Today on Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram.
Is there someone in your life that has hurt you
or someone that you love and you just can't get
past it? I mean, when you're honest, you're bitter,
you're resentful, and you just don't know how
to get unstuck? If so, today's the day. Hang
with me. You're going to get answers to that
issue. Welcome to Living on the Edge with Chip
Ingram. Today, Chip takes us to two of the most
demanding passages in all of Scripture. First,
to Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount, where he
commands us to love our enemies and pray for
those who persecute us. And then to the Apostle
Paul in Romans chapter 12, where that command
gets spelled out in the most practical, specific
terms imaginable. It's a challenging but liberating
message titled, How to Overcome the Evil Aimed
at You. And it's part of our series, God's Dream
for Your Life. Well, as we get started, I want
to ask you to go to a place that you may not
really want to go, but I'll tell you in advance,
it'll be worth it. I'd like you to lean back
just a little bit, be reflective, and I want
you to answer this question in your mind. Feel
free to even close your eyes for just a moment
if it's helpful. Of all the people in your life
to date that you would say have hurt you the
most, Who comes to your mind? Who's wounded you?
Who sexually or physically abused you when you
were younger? Who's been ungrateful and humiliated
you? Who's betrayed you? Have you got it? I want
you to follow along and I want to read to you
what I think are the most radical words that
have ever come out of any person's mouth. that
has walked on the earth. They're familiar to
some of you, which is unfortunate because they
lose their power. Matthew chapter 5 in the Sermon
on the Mount, you have heard it said, love your
neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you,
love your enemies and pray for those who persecute
you. What's it look like practically to love
your enemies? Open your Bibles, if you will,
to Romans chapter 12. He begins to clearly tell
us how to respond to the evil aimed at us in
verse 14. In verses 14 to 16, he's going to give
us a positive command. This is how you respond
to that person that came to your mind that I
started this message with and asked you to think
about. And he's going to say, here's how you
respond to that person. Now, I'm going to warn
you, it's going to sound ridiculous and impossible.
Bless those who persecute you. Bless and do not
curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn
with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one
another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate
with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
He's going to say, you need to bless them, and
that's how. Then he gives a negative command.
The temptation when our enemies and people have
hurt us, there's a temptation. and he's going
to hit it right between our eyes. Verse 17, do
not repay evil for evil. Be careful to do what
is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible,
as far as it depends on you, live or be at peace
with all men. Do not take revenge, my friends,
but leave room for God's wrath, for it's written,
it is mine to avenge, I will repay, says the
Lord. On the contrary. Here's how you're to treat
that person that is in your mind. If your enemy's
hungry, feed him. If she's thirsty, give her
a drink. In so doing, you will heap burning coals
upon their head. And that doesn't mean God will
blow their brains out. We'll learn a little bit
what that really means. And then there's a supernatural
result. There's this thing that when you act
the way Jesus acted toward his enemies, because
Jesus lives in you by his spirit, and you do
it in the power of his word and authentic community,
he says, do not be overcome by evil. And it's
an evil world. But he says there's something
more powerful than evil. Overcome evil with good.
Now, what I want to do in the remainder of our
time is I want to... I want to break down very
specifically and practically what it looks like
to bless those who persecute you. That's the
first and positive command. And the command is
this, bless them that persecute you. That's what
you're called to do. In verses 14, 15, and 16,
he's going to give you three specific ways to
bless them. The word bless, by the way, this
is not like, you know, someone sneezes and you
go, oh, bless you. This is not that, okay? This
word literally means to desire the salvation
of another person. It means to desire and long
for God's blessing and favor to be upon them.
I mean, it's like for that. enemy, that actually
their life would work out well, that if they're
married, their marriage would get deeper. If
they're a parent, their kids would do well. If
they have a job, they would. I mean, it's blessing.
That's what you're praying. And there's three
components here. The first component of blessing
others is forgiving them. This is hard. Forgiving
them. I mean, if you're to pray for and blessing
is for their salvation, if you want God to forgive
them, guess what? You've got to forgive them.
And you know that little section sort of in,
we call it the Lord's Prayer? Forgive us our
sins just as we forgive others. See, the premise
is going to be, and this is the key to loving
your enemies. You and I have to come to the point
where we really grasp how merciful and God has
not given us what we deserve. And there's part
of it where it's a dark place you need to go
and you kind of need to look at your motives
and some things that you've done and some stuff
that you have begged God, oh God, please, please
don't let me get the consequences of that one.
Oh God, pick me up and cleanse me. And he has.
