WEBVTT 00:00:11.439 --> 00:00:14.160 Today on Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. 00:00:14.240 --> 00:00:17.300 There is a place that God created where you can 00:00:17.300 --> 00:00:20.039 experience authentic love and connection like 00:00:20.039 --> 00:00:23.140 nowhere else on earth. It's a place where loneliness 00:00:23.140 --> 00:00:26.199 isn't welcome and meaningful relationships abound. 00:00:26.440 --> 00:00:28.780 It's a community where people can be reconnected 00:00:28.780 --> 00:00:31.000 to their family. Sound like a place you might 00:00:31.000 --> 00:00:33.479 want to go? Stick around. I'll give you directions 00:00:33.479 --> 00:00:37.979 on how to get there. God cares about your loneliness. 00:00:38.340 --> 00:00:41.500 Jesus understands your pain. He invites you into 00:00:41.500 --> 00:00:43.840 relationship with him. But here's the problem 00:00:43.840 --> 00:00:46.320 many Christians face. They're positional members 00:00:46.320 --> 00:00:48.960 of the church, yet they never truly participate. 00:00:49.359 --> 00:00:51.859 They're saved, forgiven, part of the family, 00:00:51.960 --> 00:00:55.140 but still lonely. I'm Dave Drury, and today on 00:00:55.140 --> 00:00:57.659 Living on the Edge, Chip Ingram reveals the difference 00:00:57.659 --> 00:01:00.399 between attending church and actually belonging. 00:01:00.759 --> 00:01:03.700 In our series, Experience Breakthrough, we're 00:01:03.700 --> 00:01:06.299 discovering how to stop feeling confined by life's 00:01:06.299 --> 00:01:09.019 biggest barriers. Last time, we learned that 00:01:09.019 --> 00:01:12.200 loneliness is universal. Today, Chip shows us 00:01:12.200 --> 00:01:15.000 God's solution, authentic community in the body 00:01:15.000 --> 00:01:17.719 of Christ. Well, here's Chip Ingram with today's 00:01:17.719 --> 00:01:20.620 message. Let me give you four reasons why you 00:01:20.620 --> 00:01:22.560 don't have to be lonely. First, you don't have 00:01:22.560 --> 00:01:27.180 to be lonely because God cares about your loneliness. 00:01:27.579 --> 00:01:32.019 God knows your deepest feelings of loneliness, 00:01:32.079 --> 00:01:35.269 and He cares. Second reason that you don't have 00:01:35.269 --> 00:01:37.030 to be lonely and I don't have to be lonely is 00:01:37.030 --> 00:01:40.150 Jesus understands your loneliness. Hebrews 4 00:01:40.150 --> 00:01:42.150 .15 says that we don't have a high priest that 00:01:42.150 --> 00:01:44.609 can't sympathize with our weaknesses. But he, 00:01:44.650 --> 00:01:47.750 like us, has been tempted in every way yet without 00:01:47.750 --> 00:01:51.170 sin. He understands everything that you feel 00:01:51.170 --> 00:01:53.829 in the realm of loneliness. God not only cares, 00:01:53.950 --> 00:01:57.650 but Jesus completely understands. Because he 00:01:57.650 --> 00:02:00.170 understands, there's a third reason we don't 00:02:00.170 --> 00:02:02.459 have to be lonely. The third reason is Jesus 00:02:02.459 --> 00:02:05.159 invites you into a relationship with him. Jesus 00:02:05.159 --> 00:02:07.980 in Matthew 11, 28 through 30 says, listen to 00:02:07.980 --> 00:02:12.500 this, arms open. Come. Come to me, all who are 00:02:12.500 --> 00:02:15.599 weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 00:02:16.300 --> 00:02:19.659 Then notice the offer. Take my yoke upon you 00:02:19.659 --> 00:02:23.099 and learn from me. And it's a process, isn't 00:02:23.099 --> 00:02:24.819 it? Learn from me. Why do we learn from him? 00:02:24.860 --> 00:02:27.360 Notice the two adjectives. I am gentle. The word 00:02:27.360 --> 00:02:30.729 means power under control. I'm power under control 00:02:30.729 --> 00:02:33.409 and humble of heart. That word means vulnerable, 00:02:33.669 --> 00:02:38.150 approachable, nonjudgmental. And you will find 00:02:38.150 --> 00:02:42.310 rest for your souls. Have you ever just wondered 00:02:42.310 --> 00:02:45.590 what it'd be like to have rest for your soul? 00:02:46.090 --> 00:02:49.870 To be clean, to be forgiven, to have the God 00:02:49.870 --> 00:02:51.849 of the universe put his arm around you and say, 00:02:51.930 --> 00:02:55.210 I love you just how you are. And in ways that 00:02:55.210 --> 00:02:57.650 you can take a little at a time, I'll teach you 00:02:57.650 --> 00:03:00.789 and love you. and help you become all that I 00:03:00.789 --> 00:03:03.409 designed you to be. Notice how it ends. For my 00:03:03.409 --> 00:03:06.110 yoke is easy and my burden is light. See, a lot 00:03:06.110 --> 00:03:09.050 of us grew up with a view of God and God's got 00:03:09.050 --> 00:03:10.990 his arms crossed and he's got his finger out. 00:03:11.449 --> 00:03:12.990 You better get with