WEBVTT 00:00:11.470 --> 00:00:14.169 Today on Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. 00:00:14.230 --> 00:00:18.050 There are three questions everyone will ask and 00:00:18.050 --> 00:00:21.410 answer in your lifetime. Number one, who am I? 00:00:21.629 --> 00:00:24.870 Number two, where do I belong? And number three, 00:00:25.050 --> 00:00:29.230 what am I supposed to do? Answering those questions 00:00:29.230 --> 00:00:33.270 clearly and correctly will set the course for 00:00:33.270 --> 00:00:36.429 your entire life. Today, we're going to learn 00:00:36.429 --> 00:00:40.909 how to answer them well. Stay with me. Why do 00:00:40.909 --> 00:00:43.350 most people spend their lives trying to be someone 00:00:43.350 --> 00:00:46.329 else? Well, today on Living on the Edge, Chip 00:00:46.329 --> 00:00:48.310 Ingram addresses the three fundamental questions 00:00:48.310 --> 00:00:52.109 every human being asks. Who am I? Where do I 00:00:52.109 --> 00:00:55.630 belong? What am I supposed to do? Using the story 00:00:55.630 --> 00:00:58.909 of Adam and Eve's fall, Chip exposes three obstacles 00:00:58.909 --> 00:01:02.070 that keep us from honest self -assessment, shame, 00:01:02.310 --> 00:01:06.010 insecurity, and denial. But there's hope. God 00:01:06.010 --> 00:01:08.709 offers a pathway to discover your authentic identity 00:01:08.709 --> 00:01:12.030 and purpose. Well, here's Chip Ingram with today's 00:01:12.030 --> 00:01:14.650 message, How to Come to Grips with the Real You. 00:01:15.329 --> 00:01:18.049 Well, there's not a lot of things that psychologists 00:01:18.049 --> 00:01:22.670 and theologians agree on 100%. But psychologists 00:01:22.670 --> 00:01:26.170 and theologians all agree that from the time 00:01:26.170 --> 00:01:28.689 we're very small, actually until the day we die, 00:01:28.870 --> 00:01:32.709 we begin to consciously or unconsciously try 00:01:32.709 --> 00:01:35.930 to ask and answer three questions. Question number 00:01:35.930 --> 00:01:39.790 one, who am I? Question number two, where do 00:01:39.790 --> 00:01:42.510 I belong? And question number three, what am 00:01:42.510 --> 00:01:45.150 I supposed to do? I mean, these are the issues 00:01:45.150 --> 00:01:48.290 about identity, about security and significance. 00:01:48.849 --> 00:01:50.870 And we're on a journey. You know, you saw it. 00:01:50.870 --> 00:01:53.290 It's about becoming a Romans 12 Christian or 00:01:53.290 --> 00:01:56.049 true spirituality. And at the end of the day, 00:01:56.090 --> 00:01:57.870 we can call it all kind of different things. 00:01:58.209 --> 00:02:01.189 But Jesus made it very clear. Love the Lord your 00:02:01.189 --> 00:02:03.109 God with all your heart, with all your soul, 00:02:03.209 --> 00:02:06.150 with all your mind, with all your strength. And 00:02:06.150 --> 00:02:09.310 love your neighbor. like yourself. And in Romans 00:02:09.310 --> 00:02:12.289 chapter 12, it just gives us a snapshot of what 00:02:12.289 --> 00:02:14.849 an authentic follower of Jesus looks like in 00:02:14.849 --> 00:02:17.389 everyday life. And so in terms of loving God, 00:02:17.469 --> 00:02:20.009 he says, how do you love God? What does God want 00:02:20.009 --> 00:02:22.590 the most? He wants you and me, all that we are, 00:02:22.689 --> 00:02:25.689 all that we have, surrendered to him. And then 00:02:25.689 --> 00:02:27.889 realizing that it's a battle and the world system 00:02:27.889 --> 00:02:30.889 wants to seduce our heart away from our Savior, 00:02:31.050 --> 00:02:33.389 he wants us to be separate from the world's values. 00:02:34.199 --> 00:02:35.780 Well, now we're going to move from verse 1 and 00:02:35.780 --> 00:02:38.740 verse 2 to verse 3 through 8. And here what we're 00:02:38.740 --> 00:02:41.120 going to learn is, how do you come to grips with 00:02:41.120 --> 00:02:43.860 the real you? How do you look in the mirror, 00:02:43.879 --> 00:02:45.740 not just physically, but in the mirror of your 00:02:45.740 --> 00:02:48.580 soul, come to grips with who you really are, 00:02:48.680 --> 00:02:51.699 and say, I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. 00:02:51.800 --> 00:02:55.879 I matter. God has a plan for me. I'm not too 00:02:55.879 --> 00:02:58.599 short. I'm not too tall. I have the right personality. 