WEBVTT 00:00:00.880 --> 00:00:04.559 This is the Chip Ingram Sermon Podcast, brought 00:00:04.559 --> 00:00:07.719 to you by Living on the Edge. In this podcast, 00:00:07.980 --> 00:00:10.539 you'll hear Chip's teaching unedited and from 00:00:10.539 --> 00:00:13.900 beginning to end. Well, here's Chip Ingram with 00:00:13.900 --> 00:00:17.079 today's message, Cultivating Spiritual Intimacy. 00:00:17.300 --> 00:00:20.719 You'll notice on your notes, it says sometimes 00:00:20.719 --> 00:00:27.539 it's harder to keep love alive than others. Sometimes 00:00:27.539 --> 00:00:29.879 you cope in a crisis. I don't know about you. 00:00:29.980 --> 00:00:32.119 I mean, I have been married 42 years. This was 00:00:32.119 --> 00:00:35.700 one of the hardest years of my marriage. You 00:00:35.700 --> 00:00:37.460 know, we had a number of things planned. They 00:00:37.460 --> 00:00:40.679 all got canceled. We had certain rhythms where 00:00:40.679 --> 00:00:42.579 we went and did certain things. They were all 00:00:42.579 --> 00:00:45.939 canceled. But there's all kind of times. Times 00:00:45.939 --> 00:00:48.600 when you have a health issue. Sometimes when 00:00:48.600 --> 00:00:53.000 you're separated or relocate. Sometimes financial 00:00:53.000 --> 00:00:56.149 stresses put a lot of pressure on you. Or you 00:00:56.149 --> 00:00:58.509 have a family crisis. Or one of your parents 00:00:58.509 --> 00:01:03.750 is dying. Or going through a hard time. Or one 00:01:03.750 --> 00:01:06.829 of your kids is either making you crazy or you 00:01:06.829 --> 00:01:09.530 don't know what to do with them. Or there's a 00:01:09.530 --> 00:01:14.069 moral failure. And all I want to say is going 00:01:14.069 --> 00:01:18.549 through really challenging times doesn't mean 00:01:18.549 --> 00:01:20.829 there's something wrong with you or your marriage. 00:01:22.280 --> 00:01:25.239 In fact, after 42 years, I can tell you, not 00:01:25.239 --> 00:01:27.500 that I have liked it, but it's been in the most 00:01:27.500 --> 00:01:30.180 difficult, the most painful, the times when I 00:01:30.180 --> 00:01:33.079 honestly wanted to give up. Those are actually 00:01:33.079 --> 00:01:36.200 the windows of times where God can get your attention. 00:01:36.359 --> 00:01:39.040 And instead of just having an okay marriage or 00:01:39.040 --> 00:01:42.260 getting along or being compatible, some really 00:01:42.260 --> 00:01:46.180 supernatural deep things can happen. And he works 00:01:46.180 --> 00:01:49.060 in each of you individually. And then he worked 00:01:49.060 --> 00:01:52.090 with you as a couple. When you're going through 00:01:52.090 --> 00:01:55.209 difficult times, the person you generally take 00:01:55.209 --> 00:01:58.629 it out on is who? The person who understands 00:01:58.629 --> 00:02:01.450 you the most and you'd be critical in your tone 00:02:01.450 --> 00:02:03.769 of voice. I was in pain a lot, so I had lack 00:02:03.769 --> 00:02:06.349 of patience. And Teresa was very kind. It was 00:02:06.349 --> 00:02:08.949 like, what's wrong with you? And so after all 00:02:08.949 --> 00:02:11.870 these years, I would just sort of retreat a little 00:02:11.870 --> 00:02:15.389 bit. But what I knew was our marriage, because 00:02:15.389 --> 00:02:18.270 of all those things, was doing this. And if you've 00:02:18.270 --> 00:02:20.210 been where I've been, even the little bit of 00:02:20.210 --> 00:02:23.210 this starts to scare you. I think there's times 00:02:23.210 --> 00:02:25.430 when you get discouraged or it gets dark, it 00:02:25.430 --> 00:02:27.729 starts looping. And, you know, I would pray, 00:02:27.849 --> 00:02:32.889 I would read, just kept looping. And I remember 00:02:32.889 --> 00:02:36.909 saying, Lord, I really, this is weird. I really 00:02:36.909 --> 00:02:38.550 need your help. And I've certainly been here 00:02:38.550 --> 00:02:41.349 before. And I heard the Holy Spirit whisper, 00:02:41.449 --> 00:02:43.569 Chip, draw near to me and I'll draw near to you. 00:02:44.600 --> 00:02:47.460 That's a promise from God. And then I thought, 00:02:47.500 --> 00:02:50.620 what if all the things in all my years, because 00:02:50.620 --> 00:02:52.680 at this stage of my life, when it gets really 00:02:52.680 --> 00:02:57.219 dark and evil, I know something's up. And I thought, 00:02:57.280 --> 00:02:59.479 I went back to my earliest days, and I thought, 00:02:59.539 --> 00:03:04.719 when I memorized big chunks of Scripture and 00:03:04.719 --> 00:03:07.860 renewed my mind, And part of it was you got back 00:03:07.860 --> 00:03:11.180 pain. You got people on the news yelling and 00:03:11.180 --> 00:03:13.639 screaming at each other. You got violence on 00:03:13.639 --> 00:03:16.099 the left, violence on the right. You got a country 00:03:16.099 --> 00:03:18.419 falling apart. You got, I mean, there was so 00:03:18.419 --> 00:03:23.120 many things that emotionally just, and what I 00:03:23.120 --> 00:03:26.680 realized is I put the pause on all that external 00:03:26.680 --> 00:03:30.280 stuff. And then I went back to John chapter 1 00:03:30.280 --> 00:03:32.979 and re -memorized verses 1 through 18. And then 00:03:32.979 --> 00:03:35.319 I went to Colossians 3. And then I would jump 00:03:35.319 --> 00:03:37.319 over to Philippians 3 and I would walk through 00:03:37.319 --> 00:03:42.139 that. And I went on like a rampage of I am going 00:03:42.139 --> 00:03:46.900 to bombard my mind with truth. And everything 00:03:46.900 --> 00:03:50.180 we're going to talk about is how do you move 00:03:50.180 --> 00:03:54.680 up toward God and closer to one another. And 00:03:54.680 --> 00:03:56.780 there's things you need to know. But there's 00:03:56.780 --> 00:03:59.699 also skills you need to develop. And what I want 00:03:59.699 --> 00:04:04.039 to talk about in our time is four skills that 00:04:04.039 --> 00:04:07.300 we need to develop. But before I do, I'm going 00:04:07.300 --> 00:04:09.479 to, remember I told you I was in Colossians a 00:04:09.479 --> 00:04:14.439 lot? As I prayed about what to share, I literally, 00:04:14.599 --> 00:04:17.860 I bet, I'm not going to exaggerate, but verses 00:04:17.860 --> 00:04:21.160 12 through 17, I bet I've gone through that in 00:04:21.160 --> 00:04:24.100 my mind hundreds of times. I've said it out loud 00:04:24.100 --> 00:04:27.339 in the car. I've prayed it word by word, verse 00:04:27.339 --> 00:04:30.740 by verse. And what I realized was all the skills 00:04:30.740 --> 00:04:33.920 that I wanted to teach you, they all grow out 00:04:33.920 --> 00:04:36.720 of this one passage. So as those who've been 00:04:36.720 --> 00:04:40.360 chosen of God, holy and beloved, that's who you 00:04:40.360 --> 00:04:44.139 are, here's what you do. Put on a heart of compassion, 00:04:44.480 --> 00:04:48.199 kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 00:04:49.040 --> 00:04:51.420 bearing with one another and forgiving each other, 00:04:51.500 --> 00:04:54.060 whoever has a complaint against anyone. Just 00:04:54.060 --> 00:04:56.779 as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. 00:04:57.779 --> 00:05:00.939 And beyond all these things, put on love, which 00:05:00.939 --> 00:05:05.240 is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of 00:05:05.240 --> 00:05:08.279 Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you 00:05:08.279 --> 00:05:11.459 were called into one body and command, be thankful. 00:05:12.079 --> 00:05:14.639 Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you 00:05:14.639 --> 00:05:16.939 with all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one 00:05:16.939 --> 00:05:20.269 another with psalms and hymns, in spiritual songs, 00:05:20.310 --> 00:05:23.009 singing with thankfulness in your heart to God. 00:05:24.129 --> 00:05:29.709 Whatever you do, in word or deed, do all in the 00:05:29.709 --> 00:05:33.550 name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through 00:05:33.550 --> 00:05:39.449 him to God the Father. Let me just give you a 00:05:39.449 --> 00:05:46.910 brief little outline. The first line of chapter, 00:05:47.170 --> 00:05:50.470 verse 12, tells you who you are. And so those 00:05:50.470 --> 00:05:53.230 of you who are, in other words, when God sees 00:05:53.230 --> 00:05:56.290 you, you're chosen, you're valued, you're precious, 00:05:56.529 --> 00:05:59.949 you're holy, you're set apart because of your 00:05:59.949 --> 00:06:03.230 connection to Christ. And the word beloved, it 00:06:03.230 --> 00:06:05.750 means you are deeply and dearly loved just for 00:06:05.750 --> 00:06:08.589 who you are. Here's what you need to understand. 