This is the Chip Ingram Sermon Podcast, brought
to you by Living on the Edge. In this podcast,
you'll hear Chip's teaching unedited and from
beginning to end. Here's Chip Ingram with his
message, Love Obeys. I want to share a leadership
lesson that I learned many, many years ago that
really reshaped my life, and it's one that I
have to keep on learning. On the very front of
your notes, you'll notice I've written, our expectations
powerfully shape our relationships and our responses.
Circle the word expectations. Our expectations,
they're so subtle. We have them often we don't
even know what they are. I grew up in a home,
and no ladies feel guilty, but my mom was really
into breakfast. At about 6 .15 or 6 .30, I could
smell. bacon and eggs every single morning and
our whole family ate breakfast together. It was
really wonderful. Well, I got married and I don't
know why, but I just expected that we would have
breakfast every morning. And I, early in our
marriage, after our honeymoon, I came home and
said, breakfast. And she goes, well, the cereal's
up there. I think there's some milk in the refrigerator
and go to it. It was like, what? I mean, you
don't understand. And it was just like, Now,
we never talked about, now, when we get married,
you got to fix breakfast. Safe to say, we don't
do breakfast in our house quite like my mom.
By contrast, my wife had a father who was very
handy. He could fix just about anything. the
car, the gas, the motor. And so she actually
had this expectation that me being a man and
her father being a man, that the car would be
filled with gas. If it didn't work, I could fix
it. And so there's a carburetor in here somewhere.
You know, I knew nothing. And she was like, now
I could give you a hundred other expectations
that aren't trivial, that have caused really
painful issues. But here's what I want you to
get. Notice in your notes. Our personal history
is paramount in forming our expectations. She
thinks every husband can fix cars because her
dad did. I thought every woman cooks breakfast
because my mom did. Your personal history, it
just loads you up with a set of expectations.
Now, if we do that in our relationships with
people, imagine how we do that in our relationships
with God. Two critical questions emerge when
we think about God and expectations. The first
is, what can we expect of God? And the second,
what does God expect of us? I mean, what can
we expect of God? Some people come from backgrounds
that we can expect that God will make life happy
and wonderful, will be healthy, wealthy, wise,
if we just believe, that just love Jesus and
your life is gonna be great and trouble -free.
And so when trouble comes, they really wonder,
where's God? There's another group of people
that are really super sober and it's going to
be hard and it's all about suffering and like
God brings blessing into their life and it's
like they feel guilty when good things happen.
So the question I want to ask you is, what's
your expectations of God? What do you expect
of him? And are you ready to flip it over? Have
you ever thought seriously about what God expects
of you? And just like our personal history shapes
our expectations with one another, history itself
shapes our expectations, depending on our backgrounds,
of how we think God's going to respond. What
does he want? What does he give? How do we receive
it? How do you know when you're okay with God?
What's God's part in this relationship and what's
my part? And then notice on the bottom of your
notes, I want you to write this word in. Remember,
our history always shapes our expectations. And
historically, people have answered those two
questions very, very differently. With that,
open your notes if you would. And I'm going to
give you a very brief history lesson. That if
you are strong in either one of these camps,
you'll be frustrated. I'm purposely going to
sort of push or polarize to the extremes of two
historical positions. In the 16th century, John
Calvin was a great, great theologian. In Geneva,
he began to teach and there was a whole goal
of what would be like for a Christian city. And
he had a very strong view of God and about his
sovereignty and his power. But it was pushed
to extremes by some of his followers. And so
about 80 or 90 years later, a fellow named Jacob
Arminius came along and he said, boy, you know,
we've strayed beyond the Bible. And so he began
to teach some things. And so what you have is
two basic camps and I'm going to push the extreme.
So if you are a Calvinist, you'll say he's not
representing us well. I understand that. If you're
more Arminian, you're going to say he's not representing
us well either. Good. Both will be unhappy with
me. What I want to do is show you the extremes
because you have been impacted historically.