And then what he's going to say is, I want you
to do for that person what I've done for you.
Forgiveness has three phases. Jot these down,
please. Phase number one is a choice. To forgive.
It's when you, it is not emotional. It has nothing
to do with your feelings. It is a choice. The
second thing is the forgiving process. So you
forgive and then it's forgiving. That's a journey.
And that journey is where your emotions catch
up with the choice that you've made. Because
you can forgive and you do that and you say,
and the word means to release or to loose. In
other words, I'm going to take back my desire
for them to get paid back, and I'm going to release
them from that like God has released it. And
so I'm not going to say anything negative about
them. I'm not going to wish negative for them
anymore. I'm going to release them to God, and
I'm going to forgive them the way God's forgiven
me, freely. See, there's poison in your soul
when there's bitterness and you've been wounded.
And as someone wisely said, when we refuse to
forgive, it's like we drink poison and think
the other person's going to die. Can I just make
a comment? Because I think there's a lot of confusion
about forgiveness and emotions and, well, I don't
feel like I've forgiven him. Forgive is a choice,
and then you bless them. You pray for them. We're
going to learn in a minute you not only pray
for them, but you start doing good things for
your actual enemies. Like if they're hungry,
you feed them. If they're thirsty, and there's
specific ways that you do good things for people
who don't deserve it. But I'd like if you would
think about Jesus in the garden. He died. to
forgive you and to forgive me. And sometimes
we make this, you know, Jesus loves me, this
I know. Can I let you in on a little secret?
He didn't feel like forgiving you. Did you ever
think of that? He's in the garden. He's sweating
like drops the stress like blood coming out of
his pores. And he's fully God, but he's fully
man. He didn't die with some S on his chest like
I'm going through the motions. As a man, he could
die, As God the Son, he knew that when he was
going to get on that cross, your sin and my sin
and the sin of all people of all time would be
placed upon him. He became our sin offering.
And when the moment sin came upon him, the Father
would turn away and for the first time in eternity,
the Father and the Son would be separated and
he would experience that isolation and the price
of sin. And do you remember what he prayed? Father,
let this cup pass. You know what he's saying?
I don't want to do this. I don't feel like doing
this. Forgiving and loving isn't doing what you
feel like. It's choosing to give another person
what they need the most when they deserve it
the least at great personal cost. And when God
says to forgive this person, all we're doing
is we're stepping in the same path of Jesus.
And we're doing for this person. They don't deserve
it. Of course not. Neither did I. Neither did
you. You're listening to Living on the Edge.
And Chip Ingram will continue today's program
in just a minute. Today's message is part of
Chip's series, God's Dream for Your Life. And
you can hear it anytime at livingontheedge .org.
Whether you want to revisit what you've heard
today or pass it along to a friend, this message
and hundreds more are available online. You'll
also find small group resources and opportunities
to help you live out God's dream for your life.
It's all there at livingontheedge .org. Well,
now here's Chip. And so the process of forgiveness
is a choice. Second, forgive. Forgiving is a
process. And then forgiven is it's done. And
here's how you know when it's done. You can spontaneously
rejoice at blessing in their life. Some of you
are going to get out of prison today. Some of
you have been pushing this down, and that's why
you're depressed. Some of you eat when you're
not hungry because you've been pushing this stuff
down. Some of you have ulcers and migraines,
and there's lots of physical causes, but a big
part of why our bodies don't work very well and
why we do stuff that doesn't make sense, and
we have sanctified, quote, addictions and not
-so -sanctified addictions. And a lot of it is
rooted in this lack of forgiveness and be willing
to release these people. And you can start that
today. The final thing he says, not only do you
forgive them, but he talks about identification.
And so it's not just where you mentally are doing
this. I mean, this gets like from hard to crazy
hard. He says rejoice with those who rejoice
and weep with those who weep. Christians, we
usually quote that and we think it's how we're
supposed to treat one another. You don't need
any commands to rejoice with people that you
love. And you don't need any commands to weep
with people that you love that have cancer. The
context here is this is how we bless or treat
our enemies. And so your boss who ripped you
off, who did terrible things to you, Or your
mate that walked out on you and married some
little hottie, male or female, and now is, you
know, on the beach while you don't have any money.
Is this real stuff or not? Right? And then they
get cancer or they're in an auto accident. You
know what this says? You rejoice with those who
rejoice, you weep with those who weep. What would
happen if you walked in that hospital room? Said,
you know, I know it's been five years. You can't
believe how much I've prayed for you. You don't
have to tell them why. And I want you to know
that I have forgiven you for what you've done.
