WEBVTT 00:00:00.880 --> 00:00:04.559 This is the Chip Ingram Sermon Podcast, brought 00:00:04.559 --> 00:00:07.719 to you by Living on the Edge. In this podcast, 00:00:07.980 --> 00:00:10.539 you'll hear Chip's teaching unedited and from 00:00:10.539 --> 00:00:13.880 beginning to end. Well, here's Chip Ingram with 00:00:13.880 --> 00:00:17.940 a message titled, Love Gives. One of God's greatest 00:00:17.940 --> 00:00:22.120 joys is to see His children love each other. 00:00:23.140 --> 00:00:26.480 Isn't that amazing? The God of heaven, the God 00:00:26.480 --> 00:00:28.980 that created the stars, the God who made us, 00:00:29.039 --> 00:00:31.780 the God who sent God the son to die in our place. 00:00:31.940 --> 00:00:35.679 One of his greatest, greatest joys is when we 00:00:35.679 --> 00:00:38.960 love one another. And you know, I know as a parent, 00:00:39.079 --> 00:00:41.500 I mean, isn't that true for those of you that 00:00:41.500 --> 00:00:45.460 are parents? I had twin boys and Teresa and I 00:00:45.460 --> 00:00:48.299 have sons that are twins and Eric and Jason, 00:00:48.380 --> 00:00:50.649 and they're five minutes apart. I mean, for the 00:00:50.649 --> 00:00:52.950 first 18 years of their life. I mean, at times 00:00:52.950 --> 00:00:54.909 they dressed the same. They had, you know, the 00:00:54.909 --> 00:00:57.350 same classes, the same room, the same everything. 00:00:57.689 --> 00:01:02.950 Did they fight? I mean, fought. I mean, to the 00:01:02.950 --> 00:01:07.590 point of, I mean, physical. And I'll never forget 00:01:07.590 --> 00:01:10.469 the time we came home from a little getaway a 00:01:10.469 --> 00:01:12.530 couple days. And, well, how'd everything go? 00:01:12.629 --> 00:01:14.469 Oh, things were great. Things were great. And, 00:01:14.530 --> 00:01:16.709 you know, they were kind of. standing kind of 00:01:16.709 --> 00:01:19.109 funny against a wall or something. And I didn't 00:01:19.109 --> 00:01:20.870 even notice it. And we had a great time. And 00:01:20.870 --> 00:01:24.530 years later, you know, when families get together 00:01:24.530 --> 00:01:26.670 and adult kids tell you what really happened, 00:01:26.829 --> 00:01:29.349 oh dad, we couldn't believe you and mom didn't 00:01:29.349 --> 00:01:31.390 even notice that Eric and Jason got in a fight 00:01:31.390 --> 00:01:33.829 and Eric went to punch him and he ducked and 00:01:33.829 --> 00:01:36.829 he put his fist through the wall and we patched 00:01:36.829 --> 00:01:38.670 it and painted it. We were so afraid you would 00:01:38.670 --> 00:01:42.409 find out. I remember Teresa saying once, cause 00:01:42.409 --> 00:01:46.010 she grew up with two sisters. She said, do you 00:01:46.010 --> 00:01:49.969 think they'll ever, ever love each other? I said, 00:01:50.010 --> 00:01:52.870 honey, this is kind of normal stuff, yes. I mean, 00:01:52.870 --> 00:01:56.349 we have to set boundaries and discipline. But 00:01:56.349 --> 00:02:00.790 I just want you to get that God's heart, it breaks 00:02:00.790 --> 00:02:03.569 his heart when we fight. It breaks his heart 00:02:03.569 --> 00:02:06.590 when we have feelings inside that are resentful 00:02:06.590 --> 00:02:09.629 and bitter. And when you have an unresolved relationship 00:02:09.629 --> 00:02:12.629 with another believer, another brother, another 00:02:12.629 --> 00:02:15.900 sister, maybe you did business with him. Maybe 00:02:15.900 --> 00:02:18.360 you were in a small group with him. Maybe it 00:02:18.360 --> 00:02:21.620 was in another church. I don't know. But I'm 00:02:21.620 --> 00:02:25.560 going to ask you, get your heart open. God wants 00:02:25.560 --> 00:02:29.300 to deal with because it matters to God, not just 00:02:29.300 --> 00:02:31.900 because it brings him joy, but it's so important. 00:02:31.960 --> 00:02:34.939 It's such a priority to him. If we could eavesdrop 00:02:34.939 --> 00:02:38.580 the very last night when Jesus was praying in 00:02:38.580 --> 00:02:41.939 John 17. I mean, you read that prayer, Father, 00:02:42.180 --> 00:02:47.680 Father. Make them one, even as we are one. You 00:02:47.680 --> 00:02:53.080 in me and I in you and us in them. Father, I 00:02:53.080 --> 00:02:56.360 pray that as I leave, that you would cause there 00:02:56.360 --> 00:02:59.400 to be a supernatural unity in order that the 00:02:59.400 --> 00:03:03.460 world would know. That's a prayer that only you 00:03:03.460 --> 00:03:06.620 can answer in your home. Only I can answer in 00:03:06.620 --> 00:03:10.099 my relationships. And not only does God the Father 00:03:10.099 --> 00:03:12.860 find joy when we love one another, and God the 00:03:12.860 --> 00:03:16.340 Son prays passionately and commands us to love 00:03:16.340 --> 00:03:19.479 one another and says the gospel, its validity 00:03:19.479 --> 00:03:22.300 is based on whether the world sees us love each 00:03:22.300 --> 00:03:25.500 other, the Apostle Paul commands it. In our study 00:03:25.500 --> 00:03:28.039 in Philippians chapter two, follow along I'm 00:03:28.039 --> 00:03:31.139 reading in the Phillips translation. He says, 00:03:31.159 --> 00:03:34.199 now if you experience of Christ, if there's any 00:03:34.199 --> 00:03:36.599 encouragement and love means anything to you, 00:03:37.050 --> 00:03:39.069 If you've known something of the fellowship of 00:03:39.069 --> 00:03:41.930 his spirit and all that it means in kindness 00:03:41.930 --> 00:03:44.449 and deep sympathy, and then here's the command, 00:03:44.750 --> 00:03:48.610 make my best hope for you or my joy come true. 00:03:49.150 --> 00:03:54.349 Live together in harmony. Live together in love 00:03:54.349 --> 00:03:59.050 as though you had only one mind and one spirit 00:03:59.050 --> 00:04:03.509 before you. So just before you open those notes, 00:04:03.669 --> 00:04:09.169 I want you to think about, Is there any relationship 00:04:09.169 --> 00:04:13.870 that you don't have harmony that's out of sorts? 00:04:14.830 --> 00:04:17.410 And I'm pushing a little bit because we tend 00:04:17.410 --> 00:04:19.930 to push these down. Could have been two months 00:04:19.930 --> 00:04:22.889 ago, two years ago, could be 20 years ago, could 00:04:22.889 --> 00:04:25.769 be, you know, an in -law situation or a brother 00:04:25.769 --> 00:04:29.899 or sister you haven't seen in 20 years. God wants 00:04:29.899 --> 00:04:32.800 to get a hold of our hearts and our life. And 00:04:32.800 --> 00:04:35.019 Philippians chapter two is gonna teach us how 00:04:35.019 --> 00:04:38.300 we can choose love and experience it. Now, as 00:04:38.300 --> 00:04:40.439 you open your notes, I want you to see the structure 00:04:40.439 --> 00:04:42.600 of this passage. First of all, there's a very 00:04:42.600 --> 00:04:46.560 clear context. There's conflict without, and 00:04:46.560 --> 00:04:49.439 there's conflict within. The conflict without, 00:04:49.560 --> 00:04:51.759 you know, there was persecution. There was difficulty. 