Today on Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram.
How do you come to grips with the real you? I
mean down deep. How do you discover who am I
really and where do I belong and why did God
put me on this planet and am I going to discover
it and actually do it? If those are questions
that nag in the back of your mind, don't miss
today's broadcast. Welcome to Living on the Edge.
I'm Dave Drewy. And today, Chip Ingram continues
our series called God's Dream for Your Life.
How to get it, keep it, and give it away. We're
exploring one of the most pressing questions.
Who are you, really? Not the version you project
to the world. Not the one shaped by what your
parents said. Who does God say you are? Well,
to get started, let's open our Bibles to Genesis
3, verse 8, with the story of Adam and Eve. Here's
Chip Ingram with his message titled, How to Come
to Grips with the Real You. They heard the sound
of the Lord God walking in the garden in the
cool of the day. And the man and his wife hid
themselves from the presence of the Lord God
among the trees of the garden. Then the Lord
God called to the man and said to him, Where
are you? By the way, this is not an informational
question. This is diagnostic. God knew where
he was. He's going to ask a series of questions
to help Adam discover where he's really at. Adam
said, I heard the sound of you in the garden.
I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid myself.
If you've got a pen, will you pull it out and
circle afraid, naked, and hid? That'll come back
later. You're going to find there's a relational
pattern in that that you have and I have and
every human being has. And God said, who told
you that you were naked? Have you eaten from
the tree of which I've commanded you not to eat?
And so he's going to answer God, the woman that
you gave me to be with me. She gave me from the
tree and I ate it. Then the Lord God said to
the woman, what is this that you have done? And
the woman being a very quick study says, the
serpent deceived me and I ate. Three obstacles
you'll see in this passage about why it's so
hard to come to grips with the real you. First
is fear rooted in shame. Notice he says, I was
afraid. Well, why? I was afraid because now for
the first time ever, Adam realizes he's naked.
And don't, of course it's physical, but well,
well beyond. What he realizes is he's exposed.
Notice the second thing that happens in this.
Not only did they say I was afraid, he says hiding
rooted in insecurity. See, when you're naked,
you feel insecure. You feel inadequate. And so
you hide. Not only were you afraid, but I hide
the real me from you and you hide the real you
from others and from God. The third. is blaming
rooted in denial. The man says, it's the woman.
The woman says, it's the serpent. But ultimately,
they both, they blame God. Now here's, before
we go on, because we're going to talk about Romans
chapter 12, verses 3 through 8, is actually going
to help you discover. I mean, the tipping point
of discovering who you are, where you belong,
and what you're supposed to do. Verse 3 will
tell us in just a minute who you are. Verses
4 and 5 will say where you belong. And verses
6 through 8 will be the beginning of you getting
really clear on your role and what you're supposed
to do. Who are you? Verse 3. For by the grace
of God given to me, I say to everyone among you,
do not think of yourself more highly than you
ought to think, but rather think of yourself
with sober judgment in accordance with the measure
of faith God has given you. If you have that
pen, pull it out, underline the word think. Then
when you get to... Then you ought, underline
the word ought, but rather think, underline the
word think, and then underline sober judgment.
So you have think, ought, think, and sober judgment.
You underlined ought because in the original
language, it's how you ought to think. But as
they translated it for just a smoother reading,
they omitted that word. The same root word, think,
think, think, and sober judgment is all the same
root word. The word sober judgment gives us the
best idea. It's don't. Think of yourself like
someone who's drunk. When a person's drunk, what
do they do? There's an external influence that
gets inside of them that cause them to look at
life in a way that's not accurate. So he says,
don't be drunk by the world system. Don't be
drunk by what everybody would think. Don't be
drunk by what your family tells you. You need
to have a sober self -assessment. You need to
think accurately about yourself. That's the first
command. You need to come to the point where
physically, relationally, spiritually, emotionally,
your soul, you can look in the actual mirror
and say, I'm fearfully and wonderfully made.
And come to the point where these are my strengths,
these are my weaknesses, God -given, this is
how he's given me, but where you think accurately
about yourself. Notice, don't think too highly
of yourself. Don't think too lonely of yourself,
but to think of a sober or accurate judgment.
And then this little phrase, notice it says,
according to the measure of faith that God's
given you. Newell, in his commentary on Romans,
really puts it well. He says faith in this situation
is not a subjective faith. In other words, it's
not faith in Christ, it's the faith. He says
it's a standard by which we're to evaluate ourselves.
This objective faith is the biblical view of
ourself. It's who you are in Christ. It's how
God has gifted you. It's understanding his plan
for you. It's like the first three chapters of
Ephesians. It's you need to see yourself as loved,
adopted, sealed by the Spirit. You have a purpose.
