Today on Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram.
There are few things in all the world that will
put more pressure on your marriage than debt.
There are so many pressures that come with owing
other people money. So what do you do? How do
you get peace when you're overwhelmed with debt?
That's today. Stay with me. Welcome to Living
on the Edge with Chip Ingram. I'm Dave Drewy,
and today we're concluding our series, Choosing
Love, with a message that gets intensely practical.
Last time, Chip taught us that God owns it all.
We're just stewards. Today, he shows how to actually
live that out. You'll discover why money problems
are rarely about needing more income, why tracking
your spending for just 30 days changes everything,
and how to develop a financial plan you both
can agree on. Well, now here's Chip Ingram continuing
his message, Managing Your Finances Together.
Let me give you a very brief overview of biblical
finances. And I mean, I'm going to go really
quick. So what the Bible teaches, and I mean,
quick overview, is that God owns it all. Second,
we're stewards, managers, and trustees, Luke
16. I'm a steward, and a steward or a manager
is someone who is entrusted with certain things
to make good use of them for their master. And
that's what I just realized. Whatever I've got
in my pocket, whatever I've got in the bank account,
whatever kind of car, whatever I have, it's yours
and I'm going to give an account for it. Money
is powerful and deceptive. And the subtlety and
deception of money is it takes you down a path.
It's like being in water where you go out, if
you've ever been at the beach, you know, and
you're having fun, and you've got the sand, and
if you have a family, you've got a couple kids
here, and you've got the blankets, and you're
going to have lunch and stuff, and they go out
and play, and you're playing, and then you're
playing, and you're playing, and nothing happened,
but the current's doing this, and you look up
and you realize, my lands, how did we get that?
I mean, hey, where's mom and dad? That's what
happens to us with regard to money. Money is
the other God, according to Jesus. We can't serve
both, Matthew 6. Giving is God's antidote to
greed and the dangers of idol worship. We're
commanded, instruct those who are rich in this
present world, and biblically, that's all of
us, not to be conceited or fix their hope on
the uncertainty of money or wealth. Notice that's
the reason, because it's uncertain. He wants
to protect us. Debt is dangerous and to be avoided.
I think the best counselors I know say, you know,
it's not wrong to have some debt, appreciable
items. It's way better not to have any. And we're
to be accurately aware of our financial condition.
Now, this would be interesting. I will not do
this because I would not want to embarrass anyone.
But if I could, if you all lined up and I could
meet with couples, couples, couples, couples,
and then I would just, okay, separate, you know,
earphones. She couldn't hear, he couldn't hear.
And I would ask the man, in general, how much
debt do you have? How much money do you have
in savings? What I would find in most couples,
one person would have a vague idea and the other
would be like, he takes care of all that or she
takes care of all that. Or they would both fumble
around a lot and not have a very accurate. The
Bible says, know well the condition of your flock.
You need to know this is our level of debt. Currently,
right now, this is how much we've set aside for
an emergency. This is a fund that we've developed
for. We're saving for the next car that we're
going to buy because we want to pay cash. This
is what we're doing in terms of long -term and
investment or retirement. And you kind of know
where you're at. And by the way, the reason you're
feeling the way you're feeling is because of
the deceitfulness of riches. Do you realize 50
% of all the people that graduate from college,
I read a statistic, file bankruptcy? You know,
you go to college, they give you a t -shirt,
here's a credit card. But by the time they're
out, there's literally, we have a whole generation,
some Christian, some non -Christian, that they
think this is money. I remember one of my grandkids,
we were taking them out for something and we're
having a pizza or something like that. You know,
they're 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 at the time. And we were
here and, oh, do you want to get something like
that? I said, oh, I don't have my wallet. I said,
I don't know what to do. And one of my, I forget,
one of my grandkids says, oh, just use one of
those cards. In other words, it wasn't, you don't
need money. There was no connection between money
and a card. But here's, okay, okay. Now I'm gonna
be really, really gentle here. If you wanna get
hold of your life, if you wanna get hold of your
values, if you wanna get hold of your future,
you have to get a hold of your money and your
time. In your thought life. If you do not get
a hold of your money. It will get a hold of you.
And despite your best intentions. It will take
you places. You do not want to go. If you don't
get a hold of your thought life. You can intend.
You can try. You can want to. You can plead.
But you are the product of your thoughts. It's
how God made us. Your emotions are a response
to your thoughts. Much of your behavior, instead
of being intellectually based, oh, this is logical.