00:06:09.129 --> 00:06:14.209 How you see yourself and how you see or believe 00:06:14.209 --> 00:06:17.889 that God sees you, is the fundamental issue behind 00:06:17.889 --> 00:06:20.889 loving any person in the world. Because if you 00:06:20.889 --> 00:06:24.529 don't grasp and accept that you are deeply loved 00:06:24.529 --> 00:06:27.370 just for who you are, not for how you look, not 00:06:27.370 --> 00:06:29.629 for how you perform, not for what you've done, 00:06:29.810 --> 00:06:32.569 not for what you've accomplished, then you will 00:06:32.569 --> 00:06:35.910 try in every relationship to get someone to validate 00:06:35.910 --> 00:06:39.430 that you're an okay person. And you cannot impart 00:06:39.430 --> 00:06:43.550 what you do not possess. People who have great 00:06:43.550 --> 00:06:46.870 marriages are not trying to get the other person 00:06:46.870 --> 00:06:49.790 to make their life work. They're understanding, 00:06:50.029 --> 00:06:54.970 I am already chosen, I'm holy, I'm deeply, unconditionally 00:06:54.970 --> 00:06:58.629 loved, and it's out of that, it's out of his 00:06:58.629 --> 00:07:06.110 love, that I love my mate. The first command 00:07:06.110 --> 00:07:10.930 is put on a heart. In other words, it's not just 00:07:10.930 --> 00:07:15.990 an activity. Put on a heart of compassion, kindness, 00:07:16.110 --> 00:07:21.029 humility, gentleness, and patience. Can you really 00:07:21.029 --> 00:07:23.970 think about this? Can you imagine if each and 00:07:23.970 --> 00:07:27.689 every day those things were growing inside you 00:07:27.689 --> 00:07:31.250 just in your relationship with your mate? You 00:07:31.250 --> 00:07:33.350 were more compassionate. You were kinder. You 00:07:33.350 --> 00:07:37.329 were more humble. You were patient, bearing with 00:07:37.329 --> 00:07:38.930 one another. Literally, the word means putting 00:07:38.930 --> 00:07:42.649 up with the idiosyncrasies. forgiving each other, 00:07:42.709 --> 00:07:45.689 whoever has a complaint, just as the Lord forgave 00:07:45.689 --> 00:07:51.430 you. So the first command is that we put or clothe 00:07:51.430 --> 00:07:53.350 ourselves. It's what we do in relationships. 00:07:54.069 --> 00:07:56.550 And then notice the second command beyond all 00:07:56.550 --> 00:07:59.550 these. It's not just doing the things. Put on 00:07:59.550 --> 00:08:05.910 love. Unconditional. I'm for you. I give whether 00:08:05.910 --> 00:08:07.910 I get anything back or not, which is the perfect 00:08:07.910 --> 00:08:13.300 bond of unity. And the third command, it's interesting, 00:08:13.459 --> 00:08:15.339 and sometimes in the text it looks so small, 00:08:15.379 --> 00:08:17.339 it says be thankful. That's a separate command. 00:08:18.319 --> 00:08:21.860 In other words, be grateful. Focus on what you 00:08:21.860 --> 00:08:24.579 do have in your marriage. Focus what you do have 00:08:24.579 --> 00:08:27.399 in life. Thank God for what you do have rather 00:08:27.399 --> 00:08:30.720 than focus on what you don't have. And then he 00:08:30.720 --> 00:08:33.740 goes, let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts. 00:08:33.759 --> 00:08:36.200 Another command. We'll talk about what that means. 00:08:37.230 --> 00:08:39.909 Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you. 00:08:39.970 --> 00:08:42.250 Another command. And then whatever you do in 00:08:42.250 --> 00:08:44.730 word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord 00:08:44.730 --> 00:08:51.110 Jesus. So let's dig in. Skill number one. How 00:08:51.110 --> 00:08:54.450 to develop spiritual intimacy. Spiritual intimacy 00:08:54.450 --> 00:08:58.629 with Christ is cultivated by actively believing 00:08:58.629 --> 00:09:06.029 two things. Number one, whose we are. In other 00:09:06.029 --> 00:09:09.190 words, That you've chosen. You got your notes. 00:09:09.250 --> 00:09:14.129 But open your Bibles if you will. And I'd like 00:09:14.129 --> 00:09:18.309 to read from Colossians chapter 1. And I want 00:09:18.309 --> 00:09:22.309 you to listen. This is true of you. If at a certain 00:09:22.309 --> 00:09:25.169 day. On a certain point in your life. You have 00:09:25.169 --> 00:09:27.409 grasped that you're not perfect. You don't have 00:09:27.409 --> 00:09:29.549 it all together. And if God was giving out a 00:09:29.549 --> 00:09:32.210 score. And your score would not be 100. What 00:09:32.210 --> 00:09:35.889 the Bible calls that is a falling short. Or you've 00:09:35.889 --> 00:09:41.789 sinned. If you become aware of that and realize 00:09:41.789 --> 00:09:44.350 because that creates a barrier with the perfectly 00:09:44.350 --> 00:09:47.409 holy God and you needed help and in the empty 00:09:47.409 --> 00:09:50.370 hands of faith, you put your trust in Jesus to 00:09:50.370 --> 00:09:53.950 pay for your sin and to cover your sin and connect 00:09:53.950 --> 00:09:58.059 you. by faith to a living relationship, the Bible 00:09:58.059 --> 00:10:00.179 says you were taken out of the kingdom of darkness 00:10:00.179 --> 00:10:02.840 and you were placed in the kingdom of light because 00:10:02.840 --> 00:10:05.960 you're united now with Jesus. That you actually 00:10:05.960 --> 00:10:08.639 died with him and you've been raised with him 00:10:08.639 --> 00:10:11.279 and now you're connected with him and he actually 00:10:11.279 --> 00:10:16.299 lives inside of you. And if that's true, then 00:10:16.299 --> 00:10:20.509 this is who you are. Follow along, if you will. 00:10:20.789 --> 00:10:24.230 Verse 13 of chapter 1. For he has rescued us 00:10:24.230 --> 00:10:27.110 from the dominion of darkness and brought us 00:10:27.110 --> 00:10:30.629 into the kingdom of the Son that he loves, in 00:10:30.629 --> 00:10:34.429 whom we have redemption. What's that? The forgiveness 00:10:34.429 --> 00:10:37.850 of our sins. And now speaking of Jesus, this 00:10:37.850 --> 00:10:41.289 is who chose you. He is the image or the icon 00:10:41.289 --> 00:10:43.549 of the invisible God, the firstborn over all 00:10:43.549 --> 00:10:46.450 creation. For by him all things were created, 00:10:46.509 --> 00:10:48.909 things in heaven and things on earth, visible 00:10:48.909 --> 00:10:51.970 and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers 00:10:51.970 --> 00:10:55.649 or authority, all things were created by him 00:10:55.649 --> 00:10:59.549 and for him. He is before all things, and in 00:10:59.549 --> 00:11:02.889 him all things hold together. And he is the head 00:11:02.889 --> 00:11:05.590 of the body, the church. He's the beginning of 00:11:05.590 --> 00:11:08.169 the firstborn from among the dead, so that in 00:11:08.169 --> 00:11:12.090 everything he might have supremacy. For God was 00:11:12.090 --> 00:11:15.539 pleased. to have all his fullness dwell in him, 00:11:15.679 --> 00:11:19.240 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, 00:11:19.500 --> 00:11:22.600 whether things on earth or things in heaven, 00:11:22.679 --> 00:11:25.000 by making peace through his blood shed on the 00:11:25.000 --> 00:11:28.879 cross. Once you, that's you and me, were alienated 00:11:28.879 --> 00:11:32.299 from God and were enemies in your minds because 00:11:32.299 --> 00:11:38.240 of your evil behavior, but now he has reconciled 00:11:38.240 --> 00:11:41.980 you. Some of you know what reconciliation is, 00:11:42.039 --> 00:11:47.860 right? It's when you're enemies and then you're 00:11:47.860 --> 00:11:51.740 friends. We were enemies of God because of our 00:11:51.740 --> 00:11:54.240 sin, going our own way, either by passive indifference, 00:11:54.399 --> 00:11:56.700 I don't care much about God, or active rebellion. 00:11:57.799 --> 00:12:00.240 We were reconciled by Christ's physical body 00:12:00.240 --> 00:12:03.240 to the death to present you wholly in His sight 00:12:03.240 --> 00:12:07.419 without blemish and free from accusation. Since 00:12:07.419 --> 00:12:09.919 you continue in your faith, establish firm and 00:12:09.919 --> 00:12:12.919 not move from the hope held in the gospel. This 00:12:12.919 --> 00:12:15.440 is the gospel that you heard and that's been 00:12:15.440 --> 00:12:18.399 proclaimed to every creature under heaven and 00:12:18.399 --> 00:12:22.720 of which I, Paul, have become a servant. Spiritual 00:12:22.720 --> 00:12:26.019 intimacy with Christ is cultivated by actively 00:12:26.019 --> 00:12:34.659 believing whose we are. You're his. You can't 00:12:34.659 --> 00:12:37.610 work your way there. You can't get him to love 00:12:37.610 --> 00:12:40.490 you more. Here's a thought that has just so blown 00:12:40.490 --> 00:12:44.110 my mind. In this very moment, there is nothing 00:12:44.110 --> 00:12:47.070 you could ever do to get God to love you more 00:12:47.070 --> 00:12:51.110 than he loves you right now. And it gets even 00:12:51.110 --> 00:12:54.370 more amazing. There is absolutely nothing you 00:12:54.370 --> 00:12:58.730 could do, nothing, that could get him to love 00:12:58.730 --> 00:13:02.129 you less. Now, you could make some decisions 00:13:02.129 --> 00:13:04.129 and have some behaviors that could cause some 00:13:04.129 --> 00:13:08.649 consequences that out of his love, he might bring 00:13:08.649 --> 00:13:12.029 sort of the velvet vice to restore the relationship, 00:13:12.230 --> 00:13:16.090 to help you grow. But he doesn't love you more 00:13:16.090 --> 00:13:17.990 when you read the Bible. He doesn't love you 00:13:17.990 --> 00:13:20.269 more when you pray. He doesn't love you more 00:13:20.269 --> 00:13:23.330 when you do good things. He's not shocked when 00:13:23.330 --> 00:13:26.110 you fall back into a sin pattern. If you could 00:13:26.110 --> 00:13:30.960 ever grasp How much he loves you and chose you. 00:13:31.039 --> 00:13:33.720 We all say we believe in grace, but we act like, 00:13:33.820 --> 00:13:36.039 oh yeah, I got in by grace, but now I gotta, 00:13:36.139 --> 00:13:39.019 it's up to me. God loves me when I'm good and 00:13:39.019 --> 00:13:42.980 he doesn't when I'm bad. He loves you, period. 