00:02:59.240 --> 00:03:02.060 I have the right gifts. I don't need to be like 00:03:02.060 --> 00:03:06.060 anyone else. Here's the fact of the matter. Most 00:03:06.060 --> 00:03:08.860 people on all the earth spend the great majority 00:03:08.860 --> 00:03:12.960 of their time and energy trying to be like someone 00:03:12.960 --> 00:03:16.639 else or wishing they were someone else. And so 00:03:16.639 --> 00:03:19.460 we dress like someone else. We act like someone 00:03:19.460 --> 00:03:21.780 else. We have all these different models and 00:03:21.780 --> 00:03:25.099 we spend all of our energy and time trying to 00:03:25.099 --> 00:03:27.340 be a copy of something that's not nearly as attractive 00:03:27.340 --> 00:03:31.819 as the one unique person. Out of the almost 7 00:03:31.819 --> 00:03:35.379 billion people on this planet that have a unique 00:03:35.379 --> 00:03:40.180 DNA that's yours. And you're made exactly like 00:03:40.180 --> 00:03:43.840 you were made by the creator of all of life. 00:03:44.360 --> 00:03:47.199 Because he's got a plan for you. And he's gifted 00:03:47.199 --> 00:03:49.960 you. And he wants to do something great in you. 00:03:50.180 --> 00:03:53.219 And then something significant through you. So 00:03:53.219 --> 00:03:54.500 we're going to roll up our sleeves and we're 00:03:54.500 --> 00:03:56.580 going to ask and answer the question. How do 00:03:56.580 --> 00:03:58.379 you come to grips with the real you? So open 00:03:58.379 --> 00:04:00.539 your teaching notes, if you will, and let's jump 00:04:00.539 --> 00:04:03.240 into those three questions. Question number one, 00:04:03.259 --> 00:04:07.159 who am I? What's our identity? You're always 00:04:07.159 --> 00:04:09.860 asking this question. And by the way, for those 00:04:09.860 --> 00:04:12.039 of you who are parents, so are your kids. The 00:04:12.039 --> 00:04:13.939 second big question we're always asking are, 00:04:13.979 --> 00:04:15.860 where do I belong? And this is about security. 00:04:17.199 --> 00:04:20.500 Every person is made by the God of the universe 00:04:20.500 --> 00:04:24.459 to need to belong, to need to understand who 00:04:24.459 --> 00:04:27.500 you really are. And we go about it in some ways 00:04:27.500 --> 00:04:30.680 sometimes that are very dysfunctional. In fact, 00:04:30.759 --> 00:04:33.420 sometimes very dangerous. Third question we're 00:04:33.420 --> 00:04:35.600 asking is, why am I here? What am I supposed 00:04:35.600 --> 00:04:38.779 to do? I mean, it's fundamental. It's so fundamental 00:04:38.779 --> 00:04:41.560 and so overwhelming, sometimes we blow past this 00:04:41.560 --> 00:04:44.100 one. I mean, when's the last time you actually 00:04:44.100 --> 00:04:48.800 stopped and said, why am I on this planet? What 00:04:48.800 --> 00:04:53.779 is the meaning of life for me? A big part of 00:04:53.779 --> 00:04:56.259 the whole midlife crisis. These people looking 00:04:56.259 --> 00:04:58.540 in the rearview mirror and going, I've not only 00:04:58.540 --> 00:05:01.339 not asked that question when I start thinking 00:05:01.339 --> 00:05:03.980 about it very deeply, I don't like the answer. 00:05:04.220 --> 00:05:07.600 Because I not only don't know, but I haven't 00:05:07.600 --> 00:05:10.660 given much energy or time or track record to 00:05:10.660 --> 00:05:13.660 what I think probably matters most. Now, before 00:05:13.660 --> 00:05:17.480 you get too down on yourself, right? Because 00:05:17.480 --> 00:05:20.439 honestly, those are big, aren't they? Those are 00:05:20.439 --> 00:05:22.680 so big. Isn't it interesting the biggest issues 00:05:22.680 --> 00:05:25.720 in life you can sort of shove down because they're 00:05:25.720 --> 00:05:28.699 so hard to answer? It's like, well, yeah, yeah, 00:05:28.720 --> 00:05:32.139 yeah. I mean, who here would say, who am I really 00:05:32.139 --> 00:05:33.959 and where do I belong and what am I supposed 00:05:33.959 --> 00:05:35.379 to do? Come on, Chip, would you get to something 00:05:35.379 --> 00:05:40.259 serious? Right? There's no bigger questions than 00:05:40.259 --> 00:05:43.220 that. And yet, the great majority of people have 00:05:43.220 --> 00:05:45.120 not thought deeply or could give you good, clear 00:05:45.120 --> 00:05:49.550 answers to that. But let me tell you why. Let 00:05:49.550 --> 00:05:52.470 me explain why those are so hard to answer. Turn 00:05:52.470 --> 00:05:54.850 in your notes to page two. Something happened. 00:05:55.370 --> 00:05:57.589 Something happened to our first parents that 00:05:57.589 --> 00:06:01.290 we've inherited from them that make these three 00:06:01.290 --> 00:06:06.149 questions very hard to answer. It's why the world 00:06:06.149 --> 00:06:09.310 has such a pull on us. It's why we settle for 00:06:09.310 --> 00:06:11.790 lots of superficial answers to those things, 00:06:11.970 --> 00:06:13.970 knowing down deep in our soul they don't really 00:06:13.970 --> 00:06:18.050 satisfy. The passage is Genesis chapter three. 00:06:18.569 --> 00:06:22.509 The context is the cosmic coup has occurred. 