Today on Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram.
One of the biggest problems and sources of our
biggest arguments in our marriage was about our
finances. We just couldn't get on the same page
when it came to money and budget and where it
went. Do you have some financial struggles with
your mate and want some help? Well, if that's
you, stay with us. That's today. Welcome to Living
on the Edge. I'm Dave Drewy. And today, Chip
Ingram tackles the number one source of conflict
and divorce in America, money. But here's what
most couples miss. Financial problems are rarely
about the money itself. They're symptoms of deeper
issues, different values, different priorities,
different backgrounds. In our series, Choosing
Love, Chip returns to Colossians Chapter 3. to
show how biblical principles transform not just
how we handle conflict, but how we steward everything
God has entrusted to us. Here's Chip Ingram with
today's teaching, Managing Your Finances Together.
If you'll pull out your notes, skill number four
is how to biblically manage your finances together.
The number one source of conflict and divorce
in America is issues and problems around money.
And really, it's the symptom, as we learned.
It's different values, different priorities,
different styles. Almost every marriage has a
spender and a saver. Different family backgrounds,
your whole view of money, wealth, spending, saving,
investing, risk. You grew up in a family, and
it's in your thinking, it's in your nerves, and
you just have preconceived ideas about those
things. And then some of you, because of circumstance
or situations, entered your marriage with debt
or challenges or have had huge hardships that
have created financial problems. All I'm saying
is all that does is this, it creates incredible
pressure. Just incredible pressure. And incredible
pressure brings things to the surface where because
we're human, we figure out primarily how to blame
the other person. Okay, you still have your passage?
We're still in Colossians 3, 12 through, 17.
So in context here, it says, as those have been
chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart
of compassion, kindness, humility, patience,
bearing with one another and forgiving each other,
whoever has a complaint against anyone, just
as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.
Beyond all these things, put on love, which is
the perfect bond of unity, and let the peace
of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed
you were called into one body, and be thankful.
The very first line says, this is how God sees
you. This is who you are. What I just read after
that is this is what we're to do in our relationships.
And then notice verse 16 is a resource. Let the
word of Christ richly dwell within you. How?
With all wisdom. That means at the right time,
at the right way, sharing it for the right purposes,
teaching and admonishing one another. Well, how?
With truth. Psalms, hymns, spiritual songs, and
then this idea of regardless of our circumstance,
singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God.
And then in verse 17, he's going to say, this
is how I want you to behave. Whatever you do
in word or deed. Now just pause for a moment.
Can you think of anything that's outside of word
or deed? Thought. That's good. Whatever you do
in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord
Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.
The command here is that all of our words and
all of our actions are be done in Jesus' name.
And in Jesus' name simply means two things. It
means you do it as a representative of him. So
I'm speaking or I'm behaving or I'm acting as
his representative. And it also has the idea
of being empowered by him to speak whatever he
wants you to speak or to do whatever he wants
you to do. The two most accurate mirrors of our
heart and our lives are our words and our money.
The good man out of the good treasure of his
heart, Jesus said in Luke 6, verse 45, brings
forth what is good and the evil man or the evil
woman. Out of the evil treasure brings forth
what is evil, for the mouth speaks from that
which fills the heart. If you ever want to know
where you're at, the MRI of your soul. I mean,
I can intend, I can think, I can lift my hands,
I can sing, I can say I love God, but my words,
my words reveal what's really in my heart. And
that's why our speech is so important. Anytime
that's true, the other thing is your words, you
can go into training so that you deal with issues
so that what comes out of your mouth reveals
what you want to be in your heart. The second
greatest revealer is our money. Jesus said, do
not store up yourself, underline in your notes
if you would, for yourself, treasures on earth
where moth and rust destroy and where thieves
break in and steal. Why? Why would he say that?
He doesn't want you to have nice things. He wants
to keep something from you. What's true about
moth, rust, and thieves? They can take it away.
In other words, it's vulnerable. But store up,
now underline again, will you? For yourself.
This is for your benefit. Treasures in heaven
where neither moth nor rust can destroy and where
thieves do not break in. And then here's the
purpose clause. Why? For where your treasure
is, there your heart will be also. Wherever,
if you want to know, I mean, if you really wanted
to know, Lord, how am I really doing? From heaven,
all pretense, what anyone else thinks, in my
own denial, in the deceitfulness of my own heart,
if I really wanted to know, where am I really
at? If I took a tape recorder and listened to
my words for a week and then sat down and listened
to it. the tone of voice, the anger, the sarcasm,
the hurt, the swearing, the thanks, the praise,
I would get a really good idea of what's in my
heart. That would be a pretty challenging thing
to do. A little bit easier way, if you would
take all your financial statements, all your
credit cards, and see where all your money was
spent in the last year or two years or three
years or four years. What you saved and why you
saved it and where you gave money, both formally
and informally, it would tell you more about
your life than almost anything you can imagine.
