a few days
ago, we kicked off our series, I Choose Love,
How to Build Lasting Relationships. Today, we're
highlighting a message from this past week where
Chip revealed essential practices to becoming
a more loving person. But before we begin, let
me encourage you to use Chip's message notes
while you listen. They'll help you get the most
out of what you're about to hear. Download them
under the broadcasts tab at livingontheedge .org.
App listeners tap fill in notes. Okay, let's
settle in now for the second half of Chip's talk,
Love Gives, from Philippians chapter 2. How to
become a more loving person. Choose to declare
war on, write the word, selfishness. Choose,
declare war on. selfishness. And as usual, when
I go high -tech here, my iPad is not working,
so I think I'll go with a little bit less technical
one that you all have. Turn to Philippians chapter
2, if you're not already there, and let me read
for you this command. Philippians chapter 2,
we've looked at verses 1 and 2. Follow along
here in chapter 2 as we read verse 3 and 4. Do
nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but
in humility of mind consider others more important
than yourself. Verse 4, let each of you look
not only on your own interest, but also on the
interest of others. You may be looking at this
and saying, declare war? Aren't you getting a
little radical here? No, no. We're born with
this innate ability to be selfish. In fact, let
me define selfish ambition here. Four words.
I want my way. That's selfish ambition. I want
my way. You might jot down, it's a me first mentality.
I want to be first in line. I want the best spot.
I want to get on the plane first. That's one
of mine. I want to get to work first. When I
go through the buffet, I want the best piece
of meat. I want the best promotion. It's me first.
I want my needs met in this marriage. I want
my mom and dad to come through for me. I want
my professor to give me what I want when I want
it. It's a me first mentality. I want to be number
one. I'm selfish. Now, it's very unpopular to
admit that. But what is hard to see in ourselves,
isn't it easy to see in others? I mean, you get
out on the freeway, are people selfish or what?
I mean, this isn't like out there somewhere either.
Anybody here tried to get out of the parking
lot here? You know, especially 11 o 'clock service?
Now, there are some people, you know, very Christian,
wave you in. And there's some of you that are
still working on it. Let me put it that way.
But we're selfish. But you don't slide out of
being selfish. Even though the living spirit
of Christ lives inside of you and you're born
again and you're part of the kingdom of God,
there's this battle. Galatians talks about the
spirit wages war against the flesh. This predisposition
toward my way, my stuff is rooted in your heart,
and you'll have it until the day you die. But
the Spirit of God can give you the ability to,
in humility, look at the second half of that
text. In humility, consider others as more important
than yourself. Humility can be a very misunderstood
word. So I came across a very, very interesting
article. I think of humility as not thinking
too highly of yourself, not thinking too lowly
of yourself, but having an accurate, sober self
-assessment. As one person said, humility is
not thinking less of yourself. Humility is just
thinking less about yourself. Beating yourself
up, I'm a terrible person, that's not humility,
that's not accurate. It's just not letting you,
it's me not letting me be the thing and the person
I think about all the time. They're doing science
now on the benefits of virtues, things like forgiveness.
They've done lots of research on gratitude. You
may have read some of that. This is an article
by a professor at George Fox University. It's
called The Science of Humility. It says, researchers
have developed scales to measure intellectual
humility, relational humility, cultural humility,
and some are now working on spiritual humility
as well. As with forgiveness and gratitude, humility
fosters, now listen, this is what humility delivers.
Are you ready for this? Humility fosters physical
and mental and relational health. Humble people
are more grateful and forgiving, so they enjoy
the benefits of those virtues. Also, humble people
are more generous and helpful to others. Hey,
this is a good one. They have better romantic
relationships. For some of you, get humble right
away, okay? They have better romantic relationships,
have less anxiety about death, and experience
less spiritual struggle. Those parents who are
concerned about your kids, People that are humble
perform better at school, show more compassion
to others, and even have better self -esteem
than less humble people. So in other words, they're
doing scientific research. And what God has commanded,
what delights our Father, and what Christ modeled
amazingly, is the genuine humility. Not putting
yourself first, but actually considering the
needs of others. It's what we call around here,
and you'll learn more about in this series. It's
the I am second mentality. I mean, it just goes
completely against everything. I am second as
I go through the line. I am second as I drive
on the freeway. I am second when I think about
my rights in my marriage. I am second when I
think about the needs with my roommate. I am
second when we're trying to divide something
and see who gets the bigger piece. The article
goes on. and says that humility, this is very
important, does not require self -loathing or
self -belittling, but it calls for us to dial
back our normal tendency, are you ready for this,
to overestimate our abilities and behaviors.
