WEBVTT 00:00:00.980 --> 00:00:04.599 This is the Chip Ingram Sermon Podcast, brought 00:00:04.599 --> 00:00:07.759 to you by Living on the Edge. In this podcast, 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:10.599 you'll hear Chip's teaching, unedited and from 00:00:10.599 --> 00:00:14.000 beginning to end. Here's Chip Ingram with a message 00:00:14.000 --> 00:00:16.960 titled, How to Overcome Loneliness and Isolation. 00:00:17.679 --> 00:00:21.179 Loneliness, isolation. Remember when you were 00:00:21.179 --> 00:00:22.780 four or five years old, it happened to all of 00:00:22.780 --> 00:00:25.519 us at least once. You looked up and your mom 00:00:25.519 --> 00:00:27.969 was gone. You were in the mall or the grocery 00:00:27.969 --> 00:00:31.170 store and that panic, that feeling that came 00:00:31.170 --> 00:00:33.890 over you, that's loneliness. Remember when you 00:00:33.890 --> 00:00:36.750 were 8, 9, maybe 10 and you went to a new school? 00:00:37.149 --> 00:00:40.149 You walked in and every head in that place turned 00:00:40.149 --> 00:00:44.009 toward you and you felt like an outsider. Remember 00:00:44.009 --> 00:00:46.250 the first gym class you ever went to in junior 00:00:46.250 --> 00:00:49.649 high? That terrible feeling of, are they really 00:00:49.649 --> 00:00:54.700 going to make us take showers? Do you remember 00:00:54.700 --> 00:00:57.100 when you hit those preteens for some or teens 00:00:57.100 --> 00:01:00.119 for others? And they can call it puppy love, 00:01:00.200 --> 00:01:02.299 but it wasn't to you. And your heart really got 00:01:02.299 --> 00:01:04.939 knit to a person of the opposite sex. And it 00:01:04.939 --> 00:01:08.459 was this overwhelming elation. And then do you, 00:01:08.459 --> 00:01:10.260 can you remember what it was like when you got 00:01:10.260 --> 00:01:14.379 dumped? How lonely, how hurt? It was a hurt like 00:01:14.379 --> 00:01:17.420 you've never known. For many, you still know. 00:01:17.459 --> 00:01:20.780 And for some of us. It's a memory of being single 00:01:20.780 --> 00:01:23.540 and yearning, coming home to an empty apartment 00:01:23.540 --> 00:01:27.739 and yearning for a life mate, yearning to eat 00:01:27.739 --> 00:01:30.640 dinner with someone. But there's no one there. 00:01:30.680 --> 00:01:33.700 And you've been asking God, but so far he hasn't 00:01:33.700 --> 00:01:37.859 provided that person. One author wrote, it's 00:01:37.859 --> 00:01:41.019 the most desolate word in all human language. 00:01:41.439 --> 00:01:44.760 It's capable of hurling the heaviest weights 00:01:44.760 --> 00:01:47.980 the heart can endure. It plays no favorites, 00:01:48.079 --> 00:01:52.859 yields no mercy, refuses all bargains. Crowds 00:01:52.859 --> 00:01:56.980 only make it worse. Activity simply drives it 00:01:56.980 --> 00:02:02.219 deeper. Tears fall from our eyes as groans fall 00:02:02.219 --> 00:02:07.540 from our lips. But loneliness, that uninvited 00:02:07.540 --> 00:02:11.500 guest of the soul, arrives at dusk and stays 00:02:11.500 --> 00:02:15.000 for dinner. When's the last time you felt like 00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:19.120 that? Was it this week? What era of your life 00:02:19.120 --> 00:02:22.520 brings back memories of the deepest sense of 00:02:22.520 --> 00:02:26.300 isolation and loneliness? And as you think here, 00:02:26.340 --> 00:02:29.659 just in the quiet of this moment, where and when 00:02:29.659 --> 00:02:33.960 do you feel the pangs of feeling like you don't 00:02:33.960 --> 00:02:37.460 belong, like no one cares, like you're not really 00:02:37.460 --> 00:02:42.240 connected right now? One final question. Why? 00:02:42.759 --> 00:02:46.469 Why do you think? Breaking down the barrier of 00:02:46.469 --> 00:02:50.469 loneliness and isolation is so critical to have 00:02:50.469 --> 00:02:53.909 a life that's full, a life of real meaning. Well, 00:02:53.949 --> 00:02:57.469 I'd invite you to join with me and we want to 00:02:57.469 --> 00:03:00.650 address this together. How to overcome loneliness 00:03:00.650 --> 00:03:05.500 and isolation. It's universal. Before we go too 00:03:05.500 --> 00:03:07.319 far, we better define what we're talking about 00:03:07.319 --> 00:03:11.419 because until loneliness is understood, it overwhelms. 00:03:11.439 --> 00:03:13.620 Some of us think that something's wrong with 00:03:13.620 --> 00:03:16.500 us, that there's this secret problem we have 00:03:16.500 --> 00:03:19.479 and no one really has it like we have it. There's 00:03:19.479 --> 00:03:22.080 three concepts when you study the idea of loneliness 00:03:22.080 --> 00:03:24.680 that are critical to understand before we find 00:03:24.680 --> 00:03:28.360 out what God's answer is. The first is that loneliness 00:03:28.360 --> 00:03:31.080 is more than being alone. If you look up the 00:03:31.080 --> 00:03:34.180 word in Webster's as I did. If you study and 00:03:34.180 --> 00:03:36.340 look at the Hebrew words translated for loneliness, 00:03:36.580 --> 00:03:38.520 as you look at the word loneliness in the New 00:03:38.520 --> 00:03:41.379 Testament, what you find is that there's a couple 00:03:41.379 --> 00:03:45.139 different ideas. One is an aloneness or a privateness. 00:03:45.159 --> 00:03:48.159 Jesus went to be alone. It's in a positive context. 00:03:48.539 --> 00:03:52.060 They were alone, no problem. But the kind of 00:03:52.060 --> 00:03:54.919 loneliness we're talking about is more than being 00:03:54.919 --> 00:03:59.099 alone. Webster described it as without involving 00:03:59.099 --> 00:04:03.710 others, separate. feelings of lonesomeness, desolate, 00:04:03.870 --> 00:04:08.150 a yearning for companionship, unfrequented, to 00:04:08.150 --> 00:04:11.610 be separated, to be disconnected. You can be 00:04:11.610 --> 00:04:14.289 lonely in a crowd thinking of this group and 00:04:14.289 --> 00:04:17.050 praying about what to share. You know, the loneliest 00:04:17.050 --> 00:04:19.569 feeling I've ever had in this church, I didn't 00:04:19.569 --> 00:04:22.089 know hardly anyone, and there weren't near as 00:04:22.089 --> 00:04:23.709 many people then, but there were hundreds of 00:04:23.709 --> 00:04:25.970 people this picnic, and they were laughing and 00:04:25.970 --> 00:04:28.149 throwing frisbees and having fun and having a 00:04:28.149 --> 00:04:30.879 great time, and I'm the new pastor. And I walked 00:04:30.879 --> 00:04:34.279 around all these faces that I didn't know. And 00:04:34.279 --> 00:04:38.439 I felt like I was in a glass box, like plexiglass, 00:04:38.600 --> 00:04:42.639 walking around. And I didn't belong. And I didn't 00:04:42.639 --> 00:04:45.899 fit. And I didn't know anyone. And people kind 00:04:45.899 --> 00:04:47.819 of came up and gave us sort of smiles and hi. 00:04:48.439 --> 00:04:51.000 And I just had this overwhelming feeling like 00:04:51.000 --> 00:04:53.860 I just wanted to run out of there. But I couldn't. 00:04:53.860 --> 00:04:59.639 I was the pastor. And I talked. And I did little 00:04:59.639 --> 00:05:02.879 superficial type stuff. But I didn't know anybody. 