This is the Chip Ingram Sermon Podcast, brought
to you by Living on the Edge. In this podcast,
you'll hear Chip's teaching unedited and from
beginning to end. Well, here's Chip Ingram with
today's message, How to Come to Grips with the
Real You. Well, there's not a lot of things that
psychologists and theologians agree on 100%.
But psychologists and theologians all agree that
from the time we're very small, actually until
the day we die, we begin to consciously or unconsciously
try to ask and answer three questions. Question
number one, who am I? Question number two, where
do I belong? And question number three, what
am I supposed to do? I mean, these are the issues
about identity, about security and significance.
becoming a Romans 12 Christian, your true spirituality.
And at the end of the day, we can call it all
kind of different things, but Jesus made it very
clear. Love the Lord your God with all your heart,
with all your soul, with all your mind, with
all your strength, and love your neighbor like
yourself. And in Romans chapter 12, it just gives
us a snapshot of what an authentic follower of
Jesus looks like in everyday life. And so in
terms of loving God, he says, how do you love
God? What does God want the most? He wants you
and me, all that we are, all that we have, surrendered
to him. And then realizing that it's a battle
and the world system wants to seduce our heart
away from our Savior, he wants us to be separate
from the world's values. Well, now we're going
to move from verse 1 and verse 2 to verse 3 through
8. And here what we're going to learn is, how
do you come to grips with the real you? You cannot
and I cannot love other people if you don't love
you. I mean that not narcissistically. I mean
in a very healthy way. How do you look in the
mirror, not just physically, but in the mirror
of your soul, come to grips with who you really
are, and say, I'm fearfully and wonderfully made.
I matter. God has a plan for me. I'm not too
short. I'm not too tall. I have the right personality.
I have the right gifts. I don't need to be like
anyone else. Here's the fact of the matter. Most
of us, Most people on all the earth spend the
great majority of their time and energy trying
to be like someone else or wishing they were
someone else. And so we dress like someone else.
We act like someone else. We have all these different
models and we spend all of our energy and time
trying to be a copy of something that's not nearly
as attractive as the one unique person out of
the almost 7 billion people on this planet. that
have a unique DNA that's yours. And you're made
exactly like you were made by the creator of
all of life because he's got a plan for you and
he's gifted you and he wants to do something
great in you and then something significant through
you. So we're going to roll up our sleeves and
we're going to ask and answer the question, how
do you come to grips with the real you? So open
your teaching notes, if you will, and let's jump
into those three questions. Question number one,
who am I? You know, when you're real small, you
say, well, like in my family, I learned early.
It's family. Who am I? I'm an Ingram. My dad
made it very clear that that name was important,
so you better not go out and do anything that
would embarrass the Ingram name. You get a little
older, and they say, who are you? And we often
give our profession or our work. Well, I'm a
scientist. I'm a software engineer. I'm a stay
-at -home mom. I'm a construction worker. I'm
an electrician. And so who I am, my identity
is around what I do. As we get a little bit older
or as life changes often, then it's about our
passion. Well, I'm a mom. I'm a surfer. I'm an
artist. But it all goes back to from the time
you're small to those late teens to early adulthood,
then especially a little shift in midlife. What's
our identity? You're always asking this question.
And by the way, for those of you who are parents,
so are your kids. The second big question we're
always asking are, where do I belong? And this
is about security. And so remember in school
when there were cliques? Isn't it weird? I mean,
every school, you got the athletes, you got the
nerds, you got the cool group, you got the in
group, you got the really out group. And then
there's clubs, so you join different clubs. Then
sometimes our, where I belong, it's my ethnicity,
the people that look like me. Or sometimes it's
around where we belong. I'm an IBMer. I'm an
HPer. I'm a Googler, right? You know? Other times
where I belong is, well, I belong to this country
club. And people like me go here. Or I belong
to this gang because I wear my pants down here
and I got some bling. Or I belong because in
some gangs you have to kill someone to get in.
And then I've got a tear tattoo right here to
prove that I'm in that. You need to understand
that the same dynamics when you're small or later,
and every one of those is every person is made
by the God of the universe to need to belong,
to need to understand who you really are. And
we go about it in some ways sometimes that are
very dysfunctional. In fact, sometimes very dangerous.
Third question we're asking is, why am I here?
What am I supposed to do? I mean, it's fundamental.