You have certain expectations about what God
is asking of you. If you come from a, let me
just call it a hyper -Calvinistic background,
you believe God is sovereign and in control.
You believe that he's predestined and predetermined
just about everything in life. You focus on verse
13 of Philippians 2, it is God who is at work.
In extreme Calvinism, God not only chooses people
for heaven, he chooses people for hell. So it's
called double predestination. And so you actually
had people in churches going, I believe I've
been chosen by God to honor his name to hell.
I mean, it was crazy. But it was this idea that
since we can have no part in our salvation, it
is all of God with no sense of our responsibility.
It was this extreme. that turned into fatalism.
You were eternally secure and a hyper, hyper
Calvinist would say in terms of our responsibility,
just let go and let God. In essence, whatever's
gonna happen is gonna happen. The joke when you
tease hyper Calvinists is when they trip, they
get up and say, I'm glad that's over. Think about
it, it'll come to you. Arminius, by contrast,
said, no, no, no, no. It's, yeah, God is sovereign,
but we're responsible. We have a free will. We
make choices. He emphasizes the verse 12, work
out your salvation. Our choices have consequences.
Therefore, as a result of it, if you came from
this side, eternity's not certain. You know,
you might be a good Christian for a while, but
if you mess up, you're out. Finally, The idea
is let's go and let's get with it. I jotted down
a couple thoughts. If you're a Presbyterian,
Anglican, mini Baptist, a lot of Bible churches
are reformed in your tradition, strong Calvinistic
roots. If you are Methodist, Wesleyan, Nazarene,
charismatic, four square assembly of God, church
of Christ, strong Arminian roots. Notice in your
notes, here's what I wanna get. God's word rejects
both extremes and holds God's sovereignty and
man's responsibility in biblical tension and
balance. In other words, if you read through
the scriptures, what you find is the Bible's
really clear. God is sovereign, God is in control.
The Bible's really clear. You are absolutely
responsible and will be held accountable for
your choices. And you say, well, how can that
be? The answer is, I don't know. But what I'm
gonna go on record and say is, no one else knows
either. But what happens is people tend to go
one direction or another. And so if you're reading
through the book of Acts, if you're a strong
Calvinist, it says, and as many as were appointed
to eternal life believed. And you say, see, they
were appointed, except if you read the next chapter,
it says, and Paul spoke so persuasively, a great
number believed. Which is true, both. Here's
the tension I want you to get. You can develop
systems that can remove one or the other, but
both are true. Imagine, if you will, a telephone
pole, and imagine guide wires into those cables,
pulling on each end, and there's deep stakes.
And this is the sovereignty of God, and this
is the responsibility of man. And if there's
slack or you remove one of those cords, you go
to extremes and push to its practical end. You
become passive, let go, let God, whatever it's
gonna be, it's gonna be. Or the other way, you
get guilt ridden and no matter how much you do,
God's not in control. If I forgot one time to
share my faith, that person may go to hell because
I didn't do my part. The whole world is on me.
What I want you to know is the apostle Paul,
interestingly, he's already, he did this in chapter
one, remember? He said, I'm confident he's gonna
be executed. I'm confident of this. This is what's
gonna turn out for my deliverance. Your prayers.
Oh, man's responsibility and the provision of
the spirit of God, God's sovereignty. He now
in verse 12 says, here's, so then my beloved,
just as you always circle the word obeyed. The
word obeyed in the New Testament, sometimes we
feel like, I think our English and our background,
obey is like ought, should, gotta. And it certainly
has that thrust, but the word is hupo, to be
under, akuo, to hear. Like you have an acoustic
guitar, that's where we get our word. To obey
is... To be under the hearing of God. Lord, what
would you have me to do? It's a relationship
I want to follow. And when you speak about any
area, I want to listen in order not to just know,
but to obey. So he says to them, my beloved,
just as you always obeyed, not just in my presence,
but now much more in my absence, work out your
salvation. Would you circle that phrase with
fear and trembling? Work out is a mining term.