00:05:03.139 --> 00:05:05.139 I didn't connect with anyone. I was in a huge 00:05:05.139 --> 00:05:08.560 crowd where I was supposed to belong. But I didn't. 00:05:09.379 --> 00:05:12.399 I remember coming home from that picnic and being 00:05:12.399 --> 00:05:15.360 as depressed as I'd been since I'd been here. 00:05:15.839 --> 00:05:17.740 And you know the fact of the matter is there's 00:05:17.740 --> 00:05:21.319 people in this room right now. You had that experience 00:05:21.319 --> 00:05:24.079 when you come to church. You know you're a believer, 00:05:24.199 --> 00:05:25.980 but you feel like you're walking in a little 00:05:25.980 --> 00:05:29.240 glass box. And you get a smile here and a pleasantry 00:05:29.240 --> 00:05:31.720 here, but you're not connected. You don't feel 00:05:31.720 --> 00:05:33.459 like someone really cares. You don't feel like 00:05:33.459 --> 00:05:35.500 you really belong. You don't feel like if something 00:05:35.500 --> 00:05:37.819 happened to you, someone would bleed emotionally. 00:05:38.879 --> 00:05:41.899 You see, being alone is a lot more than just 00:05:41.899 --> 00:05:46.920 not having people around. It's not being relationally 00:05:46.920 --> 00:05:50.199 connected in a meaningful way. Well, you might 00:05:50.199 --> 00:05:51.660 say, well, you know what? I don't have that problem. 00:05:52.379 --> 00:05:54.620 Henry Cloud, in his book, Healings That Change, 00:05:54.839 --> 00:05:58.899 says there's eight to ten symptoms of loneliness 00:05:58.899 --> 00:06:01.620 that people don't identify with loneliness. But 00:06:01.620 --> 00:06:03.680 when we don't feel connected, we cover it up. 00:06:04.579 --> 00:06:08.540 He gave a few examples. He said often depression, 00:06:08.920 --> 00:06:12.339 feelings of meaninglessness, feelings of badness 00:06:12.339 --> 00:06:16.579 or guilt, a sense of distorted thinking, no one 00:06:16.579 --> 00:06:22.399 wants to be around me, addictions, fantasy. Excessive 00:06:22.399 --> 00:06:24.779 caretaking. Some of the loneliest people take 00:06:24.779 --> 00:06:27.000 care of everyone. You know why? Because they 00:06:27.000 --> 00:06:29.420 can't stand the fact that no one's really reaching 00:06:29.420 --> 00:06:32.300 into their life. And some of us have such distorted 00:06:32.300 --> 00:06:34.819 thinking, we don't think anybody wants to. And 00:06:34.819 --> 00:06:36.379 when we aren't connected to people, we feel bad 00:06:36.379 --> 00:06:38.740 because we assume the reason we're not connected 00:06:38.740 --> 00:06:42.040 is there must be something bad about us. If you 00:06:42.040 --> 00:06:44.800 feel pangs of loneliness, there's nothing wrong 00:06:44.800 --> 00:06:47.959 with you. There's nothing wrong with you. It 00:06:47.959 --> 00:06:50.980 means you're human. It means you have legitimate 00:06:50.980 --> 00:06:53.920 needs. It means God really wants to care about 00:06:53.920 --> 00:06:57.379 you. Loneliness is more than being alone, and 00:06:57.379 --> 00:07:01.160 loneliness wears many masks. We cover it up in 00:07:01.160 --> 00:07:04.579 a lot of different ways. Some people make a friend 00:07:04.579 --> 00:07:06.959 out of a bottle. Some people make a friend out 00:07:06.959 --> 00:07:10.319 of a pretend fantasy person. Some people make 00:07:10.319 --> 00:07:14.779 out a friend out of ESPN or romance novels. Loneliness 00:07:14.779 --> 00:07:18.399 wears many masks. Third thing you need to understand 00:07:18.399 --> 00:07:21.079 about loneliness, it's not a unique malady, but 00:07:21.079 --> 00:07:24.100 it is a universal reality. It's not something 00:07:24.100 --> 00:07:26.800 that only rich people have a problem with or 00:07:26.800 --> 00:07:29.319 poor people or outgoing people or shy people 00:07:29.319 --> 00:07:32.379 or very intellectual people or average people. 