00:06:23.089 --> 00:06:25.810 The most loving being, the most generous being, 00:06:25.970 --> 00:06:28.629 the giver of all life, the creator of the universe, 00:06:28.750 --> 00:06:32.410 Yahweh God, has created mankind and told them 00:06:32.410 --> 00:06:34.629 that all that I have and everything's available, 00:06:34.829 --> 00:06:37.509 there's only one small limitation, don't eat 00:06:37.509 --> 00:06:42.189 from that tree. And our parents, first by deception, 00:06:42.310 --> 00:06:44.829 then by act of the will, it was a coup, it was 00:06:44.829 --> 00:06:48.120 a rebellion. And sin entered the world. The theologians 00:06:48.120 --> 00:06:52.300 call it the fall of man. And we pick up the story 00:06:52.300 --> 00:06:56.120 and we find out what happened. And as we pick 00:06:56.120 --> 00:06:57.920 up the story, you'll discover why for you and 00:06:57.920 --> 00:07:00.600 me, it's really hard to answer those questions 00:07:00.600 --> 00:07:04.860 well. They heard the sound of the Lord God walking 00:07:04.860 --> 00:07:07.160 in the garden in the cool of the day. And the 00:07:07.160 --> 00:07:10.420 man and his wife hid themselves from the presence 00:07:10.420 --> 00:07:12.800 of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 00:07:13.459 --> 00:07:16.339 It's the first time this has ever happened. They 00:07:16.339 --> 00:07:18.779 ran to meet him. They lived in a perfect environment. 00:07:19.240 --> 00:07:21.879 They were naked emotionally. They were naked 00:07:21.879 --> 00:07:24.040 spiritually. They were naked physically. Some 00:07:24.040 --> 00:07:26.139 theologians think there was radiation of light 00:07:26.139 --> 00:07:28.420 that came out from them before the fall even. 00:07:28.740 --> 00:07:31.379 There was absolute, complete intimacy with God, 00:07:31.519 --> 00:07:33.620 intimacy and vulnerability with one another, 00:07:33.819 --> 00:07:37.819 unconditional acceptance. Life was perfect. And 00:07:37.819 --> 00:07:39.660 now they hear God coming, and for the first time, 00:07:39.660 --> 00:07:41.879 they hide. Then the Lord God called to the man 00:07:41.879 --> 00:07:43.759 and said to him, where are you? By the way, this 00:07:43.759 --> 00:07:46.500 is not an informational question. This is diagnostic. 00:07:46.579 --> 00:07:49.699 God knew where he was. He's going to ask a series 00:07:49.699 --> 00:07:53.459 of questions to help Adam discover where he's 00:07:53.459 --> 00:07:57.980 really at. Adam said, I heard the sound of you 00:07:57.980 --> 00:08:01.079 in the garden. I was afraid because I was naked, 00:08:01.120 --> 00:08:03.620 so I hid myself. If you've got a pen, will you 00:08:03.620 --> 00:08:06.740 pull it out and circle afraid, naked, and hid? 00:08:07.439 --> 00:08:09.839 That'll come back later. You're going to find 00:08:09.839 --> 00:08:12.180 there's a relational pattern in that that you 00:08:12.180 --> 00:08:16.560 have and I have and every human being has. And 00:08:16.560 --> 00:08:18.519 God said, who told you that you were naked? Have 00:08:18.519 --> 00:08:20.279 you eaten from the tree of which I've commanded 00:08:20.279 --> 00:08:23.560 you not to eat? And so he's going to answer God. 00:08:24.160 --> 00:08:26.199 And it's very interesting. If you happen to be 00:08:26.199 --> 00:08:29.980 his wife, this is not a good moment. What you're 00:08:29.980 --> 00:08:32.700 going to learn is you can't trust this guy. For 00:08:32.700 --> 00:08:34.320 the first time ever, what you're going to learn 00:08:34.320 --> 00:08:36.500 when the pressure comes, what he's going to do 00:08:36.500 --> 00:08:39.799 instead of own his stuff and be a man, he's going 00:08:39.799 --> 00:08:43.460 to be passive and he's going to blame you. And 00:08:43.460 --> 00:08:47.379 so Eve is. probably standing there, knowing the 00:08:47.379 --> 00:08:49.659 whole story, and she's going to hear her husband 00:08:49.659 --> 00:08:53.740 say to God, the woman that you gave me to be 00:08:53.740 --> 00:08:56.159 with me, she gave me from the tree and I ate 00:08:56.159 --> 00:08:59.720 it. Translation, it's not my fault, it's her 00:08:59.720 --> 00:09:02.100 fault, and by the way, you're the one who gave 00:09:02.100 --> 00:09:04.639 her to me, so let's do the math. Not me, it's 00:09:04.639 --> 00:09:08.480 her, it's your fault, really, God. And so God 00:09:08.480 --> 00:09:11.580 moves on with the progression of diagnostic questions. 