It's literally like if you owned a gold mine,
it's work your claim. Continue mining the riches
of what God has done. When the spirit of God
came into your life, when you turned from your
sin and received Christ, all the spiritual blessings
in heaven were deposited in you. You were sealed
with the spirit. You have an inheritance. He's
saying, okay, now what I want you to do is I
want you to work out what God has worked in.
Notice it doesn't say work for your salvation.
You can't earn it. Work out. In other words,
I want you to cooperate. And just like if you
owned a gold mine, that gold does nothing under
the ground. And he says, you cooperate with God,
work out your salvation. And notice with a sense
of reverential awe, this is a precious, amazing
gift, your salvation. Don't let it sit there.
Don't be passive. Sometimes when people talk
about grace, they think of grace. is the opposite
of effort. The Bible says we make every effort
to walk with God. The Bible talks about the grace
of God teaches us to say no to all ungodliness
and live sober, disciplined lives. It takes great
effort. The opposite of grace is not effort.
The opposite of grace is merit. Merit is earning
something. And Paul is saying to these people
that are having some disunity issues, people
that are being persecuted, he says, you know,
I don't know if I'm gonna live or not, but whether
I get to see you and live or I die, I want you
to keep on obeying. I want you to love one another.
I want you to choose to look up when circumstances
are bad. I want you to care for one another.
I want you to be generous. In persecution, I
want you to be faithful. So work out. Your salvation,
God's worked in. That's your responsibility.
Notice verse 13. The little word for, it means
the reason. Why should you work this out? For
God who is at work in you, both to will and to
work for his good pleasure. Would you circle
the word to work and then underline will and
good pleasure? Word for work is a very interesting
word. I did a word study on it. We get our word
energy. It's never used in the New Testament
to describe human power. 100 % of the time, it
is the power of God. It's a word that means effective
action. It describes action that always achieves
its desired end results or purpose. In ancient
Greece, it was a demonstration of inner character
that always led to an outward virtue. And in
summary, he's saying for God who is at work,
he is energizing by his power working in you
in spirit, both to will, his purpose to create
both the desire and the power. So God's sovereign,
I'm responsible. God has gifted me sheerly by
his grace, this new life in his spirit. It is
a riches that I now live out and I mine my claim.
And so to work out grace has been given and I
could say, all the truth of life is in this book
and I could hand you this book and you could
take this book and you could set it on your desk
and you could never open it. And you could say,
I just don't know what to do. I don't have any
truth. I don't know what to do about marriage.
I don't know what to do about parenting. I don't
know what to do about my money. I wonder what's
gonna happen to the end of the world. And all
the while, all the riches and all the truth is
on your desk. God will not read this for you.
Okay? But you have it. And it's the same. In
other words, work out. So the disciplines of
being in God's word, the discipline of praying,
the discipline of being in community and doing
life and being honest and supportive and accountability,
the disciplines of suffering, the disciplines
of some things take time, and the disciplines
of serving one another, when you, are you ready?
When you practice those things, it's like, imagine
tubes coming from this great lake of heaven.
You're accessing the grace of God. And as you
practice those things, the apostle Paul says,
Christ is being formed in you. It's a metaphor
of a baby growing to a toddler, to a teenager,
to a mature adult. And he says, our part is to
utilize the truth, the word. Prayer, the Lord's
Supper, relationships, to access the grace to
mine this new life that's been a free gift. Does
that make sense? History lesson is over. But
I do want you to know that it seeps in everywhere
because what happens is, is that I came up around
a group, you came up around a group, and these
groups have thoughts about the sovereignty of
God. and the responsibility of men. And I will
just say, you know, some of you struggle with
guilt because no matter how much you do, it's
never enough. Because you live with this, you
know, there's never enough, God's down on you.
Now that's extreme. That's not what should be
taught. Some of you are like laid back to the
point of, you're not doing what you need to.