It's so fundamental and so overwhelming, sometimes
we blow past this one. I mean, when's the last
time you actually stopped and said, why am I
on this planet? What is the meaning of life for
me? See, we left to me and you left to you. That's
sort of like, well, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's,
I'm sure, I mean, it's the most important question
in life. So I'll get around to that. But I got
a lot of voicemails, you know, and a lot of emails.
And, you know, there's work and there's kids.
I got to drop people off. And by the way, I got
to get in. I got to get these good test scores.
And I need to, and it's amazing how many people
blow through life, fulfilling all kinds of duties,
responding to all kinds of demands that really
are about identity and security. And you wake
up 30, 40, 50 years later and you realize your
whole life has been a grind. Your whole life
has been for something that's going to happen
someday, some way out there. And you've never
stopped to ask, what am I supposed to do with
my life? A big part of the whole midlife crisis
is people looking in the rearview mirror and
going, I've not only not asked that question
when I start thinking about it very deeply, I
don't like the answer. Because I not only don't
know, But I haven't given much energy or time
or track record to what I think probably matters
most. Now, before you get too down on yourself,
right? Because honestly, those are big, aren't
they? Those are so big. Isn't it interesting?
The biggest issues in life you can sort of shove
down because they're so hard to answer. It's
like, well, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, who here
would say, who am I really and where do I belong
and what am I supposed to do? Come on, Chip,
would you get to something serious? Right? There's
no bigger questions than that. And yet, the great
majority of people have not thought deeply or
could give you good, clear answers to that. But
let me tell you why. Let me explain why those
are so hard to answer. Turn in your notes to
page two. Something happened. Something happened
to our first parents that we've inherited from
them that make these three questions very hard
to answer. It's why the world has such a pull
on us. It's why we settle for lots of superficial
answers to those things, knowing down deep in
our soul they don't really satisfy. The passage
is Genesis chapter 3. The context is the cosmic
coup has occurred. The most loving being, the
most generous being, the giver of all life, the
creator of the universe, Yahweh God, has created
mankind and told them that all that I have and
everything's available, there's only one small
limitation, don't eat from that tree. And our
parents, first by deception, then by an act of
the will, it was a coup, it was a rebellion.
And sin entered the world. The theologians call
it the fall of man. And we pick up the story
and we find out what happened. And as we pick
up the story, you'll discover why for you and
me, it's really hard to answer those questions
well. They heard the sound of the Lord God walking
in the garden in the cool of the day. And the
man and his wife hid themselves from the presence
of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.
It's the first time this has ever happened. They
ran to meet him. They lived in a perfect environment.
They were naked emotionally. They were naked
spiritually. They were naked physically. Some
theologians think there was radiation of light
that came out from them before the fall even.
There was absolute, complete intimacy with God,
intimacy and vulnerability with one another,
unconditional acceptance. Life was perfect. And
now they hear God coming, and for the first time,
they hide. Then the Lord God called to the man
and said to him, where are you? By the way, this
is not an informational question. This is diagnostic.
God knew where he was. He's going to ask a series
of questions to help Adam discover where he's
really at. Adam said, I heard the sound of you
in the garden. I was afraid because I was naked,
so I hid myself. If you've got a pen, will you
pull it out and circle afraid, naked, and hid?
That'll come back later. You're going to find
there's a relational pattern in that that you
have and I have and every human being has. And
God said, who told you that you were naked? Have
you eaten from the tree of which I've commanded
you not to eat? And so he's going to answer God.
And it's very interesting. If you happen to be
his wife, this is not a good moment. What you're
going to learn is you can't trust this guy. For
the first time ever, what you're going to learn
when the pressure comes, what he's going to do
instead of own his stuff and be a man, he's going
to be passive and he's going to blame you. And
so Eve is. probably standing there, knowing the
whole story, and she's going to hear her husband
say to God, the woman that you gave me to be
with me, she gave me from the tree and I ate
it. Translation, it's not my fault, it's her
fault, and by the way, you're the one who gave
her to me, so let's do the math. Not me, it's
her, it's your fault, really, God. And so God
moves on with the progression of diagnostic questions.