00:13:43.600 --> 00:13:48.379 He chose you. He's for you. He delights in you. 00:13:48.960 --> 00:13:52.620 The prayers of the upright are his delight. He 00:13:52.620 --> 00:13:55.480 sings over you. He takes great delight in you. 00:13:56.600 --> 00:13:59.220 I was in a conversation at the supper table and 00:13:59.220 --> 00:14:04.039 the lady I sat next to, I had such a invigorating 00:14:04.039 --> 00:14:06.740 conversation and we were talking about this. 00:14:07.039 --> 00:14:09.379 She goes, you know, I just learned that God doesn't 00:14:09.379 --> 00:14:14.440 want my devotions. He wants my devotion. It's 00:14:14.440 --> 00:14:18.379 about us, our relationship. The second thing, 00:14:18.480 --> 00:14:22.399 because see, you won't have intimacy with Christ 00:14:22.399 --> 00:14:26.519 if somehow you keep trying to earn it. The second 00:14:26.519 --> 00:14:31.000 is who you've become, that you're holy. Chapter 00:14:31.000 --> 00:14:33.440 two, picking it up at verse nine. For in Christ, 00:14:33.440 --> 00:14:36.299 all the fullness of deity dwells in bodily form. 00:14:36.460 --> 00:14:38.519 That means all there is of God was in Jesus. 00:14:39.700 --> 00:14:43.139 And you have been given fullness in Christ, who 00:14:43.139 --> 00:14:46.440 is head over every power and authority. In him 00:14:46.440 --> 00:14:49.200 you were also circumcised in the putting off 00:14:49.200 --> 00:14:52.019 of your sinful nature. Not with the circumcision 00:14:52.019 --> 00:14:54.840 done with hands of men, but a circumcision done 00:14:55.820 --> 00:15:00.539 By Christ. A circumcision of the heart. Have 00:15:00.539 --> 00:15:02.679 been buried with him in baptism. Raised with 00:15:02.679 --> 00:15:05.399 him through faith in the power of God. Who raised 00:15:05.399 --> 00:15:08.139 him from the dead. When you were dead in your 00:15:08.139 --> 00:15:10.779 sins. And in the uncircumcision of your sinful 00:15:10.779 --> 00:15:15.919 nature. God made you alive with Christ. He forgave 00:15:15.919 --> 00:15:18.940 all of our sins. Having canceled out the written 00:15:18.940 --> 00:15:22.080 code with regulations that was against us and 00:15:22.080 --> 00:15:24.580 that stood opposed to us, he took it all away, 00:15:24.700 --> 00:15:27.840 nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed, 00:15:27.879 --> 00:15:31.200 this is the spiritual powers and authorities, 00:15:31.600 --> 00:15:34.820 he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing 00:15:34.820 --> 00:15:42.059 over them by the cross. God looks at you this 00:15:42.059 --> 00:15:45.460 day through the lens of the blood of his son. 00:15:45.879 --> 00:15:49.159 Not only you are precious and loved, but you 00:15:49.159 --> 00:15:52.960 are forgiven. You are clean. That is your position 00:15:52.960 --> 00:15:58.039 with him. And when you understand that, that's 00:15:58.039 --> 00:16:01.279 the first step toward on that triangle, you as 00:16:01.279 --> 00:16:04.299 the man, you as the woman, drawing near to God. 00:16:04.980 --> 00:16:06.700 I don't know about you, but I didn't grow up 00:16:06.700 --> 00:16:08.519 as a Christian and I did lots of things that 00:16:08.519 --> 00:16:13.360 were not good. And after I became a Christian, 00:16:13.769 --> 00:16:16.210 Every time I messed up, I didn't want to talk 00:16:16.210 --> 00:16:17.710 to God. I thought I was going to get the hammer. 00:16:19.610 --> 00:16:24.070 I had no idea that His love doesn't change just 00:16:24.070 --> 00:16:27.330 because I mess up. But just like a father, I 00:16:27.330 --> 00:16:29.870 have these little grandkids right now, some big 00:16:29.870 --> 00:16:32.590 ones and some little ones, and they get to be 00:16:32.590 --> 00:16:35.809 about 9 to 12 to 14 months, they start walking. 00:16:36.690 --> 00:16:41.419 And some of you have kids or grandkids. You know, 00:16:41.460 --> 00:16:43.419 when they start right, you know, they get in 00:16:43.419 --> 00:16:45.539 their table, and they do this little bit, and 00:16:45.539 --> 00:16:47.820 then what? Bam, right? And their parents do what 00:16:47.820 --> 00:16:49.820 every good parent does. Get up! What's wrong 00:16:49.820 --> 00:16:53.159 with you? Man, you're 10 months old. You ought 00:16:53.159 --> 00:16:55.159 to be running by now. Get up right now. Come 00:16:55.159 --> 00:16:56.320 on, honey. Tell them to get up. Is that what 00:16:56.320 --> 00:17:00.159 you do? What do parents do? Or grandparents. 00:17:00.419 --> 00:17:04.880 We're worse. I got the gene myself. Here, here, 00:17:04.920 --> 00:17:07.759 Johnny, Johnny. Oh, oh, oh, get the camera. Get 00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:09.730 the camera. Get the camera. He took two steps. 00:17:09.890 --> 00:17:13.970 And we posted on Facebook, Instagram. Oh, my 00:17:13.970 --> 00:17:17.609 gosh. Can you believe that? She took two steps. 00:17:17.690 --> 00:17:21.390 I mean, they go nuts. So where do you think you 00:17:21.390 --> 00:17:26.509 get that? When you say to God, I'm going to choose 00:17:26.509 --> 00:17:28.890 to be the one that says I'm sorry, even though 00:17:28.890 --> 00:17:31.690 I think it was 80 % her fault and 20 % mine. 00:17:33.259 --> 00:17:36.140 God, I don't feel like reading the Bible, but 00:17:36.140 --> 00:17:38.660 I made this commitment, and I want to develop 00:17:38.660 --> 00:17:41.480 this, and it's kind of hard for me. I'm ADD. 00:17:41.500 --> 00:17:47.180 I get distracted, but your Heavenly Father, He 00:17:47.180 --> 00:17:52.880 just leans in. He just wants you. Intimacy. It's 00:17:52.880 --> 00:17:56.019 believing that He wants you, that He loves you, 00:17:56.059 --> 00:17:59.319 that He's for you. It's not for someone else 00:17:59.319 --> 00:18:02.339 that when you draw near, He'll draw near to you. 00:18:05.000 --> 00:18:07.259 And in terms of marriage, here's what I want 00:18:07.259 --> 00:18:10.160 you to get. I said it earlier, you can't give 00:18:10.160 --> 00:18:14.759 away what you do not have. Until you see yourself 00:18:14.759 --> 00:18:19.599 the way God sees you and love your mate out of 00:18:19.599 --> 00:18:24.440 overflow, you will instead have loving acts to 00:18:24.440 --> 00:18:27.839 get your own needs met, to get what you want, 00:18:28.019 --> 00:18:32.380 and to benefit you. And when you don't get them, 00:18:32.420 --> 00:18:36.670 you get angry. And if you watch enough TV, you'll 00:18:36.670 --> 00:18:38.930 believe lies like there's someone better out 00:18:38.930 --> 00:18:43.309 there or that you ought to have no problems and 00:18:43.309 --> 00:18:46.190 this person ought to come through. And so you 00:18:46.190 --> 00:18:48.289 will love conditionally and your love will be 00:18:48.289 --> 00:18:51.369 fragile and it will only be horizontal and it 00:18:51.369 --> 00:18:54.009 will crack under pressure and you will probably 00:18:54.009 --> 00:18:56.849 live a very painful life to learn that there 00:18:56.849 --> 00:18:59.390 is no human being on the earth that can give 00:18:59.390 --> 00:19:02.769 you what you're looking for. But you'll go through 00:19:02.769 --> 00:19:05.569 relationship after relationship after relationship 00:19:05.569 --> 00:19:08.970 demanding something that no one else can deliver. 00:19:10.789 --> 00:19:17.029 Or you can come to believe and accept that God 00:19:17.029 --> 00:19:19.950 will give you all that you have, but you need 00:19:19.950 --> 00:19:23.769 to receive from Him first before you can give. 00:19:24.630 --> 00:19:27.470 In my deepest times, when I wanted to walk out 00:19:27.470 --> 00:19:29.710 of our relationship, by the way, I was in seminary. 