WEBVTT 00:00:11.439 --> 00:00:14.179 Today on Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. 00:00:14.259 --> 00:00:18.120 Would you like to become a more loving person? 00:00:18.440 --> 00:00:22.379 I don't mean just trying harder to act more loving, 00:00:22.420 --> 00:00:26.660 but actually become from the inside out a person 00:00:26.660 --> 00:00:30.660 that just flat out loves people better and more 00:00:30.660 --> 00:00:34.140 deeply. Well, if so, stick around. That's today. 00:00:35.859 --> 00:00:38.759 What's standing between you and genuine love? 00:00:39.310 --> 00:00:41.729 Well, according to Chip Ingram, it's selfishness, 00:00:41.729 --> 00:00:44.890 that I -want -my -way mentality we're all born 00:00:44.890 --> 00:00:47.490 with. I'm Dave Drewy, and today on Living on 00:00:47.490 --> 00:00:50.109 the Edge, Chip continues our series, Choosing 00:00:50.109 --> 00:00:53.229 Love, by exposing the root problem behind broken 00:00:53.229 --> 00:00:56.289 relationships, pride. But here's the good news. 00:00:56.469 --> 00:00:59.070 Research now confirms what Scripture has taught 00:00:59.070 --> 00:01:02.609 for thousands of years. Genuine humility fosters 00:01:02.609 --> 00:01:05.609 better health, stronger relationships, and even 00:01:05.609 --> 00:01:08.900 improved self -esteem. Today, Chip gives us three 00:01:08.900 --> 00:01:11.900 radical steps to declare war on selfishness and 00:01:11.900 --> 00:01:15.019 attack the root of pride. Well, now here's Chip 00:01:15.019 --> 00:01:18.379 Ingram with his lesson, Love Gives. In our study 00:01:18.379 --> 00:01:20.900 in Philippians chapter two, follow along I'm 00:01:20.900 --> 00:01:24.000 reading in the Phillips translation. He says, 00:01:24.019 --> 00:01:26.959 now, if you experience of Christ, if there's 00:01:26.959 --> 00:01:29.140 any encouragement and love means anything to 00:01:29.140 --> 00:01:31.659 you, if you've known something of the fellowship 00:01:31.659 --> 00:01:34.780 of his spirit and all that it means in kindness 00:01:34.780 --> 00:01:37.310 and deep sympathy. And then here's the command. 00:01:37.849 --> 00:01:41.469 Make my best hope for you or my joy come true. 00:01:41.989 --> 00:01:47.209 Live together in harmony. Live together in love 00:01:47.209 --> 00:01:51.909 as though you had only one mind and one spirit 00:01:51.909 --> 00:01:56.329 before you. So just before you open those notes, 00:01:56.450 --> 00:02:02.090 I want you to think about how to become a more 00:02:02.090 --> 00:02:08.229 loving person. Choose. to declare war on, write 00:02:08.229 --> 00:02:13.349 the word, selfishness. And as usual, when I go 00:02:13.349 --> 00:02:17.449 high tech here, my iPad is not working, so I 00:02:17.449 --> 00:02:20.150 think I'll go with a little bit less technical 00:02:20.150 --> 00:02:23.689 one that you all have. Turn to Philippians chapter 00:02:23.689 --> 00:02:26.629 two, if you're not already there, and let me 00:02:26.629 --> 00:02:31.409 read for you this command. Philippians chapter 00:02:31.409 --> 00:02:36.719 two, we've looked at verses, 1 and 2. Follow 00:02:36.719 --> 00:02:39.180 along here in chapter 2 as we read verse 3 and 00:02:39.180 --> 00:02:44.479 4. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, 00:02:44.479 --> 00:02:48.620 but in humility of mind consider others more 00:02:48.620 --> 00:02:51.860 important than yourself. Verse 4, let each of 00:02:51.860 --> 00:02:55.219 you look not only on your own interest, but also 00:02:55.219 --> 00:03:00.800 on the interest of others. You may be looking 00:03:00.800 --> 00:03:04.800 at this and saying, declare war. Aren't you getting 00:03:04.800 --> 00:03:08.620 a little radical here? No, no. We're born with 00:03:08.620 --> 00:03:12.199 this innate ability to be selfish. In fact, let 00:03:12.199 --> 00:03:15.300 me define selfish ambition here. Four words. 00:03:15.479 --> 00:03:20.020 I want my way. That's selfish ambition. I want 00:03:20.020 --> 00:03:24.199 my way. It's a me first mentality. I want to 00:03:24.199 --> 00:03:28.379 be number one. I'm selfish. Now, it's very unpopular 00:03:28.379 --> 00:03:32.419 to admit that. But what is hard to see in ourselves, 00:03:32.500 --> 00:03:35.479 isn't it easy to see in others? I mean, you get 00:03:35.479 --> 00:03:37.340 out on the freeway, are people selfish or what? 00:03:38.099 --> 00:03:41.620 I mean, this isn't like out there somewhere either. 