You're his workmanship. Everything you need,
you possess in Christ. You're a son. You're a
daughter. You're forgiven. You're loved. That's
who you are. Most of us don't think that way
about ourselves. That's why the world has such
pools on us. I'll be accepted. I'll be significant
if I look like that or if I act like that or
if I make so much money or if people think this
or if my kids do that. And it's a losing proposition.
First and foremost, we need to think accurately
about ourselves because this is who God says
that we are. We all know people think too highly
of themselves, right? It's called arrogance or
pride. And, you know, they kind of strut in.
Have you seen my new shoes? You know, I was at
Nordstrom's the other day. Or, you know, I just
hate it when it's just, it's so busy this time
of year in Cabo. You know? The Lexus dealership
gave me such a hard time. I am just absolutely
frustrated with, you know, I think I'm going
to go with the Bentley next time. Now, it doesn't
take long for us, and by the way, those are our
mild, funny illustrations. Believe me, we figured
out how to do that spiritually with verses and
posing just as well. But that would be too convicting,
so I didn't want to go there. But we've all been
around people that, right, the superiority, and
everything in you goes, I don't want to be around
that person. They think too highly of themselves.
See, but actually, they're a scared little boy
or a scared little girl that's afraid you won't
like them, and they've learned. That's how to
hide. And then there's other people that, you
know, they think too lowly of themselves. God
could never use me. I'm worthless. I don't have
any gifts. I know the Bible says there's gifts,
but I know, you know, like the whole human race,
and he got to me and goes, oh, I ran out. I don't
have any gifts. I don't have any value. If you
knew where I came from, there's no hope for me.
Now, get this. If you think too highly of yourself
or too lowly of yourself, who are you thinking
about? You. See, humility isn't thinking too
high or too low. Humility isn't thinking of yourself
at all. The Apostle Paul would say, consider
others as more important than yourself. It reminds
me, I haven't done a lot of this, but if you've
ever gone bowling, sometimes I go bowling, not
very often, like once every three or four years,
and those guys on TV, they make it curve. So,
you know, I'm going to try and make it curve.
And I've done research on this. I can curve it
into the left gutter. And just this is an experiment.
How many pins if you curve it into the left gutter
do you get? Zero. Well, then I try and overcompensate
and I try and throw to the right. And if it goes
in the right gutter, how many pins do you get?
See, it doesn't matter if you think too high
or if you think too low. You miss. Those are
gutter balls. God commands. By the way, this
is a command. He commands you and he commands
me to think. accurately, clearly, biblically
about who you really are. It starts with understanding
that command, and then it takes a journey and
a process of renewing your mind because people
and the media and the world has been telling
you who you are your whole life, and you've got
to break out of that. And you say, well, why
is that so important? Because if you don't understand
who you are, you'll never understand where you
belong. Notice the very next verse, verses four
and five. It says, just as each of us has one
body, speaking of the physical body, and many
members like eyes and hands and feet, et cetera,
and these members do not all have the same function,
so in Christ we are many, form one body, and
each member belongs to all the others. Now in
your notes, right above just as, I want you to
write the word for, F -O -R. There's a little
preposition in Greek that when it comes, it means
reason. And again, to smooth out translation
sometimes, just as sounds good. But the reason,
he's saying the reason you must understand who
you are and think accurately about you is for,
just as the human body has many parts and all
don't have the same function, so we who are many
are one body in Christ and you fit. And if you
didn't know you were an eye, you wouldn't know
where you fit. If you don't have a sober self
-assessment of you, you don't know where you
fit. If you ask the average person, what are
your top three strengths? What are your top three
weaknesses? Oh, three, I got nine. But here's
what he's saying. Imagine these fingers coming
out like this are your strengths. God gives you
strengths. that build your confidence and allow
you to understand you have a unique contribution
to help other people. Now, we live in a world
where we're not even supposed to have any weaknesses,
and so we sort of avoid, lie, deny, pretend.
But God gave you weaknesses to create dependency
and humility so there's interdependency, so other
people's strengths... Meet your weaknesses so
they do for you and in you what you couldn't
do. So you need people. You know what that creates?
Interdependency or humility. And it creates beauty.
Your assignment is I want you to really think
and pray about what are your top three strengths?
Not what people think, what you think. What's
God say? Maybe go to a few close people that
know you well that'll be honest. Some of us want
to write strengths because we think it would
make us a somebody. But what are your strengths?
That's a journey. And then actually write down,
what do you think your top three weaknesses are?