it. There's a lot of rules 00:03:12.990 --> 00:03:14.289 to keep. You're not keeping the rules. You better 00:03:14.289 --> 00:03:15.469 do this. You better do that. You better do this. 00:03:15.509 --> 00:03:18.129 You better do that. And our view of God is so 00:03:18.129 --> 00:03:21.849 distorted. The God of the Bible has arms open. 00:03:22.150 --> 00:03:26.199 Come. See, it's the offer of relationship. And 00:03:26.199 --> 00:03:27.860 he's saying to you, I'm standing at the door 00:03:27.860 --> 00:03:29.659 of your life. I don't care where you've been. 00:03:29.800 --> 00:03:32.139 I don't care the sin that's so grievous to your 00:03:32.139 --> 00:03:34.939 heart and you feel so guilty. I've come. And 00:03:34.939 --> 00:03:37.939 when I died on the cross, I paid for it. Come 00:03:37.939 --> 00:03:40.659 to me. If you don't have a relationship with 00:03:40.659 --> 00:03:43.500 Christ, if you're not 100 % sure that if you 00:03:43.500 --> 00:03:45.780 died, because it's going to happen to all of 00:03:45.780 --> 00:03:49.080 us sometime somewhere, Jesus is inviting you. 00:03:49.400 --> 00:03:53.000 I'd like to solve your loneliness problem. I'd 00:03:53.000 --> 00:03:55.689 like to forgive you. The moment you pray and 00:03:55.689 --> 00:03:57.729 say, Lord Jesus, come into my life. I believe 00:03:57.729 --> 00:03:59.789 when you died on the cross, it was for me and 00:03:59.789 --> 00:04:02.590 my sins are forgiven. The moment you pray and 00:04:02.590 --> 00:04:04.750 receive him as your savior, the Holy Spirit will 00:04:04.750 --> 00:04:07.210 come into your life. The Bible says you'll be 00:04:07.210 --> 00:04:09.610 sealed in the spirit. You'll be adopted as one 00:04:09.610 --> 00:04:12.949 of his sons or daughters. You'll have power over 00:04:12.949 --> 00:04:17.050 sin. You'll still struggle. You'll have freedom 00:04:17.050 --> 00:04:19.769 from the penalty of sin. You'll have new relationships. 00:04:19.949 --> 00:04:23.069 You will move into a whole new arena. Will it 00:04:23.069 --> 00:04:25.889 be easy? Oh, of course not. But is your life 00:04:25.889 --> 00:04:29.550 easy now? Mine's not. But you can go through 00:04:29.550 --> 00:04:33.069 it with someone. So, well, we've solved it, haven't 00:04:33.069 --> 00:04:35.930 we? Aren't you glad you came? Well, we have. 00:04:37.189 --> 00:04:39.170 You don't have to be lonely. God cares, right? 00:04:39.310 --> 00:04:40.790 He's all -knowing, all -powerful, and He loves 00:04:40.790 --> 00:04:43.689 you. Jesus understands your loneliness, so if 00:04:43.689 --> 00:04:45.910 you talk to Him at any time, I mean, His heart 00:04:45.910 --> 00:04:48.949 will break with your hurt. He invites you into 00:04:48.949 --> 00:04:51.930 a relationship if you haven't. And finally, once 00:04:51.930 --> 00:04:54.689 you're in relationship with him, you belong to 00:04:54.689 --> 00:04:57.230 one another. And so since you belong, everything's 00:04:57.230 --> 00:04:59.949 great, right? Gosh, we're done pretty early. 00:05:01.889 --> 00:05:05.329 Doesn't work quite like that, does it? See, the 00:05:05.329 --> 00:05:10.089 fact of the matter is, there's a lot of us that 00:05:10.089 --> 00:05:21.529 belong. We're born again. We know Christ. plexiglass 00:05:21.529 --> 00:05:24.730 box around you and you're on the outside looking 00:05:24.730 --> 00:05:28.529 in. And in your heart of hearts you don't feel 00:05:28.529 --> 00:05:31.329 like anyone really cares. And you don't feel 00:05:31.329 --> 00:05:34.670 deeply connected. And it may be true of you that 00:05:34.670 --> 00:05:36.610 you know God and it may be true of you that you 00:05:36.610 --> 00:05:43.209 belong but you don't feel it. So let me let me 00:05:43.209 --> 00:05:48.310 take some time and see if we can't discuss and 00:05:48.310 --> 00:05:54.370 discover how Can you experience authentic love 00:05:54.370 --> 00:05:57.310 and real connection in the body of Christ? How 00:05:57.310 --> 00:06:00.449 does that work? Let me give you a quick picture 00:06:00.449 --> 00:06:03.810 that might help you at least register intellectually 00:06:03.810 --> 00:06:05.670 with what I'm talking about. Many of us have 00:06:05.670 --> 00:06:07.189 had this problem of getting in shape, right? 