00:03:42.280 --> 00:03:44.659 Anybody here tried to get out of the parking 00:03:44.659 --> 00:03:46.919 lot here? You know, especially 11 o 'clock service? 00:03:48.240 --> 00:03:50.360 Now, there are some people, you know, very Christian, 00:03:50.479 --> 00:03:53.960 wave you in. And there's some of you that are 00:03:53.960 --> 00:03:55.520 still working on it. Let me put it that way. 00:03:56.620 --> 00:04:00.240 But we're selfish. But you don't slide out of 00:04:00.240 --> 00:04:02.840 being selfish. Even though the living spirit 00:04:02.840 --> 00:04:05.379 of Christ lives inside of you and you're born 00:04:05.379 --> 00:04:07.020 again and you're part of the kingdom of God, 00:04:07.139 --> 00:04:09.680 there's this battle. The Galatians talks about 00:04:09.680 --> 00:04:13.139 the spirit wages war against the flesh. This 00:04:13.139 --> 00:04:18.699 predisposition toward my way, my stuff is rooted 00:04:18.699 --> 00:04:20.399 in your heart and you'll have it until the day 00:04:20.399 --> 00:04:24.639 you die. But the spirit of God can give you the 00:04:24.639 --> 00:04:28.389 ability. To in humility, look at the second half 00:04:28.389 --> 00:04:32.790 of that text. In humility, consider others as 00:04:32.790 --> 00:04:34.930 more important than yourself. Humility can be 00:04:34.930 --> 00:04:40.310 a very misunderstood word. So I came across a 00:04:40.310 --> 00:04:44.089 very, very interesting article. I think of humility 00:04:44.089 --> 00:04:46.350 as not thinking too highly of yourself, not thinking 00:04:46.350 --> 00:04:49.470 too lowly of yourself, but having an accurate, 00:04:49.569 --> 00:04:55.420 sober self -assessment. As one person said, humility 00:04:55.420 --> 00:05:02.319 is not thinking less of yourself. Humility is 00:05:02.319 --> 00:05:06.620 just thinking less about yourself. They're doing 00:05:06.620 --> 00:05:09.680 science now on the benefits of virtues, things 00:05:09.680 --> 00:05:12.959 like forgiveness. They've done lots of research 00:05:12.959 --> 00:05:15.360 on gratitude. You may have read some of that. 00:05:15.860 --> 00:05:19.019 This is an article by a professor at George Fox 00:05:19.019 --> 00:05:22.180 University. It's called The Science of Humility. 00:05:22.339 --> 00:05:24.579 It says, researchers have developed scales to 00:05:24.579 --> 00:05:26.720 measure intellectual humility, relational humility, 00:05:27.040 --> 00:05:29.759 cultural humility, and some are now working on 00:05:29.759 --> 00:05:33.120 spiritual humility as well. As with forgiveness 00:05:33.120 --> 00:05:36.060 and gratitude, humility fosters, this is what 00:05:36.060 --> 00:05:38.399 humility delivers. Are you ready for this? Humility 00:05:38.399 --> 00:05:40.759 fosters physical and mental and relational health. 00:05:41.230 --> 00:05:43.730 Humble people are more grateful and forgiving, 00:05:43.850 --> 00:05:45.810 so they enjoy the benefits of those virtues. 00:05:46.350 --> 00:05:48.810 They're also, humble people are more generous 00:05:48.810 --> 00:05:51.910 and helpful to others. Hey, this is a good one. 00:05:52.350 --> 00:05:55.410 They have better romantic relationships. For 00:05:55.410 --> 00:05:57.949 some of you, get humble right away, okay? They 00:05:57.949 --> 00:06:00.310 have better romantic relationships, have less 00:06:00.310 --> 00:06:02.709 anxiety about death, and experience less spiritual 00:06:02.709 --> 00:06:06.589 struggle. Those parents who are concerned about 00:06:06.589 --> 00:06:09.870 your kids, People that are humble perform better 00:06:09.870 --> 00:06:12.370 at school, show more compassion to others, and 00:06:12.370 --> 00:06:15.629 even have better self -esteem than less humble 00:06:15.629 --> 00:06:18.490 people. So in other words, they're doing scientific 00:06:18.490 --> 00:06:21.930 research. And what God has commanded, what delights 00:06:21.930 --> 00:06:25.029 our Father, and what Christ modeled amazingly, 00:06:25.410 --> 00:06:31.430 is the genuine humility. Not putting yourself 00:06:31.430 --> 00:06:34.129 first, but actually considering the needs of 00:06:34.129 --> 00:06:37.170 others. It's what we call around here, and you'll 00:06:37.170 --> 00:06:39.949 learn more about in this series, it's the I am 00:06:39.949 --> 00:06:42.930 second mentality. I mean, it just goes completely 00:06:42.930 --> 00:06:46.810 against everything. I am second as I go through 00:06:46.810 --> 00:06:49.389 the line. I am second as I drive on the freeway. 