00:04:51.839 --> 00:04:54.160 There was pressure. These Philippian Christians, 00:04:54.439 --> 00:04:57.420 just like Paul, I mean, they were getting intimidated. 00:04:57.420 --> 00:04:59.259 They were getting persecuted. They were having 00:04:59.259 --> 00:05:02.060 struggles and conflicts from the pagan world 00:05:02.060 --> 00:05:05.759 and even from some Jewish false teachers. I mean, 00:05:05.779 --> 00:05:07.699 not a lot different than what we see happening 00:05:07.699 --> 00:05:11.439 more and more and more today is that, you know, 00:05:11.459 --> 00:05:13.899 people are intimidating Christians. People are 00:05:13.899 --> 00:05:17.240 becoming more afraid as believers. to stand up 00:05:17.240 --> 00:05:19.120 and stand strong because of external pressure. 00:05:19.699 --> 00:05:22.319 But in this particular church, there's conflict 00:05:22.319 --> 00:05:25.439 within. We'll learn more about it in chapter 00:05:25.439 --> 00:05:28.240 four when we meet a couple ladies that apparently 00:05:28.240 --> 00:05:31.220 had a real conflict that was causing a rift throughout 00:05:31.220 --> 00:05:33.819 the whole church. And you and I have both seen 00:05:33.819 --> 00:05:36.019 that happen in a small group or in a family or 00:05:36.019 --> 00:05:38.680 in Sunday school class. And so then there's a 00:05:38.680 --> 00:05:41.860 very, very interesting command. I gave the words, 00:05:41.879 --> 00:05:46.009 live in authentic. Christ -empowered unity. Now, 00:05:46.050 --> 00:05:48.029 the way he says it is, make my joy complete. 00:05:48.790 --> 00:05:51.329 I mean, he said, you've brought me great joy. 00:05:51.389 --> 00:05:53.750 You came to Christ. Remember, I was in that Philippian 00:05:53.750 --> 00:05:57.290 jail and we had fellowship and you all came to 00:05:57.290 --> 00:05:59.129 know the Lord and there's this tremendous movement 00:05:59.129 --> 00:06:01.750 happening in this church. He said, so I've received 00:06:01.750 --> 00:06:05.389 joy now. Make my joy complete because since Paul 00:06:05.389 --> 00:06:08.250 is now in Rome, some things have happened, like 00:06:08.250 --> 00:06:10.430 happened in lots of churches and lots of families 00:06:10.430 --> 00:06:13.980 and lots of small groups, you know? This person 00:06:13.980 --> 00:06:15.620 thinks it ought to be this way. And this person 00:06:15.620 --> 00:06:17.560 says, no. And well, you said this to my daughter. 00:06:17.620 --> 00:06:19.860 Well, this is how you treated my son. Well, you 00:06:19.860 --> 00:06:21.560 know, every time you come, you know, you think 00:06:21.560 --> 00:06:23.220 you're the hottest stuff and blah, blah, blah, 00:06:23.300 --> 00:06:26.279 blah, blah. And there it goes. And so Paul says, 00:06:26.500 --> 00:06:30.980 make my joy complete. And he says, I want there 00:06:30.980 --> 00:06:36.939 to be authentic Christ empowered unity. In other 00:06:36.939 --> 00:06:39.259 words, he says, I don't want just you to, you 00:06:39.259 --> 00:06:42.529 know, put up with each other. I don't want it 00:06:42.529 --> 00:06:46.290 to be just superficial. From the heart, I want 00:06:46.290 --> 00:06:50.689 you to love one another, resolve the conflicts, 00:06:51.009 --> 00:06:55.389 forgive one another, care for one another in 00:06:55.389 --> 00:06:59.370 a way that Christ has cared for you. Look at 00:06:59.370 --> 00:07:03.529 this very, very interesting structure. The structure 00:07:03.529 --> 00:07:06.610 here, he says, notice it says there's an if -then. 00:07:07.149 --> 00:07:10.560 In Greek, and I won't... get too detailed here, 00:07:10.699 --> 00:07:13.379 but there's called conditional clauses. We have 00:07:13.379 --> 00:07:15.779 them in English as well. But what I love about 00:07:15.779 --> 00:07:17.680 the Greek language, it's so clear. There's like 00:07:17.680 --> 00:07:20.459 three or four types of conditional clauses. So 00:07:20.459 --> 00:07:23.600 when it says, if, then, if, then, you know for 00:07:23.600 --> 00:07:25.399 sure what they're talking about. This is called 00:07:25.399 --> 00:07:28.399 a first class condition. And the idea is it's 00:07:28.399 --> 00:07:31.600 assumed to be true. And so notice what he says. 00:07:31.720 --> 00:07:34.019 He goes, if there's any encouragement in Christ, 00:07:34.160 --> 00:07:36.480 if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship 00:07:36.480 --> 00:07:38.420 with the spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 00:07:39.279 --> 00:07:41.959 And you could translate all that since you have 00:07:41.959 --> 00:07:43.899 encouragement in Christ, since you have comfort, 00:07:43.980 --> 00:07:45.939 since you have fellowship, since you have tenderness 00:07:45.939 --> 00:07:50.060 and compassion, then make my joy complete by, 00:07:50.240 --> 00:07:54.379 notice, after these four incentives, be of the 00:07:54.379 --> 00:07:57.339 same mind, maintaining the same love, united 00:07:57.339 --> 00:08:03.680 in spirit, intent on one purpose. It's interesting 00:08:03.680 --> 00:08:08.019 here. He's going to tell us that unlike the golden 00:08:08.019 --> 00:08:12.019 rule, which is do unto others as you would have 00:08:12.019 --> 00:08:14.899 them do unto you. His premise goes a little bit 00:08:14.899 --> 00:08:19.199 differently. I call it the platinum rule. Do 00:08:19.199 --> 00:08:23.279 unto others as God has already done unto you. 00:08:23.879 --> 00:08:26.439 In other words, the entire premise, what happens 00:08:26.439 --> 00:08:28.899 in conflicts and struggles and relationships 00:08:28.899 --> 00:08:31.899 is we think just horizontal and they did that 00:08:31.899 --> 00:08:34.659 and they don't deserve that. And when she apologizes 00:08:34.659 --> 00:08:37.120 or when he does that or when one of my kids comes 00:08:37.120 --> 00:08:39.580 back and really says, you know, dad, I'm really 00:08:39.580 --> 00:08:41.779 sorry and I understood this or I understood that 00:08:41.779 --> 00:08:44.639 or, you know, what they said at that last Thanksgiving 00:08:44.639 --> 00:08:47.399 or that family reunion, I'll never talk to them 00:08:47.399 --> 00:08:50.200 again unless what they need to do. He said, no, 00:08:50.240 --> 00:08:55.350 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He said, 00:08:55.370 --> 00:08:58.350 here's what I want you to get. The basis of loving 00:08:58.350 --> 00:09:03.049 people isn't how they've treated you, good or 00:09:03.049 --> 00:09:07.070 bad. The basis of our love is a choice. I choose 00:09:07.070 --> 00:09:10.990 love. And here's the basis of the choice. The 00:09:10.990 --> 00:09:14.269 basis of the choice is this is how God's loved 00:09:14.269 --> 00:09:19.769 you. He has encouraged you. He's come alongside 00:09:19.769 --> 00:09:25.820 you. He's forgiven you. been tender, you now 00:09:25.820 --> 00:09:28.419 have the fellowship. He has come to take up residence 00:09:28.419 --> 00:09:31.200 in you. He sealed you with his spirit. He's adopted 00:09:31.200 --> 00:09:34.500 you. He's given you spiritual gifts. A tenderness 00:09:34.500 --> 00:09:37.659 and compassion. The word tenderness here is splachna. 