00:09:12.080 --> 00:09:14.629 Then the Lord God said to the woman, What is 00:09:14.629 --> 00:09:17.129 this that you have done? And the woman, being 00:09:17.129 --> 00:09:21.549 a very quick study, says, the serpent deceived 00:09:21.549 --> 00:09:24.330 me and I ate. In other words, it's not my fault 00:09:24.330 --> 00:09:26.909 either. It's the serpent's fault. And who made 00:09:26.909 --> 00:09:29.389 this garden? And who made serpents? And you know 00:09:29.389 --> 00:09:34.169 what? All the problems in life are God's. Isn't 00:09:34.169 --> 00:09:37.529 it interesting a lot hasn't changed? When there's 00:09:37.529 --> 00:09:40.190 a tragedy, when there's a difficulty, when something 00:09:40.190 --> 00:09:42.470 happens in the world, Isn't it interesting as 00:09:42.470 --> 00:09:44.649 human beings, what I always hear is, how could 00:09:44.649 --> 00:09:47.870 God let this happen? How come every single day, 00:09:47.909 --> 00:09:50.090 how could God let me breathe? How could God give 00:09:50.090 --> 00:09:51.990 me this? I mean, we don't like list every good 00:09:51.990 --> 00:09:53.870 thing that he's ever done, but anything goes 00:09:53.870 --> 00:09:55.909 wrong. Well, good boy, I'll tell you what, right? 00:09:57.669 --> 00:10:00.370 You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip 00:10:00.370 --> 00:10:02.509 Ingram. We're halfway through today's message, 00:10:02.590 --> 00:10:05.710 so don't go anywhere just yet. Today's insightful 00:10:05.710 --> 00:10:08.350 lesson comes from our series called God's Dream 00:10:08.350 --> 00:10:11.080 for Your Life. Want to dig deeper into these 00:10:11.080 --> 00:10:13.799 truths? Well, the full series is ready for you 00:10:13.799 --> 00:10:18.059 online at livingontheedge .org. You'll discover 00:10:18.059 --> 00:10:20.740 extra teaching content, downloadable materials, 00:10:21.059 --> 00:10:23.899 and discussion guides to take you further. Find 00:10:23.899 --> 00:10:27.639 it all at livingontheedge .org. Well, now let's 00:10:27.639 --> 00:10:30.639 rejoin Chip with today's message. Three obstacles 00:10:30.639 --> 00:10:33.100 you'll see in this passage about why it's so 00:10:33.100 --> 00:10:36.080 hard to come to grips with the real you. First 00:10:36.080 --> 00:10:39.960 is fear rooted in shame. Notice he says, I was 00:10:39.960 --> 00:10:45.600 afraid. Well, why? I was afraid because now for 00:10:45.600 --> 00:10:49.000 the first time ever, Adam realizes he's naked. 00:10:49.340 --> 00:10:52.100 And don't, of course, it's physical, but well, 00:10:52.120 --> 00:10:55.000 well beyond. What he realizes is he's exposed. 00:10:55.879 --> 00:10:59.700 What he realizes when he meets the eyes of someone 00:10:59.700 --> 00:11:02.159 who sees absolutely perfect through everything, 00:11:02.279 --> 00:11:06.679 he doesn't measure up. There's a self -consciousness 00:11:06.679 --> 00:11:10.899 that has occurred. And can I tell you that this 00:11:10.899 --> 00:11:14.039 is how we relate to God often, and this is how 00:11:14.039 --> 00:11:17.500 we relate to one another, is that the primary 00:11:17.500 --> 00:11:20.279 means of relating to other human beings and God 00:11:20.279 --> 00:11:26.259 is fear, and it's rooted in shame. And so we 00:11:26.259 --> 00:11:29.279 relate to one another in fear and spend an inordinate 00:11:29.279 --> 00:11:34.919 amount of energy posing and image managing. And 00:11:34.919 --> 00:11:37.799 since we're not sure who we really are, We want 00:11:37.799 --> 00:11:40.759 to be liked by other people, so I call them personality 00:11:40.759 --> 00:11:44.179 holograms. Because of your background and your 00:11:44.179 --> 00:11:45.960 gifts and the part of the country you grew up 00:11:45.960 --> 00:11:48.700 in and all these factors, somewhere along the 00:11:48.700 --> 00:11:51.940 world you learned people in certain groups like 00:11:51.940 --> 00:11:54.879 this, and so you learn to act like that. And 00:11:54.879 --> 00:11:57.360 dress like that. And need to drive that. And 00:11:57.360 --> 00:11:59.320 your kids need to go to this school. And you 00:11:59.320 --> 00:12:01.220 have all these things that somehow, someway, 00:12:01.279 --> 00:12:04.399 if all that is lined up, because you get affirmation 00:12:04.399 --> 00:12:06.200 from that. You get approval from that. You're 00:12:06.200 --> 00:12:09.399 admired by people. Here's the problem. What you 00:12:09.399 --> 00:12:11.679 know is this hologram that you're projecting 00:12:11.679 --> 00:12:14.139 of this person that has it kind of together and 00:12:14.139 --> 00:12:16.179 is loving and is kind and is a good whatever. 