00:06:49.449 --> 00:06:51.769 I am second when I think about my rights in my 00:06:51.769 --> 00:06:53.930 marriage. I am second when I think about the 00:06:53.930 --> 00:06:57.050 needs with my roommate. I am second when we're 00:06:57.050 --> 00:07:01.089 trying to divide something and see who gets the 00:07:01.089 --> 00:07:05.779 bigger piece. The article goes on. and says that 00:07:05.779 --> 00:07:08.439 humility, this is very important, does not require 00:07:08.439 --> 00:07:11.939 self -loathing or self -belittling, but it calls 00:07:11.939 --> 00:07:14.639 for us to dial back our normal tendency, are 00:07:14.639 --> 00:07:17.759 you ready for this, to overestimate our abilities 00:07:17.759 --> 00:07:21.560 and behaviors. Now, I never do that, and you 00:07:21.560 --> 00:07:23.300 never do that, but there's some people out there 00:07:23.300 --> 00:07:26.259 that overestimate their abilities and their behaviors, 00:07:26.379 --> 00:07:29.879 and you know I'm teasing. I love it. He goes, 00:07:29.920 --> 00:07:32.060 there's three characteristics of people that 00:07:32.060 --> 00:07:35.480 are genuinely humble. Number one, They have a 00:07:35.480 --> 00:07:39.120 reasonably accurate view of themselves, neither 00:07:39.120 --> 00:07:41.720 too high or neither too low, pretty biblical. 00:07:41.939 --> 00:07:49.660 Number two is they care more deeply or have a 00:07:49.660 --> 00:07:53.600 concern and notice other people. And then number 00:07:53.600 --> 00:08:00.379 three is humble people are teachable. So genuine 00:08:00.379 --> 00:08:03.060 humility is rooted in some characteristics, and 00:08:03.060 --> 00:08:05.839 according to the scientific study, which actually 00:08:05.839 --> 00:08:08.500 is pretty biblical, whether they know it or not, 00:08:08.660 --> 00:08:12.040 is that they have a pretty accurate view of themselves. 00:08:12.180 --> 00:08:14.019 In other words, I'm not the center of the world. 00:08:14.540 --> 00:08:17.560 Are you ready? I'm not the smartest person. in 00:08:17.560 --> 00:08:20.379 the room. My opinions aren't always the best. 00:08:20.540 --> 00:08:23.660 My perspective of what we ought to do or my decision 00:08:23.660 --> 00:08:25.660 isn't necessarily better than others, but it 00:08:25.660 --> 00:08:27.259 doesn't mean that I don't have good thoughts 00:08:27.259 --> 00:08:30.500 and my decisions and my perspective can be very 00:08:30.500 --> 00:08:32.600 valid. So they don't think too high. They don't 00:08:32.600 --> 00:08:35.460 think too low. The second one is they really 00:08:35.460 --> 00:08:38.250 consider The thoughts, the interests, and the 00:08:38.250 --> 00:08:40.889 feelings of others. Humble people are sensitive. 00:08:41.129 --> 00:08:43.750 Humble people notice the person that when everyone 00:08:43.750 --> 00:08:45.850 gets out and walks out of here, humble people 00:08:45.850 --> 00:08:48.649 see the people that no one said hi to. Humble 00:08:48.649 --> 00:08:51.639 people notice the needs of other people. Genuinely 00:08:51.639 --> 00:08:53.899 humble people, I'm always amazed that, you know, 00:08:53.919 --> 00:08:56.159 maybe I'll have a passing conversation with someone 00:08:56.159 --> 00:08:58.419 and like a week later, two weeks later, like 00:08:58.419 --> 00:09:02.320 get a note or get something in the mail. I was 00:09:02.320 --> 00:09:04.500 meeting with someone a long time ago and they 00:09:04.500 --> 00:09:07.559 watched me fiddle with trying to recharge. You 00:09:07.559 --> 00:09:09.700 know, you got all these rechargers and all this 00:09:09.700 --> 00:09:12.179 different stuff. Out of the blue, a week later, 00:09:12.299 --> 00:09:15.659 I get a package. There's no name. There's no 00:09:15.659 --> 00:09:17.850 note. There's no anything. I don't know what 00:09:17.850 --> 00:09:20.049 it is. I open the package and it's one of these 00:09:20.049 --> 00:09:23.929 bars that has one, two, three, four, five, where 00:09:23.929 --> 00:09:25.929 you can hook in your phone, everything else with 00:09:25.929 --> 00:09:28.129 the plug and you plug the thing in. I use it 00:09:28.129 --> 00:09:32.509 every day. Humility. Someone didn't say a word, 00:09:32.629 --> 00:09:35.350 saw I had a need and addressed the need. And 00:09:35.350 --> 00:09:37.509 third, and I think this is big, they're teachable. 