00:09:38.240 --> 00:09:41.379 It has the idea, it's rooted in the idea of something 00:09:41.379 --> 00:09:44.700 deep within the bowels. There's something tender, 00:09:44.779 --> 00:09:48.639 deep in the character of God, that you are his 00:09:48.639 --> 00:09:51.759 treasure. And then the compassion is an outward 00:09:51.759 --> 00:09:55.779 external evidence of an action that you so mattered 00:09:55.779 --> 00:09:58.519 that he did something. And what he did was he 00:09:58.519 --> 00:10:02.679 chose to go to the cross. He chose to love you 00:10:02.679 --> 00:10:05.240 and me when we were his enemies. While we were 00:10:05.240 --> 00:10:08.200 yet enemies, Christ died in our place, Paul tells 00:10:08.200 --> 00:10:14.539 us in Romans 5, 8. And so, The basis, the incentives, 00:10:14.679 --> 00:10:18.779 all four of these incentives, this is how you 00:10:18.779 --> 00:10:22.419 have been authentically, deeply, unconditionally 00:10:22.419 --> 00:10:27.559 loved. Now, make my joy complete and be unified 00:10:27.559 --> 00:10:30.259 authentically from the heart. And now he's going 00:10:30.259 --> 00:10:32.720 to show us exactly what biblical unity looks 00:10:32.720 --> 00:10:36.440 like. Number one, he says, be like -minded or 00:10:36.440 --> 00:10:39.480 of one spirit. Literally, it means think the 00:10:39.480 --> 00:10:42.110 same things. And the focus here is on truth. 00:10:42.830 --> 00:10:46.710 See, genuine unity is built on truth. It's thinking, 00:10:46.870 --> 00:10:49.490 it's content, it's doctrine. These things are 00:10:49.490 --> 00:10:53.250 true. So often, and I see it more and more today, 00:10:53.409 --> 00:10:56.429 it's unity is sort of like, oh, let's just love 00:10:56.429 --> 00:10:59.509 everyone. Don't judge anyone. It's pseudo unity. 00:10:59.789 --> 00:11:03.669 I mean, who are we to say anything? Let's just 00:11:03.669 --> 00:11:10.590 let this slide. Real unity demands truth. It 00:11:10.590 --> 00:11:12.750 demands truth about what the scripture says about 00:11:12.750 --> 00:11:15.409 morality. It demands truth about what the scripture 00:11:15.409 --> 00:11:18.389 says about sexuality. It demands truth about 00:11:18.389 --> 00:11:21.870 doctrine when it talks about the very narrow 00:11:21.870 --> 00:11:25.190 way to go to heaven and by what Christ has done 00:11:25.190 --> 00:11:30.009 in him alone. But it's truth that's held in agreeable, 00:11:30.090 --> 00:11:34.350 winsome, non -defensive, and it's not a way of 00:11:34.350 --> 00:11:37.470 pushing it on other people and it's never argumentative, 00:11:37.470 --> 00:11:42.909 but it's unwavering. steadfast, striving, battling 00:11:42.909 --> 00:11:47.690 for the truth, standing firm, lovingly, kindly, 00:11:47.970 --> 00:11:51.070 winsomely, but refusing to move off. He says 00:11:51.070 --> 00:11:54.789 unity is rooted in truth. Second, he says maintaining 00:11:54.789 --> 00:11:57.809 the same love. He says it's not just about the 00:11:57.809 --> 00:12:01.570 truth. This phrase here is have the same love, 00:12:01.690 --> 00:12:04.409 mutually love one another the way God has loved 00:12:04.409 --> 00:12:08.179 you, honestly, sacrificially. You know, we talk 00:12:08.179 --> 00:12:11.820 a lot about Romans 12 here as the profile of 00:12:11.820 --> 00:12:14.759 what it is to be a disciple. And in Romans chapter 00:12:14.759 --> 00:12:17.600 12, there's a section in the middle about loving 00:12:17.600 --> 00:12:21.320 one another. And it says, outdo one another in 00:12:21.320 --> 00:12:25.480 honor. Be devoted to one another in brotherly 00:12:25.480 --> 00:12:29.519 love. This is the idea. This isn't like some, 00:12:29.659 --> 00:12:33.590 yes. well, you know, she's not as spiritual as 00:12:33.590 --> 00:12:35.950 I am and I guess they made a mistake. And so, 00:12:35.950 --> 00:12:37.909 you know, I'll treat them and I'll forgive them 00:12:37.909 --> 00:12:41.049 because, you know, I am superior. He said, no, 00:12:41.110 --> 00:12:43.610 this has got to come from the heart. Biblical 00:12:43.610 --> 00:12:48.070 unity has to do with a genuine spiritual transformation 00:12:48.070 --> 00:12:51.529 that flows from an internal passion and concern 00:12:51.529 --> 00:12:54.149 that God gives you because you have received 00:12:54.149 --> 00:12:57.450 it. Now you give it third notice. It has the 00:12:57.450 --> 00:13:00.590 idea of united in spirit. Literally the phrase. 00:13:01.759 --> 00:13:04.879 is like -souled. It means to have a common heart, 00:13:04.940 --> 00:13:07.379 not just that you care, a common heart, that 00:13:07.379 --> 00:13:10.519 you're real, that you're authentic. No superficiality. 00:13:10.580 --> 00:13:12.860 And then the last one here is intent on one purpose. 00:13:13.500 --> 00:13:16.240 It's a unity that you say, we're in it together. 00:13:16.440 --> 00:13:19.320 We're going to resolve our issues. What God has 00:13:19.320 --> 00:13:21.779 done for me, I'm commanded to pass on to you. 00:13:21.960 --> 00:13:23.759 Paul, we're going to make your joy complete. 00:13:23.940 --> 00:13:25.500 And here's how we're going to do it. We're going 00:13:25.500 --> 00:13:27.919 to be one mind. truth. We're going to be one 00:13:27.919 --> 00:13:29.860 heart, care for one another. We're going to have 00:13:29.860 --> 00:13:32.840 one soul. We're going to connect. And we have 00:13:32.840 --> 00:13:36.159 a common purpose, the gospel going forward, people 00:13:36.159 --> 00:13:39.399 being loved, the poor being fed, people with 00:13:39.399 --> 00:13:42.279 HIV knowing someone cares, the people that are 00:13:42.279 --> 00:13:45.179 struggling with sexual identity issues know there's 00:13:45.179 --> 00:13:49.019 a church somewhere that cares, that wants to 00:13:49.019 --> 00:13:51.820 help. that doesn't condemn, that doesn't bend 00:13:51.820 --> 00:13:54.720 on the truth, but actually wants to help people 00:13:54.720 --> 00:13:58.019 that are marginalized and struggling. This is 00:13:58.019 --> 00:14:00.759 what he's talking about. And it's that kind of 00:14:00.759 --> 00:14:05.240 love that turned the world upside down and continues 00:14:05.240 --> 00:14:08.840 to turn the world upside down. Family by family, 00:14:08.960 --> 00:14:11.980 small group by small group, church by church, 00:14:12.220 --> 00:14:16.120 community by community. God has called this church 00:14:16.120 --> 00:14:19.440 at this time when it appears that the world is 00:14:19.440 --> 00:14:22.259 falling apart and that America is so divided. 