00:19:29.750 --> 00:19:36.660 Not a good place. Because even during counseling, 00:19:36.819 --> 00:19:38.359 I would learn what we're supposed to do. And 00:19:38.359 --> 00:19:42.640 it was like, okay, I'm doing my part. Teresa, 00:19:42.799 --> 00:19:46.900 let's come with the program. You know, hey, we 00:19:46.900 --> 00:19:48.599 were supposed to do this. I did this. You're 00:19:48.599 --> 00:19:52.319 supposed to like get affectionate now. I took 00:19:52.319 --> 00:19:55.099 out the trash three times this week. What don't 00:19:55.099 --> 00:19:59.680 you get about this marriage? Perfunctorily with 00:19:59.680 --> 00:20:01.140 a bad attitude, but that's beside the point. 00:20:02.990 --> 00:20:06.150 I did the right thing so she would respond in 00:20:06.150 --> 00:20:09.529 ways that I wanted her to. Our marriage stopped 00:20:09.529 --> 00:20:13.029 when I took a long walk with God and in tears 00:20:13.029 --> 00:20:17.670 said, God, I can't change her. And I heard the 00:20:17.670 --> 00:20:19.349 Holy Spirit, you know, sometimes he whispers, 00:20:19.410 --> 00:20:22.769 I think he shouted on this one. That's not your 00:20:22.769 --> 00:20:26.609 job. There's only one person you can change, 00:20:26.630 --> 00:20:33.900 Chip. That's you. I don't, If she never responds, 00:20:34.200 --> 00:20:38.660 you made a vow. She's my daughter. I want you 00:20:38.660 --> 00:20:44.079 to treat her like my daughter. I love her. I 00:20:44.079 --> 00:20:48.400 want my love to go to her the way I give it to 00:20:48.400 --> 00:20:53.099 you with no expectation of return. She doesn't 00:20:53.099 --> 00:20:54.960 have to be more affectionate. She doesn't have 00:20:54.960 --> 00:20:57.880 to say kinder words. Things don't have to be 00:20:57.880 --> 00:21:01.160 warmer, better. You are now going to love her. 00:21:01.480 --> 00:21:04.240 And if the only reason you do it is to please 00:21:04.240 --> 00:21:15.700 me, that's enough. And I did. And she did. I've 00:21:15.700 --> 00:21:19.539 been doing this for a long time. I've been a 00:21:19.539 --> 00:21:24.200 pastor about 36, 38 years. And I'm going to say 00:21:24.200 --> 00:21:25.740 this, and some of you, it's going to be like 00:21:25.740 --> 00:21:28.380 BB's off a tank, but for the 10 % that will actually 00:21:28.380 --> 00:21:31.859 listen, if I told you how many marriages are 00:21:31.859 --> 00:21:35.259 in separation or divorce or broke up because 00:21:35.259 --> 00:21:37.900 they had what they thought was a really big problem 00:21:37.900 --> 00:21:42.660 that was about this big, and instead of recognizing, 00:21:42.920 --> 00:21:45.420 yes, it's painful, yes, you feel rejection, yes, 00:21:45.460 --> 00:21:47.880 you have feelings and thoughts and anger and 00:21:47.880 --> 00:21:49.740 emotions you thought you could never feel toward 00:21:49.740 --> 00:21:53.359 this person that you love, I get it, okay? And 00:21:53.359 --> 00:21:57.359 you'll get through it. You roll up your sleeves 00:21:57.359 --> 00:22:01.880 and you say, this marriage is terrible right 00:22:01.880 --> 00:22:06.500 now. And then you make a huge shift and say, 00:22:06.680 --> 00:22:14.880 I'll never change him. But I'm going to let God 00:22:14.880 --> 00:22:19.200 change me. And you know, you understand that 00:22:19.200 --> 00:22:23.440 every relationship is a system. When one person 00:22:23.440 --> 00:22:27.819 changes, the dynamic changes. It just changes. 00:22:31.900 --> 00:22:39.519 Spiritual intimacy is cultivated with your mate 00:22:39.519 --> 00:22:42.700 by recognizing the supremacy of Christ's role 00:22:42.700 --> 00:22:46.819 and relationship in your marriage. I read verses 00:22:46.819 --> 00:22:49.720 15 through 18 where he is above all things. He's 00:22:49.720 --> 00:22:53.250 the icon. It's a really interesting word. If 00:22:53.250 --> 00:22:57.430 you take a piece of clay, soft clay, or in our 00:22:57.430 --> 00:22:59.789 day, Play -Doh, and if you took like a coin, 00:22:59.910 --> 00:23:02.990 like a silver dollar, and if you pressed it into 00:23:02.990 --> 00:23:05.630 that real hard, and then you pulled out the silver 00:23:05.630 --> 00:23:07.430 dollar, what would you have in the Play -Doh? 00:23:08.529 --> 00:23:13.690 You'd have the exact image of that. Jesus is 00:23:13.690 --> 00:23:19.190 the exact icon image of the invisible God. All 00:23:19.190 --> 00:23:21.890 the fullness dwells in him. Did you remember 00:23:21.890 --> 00:23:25.470 what we read? He created all things. He sustains 00:23:25.470 --> 00:23:28.150 all things by the word of his power. All things 00:23:28.150 --> 00:23:30.650 were created by him and for him. And he's the 00:23:30.650 --> 00:23:32.490 head of the church. And he's the firstborn from 00:23:32.490 --> 00:23:34.930 the dead. And he has supremacy over everything. 00:23:35.289 --> 00:23:38.569 If you want to have intimacy in your relationship 00:23:38.569 --> 00:23:42.109 horizontally, he has to have the same place in 00:23:42.109 --> 00:23:44.789 your life and the same place in your marriage 00:23:44.789 --> 00:23:50.980 that he has in the universe. That means if he 00:23:50.980 --> 00:23:55.880 says, men, I want you to love your wife. Good 00:23:55.880 --> 00:23:58.819 days, bad days. What's love look like? Well, 00:23:58.859 --> 00:24:03.259 just ask Jesus. Well, what do you mean? He was 00:24:03.259 --> 00:24:05.400 willing to die for his bride. You need to be 00:24:05.400 --> 00:24:08.700 willing to die for her and not just metaphorically. 00:24:10.720 --> 00:24:14.779 Well, put her needs ahead. Cherish her. Protect 00:24:14.779 --> 00:24:17.799 her. Provide for her. Live with her in an understanding 00:24:17.799 --> 00:24:24.109 way. You be Jesus to her. That's your call. Regardless 00:24:24.109 --> 00:24:26.890 of how she responds. Well, why should I do that? 00:24:27.009 --> 00:24:29.990 Because I'm God and I created it and I designed 00:24:29.990 --> 00:24:33.809 it and I told you to. How's that? No, we're in 00:24:33.809 --> 00:24:38.750 such air. The byproducts of marriage happen to 00:24:38.750 --> 00:24:41.210 be that you get to have children. You're not 00:24:41.210 --> 00:24:44.670 alone. You have good sex, if not great sex occasionally. 00:24:46.730 --> 00:24:50.849 And you have a life companion. But the major 00:24:50.849 --> 00:24:53.390 point of marriage is not so that you're happy 00:24:53.390 --> 00:24:56.930 or even fulfilled. The major point of marriage 00:24:56.930 --> 00:25:00.869 is it's a metaphor to declare Jesus and the church. 00:25:01.390 --> 00:25:04.829 Your marriage, your love, your forgiveness, your 00:25:04.829 --> 00:25:08.730 working through problems, you caring and loving 00:25:08.730 --> 00:25:11.970 and cherishing and respecting is to be the picture 00:25:11.970 --> 00:25:17.369 of Jesus and his bride. And the loudest, the 00:25:17.369 --> 00:25:20.069 loudest, the greatest picture that the world 00:25:20.069 --> 00:25:23.170 will ever see of Christians is marriages where 00:25:23.170 --> 00:25:26.250 they love one another. Well, it's easy to love 00:25:26.250 --> 00:25:29.109 one another. I mean, pagans can love one another 00:25:29.109 --> 00:25:33.730 when everything's great. The church, your job, 00:25:33.769 --> 00:25:38.430 my job, is to demonstrate as a man what Christ's 00:25:38.430 --> 00:25:41.230 love is like to the church. And as a woman, what's 00:25:41.230 --> 00:25:44.500 it like for a church to respond? in love and 00:25:44.500 --> 00:25:48.559 respect and tender consideration and connection 00:25:48.559 --> 00:25:56.980 to Christ. There's few things that will make 00:25:56.980 --> 00:26:00.559 a bigger difference in the watching world than 00:26:00.559 --> 00:26:03.759 your marriage. If you want to have intimacy, 00:26:03.980 --> 00:26:05.740 it can't be like, God, I really want a great 00:26:05.740 --> 00:26:11.630 marriage. Okay. There's some really good verses 00:26:11.630 --> 00:26:13.710 here for my wife. Hon, you need to read these. 