00:12:17.340 --> 00:12:19.580 You know down deep in your soul that really doesn't 00:12:19.580 --> 00:12:21.360 represent all of you, let alone some, a lot of 00:12:21.360 --> 00:12:24.759 the real you. And even when people love the hologram, 00:12:24.879 --> 00:12:26.740 you don't get love because you know that's not 00:12:26.740 --> 00:12:30.779 you. And that's why we find some of the people 00:12:30.779 --> 00:12:32.940 that are most beautiful and the most successful, 00:12:33.000 --> 00:12:35.399 and we find them doing things that we scratch 00:12:35.399 --> 00:12:37.460 our head and say, how could someone that has 00:12:37.460 --> 00:12:39.960 all the things we all long for kill themselves 00:12:39.960 --> 00:12:42.820 or destroy their life with an addiction? It's 00:12:42.820 --> 00:12:46.799 that discrepancy in their soul. It's fear rooted 00:12:46.799 --> 00:12:49.679 in shame. Notice the second thing that happens 00:12:49.679 --> 00:12:51.940 in this. Not only did they say I was afraid, 00:12:52.059 --> 00:12:55.639 he says hiding rooted in insecurity. See, when 00:12:55.639 --> 00:12:58.519 you're naked, you feel insecure. You feel inadequate. 00:12:59.299 --> 00:13:01.919 And so you hide. Not only were you afraid, but 00:13:01.919 --> 00:13:04.860 I hide the real me from you and you hide the 00:13:04.860 --> 00:13:08.700 real you from others and from God. Isn't it amazing 00:13:08.700 --> 00:13:10.919 when you don't feel like praying, especially 00:13:10.919 --> 00:13:14.340 if you down deep feel, you know, sort of that 00:13:14.340 --> 00:13:17.519 low grade guilt in your soul. Maybe it's not 00:13:17.519 --> 00:13:20.509 like really big sins, but. sort of the little 00:13:20.509 --> 00:13:22.230 ones start adding up, and you just don't feel 00:13:22.230 --> 00:13:25.090 very motivated to pray. I don't know about you, 00:13:25.129 --> 00:13:27.429 but what I realize is I don't want to go talk 00:13:27.429 --> 00:13:29.210 to God right now because I know how this is going 00:13:29.210 --> 00:13:34.049 to go. Right? He's going to cause me to be honest, 00:13:34.090 --> 00:13:36.649 expose me for who I am, and I don't like that. 00:13:36.850 --> 00:13:39.110 And so I play this game like, well, if I don't 00:13:39.110 --> 00:13:40.750 really talk to him very deeply right now, he 00:13:40.750 --> 00:13:44.490 doesn't really know. But don't you do that with 00:13:44.490 --> 00:13:45.850 your mates, those of you that are married? Don't 00:13:45.850 --> 00:13:47.490 you do it with your roommates? Don't you do that 00:13:47.490 --> 00:13:50.220 with your best friends? Don't we play that game? 00:13:50.340 --> 00:13:53.559 We have fear that's rooted in shame and then 00:13:53.559 --> 00:13:56.899 we hide in our insecurity. And can I tell you 00:13:56.899 --> 00:13:58.720 something? Here's a great little message to learn. 00:13:58.779 --> 00:14:02.700 This is a freedom message for me. Everyone on 00:14:02.700 --> 00:14:08.019 the earth is desperately insecure. And you cover 00:14:08.019 --> 00:14:11.399 it one way. I cover it one way. Some people cover 00:14:11.399 --> 00:14:12.840 it with, you know, what they've done and their 00:14:12.840 --> 00:14:15.919 performance and their success and other people 00:14:15.919 --> 00:14:19.950 with their story that they tell. But you know 00:14:19.950 --> 00:14:23.950 what? It's called the fall. And you relate and 00:14:23.950 --> 00:14:29.529 I relate by hiding. And we hide because we're 00:14:29.529 --> 00:14:34.529 insecure. The third relational implication of 00:14:34.529 --> 00:14:36.750 why it's so hard to answer these questions is 00:14:36.750 --> 00:14:40.429 blaming rooted in denial. The man says it's the 00:14:40.429 --> 00:14:44.370 woman. The woman says it's the serpent. But ultimately 00:14:44.370 --> 00:14:50.779 they both, they blame God. Now here's, before 00:14:50.779 --> 00:14:54.059 we go on, because we're going to talk about Romans 00:14:54.059 --> 00:14:58.059 chapter 12, verses 3 through 8, is actually going 00:14:58.059 --> 00:15:01.320 to help you discover. I mean, the tipping point 00:15:01.320 --> 00:15:04.759 of discovering who you are, where you belong, 00:15:05.039 --> 00:15:08.159 and what you're supposed to do. Verse 3 will 00:15:08.159 --> 00:15:09.899 tell us in just a minute who you are. Verses 00:15:09.899 --> 00:15:12.039 4 and 5 will say where you belong. And verses 00:15:12.039 --> 00:15:13.740 6 through 8 will be the beginning of you getting 00:15:13.740 --> 00:15:16.740 really clear on your role and what you're supposed 00:15:16.740 --> 00:15:19.480 to do. But I want to tell you kind of a follow 00:15:19.480 --> 00:15:21.200 -up story because it's one thing to say, okay, 00:15:21.259 --> 00:15:22.580 everyone's desperately insecure. What do you 00:15:22.580 --> 00:15:26.480 do with that? Must have been 10, 15 years later, 00:15:26.559 --> 00:15:29.840 and I'm on this journey. In fact, on a three 00:15:29.840 --> 00:15:32.539 -by -five card I wrote shortly after that, it's 00:15:32.539 --> 00:15:34.980 just my desire cards to renew my mind. Lord, 00:15:35.200 --> 00:15:38.519 I long to be more authentic in every relationship 00:15:38.519 --> 00:15:43.649 by your power and your grace. And I was invited 00:15:43.649 --> 00:15:46.070 to, I found out later, a very exclusive dinner. 