00:14:22.299 --> 00:14:26.460 God is calling you and he's calling me. Make 00:14:26.460 --> 00:14:30.100 my joy complete, my children. I want you to choose 00:14:30.100 --> 00:14:32.519 to love. And when you cross your arms and say, 00:14:32.620 --> 00:14:35.120 not after what they've done to me, or, you know, 00:14:35.139 --> 00:14:37.320 I think those people are crazy and why are these 00:14:37.320 --> 00:14:39.659 people doing this? And why are they tweeting 00:14:39.659 --> 00:14:45.240 that? And I'm so ticked off. Can you imagine, 00:14:45.440 --> 00:14:49.019 honestly? I mean, honestly, can you imagine the 00:14:49.019 --> 00:14:52.539 God of heaven looking down upon the creation 00:14:52.539 --> 00:14:56.000 that he's made and then looking closely at his 00:14:56.000 --> 00:14:59.809 people? The church, I don't mean buildings, people 00:14:59.809 --> 00:15:03.429 within the spirit of God, his living. You talk 00:15:03.429 --> 00:15:06.389 about someone that ought to be ticked off. And 00:15:06.389 --> 00:15:09.830 yet he's patient and kind and gracious. And he's 00:15:09.830 --> 00:15:12.710 saying to you, and he's saying to me, this is 00:15:12.710 --> 00:15:17.070 a priority. This is a non -negotiable. I'm commanding 00:15:17.070 --> 00:15:21.480 you to choose to love one another. Not the golden 00:15:21.480 --> 00:15:25.240 rule, the platinum rule. I want you to love other 00:15:25.240 --> 00:15:27.559 people the way that I've loved you. Now, I hope 00:15:27.559 --> 00:15:29.659 at this point you're saying, okay, I get it. 00:15:31.840 --> 00:15:34.100 And those of you that are a little more honest 00:15:34.100 --> 00:15:38.519 with yourself could be saying, you know, I can't 00:15:38.519 --> 00:15:43.039 do that. And you know what? You'd be right. I 00:15:43.039 --> 00:15:46.799 can't either. In fact, God doesn't expect you 00:15:46.799 --> 00:15:49.809 to be able to do it. but he's going to tell us 00:15:49.809 --> 00:15:53.350 exactly how. So I want you to go back to that 00:15:53.350 --> 00:15:58.570 former business associate, that ex -mate, a dad, 00:15:58.669 --> 00:16:06.269 a mom, a son, a nephew, an in -law, a current 00:16:06.269 --> 00:16:10.590 reality at work, a current, maybe it's not a 00:16:10.590 --> 00:16:12.730 huge conflict, but something that keeps rubbing 00:16:12.730 --> 00:16:15.769 you the wrong way with a roommate or in your 00:16:15.769 --> 00:16:21.460 marriage. And then I want to open the text and 00:16:21.460 --> 00:16:25.460 what we're going to learn from God's word, if 00:16:25.460 --> 00:16:29.700 you're willing, is that we can choose love and 00:16:29.700 --> 00:16:33.879 we can learn how to be a more loving person. 00:16:34.080 --> 00:16:36.879 Now, there's no magic pill. If you think that, 00:16:36.899 --> 00:16:39.759 you know, in the next, you know, minutes or so, 00:16:39.820 --> 00:16:41.679 I'm going to give you some magic pill. Oh, I'm 00:16:41.679 --> 00:16:44.019 loving, I'm loving, I love everybody. No, no, 00:16:44.039 --> 00:16:46.799 no, no, no. we're going to face some hard things 00:16:46.799 --> 00:16:49.419 because what we're going to learn is why we're 00:16:49.419 --> 00:16:53.340 unloving, the drastic approach and what we're 00:16:53.340 --> 00:16:56.539 going to have to deal with in order to become 00:16:56.539 --> 00:16:59.840 loving. And then we're going to start this journey 00:16:59.840 --> 00:17:03.059 of choosing love and I'm going to share some 00:17:03.059 --> 00:17:06.839 real practical ways that every single person 00:17:06.839 --> 00:17:08.839 in this room and every person in the classic 00:17:08.839 --> 00:17:11.720 service and every person that's watching online 00:17:11.720 --> 00:17:13.720 and every person that ever listens to this ever, 00:17:14.240 --> 00:17:17.779 where we can actually go on a journey empowered 00:17:17.779 --> 00:17:20.940 by the Spirit of God and become more loving. 00:17:21.660 --> 00:17:26.960 Notice the right side of your notes, and it just 00:17:26.960 --> 00:17:29.740 asks this question, and we're going to answer 00:17:29.740 --> 00:17:32.440 it in just a minute. And the question is, how 00:17:32.440 --> 00:17:38.619 to become a more loving person? Choose to declare 00:17:38.619 --> 00:17:44.089 war on, write the word, selfishness. Choose, 00:17:44.089 --> 00:17:50.170 declare war on selfishness. And as usual, when 00:17:50.170 --> 00:17:55.349 I go high -tech here, my iPad is not working, 00:17:55.369 --> 00:17:58.309 so I think I'll go with a little bit less technical 00:17:58.309 --> 00:18:01.869 one that you all have. Turn to Philippians chapter 00:18:01.869 --> 00:18:05.650 2, if you're not already there, and let me read 00:18:05.650 --> 00:18:10.009 for you this command. Philippians chapter 2. 00:18:10.789 --> 00:18:14.900 We've looked at verses... One and two, follow 00:18:14.900 --> 00:18:17.240 along here in chapter two as we read verse three 00:18:17.240 --> 00:18:22.759 and four. Do nothing from selfishness or empty 00:18:22.759 --> 00:18:27.380 conceit, but in humility of mind, consider others 00:18:27.380 --> 00:18:31.500 more important than yourself. Verse four, let 00:18:31.500 --> 00:18:33.559 each of you look not only on your own interest, 00:18:33.779 --> 00:18:42.769 but also on the interest of others. You may be 00:18:42.769 --> 00:18:46.910 looking at this and saying, declare war? Aren't 00:18:46.910 --> 00:18:50.710 you getting a little radical here? No, no. We're 00:18:50.710 --> 00:18:53.970 born with this innate ability to be selfish. 00:18:54.009 --> 00:18:56.869 In fact, let me define selfish ambition here. 00:18:58.349 --> 00:19:03.190 Four words. I want my way. That's selfish ambition. 00:19:03.410 --> 00:19:07.690 I want my way. You might jot down, it's a me 00:19:07.690 --> 00:19:10.390 first mentality. I want to be first in line. 00:19:10.680 --> 00:19:12.920 I want the best spot. I want to get on the plane 00:19:12.920 --> 00:19:17.799 first. That's one of mine. I want to get to work 00:19:17.799 --> 00:19:21.380 first. When I go through the buffet, I want the 00:19:21.380 --> 00:19:23.579 best piece of meat. I want the best promotion. 00:19:26.200 --> 00:19:29.099 It's me first. I want my needs met in this marriage. 00:19:29.279 --> 00:19:31.220 I want my mom and dad to come through for me. 00:19:31.599 --> 00:19:33.859 I want my professor to give me what I want when 00:19:33.859 --> 00:19:38.220 I want it. It's a me first mentality. I want 00:19:38.220 --> 00:19:42.730 to be number one. I'm selfish. Now, it's very 00:19:42.730 --> 00:19:47.430 unpopular to admit that. But what is hard to 00:19:47.430 --> 00:19:49.950 see in ourselves, isn't it easy to see in others? 