00:06:07.810 --> 00:06:09.970 We all want to be in shape, at least to some. 00:06:10.709 --> 00:06:13.350 Sometimes the doctors say get in shape. It motivates 00:06:13.350 --> 00:06:15.430 us. And other times around Christmas, someone 00:06:15.430 --> 00:06:17.290 buys us, you know, one of those little coupons 00:06:17.290 --> 00:06:20.009 to go to a gym or to a spa. Or sometimes we get 00:06:20.009 --> 00:06:22.730 motivated and buy. But whatever it is, whether 00:06:22.730 --> 00:06:25.110 someone else bought it or you bought it, you 00:06:25.110 --> 00:06:27.709 can sign up to go to one of the area gyms or 00:06:27.709 --> 00:06:30.550 one of the spas. Or you can even buy a treadmill 00:06:30.550 --> 00:06:33.829 and put it in one of the back bedrooms. And the 00:06:33.829 --> 00:06:38.509 moment you sign up for the gym or for the spa, 00:06:38.689 --> 00:06:42.839 what? your problem with getting in shape is solved. 00:06:43.379 --> 00:06:46.540 Isn't it? All the machines that you need to get 00:06:46.540 --> 00:06:48.959 in shape are available. And when you go there, 00:06:49.019 --> 00:06:50.620 they'll talk about nutrition and they'll talk 00:06:50.620 --> 00:06:52.220 about habits and they'll talk about lifestyle 00:06:52.220 --> 00:06:54.240 and they'll even pinch you and tell you your 00:06:54.240 --> 00:06:57.439 body weight, fat, and all that stuff, right? 00:06:57.699 --> 00:07:00.459 And they'll tell you which exercises you're in. 00:07:02.779 --> 00:07:10.360 Now, help me with this. However, If you sign 00:07:10.360 --> 00:07:14.740 on the dotted line and you're a member of the 00:07:14.740 --> 00:07:17.399 spa or the gym, you have positional membership, 00:07:17.620 --> 00:07:29.279 but you never go. How in shape do you get? Zippo. 00:07:30.459 --> 00:07:38.709 Nada. Flaborine. Right? High cholesterol. It's 00:07:38.709 --> 00:07:41.310 the same in the body of Christ. You can be a 00:07:41.310 --> 00:07:44.550 positional member. You're saved. You know Christ. 00:07:44.829 --> 00:07:47.290 You're forgiven. You're in the family. You belong 00:07:47.290 --> 00:07:50.449 to other believers. But a positional member is 00:07:50.449 --> 00:07:56.970 very different than a practicing member. A participating 00:07:56.970 --> 00:08:01.290 member. There are very few benefits. It's like 00:08:01.290 --> 00:08:03.110 the kid who might live in your house, and this 00:08:03.110 --> 00:08:05.959 isn't hopefully happening anywhere. It's like 00:08:05.959 --> 00:08:08.160 living in a house and all the fun's around the 00:08:08.160 --> 00:08:10.220 dining room table and people are eating and laughing 00:08:10.220 --> 00:08:12.180 and having fun and giving high fives and even 00:08:12.180 --> 00:08:14.620 having a good few healthy arguments. You can 00:08:14.620 --> 00:08:16.160 live in that house, but if you stay in your room 00:08:16.160 --> 00:08:21.680 all the time, you don't get it. See, I believe 00:08:21.680 --> 00:08:24.899 it is the state of scores of people in this room 00:08:24.899 --> 00:08:29.100 and all over the world. People are positional 00:08:29.100 --> 00:08:35.299 members, but you know, They're not practicing 00:08:35.299 --> 00:08:39.000 members. And until you are a participating member 00:08:39.000 --> 00:08:43.460 of the body of Christ, guess what? You're lonely. 00:08:44.460 --> 00:08:46.679 Are you lonely because God doesn't care? Nope. 00:08:47.460 --> 00:08:49.500 Are you lonely because Jesus doesn't understand 00:08:49.500 --> 00:08:52.480 your pain? Nope. Are you lonely because he hasn't 00:08:52.480 --> 00:08:55.559 invited you into relationship with him to solve 00:08:55.559 --> 00:08:58.120 the problem? Nope. Are you lonely because no 00:08:58.120 --> 00:09:00.159 one cares, there's no place to belong? Nope. 00:09:00.620 --> 00:09:03.519 What are you lonely? You're lonely for two reasons. 00:09:03.639 --> 00:09:05.600 One, I believe you have a distorted view of the 00:09:05.600 --> 00:09:08.419 church. And two, you have a distorted view of 00:09:08.419 --> 00:09:10.580 relationships. And so in the time remaining, 00:09:10.679 --> 00:09:12.980 here's what I want to do. I want to help you 00:09:12.980 --> 00:09:15.580 break out of your loneliness and isolation by 00:09:15.580 --> 00:09:19.940 rethinking your view of the church and by revising 00:09:19.940 --> 00:09:22.879 your approach to relationships. First, rethinking 00:09:22.879 --> 00:09:24.659 your view of the church. Many people think of 00:09:24.659 --> 00:09:28.509 the church as an institution. It's buildings. 00:09:28.809 --> 00:09:31.909 It's programs. It's structure. It's this idea 00:09:31.909 --> 00:09:34.309 of them. In fact, when I meet you out at the 00:09:34.309 --> 00:09:36.070 mall or when I'm running around, when you tell 00:09:36.070 --> 00:09:39.730 me I go to your church, you're telling me that 00:09:39.730 --> 00:09:43.629 you think church is a them and you're a we. So 00:09:43.629 --> 00:09:47.370 you don't feel a part. The church is not an institution. 