And, but you have this subtle of, God's in control.
He really is in control, but that doesn't excuse
you. And so what you wanna do is you wanna say,
I don't want what Calvin taught and I don't want
what Jacob Arminius taught. I want what Jesus
taught. I want what the New Testament says. I
want what the word of God says. And there's going
to be certain times and certain passages. I've
been doing this for quite a while. I don't fully
understand. I don't think anyone fully understands,
but I've got plenty of truth to know this. I
will stand before God as a follower of Jesus
and give an account for my time, my energy, my
money, and my decisions. And I've been around
long enough to know this. is that despite my
mistakes, my difficulties, the times even that
I've sinned, the times when I knew what was right
and I didn't even do it, there's this patient,
kind, loving, sovereign God that's working even
those difficulties and things that people have
done to me and circumstance I can't understand
because he's such a, are you ready? Good, good
father. And so becoming like Jesus and following
him is a cooperative effort. your effort and
discipline to mine, not earn, but to mine out
the grace that God's given you. Well, the question
then becomes is, how do you work out what God
worked in? I mean, it's nice to hear that. I
kind of gave you the theory and the history.
Well, it practically, how do you do it? Well,
Paul, this is a really amazing thing. After chapter
two, verse 12, and after verse 13, guess what
comes? Verse 14. And 15 and 16 and 17. So guess
what Paul's gonna do? He says, I want you to
obey to be the kind of follower of Jesus fully
by his grace, even if I come or I don't come.
But the goal is I want you to be under the hearing.
So I'm gonna give you very specific things to
obey so that you have unity and that God uses
you in this perverse generation. So are you ready?
Get your pen out, keep your Bible open. Here's
command number one. He says, do everything without
complaining or arguing. So the command is, be
a grateful servant. Be a grateful servant. If,
not to be overly technical, but if you had the
Greek text in your hand, you would read it and
you would go, oh, what is the word order? It's
completely out of order. They took the word.
and do everything and it belongs in the back
of the sentence and they put it all the way in
the front of the sentence for what? Emphasis.
Drive your car. Pay your bills. Live with your
mate. Respond to the government and pay your
taxes. How? Do everything without complaining.
Or arguing. Word for complaining here is basically
grumbling. It's that infectious negative attitude.
It's really about be a grateful servant in your
speech and your attitude. Don't whine. Don't
complain. Don't talk about your boss or your
supervisor behind their back. Don't be negative.
Don't be critical. Don't be sarcastic. Don't
put people down. This is getting pretty convicting,
just me saying this to myself. But not only don't
complain, but don't argue. It's a legal term.
It has to do with dissensions and disputing and
taking sides. Can you imagine what would happen,
just hypothetically, if every genuine follower
of Jesus obeyed this with regard to their social
media? No complaining. No arguing, no dissensions,
no name calling, no attacking other people. See,
this was happening in the Philippian church.
And is this happening in anybody else's home?
Is this happening at work? Anybody else's small
group? This is happening everywhere, isn't it?
See, what he's going to say is, you want to work
out your salvation? You want to go into training
and practice? Begin with your speech because
Jesus said, the good man out of the good treasure
of his heart brings forth what is good. The evil
man of the evil treasure brings forth what is
evil for the mouth speaks by that which fills
the heart. The two most vivid ways to know where
you're at in your journey with the Lord Jesus
is ask, what does my money say about my values?
And what does my speech say about my heart? And
those two things are just pretty black and white.
If it's negative, if it's complaining, if it's
putting people down, see, if you change your
speech, your heart has to change. Our kids, we've
had some that were less negative and some more
negative. I had one that was extraordinarily
negative. She came out of the womb. Oh, I said
she, I guess we know who it is. I mean, she was.
I mean, it just, I mean, the glass never got
half full. And so we got a jar. and we wrote
missions on it and Annie's speech and all my
kids memorized Ephesians 4, 29. Let no unwholesome
word proceed out of your mouth, but only such
a word as is good for edification according to
the need of the moment that it might give grace
to those who hear. And so we started out with
every time a negative comment came out, she put
a dime in the jar. Then we went to quarters.