This is what I ought to do. Is that what we do?
Like, I'm feeling kind of down. I'm feeling kind
of blue. Oh, it's really logical. Don't go to
the refrigerator. So I won't. What do we do?
We eat. We spend. We shop. We go. We vacation.
There are only five uses of money. I got this
from Ron Blue. You can give it away, you can
pay taxes with it, you can save it, you can pay
off debt, or you can live off of it. And when
I say savings, I mean savings as in short -term
emergency fund, which I find most people don't
have. But then there's sort of a mid -range savings
where we set aside X amount so that when we get
the tax bill, we don't go, oh. So, you know,
every paycheck, a little bit goes in for the
tax. We have a game plan. At our age and our
stage, we wanted to help our grandkids. So we
set aside some where we started a little fund
for their college. We wanted to visit our grandkids
and stay connected. And when they all grow and
go different places, about 15 years ago, we called
it a kid fund. Because, you know, and by the
way, it's not like we had a lot of money to put
in these things. But the discipline of creating
where you want your money to go creates an intention.
But the point is, do you plan and do you segment
your dollars so that what I knew was at the end
of the day, what's going to be valuable? I want
to be connected to my grown kids. I want to have
at least every two years a window of time where...
Those little kids grow up and they remember being
on the boat with granddad and grandma and aunts
and uncles and cousins. Did it cost a lot of
money? Yeah. But I saved for it for two years.
I don't have a ton of money in retirement, but
I've got a plan that lines out that, well, at
65 I said, I don't have anything in the Bible
about retirement. I want to be used by God. I'm
not trying to figure out. I've met these guys
that their whole life was. Boy, maybe by 56,
I can retire and play golf. Now, personally,
I like to play golf. But I think pleasure is
a great vacation. It's a bad vocation. Pleasure
is a great tour guide. It's a great tour guide.
Ah, let's have some fun. It is a terrible destination.
It can't deliver. Financial freedom requires,
and please don't laugh, spending less than one's
income. If you add up all your expenses this
month or in the last year, are your expenses
more than the money that came in? And if so,
do you understand that's a fundamental problem?
The government can do that. You can't. I mean,
they can just say, hey, let's print some more
money. Unfortunately, we will all end up paying
for all that one way or another. And so the lie
is that what we need is we need more income.
And so often, well, it's a second job or we'll
do this, we'll do this. Well, then your priorities
get out of whack. Now, are there times for a
second job? Man, of course. But by and large,
your need is not more money. Your need is to
adjust your spending to your income. And your
income needs to flow out of not what are all
the things that we think we need. But see, you
got to go back to this is who we want to be.
This is God's call on our life. This is what's
important for our marriage. This is what's important
if you have children or grandchildren. These
are our goals. And then, okay, we're going to
give first and foremost because we're going to
declare that money will not be our God. Before
we do anything else, I'm going to make my offering
to God. Second is I'm going to obey the government,
so I'm going to set aside, I'm going to pay my
taxes. Then I'm going to say, what do we need,
you know, to live on? But before we do, even
if it's small, we're going to set aside some
money to save. And then you're saying, if I do
all that, I'm not going to have much left. You're
right. So do you need to lease a car that's $500
a month? Do you need cable and Netflix and this
and that? Do you need to eat out seven, eight,
nine times a month? That's just what happens.
Now you're thinking, gosh, you're talking about
a completely altered lifestyle. It's called freedom.
It's called joy. The borrower is always a slave
of the lender. And you just get into bondage.
And it starts small and then it mushrooms. And
so all I'm saying is that that's the principle.
You have to spend less than what comes in. You're
listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram
and we'll continue in just a moment. Today's
teaching is available for listening anytime over
on our website, livingontheedge .org. Whether
you want to listen again or share it with someone
who needs encouragement, you'll find this message
and hundreds more online. Plus discover small
group resources and practical relationship tools
designed to help you choose love daily. Check
it all out at livingontheedge .org. Now let's
get back to Chip's message. Often money is not
the problem as we talked about. It's often just
the symptom. Money solves emotional and relational
problems short term by compensation. A lot of
parents buy stuff for their kids because they
feel guilty they're not spending quality time
with them. We buy gifts for one another or we
say silly things like, you know, it's really
been a rocky time in our marriage, so let's just
go to Hawaii. I mean, we're only $60 ,000 in
debt. What's another 10? I mean, the logic goes
like that. There's a way that seems right to
a man. Proverbs 14, 12. There's a way that seems
right to a woman. But the end thereof is death.