00:09:39.230 --> 00:09:41.429 They realize that they're on the journey too. 00:09:42.269 --> 00:09:46.519 At the heart of not being humble is not, Thinking 00:09:46.519 --> 00:09:48.860 lowly of yourself, belittling yourself, condemning 00:09:48.860 --> 00:09:53.460 yourself. In fact, the second way to become more 00:09:53.460 --> 00:09:58.399 loving is attack the root of the problem. And 00:09:58.399 --> 00:10:02.259 then I want you to write in the word pride. Attack 00:10:02.259 --> 00:10:06.500 the root of the problem. If you will, right underneath 00:10:06.500 --> 00:10:08.460 where you see verse three, circle the world, 00:10:08.519 --> 00:10:12.700 empty conceit. Do nothing from selfish ambition 00:10:12.700 --> 00:10:18.940 or... Empty conceit. Selfish ambition, selfishness 00:10:18.940 --> 00:10:21.960 is what we do. The root of the problem is why 00:10:21.960 --> 00:10:25.159 we do it. That's empty conceit. Or I love, write 00:10:25.159 --> 00:10:27.759 this word down. I love this phrase. It's an old, 00:10:27.799 --> 00:10:31.419 old, old version of King James. Vain glory, empty 00:10:31.419 --> 00:10:35.419 glory. You say, well, what's vain glory? What's 00:10:35.419 --> 00:10:40.799 empty conceit? Well, a good street name is pride, 00:10:40.919 --> 00:10:45.019 but that's sort of... It's kind of a big word. 00:10:45.059 --> 00:10:48.799 Let me give you some very specific pictures of 00:10:48.799 --> 00:10:54.340 empty conceit. Empty conceit is I'm better. I'm 00:10:54.340 --> 00:10:58.600 more important. I'm superior. I'm more intelligent. 00:10:59.139 --> 00:11:04.779 My time matters more than yours. My life matters 00:11:04.779 --> 00:11:08.539 more than you. I have greater value. I have greater 00:11:08.539 --> 00:11:10.820 worth. Now, you may not say that outside in your 00:11:10.820 --> 00:11:14.980 head, but our behavior. Our behavior just screams 00:11:14.980 --> 00:11:19.600 vain glory. I like the way I said that, glory, 00:11:19.980 --> 00:11:24.700 right? It's this, I'm the center of the world 00:11:24.700 --> 00:11:26.980 and I can clothe it with all kind of Bible verses. 00:11:28.600 --> 00:11:33.700 And I can actually, in a Christian way, do image 00:11:33.700 --> 00:11:37.539 management to try and project I'm humble. Which 00:11:37.539 --> 00:11:40.490 is that the empty conceit. The idea is I want 00:11:40.490 --> 00:11:43.970 everyone to have this amazing opinion of me that 00:11:43.970 --> 00:11:47.549 I either want for myself or actually think I 00:11:47.549 --> 00:11:51.269 have. You're listening to Living on the Edge 00:11:51.269 --> 00:11:53.850 with Chip Ingram. We'll hear more from Chip in 00:11:53.850 --> 00:11:56.350 just a moment. If today's message is speaking 00:11:56.350 --> 00:11:58.929 to your heart, don't keep it to yourself. Share 00:11:58.929 --> 00:12:00.870 this teaching with someone who needs to hear 00:12:00.870 --> 00:12:05.110 it by visiting livingontheedge .org. While you're 00:12:05.110 --> 00:12:07.070 there, be sure to check out all of the other 00:12:07.070 --> 00:12:09.210 faith -building resources we have available, 00:12:09.450 --> 00:12:12.570 including teaching videos, blogs, and devotionals 00:12:12.570 --> 00:12:16.190 from Chip. It's all waiting for you at livingontheedge 00:12:16.190 --> 00:12:20.909 .org. Let's continue with Chip's message. I made 00:12:20.909 --> 00:12:24.330 a list because this got very convicting and I 00:12:24.330 --> 00:12:29.149 thought, oh boy. I made a list of some ways that 00:12:29.149 --> 00:12:32.470 when this happens in me, okay, this isn't you, 00:12:32.549 --> 00:12:35.580 this is me. When these things happen in me, what 00:12:35.580 --> 00:12:40.080 I know is vain glory, empty conceit, pride is 00:12:40.080 --> 00:12:43.100 raising its ugly head. And then I'm gonna talk 00:12:43.100 --> 00:12:45.879 to you about how to go into training. And did 00:12:45.879 --> 00:12:49.379 you notice the violent words I've used? Declare 00:12:49.379 --> 00:12:52.330 war, attack. In other words, you've got to get 00:12:52.330 --> 00:12:54.090 to the root of the problem. This isn't about, 00:12:54.129 --> 00:12:56.850 