00:15:46.149 --> 00:15:47.850 It's called the National Religious Broadcasters. 00:15:47.870 --> 00:15:50.429 And they had probably the top maybe 20 or 30 00:15:50.429 --> 00:15:52.970 communicators in America with their wives. And 00:15:52.970 --> 00:15:56.129 these people put on this dinner. And I had no 00:15:56.129 --> 00:15:58.250 idea, you know, like we're on 10 stations or 00:15:58.250 --> 00:16:00.190 I don't know. It was not like, I mean, it was 00:16:00.190 --> 00:16:02.529 like Chuck Swindoll's on every station has written 00:16:02.529 --> 00:16:05.509 25 or 30 books and he's sort of the voice of 00:16:05.509 --> 00:16:08.009 America and still going strong. And so I come 00:16:08.009 --> 00:16:10.350 to this dinner with my wife. It is like, it made 00:16:10.350 --> 00:16:13.649 when I was intimidated before seem like, you 00:16:13.649 --> 00:16:16.769 know, just baby steps. And so of all things, 00:16:16.809 --> 00:16:19.029 there's, you know, they go around and they have 00:16:19.029 --> 00:16:21.730 a little nameplate and, you know, and so I sit 00:16:21.730 --> 00:16:24.730 down and the nameplate next to me is Chuck Swindoll. 00:16:26.230 --> 00:16:30.710 and I'm going, oh, no, and so, you know, I have 00:16:30.710 --> 00:16:32.210 time, and I'm sitting there, and I, you know, 00:16:32.210 --> 00:16:34.289 for me, too, I'm from California, and, you know, 00:16:34.330 --> 00:16:36.809 I got a tie on and a coat, and I'm totally uncomfortable 00:16:36.809 --> 00:16:38.789 just in how I'm dressed, and, you know, it's 00:16:38.789 --> 00:16:41.230 real fancy, and it's in real fancy place, and, 00:16:41.250 --> 00:16:43.250 you know, he sits down, I sit down, and I'm sitting 00:16:43.250 --> 00:16:44.549 there thinking, what am I going to do? Because, 00:16:44.610 --> 00:16:47.809 I mean, I'm not thinking I'm insecure. I'm feeling 00:16:47.809 --> 00:16:50.570 very insecure, and so I go through my mind about, 00:16:50.629 --> 00:16:53.309 like, how should I do this? Maybe I'll take the 00:16:53.720 --> 00:16:56.779 Hey, Chuck, how's it going, man? Nah, I don't 00:16:56.779 --> 00:17:00.580 think that'll work. How about the real, excuse 00:17:00.580 --> 00:17:03.200 me, Dr. Swindoll, how's the ministry going? Nah, 00:17:03.240 --> 00:17:04.539 I don't think that'll work. I mean, literally, 00:17:05.000 --> 00:17:06.599 you know, don't you all do this? Like, what am 00:17:06.599 --> 00:17:09.319 I going to do in this situation? And I remembered 00:17:09.319 --> 00:17:12.299 this. Everyone's desperately insecure. I can't 00:17:12.299 --> 00:17:14.700 really believe he is, but I'm thinking the Bible's 00:17:14.700 --> 00:17:18.960 true. So I just thought, I'm going to keep applying 00:17:18.960 --> 00:17:21.660 what I've been learning. And I tapped him on 00:17:21.660 --> 00:17:24.690 the shoulder. He turned, said, excuse me, Mr. 00:17:24.809 --> 00:17:29.170 Swindoll, this is my first time here. And I just 00:17:29.170 --> 00:17:31.589 have to tell you, I'm way over my head. This 00:17:31.589 --> 00:17:34.569 is very intimidating. We're not on very many 00:17:34.569 --> 00:17:38.069 stations. I don't not only know how to act, I 00:17:38.069 --> 00:17:39.369 don't know how to do this whole broadcasting 00:17:39.369 --> 00:17:44.069 thing. Could you give me a couple tips? And I'll 00:17:44.069 --> 00:17:46.609 never forget, he pulled back his chair, put his 00:17:46.609 --> 00:17:49.269 arm around me like this. We got back, Chip. Call 00:17:49.269 --> 00:17:52.009 me Chuck. And for the next half hour, he began 00:17:52.009 --> 00:17:54.109 to explain the journey. And then for the next 00:17:54.109 --> 00:17:56.450 six or seven years, I went to that dinner. Chip, 00:17:56.650 --> 00:17:58.190 come here. And he would kind of say, well, tell 00:17:58.190 --> 00:17:59.670 me what's happening. And then he would coach 00:17:59.670 --> 00:18:05.809 me. And why? I could have posed. I could have 00:18:05.809 --> 00:18:11.289 said, do you understand? We were all on one station. 00:18:11.329 --> 00:18:13.009 We're on seven stations now. What do you think? 