Because wherever your treasure is, that's where
your heart really is. That's why Jesus talked
more about money than heaven and hell combined.
He doesn't need or want our money. In fact, I
bet I was a pastor for 10 years. And I thought
life was like this. There's Jesus, right? There's
the Godhead, and then there's the enemy, Satan.
That's not what the Bible teaches. Jesus says
there's two gods. There's God, and there's mammon.
Wealth, greed. Money promises to do everything.
Money promises to protect, provide, make you
a someone. Jesus said... This is one God. This
is the other God. Satan is just the enemy to
get you to believe that that will deliver. And
the world system is created to tell you your
possessions, your power, your fame, what you
can buy, what people think. That makes you a
somebody. So Jesus says money isn't neutral.
He says it's powerful. It's deceptive. It's not
bad in and of itself, but it's the other God.
And so if you want to know what's going on in
your life or if you want to direct your life,
money is a revealer. Let me give you a very brief
overview of biblical finances. And I mean, I'm
going to go really quick. And I'm only going
to give this because this is the context in which
I'm speaking. And it's the context, in my experience,
most Christians don't have. Money is sort of
like a side thing over here. It's a problem to
deal with. It's like, you know, we know we need
some money or the matter of giving is sort of
like, well, maybe there's some law and, you know,
I'm supposed to give 10 % and either begrudgingly
or semi -begrudgingly, it's like paying a bill
and I should do that because I was taught to.
And the whole teaching of generosity in your
heart and the purpose and how money fits into
the development of your spiritual life in my
experience is often missed. So what the Bible
teaches, and I mean quick overview, is that God
owns it all. The earth is mine, Psalm 50. And
the fullness thereof, every good and perfect
gift, James, comes from God. Second, we're stewards,
managers, and trustees, Luke 16. You don't own
anything. You don't have a car. You don't have
a home. You don't have any investments. You don't
own anything. It's 100 % him. What do you have,
the apostle said, except what you have received?
My money, my house, my investments, my wife,
my children, I'm a steward. And a steward or
a manager is someone who is entrusted with certain
things to make good use of them for their master.
That changes your whole world. That means, okay,
the market goes up or the market goes down. Lord,
you're losing a lot of your money right now.
We laugh. People have been jumping off of buildings
and off of bridges. Anxiety, depression, fear,
overwhelmed. The American view of money, we are
living the last 50 years, 70 years, we're living
in America with a level of affluence that only
the greatest kings in all the world ever experienced
historically. And yet... In this affluent world,
we have more anxiety, more suicides, and more
problems than I could take you to multiple third
world countries where they have very little and
the people are very happy and no one's taking
drugs. The most recent research, but now by the
way, when you're in abject poverty or you're
really poor, there's financial issues, does money
solve all your problems? No, but it sure helps.
And what the secular researchers say is that
basically, Right up to about $75 ,000 to $85
,000. If you're below that in the current economy,
if you get in about that area and without debt,
money really helps. And all the dollars after
that is sort of diminishing returns in terms
of quality of life. The saddest, most miserable,
most problems in families in all my life have
been the wealthiest people that I know. Why?
Because money can't solve the problems. In fact,
it creates incredible entitlement, lack of responsibility.
We'll give an account for our stewardship. God,
according to how he's made you and purposes,
has given us all different talents, different
resources, and I'll give an account of what I
do with his money, what I do with his time. You're
listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram,
and we'll continue in just a moment. Today's
teaching is available for listening anytime over
on our website, livingontheedge .org. Whether
you want to listen again or share it with someone
who needs encouragement, you'll find this message
and hundreds more online. Plus, discover small
group resources and practical relationship tools
designed to help you choose love daily. Check
it all out at livingontheedge .org. Now let's
get back to Chip's message. I had a card for
years that I wrote down. You know, I do this
thing a lot with my thinking. I mean, I really
believe as a man thinks in his heart, so he becomes
the mindset on the flesh, death, the mindset
on the spirit, life and peace. Set your mind
on the things above. I'm absolutely, I mean,
I'm like over the top on, boy, what comes into
my mind. There's a huge filter and what I put
into my mind because life change happens not
by behavior or emotions or trying hard. Life
change happens. First and foremost, you renew
your mind. And as you think differently, all
of a sudden that's not a temptation because it
doesn't look very good. You think differently
and emotionally things change because the news
is like poison. And the more and more I watch
of news and people being blown up and these people
hate these people and those people, then what
it does is it creates all kinds of things inside.