Then the Lord God said to the woman, What is
this that you have done? And the woman, being
a very quick study, says, the serpent deceived
me and I ate. In other words, it's not my fault
either. It's the serpent's fault. And who made
this garden? And who made serpents? And you know
what? All the problems in life are God's. Isn't
it interesting a lot hasn't changed? When there's
a tragedy, When there's a difficulty, when something
happens in the world, isn't it interesting as
human beings, what I always hear is, how could
God let this happen? How come every single day,
how could God let me breathe? How could God give
me this? I mean, we don't like list every good
thing that he's ever done, but anything goes
wrong, I'll tell you what, right? Three obstacles
you'll see in this passage about why it's so
hard to come to grips with the real you. First
is fear rooted in shame. Notice he says, I was
afraid. Well, why? I was afraid because now for
the first time ever, Adam realizes he's naked.
And don't, of course it's physical, but well,
well beyond. What he realizes is he's exposed.
What he realizes when he meets the eyes of someone
who sees absolutely perfect through everything,
he doesn't measure up. There's a self -consciousness
that has occurred. And can I tell you that this
is how we relate to God often? And this is how
we relate to one another? It is that the primary
means of relating to other human beings and God
is fear. And it's rooted in shame. See, I mean...
if we get all the superficial sophistication
and all the pop psychology out of the way, if
I could remove every ounce of veneer from your
life and mine and all the image management and
all the ways you kind of frame things and all
the levels of denial that you have, down deep
in your heart and your soul, if someone knew
all of you, I mean all of you, the thoughts,
the envy, the motives, the things that you've
thought, let alone the things you've done, down
deep in your heart, you're pretty convinced you'd
be rejected. And so we relate to one another
in fear and spend an inordinate amount of energy
posing and image managing. And since we're not
sure who we really are, we want to be liked by
other people, so I call them personality holograms.
because of your background and your gifts and
the part of the country you grew up in and all
these factors, somewhere along the world, you
learn people in certain groups like this, and
so you learn to act like that and dress like
that and need to drive that, and your kids need
to go to this school, and you have all these
things that somehow, someway, if all that is
lined up, because you get affirmation from that,
you get approval from that, you're admired by
people. Here's the problem. What you know is
this hologram that you're projecting of this
person that has it kind of together and is loving
and is kind and is a good whatever. You know
down deep in your soul that really doesn't represent
all of you, let alone a lot of the real you.
And even when people love the hologram, you don't
get love because you know that's not you. And
that's why we find some of the people that are
most beautiful and the most successful. And we
find him doing things that we scratch our head
and say, how could someone that has all the things
we all long for kill themselves or destroy their
life with an addiction? It's that discrepancy
in their soul. It's fear rooted in shame. Notice
the second thing that happens in this. Not only
did they say I was afraid, he says hiding rooted
in insecurity. See, when you're naked, you feel
insecure. You feel inadequate. And so you hide.
Not only were you afraid, but I hide the real
me from you and you hide the real you from others
and from God. Isn't it amazing when you don't
feel like praying, especially if you down deep
feel, you know, sort of that low grade guilt
in your soul. Maybe it's not like really big
sins, but sort of the little ones start adding
up and you just don't feel very motivated to
pray. I don't know about you, but what I realize
is I don't want to go talk to God right now because
I know how this is going to go. Right? He's going
to cause me to be honest, expose me for who I
am, and I don't like that. And so I play this
game like, well, if I don't really talk to him
very deeply right now, he doesn't really know.