I think I'm going to try and be more loving and 00:12:56.850 --> 00:13:00.809 I'll tell someone I forgive. This is heart stuff, 00:13:01.049 --> 00:13:03.870 root stuff. This is stuff that's so deeply in 00:13:03.870 --> 00:13:07.149 your psyche and in your soul and mind that you 00:13:07.149 --> 00:13:10.190 have to declare war. I refuse in light of what 00:13:10.190 --> 00:13:12.570 God's done for me to be a selfish person. I'm 00:13:12.570 --> 00:13:15.210 going to attack the root problem. And the root 00:13:15.210 --> 00:13:18.330 problem is in my thinking. I become the center 00:13:18.330 --> 00:13:20.669 of things even subtly because in my thinking, 00:13:20.730 --> 00:13:22.649 I think I'm better or I want to project that 00:13:22.649 --> 00:13:25.190 I'm better. In my thinking, my time and my money 00:13:25.190 --> 00:13:29.590 and what I do is more important. It's lethal. 00:13:30.490 --> 00:13:35.289 It destroys relationships. It's unloving. And 00:13:35.289 --> 00:13:38.850 so when these things happen in my life, what 00:13:38.850 --> 00:13:43.970 I know is pride. Defensiveness. Someone makes 00:13:43.970 --> 00:13:46.600 a comment to me immediately. It could be my wife. 00:13:46.639 --> 00:13:48.559 It can be in a meeting. It can be one of my kids. 00:13:49.039 --> 00:13:51.120 It can be someone I don't know very much. They 00:13:51.120 --> 00:13:52.580 say something. We're talking about something. 00:13:52.740 --> 00:13:55.740 And I hear myself. I'm defensive. Well, why? 00:13:56.320 --> 00:13:57.899 Because I've got to guard. I've got to prove. 00:13:57.980 --> 00:14:01.720 I've got to protect. Whatever they've said, that 00:14:01.720 --> 00:14:04.379 sort of hit a button inside. Second, making excuses. 00:14:06.700 --> 00:14:10.279 It's my pride. I didn't do it wrong. I didn't 00:14:10.279 --> 00:14:12.559 mess up. It was them. It was late. It was the 00:14:12.559 --> 00:14:14.179 traffic. If they would have done this on time, 00:14:14.240 --> 00:14:17.279 I would have had it on time. It's, you name it. 00:14:18.940 --> 00:14:21.299 In fact, related to that one is when I hear myself 00:14:21.299 --> 00:14:24.559 blaming other people, I know that's pride. In 00:14:24.559 --> 00:14:27.279 other words, don't look at me and think it's 00:14:27.279 --> 00:14:30.779 my fault. See, humility, you know what humility 00:14:30.779 --> 00:14:34.799 does? And it actually gains. It actually gains. 00:14:35.659 --> 00:14:38.299 the credibility of people. When you actually 00:14:38.299 --> 00:14:40.299 make a mistake, when you're actually late, when 00:14:40.299 --> 00:14:42.059 you really blow it, when you don't come through, 00:14:42.200 --> 00:14:45.480 it's amazing what happens when you say, you know, 00:14:45.500 --> 00:14:49.559 hey, I hope you all will, I just apologize. That 00:14:49.559 --> 00:14:52.120 was a deadline. I didn't hit it. I could give 00:14:52.120 --> 00:14:53.919 you a number of reasons. None of them really 00:14:53.919 --> 00:14:56.620 measure up other than I didn't use my time wisely. 00:14:56.960 --> 00:14:59.500 I went down some bad paths in terms of how to 00:14:59.500 --> 00:15:01.860 solve this problem. I'd like to ask you guys 00:15:01.860 --> 00:15:05.429 to forgive me. You know what normally happens? 00:15:05.570 --> 00:15:07.370 Everyone in the room knows they do that too. 00:15:08.509 --> 00:15:13.990 But so often we blame, we make excuses. In my 00:15:13.990 --> 00:15:16.190 marriage for many years, I remember my wife saying 00:15:16.190 --> 00:15:18.789 this. She said it in the presence of a counselor, 00:15:18.909 --> 00:15:21.830 so it was very unpleasant. Chip, you always have 00:15:21.830 --> 00:15:25.090 to have the last word. Does that ring a bell? 00:15:25.470 --> 00:15:29.090 You always have to have the last word. And I 00:15:29.090 --> 00:15:32.429 had to go into training to realize why. Because 00:15:32.429 --> 00:15:35.509 down deep, I've got to be right. I've got to 00:15:35.509 --> 00:15:38.909 declare. And it was all about these insecurities 00:15:38.909 --> 00:15:42.149 and this pride. I remember evaluating things, 00:15:42.269 --> 00:15:44.629 and especially some of you that are... or if 00:15:44.629 --> 00:15:46.990 you have some leadership or strategic views of 00:15:46.990 --> 00:15:49.970 things, and the challenge is if you're really 