00:09:48.129 --> 00:09:52.230 The church is a community. Community is where 00:09:52.230 --> 00:09:54.970 you have involvement, sharing, relationships, 00:09:55.049 --> 00:09:58.360 and connection. See, the church is not an event 00:09:58.360 --> 00:10:02.460 to attend. Like, I'm going to the theater. It's 00:10:02.460 --> 00:10:03.820 Saturday night or Sunday morning. Let's go to 00:10:03.820 --> 00:10:06.740 the church. It's a place to attend. Hope the 00:10:06.740 --> 00:10:09.860 music's good. Hope Chip has a good day, you know. 00:10:10.159 --> 00:10:13.460 I'm going to the church, an event. That's not 00:10:13.460 --> 00:10:19.139 the church. The church is a place to belong. 00:10:19.340 --> 00:10:22.919 It's a family. It's us. It's in relationships. 00:10:24.090 --> 00:10:26.850 And until you rethink how you think about the 00:10:26.850 --> 00:10:29.429 church, you're going to be lonely. And there's 00:10:29.429 --> 00:10:33.289 steak dinners spiritually on the table and starving 00:10:33.289 --> 00:10:36.909 people, and that doesn't make sense to God. You're 00:10:36.909 --> 00:10:39.610 listening to Living on the Edge. More from Chip 00:10:39.610 --> 00:10:42.230 Ingram in just a moment. But first, if today's 00:10:42.230 --> 00:10:44.690 teaching is resonating with you, don't keep it 00:10:44.690 --> 00:10:47.070 to yourself. You can easily share this message 00:10:47.070 --> 00:10:50.309 with friends and family by visiting livingontheedge 00:10:50.309 --> 00:10:53.600 .org. There you'll find not only today's program, 00:10:53.840 --> 00:10:56.159 but an entire collection of biblical resources 00:10:56.159 --> 00:10:58.340 designed to help you experience breakthrough 00:10:58.340 --> 00:11:01.740 in every area of life. It's all available at 00:11:01.740 --> 00:11:05.980 livingontheedge .org. Let's continue with Chip's 00:11:05.980 --> 00:11:08.360 message. Look at the early church, Acts chapter 00:11:08.360 --> 00:11:12.639 2. Just listen to it. Just listen to it and you 00:11:12.639 --> 00:11:15.840 tell me. You tell me if this sounds like an institution 00:11:15.840 --> 00:11:19.539 or an event to come to, to schedule in your planner. 00:11:20.519 --> 00:11:23.279 Or if this sounds more like life and relationships 00:11:23.279 --> 00:11:26.500 and involvement. Early church, they devoted themselves 00:11:26.500 --> 00:11:28.679 to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship and 00:11:28.679 --> 00:11:31.000 to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone 00:11:31.000 --> 00:11:34.440 was filled with awe and many wonders and miraculous 00:11:34.440 --> 00:11:37.440 signs were done by the apostles. All the believers 00:11:37.440 --> 00:11:43.059 were together and had everything in common. Koinonia, 00:11:43.259 --> 00:11:47.379 sharing, relationship, involvement. selling their 00:11:47.379 --> 00:11:49.460 possessions and goods they gave to anyone as 00:11:49.460 --> 00:11:50.919 they had need. That means they at least knew 00:11:50.919 --> 00:11:53.639 each other's names, didn't it? They cared about 00:11:53.639 --> 00:11:55.940 one another. They got out of their comfort zone. 00:11:56.279 --> 00:11:58.139 It wasn't any easier for them than it is for 00:11:58.139 --> 00:12:01.740 us. Every day they continued to meet together 00:12:01.740 --> 00:12:04.080 in the temple courts. They had large group worship, 00:12:04.220 --> 00:12:06.399 temple courts. They had instruction. They had 00:12:06.399 --> 00:12:08.700 celebration. They had worship. But in temple 00:12:08.700 --> 00:12:11.320 courts or on a Saturday night or a Sunday morning, 00:12:11.480 --> 00:12:14.500 you can't experience all God wants for the church. 00:12:15.049 --> 00:12:17.789 This is one function. But notice what happens 00:12:17.789 --> 00:12:20.149 after the temple courts. And they did it daily. 00:12:21.570 --> 00:12:23.350 Every day they continued to meet together in 00:12:23.350 --> 00:12:26.389 the temple courts. They broke bread. They had 00:12:26.389 --> 00:12:28.269 meals together. Shared the Lord's Supper where? 00:12:28.529 --> 00:12:32.929 In homes and ate together with glad and sincere 00:12:32.929 --> 00:12:37.509 hearts. You're kidding. You mean small groups 00:12:37.509 --> 00:12:39.929 isn't a new method that someone made up to help 00:12:39.929 --> 00:12:44.850 churches grow? No. No. You mean meeting at home, 00:12:44.909 --> 00:12:47.610 sharing meals isn't something that some seminar 00:12:47.610 --> 00:12:51.669 group came up with? No. It's actually right from 00:12:51.669 --> 00:12:55.470 the beginning. See, it's real life relationships. 