And when you get those, what you understand is,
instead of all this energy of covering them and
acting like you don't have them, you just realize
those are invitations by the God who made you
to let people come into your life and love you
in ways that you desperately needed. You're listening
to Living on the Edge, and Chip Ingram will continue
today's program in just a minute. Today's message
is part of Chip's series, God's Dream for Your
Life, and you can hear it anytime at livingontheedge
.org. Whether you want to revisit what you've
heard today or pass it along to a friend, this
message and hundreds more are available online.
You'll also find small group resources and opportunities
to help you live out God's dream for your life.
It's all there at livingontheedge .org. Well,
now here's Chip. I had two kids in college at
one time, two kids in Christian schools, and
at that little window of time, I remember reading
the paper, Santa Cruz was the most expensive
place to live in America. More than Manhattan,
more than San Francisco, and it was just crazy.
And just trying to make it was just very difficult.
And so when something broke down in our house,
calling the repairman wasn't an option. I didn't
have any money to call the repairman. And there
was an elder in our church, a very godly man,
a retired school teacher, but he was a shop teacher.
He could fix anything. And so when the dryer
would go out, and we bought a really older home
that had lots of repair, and when it rained,
the rain came in through one window, and every
time the dishwasher, I didn't know why my wife
had upset her so much, but we just put a towel
under the dishwasher so it would catch the water,
take out the dishes. It seemed to work fine to
me, but she really didn't think that was a good
plan. And so Dick would come over, and on my
day off, 60 % of my day off, Dick and I, that's
what I called it, Dick and I would fix things.
Which meant I drove to Home Depot with Dick,
I bought the parts, and then I would kneel down
next to Dick and hand him the tools and ask a
few questions. And finally he said, Chip, you're
never going to understand this anyway, but it's
okay. I learned more about being a man of God.
He had grown kids, he was about 20 years older
than me, about how to be a dad and how to be
a pastor. from Dick than probably anybody in
that church. Why? Because I had a need. I mean,
I can't fix anything. I mean, I literally, I
can't fix anything. I mean, the iPad came out.
I can hardly get around an iPad. I'm so untechnical.
And I mean, you can fall off a truck and use
one of those. But that need created a relationship.
What would happen if you came to grips with the
real you, took off your mask of projection and
holograms and recognized that God would want
to bring people into your life? And what if you
would take away your false humility and realize
some of you are really good at some things instead
of going, well, you know, I don't want to say
anything like I'm good at that because they might
think I'm trying to, they might think you're
just trying to love them. I'll tell you what,
it's God's design. It's powerful. It's beautiful.
It's amazing. What I just described can't happen
unless you're relationally connected and people
know you and you open up and you take those baby
steps of trust. Being in a small group will not
make you deep in relationship, but it's the container
in which happens most often where you really
share your life and your heart. And so who are
you? You need to think accurately about yourself
the way God sees you. Why? Because you have a
role to fulfill. You have a role to fulfill.
And you can't know what that role is unless you
know who you really are. And third, then you
say, well, what role is it? Where do I fit? Show
me, God. He's going to say, I've deposited in
you a primary spiritual gift. Are you ready?
A primary spiritual gift so that you can know.
You can do a lot of different things, but I want
you to take the lion's share of your energy in
the body of Christ and focus here. Look what
he says in verses 6 through 8. What are you supposed
to do? He says, we have different gifts according
to what? According to the grace given to us.
So what they are for given by God, there's no
room for pride. And then he says, if a man's
gift is prophecy, let him use it in the proportion
of his faith. If it's serving in his service,
if it's teaching in his teaching, if it's encouraging
or counseling, let him encourage. If it's giving
or contributing to the needs of others, let him
give generously. If it's leadership, let him
do it diligently. If it's showing mercy, let
him do it cheerfully. Now, we could go through
and we have a, on the back of your notes, there's
your divine design and we can help you learn
and discover what those gifts are and discover
what yours are. The point of this passage is
not explaining the gifts. What's the point? If
you're gifted to teach, no trick question, what
are you supposed to do? Teach. If you're gifted
to counsel and encourage, what are you supposed
to do? Counsel and encourage. Come on. If you're
gifted to lead, do it diligently, right? The
point is, there's a lot of things you could do.
You are gifted and you have a unique something
to bring to the body of Christ. This is how you
make a matrix of where to spend your time and
life and energy and priorities. You don't have
to be on every committee and help everything
in the community and everything everywhere all
the time. You need to have a matrix. These are
my strengths. These are my weaknesses. Primary
spiritual gift. These are my priorities. This
is the season of life that I'm in. Okay, Lord.