00:26:15.210 --> 00:26:19.250 Man, these are really good ones. Yeah. I'm not 00:26:19.250 --> 00:26:20.809 sure what all the submissive stuff is, but it 00:26:20.809 --> 00:26:28.930 sounds pretty darn good. You want to have a great 00:26:28.930 --> 00:26:37.089 marriage? I mean, can you imagine the designers 00:26:37.089 --> 00:26:39.910 and the engineers and the people that have... 00:26:40.119 --> 00:26:42.339 put together the things that you all do all around 00:26:42.339 --> 00:26:45.460 the world. Can you just imagine going, you know, 00:26:45.480 --> 00:26:48.660 I just don't read manuals. I'm just going to 00:26:48.660 --> 00:26:51.940 do this any way I think is better. How would 00:26:51.940 --> 00:26:58.579 that work? The creator of the universe has made 00:26:58.579 --> 00:27:01.980 it clear what he wants you to do and what it 00:27:01.980 --> 00:27:06.029 looks like. He did it because he loves you. He 00:27:06.029 --> 00:27:08.349 did it because he's good. He did it because he 00:27:08.349 --> 00:27:12.269 cares. And yes, it's counterintuitive. And by 00:27:12.269 --> 00:27:18.089 the way, ready? It's hard. I had a guy come to 00:27:18.089 --> 00:27:21.410 me and he's a young guy in the Silicon Valley 00:27:21.410 --> 00:27:27.349 and has done real well financially. And we'd 00:27:27.349 --> 00:27:29.029 meet him and think, oh, you have this beautiful 00:27:29.029 --> 00:27:32.920 wife. you know, kids and a great job and blah, 00:27:32.980 --> 00:27:35.380 blah, blah, blah, blah. And we were playing nine 00:27:35.380 --> 00:27:37.380 holes of golf. And he goes, you know, I'm just, 00:27:37.579 --> 00:27:41.579 I just, something's really, really wrong. I said, 00:27:41.599 --> 00:27:43.900 what's that? He goes like this, man, I'm really 00:27:43.900 --> 00:27:46.299 trying hard to be a good husband. It's just, 00:27:46.319 --> 00:27:48.039 it's just shouldn't be this hard. There's always 00:27:48.039 --> 00:27:50.240 something. I mean, there's always something, 00:27:50.339 --> 00:27:54.480 you know, and then he, I don't want to be too 00:27:54.480 --> 00:27:57.579 crass. We're good buddies. And by the way, he's 00:27:57.579 --> 00:28:01.410 now done, you know, like a 180. But it was like, 00:28:01.410 --> 00:28:03.890 you know, this and this and this and this. And 00:28:03.890 --> 00:28:06.769 I'm thinking, would you grow up? Those are such, 00:28:06.789 --> 00:28:09.490 you know, nickel and dime stuff. And so finally, 00:28:09.529 --> 00:28:12.109 he actually played in the arena football, was 00:28:12.109 --> 00:28:14.609 an excellent athlete. And so I just asked him, 00:28:14.630 --> 00:28:16.170 I said, excuse me, can I ask you a question? 00:28:16.390 --> 00:28:19.650 I said, did you ever do two days growing up in 00:28:19.650 --> 00:28:21.569 football? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or what about 00:28:21.569 --> 00:28:24.039 in college? you know, all American, all that 00:28:24.039 --> 00:28:26.000 kind of stuff. Did you like hit the weight room 00:28:26.000 --> 00:28:28.599 and nutrition? And oh man, it was like your life. 00:28:28.700 --> 00:28:30.480 And this is what we did. And when you played 00:28:30.480 --> 00:28:33.619 pro ball, like what was that like? And oh man, 00:28:33.779 --> 00:28:36.299 I said, so what you're telling me is to be a 00:28:36.299 --> 00:28:38.640 star and be a football player, it's really hard. 00:28:38.680 --> 00:28:41.339 You get hit, you get up early, you lift weights, 00:28:41.440 --> 00:28:43.859 you eat, you go to sleep and you focus your whole 00:28:43.859 --> 00:28:47.779 life, but your wife's not worth that? Really? 00:28:48.740 --> 00:28:52.420 Really? Who told you it's supposed to be easy? 00:28:52.839 --> 00:28:55.859 In fact, here's the deal. I'm convinced, this 00:28:55.859 --> 00:28:58.039 is Chip Ingram, not the Bible, so put this in 00:28:58.039 --> 00:29:00.400 your notes, asterisk, Ingram thinks this, don't 00:29:00.400 --> 00:29:03.779 know if it's really true. No, I'm serious. I 00:29:03.779 --> 00:29:05.440 have a lot of Chip Ingram when I try to keep 00:29:05.440 --> 00:29:08.859 to the Bible, but this is one of mine. I'm convinced 00:29:08.859 --> 00:29:12.279 that God actually has created marriage in such 00:29:12.279 --> 00:29:16.759 a way that it really doesn't work. I mean, two 00:29:16.759 --> 00:29:20.910 people with different personalities that are 00:29:20.910 --> 00:29:23.109 both selfish and both sinners, it really doesn't 00:29:23.109 --> 00:29:27.329 work unless you follow the design and you get 00:29:27.329 --> 00:29:29.890 to where he gives you unconditional love and 00:29:29.890 --> 00:29:32.069 you can put the other person first and do all 00:29:32.069 --> 00:29:34.569 the super counterintuitive stuff. Everything 00:29:34.569 --> 00:29:36.769 that has made our marriage really, really good 00:29:36.769 --> 00:29:42.710 is like, this is crazy. I'm the man. I should 00:29:42.710 --> 00:29:44.769 get up and make coffee in the morning. I should 00:29:44.769 --> 00:29:47.710 bring it to her. I should affirm her. I should 00:29:47.710 --> 00:29:52.309 do this. What about me? And every time I keep 00:29:52.309 --> 00:29:55.269 little by little learning what it means to cherish 00:29:55.269 --> 00:29:58.930 her and serve her and help her discover her gifts 00:29:58.930 --> 00:30:02.289 and understand in ways that they still don't 00:30:02.289 --> 00:30:05.569 make sense to me how she thinks. You know what? 00:30:05.609 --> 00:30:08.509 I don't have to understand it. But I've learned 00:30:08.509 --> 00:30:13.509 to not fix it and just listen. And the more you 00:30:13.509 --> 00:30:17.930 become like Jesus, the easier you are to live 00:30:17.930 --> 00:30:21.660 with. Can you imagine that? Can you imagine being 00:30:21.660 --> 00:30:25.299 married to someone who's very kind? Can you imagine 00:30:25.299 --> 00:30:27.220 being married to someone who's humble, that just 00:30:27.220 --> 00:30:30.099 on a regular basis, just not acts humble, but 00:30:30.099 --> 00:30:32.940 just actually puts your needs ahead of theirs? 00:30:33.039 --> 00:30:36.619 Or someone that bears with you that, you know, 00:30:36.740 --> 00:30:39.039 the underwear is still on the floor, the toothpaste 00:30:39.039 --> 00:30:41.359 is still like that, you still interrupt me when 00:30:41.359 --> 00:30:46.480 we're with other people, and I love you. I mean, 00:30:46.539 --> 00:30:51.880 it's an amazing thing. And that's the core of 00:30:51.880 --> 00:31:00.019 building intimacy. Let's jump into how to get 00:31:00.019 --> 00:31:04.200 really, really practical. Why build a marriage 00:31:04.200 --> 00:31:08.160 God's way? First, because He commanded it. And 00:31:08.160 --> 00:31:11.920 second, because it's for your benefit. And let 00:31:11.920 --> 00:31:16.420 me give you some very specific benefits of marriage. 00:31:17.390 --> 00:31:22.309 Doing it God's way. These are so helpful. I listed 00:31:22.309 --> 00:31:24.710 them, and you'll notice there's a little asterisk, 00:31:24.710 --> 00:31:26.410 and at the bottom, Divorce Proof Your Marriage 00:31:26.410 --> 00:31:34.990 by Gary and Barbara Rosberg. Spiritual intimacy 00:31:34.990 --> 00:31:38.430 allows you to connect at the deepest level. I 00:31:38.430 --> 00:31:41.309 mean, we connect emotionally. We connect spiritually. 00:31:42.529 --> 00:31:45.869 But I will tell you, the deepest possible connection 00:31:47.240 --> 00:31:51.259 will be a connection of your spirits in the presence 00:31:51.259 --> 00:31:56.160 of God that will build a bond that it like puts 00:31:56.160 --> 00:31:58.900 the emotions on steroids and the physical on 00:31:58.900 --> 00:32:03.779 steroids. Spiritual intimacy, as you draw closer 00:32:03.779 --> 00:32:06.559 to God and as you begin, and we'll talk about 00:32:06.559 --> 00:32:08.759 how, and by the way, I'm going to tell you a 00:32:08.759 --> 00:32:11.319 little bit later, it's really a challenge to 00:32:11.319 --> 00:32:13.940 develop spiritual intimacy. It's a lot easier 00:32:13.940 --> 00:32:15.859 to develop physical intimacy or even emotional 00:32:15.859 --> 00:32:20.390 intimacy. Second is spiritual intimacy links 00:32:20.390 --> 00:32:22.970 you with God's purposes and plans for your life. 00:32:23.589 --> 00:32:26.250 He says, I know the plans that I have for you, 00:32:26.289 --> 00:32:29.490 Jeremiah, right? 29, 11. They're plans for good, 00:32:29.670 --> 00:32:32.190 not for evil, for your welfare, to give you a 00:32:32.190 --> 00:32:36.569 hope and a future. When you connect you with 00:32:36.569 --> 00:32:42.369 God and her or him with God, then it aligns you 00:32:42.369 --> 00:32:46.049 to know his voice and his plans and his direction 00:32:46.049 --> 00:32:48.849 for your life. Third, spiritual intimacy allows 00:32:48.849 --> 00:32:53.430 you to bless each other with God's love. That's 00:32:53.430 --> 00:32:56.170 what I've been talking a lot about. All I can 00:32:56.170 --> 00:33:01.130 tell you is we've overplayed. I'm not going to 00:33:01.130 --> 00:33:05.549 go down my Hallmark story right now, but if I 00:33:05.549 --> 00:33:08.849 watched like 50 Hallmarks, I would think that 00:33:08.849 --> 00:33:12.160 all of love is about... ooey -gooey emotions, 00:33:12.680 --> 00:33:16.220 starry -eyed, meeting people, and kissing when 00:33:16.220 --> 00:33:21.180 it starts to snow. Based solely on physical attraction 00:33:21.180 --> 00:33:24.079 by, seems to be, very, very pretty people who 00:33:24.079 --> 00:33:26.700 live in really nice houses, who actually have 00:33:26.700 --> 00:33:29.559 a lot of time to do everything except work, because 00:33:29.559 --> 00:33:34.819 they, I mean, and within the first seven minutes, 00:33:34.839 --> 00:33:37.759 I have no idea how it's going to end, except 00:33:37.759 --> 00:33:42.160 I think they're going to fall in love. And 10 00:33:42.160 --> 00:33:44.039 minutes before it's over, it doesn't look like 00:33:44.039 --> 00:33:48.220 it's going to work. And oh, yes, it does. And 00:33:48.220 --> 00:33:53.059 I don't mean that as crassly, but there's a diet 00:33:53.059 --> 00:33:56.920 of that that is so permeated our culture. People 00:33:56.920 --> 00:34:01.500 actually believe love is romantic feelings. And 00:34:01.500 --> 00:34:04.339 we've developed such a narcissistic culture that 00:34:04.339 --> 00:34:06.599 you think when you're unhappy, something's wrong. 