00:12:55.649 --> 00:12:59.730 You worship here. You learn here. But life doesn't 00:12:59.730 --> 00:13:01.750 take on meaning until you sit down over a coffee 00:13:01.750 --> 00:13:04.470 table or you sit down around a fire at the beach 00:13:04.470 --> 00:13:07.230 or you go have some fun together and you look 00:13:07.230 --> 00:13:09.610 into someone else's eyes and those eyes say, 00:13:09.710 --> 00:13:13.700 you matter. Tell me your story. Tell me your 00:13:13.700 --> 00:13:16.899 struggle. Tell me where you're frustrated. Let 00:13:16.899 --> 00:13:18.700 us pray for you about the relationship that's 00:13:18.700 --> 00:13:21.360 not working in your life. Let's pray for your 00:13:21.360 --> 00:13:23.879 boss. Let's hang in there with your sick kid. 00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:26.460 Notice what happens when the church operates 00:13:26.460 --> 00:13:30.279 this way. Verse 47, they're praising God and 00:13:30.279 --> 00:13:32.639 enjoying the favor of all the people, believers 00:13:32.639 --> 00:13:34.740 and unbelievers, and the Lord added to their 00:13:34.740 --> 00:13:38.799 number daily those who are being saved. Everybody 00:13:38.799 --> 00:13:42.850 needs somebody. That cares about you as you. 00:13:44.830 --> 00:13:51.330 And I know, I know. But Chip, I don't do relationships 00:13:51.330 --> 00:13:55.789 well. I tried one of those groups you're talking 00:13:55.789 --> 00:13:58.330 about in a church. And you should have seen the 00:13:58.330 --> 00:14:01.450 wacko who led that group. Or I shared something 00:14:01.450 --> 00:14:03.070 in one of those groups and then I heard about 00:14:03.070 --> 00:14:06.730 it from someone else two weeks later. I've been 00:14:06.730 --> 00:14:11.629 burned. I've been hurt. I've been rejected. I've 00:14:11.629 --> 00:14:14.389 been abandoned. No one really cares about me. 00:14:14.490 --> 00:14:16.330 No one would really want to enter into a relationship 00:14:16.330 --> 00:14:19.149 with me. So I've learned to keep acting in a 00:14:19.149 --> 00:14:21.889 way that makes that true. What you're saying 00:14:21.889 --> 00:14:25.129 sounds great, Chip. And with all these people 00:14:25.129 --> 00:14:27.289 here, when we laugh together, it seems, yeah. 00:14:28.830 --> 00:14:30.950 But when they play that last song and you walk 00:14:30.950 --> 00:14:35.769 out the doors, I feel like I'm alone again. How 00:14:35.769 --> 00:14:38.519 do you do relationships? Where you can start 00:14:38.519 --> 00:14:40.779 to break down these barriers and get connected 00:14:40.779 --> 00:14:43.500 in the body of Christ. Suggestion number one, 00:14:43.679 --> 00:14:47.360 realize your need. As long as it's an option, 00:14:47.480 --> 00:14:50.279 you won't do it. It's our pride that makes us 00:14:50.279 --> 00:14:51.779 think, you know, I don't really need other people. 00:14:52.080 --> 00:14:53.779 No, you just need to keep lying to yourself. 00:14:55.240 --> 00:14:57.779 There's no lone rangers. The Bible is clear that 00:14:57.779 --> 00:15:00.940 attachment is essential. Life was made. Listen, 00:15:01.139 --> 00:15:04.779 life was made for relationships. It can't even 00:15:04.779 --> 00:15:07.789 be just you and God. He didn't design it that 00:15:07.789 --> 00:15:11.669 way. Realize your need. Two, move toward others. 00:15:11.750 --> 00:15:13.389 Now, it's great when people move toward you. 00:15:14.289 --> 00:15:18.690 But for some of us, you see, we walk in and here's 00:15:18.690 --> 00:15:21.029 how we all think. See, you look happy. You look 00:15:21.029 --> 00:15:23.049 smiling. When everyone gets up and introduces 00:15:23.049 --> 00:15:24.669 and says hi, you know, I look around the room 00:15:24.669 --> 00:15:26.690 and everyone's got it together. And you're probably 00:15:26.690 --> 00:15:28.309 in a group and you're probably in a ministry 00:15:28.309 --> 00:15:30.789 and life's probably going great for you. But 00:15:30.789 --> 00:15:33.779 it's not for me. What you don't understand is 00:15:33.779 --> 00:15:36.039 65 to 70 % of all the people that you think that 00:15:36.039 --> 00:15:37.379 about, it's not true. They're struggling just 00:15:37.379 --> 00:15:40.379 like you are. They don't have it together. They're 00:15:40.379 --> 00:15:42.320 hurting and they're struggling. They need you 00:15:42.320 --> 00:15:44.639 to walk across an aisle, make a phone call, extend 00:15:44.639 --> 00:15:48.500 a hand, smile and say, how are you doing? And 00:15:48.500 --> 00:15:49.960 you're saying, well, no one's ever done that 00:15:49.960 --> 00:15:53.500 to me in this church. They haven't. And I've 00:15:53.500 --> 00:15:57.460 counted 52 weeks. No one's done that. Of course, 00:15:57.460 --> 00:15:59.539 you haven't done that to anyone else, have you? 00:16:00.580 --> 00:16:03.200 You got to move toward others. Scary? You bet. 00:16:04.419 --> 00:16:07.279 Can't be any worse than loneliness. Number three, 