00:18:13.630 --> 00:18:15.210 Oh, yeah, worldwide. Well, that's pretty good, 00:18:15.269 --> 00:18:18.089 you know. But do you understand what happens 00:18:18.089 --> 00:18:20.390 when you take off your mask and you're just real 00:18:20.390 --> 00:18:22.369 and you're honest with where you're really at? 00:18:22.509 --> 00:18:24.390 Do you know what it is? You know who's coming 00:18:24.390 --> 00:18:28.089 out? The most attractive person on the planet 00:18:28.089 --> 00:18:33.490 that God made, the real you. Now look in your 00:18:33.490 --> 00:18:35.309 notes because here's what I want. I want to take 00:18:35.309 --> 00:18:38.549 you on a journey to the beginning points of discovering 00:18:38.549 --> 00:18:41.910 who you really are, where you really belong, 00:18:42.069 --> 00:18:47.029 and then what you're supposed to do. God's answer 00:18:47.029 --> 00:18:51.150 to the dysfunctional pattern of hiding and shame 00:18:51.150 --> 00:18:55.210 and fear and denial is this. Who are you, verse 00:18:55.210 --> 00:18:57.609 3, for by the grace of God given to me, I say 00:18:57.609 --> 00:18:59.970 to everyone among you, do not think of yourself 00:18:59.970 --> 00:19:02.509 more highly than you ought to think, but rather 00:19:02.509 --> 00:19:04.910 think of yourself with sober judgment in accordance 00:19:04.910 --> 00:19:06.990 with the measure of faith God has given you. 00:19:07.309 --> 00:19:09.569 If you have that pen, pull it out, underline 00:19:09.569 --> 00:19:12.970 the word think. Then when you get to then you 00:19:12.970 --> 00:19:16.579 ought, underline the word ought. but rather think, 00:19:16.740 --> 00:19:18.779 underline the word think, and then underline 00:19:18.779 --> 00:19:22.319 sober judgment. So you have think, ought, think, 00:19:22.440 --> 00:19:25.000 and sober judgment. You underlined ought because 00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:26.880 in the original language it's how you ought to 00:19:26.880 --> 00:19:29.079 think, but as they translated it for just a smoother 00:19:29.079 --> 00:19:33.880 reading, they omitted that word. The same root 00:19:33.880 --> 00:19:36.119 word, think, think, think, and sober judgment 00:19:36.119 --> 00:19:38.480 is all the same root word. The word sober judgment 00:19:38.480 --> 00:19:42.380 gives us the best idea. It's don't think of yourself 00:19:42.380 --> 00:19:45.880 like someone who's drunk. When a person's drunk, 00:19:46.019 --> 00:19:48.740 what do they do? There's an external influence 00:19:48.740 --> 00:19:51.220 that gets inside of them that cause them to look 00:19:51.220 --> 00:19:53.799 at life in a way that's not accurate. So he says, 00:19:53.859 --> 00:19:55.880 don't be drunk by the world system. Don't be 00:19:55.880 --> 00:19:57.900 drunk by what people think. Don't be drunk by 00:19:57.900 --> 00:19:59.940 what your family tells you. You need to have 00:19:59.940 --> 00:20:04.420 a sober self -assessment. You need to think accurately 00:20:04.420 --> 00:20:07.519 about yourself. That's the first command. You 00:20:07.519 --> 00:20:10.539 need to come to the point where physically, relationally, 00:20:10.559 --> 00:20:13.380 spiritually, emotionally, your soul, you can 00:20:13.380 --> 00:20:16.539 look in the actual mirror and say, I'm fearfully 00:20:16.539 --> 00:20:19.519 and wonderfully made. And come to the point where 00:20:19.519 --> 00:20:22.539 these are my strengths, these are my weaknesses, 00:20:22.599 --> 00:20:26.220 God -given, this is how he's given me, but where 00:20:26.220 --> 00:20:28.960 you think accurately about yourself. Notice, 00:20:28.980 --> 00:20:34.880 don't think too highly of yourself. Don't think 00:20:34.880 --> 00:20:38.720 too lowly of yourself, but to think of a sober 00:20:38.720 --> 00:20:41.200 or accurate judgment. And then this little phrase, 00:20:41.400 --> 00:20:43.960 notice it says, according to the measure of faith 00:20:43.960 --> 00:20:46.960 that God's given you. Newell, in his commentary 00:20:46.960 --> 00:20:49.779 on Romans, really puts it well. He says faith 00:20:49.779 --> 00:20:52.900 in this situation is not a subjective faith. 00:20:52.980 --> 00:20:54.759 In other words, it's not faith in Christ, it's 00:20:54.759 --> 00:20:57.779 the faith. He says it's a standard by which we're 00:20:57.779 --> 00:21:01.000 to evaluate ourselves. This objective faith is 00:21:01.000 --> 00:21:04.150 the biblical view of ourself. It's who you are 00:21:04.150 --> 00:21:07.170 in Christ. It's how God has gifted you. It's 00:21:07.170 --> 00:21:09.490 understanding his plan for you. It's like the 00:21:09.490 --> 00:21:12.390 first three chapters of Ephesians. It's you need 00:21:12.390 --> 00:21:15.930 to see yourself as loved, adopted, sealed by 00:21:15.930 --> 00:21:18.869 the Spirit. You have a purpose. You're his workmanship. 00:21:21.589 --> 00:21:24.390 This is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. 00:21:24.509 --> 00:21:27.170 Chip has more to share in just a moment. But 00:21:27.170 --> 00:21:29.369 remember, if you missed any part of today's lesson 00:21:29.369 --> 00:21:31.930 or just want to revisit what you've heard, you 00:21:31.930 --> 00:21:35.210 can always find these lessons online at livingontheedge 00:21:35.210 --> 00:21:39.009 .org. Throughout this series, God's Dream for 00:21:39.009 --> 00:21:42.109 Your Life, we've explored surrender, mind renewal, 00:21:42.390 --> 00:21:45.369 and authentic identity. These aren't abstract 00:21:45.369 --> 00:21:48.569 concepts. They're practical truths that change 00:21:48.569 --> 00:21:51.940 how you live every single day. For more than 00:21:51.940 --> 00:21:54.500 30 years, Living on the Edge has helped believers 00:21:54.500 --> 00:21:57.359 stop pretending and start living authentically. 