Now, I never do that, and you never do that,
but there's some people out there that overestimate
their abilities and their behaviors, and you
know I'm teasing. I love it. He goes, there's
three characteristics of people that are genuinely
humble. Number one, They have a reasonably accurate
view of themselves, neither too high or neither
too low, pretty biblical. Number two is they
care more deeply or have a concern and notice
other people. And then number three is humble
people are teachable. So genuine humility is
rooted in some characteristics, and according
to the scientific study, which actually is pretty
biblical, whether they know it or not, is that
they have a pretty accurate view of themselves.
In other words, I'm not the center of the world.
Are you ready? I'm not the smartest person. in
the room. My opinions aren't always the best.
My perspective of what we ought to do or my decision
isn't necessarily better than others. But it
doesn't mean that I don't have good thoughts
and my decisions and my perspective can be very
valid. So they don't think too high. They don't
think too low. The second one is they really
consider the thoughts, the interests, and the
feelings of others. Humble people are sensitive.
Humble people notice the person that when everyone
gets out and walks out of here, humble people
see the people that no one said hi to. Humble
people notice the needs of other people. Genuinely
humble people, I'm always amazed that, you know,
maybe I'll have a passing conversation with someone
and like a week later, two weeks later, like
get a note or get something in the mail. I was
meeting with someone a long time ago and they
watched me fiddle with trying to recharge. You
know, you got all these rechargers and all this
different stuff. Out of the blue, a week later,
I get a package. There's no name. There's no
note. There's no anything. I don't know what
it is. I open the package, and it's one of these
bars that has one, two, three, four, five, where
you can hook in your phone, everything else with
a plug, and you plug the thing in. I use it every
day. Humility. Someone didn't say a word, saw
I had a need, and addressed the need. And third,
and I think this is big, they're teachable. They
realize that they're on the journey too. How
humble are you? For some of your personalities,
I just want to say, please, please don't go to,
oh, I came to church today. I'm a terrible person.
Everything he's talking about, that's me. I'm
an arrogant, terrible person. You know what?
Guess where your focus is at this moment? It's
on you. At the heart of not being humble, is
not thinking lowly of yourself, belittling yourself,
condemning yourself. In fact, the second way
to become more loving is attack the root of the
problem. And then I want you to write in the
word pride. Attack the root of the problem. You're
listening to Living on the Edge. return you to
Chip's message in just a minute. But first, let
me tell you, God is doing incredible work through
this ministry all around the world. And if you'd
like to join us, consider partnering with us
during our mid -year match. Every gift we receive
until midnight on June 30th will be doubled dollar
for dollar. Join us today by going to livingontheedge
.org or call 888 -333 -6003. We appreciate your
generosity. Well, with that, here again is Chip.
If you will, right underneath where you see verse
3, circle the world empty conceit. Do nothing
from selfish ambition or empty conceit. Selfish
ambition, selfishness is what we do. The root
of the problem is why we do it. That's empty
conceit. Or I love, write this word down. I love
this phrase. It's an old, old, old version of
King James. Vain glory, empty glory. You say,
well, what's vain glory? What's empty conceit?
Well, a good street name is pride, but that's
sort of, it's kind of a big word. Let me give
you some very specific pictures of empty conceit.
Empty conceit is I'm better. I'm more important.
I'm superior. I'm more intelligent. My time matters
more than yours. My life matters more than you.
I have greater value. I have greater worth. Now,
you may not say that outside in your head, but
our behavior, our behavior just screams vainglory.
I like the way I said that, glory, right? It's
this, I'm the center of the world, and I can
clothe it with all kind of Bible verses, and
I can actually, in a Christian way, do image
management to try and project I'm humble, which
is the empty conceit. The idea is I want everyone
to have this amazing opinion of me that I either
want for myself, Or I actually think I have.