Line me up. And when you do that, you discover
more and more who you are, and you will discover
that you deeply belong, and you'll be doing what
he made you to do. And so the practice here,
put very simply, is to discover and deploy your
spiritual gifts. Discover and deploy your spiritual
gifts. You answer these questions by thinking
accurately about yourself, getting relationally
connected, discovering and deploying your spiritual
gifts, And as you turn to the last page, I just,
I want to remind you, sometimes, you know, you
can dig down into these questions. I just want
to remind you, remember what Jesus said? True
spirituality. Don't get caught up in the R's
or, you know, surrender to God, separate from
the world, sober self -assessment. Those are
great. But all those are what? Those are just
a profile so that you love God with all your
heart, soul, mind, and strength. You love others
as the way you're learning to begin to appreciate
and love you. And you'll never love you until
you begin to remember and grasp how God sees
you. Not how you see yourself. Not how your mom
saw you. Not how your dad who wasn't around did
or didn't see you. Not how your peers see you.
And so there's three things I want you never
to forget, okay? You can look up the verses.
These are ones if I was you, I would memorize.
In fact, I have. I want you to never, ever forget
who you really are. God uniquely created you.
You are eternally valuable. You are fearfully
and wonderfully made. This passage will go on
and talk about when you were in your mother's
womb, you were being fashioned. In the embryo
by the creator of the world because he had a
plan for you and he made you special just the
way you are. And he not only loves you. Are you
ready for this? God likes you. I meet people
all the time that are convinced, oh, I think
God loves me. I just don't think he likes me.
He's proud of you. He sings over you. The second
thing, never forget, is that God placed you in
his family. You were unconditionally accepted.
Ephesians 3, Paul prays, I pray that you might
grasp beyond understanding the height and depth
and length and breadth and know the love of Christ.
He loves you. He loves you regardless of where
you've been. He's regardless of what's happened
to you. He loves you even no matter what's happened
because of Christ's work on the cross, his death
that paid and covered your sin. If you're a follower
of Jesus, he's redeemed you and he loves you
and he takes your sins as far as the east is
from the west. You're the object of his affection.
If no one else cares about you, he does. And
third, never forget that God gifted you to fulfill
his purpose. You are irreplaceably significant.
You're significant. You're his workmanship created
in Christ Jesus, Ephesians 2 .10 says, unto a
good work that no one can uniquely do just like
you. When you think accurately about yourself
and it is hard work, it'll change you. It'll
change your marriage. If you're a parent, it'll
change your parenting. These are the kind of
things that you do with your kids. These are
the kind of things with all the pressures that
you renew their mind, that you at bedtime and
sit around the table. These are the kind of things
you do with a roommate realizing that you need
to be the right person, not find the right person.
And when you get an accurate view of yourself,
you're the most beautiful, attractive, winsome
person on the face of the earth because there's
no one like you. This is Living on the Edge with
Chip Ingram, and we'll hear more from Chip in
just a moment. What does God actually dream for
your life? That's the heart of what this ministry
has been exploring for more than 30 years. Week
after week, Living on the Edge brings practical
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Here's what sets Living on the Edge apart. Chip
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to subscribe to the Living on the Edge podcast,
where you can also find Chip's complete unedited
messages from start to finish. All right, here's
Chip with a final thought. As we close today's
program, what I have to tell you that is most
exciting... is the connection between being separate
from the world and serving in love and having
a sober self -assessment. This is the aha that
I've done with multiple, multiple groups, is
when people discover, oh, this is who God made
me. And when they get that little three by five
card I talked about and they say, these are my
strengths and that's wonderful. And, you know,
yes, I do have weaknesses. So God has people
in my life. They invite people into their world
like never before. And the other thing is you
don't have to pose. You know, a lot of our conformity
to the world and we got to look this way and
act that way and drive this kind of a car and
have a purse that has this design on it and drop
names and tell people this and that. All that
is about we don't really know who we are. And
so we're trying to project this stuff. When you
get a sober self -assessment, I'm telling you,
it not just frees you to be you, but a lot of
the temptations, a lot of the world that pulled
on you, you're thinking to yourself, you know
something, I don't need that anymore because
the most beautiful person in the world, the most
attractive person in the world is the one that
God made. So can I encourage you, thank God today
for how he made you and look in the mirror and
literally go ahead, do it out loud with no one
around. And look in the mirror and say, I am
fearfully and wonderfully made. Thank you, Lord
Jesus. Do you ever feel spiritually stuck? Tomorrow,
Chip Ingram reveals the missing ingredient most
Christians struggle with here on Living on the
Edge. Today's program is produced and sponsored
by Living on the Edge.