00:15:49.970 --> 00:15:53.789 pretty good at it. I remember a number of years 00:15:53.789 --> 00:15:55.929 ago, it was probably a decade ago, I would hope 00:15:55.929 --> 00:15:57.470 it'd be a little bit more, but honestly, probably 00:15:57.470 --> 00:16:00.350 about a decade ago, when I realized, when I evaluated 00:16:00.350 --> 00:16:02.789 things, I had this subtle view that when I looked 00:16:02.789 --> 00:16:04.590 at all the pieces and I aligned all the pieces, 00:16:04.750 --> 00:16:09.409 that my view was the truth. My view, in other 00:16:09.409 --> 00:16:11.009 words, I've looked at this, I've looked at this, 00:16:11.029 --> 00:16:12.429 I've prayed about it, I've got it all together. 00:16:12.960 --> 00:16:17.600 My view of this situation is the truth. And boy, 00:16:17.659 --> 00:16:20.679 did I find out either I didn't read the pieces 00:16:20.679 --> 00:16:23.159 right or I didn't have all the pieces. And I 00:16:23.159 --> 00:16:25.740 had a couple of experiences where I was so wrong. 00:16:26.600 --> 00:16:29.879 And now when I have a conversation where I have 00:16:29.879 --> 00:16:32.100 to confront someone and it's really difficult 00:16:32.100 --> 00:16:36.039 and it's really tender, I try to always preface 00:16:36.039 --> 00:16:38.539 it with something like this. Now, I want you 00:16:38.539 --> 00:16:41.100 to know that I need to. I need to say a couple 00:16:41.100 --> 00:16:43.600 things that will be hard to hear, but here's 00:16:43.600 --> 00:16:46.940 what you need to hear first. This is my perspective, 00:16:46.960 --> 00:16:49.379 not to be confused with the truth. I don't know 00:16:49.379 --> 00:16:51.899 the reality, but what I want you to know and 00:16:51.899 --> 00:16:54.799 what I'm responsible, this is my perspective. 00:16:54.820 --> 00:16:58.080 I'd like you to take this perspective, and would 00:16:58.080 --> 00:17:00.240 you weigh this before God to see what truth is 00:17:00.240 --> 00:17:03.220 in it? Do you see the difference? My list is 00:17:03.220 --> 00:17:09.529 actually longer. Well, here's one. I was perpetually 00:17:09.529 --> 00:17:13.970 late for almost everything for years. You know 00:17:13.970 --> 00:17:16.809 the guy that's dashing onto the plane in the 00:17:16.809 --> 00:17:19.049 old years before there was all that security 00:17:19.049 --> 00:17:21.930 or the person who's rushing in and running out 00:17:21.930 --> 00:17:23.849 of the parking lot and coming in two minutes 00:17:23.849 --> 00:17:26.009 late or five minutes late. I was late, late, 00:17:26.130 --> 00:17:30.250 late, late, late. And I tried hard and it really 00:17:30.250 --> 00:17:33.200 bugged my wife. And then I had a breakthrough. 00:17:33.359 --> 00:17:35.740 My problem was not being late. My problem wasn't 00:17:35.740 --> 00:17:38.000 self -will. My problem wasn't discipline. My 00:17:38.000 --> 00:17:41.259 problem was grandiosity. And when I saw that 00:17:41.259 --> 00:17:46.460 it was so ugly, I changed. Some of you are saying, 00:17:46.539 --> 00:17:49.920 so what exactly is grandiosity? Grandiosity is 00:17:49.920 --> 00:17:52.180 thinking whatever you're doing is so important. 00:17:53.539 --> 00:17:58.480 And if I can say this kindly, we come here on 00:17:58.480 --> 00:18:02.170 a weekend. to adore and give our very best to 00:18:02.170 --> 00:18:05.089 the creator of the universe and the savior that 00:18:05.089 --> 00:18:07.529 died upon a cross to pay for our sin and rose 00:18:07.529 --> 00:18:09.329 from the dead and has given us eternal life. 00:18:10.670 --> 00:18:16.130 The grandiosity to come in five, 10, 15, 20 minutes 00:18:16.130 --> 00:18:21.470 late. The grandiosity of during a song or during 00:18:21.470 --> 00:18:23.509 this time when I'm teaching the very word of 00:18:23.509 --> 00:18:25.910 God, you checking your email and having your 00:18:25.910 --> 00:18:30.920 phone open is arrogance. It's just arrogance. 00:18:32.660 --> 00:18:35.880 And, you know, please, you know, I always hear 00:18:35.880 --> 00:18:37.660 pastors say, I don't want you to feel guilty. 