And so I keep aware of what's going on, but I'm
real careful about what I let in my mind. And
then what I know is that When I struggle with
areas, I've got to change my thinking. So coming
from my background, giving away money and being
generous did not come naturally. And so I had
a card that I wrote, Lord, I desire to be more
generous with my time and my money this year.
And I would just read it over. I'd just read
it over, read it over, read it over, read it
over, and I just found there were opportunities.
They were probably always there. But I noticed
him and I would be a little bit more generous
and then a little bit more generous. And then
I reviewed that card for like five years. And
then I was studying and I just realized that's
not accurate. That's wrong, Chip. So I put an
X through the card in certain places. God, I
desire to be more generous with your money and
your time this year. And that's what I just realized.
Whatever I've got in my pocket, whatever I've
got in the bank account, whatever kind of car
I drive, whatever I have, it's yours and I'm
going to give an account for it. Money is powerful
and deceptive. Mark 4, you know the parables
of the seed and the sower, right? The seed is
God's word. It goes into the earth. You know,
the hard soil, Satan takes it away. The shallow
soil, it grows up, but persecution and difficulty
fades away. The thorny soil, it grows up. And
then the desires of this word and the deceitfulness
of riches choke out God's word. By the way, the
deceitfulness of riches. You do understand the
word deceit means this. When you are deceived,
you don't know it. And the subtlety and deception
of money is... It takes you down a path. It's
like being in water where you go out. If you've
ever been at the beach, you know, and you're
having fun. And, you know, you've got the sand.
And if you have a family, you've got a couple
kids here. And you've got the blankets. And you're
going to have lunch and stuff. And they go out
and play. And you're playing. And then you're
playing. And you're playing. And nothing happened.
But the current's doing this. And you look up
and you realize, my lands, how did we get that?
I mean, hey, where's mom and dad? That's what
happens to us with regard to money. Money is
the other God, according to Jesus. We can't serve
both, Matthew 6. Giving is God's antidote to
greed and the dangers of idol worship. We're
commanded, instruct those who are rich in this
present world, and biblically, that's all of
us, not to be conceited or fix their hope on
the uncertainty of money or wealth. Notice that's
the reason, because it's uncertain. He wants
to protect us. but fix their hope on God who
richly supplies us with all things to... In other
words, when your priorities are right, when it
comes from God, he's gracious and kind and loving.
So you're not overwhelmed in debt. You're not
compensating by buying things or going places
you really can't afford. Your priorities are
right. And he says, don't fix your hope here
on the one hand. So you want to be generous and
be wise. And then when he blesses, you don't
have to say, well, the reason we have a swimming
pool is we're doing baptisms for the youth group.
You know, that mission trip. You know, that we're
taking to New Zealand and Hawaii. You know what?
If you want to go to Hawaii and the Lord has
blessed your life and your priorities in order,
here's what you ought to do. Enjoy it. If God
gives you a swimming pool and your priorities
in order and he's led you in that way and maybe
it's especially great for the season of your
kids, why don't you enjoy it? But what we do
is we play lots of games. God wants us to richly
enjoy all that he's given us and at the same
time realize that thing, that wealth, that idol
wants to take over your soul. Debt is dangerous
and to be avoided. I think the best counselors
I know say it's not wrong to have some debt,
appreciable items. It's way better not to have
any. And we're to be accurately aware of our
financial condition. Now, this would be interesting.
I will not do this because I would not want to
embarrass anyone. But if you all lined up and
I could meet with couples, couples, couples,
couples, and then I would just separate earphones
so she couldn't hear, he couldn't hear, and I
would ask the man, in general, how much debt
do you have? How much money do you have in savings?
How much is on your credit cards? How much short
-term, long -term, or any investments that you
have? I mean, just a ballpark. I don't want the
exact numbers. You're aware of basically your
finances. What I would find in most couples,
one person would have a vague idea and the other
would be like, he takes care of all that or she
takes care of all that. Or they would both fumble
around a lot and not have a very accurate. The
Bible says, know well the condition of your flock.