I made a list because this got very convicting
and I thought, oh boy. I made a list of some
ways that when this happens in me, okay? This
isn't you, this is me. When these things happen
in me, what I know is vain glory, empty conceit,
pride is raising its ugly head. And then I'm
gonna talk to you about how to go into training.
And did you notice the violent words I've used?
Declare war! Attack! In other words, you've got
to get to the root of the problem. This isn't
about, I think I'm going to try and be more loving
and I'll tell someone I forgive. No, this is
heart stuff, root stuff. This is stuff that's
so deeply in your psyche and in your soul and
mind that you have to declare war. I refuse in
light of what God's done for me to be a selfish
person. I'm going to attack the root problem.
And the root problem is in my thinking. I become
the center of things even subtly because in my
thinking, I think I'm better or I want to project
that I'm better. In my thinking, my time and
my money and what I do is more important. It's
lethal. It destroys relationships. It's unloving.
And so when these things happen in my life, what
I know is pride. Defensiveness. Someone makes
a comment to me immediately. It could be my wife.
It can be in a meeting. It could be one of my
kids. It can be someone I don't know very much.
They say something. We're talking about something.
And I hear myself. I'm defensive. Well, why?
Because I've got to guard. I've got to prove.
I've got to protect. Whatever they've said, that
sort of hit a button inside. Second, making excuses.
It's my pride. I didn't do it wrong. I didn't
mess up. It was them. It was late. It was the
traffic. If they would have done this on time,
I would have had it on time. It's you name it.
In fact, related to that one is when I hear myself
blaming other people, I know that's pride. In
other words, don't look at me and think it's
my fault. See, humility, you know what humility
does? And it actually gains. It actually gains.
the credibility of people. When you actually
make a mistake, when you're actually late, when
you really blow it, when you don't come through,
it's amazing what happens when you say, you know,
hey, I hope you all will, I just apologize. That
was a deadline. I didn't hit it. I could give
you a number of reasons. None of them really
measure up other than I didn't use my time wisely.
I went down some bad paths in terms of how to
solve this problem. I'd like to ask you guys
to forgive me. You know what normally happens?
Everyone in the room knows they do that too.
But so often we blame, we make excuses. I was
perpetually late for almost everything for years.
You know, the guy that's dashing onto the plane
in the old years before, you know, there was
all that security or the person who's rushing
in and running out of the parking lot and coming
in two minutes late or five minutes late. I was
late, late, late, late, late. And I tried hard
and it really bugged my wife. And then I had
a breakthrough. My problem was not being late.
My problem wasn't self -will. My problem wasn't
discipline. My problem was grandiosity. And when
I saw that it was so ugly, I changed. Some of
you are saying, so what exactly is grandiosity?
Grandiosity is thinking whatever you're doing
is so important. And if I can say this kindly,
We come here on a weekend to adore and give our
very best to the creator of the universe and
the savior that died upon a cross to pay for
our sin and rose from the dead and has given
us eternal life. The grandiosity to come in 5,
10, 15, 20 minutes late. The grandiosity. of
during a song or during this time when I'm teaching
the very word of God, you checking your email
and having your phone open is arrogance. And
so notice point number three is choose to practice
humility daily by putting others' needs and interests
ahead of your own. Don't consider just your own
interests, although the passage is clear, take
them into account. But consider the interests
of others as more important than your own. What
would happen? What would happen if we declared
war on selfishness? If we said, I'm going to
attack the root of this problem, which is really
my own pride, this empty conceit, this vainglory.
And then this week, I'm going to go into training.
And I'm going to choose very specifically in
little, little things that will grow into bigger
and bigger things. I'm going to choose in my
money to be generous. I'm going to choose in
my time to be generous. And we'll talk about
exactly how very specifically to put that in
practice. Ask yourself, where does my money go?
Loving toward God and others or me? Where does
my time go? Toward God and others or me? Where
does my energy go? Father, I pray now. As there
are many, many, many relationships that are fractured
and it will require only one person to admit
at the heart of it, regardless of the other person,
that pride and selfishness and arrogance is at
the core and a repentance before you. And then
the next steps of asking forgiveness and restitution
and even reconciliation in some cases where it's
possible. So Lord, would you bring to mind in
this room, The people that need to get a call,
a lunch, a coffee, a text, a letter, a note of
apology so that we could love others the way
you've loved us. Before we do anything else in
this broadcast, I want to pause. I just prayed.