00:18:37.759 --> 00:18:40.359 Actually, I want you to feel guilty. If you're 00:18:40.359 --> 00:18:43.039 guilty, guilt's a really good thing. If there's 00:18:43.039 --> 00:18:45.779 genuine sorrow, you repent and you realize, oh, 00:18:45.940 --> 00:18:48.019 I never thought of it that way. I'm not saying 00:18:48.019 --> 00:18:49.940 you thought of it intentionally. I'm just telling 00:18:49.940 --> 00:18:52.900 you what it is. If this was a U2 concert, this 00:18:52.900 --> 00:18:55.160 place would be packed two hours and people would 00:18:55.160 --> 00:18:57.359 rush to get in. When you buy tickets to a movie, 00:18:57.480 --> 00:19:01.680 you don't go a half hour late. See, we have a 00:19:01.680 --> 00:19:04.519 consumer mindset. There is a grandiosity and 00:19:04.519 --> 00:19:08.579 an arrogance. And it needs to be changed. And 00:19:08.579 --> 00:19:12.960 so notice point number three is choose to practice 00:19:12.960 --> 00:19:17.000 humility daily by putting others' needs and interests 00:19:17.000 --> 00:19:19.599 ahead of your own. Don't consider just your own 00:19:19.599 --> 00:19:23.859 interests, although the passage is clear, take 00:19:23.859 --> 00:19:26.380 them into account, but consider the interests 00:19:26.380 --> 00:19:29.910 of others as more important than your own. Where 00:19:29.910 --> 00:19:31.289 are we going to go to eat? Where would you like 00:19:31.289 --> 00:19:35.490 to go to eat? Maybe this person has to get to 00:19:35.490 --> 00:19:37.890 work. It's as important or more important than 00:19:37.890 --> 00:19:42.730 you. What would happen? What would happen if 00:19:42.730 --> 00:19:46.009 we declared war on selfishness? If we said, I'm 00:19:46.009 --> 00:19:48.450 going to attack the root of this problem, which 00:19:48.450 --> 00:19:51.049 is really my own pride, this empty conceit, this 00:19:51.049 --> 00:19:53.269 vainglory, and then this week I'm going to go 00:19:53.269 --> 00:19:56.250 into training. And I'm going to choose very specifically 00:19:56.250 --> 00:19:58.390 in little, little things that will grow into 00:19:58.390 --> 00:20:01.470 bigger and bigger things. I'm going to choose 00:20:01.470 --> 00:20:03.670 in my money to be generous. I'm going to choose 00:20:03.670 --> 00:20:07.710 in my time to be generous. And we'll talk about 00:20:07.710 --> 00:20:11.109 exactly how very specifically to put that in 00:20:11.109 --> 00:20:15.390 practice. Ask yourself, where does my money go? 00:20:16.670 --> 00:20:20.250 Loving toward God and others or me? Where does 00:20:20.250 --> 00:20:24.720 my time go? Toward God and others or me? Where 00:20:24.720 --> 00:20:30.599 does my energy go? Father, I pray now as there 00:20:30.599 --> 00:20:34.200 are many, many, many relationships that are fractured 00:20:34.200 --> 00:20:37.519 and it will require only one person to admit 00:20:37.519 --> 00:20:39.799 at the heart of it regardless of the other person 00:20:39.799 --> 00:20:42.980 that pride and selfishness and arrogance is at 00:20:42.980 --> 00:20:46.380 the core and a repentance before you and then 00:20:46.380 --> 00:20:50.680 the next steps of asking forgiveness and restitution 00:20:51.720 --> 00:20:54.380 and even reconciliation in some cases where it's 00:20:54.380 --> 00:20:58.299 possible. So, Lord, would you bring to mind in 00:20:58.299 --> 00:21:02.559 this room the people that need to get a call, 00:21:02.720 --> 00:21:07.099 a lunch, a coffee, a text, a letter, a note of 00:21:07.099 --> 00:21:09.880 apology so that we could love others the way 00:21:09.880 --> 00:21:15.420 you've loved us. This is Living on the Edge with 00:21:15.420 --> 00:21:18.359 Chip Ingram, and we're in our series called Choosing 00:21:18.359 --> 00:21:21.930 Love. Today, Chip challenged us with three radical 00:21:21.930 --> 00:21:25.069 steps. Declare war on selfishness, attack the 00:21:25.069 --> 00:21:28.150 root of pride, and practice humility daily by 00:21:28.150 --> 00:21:30.990 putting others first. Chip will be back with 00:21:30.990 --> 00:21:33.970 some final thoughts in just a moment. If you're 00:21:33.970 --> 00:21:36.210 ready to turn today's challenge into lasting 00:21:36.210 --> 00:21:39.609 change, Chip's newest book, I Choose Love, gives 00:21:39.609 --> 00:21:42.579 you the practical roadmap you need. It doesn't 00:21:42.579 --> 00:21:45.359 just tell you what to do. It shows you how to 00:21:45.359 --> 00:21:48.099 do it. You'll learn to recognize the subtle ways 00:21:48.099 --> 00:21:50.859 pride and selfishness sabotage your relationships. 