00:34:08.940 --> 00:34:12.139 You understand, Jesus was unhappy a lot. Hebrews 00:34:12.139 --> 00:34:15.579 says in the course of his lifetime, he shed many 00:34:15.579 --> 00:34:21.460 tears. He hurt for people. He was lonely. He 00:34:21.460 --> 00:34:25.340 was rejected. He was tempted in every way, just 00:34:25.340 --> 00:34:28.219 like you and just like me. He was fully human, 00:34:28.400 --> 00:34:34.659 yet without sin. Part of life is down days, hard 00:34:34.659 --> 00:34:39.500 days, struggle days. For you've been called to 00:34:39.500 --> 00:34:41.980 this purpose since Christ also suffered for you. 00:34:42.980 --> 00:34:48.760 Who though he suffered, he didn't revile or pay 00:34:48.760 --> 00:34:51.340 back, but entrusted himself to a faithful creator. 00:34:52.980 --> 00:34:59.019 Suffering is a part of life. We've lived in this 00:34:59.019 --> 00:35:02.440 last... 30 to 40 years, and it's creeped more 00:35:02.440 --> 00:35:04.699 and more into evangelical Christianity at all 00:35:04.699 --> 00:35:07.960 levels that somehow Jesus wants to make you self 00:35:07.960 --> 00:35:10.960 -fulfilled and happy and make everything go great. 00:35:11.179 --> 00:35:14.719 And when Jesus doesn't do that, you're disillusioned. 00:35:14.719 --> 00:35:18.780 When you demand from God promises he never made, 00:35:18.960 --> 00:35:23.699 you're worshiping a God that doesn't exist. His 00:35:23.699 --> 00:35:28.170 agenda is not to make you happy. He doesn't work 00:35:28.170 --> 00:35:30.329 all things together for your good to those that 00:35:30.329 --> 00:35:32.829 are called, to those that love him, so that you'll 00:35:32.829 --> 00:35:36.610 be self -fulfilled and happy. How many people, 00:35:36.630 --> 00:35:39.250 by the way, know Romans 8 .28? See, we interpret 00:35:39.250 --> 00:35:42.150 that verse as God works all things together for 00:35:42.150 --> 00:35:43.550 the good, for those that are called according 00:35:43.550 --> 00:35:46.570 to his purpose. And the good that we define is 00:35:46.570 --> 00:35:51.190 my life works. Hey, you say God's in control. 00:35:51.289 --> 00:35:54.090 I don't have a job. I've lost my house, and I 00:35:54.090 --> 00:35:56.030 don't have very much money, and my kid's got 00:35:56.030 --> 00:35:59.110 to drop out of school for a year. So is God in 00:35:59.110 --> 00:36:02.769 control? Of course he is. So when did God ever 00:36:02.769 --> 00:36:05.150 promise that so other people can lose their house 00:36:05.150 --> 00:36:07.230 but not you, that someone else can go out of 00:36:07.230 --> 00:36:08.489 business, that you don't go through hardship? 00:36:08.829 --> 00:36:11.809 Verse 29 doesn't say God's in control so your 00:36:11.809 --> 00:36:15.170 life works out great. It says, verse 29, to conform 00:36:15.170 --> 00:36:19.559 you to the image of his son. God's agenda is 00:36:19.559 --> 00:36:24.820 to make you like Jesus. By the way, the challenges 00:36:24.820 --> 00:36:28.000 in your marriage, God's number one issue probably 00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:29.980 with the person that you're married to, it's 00:36:29.980 --> 00:36:32.400 like sandpaper against sandpaper. It's probably 00:36:32.400 --> 00:36:35.659 to make you more patient, more kind, more humble, 00:36:35.780 --> 00:36:38.280 more loving, more compassionate by living with 00:36:38.280 --> 00:36:46.679 them. Some of you think God gave you kids for 00:36:46.679 --> 00:36:53.110 you. God gave you kids to change you. Boy, you 00:36:53.110 --> 00:36:56.949 want to learn patience? It's like, oh God, may 00:36:56.949 --> 00:36:58.889 we just get through the diaper stage, right? 00:36:59.469 --> 00:37:01.849 Or can we just get through preteens? I got a 00:37:01.849 --> 00:37:06.889 preteen that's like 35 right now. Right? And 00:37:06.889 --> 00:37:09.170 then it's like, oh my, I thought it was bad when 00:37:09.170 --> 00:37:11.030 they were two. This early adulthood, you know, 00:37:11.070 --> 00:37:14.630 18 to 22, 23, they want all the response, all 00:37:14.630 --> 00:37:16.449 the authority, but no responsibility. This is 00:37:16.449 --> 00:37:20.130 just like when they were two. You know, I want 00:37:20.130 --> 00:37:21.710 to do whatever I want. Well, who's paying for 00:37:21.710 --> 00:37:23.389 the car and you live in the back bedroom? And 00:37:23.389 --> 00:37:27.590 who paid for college? And I think I've said enough 00:37:27.590 --> 00:37:36.750 to make the point. The benefits. Spiritual intimacy 00:37:36.750 --> 00:37:39.110 opens the door to the deepest levels of communication. 00:37:40.530 --> 00:37:45.489 When you are loved and chosen by God, you can 00:37:45.489 --> 00:37:49.809 be vulnerable at a level. Because you know God 00:37:49.809 --> 00:37:53.250 accepts and loves you. Part of our problems with 00:37:53.250 --> 00:37:56.570 communication was we both had such warped views 00:37:56.570 --> 00:38:00.530 of God and warped views of one another. We couldn't 00:38:00.530 --> 00:38:05.690 be honest. Until I begin to grasp that God accepts 00:38:05.690 --> 00:38:08.909 and loves me and that I'm secure, then you can 00:38:08.909 --> 00:38:12.369 risk. See, what happens is that the spiritual 00:38:12.369 --> 00:38:15.510 intimacy, the stronger that gets, it opens the 00:38:15.510 --> 00:38:18.710 door for every other area. Spiritual intimacy 00:38:18.710 --> 00:38:21.110 empowers your marriage to survive. Every couple 00:38:21.110 --> 00:38:24.010 encounters circumstances that feel overwhelming. 00:38:24.489 --> 00:38:27.130 The power of God is bigger than any situation 00:38:27.130 --> 00:38:31.250 you'll ever face and can able you to stand firm 00:38:31.250 --> 00:38:35.510 in the storms. Oh, I just have told so many couples, 00:38:35.710 --> 00:38:38.670 don't give up too soon. Don't give up too soon. 00:38:40.210 --> 00:38:43.230 Spiritual intimacy connects you to a supportive 00:38:43.230 --> 00:38:47.039 body of believers. One of the things, if you 00:38:47.039 --> 00:38:50.360 don't know it yet, is that you can't make it 00:38:50.360 --> 00:38:52.320 and you can't have a great marriage by yourself. 00:38:52.619 --> 00:38:55.539 You need other couples and you need some people 00:38:55.539 --> 00:38:59.780 that you can do life with, that can share. When 00:38:59.780 --> 00:39:01.719 you're spiritually connected, when you're a part 00:39:01.719 --> 00:39:04.280 of a local body, God has a group of people that 00:39:04.280 --> 00:39:06.900 when you're down, they can be up. You know, you 00:39:06.900 --> 00:39:09.340 do life together and you watch their kids and, 00:39:09.380 --> 00:39:11.880 you know, we never had any money. You know, you 00:39:11.880 --> 00:39:13.659 watch our kids and we'll watch your kids and 00:39:13.659 --> 00:39:17.199 we can get that little window to get away. Spiritual 00:39:17.199 --> 00:39:22.079 intimacy is powerful. How do you develop personal 00:39:22.079 --> 00:39:24.340 spiritual intimacy? I've given you a little Bible 00:39:24.340 --> 00:39:27.400 study. It's from Colossians. And I'm not going 00:39:27.400 --> 00:39:30.300 to go through all the verses. But let me just 00:39:30.300 --> 00:39:34.059 show you from the passage, from the book, how 00:39:34.059 --> 00:39:38.280 the Apostle Paul encourages that church and those 00:39:38.280 --> 00:39:42.590 people. to develop spiritual intimacy. In verses 00:39:42.590 --> 00:39:46.909 one through nine, he just asked for it. It's 00:39:46.909 --> 00:39:51.789 an amazing prayer. God, I want them to know you. 00:39:51.889 --> 00:39:54.469 And the word is a relational know you and your 00:39:54.469 --> 00:39:57.090 will to know specifically in a deep, authentic 00:39:57.090 --> 00:40:00.170 way. And then he says, beware of counterfeits. 00:40:00.170 --> 00:40:03.190 He talks about three different errors that people 00:40:03.190 --> 00:40:06.510 have in seeking to draw near to God. And then 00:40:06.510 --> 00:40:09.369 he says, you know, guard your thought life. The 00:40:09.369 --> 00:40:13.210 battle for your life is between your ears. 95 00:40:13.210 --> 00:40:15.550 % of all spiritual warfare is in your thinking. 