And what is common for other people is death
for you. The fact that they do it is the fact
that you're going to see people whose marriages
don't work, whose kids are entitled, whose trajectory
of their life is the opposite of what you want.
And yet, if you did some real hard evaluation,
at some level, or maybe more than you would like,
or maybe you're in the deep end of the pool,
and you just realize this money thing is really
the thing that's causing the pressure. How do
you solve the money problem? It has to begin
with, it's our problem that we will solve, right?
We're going to do this together. Because once
the pressure happens, what do we do? It's her.
Or whoever is the spender, especially, right?
It's him. You know, I can't believe he bought
new golf clubs. I can't believe she went shopping
and did this, blah, blah, blah. I can't believe,
blah, blah, blah. And so you blame. You either
win -win or lose -lose. Second, then assessment
instead of blaming. You will need to get prayed
up and then say, let's sit down and see where
we're at financially. So we both know. This is
how much actually comes in. This is how much
we pay in taxes. This is how much total debt
we have in every area, long -term, short -term,
credit card. This is how much we give. I've done
this many times in season of marriage. For 30
days, and it's easier on your phone. There's
probably apps that do it now. For 30 days, Teresa
and I would say, we're going to track every dollar
we spend for 30 days just to find out. And spend
would just be normal. Just track it. It's crazy.
Just by tracking it, you start spending less.
And then you track it and you find, okay, this
is how much on groceries. This is how much on
going out to eat. This much on recreation. This
much on clothes. And all of a sudden what you
see is, in your mind, it's we don't have enough
money to get by. And when you see where it actually
goes, you'll go, can you believe we spend $142
on Starbucks? I'm just telling you, we have patterns.
And here, God's not mad. But those patterns,
right? Those paths, there's a destination. And
I just want you to know, the destination that
a great majority of Christians, and maybe a lot
of you are on, it's not where you want to be.
So you sit down, and you'll notice the worksheet.
is I've just kind of taken what other really
smart people in finance, you know, in an honest
appraisal, and there's a confession. Say, here's
where you start. Lord, we are messed up with
our money. Correction, Lord, we are messed up
with your money. And since it's your money, we're
going to repent. And then second, we want to
have a clear conscience. We want... Not just
our words, not just our thoughts, not just our
actions. We want our money to be a reflection
that we're living in a way that's pleasing to
you. You do. You do understand. God longs to
bless you. And then there's principles here,
you know, about a budget and how to do it and
do it together and establishing. These are all
the basic principles of finances. Resolving to
get out of debt. developing a plan and a time
frame. Many of you, just like in other areas,
you'll need someone from the outside, you know,
a financial counselor. Lots of churches now are
doing some really good things with this. And
then explore creative means to reduce spending
and living costs. And then just say, Lord, we
want to obey you. One of the things that we did
after we... you know, found out how much we were
spending and all, then we developed, you know,
a budget sounds so harsh, doesn't it? I mean,
it just sounds like budgets. So what we did is
when we came up with, okay, this is where we
want to be. And this is what we can afford. I
know. Okay. We gave, we paid our taxes. We saved
at least just if mostly the principal probably
won't do a whole lot of good, but we started
there and it kept growing. Now we have this much
money left. Then what we did is we said, okay,
groceries, literally. We went to the bank. We
got cash. Okay, a family of six. Okay, $320.
Put that in an envelope that says groceries.
Recreation. We do want to go out a little bit.
We want to do this. We want to do that. Right
now, $80 for this month. That goes in another
envelope. And we had like five envelopes, and
you'll see how to do that. When the envelopes
were empty, guess we're not going to Starbucks.
Guess we're not going out to eat. And so we lived
on a cash basis. And it can be different amounts,
but you would be shocked how your debt will come
down, your freedom will go, and God will allow
you to get a hold of your finances. And then
notice what action step to begin the process.
And this is one where it's, in most couples,
it's either a default, we don't think about it
a lot, or it's really an issue where there's
a lot of sparks. This is one of those, let's
agree, let's not blame anybody. We've done that,
right? Second, let's not argue. That's no fun
either. Let's work through this worksheet together.