00:21:51.180 --> 00:21:54.240 You'll discover practical exercises to develop 00:21:54.240 --> 00:21:56.880 genuine humility. And you'll see how choosing 00:21:56.880 --> 00:21:59.940 agape love, the sacrificial, others -focused 00:21:59.940 --> 00:22:02.980 love of God, transforms even your most difficult 00:22:02.980 --> 00:22:06.259 relationships. I Choose Love addresses the real 00:22:06.259 --> 00:22:08.960 issues we all face. The tendency to need the 00:22:08.960 --> 00:22:11.440 last word, the subtle belief that our perspective 00:22:11.440 --> 00:22:14.599 is the truth, the grandiosity that shows up in 00:22:14.599 --> 00:22:17.980 small ways like chronic lateness. Chip gets brutally 00:22:17.980 --> 00:22:20.440 honest about his own struggles, and he shows 00:22:20.440 --> 00:22:23.380 you the path forward. If you're tired of broken 00:22:23.380 --> 00:22:26.079 relationships and ready to experience love that 00:22:26.079 --> 00:22:29.259 actually works, get your copy of I Choose Love 00:22:29.259 --> 00:22:33.759 today. Visit livingontheedge .org. And friend, 00:22:33.859 --> 00:22:36.140 this Bible teaching program is reaching you and 00:22:36.140 --> 00:22:38.599 countless others because of the faithful giving 00:22:38.599 --> 00:22:41.359 of listeners just like you. When you give to 00:22:41.359 --> 00:22:43.759 Living on the Edge, you're multiplying this message 00:22:43.759 --> 00:22:47.220 of transformative love around the world. Would 00:22:47.220 --> 00:22:50.539 you join us? Visit livingontheedge .org to give, 00:22:50.700 --> 00:22:56.539 or just call us at 888 -333 -6003. Well, now 00:22:56.539 --> 00:22:59.240 here's Chip with a final thought. Before we do 00:22:59.240 --> 00:23:02.200 anything else in this broadcast, I want to pause. 00:23:02.990 --> 00:23:06.569 I just prayed, and now I want to talk to you 00:23:06.569 --> 00:23:10.529 very honestly and sincerely about your life. 00:23:11.009 --> 00:23:13.170 You know, the fact of the matter is, is that 00:23:13.170 --> 00:23:17.750 you need to ask and I need to ask, so where does 00:23:17.750 --> 00:23:22.269 your money go? And what actions really indicate 00:23:22.269 --> 00:23:24.710 that you love God and you love other people? 00:23:24.970 --> 00:23:27.769 I mean, where does your time go? And this is 00:23:27.769 --> 00:23:31.160 not about me in any way seeking to poke around 00:23:31.160 --> 00:23:34.400 or make you feel guilty. This is about you and 00:23:34.400 --> 00:23:38.180 me as brother and sisters in Christ coming before 00:23:38.180 --> 00:23:42.140 the throne of God and saying, love isn't just 00:23:42.140 --> 00:23:47.119 a feeling. Love chooses to serve. It chooses 00:23:47.119 --> 00:23:50.779 to give. It chooses to get out of our comfort 00:23:50.779 --> 00:23:53.740 zone. It's the platinum rule. Love says, this 00:23:53.740 --> 00:23:57.799 is what God has done in us. And something inside 00:23:57.799 --> 00:24:00.839 of us, the Spirit of the living God, compels 00:24:00.839 --> 00:24:04.200 us to release our time and our money and our 00:24:04.200 --> 00:24:07.859 energy to meet the needs of other people. And 00:24:07.859 --> 00:24:09.599 so I'd like you, you know, if you're driving, 00:24:09.740 --> 00:24:12.279 don't do this. But if you're not driving, would 00:24:12.279 --> 00:24:14.759 you just open your palms upward and say, Lord, 00:24:14.900 --> 00:24:18.240 it's your money, it's your time, it's your gifts, 00:24:18.259 --> 00:24:21.259 it's your talents. Would you bring to my mind 00:24:21.259 --> 00:24:25.400 just today? Who could I extend money and time 00:24:25.400 --> 00:24:28.680 and energy and love to? And Lord, would you help 00:24:28.680 --> 00:24:31.619 me see first and foremost under the roof where 00:24:31.619 --> 00:24:34.299 I live, my roommate or my husband, my wife, my 00:24:34.299 --> 00:24:37.119 kids, would you help me to be an other -centered 00:24:37.119 --> 00:24:40.779 follower of Jesus? And then watch how the Spirit 00:24:40.779 --> 00:24:43.859 of God will work in you and through you. Ready 00:24:43.859 --> 00:24:46.960 to see humility in action? I'm Dave Drewy. Join 00:24:46.960 --> 00:24:49.380 us tomorrow as Chip Ingram unpacks what it means 00:24:49.380 --> 00:24:55.559 to truly serve on Living on the Edge. Today's 00:24:55.559 --> 00:24:58.140 program is produced and sponsored by Living on 00:24:58.140 --> 00:24:58.680 the Edge.