You need to know this is our level of debt. Currently,
right now, this is how much we've set aside for
an emergency. This is a fund that we've developed
for. We're saving for the next car that we're
going to buy because we want to pay cash. This
is what we're doing in terms of long -term and
investment or retirement, and you kind of know
where you're at. And by the way, your body language,
I'm talking really fast. I'm going to pause for
a minute. The reason you're feeling the way you're
feeling is because of the deceitfulness of riches.
Do you realize 50 % of all the people that graduate
from college, I read a statistic, File bankruptcy?
You know, you go to college, they give you a
t -shirt, here's a credit card. But by the time
they're out, there's literally, we have a whole
generation, some Christian, some non -Christian,
that they think this is money. I remember one
of my grandkids, we were taking them out for
something and we're having a pizza or something
like that. And you know, they're six, seven,
eight, nine, 10 at the time. And we were here
and, oh, do you want to get something like that?
I said, oh, I don't have my wallet. I said, I
don't know what to do. And one of my, I forget,
one of my grandkids says, oh, just use one of
those cards. In other words, it wasn't, you don't
need money. There was no connection between money
and a card. But here's, okay, okay. Now I'm going
to be really, really gentle here. If you want
to get hold of your life, if you want to get
hold of your values, if you want to get hold
of your future, you have to get a hold of your
money. in your time, in your thought life. This
is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, and we're
continuing our series, Choosing Love. Today's
message gave us a biblical framework for managing
money, not as owners, but as stewards. Chip will
be back in just a moment. Want to go deeper into
what biblical love really means? Chip's newest
book, I Choose Love, is your next step. Here's
the core truth. Love isn't something you stumble
into. It's something you choose. Drawing from
Philippians chapter 2, Chip unpacks agape love,
the kind God has for us. This love isn't based
on feelings that come and go. It's rooted in
sacrifice, in deliberately choosing another person's
best interest above your own. I Choose Love shows
you how this transformative love operates, how
it gives without counting the cost, serves without
resentment, and cares beyond what's convenient.
When you understand and practice agape love,
it revolutionizes your marriage and every other
relationship you have. Get your copy today at
livingontheedge .org. And friend, this teaching
exists because listeners like you believe God's
Word changes lives. When you support Living on
the Edge, you're helping couples move from financial
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app. Well, now here's Chip. For years as a pastor,
I have to tell you, I thought that it was God
against Satan. Jesus didn't teach that. He says
that there's two gods. There's him. and there's
money. And Satan is evil, and he uses money and
multiple other things to try and lure or seduce
us away from our relationship with Jesus Christ.
Now, money isn't necessarily evil in and of itself,
but the desire for to become rich. Money promises
security and significance, and that's why it's
the other God. And so it's not neutral. It's
powerful because money reveals your values. Money
reveals who is really the Lord of your life.
You want to know what's really going on inside
your heart and your soul. It's not about the
words that I say or lifting my hands when I sing
a song or having a warm feeling towards God.
My money reveals where my real treasure is, who
my real Lord is. And so that's why it's so critical
as a couple to get on the same page. Lesson number
one, and this is hard, God owns it all. I am
the Lord. That is my name, right? The earth is
mine and the fullness thereof. All things are
by me and for me and through me. So the question
is not, what do I do with my money or even my
time or my house? It's Lord. What do you want
me to do with the money that you've entrusted
to me, with the time entrusted to me, with the
resources or house entrusted to me? There's these
open hands. And that's why giving is the antidote
to greed. God doesn't want us to give because
he needs it. He wants us to give because we have
to constantly attack this God of money. And so
this is why it's so critical. as a couple, to
say, let's study what the Bible says about money.
Let's not allow any idols to get into our lives.
And you know what? It's so easy to blame your
mate. Well, she does too much shopping. Well,
he plays too much golf. Well, all he wants to
do is, you know, put money into cars and hobbies
and this and that. All she wants to do is fix
up the house. And ask yourself, how much is coming
in? What is our level of debt? And in our next
broadcast, I'm going to walk through, I mean,
a nuts and bolts approach to help you get a handle
on your money so you can get a handle on your
life. God or money? You can't serve both. Tomorrow,
Chip Ingram explains why getting control of your
finances is really about getting control of your
heart. I'm Dave Drury, and we'll continue choosing
love tomorrow on Living on the Edge. Today's
program is produced and sponsored by Living on
the Edge.