Then we went to 50 cents a piece. She was a very
generous to missions at the church. But here's
the thing. She went into training. She went into
training and we talked about it. And then she
began to memorize some verses. Now, you know
what? Part of that was a leadership gift that
she has that when she looked at life, she saw
what was wrong. And then when she thought it,
it came out of her mouth at the same time. She
did not get that from her mother. So we went
into training together to get a hold of our speech.
You might evaluate things and see something that,
oh, that should be over here instead of like
that, or that's not the right attitude, or we
need to fix that at work. That might be a real
giftedness you have. But when it comes out of
your mouth in the wrong context and not in the
right way with the right tone of voice, it's
disunifying. Second, he says, this is for a purpose.
The purpose of being grateful is so that you
can be a godly servant. God wants us to be godly.
Godly publicly, godly privately, and godly personally.
Circle the word blameless, circle the word pure,
and circle the word without fault. The word blameless
is relationship to the outside world. It means
the people at work, your neighbors, people at
the coffee shop, the dry cleaners, the team one
of your kids plays on. He says, be blameless.
Be the kind of Christian that they're not going,
oh my gosh, that person says they're a Christian,
but listen to their language, listen to the put
downs, you know, look at their morality. He says,
no, no, no, no. You gotta be blameless, not perfect,
blameless. When God shows you that your life
is ungodly, And it would reflect negatively on
Jesus and his church. You say, I can't live that
way. Second, it's privately. It says blameless
and pure. The word pure here means like undiluted
wine, or it was used of metal that didn't have
a mixture of both like iron and something else
in it. It's pure. This is about your motives.
This is about when no one is around, who are
you really? And then finally he says, not only
blameless and pure, but he goes on to say without
fault. And again here, it doesn't mean in terms
of perfect, but without fault is relationship
to those in the church and especially your relationship
to God. The word was used for like an animal
without blemish in your offering and your sacrifice.
And so in essence, what he's really saying is,
I want you to obey. I want you to be the kind
of Christians in a really tough world that you're
positive, thankful people, not positive thinking.
You're genuinely thankful and your speech and
your actions reflect it. Second, I want you to
be godly. I want you to be godly toward the outside
world. I want you to be godly and have personal
integrity within. And I want you to be godly
in terms of your relationship with God. I love
the next line where he says, so that you can,
Do something in a very crooked and perverse generation.
I mean, we all here, we want to see the world
change, right? We all believe the world is, I
mean, it's crazy right now. And people ask me
all the time, well, what can I do? This is what
we can do. Be grateful people. Be godly people.
And notice the result is to be a bold servant
in action and words. He says, when you're godly
in the midst of a crooked and perverse, literally,
it's a twisted generation. And I think it's even
more twisted now than it was then. But in which
you shine like stars in the universe as you hold
out or literally hold forth the word of God.
And so he says to them, this is the kind of Christian
I want you to be. And when you do that, you're
demonstrating something. You're making a difference.
It's like there's this. black backdrop and you're
shining in this corrupt world like shining stars
and people take notice. I have a very good friend
who decided to leave a very powerful, lucrative
job. Had a great position, extremely well -paid.
And there came a time where the company and those
in power were asking him to make some decisions
that lacked integrity. And he had worked with
all the other people in the company and sort
of set a standard that no matter what, we won't
compromise. And people knew he was a follower
of Christ and integrity really mattered and came
to the point where he crossroads. And out of
integrity, let that go. And he told me a little
bit about the last day with all the employees.
And these are high -tech, grown men and women
in a fast -paced world, overwhelmed with emotion.
Like a bright, shining star in the midst of a
cutthroat, make -money, fudge the facts? How
do we make it look faster and better that we
can go public or whatever the goals are? And
someone steps and says, there's something that
matters more than money. I'm a follower of Christ.