But when I heard about this cancer, I felt compelled
by God to come tell you that Jesus really loves
you. And I would love, would you allow me to
pray for you right now? Can you imagine them
scratching their head? Or when something good
happens to them, rejoicing with them. You know,
maybe they remarry and they burnt you, but they
have a kid and they have a baby and something
happens and you've completely forgiven them and
you're praying for blessing. What if you jotted
a note and said, I really, I praise God, I've
been praying for your family for two years and,
you know, it's exciting to see this blessing
in your life. And for some, because here's the
disclaimer, if you were sexually abused or this
person hurt you or did something, there's some
people you can't get involved with. But you could
send them an anonymous gift. Because here's what
it does. It changes you. And before you keep
looking at me like this is the craziest stuff
you've ever heard, isn't this what Jesus did?
Didn't Jesus come to a planet and those who were
his own did not receive him but rejected him?
So we are his enemies. Paul would call us while
we were still his enemies, Christ died for us,
Romans 5 .8. And so why were his enemies? What
did he do? He went to weddings and rejoiced with
us. He raised little kids from the dead. If you're
hungry, why don't we just feed everybody right
here? Or with Lazarus, what did he do? He wept.
See, Jesus wasn't playing, okay, when you clean
up your act and when everything gets okay, then
I will love you. He rejoiced with those who were
rejoicing, and he weeped because it is the kindness
of God that leads to repentance. People will
probably, this is so counterintuitive. This is
so bizarre. When you, by his power and his grace,
choose to do this, something happens. And the
grace of God works through you in ways where,
you know what, people start to believe maybe
this Jesus is real. And so it begins with forgiveness.
And then there's identification. And then notice
the very last part, verse 16. He says there's
an association that you need to be very careful.
He says, live in harmony with one another. Do
not be proud, but willing. Circle that word associate
with people of low position. And then as though,
you know, do not be conceited. In a fallen world
with evil people, and especially those that don't
know Christ and are very antagonistic, the Apostle
Paul is saying, we need to be people that don't
just cling to our rights. In the fray of life,
I mean, it's a selfish, dog -eat -dog manipulative
world. I mean, welcome to the NFL. So how does
a Christian live that out? If possible, he says,
live in harmony with one another. And then here's
the deal. When you're blessing your enemies,
see, if you're not careful, it can be like, you
know what? I'm going to do this. I'm going to
jot a card. I'm going to visit them in the hospital.
I'm going to pray for them every day. You know
what? I'm sort of this wonderful, spiritual,
amazing person loving this scumbag of the world
who walk out on me. That's kind of the opposite
of do not be conceited. See, this is hard for
some of us. On a given day, the very thing that
that person did to you in a moment of weakness
and under pressure, you could do that to someone
else. So we come not as the superiors. We come
associating with, connecting with our humanity,
people of low position, and we're not conceited,
but it's with humility that we bless them with
a sense of, but for the grace of God, I would
be doing those things to others. Doesn't this
really just sound like Jesus? Doesn't it just,
isn't there like a trail being blazed that we're
to follow? And so that's the positive side. Bless
those, and notice, who persecute you. They're
after you. The second command is a negative one.
Don't take your own revenge. Verses 17 through
20. Don't take your own revenge. I mean, it's
just a command. Do not repay evil for evil. And
then he's kind of like in a following world.
He says, be careful. Circle that word above it.
Literally, it's take thought. New American Standard
says, respect what is right in the sight of all
men. If possible, as far as it depends on you,
live with peace with everyone. And then he goes
on to say, just wait a second. Don't take your
own revenge, but leave room for God's wrath.
He's the one who's going to be the judge. He's
going to mete out justice. Here's the point.
Personal retaliation is a prohibited response
for God's people. Personal retaliation. In other
words, they did evil to you, you get them back.
They did evil to you, you get them back. They
did this to you, you say bad things about them.
And if you're a Christian and you have some experience,
you can do it in such passive, aggressive ways.
And you add a verse to it. Throw in, it's a prayer
request. It works, believe me. And you just go
left -handed like this and you whack them. Because
your real goal is revenge. It's payback. You
use your power, you use your intellect, you use
your relationships, you use nuances. And you
go like this. One more drink of poison, please.
It's going to kill him sooner or later. But it
doesn't. Never pay back evil for evil. Instead,
take thought and consider how people think. Respect
and realize that they don't have your values.
They're not going to act the same way. The field
is not level. They're really focused on them.