00:40:15.869 --> 00:40:18.369 You have to learn to take every thought captive 00:40:18.369 --> 00:40:21.610 in obedience to Christ. And then you have to 00:40:21.610 --> 00:40:24.949 kill the spiritual competitors. We'll look at 00:40:24.949 --> 00:40:26.769 this a little bit later, so it's just an overview. 00:40:27.309 --> 00:40:29.769 After he talks about this new life that you have, 00:40:29.909 --> 00:40:32.150 he says, consider the members of your earthly 00:40:32.150 --> 00:40:38.800 body to be dead to immorality and impurity. to 00:40:38.800 --> 00:40:41.539 evil desire, to lust, to greed, which amounts 00:40:41.539 --> 00:40:44.019 to idolatry. You know, there's just, there's 00:40:44.019 --> 00:40:45.880 certain things that you gotta cut off the supply 00:40:45.880 --> 00:40:49.480 lines of people and of things that create desires 00:40:49.480 --> 00:40:52.719 that pull you away from God and away from your 00:40:52.719 --> 00:40:56.619 mate. And then you saturate your mind with God's 00:40:56.619 --> 00:40:59.340 word. Three different times in the verse, verses 00:40:59.340 --> 00:41:02.219 12 through 17, did you notice? I circled them 00:41:02.219 --> 00:41:04.739 in my text. Three different times you're told 00:41:04.739 --> 00:41:07.119 to be thankful. It's one of the most powerful 00:41:07.119 --> 00:41:10.179 things in your relationship. It's hard to be 00:41:10.179 --> 00:41:13.980 tempted by someone else to do something else 00:41:13.980 --> 00:41:16.300 when you're grateful for who you have, you're 00:41:16.300 --> 00:41:19.420 grateful for what you do have. And being thankful 00:41:19.420 --> 00:41:22.219 isn't a feeling. You actually say it. God, thank 00:41:22.219 --> 00:41:25.119 you. She's loyal. God, thank you. He's a provider. 00:41:25.260 --> 00:41:28.760 God, thank you. Thank you for little things. 00:41:29.019 --> 00:41:31.199 Before I went to bed last night, out of the blue, 00:41:31.360 --> 00:41:34.000 my wife's an introvert, so I sort of take most 00:41:34.000 --> 00:41:36.119 of the initiative, and I wish she would take 00:41:36.119 --> 00:41:38.260 a little bit more initiative, even after 42 years. 00:41:38.619 --> 00:41:40.360 And out of the blue, she called me in the middle 00:41:40.360 --> 00:41:42.440 of the day, and just before I was about ready 00:41:42.440 --> 00:41:45.300 to go to bed, I got this long text, and she called 00:41:45.300 --> 00:41:46.840 me. I was just thinking of you and wanted to 00:41:46.840 --> 00:41:49.099 hear how you were doing. Now, for some of you, 00:41:49.119 --> 00:41:51.619 that wouldn't be a big deal. But for my wife, 00:41:51.840 --> 00:41:55.880 and I just went, when I got to bed, God, thank 00:41:55.880 --> 00:41:58.659 you. You know, we've been away from each other 00:41:58.659 --> 00:42:02.320 about 12, 13 days. I really miss her. I really 00:42:02.320 --> 00:42:07.360 love her. And I missed her. And just that the 00:42:07.360 --> 00:42:10.960 Lord would prompt her just to call. Well, you 00:42:10.960 --> 00:42:16.599 know what? When you thank God, it's hard to be 00:42:16.599 --> 00:42:20.639 resentful or bitter or unforgiving. Well, let 00:42:20.639 --> 00:42:22.519 me give you some practical ways to remove the 00:42:22.519 --> 00:42:25.639 barriers and build some bridges. And perspective 00:42:25.639 --> 00:42:29.260 first. I think this is a super big challenge, 00:42:29.320 --> 00:42:32.139 especially for men. When I talk about spiritual 00:42:32.139 --> 00:42:35.360 intimacy, and this is a general rule, it may 00:42:35.360 --> 00:42:37.860 not be true, but most women are like, oh, yes, 00:42:38.039 --> 00:42:43.400 yes, yes. I hope he's listening. If we could 00:42:43.400 --> 00:42:45.440 just pray together. If he would just hold hands 00:42:45.440 --> 00:42:47.239 with me. If he would just go to church with me. 00:42:47.360 --> 00:42:49.019 Oh, if we would just, maybe we could read the 00:42:49.019 --> 00:42:50.420 Bible, or maybe we could read a book together. 00:42:50.539 --> 00:42:53.820 Oh, it would be so great. And most guys are going, 00:42:53.980 --> 00:42:56.460 you know something? I know what I'm doing at 00:42:56.460 --> 00:43:01.099 work. When it comes to this spiritual stuff and 00:43:01.099 --> 00:43:04.360 leading a family and being spiritual, I'm not 00:43:04.360 --> 00:43:06.860 only not confident, I'm not competent. I really 00:43:06.860 --> 00:43:10.000 don't know what I'm doing. And I'm not sure I 00:43:10.000 --> 00:43:12.519 want to admit that it's very threatening. And 00:43:12.519 --> 00:43:14.880 I know you really want to do some stuff. And 00:43:14.880 --> 00:43:20.519 this is just out of my territory. I mean, I'm 00:43:20.519 --> 00:43:23.980 a pastor. And after I got married, and I knew 00:43:23.980 --> 00:43:26.659 the Bible quite well before I got married, I 00:43:26.659 --> 00:43:29.900 was intimidated by developing spiritual intimacy 00:43:29.900 --> 00:43:34.579 with my wife. And so, ladies, one thing I would 00:43:34.579 --> 00:43:38.059 say is, let him take some baby steps. And guys, 00:43:38.139 --> 00:43:41.340 what I want to say is, it really is not rocket 00:43:41.340 --> 00:43:44.719 science. And we're going to learn some steps 00:43:44.719 --> 00:43:48.420 that you can take. And by way of motivation, 00:43:49.960 --> 00:43:51.900 You'll have to think really hard about this. 00:43:53.239 --> 00:43:55.679 You know that triangle where there's the spiritual, 00:43:55.940 --> 00:43:58.599 emotional, the soul, and the physical, okay? 00:43:59.440 --> 00:44:02.280 Would you be shocked if there's a relationship 00:44:02.280 --> 00:44:06.159 between those? And by the way, there's a very 00:44:06.159 --> 00:44:08.519 significant relationship between the bottom one. 00:44:09.699 --> 00:44:12.239 Women in general, not always, I'm not trying 00:44:12.239 --> 00:44:15.340 to make, you know, but they're nurture and more 00:44:15.340 --> 00:44:18.559 relational. I mean, they love to talk. Just sit 00:44:18.559 --> 00:44:20.960 and can we just take a walk? And what do you 00:44:20.960 --> 00:44:27.300 want to do? Just be together. Okay. We're together. 00:44:27.380 --> 00:44:30.679 Now what do you want to do? I'm really enjoying 00:44:30.679 --> 00:44:38.900 this time with you, Chip. Great. Now what do 00:44:38.900 --> 00:44:44.519 you want to do? Right? And there's this amazing 00:44:44.519 --> 00:44:46.920 thing that when your hearts and spirits connect, 00:44:49.279 --> 00:44:51.380 Some of us men tend to be a little bit more on 00:44:51.380 --> 00:44:54.360 the activator side and we want to do things together 00:44:54.360 --> 00:45:00.500 or we experience God's love physically a lot. 00:45:01.300 --> 00:45:03.780 Not that sex is all there is, but there's few 00:45:03.780 --> 00:45:06.679 things that makes a man feel more affirmed, more 00:45:06.679 --> 00:45:09.280 valued than when his wife wants to make love 00:45:09.280 --> 00:45:12.619 with him. Guys, what you need to understand is 00:45:12.619 --> 00:45:15.199 that when a woman doesn't feel cherished, when 00:45:15.199 --> 00:45:18.340 she doesn't feel connected spiritually, And when 00:45:18.340 --> 00:45:20.260 she doesn't feel like there's this emotional 00:45:20.260 --> 00:45:27.199 bond, it's just sex. And she feels used. She 00:45:27.199 --> 00:45:32.500 wants to make love. But it grows out of the relationship. 00:45:33.860 --> 00:45:36.739 And so many couples are, he does that, and you 00:45:36.739 --> 00:45:40.840 do this, and then, you know, you fight about 00:45:40.840 --> 00:45:43.400 frequency, you fight about money, you fight about 00:45:43.400 --> 00:45:45.300 in -laws, you fight about schedules, and you 00:45:45.300 --> 00:45:48.630 fight about where the money goes. And all those 00:45:48.630 --> 00:45:50.210 things are, you know why? Because you're two 00:45:50.210 --> 00:45:53.409 separate people in the same house. And I'm just 00:45:53.409 --> 00:45:55.110 going to be blunt. It doesn't mean you're bad 00:45:55.110 --> 00:45:58.829 people, but you are selfish. Because everyone 00:45:58.829 --> 00:46:02.769 is. And some of you are more stylistically selfish, 00:46:02.849 --> 00:46:05.250 more sophisticated selfish, but down deep, you 00:46:05.250 --> 00:46:08.530 want your way. And when you get your way, you're 00:46:08.530 --> 00:46:10.389 a happy camper. And when you don't, you're not. 00:46:12.269 --> 00:46:16.500 And God wants to reverse that. And that means 00:46:16.500 --> 00:46:19.820 you getting close to him. And so here's some 00:46:19.820 --> 00:46:22.900 very practical ways to do that. And we'll wrap 00:46:22.900 --> 00:46:26.800 it up. One, there's no one right way to develop 00:46:26.800 --> 00:46:31.480 spiritual intimacy with your mate. Two, as a 00:46:31.480 --> 00:46:34.400 general rule, women find it a bit more easy. 00:46:36.019 --> 00:46:39.480 But there's steps I'll talk about in terms of 00:46:39.480 --> 00:46:41.599 how to kind of build that spiritual intimacy. 