It's the truth that sets you free. And I'm going
to stand on my convictions regardless of the
consequences. And there was an entire company
that saw a star shining brightly. Notice you
shine like stars and you're bold. You hold forth
God's word. You're not ashamed to be a Christian
in your neighborhood. You're not ashamed of the
Bible at work. Do I understand you're going to
get some flack? Of course. Did the early disciples
get some flack? Did Jesus get some flack? Did
the reformers get some flack? At some point in
time, we have to realize it's coming. So let's
respond in a loving way. Let's shine like stars.
Let's be the church that, oh, my lands, they
remodeled another school. Oh, my lands, they're
taking in the refugees. We just had a team come
back from India. They did all that dental work
and medical work. Oh, my lands. Who says, oh,
my lands, anyway? That must be from my mother
or my childhood. You want to know how to work
out what God worked in? Be a grateful servant.
Be a godly servant. Be a bold servant. And finally,
his whole motive was, I'm not down on you Philippians.
This isn't a list to do all the stuff of some
religion. Be a joyful Christian. Here's my motive.
My motive is that I can, I'm gonna stand before
God and I don't know if I'm executed or not executed,
but I'm gonna stand before God. And what he's
picturing here is that that's a picture of getting
executed. He's taking this Old Testament picture
of when you would offer a sacrifice and then
they would take maybe wine and pour it on the
altar as it's going up. It's a drink offering.
He says, if my blood, if my life, if I'm a drink
offering, Here's the deal. I'm going to be glad
and I'm going to rejoice in dying. So you too
be glad and rejoice with me. Is that amazing?
As you look at the back page, the first couple
of questions are ones you can just do by yourself,
but grab a cup of tea, coffee, Coke, Diet Coke,
and put your feet up somewhere in the next 24
or 48 hours and say, hmm, you know, what expectations
do I have in terms of What I think God's going
to do for me. And are they accurate? And down
deep, what do I think God expects of me? For
some of you, you need a big dose of grace. Here's
what he expects that you receive is love. And
for others, he expects you get off your dairy
air and quit expecting that Bible to read itself
and to discipline yourself to godliness so he
can let you experience what you already possess.
Where do you see growth and progress in the working
out of what God has worked in? You know, some
of you, you just go so negative. Oh, I ought
to be more of this. I ought to do more of this.
I ought to more doing this. How about writing
down, you know, I've become more patient. I've
become more generous. You know what? I'm a better
dad than I used to be. I clean up in my, you
know, with my roommates. Write down where God,
and it'll encourage you. And then where do you
need to focus effort and energy to allow Jesus'
life, To be manifested in you and through you.
And, you know, these words, right? They come
right out of the text. You know, and just don't
check them all. You'll go nuts. If you already
haven't. But just ask yourself, you know, Lord,
whisper this prayer. Lord, Holy Spirit, would
you show me which one or at the most two, is
it my attitude, speech, boldness, authenticity,
godliness? And check one of those and then just
say, Lord, I can't do this. I can't do this.
But you can. So I'm telling you, I'm inadequate
and your power will be my adequacy. So would
you help me? Would you help me do that? This
is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, and we're
in our series called Choosing Love. If you're
ready to turn today's challenge into lasting
change, Chip's newest book, I Choose Love, gives
you the practical roadmap you need. It doesn't
just tell you what to do. It shows you how to
do it. You'll learn to recognize the subtle ways
pride and selfishness sabotage your relationships.
You'll discover practical exercises to develop
genuine humility. And you'll see how choosing
agape love, the sacrificial, others -focused
love of God, transforms even your most difficult
relationships. I Choose Love addresses the real
issues we all face. The tendency to need the
last word. The subtle belief that our perspective
is the truth. The grandiosity that shows up in
small ways like chronic lateness. Chip gets brutally
honest about his own struggles, and he shows
you the path forward. If you're tired of broken
relationships and ready to experience love that
actually works, get your copy of I Choose Love
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