But don't you do that with your mates, those
of you that are married? Don't you do it with
your roommates? Don't you do that with your best
friends? Don't we play that game? We have fear
that's rooted in shame, and then we hide in our
insecurity. And can I tell you something? Here's
a great little message to learn. This is a freedom
message for me. Everyone on the earth is desperately
insecure. Desperately insecure. And if you're
saying, oh, no, I don't know if I really buy
that one. Well, let me tell you a little story
that was a liberating one for me. The first place
that I had the privilege of pastoring, I was
28 years old. It was a, instead of a mega church,
it was a mini church. It's out in the country,
about 30 miles outside of Dallas. That whole
town was about 3 ,000 people. And then outside
the town was this little white building and we
had 35 people. And so it was my very first pastorate
and I didn't know what I was doing, but this
was, you know, the place God called me to. And
I thought it was like a rural church because
people had pickup trucks and guns in the back
and they all had their ranches and horses. But
after about two months there, when I started
visiting the people in their homes, not only
did their homes have the Southern Living magazine,
you know, like on the coffee table, their homes
were Southern Living magazine. And, you know,
there's only 35 people, but this guy owned the
Honda dealership, the Yamaha dealership, apartments
in downtown Austin, and oil and gas. And this
guy owned, not worked at, he owned an insurance
company. I don't know how you do that, but someone
has to own them, I guess. And this guy over here
had one of the major CPA firms downtown. And
all of a sudden, I realized from my very middle
class, my dad through the depression roots, kind
of, you know, both parents, school teachers,
All of a sudden, I realize I'm pastoring 35 people,
but they're mega wealthy. At least they're mega
wealthy from where I came from. And I'm intimidated
to death. Have you ever been around someone that
makes you feel really insecure? And I would say
things, and I would feel small, and I would think
I'm dumb, and I don't know about that, and I
know they're smarter than me, and they've got
all this stuff. Well, Chip, we're not going to
be in church because we're going to go out of
town. It's skiing season, so we're going to Vail.
Oh, wow, that's in Colorado. To our cottage.
And then we're going to go to our condo in Corpus
Christi. And it was like. And I mean, for the
first year and a half, I was, I literally, I
remember being awake. I mean, not sleeping at
all. The first full six or seven nights before
the first message, once I found out who these
people were, because I was so uptight about what
they thought of me. And then God put a book in
my hands by. Swiss psychologist, Christian psychologist
named Paul Tournier. You don't even have to read
the book. It's probably out of print. It was
translated from French into English. Paul Tournier,
the title of the book is The Strong and the Weak.
And he had counseled people for 30 or 40 years,
and the thesis of the book is real simple. Everyone
on the face of the earth is desperately insecure.
Some people express their insecurity with strong
reactions. They power up. They tell you who they
are, where they've been. They dress flashy. They
tell you how many people report to them, how
many letters behind their name, what their kid's
SAT scores are. You start to cross them, and
they get angry, and they power up, and all of
a sudden, you feel small, and you back away.
And people that are desperately insecure that
power up, guess what they do? They power up with
strong reactions to create distance because down
inside they're a scared little boy or a scared
little girl just like everybody else. And they
hide behind it. They just have different fig
leaves than other people. And over here you have
people who have weak reactions. And they have
weak reactions and they stare at their feet a
lot. And, you know, I can't do anything and I'm
unworthy. I had a very terrible experience. I've
been through a lot and you probably can understand
it. And when you first meet them, you try to
help them. Then you try to help them and then
you meet them. And then they have this recorder.
I'm a victim. I'm a victim. I'm a victim. Life's
terrible. I'm unworthy. I'm a terrible person.
No one would ever love me. And after like five
meetings, you go, you know what? You might be
right. Right? I mean, you know what I mean? And
so what they've done is they don't really want
help. They want sympathy and attention. But when
they act like that, it creates distance. It's
a self -fulfilling prophecy. They figure a way
to act in ways where people say, I won't get
close to you. It works. But there's not a nickel's
worth of difference between the two, the strong
reaction and the weak reaction. Well, I was around
mostly people that were powering up and I was
scared to death. And I read that book and it
was literally like, you know, you know, in those
cartoons where bing, a light bulb goes off, bing,
a light bulb went off. And I still remember the
first time I meet this guy for breakfast and
he starts telling me about this and I'm investing
in that and I'm going to do that. And I just
kind of leaned back and I thought, man, this
guy's desperately insecure. And then I got to
know his marriage and his problems and started
counseling some of his kids. And I still remember
thinking, man, these people are as messed up
as me. In fact, I think money can make you even
more messed up than me. And I just decided, you
know what? I'm going to stop pretending. And
I took my mask off at a new level and befriended
them. And I watched God do a miracle. He did
a miracle in them, but he did a bigger miracle
in me. And it was like that early journey. You
know what? Just sort of my new radar became for
years and years and years, everyone's desperately
insecure. And you cover it one way, I cover it
one way. Some people cover it with, you know,
what they've done and their performance and their
success and other people with their story that
they tell. But you know what? It's called the
fall. And you relate and I relate by hiding.
And we hide. Because we're insecure. The third
relational implication of why it's so hard to
answer these questions is blaming rooted in denial.