00:46:43.619 --> 00:46:46.260 There's no getting around praying together. I 00:46:46.260 --> 00:46:48.820 mean, literally, I've had guys start where we're 00:46:48.820 --> 00:46:50.599 going to pray silently together and hold hands 00:46:50.599 --> 00:46:53.719 and then start with a few words. I don't know. 00:46:53.739 --> 00:46:55.280 I didn't grow up as a Christian. It was two years 00:46:55.280 --> 00:46:57.480 before I prayed out loud. And it was like, what 00:46:57.480 --> 00:47:01.519 do you do? What do you say? Worshiping together. 00:47:02.500 --> 00:47:04.960 A lot of people are, oh, we'll watch it later. 00:47:05.059 --> 00:47:08.460 We can watch the service as a man. No, no, let's 00:47:08.460 --> 00:47:10.639 sit down. Let's watch the service. Let's talk 00:47:10.639 --> 00:47:13.099 about what it meant. Where did God speak to you? 00:47:14.599 --> 00:47:18.840 Share what you're learning. I would love to say 00:47:18.840 --> 00:47:21.179 I have a friend, very godly friend. He's 10 years 00:47:21.179 --> 00:47:23.579 older. Someday I want to be like him. He's a 00:47:23.579 --> 00:47:28.179 missionary in Zimbabwe and just godly, godly, 00:47:28.179 --> 00:47:30.400 godly man. And I happen to know he and his wife 00:47:30.400 --> 00:47:32.199 get up every morning. They read the Bible together. 00:47:32.460 --> 00:47:34.579 They read a proverb together and they pray together 00:47:34.579 --> 00:47:37.059 and read a portion of a book. Teresa and I tried 00:47:37.059 --> 00:47:38.559 that for about the first week and almost killed 00:47:38.559 --> 00:47:42.900 our marriage. We need separate time, and then 00:47:42.900 --> 00:47:45.820 we come together and talk about where God's speaking 00:47:45.820 --> 00:47:48.440 to us. You know, usually around the table. We 00:47:48.440 --> 00:47:51.139 usually sit at least 15, 20 minutes every day, 00:47:51.159 --> 00:47:53.960 just have a cup of coffee and just connect. What's 00:47:53.960 --> 00:47:56.159 going on? Either really, really early in the 00:47:56.159 --> 00:47:59.260 morning or at a meal or two. And, you know, it's 00:47:59.260 --> 00:48:02.820 weird. In our house, she's funny. She prays like 00:48:02.820 --> 00:48:05.579 crazy. But as we go to bed, like, I want us both 00:48:05.579 --> 00:48:08.230 to pray out loud. She doesn't want to pray out 00:48:08.230 --> 00:48:09.949 loud at night. It bugged me for about 20 years. 00:48:11.409 --> 00:48:14.130 I'm a pastor. We're supposed to pray together 00:48:14.130 --> 00:48:17.889 and out loud. Chip, you pray. I'm here. I'm really... 00:48:17.889 --> 00:48:20.849 I mean, she prays like crazy, and we pray together 00:48:20.849 --> 00:48:24.369 other times, but to me, it's like... Are you 00:48:24.369 --> 00:48:29.409 getting my point? There's not a right way. As 00:48:29.409 --> 00:48:33.630 a couple, how do you connect? Of course... You 00:48:33.630 --> 00:48:35.929 got to be in the scripture somehow. Individually, 00:48:35.949 --> 00:48:38.429 you got to share. You have to be upward. You 00:48:38.429 --> 00:48:41.670 got to pray. You've got to be a part of a worshiping 00:48:41.670 --> 00:48:46.289 community. What I've learned is take baby steps. 00:48:47.349 --> 00:48:51.050 Take baby steps. Most of life changes are just 00:48:51.050 --> 00:48:53.849 the first incremental domino. That's the key. 00:48:53.969 --> 00:48:58.409 And to do something small consistently and it'll 00:48:58.409 --> 00:49:04.840 grow. Pray for your mate. And let me encourage 00:49:04.840 --> 00:49:08.039 you, don't pressure your mate and don't judge 00:49:08.039 --> 00:49:11.920 your mate. Don't assume where they're at with 00:49:11.920 --> 00:49:15.539 the Lord. Obviously, there's some fruit or lack 00:49:15.539 --> 00:49:20.460 of it, but it's not very motivating. You know, 00:49:20.519 --> 00:49:23.519 like as one wife told me, you know, I set the 00:49:23.519 --> 00:49:26.019 Bible out and I put it right in the passage that 00:49:26.019 --> 00:49:28.420 I thought would help him the most. I couldn't 00:49:28.420 --> 00:49:30.119 figure out why he doesn't want to read the Bible. 00:49:30.360 --> 00:49:34.320 I said, honey, let me tell you why. He wants 00:49:34.320 --> 00:49:37.820 a wife, not a mother. And no one wants to be 00:49:37.820 --> 00:49:43.139 told what they ought to do. And, you know, I'm 00:49:43.139 --> 00:49:46.219 trying to be really kind to you guys. Part of 00:49:46.219 --> 00:49:50.739 it is, just shut up and step up. Do what feels 00:49:50.739 --> 00:49:54.559 very unnatural. Just look at your wife, grab 00:49:54.559 --> 00:49:58.159 her hand. If you have a watch, set it for five 00:49:58.159 --> 00:50:00.539 minutes. You'll never go longer. We're going 00:50:00.539 --> 00:50:03.739 to pray together. You start and I'll finish and 00:50:03.739 --> 00:50:08.000 hope she goes four. But I'm serious. At some 00:50:08.000 --> 00:50:10.599 point in time, right? It's like getting in shape. 00:50:11.159 --> 00:50:12.800 Someday, someway, I'm going to start. You know 00:50:12.800 --> 00:50:17.179 what? Someday, you just start. You grab her hand. 00:50:17.219 --> 00:50:21.980 You're the man. Grab her hand. I don't feel comfortable. 00:50:22.239 --> 00:50:24.940 This feels awkward. I don't know exactly what 00:50:24.940 --> 00:50:27.139 I'm doing. Just get that out on the open if that's 00:50:27.139 --> 00:50:31.909 where you're at. By the way, If you got some 00:50:31.909 --> 00:50:35.710 tension and stuff going, just why don't we hold 00:50:35.710 --> 00:50:37.849 hands for two or three minutes and pray silently. 00:50:38.670 --> 00:50:41.409 And just if anything comes to our mind that any 00:50:41.409 --> 00:50:43.409 resentment or bitterness, just privately, well, 00:50:43.489 --> 00:50:48.590 let's, why don't we spend a minute and ask God 00:50:48.590 --> 00:50:52.170 to help us forgive each other the way he's forgiven 00:50:52.170 --> 00:50:57.579 us. I'm just telling you, you take a step. toward 00:50:57.579 --> 00:51:03.900 God and he will run to meet you. This is Living 00:51:03.900 --> 00:51:06.440 on the Edge with Chip Ingram and we're in our 00:51:06.440 --> 00:51:09.519 series called Choosing Love. If you're ready 00:51:09.519 --> 00:51:12.079 to turn today's challenge into lasting change, 00:51:12.420 --> 00:51:15.119 Chip's newest book, I Choose Love, gives you 00:51:15.119 --> 00:51:18.050 the practical roadmap you need. It doesn't just 00:51:18.050 --> 00:51:21.030 tell you what to do. It shows you how to do it. 00:51:21.110 --> 00:51:23.769 You'll learn to recognize the subtle ways pride 00:51:23.769 --> 00:51:26.170 and selfishness sabotage your relationships. 00:51:26.510 --> 00:51:29.550 You'll discover practical exercises to develop 00:51:29.550 --> 00:51:32.179 genuine humility. And you'll see how choosing 00:51:32.179 --> 00:51:35.260 agape love, the sacrificial, others -focused 00:51:35.260 --> 00:51:38.260 love of God, transforms even your most difficult 00:51:38.260 --> 00:51:41.559 relationships. I Choose Love addresses the real 00:51:41.559 --> 00:51:44.280 issues we all face. The tendency to need the 00:51:44.280 --> 00:51:46.739 last word. The subtle belief that our perspective 00:51:46.739 --> 00:51:49.920 is the truth. The grandiosity that shows up in 00:51:49.920 --> 00:51:53.320 small ways like chronic lateness. Chip gets brutally 00:51:53.320 --> 00:51:55.780 honest about his own struggles, and he shows 00:51:55.780 --> 00:51:58.679 you the path forward. If you're tired of broken 00:51:58.679 --> 00:52:01.380 relationships and ready to experience love that 00:52:01.380 --> 00:52:04.579 actually works, get your copy of I Choose Love 00:52:04.579 --> 00:52:09.079 today. Visit livingontheedge .org. And friend, 00:52:09.199 --> 00:52:11.460 this Bible teaching program is reaching you and 00:52:11.460 --> 00:52:13.920 countless others because of the faithful giving 00:52:13.920 --> 00:52:16.659 of listeners just like you. When you give to 00:52:16.659 --> 00:52:19.079 Living on the Edge, you're multiplying this message 00:52:19.079 --> 00:52:22.579 of transformative love around the world. Would 00:52:22.579 --> 00:52:25.840 you join us? Visit livingontheedge .org to give 00:52:25.840 --> 00:52:31.699 or just call us at 888 -333 -6003. Well, that 00:52:31.699 --> 00:52:34.219 wraps up today's episode. Don't miss the next 00:52:34.219 --> 00:52:36.599 Bible teaching message coming up here on the 00:52:36.599 --> 00:52:43.159 Chip Ingram Sermon Podcast. Today's program is 00:52:43.159 --> 00:52:45.539 produced and sponsored by Living on the Edge.