00:19:50.470 --> 00:19:52.289 I mean, you get out on the freeway, are people 00:19:52.289 --> 00:19:56.470 selfish or what? I mean, this isn't like out 00:19:56.470 --> 00:19:59.970 there somewhere either. Anybody here tried to 00:19:59.970 --> 00:20:02.509 get out of the parking lot here? You know, especially 00:20:02.509 --> 00:20:06.049 11 o 'clock service. Now, there are some people, 00:20:06.130 --> 00:20:08.670 you know, very Christian, wave you in. And there's 00:20:08.670 --> 00:20:11.220 some... Some of you that are still working on 00:20:11.220 --> 00:20:14.099 it, let me put it that way. But we're selfish. 00:20:14.839 --> 00:20:18.039 But you don't slide out of being selfish. Even 00:20:18.039 --> 00:20:20.720 though the living spirit of Christ lives inside 00:20:20.720 --> 00:20:22.819 of you and you're born again and you're a part 00:20:22.819 --> 00:20:24.980 of the kingdom of God, there's this battle. The 00:20:24.980 --> 00:20:28.299 Galatians talks about the spirit wages war against 00:20:28.299 --> 00:20:32.700 the flesh. This predisposition toward my way, 00:20:32.779 --> 00:20:36.359 my stuff is rooted in your heart and you'll have 00:20:36.359 --> 00:20:39.660 it until the day you die. But the Spirit of God 00:20:39.660 --> 00:20:44.339 can give you the ability to, in humility, look 00:20:44.339 --> 00:20:47.400 at the second half of that text. In humility, 00:20:47.480 --> 00:20:50.339 consider others as more important than yourself. 00:20:50.500 --> 00:20:54.319 Humility can be a very misunderstood word. So 00:20:54.319 --> 00:20:58.720 I came across a very, very interesting article. 00:20:59.319 --> 00:21:01.799 I think of humility as not thinking too highly 00:21:01.799 --> 00:21:03.779 of yourself, not thinking too lowly of yourself, 00:21:04.079 --> 00:21:09.360 but having an accurate, sober self. assessment. 00:21:09.360 --> 00:21:14.819 As one person said, humility is not thinking 00:21:14.819 --> 00:21:20.119 less of yourself. Humility is just thinking less 00:21:20.119 --> 00:21:24.920 about yourself. Beating yourself up, I'm a terrible 00:21:24.920 --> 00:21:26.940 person, that's not humility. That's not accurate. 00:21:27.339 --> 00:21:30.839 It's just not letting you, it's me not letting 00:21:30.839 --> 00:21:33.220 me be the thing and the person I think about 00:21:33.220 --> 00:21:36.960 all the time. They're doing science now on the 00:21:36.960 --> 00:21:39.380 benefits of virtues, things like forgiveness. 00:21:40.200 --> 00:21:43.200 They've done lots of research on gratitude. You 00:21:43.200 --> 00:21:45.940 may have read some of that. This is an article 00:21:45.940 --> 00:21:49.440 by a professor at George Fox University. It's 00:21:49.440 --> 00:21:52.160 called The Science of Humility. It says, researchers 00:21:52.160 --> 00:21:54.059 have developed scales to measure intellectual 00:21:54.059 --> 00:21:56.579 humility, relational humility, cultural humility, 00:21:56.839 --> 00:21:59.480 and some are now working on spiritual humility 00:21:59.480 --> 00:22:03.049 as well. As with forgiveness and gratitude, humility 00:22:03.049 --> 00:22:06.069 fosters. This is what humility delivers. Are 00:22:06.069 --> 00:22:08.230 you ready for this? Humility fosters physical 00:22:08.230 --> 00:22:10.809 and mental and relational health. Humble people 00:22:10.809 --> 00:22:13.509 are more grateful and forgiving, so they enjoy 00:22:13.509 --> 00:22:15.690 the benefits of those virtues. They're also, 00:22:15.890 --> 00:22:18.569 humble people are more generous and helpful to 00:22:18.569 --> 00:22:22.680 others. Hey, this is a good one. They have better 00:22:22.680 --> 00:22:24.900 romantic relationships. For some of you, get 00:22:24.900 --> 00:22:27.539 humble right away, okay? They have better romantic 00:22:27.539 --> 00:22:30.259 relationships, have less anxiety about death, 00:22:30.420 --> 00:22:33.700 and experience less spiritual struggle. Those 00:22:33.700 --> 00:22:36.940 parents who are concerned about your kids, people 00:22:36.940 --> 00:22:39.420 that are humble perform better at school, show 00:22:39.420 --> 00:22:41.980 more compassion to others, and even have better 00:22:41.980 --> 00:22:46.359 self -esteem than less humble people. So in other 00:22:46.359 --> 00:22:48.559 words, they're doing scientific research. And 00:22:48.559 --> 00:22:51.859 what God has commanded, what delights our Father, 00:22:51.980 --> 00:22:56.480 and what Christ modeled amazingly, is the genuine 00:22:56.480 --> 00:23:01.460 humility. Not putting yourself first, but actually 00:23:01.460 --> 00:23:04.660 considering the needs of others. It's what we 00:23:04.660 --> 00:23:06.559 call around here, and you'll learn more about 00:23:06.559 --> 00:23:09.640 in this series, it's the I am second mentality. 00:23:10.140 --> 00:23:12.420 I mean, it just goes completely against everything. 00:23:12.519 --> 00:23:16.849 I am second. as I go through the line. I am second 00:23:16.849 --> 00:23:19.609 as I drive on the freeway. I am second when I 00:23:19.609 --> 00:23:21.910 think about my rights in my marriage. I am second 00:23:21.910 --> 00:23:23.630 when I think about the needs with my roommate. 00:23:24.289 --> 00:23:27.109 I am second when we're trying to divide something 00:23:27.109 --> 00:23:32.190 and see who gets the bigger piece. The article 00:23:32.190 --> 00:23:35.789 goes on and says that humility, this is very 00:23:35.789 --> 00:23:39.339 important, does not require self -loathing. or 00:23:39.339 --> 00:23:41.759 self -belittling, but it calls for us to dial 00:23:41.759 --> 00:23:44.000 back our normal tendency, are you ready for this, 00:23:44.119 --> 00:23:48.059 to overestimate our abilities and behaviors. 00:23:48.259 --> 00:23:50.920 Now, I never do that, and you never do that, 00:23:51.000 --> 00:23:53.240 but there's some people out there that overestimate 00:23:53.240 --> 00:23:55.460 their abilities and their behaviors, and you 00:23:55.460 --> 00:23:59.019 know I'm teasing. I love it. He goes, there's 00:23:59.019 --> 00:24:01.460 three characteristics of people that are genuinely 00:24:01.460 --> 00:24:05.619 humble. Number one, they have a reasonably accurate 00:24:05.619 --> 00:24:09.460 view of themselves. Neither too high or neither 00:24:09.460 --> 00:24:14.019 too low. Pretty biblical. Number two is they 00:24:14.019 --> 00:24:19.900 care more deeply or have a concern and notice 00:24:19.900 --> 00:24:24.799 other people. And then number three is humble 00:24:24.799 --> 00:24:30.220 people are teachable. So genuine humility is 00:24:30.220 --> 00:24:32.640 rooted in some characteristics and according 00:24:32.640 --> 00:24:35.019 to the scientific study, which actually is... 00:24:35.470 --> 00:24:37.349 pretty biblical, whether they know it or not, 00:24:37.509 --> 00:24:40.890 is that they have a pretty accurate view of themselves. 00:24:41.170 --> 00:24:42.869 In other words, I'm not the center of the world. 