The man says, it's the woman. The woman says,
it's the serpent. But ultimately, they both,
they blame God. Now here's, before we go on,
because we're going to talk about Romans chapter
12, verses 3 through 8. is actually going to
help you discover. I mean, the tipping point
of discovering who you are, where you belong,
and what you're supposed to do. Verse three will
tell us in just a minute who you are. Verses
four and five will say where you belong. And
verses six through eight will be the beginning
of you getting really clear on your role and
what you're supposed to do. But I want to tell
you kind of a follow -up story because it's one
thing to say, okay, everyone's desperately insecure.
What do you do with that? It must have been 10,
15 years later, and I'm on this journey. In fact,
on a three -by -five card I wrote shortly after
that, just my desire cards to renew my mind.
Lord, I long to be more authentic in every relationship
by your power and your grace. And I was invited
to, I found out later, a very exclusive dinner.
It's called the National Religious Broadcasters.
And they had probably the top maybe 20 or 30
communicators in America with their wives. And
these people put on this dinner. And I had no
idea, you know, like we're on 10 stations or
I don't know. It was not like, I mean, it was
like Chuck Swindoll's on every station has written
25 or 30 books. And he's sort of the voice of
America and still going strong. And so I come
to this dinner with my wife. It is like, it made
when I was intimidated before seem like, you
know, just baby steps. And so of all things,
there's, you know, they go around and they have
a little nameplate and, you know, and so I sit
down and the nameplate next to me is Chuck Swindoll.
And I'm going, oh. No. And so, you know, I have
time and I'm sitting there and I, you know, for
me too, I'm from California and you know, I got
a tie on and a coat and I'm totally uncomfortable
just in how I'm dressed. And you know, it's real
fancy and it's in real fancy place. And you know,
he sits down, I sit down and I'm sitting there
thinking, what am I going to do? Cause I mean,
I'm, I'm, I'm not thinking I'm insecure. I'm
feeling very insecure. And so I go through my
mind about like, how should I do this? Maybe
I'll take the, Hey Chuck, how's it going, man?
Nah, I don't think that'll work. How about the
real, excuse me, Dr. Swindoll, how's the ministry
going? Nah, I don't think that'll work. I mean,
literally, you know, don't you all do this? Like,
what am I going to do in this situation? And
I remembered this. Everyone's desperately insecure.
I can't really believe he is, but I'm thinking
the Bible's true. So I just thought, I'm going
to keep applying what I've been learning. And
I tapped him on the shoulder. He turned, said,
excuse me, Mr. Swindoll, this is my first time
here. And I just have to tell you, I'm way over
my head. This is very intimidating. We're not
on very many stations. I don't not only know
how to act, I don't know how to do this whole
broadcasting thing. Could you give me a couple
tips? And I'll never forget, he pulled back his
chair, put his arm around me like this. We got
back. Chip, call me Chuck. And for the next half
hour, he began to explain the journey. And then
for the next six or seven years, I went to that
dinner. Chip, come here. And he would kind of
say, well, tell me what's happening. And then
he would coach me. And why? I could have posed.
I could have said, do you understand? one station.
We're on seven stations now. What do you think?
Oh yeah, worldwide. Well, that's pretty good,
you know. But do you understand what happens
when you take off your mask and you're just real
and you're honest with where you're really at?
Do you know what it is? You know who's coming
out? The most attractive person on the planet
that God made, the real you. Now look in your
notes because here's what I want. I want to take
you on a journey. to the beginning points of
discovering who you really are, where you really
belong, and then what you're supposed to do.
God's answer to the dysfunctional pattern of
hiding and shame and fear and denial is this.