00:16:07.320 --> 00:16:10.200 be vulnerable. The word vulnerability literally 00:16:10.200 --> 00:16:16.200 means be open to attack. See, when I meet someone 00:16:16.200 --> 00:16:18.100 that either looks like they have it all together 00:16:18.100 --> 00:16:19.899 or projects they have it all together, you know 00:16:19.899 --> 00:16:22.000 what I've learned over the years? One, I'm too 00:16:22.000 --> 00:16:23.580 intimidated. I don't want to get around them. 00:16:23.620 --> 00:16:26.039 And two, I've been around the block to know they're 00:16:26.039 --> 00:16:27.980 either faking it or they're lying. So I don't 00:16:27.980 --> 00:16:30.870 want to be around them either. Right? Now, are 00:16:30.870 --> 00:16:33.590 you attracted to people that really, man, they 00:16:33.590 --> 00:16:36.809 really got it. I'm not. But the moment someone 00:16:36.809 --> 00:16:39.330 shares a hurt, the moment someone shares a struggle, 00:16:39.409 --> 00:16:40.990 the moment someone peels a little bit of the 00:16:40.990 --> 00:16:43.190 mask off and lets me know what's going on inside, 00:16:43.450 --> 00:16:45.610 I'm immediately attracted to them. You know why? 00:16:45.809 --> 00:16:47.789 Because, oh, good, they're like me. Insecure, 00:16:47.809 --> 00:16:49.970 struggling, temptation, all kind of problems. 00:16:50.850 --> 00:16:52.610 And I need help with them. And I don't know, 00:16:52.649 --> 00:16:55.350 I just feel comfortable. Is it scary? Yes, but 00:16:55.350 --> 00:16:59.110 be vulnerable. Do it wisely. Open up a little 00:16:59.110 --> 00:17:02.120 at a time. Make sure how people respond. Don't 00:17:02.120 --> 00:17:06.319 do it with everyone. But take some steps. Fourth, 00:17:06.420 --> 00:17:09.119 channel distorted thinking. No one likes you. 00:17:09.220 --> 00:17:11.579 They'll abandon you. It'll be just like last 00:17:11.579 --> 00:17:14.400 time. You keep those running and you're right. 00:17:14.519 --> 00:17:17.579 Nothing will change. Challenge those. Fifth, 00:17:17.720 --> 00:17:21.240 take risks. Step out. Extend a hand. Join a group. 00:17:23.160 --> 00:17:28.180 Reach out to someone. Take a risk. Sixth, be 00:17:28.180 --> 00:17:31.910 empathetic. Identify with others' hurts. If you 00:17:31.910 --> 00:17:34.049 can get other -centered and listen, listen, listen. 00:17:34.410 --> 00:17:37.390 Start, I have never found a person who's a great 00:17:37.390 --> 00:17:39.750 listener that doesn't have tons of friends. You 00:17:39.750 --> 00:17:43.529 know why? Who do people love to talk about more 00:17:43.529 --> 00:17:47.029 than anyone else in the whole world? Ourselves. 00:17:48.040 --> 00:17:50.000 Do you realize what great friends you can have 00:17:50.000 --> 00:17:52.000 and say, where are you from? Well, do you have 00:17:52.000 --> 00:17:54.640 any children? What part of the country? How's 00:17:54.640 --> 00:17:56.720 that going? What's the biggest struggle you have 00:17:56.720 --> 00:17:58.799 in work? Boy, that must be very difficult. How 00:17:58.799 --> 00:18:01.220 do you manage that? You just keep asking questions 00:18:01.220 --> 00:18:03.819 and listen, listen, listen. You know what? They 00:18:03.819 --> 00:18:08.000 walk away thinking, man, what a nice guy. Right? 00:18:08.440 --> 00:18:11.160 And then out of sheer politeness, they might 00:18:11.160 --> 00:18:12.500 try something like, you know, I've been talking 00:18:12.500 --> 00:18:15.400 for 20 minutes. How are you? And where are you 00:18:15.400 --> 00:18:17.460 from? And you're thinking, this works. I love 00:18:17.460 --> 00:18:23.400 it. Finally, pray. Trust God. Pray, pray, pray. 00:18:24.259 --> 00:18:26.079 Every time you come to a crossroads and you think, 00:18:26.099 --> 00:18:27.460 I want to take a step toward this person, I'm 00:18:27.460 --> 00:18:28.759 afraid, I'm afraid, I can't do it. And God will 00:18:28.759 --> 00:18:29.940 say, that's right, you can't, but I can with 00:18:29.940 --> 00:18:32.220 you. Okay, I'll do it. Pray, pray, pray. Trust 00:18:32.220 --> 00:18:37.259 God. How does connecting occur? The first, smile. 00:18:38.819 --> 00:18:40.960 It's amazing. Just when you smile at someone. 00:18:42.099 --> 00:18:46.829 Two, extend a hand. Hi, my name is. I've been 00:18:46.829 --> 00:18:50.589 coming so -and -so. Three, for three minutes, 00:18:50.710 --> 00:18:53.569 I want you to talk with someone you don't know. 00:18:54.210 --> 00:18:56.190 You know what we do, those of us who feel connected? 00:18:56.470 --> 00:18:59.069 We come here, smile, think everyone's okay. And, 00:18:59.130 --> 00:19:01.029 you know, I think, great, Marty, how you doing? 