00:24:43.430 --> 00:24:46.369 Are you ready? I'm not the smartest person in 00:24:46.369 --> 00:24:49.250 the room. My opinions aren't always the best. 00:24:49.410 --> 00:24:52.529 My perspective of what we ought to do or my decision 00:24:52.529 --> 00:24:54.470 isn't necessarily better than others, but it 00:24:54.470 --> 00:24:56.109 doesn't mean that I don't have good thoughts 00:24:56.109 --> 00:24:59.349 and my decisions and my perspective can be very 00:24:59.349 --> 00:25:01.430 valid. So they don't think too high. They don't 00:25:01.430 --> 00:25:04.279 think too low. The second one is they really 00:25:04.279 --> 00:25:07.099 consider the thoughts, the interests, and the 00:25:07.099 --> 00:25:09.720 feelings of others. Humble people are sensitive. 00:25:09.960 --> 00:25:12.579 Humble people notice the person that when everyone 00:25:12.579 --> 00:25:14.680 gets out and walks out of here, humble people 00:25:14.680 --> 00:25:17.460 see the people that no one said hi to. Humble 00:25:17.460 --> 00:25:20.480 people notice the needs of other people. Genuinely 00:25:20.480 --> 00:25:22.740 humble people, I'm always amazed that, you know, 00:25:22.759 --> 00:25:25.000 maybe I'll have a passing conversation with someone 00:25:25.000 --> 00:25:27.259 and like a week later, two weeks later, like 00:25:27.259 --> 00:25:31.140 get a note or get something in the mail. I was 00:25:31.140 --> 00:25:33.319 meeting with someone a long time ago and they 00:25:33.319 --> 00:25:36.400 watched me fiddle with trying to recharge. You 00:25:36.400 --> 00:25:38.539 know, you got all these rechargers and all this 00:25:38.539 --> 00:25:41.019 different stuff. Out of the blue, a week later, 00:25:41.140 --> 00:25:44.500 I get a package. There's no name. There's no 00:25:44.500 --> 00:25:46.690 note. There's no anything. I don't know what 00:25:46.690 --> 00:25:48.890 it is. I open the package, and it's one of these 00:25:48.890 --> 00:25:52.789 bars that has one, two, three, four, five, where 00:25:52.789 --> 00:25:54.769 you can hook in your phone, everything else with 00:25:54.769 --> 00:25:56.990 the plug, and you plug the thing in. I use it 00:25:56.990 --> 00:26:01.369 every day. Humility. Someone didn't say a word, 00:26:01.470 --> 00:26:04.210 saw I had a need, and addressed the need. And 00:26:04.210 --> 00:26:06.349 third, and I think this is big, they're teachable. 00:26:08.150 --> 00:26:10.269 They realize that they're on the journey too. 00:26:15.239 --> 00:26:22.980 How humble are you? For some of your personalities, 00:26:22.980 --> 00:26:26.819 I just want to say, please, please don't go to, 00:26:26.980 --> 00:26:31.019 oh, I came to church today. I'm a terrible person. 00:26:31.059 --> 00:26:33.039 Everything he's talking about, that's me. I'm 00:26:33.039 --> 00:26:35.000 an arrogant, terrible person. You know what? 00:26:35.019 --> 00:26:38.579 Guess where your focus is at this moment? It's 00:26:38.579 --> 00:26:43.829 on you. At the heart of not being humble, is 00:26:43.829 --> 00:26:46.509 not thinking lowly of yourself, belittling yourself, 00:26:46.750 --> 00:26:51.910 condemning yourself. In fact, the second way 00:26:51.910 --> 00:26:56.710 to become more loving is attack the root of the 00:26:56.710 --> 00:26:59.210 problem. And then I want you to write in the 00:26:59.210 --> 00:27:04.869 word pride. Attack the root of the problem. If 00:27:04.869 --> 00:27:07.049 you will, right underneath where you see verse 00:27:07.049 --> 00:27:10.680 three, circle the world, empty conceit. Do nothing 00:27:10.680 --> 00:27:17.480 from selfish ambition or empty conceit. Selfish 00:27:17.480 --> 00:27:20.640 ambition, selfishness is what we do. The root 00:27:20.640 --> 00:27:23.299 of the problem is why we do it. That's empty 00:27:23.299 --> 00:27:26.420 conceit. Or I love, write this word down. I love 00:27:26.420 --> 00:27:28.880 this phrase. It's an old, old, old version of 00:27:28.880 --> 00:27:33.559 King James. Vain glory, empty glory. You say, 00:27:33.599 --> 00:27:36.259 well, what's vain glory? What's empty conceit? 00:27:37.680 --> 00:27:41.109 Well. A good street name is pride, but that's 00:27:41.109 --> 00:27:45.710 sort of, it's kind of a big word. Let me give 00:27:45.710 --> 00:27:49.589 you some very specific pictures of empty conceit. 00:27:50.609 --> 00:27:54.769 Empty conceit is I'm better. I'm more important. 00:27:55.470 --> 00:28:00.329 I'm superior. I'm more intelligent. My time matters 00:28:00.329 --> 00:28:05.150 more than yours. My life matters more than you. 00:28:06.119 --> 00:28:08.819 I have greater value. I have greater worth. Now, 00:28:08.880 --> 00:28:11.200 you may not say that outside in your head, but 00:28:11.200 --> 00:28:15.819 our behavior, our behavior just screams vain 00:28:15.819 --> 00:28:20.220 glory. I like the way I say that, glory, right? 00:28:21.259 --> 00:28:24.799 It's this, I'm the center of the world and I 00:28:24.799 --> 00:28:26.779 can clothe it with all kinds of Bible verses. 00:28:28.420 --> 00:28:33.500 And I can actually, in a Christian way, do image 00:28:33.500 --> 00:28:37.359 management to try and project I'm humble. Which 00:28:37.359 --> 00:28:40.299 is that the empty conceit, the idea is I want 00:28:40.299 --> 00:28:43.740 everyone to have this amazing opinion of me that 00:28:43.740 --> 00:28:47.339 I either want for myself or actually think I 00:28:47.339 --> 00:28:53.039 have. I made a list because this got very convicting 00:28:53.039 --> 00:28:56.240 and I thought, oh boy. I made a list of some 00:28:56.240 --> 00:29:01.140 ways that when this happens in me, okay? This 00:29:01.140 --> 00:29:03.819 isn't you, this is me. When these things happen 00:29:03.819 --> 00:29:08.079 in me, what I know is vain glory, empty conceit, 00:29:08.079 --> 00:29:11.960 pride is raising its ugly head. And then I'm 00:29:11.960 --> 00:29:13.720 going to talk to you about how to go into training. 00:29:14.279 --> 00:29:16.940 And did you notice the violent words I've used? 00:29:18.200 --> 00:29:21.579 Declare war, attack. In other words, you got 00:29:21.579 --> 00:29:23.420 to get to the root of the problem. This isn't 00:29:23.420 --> 00:29:26.079 about, I think I'm going to try and be more loving 00:29:26.079 --> 00:29:28.480 and I'll tell someone I forgive. No, this is 00:29:28.480 --> 00:29:32.440 heart stuff, root stuff. This is stuff that's 00:29:32.440 --> 00:29:35.660 so deeply in your psyche and in your soul and 00:29:35.660 --> 00:29:39.400 mind that you have to declare war. I refuse in 00:29:39.400 --> 00:29:41.339 light of what God's done for me to be a selfish 00:29:41.339 --> 00:29:44.240 person. I'm going to attack the root problem. 00:29:44.380 --> 00:29:47.519 And the root problem is in my thinking. I become 00:29:47.519 --> 00:29:50.200 the center of things even subtly because in my 00:29:50.200 --> 00:29:52.299 thinking, I think I'm better or I want to project 00:29:52.299 --> 00:29:54.559 that I'm better. In my thinking, my time and 00:29:54.559 --> 00:29:59.299 my money and what I do is more important. It's 00:29:59.299 --> 00:30:03.980 lethal. It destroys relationships. It's unloving. 