Who are you, verse 3, for by the grace of God
given to me, I say to everyone among you, do
not think of yourself more highly than you ought
to think. but rather think of yourself with sober
judgment in accordance with the measure of faith
God has given you. If you have that pen, pull
it out, underline the word think. Then when you
get to then you ought, underline the word ought,
but rather think, underline the word think, and
then underline sober judgment. So you have think,
ought, think, and sober judgment. You underlined
ought because in the original language, it's
how you ought to think. But as they translated
it for just a smoother reading, they omitted
that word. The same root word, think, think,
think, and sober judgment is all the same root
word. The word sober judgment gives us the best
idea. It's don't think of yourself like someone
who's drunk. When a person's drunk, what do they
do? There's an external influence that gets inside
of them that cause them to look at life in a
way that's not accurate. So he says, don't be
drunk by the world system. Don't be drunk by
what everybody would think. Don't be drunk by
what your family tells you. You need to have
a sober self -assessment. You need to think accurately
about yourself. That's the first command. You
need to come to the point where physically, relationally,
spiritually, emotionally, your soul, you can
look in the actual mirror and say, I'm fearfully
and wonderfully made. And come to the point where
these are my strengths. These are my weaknesses
God given. This is how he's given me, but where
you think accurately about yourself. Notice,
don't think too highly of yourself. Don't think
too lowly of yourself, but to think of a sober
or accurate judgment. And then this little phrase,
notice it says, according to the measure of faith
that God's given you. Newell, in his commentary
on Romans, really puts it well. He says faith
in this situation is not a subjective faith.
In other words, it's not faith in Christ, it's
the faith. He says it's a standard by which we're
to evaluate ourselves. This objective faith is
the biblical view of ourself. It's who you are
in Christ. It's how God has gifted you. It's
understanding his plan for you. It's like the
first three chapters of Ephesians. It's you need
to see yourself as loved, adopted, sealed by
the Spirit. You have a purpose. You're his workmanship.
Everything you need, you possess in Christ. You're
a son. You're a daughter. You're forgiven. You're
loved. That's who you are. Most of us don't think
that way about ourselves. That's why the world
has such pools on us. I'll be accepted. I'll
be significant if I look like that or if I act
like that or if I make so much money or if people
think this or if my kids do that. And it's a
losing proposition. First and foremost, we need
to think accurately about ourselves because this
is who God says that we are. We all know people
think too highly of themselves, right? It's called
arrogance or pride. And, you know, they kind
of strut in. Have you seen my new shoes? You
know, I was at Nordstrom's the other day. Or,
you know, I just hate it when it's just, it's
so busy this time of year in Cabo. You know?
The Lexus dealership gave me such a hard time.
I am just absolutely frustrated with, you know,
I think I'm going to go with the Bentley next
time. Now, it doesn't take long for us, and by
the way, those are our mild, funny illustrations.
Believe me, we figured out how to do that spiritually
with verses and posing just as well. But that
would be too convicting, so I didn't want to
go there. But we've all been around people that,
right, the superiority, and everything in you
goes, I don't want to be around that person.
They think too highly of themselves. See, actually,
they're a scared little boy or a scared little
girl that's afraid you won't like them, and they've
learned. That's how to hide. And then there's
other people that, you know, they think too lowly
of themselves. God could never use me. I'm worthless.
I don't have any gifts. I know the Bible says
there's gifts, but I know, you know, like the
whole human race, and he got to me and goes,
oh, I ran out. I don't have any gifts. I don't
have any value. If you knew where I came from,
there's no hope for me. Now, get this. If you
think too highly of yourself or too lowly of
yourself, who are you thinking about? You. See,
humility isn't thinking too high or too low.
Humility isn't thinking of yourself at all. The
Apostle Paul would say, consider others as more
important than yourself. It reminds me, I haven't
done a lot of this, but if you've ever gone bowling,
sometimes I go bowling, not very often, like
once every three or four years, and those guys
on TV, they make it curve. So, you know, I'm
going to try and make it curve. And I've done
research on this. I can curve it into the left
gutter. And just this is an experiment. How many
pins if you curve it into the left gutter do
you get? Zero. Well, then I try and overcompensate
and I try and throw to the right. And if it goes
in the right gutter, how many pins do you get?