00:19:01.049 --> 00:19:03.210 I know Marty. Hey, Sue, how's it going? I know 00:19:03.210 --> 00:19:05.329 Sue. Hey, Gordon. Hey, man, how's it going? Tell 00:19:05.329 --> 00:19:08.549 me about it. And so we all, we know each other. 00:19:08.589 --> 00:19:10.390 We talk to each other. And all the people who 00:19:10.390 --> 00:19:12.650 are not connected walk in, walk out, walk in 00:19:12.650 --> 00:19:14.660 for three minutes. Don't talk to anybody you 00:19:14.660 --> 00:19:20.599 know. Fourth, help out. The quickest way to get 00:19:20.599 --> 00:19:22.900 connected is people are desperate for help. You 00:19:22.900 --> 00:19:24.359 want help in the kitchen? I'll help out. Need 00:19:24.359 --> 00:19:26.420 help with those kids? I'll help out. Hey, shaking 00:19:26.420 --> 00:19:29.339 hands, giving out bulletins? I'll help out. You 00:19:29.339 --> 00:19:30.720 need help putting these chairs up? I'll help 00:19:30.720 --> 00:19:35.000 out. What happens? You forge relationships. The 00:19:35.000 --> 00:19:39.359 summary to lick, loneliness, you got to write 00:19:39.359 --> 00:19:43.480 in the word, belong. You got to belong. You see, 00:19:43.500 --> 00:19:46.279 it's these informal steps plus formal strategies 00:19:46.279 --> 00:19:50.619 that will produce a connected community of love. 00:19:52.940 --> 00:19:55.619 This is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. 00:19:55.799 --> 00:19:58.619 Today, Chip gave us practical, actionable steps 00:19:58.619 --> 00:20:01.460 to move from isolation into genuine community. 00:20:01.900 --> 00:20:04.839 It starts with something as simple as a smile, 00:20:05.039 --> 00:20:07.640 a handshake, three minutes of conversation with 00:20:07.640 --> 00:20:10.460 someone new. Chip will be back in just a moment 00:20:10.460 --> 00:20:13.750 with one final challenge. As we continue this 00:20:13.750 --> 00:20:16.289 series on experiencing breakthrough, you might 00:20:16.289 --> 00:20:18.750 be realizing you need to build a stronger spiritual 00:20:18.750 --> 00:20:21.730 foundation. That's exactly why we're offering 00:20:21.730 --> 00:20:24.509 Chip's free online devotional, Psalms of Hope. 00:20:24.809 --> 00:20:27.309 Here's what makes this resource different. Chip 00:20:27.309 --> 00:20:30.170 doesn't just explain the Psalms to you. He teaches 00:20:30.170 --> 00:20:32.690 you how to study them for yourself. Each day 00:20:32.690 --> 00:20:35.130 for 10 days, you'll spend 10 minutes learning 00:20:35.130 --> 00:20:37.470 from Chip, then 10 minutes applying what you've 00:20:37.470 --> 00:20:40.029 learned through prayer and meditation. You'll 00:20:40.029 --> 00:20:43.029 journey through Psalm 1, Psalm 15, and Psalm 00:20:43.029 --> 00:20:46.789 23, passages that speak directly to finding stability, 00:20:47.190 --> 00:20:50.029 experiencing God's presence, and building authentic 00:20:50.029 --> 00:20:53.009 relationships. This isn't about adding another 00:20:53.009 --> 00:20:55.569 obligation to your schedule. It's about creating 00:20:55.569 --> 00:20:58.049 a daily rhythm of connecting with God that can 00:20:58.049 --> 00:21:00.970 transform your entire life. And it's completely 00:21:00.970 --> 00:21:05.769 free, online at livingontheedge .org. Just search 00:21:05.769 --> 00:21:09.730 for Psalms of Hope. Now, creating resources like 00:21:09.730 --> 00:21:12.210 this takes financial investment. When you give 00:21:12.210 --> 00:21:14.190 to Living on the Edge, you're not just supporting 00:21:14.190 --> 00:21:16.730 a radio program. You're helping people around 00:21:16.730 --> 00:21:19.210 the world discover what it means to truly walk 00:21:19.210 --> 00:21:22.029 with God. If this ministry is making a difference 00:21:22.029 --> 00:21:25.250 in your life, please consider giving today. Visit 00:21:25.250 --> 00:21:28.549 livingontheedge .org to give or write to Living 00:21:28.549 --> 00:21:32.509 on the Edge, P .O. Box 3007, Atlanta, Georgia, 00:21:32.789 --> 00:21:40.640 30024. You can also call 888 - Don't miss the 00:21:40.640 --> 00:21:43.180 Chip Ingram Sermon Podcast, a new feature on 00:21:43.180 --> 00:21:45.740 the Living on the Edge podcast. Every sermon, 00:21:45.839 --> 00:21:48.700 complete and unedited, now available alongside 00:21:48.700 --> 00:21:51.759 our daily broadcasts. Subscribe to the Living 00:21:51.759 --> 00:21:54.940 on the Edge podcast today. Well, now here's Chip 00:21:54.940 --> 00:21:57.759 with a final thought. As we wrap up today's program, 00:21:57.960 --> 00:22:01.240 I'd like to ask you a personal question. Do you 00:22:01.240 --> 00:22:04.119 feel loved? Are you in an authentic community? 