And let's come up with just a plan that we both
agree on. And what I can tell you, I've watched
this just like spiritual intimacy. When couples
get on the same page in finances, and then can
I just warning, warning, you know, caution light,
you know, yellow, now it's red. In about two
or three weeks, one of you won't stick to the
budget. And it's probably the spender. And one
of you is like really organized, followed through,
details, and the other is a little bit more big
picture. That's the culprit. Watch that guy.
And then you're going to have an argument. And
guess what you'll do? You'll bear with one another.
You'll define the problem. You'll initiate a
time to talk. You have a way to solve the problem.
You'll forgive one another. You'll repent. Your
Starbucks is down to $4. No, I'm just kidding.
Do you get it? This is one that doesn't feel
like, oh, wow, what a wonderful difference it
will make. I will tell you, this will impact
almost every area in your children. Man, it will
so help them. What do you mean we can't have
that? What do you mean we can't buy that? Everyone,
you'll have so many teachable moments when you
begin to live in a way where you are wise stewards
of his money and his time, of the home that you
either own or rent as his steward with the income
that you have. And as you do that, Venture capitalists,
they look for who's the right person, the right
idea, the right concept, the right need, and
we want to fund it. And the ultimate venture
capitalist in the universe is God. He's looking
for someone that would be a good manager, that
has an open heart, that would use the resources
that would bring honor and glory to him, and
he would really like as a byproduct. To have
you really enjoy it and make you happy and probably
provide some things that you would never dream.
But we live in a world where I want the things
now for me. And I neglect my business partner,
my venture capitalist, the funder, the provider.
Because, you know, no matter how much you have,
haven't we learned? Man, your small business
is thriving. Guess what? You're out of business.
I talk with people. I spent 33 years building
this company. It's gone. It's gone. So what you
want is you want a financial partner that will
never leave you, never forsake you. And no matter
what happens or when you fail, you can always
go back. And Lord, he's near to the brokenhearted.
He wants to help you. This is Living on the Edge
with Chip Ingram. And we're wrapping up our series,
Choosing Love. Today, Chip gave us nuts and bolts
guidance for becoming wise stewards of God's
resources. Chip will share a final word in just
a moment. Looking for more insight into biblical
love? Chip's latest book, I Choose Love, takes
everything we've covered in this series even
deeper. The central message is simple, but life
-changing. Love is a choice, not just an emotion
you experience. Through Philippians chapter 2,
Chip explores agape love. God's kind of love
that operates completely differently than what
our culture promotes. It's sacrificial. It's
intentional. It puts the other person first,
even when it costs you something. When you make
the choice to love this way, everything shifts.
Order your copy at livingontheedge .org and start
experiencing the transformation in every relationship.
Hey, want more of Chip's teaching throughout
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you Chip's full unedited messages exactly as
preached. Well, now, once again, here's Chip
with a final word for our study, Choosing Love.
As we wrap up the series, I had a great time
getting to teach it to those couples at the Billy
Graham Center. And then I got to hear what was
going on in their life as they gave me feedback
and talked about, you know what? We're taking
steps for spiritual intimacy. We prayed together
last night and someone else told me, you know
something? we never even talked about money.
My husband just took care of it all. I didn't
even know what was going on. Or my wife took
care of it all. We actually sat down and discussed
our finances. Or for others, it was, you know,
this series was awesome. That little acronym
of diffuse about how to resolve conflict and
that little tool you gave us on communication,
having a conference. have been such a help of
moving us closer together. We've gotten practical
skills on how to have a marriage that's deeper,
actually, in keeping our love alive. And maybe
you missed one of the messages or what I'm talking
about, you're thinking, wow, I'd love to get
those notes or I'd like to listen to this. Let
me encourage you to go to the website or there
on the app and listen to these messages again.
Download the notes. And here's the challenge.
Who do you know? that needs to hear this series,
that you could send it to, that you could pray
for, that you could say, hey, why don't we get
together? You could listen to it again. And why
don't we take these notes and have discussions
with two or three other couples? Why don't we
get committed not just to hear about a skill,
but to actually put it in practice? There is
nothing that will give you greater joy or sustain
your life and the things that matter most than
building a strong marriage. Keeping love alive
takes a lot of work. Go do it. You'll be glad
you did. What does God's dream for your life
look like? Well, tomorrow, Chip Ingram shifts
gears to reveal what normal Christianity is really
supposed to be. And it might surprise you. I'm
Dave Drewy. Join us tomorrow as we begin a series
called God's Dream for Your Life here on Living
on the Edge. Today's program is produced and
sponsored by Living on the Edge.