See, it doesn't matter if you think too high
or if you think too low. You miss. Those are
gutter balls. God commands. By the way, this
is a command. He commands you and he commands
me to think. accurately, clearly, biblically
about who you really are. It starts with understanding
that command and then it takes a journey and
a process of renewing your mind because people
and the media and the world has been telling
you who you are your whole life and you got to
break out of that. And you say, well, why is
that so important? Because if you don't understand
who you are, you'll never understand where you
belong. Notice the very next verse, verses four
and five. It says, just as each of us has one
body, speaking of the physical body, and many
members like eyes and hands and feet, et cetera,
and these members do not all have the same function,
so in Christ we are many, form one body, and
each member belongs to all the others. Now in
your notes, right above just as, I want you to
write the word for, F -O -R. There's a little
preposition in Greek that when it comes, it means
reason. And again, to smooth out translation
sometimes, just as sounds good. But the reason,
he's saying the reason you must understand who
you are and think accurately about you is for,
just as the human body has many parts and all
don't have the same function, so we who are many
are one body in Christ and you fit. And if you
didn't know you were an I, you wouldn't know
where you fit. If you don't have a sober self
-assessment of you, you don't know where you
fit. If you ask the average person, what are
your top three strengths? What are your top three
weaknesses? Oh, three, I got nine. But here's
what he's saying. Imagine these fingers coming
out like this are your strengths. God gives you
strengths. that build your confidence and allow
you to understand you have a unique contribution
to help other people. Now, we live in a world
where we're not even supposed to have any weaknesses,
and so we sort of avoid, lie, deny, pretend.
But God gave you weaknesses to create dependency
and humility so there's interdependency, so other
people's strengths... Meet your weaknesses so
they do for you and in you what you couldn't
do. So you need people. You know what that creates?
Interdependency or humility. And it creates beauty.
Your assignment is I want you to really think
and pray about what are your top three strengths?
Not what people think, what you think. What's
God say? Maybe go to a few close people that
know you well that'll be honest. Some of us want
to write strengths because we think it would
make us a somebody. But what are your strengths?
That's a journey. And then actually write down,
what do you think your top three weaknesses are?
And when you get those, what you understand is,
instead of all this energy of covering them and
acting like you don't have them, you just realize
those are invitations by the God who made you
to let people come into your life and love you
in ways that you desperately needed. I had two
kids in college at one time, two kids in Christian
schools. And at that little window of time, I
remember reading the paper, Santa Cruz was the
most expensive place to live in America, more
than Manhattan, more than San Francisco. And
it was just crazy. And just trying to make it
was just very difficult. And so when something
broke down in our house, calling the repairman
wasn't an option. I didn't have any money to
call the repairman. And there was an elder in
our church, a very godly man, a retired school
teacher, but he was a shop teacher. He could
fix anything. And so when the dryer would go
out, and we bought a really older home that had
lots of repair, and when it rained, the rain
came in through one window, and every time the
dishwasher, I didn't know why my wife had upset
her so much, but we just put a towel under the
dishwasher so it would catch the water, take
out the dishes. It seemed to work fine to me,
but she really didn't think that was a good plan.
And so Dick would come over, and on my day off,
about 60 % of my day offs, Dick and I, that's
what I called it, Dick and I would fix things.
Which meant I drove to Home Depot with Dick,
I bought the parts, and then I would kneel down
next to Dick and hand him the tools and ask a
few questions. And finally he said, Chip, you're
never going to understand this anyway, but it's
okay. I learned more about being a man of God.
He had grown kids, he was about 20 years older
than me, about how to be a dad and how to be
a pastor from Dick than probably anybody in that
church. Why? Because I had a need. I mean, I
can't fix anything. I mean, I literally, I can't
fix anything. I mean, the iPad came out. I can
hardly get around an iPad. I'm so untechnical.
And I mean, you can fall off a truck and use
one of those. But that need created a relationship.
What would happen if you came to grips with the
real you, took off your mask of projection and
holograms, and recognized that God would want
to bring people into your life? And what if you
would take away your false humility and realize
some of you are really good at some things? Instead
of going, well, you know, I don't want to say
anything like I'm good at that because they might
think I'm trying to, they might think you're
just trying to love them. I'll tell you what,
it's God's design. It's powerful. It's beautiful.
It's amazing. What I just described can't happen
unless you're relationally connected and people
know you and you open up and you take those baby
steps of trust. Being in a small group will not
make you deep in relationship, but it's the container
in which happens most often where you really
share your life and your heart. And so who are
you? You need to think accurately about yourself
the way God sees you. Why? Because you have a
role to fulfill. You have a role to fulfill.
And you can't know what that role is unless you
know who you really are. And third, then you
say, well, what role is it? Where do I fit? Show
me, God. He's going to say, I've deposited in
you a primary spiritual gift. Are you ready?
A primary spiritual gift so that you can know.
You can do a lot of different things, but I want
you to take the lion's share of your energy in
the body of Christ and focus here. Look what
he says in verses 6 through 8. What are you supposed
to do? He says we have different gifts according
to what? According to the grace given to us.