Sometimes I hear Christians get all upset about
non -Christians living like non -Christians.
That guy's really greedy. She's so sexually immoral.
I can't believe that, I mean, he just drained
the whole company and all the employees. Oh,
my. So what were we like before Jesus was controlling
the interior of our life? Take thought for how
people think. It will help you live in harmony
with them. Personal retaliation is prohibited
for two very important reasons. One, it usurps
God's role as judge. Vengeance is mine. God says,
look. I'm just. Yes, I'm holy, I'm compassionate,
I'm slow to anger, but I'm just. And the word
justice is rooted in a concept. You know, the
scales of justice. Justice is rooted in a very
clear concept of retribution. Retribution is
simply this. When you do evil stuff, evil consequences.
When you do good stuff, reward. Every man will
get what they deserve. You just need to say,
I need to take the ball of judgment, hand it
to God, and say, I'm tired of trying to figure
out all the ways in my anger fantasies and different
ways to get back at my boss or my ex or one of
my kids or the person who abused me, and I'm
going to put that ball in your hands from now
throughout eternity, and I'm going to trust that
since you are just, that you will do what's right.
I will never get a raw deal, but I'm stepping
out. You own it, God. I release it to you. You're
fair. You're just. And either on this side of
heaven or on this side of after death, the scales
will be absolutely and perfectly balanced. You
can release that wound and that hurt and your
desire for payback because he knows all things.
He knows all the whys. He knows all the circumstances.
And you don't. And you can give that to him.
But there's a lot of us, if you demand to be
the judge, then God doesn't get to be the judge.
And when you judge people and you decide you're
going to pay them back, you reap what you sow.
This is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram.
Today, Chip walked us through what it actually
looks like to bless those who persecute you,
forgiving them, identifying with them, and refusing
to take revenge into your own hands. None of
it is easy. All of it is possible, and it's central
to God's dream for your life. Chip will continue
this pivotal lesson when we return tomorrow.
And if today's message hit close to home, you
can listen again or share it with someone who
needs it at livingontheedge .org. You'll also
find small group resources from this series designed
to help you and the people around you go deeper
together. And if the teaching you hear on this
program has made a difference in your life, We'd
love your help in keeping it going. Every broadcast
exists because people choose to invest in this
mission. Your monthly partnership creates the
stability that lets us plan, grow, and reach
further. A one -time gift makes an immediate
impact. Either way, you're helping put biblical
truth, like today's message, into the hands of
someone who needs it. To give, visit us online
at livingontheedge .org or call us at 888 - And
don't miss the Chip Ingram Sermon Podcast, a
new feature on the Living on the Edge podcast.
Every sermon, complete and unedited, now available
alongside our daily broadcasts. Subscribe to
the Living on the Edge podcast today. Well, now
here's Chip with some final thoughts. As we wrap
up today's program, I understand it is really,
really heavy. And some of you right now are kind
of putting up those emotional walls and you don't
want to go there because the idea of forgiving
someone, even though your intellect says, I know
it's biblical. I know it's right. I know I ought
to do it. Your emotions are going, no, no, I'm
not going to take them off the hook. And so.
Here's what I just want to do. I mean, I wish
we could have a cup of coffee. I wish I could
just lean forward right now, look you in the
eye and say, look, man, you know, this is killing
you. And that other person, they're sleeping.
They're sleeping like a baby. Their life's going
fine. You freely received God's forgiveness.
Why don't you take this mess and everything you
want to see happen to this person? And why don't
you just say, you know what, God, I bet you can
handle this better than me. And I'm going to
do it right now. I'm going to release my desire
for vengeance. I'm going to release my desire
for them getting paid back by me. And Lord, I'm
going to give that to you. And I'm going to choose
to do something that makes no sense. Today, I'm
going to write in my Bible, literally, or in
my journal, I forgave and put their name there
and put the date today. It was a choice. And
then I'm going to start. the journey of blessing
them. You're going to pray God's blessing, and
if appropriate, only if appropriate, in some
way, you will do something good for them. You
may need to do it anonymously because of the
relationship, but you're going to forgive, you're
going to pray, and then you're going to act,
and you will be set free. What do you do when
someone makes your life miserable and there's
no escape? When the anger builds and the bitterness
takes root? Well, there's a way through it. And
tomorrow, Chip Ingram explores the surprising
freedom that comes from loving your enemies.
I'm Dave Drewy. Join us tomorrow right here on
Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Today's
program is produced and sponsored by Living on
the Edge.