00:21:57.500 --> 00:22:00.299 Not through superficial self -help, but through 00:22:00.299 --> 00:22:02.819 deep biblical teaching that addresses who you 00:22:02.819 --> 00:22:05.599 really are in Christ. Right now, people across 00:22:05.599 --> 00:22:08.019 the country are breaking free from the exhausting 00:22:08.019 --> 00:22:11.750 cycle of performance and image management. They're 00:22:11.750 --> 00:22:13.910 discovering they don't need to be anyone else. 00:22:14.049 --> 00:22:17.430 God made them exactly as He intended. This freedom 00:22:17.430 --> 00:22:20.190 spreads because faithful partners make this Bible 00:22:20.190 --> 00:22:36.029 teaching accessible. Every contribution matters 00:22:36.029 --> 00:22:39.009 because every gift helps someone discover their 00:22:39.009 --> 00:22:42.430 God -given identity and purpose. You can become 00:22:42.430 --> 00:22:45.069 a monthly partner right now by simply going online 00:22:45.069 --> 00:22:48.589 to livingontheedge .org or send your one -time 00:22:48.589 --> 00:22:51.130 gift through the mail to Living on the Edge, 00:22:51.289 --> 00:22:57.329 P .O. Box 3007, Atlanta, Georgia 30024. You can 00:22:57.329 --> 00:23:03.230 also call us at 888 -333 -6003. Well, now here's 00:23:03.230 --> 00:23:05.970 Chip. As we wrap up today's program, I'd like 00:23:05.970 --> 00:23:09.609 you to maybe take just a minute and ponder what 00:23:09.609 --> 00:23:12.660 you've heard. When I talked about The Strong 00:23:12.660 --> 00:23:14.759 and the Weak, the book, and how I learned I was 00:23:14.759 --> 00:23:17.039 desperately insecure, and I think I probably 00:23:17.039 --> 00:23:20.019 had a little too much fun teaching this because 00:23:20.019 --> 00:23:22.519 I was really intimidated by really powerful, 00:23:22.599 --> 00:23:25.400 wealthy people. And then I got to where when 00:23:25.400 --> 00:23:28.859 I saw them posing and powering up, I kind of 00:23:28.859 --> 00:23:30.599 had this little funny thing going inside like, 00:23:30.700 --> 00:23:33.579 wow, that dude is really insecure just like me. 00:23:33.799 --> 00:23:37.000 But it freed me up. And there's some of you that 00:23:37.000 --> 00:23:39.539 are in workplaces or even family relationships 00:23:39.690 --> 00:23:43.630 or dealing with life in such a way. And you have 00:23:43.630 --> 00:23:46.049 this picture that you're the only one that has 00:23:46.049 --> 00:23:48.109 these fears. You're the only one that's insecure. 00:23:48.369 --> 00:23:51.710 Or you think weakness or insecurity is something 00:23:51.710 --> 00:23:54.690 that is just unique to you and there's something 00:23:54.690 --> 00:23:57.250 wrong with you. Instead of, there's something 00:23:57.250 --> 00:23:59.630 wrong with the human race. And because of the 00:23:59.630 --> 00:24:02.150 fall, we have been hiding. Because of the fall, 00:24:02.329 --> 00:24:05.150 we do have shame. And I want you to know, number 00:24:05.150 --> 00:24:08.289 one, Christ is the answer. But I've had the opportunity 00:24:08.289 --> 00:24:11.180 to take I cannot tell you how many groups of 00:24:11.180 --> 00:24:14.500 people through this small group study. And one 00:24:14.500 --> 00:24:16.799 of the things that just blows my mind, especially 00:24:16.799 --> 00:24:19.440 with the 20 and 30 -year -olds, is when we get 00:24:19.440 --> 00:24:22.660 to a sober self -assessment and people have this 00:24:22.660 --> 00:24:25.119 aha moment that I don't have to pose, I don't 00:24:25.119 --> 00:24:27.720 have to pretend that the most attractive person 00:24:27.720 --> 00:24:30.680 in all the world is the person God made me. It 00:24:30.680 --> 00:24:34.369 is a freedom. It is so liberating. This needs 00:24:34.369 --> 00:24:36.809 to sink from your head to your heart because 00:24:36.809 --> 00:24:38.849 you know what? You can get freed up and have 00:24:38.849 --> 00:24:41.210 a lot more fun in life and just might be a lot 00:24:41.210 --> 00:24:44.269 more useful to God. I'm Dave Drewy and we'll 00:24:44.269 --> 00:24:46.289 see you again next time when we continue our 00:24:46.289 --> 00:24:49.309 study on God's dream for your life. Don't miss 00:24:49.309 --> 00:24:55.569 it next time here on Living on the Edge. Today's 00:24:55.569 --> 00:24:58.109 program is produced and sponsored by Living on 00:24:58.109 --> 00:24:58.630 the Edge.