So what they are for given by God, there's no
room for pride. Then he says, if a man's gift
is prophecy, let him use it in the proportion
of his faith. If it's serving in his service,
if it's teaching in his teaching, if it's encouraging
or counseling, let him encourage. If it's giving
or contributing to the needs of others, let him
give generously. If it's leadership, let him
do it diligently. If it's showing mercy, let
him do it cheerfully. We could go through and
we have a, on the back of your notes, there's
your divine design and we can help you learn
and discover what those gifts are and discover
what yours are. The point of this passage is
not explaining the gifts. What's the point? If
you're gifted to teach, no trick question, what
are you supposed to do? Teach. If you're gifted
to counsel and encourage, what are you supposed
to do? Counsel and encourage. Come on. If you're
gifted to lead, do it. diligently, right? The
point is, there's a lot of things you could do.
You are gifted and you have a unique something
to bring to the body of Christ. This is how you
make a matrix of where to spend your time and
life and energy and priorities. You don't have
to be on every committee and help everything
in the community and everything everywhere all
the time. You need to have a matrix. These are
my strengths. These are my weaknesses. Primary
spiritual gift. These are my priorities. This
is the season of life that I'm in. Okay, Lord,
line me up. And when you do that, you discover
more and more who you are. And you will discover
that you deeply belong. And you'll be doing what
he made you to do. And so the practice here,
put very simply, is to discover and deploy your
spiritual gifts. Discover and deploy your spiritual
gifts. You answer these questions by thinking
accurately about yourself, getting relationally
connected, discovering and deploying your spiritual
gifts. And as you turn to the last page, I just
want to remind you. Sometimes, you know, you
can dig down into these questions. I just want
to remind you. Remember what Jesus said? True
spirituality. Don't get caught up in the R's
or, you know, surrender to God, separate from
the world, sober self -assessment. Those are
great. But all those are what? Those are just
a profile so that you love God with all your
heart, soul, mind, and strength. You love others
as the way you're learning to begin to appreciate
and love you. And you'll never love you until
you begin to remember and grasp how God sees
you. Not how you see yourself. Not how your mom
saw you. Not how your dad who wasn't around did
or didn't see you. Not how your peers see you.
And so there's three things I want you never
to forget, okay? You can look up the verses.
These are ones if I was you, I would memorize.
In fact, I have. I want you to never, ever forget
who you really are. God uniquely created you.
You are eternally valuable. You are fearfully
and wonderfully made. This passage will go on
and talk about when you were in your mother's
womb, you were being fashioned. in the embryo
by the creator of the world because he had a
plan for you and he made you special just the
way you are and he not only loves you, are you
ready for this? God likes you. I meet people
all the time that are convinced, oh, I think
God loves me. I just don't think he likes me.
He's proud of you. He sings over you. The second
thing, never forget, is that God placed you in
his family. You are unconditionally accepted.
Ephesians 3, Paul prays, I pray that you might
grasp beyond understanding the height and depth
and length and breadth and know the love of Christ.
He loves you. He loves you regardless of where
you've been. He's regardless of what's happened
to you. He loves you even no matter what's happened
because of Christ's work on the cross, his death
that paid and covered your sin. If you're a follower
of Jesus, he's redeemed you and he loves you
and he takes your sins as far as the east is
from the west. You're the object of his affection.
If no one else cares about you, he does. And
third, never forget that God gifted you to fulfill
his purpose. You are irreplaceably significant.
You're significant. You're his workmanship created
in Christ Jesus, Ephesians 2 .10 says, unto a
good work that no one can uniquely do just like
you. When you think accurately about yourself
and it is hard work, it'll change you. It'll
change your marriage. If you're a parent, it'll
change your parenting. These are the kind of
things that you do with your kids. These are
the kind of things with all the pressures that
you renew their mind, that you at bedtime and
sit around the table. These are the kind of things
you do with a roommate realizing that you need
to be the right person, not find the right person.
And when you get an accurate view of yourself,
you're the most beautiful, attractive, winsome
person on the face of the earth because there's
no one like you. This is Living on the Edge with
Chip Ingram. Friend, for over 30 years, Living
on the Edge has been committed to one mission,
helping believers understand what it truly means
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channel when you're there. Well, that wraps up
today's episode. Don't miss the next Bible teaching
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