00:22:05.119 --> 00:22:07.779 Do you struggle with loneliness? And if so, are 00:22:07.779 --> 00:22:10.480 you really willing to let God love you? Are you 00:22:10.480 --> 00:22:13.339 willing to let Him cause a breakthrough? You 00:22:13.339 --> 00:22:15.140 know, there's a lot of us in our times of loneliness. 00:22:15.180 --> 00:22:17.640 We cry out to God. We feel depressed. We feel 00:22:17.640 --> 00:22:21.140 discouraged. And God says He wants to have us 00:22:21.140 --> 00:22:24.000 experience authentic love and connection with 00:22:24.000 --> 00:22:27.319 His family. But it's not all His job. We have 00:22:27.319 --> 00:22:30.150 a part. So let me ask you some penetrating questions, 00:22:30.309 --> 00:22:32.589 and then I want to review some of those steps 00:22:32.589 --> 00:22:35.710 about how to build authentic relationships. But 00:22:35.710 --> 00:22:38.289 the first question is, how do you view the church? 00:22:38.529 --> 00:22:40.569 Is it just something where you show up and say, 00:22:40.609 --> 00:22:42.730 yeah, I'm putting in my time, and you go now 00:22:42.730 --> 00:22:45.289 and then? Or are you like some of us, are you 00:22:45.289 --> 00:22:47.170 in that season where you've given up on the institutional 00:22:47.170 --> 00:22:49.549 church? You know, you've seen the hypocrisy, 00:22:49.589 --> 00:22:51.329 you've done the nine yards, and you said, forget 00:22:51.329 --> 00:22:53.880 church. I want to tell you something. There are 00:22:53.880 --> 00:22:56.519 some churches that are not doing it well. I'm 00:22:56.519 --> 00:22:59.740 a pastor. I can say that. I admit that. But you've 00:22:59.740 --> 00:23:02.000 got to know God has great churches out there. 00:23:02.160 --> 00:23:04.640 He's got a great church near you where people 00:23:04.640 --> 00:23:06.880 are authentic, but you've got to go look. The 00:23:06.880 --> 00:23:10.259 second thing is it's not an event. It's a family 00:23:10.259 --> 00:23:12.299 that you belong to, and that means that, you 00:23:12.299 --> 00:23:14.000 know, people are going to have their struggles, 00:23:14.039 --> 00:23:17.559 but guess what? You have your struggles, so be 00:23:17.559 --> 00:23:19.660 a little kinder. Have a little more tolerance 00:23:19.660 --> 00:23:21.579 with people in the church when they blow it. 00:23:22.039 --> 00:23:24.759 Because you're going to blow it too. Now let's 00:23:24.759 --> 00:23:27.559 talk about your part. How do you build authentic 00:23:27.559 --> 00:23:29.960 relationships? I went over these and I went pretty 00:23:29.960 --> 00:23:32.140 quickly. So if you have a pen or pencil, you 00:23:32.140 --> 00:23:34.099 might want to jot these down. And then I'm going 00:23:34.099 --> 00:23:36.579 to ask you, once you jot these down, I want you 00:23:36.579 --> 00:23:38.920 to pick one point and put it into action today. 00:23:39.099 --> 00:23:40.960 See, that's the key to experiencing God's grace. 00:23:41.160 --> 00:23:44.740 It's not knowing more, it's obeying. So how do 00:23:44.740 --> 00:23:47.380 you build authentic relationships? Number one, 00:23:47.539 --> 00:23:50.470 realize your need. Remember that one? Really 00:23:50.470 --> 00:23:53.329 accept you have a need for this. Number two, 00:23:53.589 --> 00:23:57.390 move toward others. Don't wait for a friend to 00:23:57.390 --> 00:24:00.329 come into your life. Go find someone and be a 00:24:00.329 --> 00:24:02.809 friend to them. Number three, this is tough, 00:24:03.009 --> 00:24:06.150 be vulnerable. You will get about as deep with 00:24:06.150 --> 00:24:08.509 others as you are willing to let them get with 00:24:08.509 --> 00:24:11.470 you. Take the first step. Share a little more 00:24:11.470 --> 00:24:14.069 significantly what's really going on. Number 00:24:14.069 --> 00:24:18.319 four, challenge your distorted thinking. No one 00:24:18.319 --> 00:24:20.079 likes me. I'm not worth anything. That's not 00:24:20.079 --> 00:24:22.400 true. When that comes up in your mind, you say, 00:24:22.460 --> 00:24:24.740 that's not true. That's not true. You challenge 00:24:24.740 --> 00:24:28.599 it. Number five, take risks. Yeah, that's you. 00:24:28.720 --> 00:24:32.039 Take some risks. Number six, be empathetic. You 00:24:32.039 --> 00:24:34.019 start listening, listening, listening to others, 00:24:34.119 --> 00:24:35.859 and you'll find everybody wants to be around 00:24:35.859 --> 00:24:39.140 you. And finally, number seven, trust God. Ask 00:24:39.140 --> 00:24:43.500 him for a friend. Pray, pray, pray. He'll answer. 00:24:44.299 --> 00:24:47.710 Feel stuck in a spiritual rut? I'm Dave Drewy, 00:24:47.710 --> 00:24:50.049 inviting you to discover how to break free tomorrow 00:24:50.049 --> 00:24:56.430 on Living on the Edge. Today's program is produced 00:24:56.430 --> 00:24:58.670 and sponsored by Living on the Edge.