And now I want to talk to you very honestly and
sincerely about your life. The fact of the matter
is that you need to ask and I need to ask, so
where does your money go? And what actions really
indicate that you love God and you love other
people? I mean, where does your time go? And
this is not about me in any way seeking to poke
around or make you feel guilty. This is about
you and me as brother and sisters in Christ coming
before the throne of God and saying, love isn't
just a feeling. Love chooses to serve. It chooses
to give. It chooses to get out of our comfort
zone. It's the platinum rule. Love says, this
is what God has done in us. And something inside
of us, the Spirit of the living God, compels
us to release our time and our money and our
energy to meet the needs of other people. And
so I'd like you, you know, if you're driving,
don't do this. But if you're not driving, would
you just open your palms upward and say, Lord,
it's your money, it's your time, it's your gifts,
it's your talents. Would you bring to my mind
just today? Who could I extend money and time
and energy and love to? And Lord, would you help
me see first and foremost under the roof where
I live, my roommate or my husband, my wife, my
kids, would you help me to be an other -centered
follower of Jesus? And then watch how the Spirit
of God will work in you and through you. Great
word, Chip. Well, if you've been inspired to
deepen your relationship with God, we'd love
to support you. Go to truespiritualityonline
.org and check out our resources. You can order
Chip's popular book, True Spirituality, get the
small group, or watch countless helpful videos.
All these tools were designed to show you the
clear path to becoming a genuine follower of
Christ. So check them out today. That website
again is truespiritualityonline .org. Well, before
we go, Chip's still with me in studio to pass
along a really encouraging testimony. Thanks
so much, Dave. I'd like to share a story of a
fellow pastor in India. His name is Pastor Mustafa.
And I have to say it is the... absolute saddest
story I think I've ever heard. He lives in a
very rural area. He has the disability of one
leg, so he walks with a limp and a cane. He has
a family and a couple kids. And he went through,
I mean, a dark, dark, dark time. He came to the
point where he was so desperate, the persecution
was so bad, that he and his wife and his kids
literally were planning and making a pact that
said, we're going to do a mass suicide. I mean,
that sounds terrible, but I can tell you, I've
pastored for 40 years, some of the most godly
people I've ever met. If things get so bad and
they lose perspective, you can do things that
you think would be unimaginable. In the midst
of that time, a fellow pastor said, you need
to read this and come to this event. It's called
The Art of Survival. He went to that, and God
spoke to him. He said, I'm going to consider
it all joy. I'm going to... hang on to God's
wisdom. And I refused to give up. And God infused
him. And as a result, he shared that with his
church. And the ripples go on and on and on.
When you support Living on the Edge, and when
you pray, you're helping us help under -resourced
pastors, often in rural areas, all throughout
India, Nepal, places in China, Africa, Latin
America. We have teams in these places around
the world, and pastors like Mustafa, unfortunately,
are not the exception. Pastors are hurting. God
is allowing us at Living on the Edge to stand
in the gap, to meet them where they're at, and
see God give them life. Here's my question. Would
you join us? Incredible story, Chip. So if God
is nudging you to encourage and support pastors
with us, now's a great time to become a financial
partner. From now until June 30th, every gift
we receive will be matched dollar for dollar.
So to be part of our mid -year match, call us
at 888 -333 -6003 or go to Living on the Edge.
That's livingontheedge .org or call 888 -333
-6003. App listeners, tap donate. As we close,
you know a great way to get plugged in with our
resources here at Living on the Edge is through
the Chip Ingram app. You can listen to past series,
sign up for daily discipleship and more. Let
us help you experience God in a new personal
way starting today with the Chip Ingram app.
You've been listening to a selected program that
we wanted to share from this past week. To hear
more from Chip's series, I Choose Love, go to
livingontheedge .org or the Chip Ingram app.
Until next time, I'm Dave Drewy saying thanks
for listening to this weekend edition of Living
on the Edge.