00:30:04.920 --> 00:30:09.000 And so when these things happen in my life, what 00:30:09.000 --> 00:30:14.240 I know is pride. Defensiveness. Someone makes 00:30:14.240 --> 00:30:16.890 a comment to me immediately. It could be my wife. 00:30:16.930 --> 00:30:18.509 It can be in a meeting. It could be one of my 00:30:18.509 --> 00:30:20.789 kids. It can be someone I don't know very much. 00:30:21.150 --> 00:30:22.950 They say something, we're talking about something, 00:30:23.089 --> 00:30:26.190 and I hear myself, I'm defensive. Well, why? 00:30:26.730 --> 00:30:28.390 Because I've got to guard. I've got to prove. 00:30:28.450 --> 00:30:32.250 I've got to protect. Whatever they've said, that 00:30:32.250 --> 00:30:34.950 sort of hit a button inside. Second, making excuses. 00:30:37.269 --> 00:30:40.950 It's my pride. I didn't do it wrong. I didn't 00:30:40.950 --> 00:30:43.269 mess up. It was them. It was late. It was the 00:30:43.269 --> 00:30:44.910 traffic. If they would have done this on time, 00:30:44.990 --> 00:30:48.069 I would have had it on time. It's, you name it. 00:30:49.769 --> 00:30:52.170 In fact, related to that one is when I hear myself 00:30:52.170 --> 00:30:55.470 blaming other people, I know that's pride. In 00:30:55.470 --> 00:30:58.289 other words, don't look at me and think it's 00:30:58.289 --> 00:31:01.789 my fault. See, humility, you know what humility 00:31:01.789 --> 00:31:05.869 does? And it actually gains. It actually gains. 00:31:06.599 --> 00:31:09.440 the credibility of people. When you actually 00:31:09.440 --> 00:31:11.480 make a mistake, when you're actually late, when 00:31:11.480 --> 00:31:13.259 you really blow it, when you don't come through, 00:31:13.400 --> 00:31:16.740 it's amazing what happens when you say, you know, 00:31:16.740 --> 00:31:20.880 hey, I hope you all will, I just apologize. That 00:31:20.880 --> 00:31:23.480 was a deadline. I didn't hit it. I could give 00:31:23.480 --> 00:31:25.319 you a number of reasons. None of them really 00:31:25.319 --> 00:31:28.039 measure up other than I didn't use my time wisely. 00:31:28.400 --> 00:31:30.980 I went down some bad paths in terms of how to 00:31:30.980 --> 00:31:33.359 solve this problem. I'd like to ask you guys 00:31:33.359 --> 00:31:37.000 to forgive me. You know what normally happens? 00:31:37.140 --> 00:31:38.980 Everyone in the room knows they do that too. 00:31:40.119 --> 00:31:45.700 But so often we blame, we make excuses. In my 00:31:45.700 --> 00:31:47.920 marriage for many years, I remember my wife saying 00:31:47.920 --> 00:31:50.579 this. She said it in the presence of a counselor, 00:31:50.700 --> 00:31:53.660 so it was very unpleasant. Chip, you always have 00:31:53.660 --> 00:31:56.980 to have the last word. Does that ring a bell? 00:31:57.380 --> 00:32:01.059 You always have to have the last word. And I 00:32:01.059 --> 00:32:04.460 had to go into training to realize why. Because 00:32:04.460 --> 00:32:07.240 down deep, I've got to be right. I've got to 00:32:07.240 --> 00:32:11.039 declare. And it was all about these insecurities 00:32:11.039 --> 00:32:14.339 and this pride. I remember evaluating things, 00:32:14.420 --> 00:32:16.839 and especially some of you that are... or if 00:32:16.839 --> 00:32:19.240 you have some leadership or strategic views of 00:32:19.240 --> 00:32:22.279 things, and the challenge is if you're really 00:32:22.279 --> 00:32:26.180 pretty good at it. I remember a number of years 00:32:26.180 --> 00:32:28.319 ago, it was probably a decade ago, I would hope 00:32:28.319 --> 00:32:29.900 it'd be a little bit more, but honestly, probably 00:32:29.900 --> 00:32:32.819 about a decade ago, when I realized, when I evaluated 00:32:32.819 --> 00:32:35.299 things, I had this subtle view that when I looked 00:32:35.299 --> 00:32:37.140 at all the pieces and I aligned all the pieces, 00:32:37.319 --> 00:32:42.039 that my view was the truth. My view. In other 00:32:42.039 --> 00:32:43.660 words, I've looked at this, I've looked at this, 00:32:43.680 --> 00:32:45.099 I've prayed about it, I've got it all together. 00:32:45.630 --> 00:32:50.369 My view of this situation is the truth. And boy, 00:32:50.430 --> 00:32:53.509 did I find out. Either I didn't read the pieces 00:32:53.509 --> 00:32:56.029 right or I didn't have all the pieces. And I 00:32:56.029 --> 00:32:58.630 had a couple of experiences where I was so wrong. 00:32:59.490 --> 00:33:02.849 And now when I have a conversation where I have 00:33:02.849 --> 00:33:05.109 to confront someone and it's really difficult 00:33:05.109 --> 00:33:09.109 and it's really tender, I try to always preface 00:33:09.109 --> 00:33:11.769 it with something like this. Now I want you to 00:33:11.769 --> 00:33:14.259 know that I need to... I need to say a couple 00:33:14.259 --> 00:33:16.799 things that will be hard to hear, but here's 00:33:16.799 --> 00:33:20.200 what you need to hear first. This is my perspective, 00:33:20.220 --> 00:33:22.680 not to be confused with the truth. I don't know 00:33:22.680 --> 00:33:25.220 the reality, but what I want you to know and 00:33:25.220 --> 00:33:28.180 what I'm responsible, this is my perspective. 00:33:28.240 --> 00:33:31.519 I'd like you to take this perspective, and would 00:33:31.519 --> 00:33:33.700 you weigh this before God to see what truth is 00:33:33.700 --> 00:33:36.740 in it? Do you see the difference? My list is 00:33:36.740 --> 00:33:43.160 actually longer. Well, here's one. I was perpetually 00:33:43.160 --> 00:33:47.720 late for almost everything for years. You know, 00:33:47.740 --> 00:33:50.579 the guy that's dashing onto the plane in the 00:33:50.579 --> 00:33:52.519 old years before, you know, there was all that 00:33:52.519 --> 00:33:55.519 security or the person who's rushing in and running 00:33:55.519 --> 00:33:57.720 out of the parking lot and coming in two minutes 00:33:57.720 --> 00:33:59.940 late or five minutes late. I was late, late, 00:34:00.059 --> 00:34:04.240 late, late, late. And I tried hard and it really 00:34:04.240 --> 00:34:07.240 bugged my wife. And then I had a breakthrough. 00:34:07.400 --> 00:34:09.800 My problem was not being late. My problem wasn't 00:34:09.800 --> 00:34:12.119 self -will. My problem wasn't discipline. My 00:34:12.119 --> 00:34:15.420 problem was grandiosity. And when I saw that 00:34:15.420 --> 00:34:20.719 it was so ugly, I changed. Some of you are saying, 00:34:20.800 --> 00:34:24.239 so what exactly is grandiosity? Grandiosity is 00:34:24.239 --> 00:34:26.500 thinking whatever you're doing is so important. 00:34:27.860 --> 00:34:32.940 And if I can say this kindly, we come here on 00:34:32.940 --> 00:34:36.679 a weekend. to adore and give our very best to 00:34:36.679 --> 00:34:39.639 the creator of the universe and the savior that 00:34:39.639 --> 00:34:42.119 died upon a cross to pay for our sin and rose 00:34:42.119 --> 00:34:43.960 from the dead and has given us eternal life. 00:34:45.320 --> 00:34:50.860 The grandiosity to come in 5, 10, 15, 20 minutes 00:34:50.860 --> 00:34:56.300 late. The grandiosity of during a song or during 00:34:56.300 --> 00:34:58.380 this time when I'm teaching the very word of 00:34:58.380 --> 00:35:00.820 God, you checking your email and having your 00:35:00.820 --> 00:35:05.889 phone open. is arrogance. It's just arrogance. 00:35:07.630 --> 00:35:10.949 And, you know, please, you know, I always hear 00:35:10.949 --> 00:35:12.769 pastors say, I don't want you to feel guilty. 00:35:12.869 --> 00:35:15.489 Actually, I want you to feel guilty. If you're 00:35:15.489 --> 00:35:18.230 guilty, guilt's a really good thing. If there's 00:35:18.230 --> 00:35:21.010 genuine sorrow, you repent and you realize, oh, 00:35:21.190 --> 00:35:23.309 I never thought of it that way. I'm not saying 00:35:23.309 --> 00:35:25.230 you thought of it intentionally. I'm just telling 00:35:25.230 --> 00:35:28.230 you what it is. If this was a U2 concert, this 00:35:28.230 --> 00:35:30.550 place would be packed two hours and people would 00:35:30.550 --> 00:35:32.809 rush to get in. When you buy tickets to a movie, 00:35:32.909 --> 00:35:37.170 you don't go a half hour late. See, we have a 00:35:37.170 --> 00:35:40.070 consumer mindset. There is a grandiosity and 00:35:40.070 --> 00:35:44.170 an arrogance. And it needs to be changed. And 00:35:44.170 --> 00:35:48.650 so notice point number three is choose to practice 00:35:48.650 --> 00:35:52.750 humility daily by putting others' needs and interests 00:35:52.750 --> 00:35:55.400 ahead of your own. Don't consider just your own 00:35:55.400 --> 00:35:59.719 interest, although the passage is clear, take 00:35:59.719 --> 00:36:02.300 them into account, but consider the interests 00:36:02.300 --> 00:36:05.880 of others as more important than your own. Where 00:36:05.880 --> 00:36:07.280 are we going to go to eat? Where would you like 00:36:07.280 --> 00:36:11.559 to go to eat? Maybe this person has to get to 00:36:11.559 --> 00:36:14.000 work. It's as important or more important than 00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:19.710 you. What would happen? What would happen? If 00:36:19.710 --> 00:36:22.269 we declared war on selfishness, if we said, I'm 00:36:22.269 --> 00:36:24.730 gonna attack the root of this problem, which 00:36:24.730 --> 00:36:27.369 is really my own pride, this empty conceit, this 00:36:27.369 --> 00:36:29.650 vain glory. And then this week, I'm gonna go 00:36:29.650 --> 00:36:32.650 into training and I'm gonna choose very specifically 00:36:32.650 --> 00:36:35.110 in little, little things that'll grow into bigger 00:36:35.110 --> 00:36:38.789 and bigger things. I'm gonna choose in my money 00:36:38.789 --> 00:36:41.030 to be generous. I'm gonna choose in my time to 00:36:41.030 --> 00:36:45.690 be generous. And we'll talk about exactly how 00:36:45.690 --> 00:36:50.400 very specifically to put that in practice. Ask 00:36:50.400 --> 00:36:55.260 yourself, where does my money go? Loving toward 00:36:55.260 --> 00:36:58.960 God and others or me? Where does my time go? 00:37:00.400 --> 00:37:04.239 Toward God and others or me? Where does my energy 00:37:04.239 --> 00:37:11.880 go? Father, I pray now as there are many, many, 00:37:11.880 --> 00:37:15.949 many relationships that are fractured. And it 00:37:15.949 --> 00:37:18.670 will require only one person to admit at the 00:37:18.670 --> 00:37:20.530 heart of it, regardless of the other person, 00:37:20.610 --> 00:37:23.769 that pride and selfishness and arrogance is at 00:37:23.769 --> 00:37:27.230 the core and a repentance before you. And then 00:37:27.230 --> 00:37:31.550 the next steps of asking forgiveness and restitution 00:37:31.550 --> 00:37:35.349 and even reconciliation in some cases where it's 00:37:35.349 --> 00:37:39.349 possible. So Lord, would you bring to mind in 00:37:39.349 --> 00:37:44.369 this room the people that need to get a call? 00:37:44.909 --> 00:37:49.030 a lunch, a coffee, a text, a letter, a note of 00:37:49.030 --> 00:37:53.050 apology, so that we could love others the way 00:37:53.050 --> 00:37:59.030 you've loved us. This is Living on the Edge with 00:37:59.030 --> 00:38:01.969 Chip Ingram, and we're in our series called Choosing 00:38:01.969 --> 00:38:04.730 Love. If you're ready to turn today's challenge 00:38:04.730 --> 00:38:08.190 into lasting change, Chip's newest book, I Choose 00:38:08.190 --> 00:38:11.030 Love, gives you the practical roadmap you need. 00:38:11.559 --> 00:38:14.139 It doesn't just tell you what to do. It shows 00:38:14.139 --> 00:38:17.019 you how to do it. You'll learn to recognize the 00:38:17.019 --> 00:38:19.900 subtle ways pride and selfishness sabotage your 00:38:19.900 --> 00:38:22.840 relationships. You'll discover practical exercises 00:38:22.840 --> 00:38:26.030 to develop genuine humility. And you'll see how 00:38:26.030 --> 00:38:28.949 choosing agape love, the sacrificial, others 00:38:28.949 --> 00:38:31.989 -focused love of God, transforms even your most 00:38:31.989 --> 00:38:35.130 difficult relationships. I Choose Love addresses 00:38:35.130 --> 00:38:38.170 the real issues we all face. The tendency to 00:38:38.170 --> 00:38:40.530 need the last word. The subtle belief that our 00:38:40.530 --> 00:38:43.429 perspective is the truth. The grandiosity that 00:38:43.429 --> 00:38:46.030 shows up in small ways like chronic lateness. 00:38:46.760 --> 00:38:49.119 Chip gets brutally honest about his own struggles, 00:38:49.239 --> 00:38:52.059 and he shows you the path forward. If you're 00:38:52.059 --> 00:38:54.739 tired of broken relationships and ready to experience 00:38:54.739 --> 00:38:58.000 love that actually works, get your copy of I 00:38:58.000 --> 00:39:02.219 Choose Love today. Visit livingontheedge .org. 00:39:02.500 --> 00:39:05.179 And friend, this Bible teaching program is reaching 00:39:05.179 --> 00:39:07.760 you and countless others because of the faithful 00:39:07.760 --> 00:39:10.679 giving of listeners just like you. When you give 00:39:10.679 --> 00:39:12.920 to Living on the Edge, you're multiplying this 00:39:12.920 --> 00:39:15.800 message of transformative love around the world. 00:39:16.559 --> 00:39:19.599 Would you join us? Visit livingontheedge .org 00:39:19.599 --> 00:39:25.699 to give or just call us at 888 -333 -6003. Well, 00:39:25.719 --> 00:39:28.159 that wraps up today's episode. Don't miss the 00:39:28.159 --> 00:39:30.699 next Bible teaching message coming up here on 00:39:30.699 --> 00:39:37.000 the Chip Ingram Sermon Podcast. Today's program 00:39:37.000 --> 00:39:39.760 is produced and sponsored by Living on the Edge.