00:07:32.879 --> 00:07:35.560 In fact, my favorite quote in my research, Albert 00:07:35.560 --> 00:07:38.220 Einstein. You know what Albert Einstein said? 00:07:38.379 --> 00:07:43.720 He said, it is a strange phenomenon to be so 00:07:43.720 --> 00:07:49.500 universally known. And yet to be so lonely. See, 00:07:49.579 --> 00:07:51.779 we think people have it together because they're 00:07:51.779 --> 00:07:55.959 famous or wealthy or well -known or popular or 00:07:55.959 --> 00:07:58.319 have an outgoing personality or seem to have 00:07:58.319 --> 00:08:01.889 friends. Loneliness is a part of what I struggle 00:08:01.889 --> 00:08:05.269 with, you struggle with. Every person, every 00:08:05.269 --> 00:08:08.089 baby, every old person, every middle -aged person, 00:08:08.250 --> 00:08:10.990 every teenager, every black person, every white 00:08:10.990 --> 00:08:13.629 person, every Asian person, every Hispanic person, 00:08:13.730 --> 00:08:16.610 every person on the earth struggles with this 00:08:16.610 --> 00:08:20.399 ache, this sense that they don't matter. That 00:08:20.399 --> 00:08:22.639 they're isolated and that they're alone. In fact, 00:08:22.680 --> 00:08:25.420 this is the only problem I can find in Scripture 00:08:25.420 --> 00:08:29.459 that God alone has chosen not to solve by himself. 00:08:30.439 --> 00:08:33.419 You ever think of that? Genesis chapter 1, before 00:08:33.419 --> 00:08:36.240 sin entered into mankind, before there was a 00:08:36.240 --> 00:08:39.399 problem, perfect environment, here's Adam. It 00:08:39.399 --> 00:08:42.759 never rains. Plenty of food. He's never bored. 00:08:42.899 --> 00:08:45.919 He can talk to God whenever he wants. But did 00:08:45.919 --> 00:08:48.159 you notice there's a problem that God can't solve? 00:08:48.759 --> 00:08:50.779 Not that he couldn't if he didn't want to, but 00:08:50.779 --> 00:08:54.480 he made you and he made me to have this need 00:08:54.480 --> 00:08:57.740 to be connected meaningfully with other people. 00:08:58.279 --> 00:08:59.940 And so do you remember what he said when he saw 00:08:59.940 --> 00:09:05.620 Adam? It is not good for a man to be alone. See, 00:09:05.679 --> 00:09:07.940 loneliness isn't bad. It's not a permanent state, 00:09:08.080 --> 00:09:11.500 but it lets you know, it lets me know that life 00:09:11.500 --> 00:09:13.679 was meant for community, that life was meant 00:09:13.679 --> 00:09:16.200 for relationships, that life was meant for us 00:09:16.200 --> 00:09:20.289 to be together. And not in some superficial go 00:09:20.289 --> 00:09:22.549 through the motions, but to be together in such 00:09:22.549 --> 00:09:25.330 a way that things come out of your heart into 00:09:25.330 --> 00:09:28.070 the lives of others and things come out of their 00:09:28.070 --> 00:09:30.889 heart into yours in such a way that you matter 00:09:30.889 --> 00:09:33.730 and they matter. And God will do a lot of things 00:09:33.730 --> 00:09:35.610 for you in your life. He'll minister directly, 00:09:35.870 --> 00:09:38.210 directly. He gives grace. He gives his word. 00:09:38.409 --> 00:09:41.649 He gives his spirit. But there's some ways where 00:09:41.649 --> 00:09:43.929 the only way you experience God's love is not 00:09:43.929 --> 00:09:47.179 directly. It will be indirectly. It'll be through 00:09:47.179 --> 00:09:50.360 the touch of a person, through the words of a 00:09:50.360 --> 00:09:54.620 friend, through the prayers of a group. The question 00:09:54.620 --> 00:09:58.399 is, if we all have this need, if you can be lonely 00:09:58.399 --> 00:10:00.799 in a crowd, if it wears many masks and we all 00:10:00.799 --> 00:10:04.320 struggle with it, how in the world do we overcome 00:10:04.320 --> 00:10:08.299 loneliness and isolation? And I'm excited to 00:10:08.299 --> 00:10:11.120 tell you that God has a game plan. Let me give 00:10:11.120 --> 00:10:13.519 you four reasons why you don't have to be lonely. 00:10:13.580 --> 00:10:16.460 First, you don't have to be lonely because God 00:10:16.460 --> 00:10:20.879 cares about your loneliness. I mentioned it in 00:10:20.879 --> 00:10:24.519 passing. Genesis 2 .18, the Lord God said, it 00:10:24.519 --> 00:10:27.460 is not good for the man to be alone. I will make 00:10:27.460 --> 00:10:31.559 him a helper suitable for him. That word helper 00:10:31.559 --> 00:10:34.299 means corresponding partner. That word helper 00:10:34.299 --> 00:10:37.580 is actually used in the Psalms of God. He uses 00:10:37.580 --> 00:10:40.220 this word for himself. It means one who will 00:10:40.220 --> 00:10:42.980 complete, one who will provide companionship, 00:10:42.980 --> 00:10:46.059 someone who will make a team, someone who creates 00:10:46.059 --> 00:10:51.000 a place where you belong. God knows your deepest 00:10:51.000 --> 00:10:55.429 feelings of loneliness and he cares. He understands 00:10:55.429 --> 00:10:58.149 what you think when you lay awake at night with 00:10:58.149 --> 00:11:00.289 your hands behind your head. He knows what it's 00:11:00.289 --> 00:11:01.950 like when you take a walk on the beach and you 00:11:01.950 --> 00:11:04.070 feel like no one really understands. He knows 00:11:04.070 --> 00:11:06.090 what it's like to be a single mom or a single 00:11:06.090 --> 00:11:08.649 dad and to drop your kids off in visitation and 00:11:08.649 --> 00:11:10.789 get back in the car and feel this ache inside. 00:11:11.070 --> 00:11:13.169 He knows what it's like to be a teenager or a 00:11:13.169 --> 00:11:16.009 young person or a single person with this deep 00:11:16.009 --> 00:11:19.730 craving desire to be connected. And you're praying 00:11:19.730 --> 00:11:23.179 and it seems like nothing's happening. He cares 00:11:23.179 --> 00:11:25.980 about your loneliness. And can I suggest, He 00:11:25.980 --> 00:11:30.059 wants to solve it. Perfectly in this life? Never. 00:11:30.220 --> 00:11:34.600 It's not a perfect world. But He wants to move 00:11:34.600 --> 00:11:38.019 in. He cares. And He's all -knowing and He's 00:11:38.019 --> 00:11:40.620 all -powerful. And if He cares, then He can do 00:11:40.620 --> 00:11:43.340 something about it. Second reason that you don't 00:11:43.340 --> 00:11:44.940 have to be lonely and I don't have to be lonely 00:11:44.940 --> 00:11:48.519 is Jesus understands your loneliness. Mark 15. 00:11:49.230 --> 00:11:51.809 Verse 34, it says, and at the ninth hour, Jesus 00:11:51.809 --> 00:11:53.990 cried out in a loud voice. He's on the cross. 00:11:54.610 --> 00:11:57.549 Very end of the Gospels, end of his life. Eloi, 00:11:57.549 --> 00:12:00.450 Eloi, lama sabachthani, which means, my God, 00:12:00.570 --> 00:12:04.049 my God, why have you forsaken me? Now, there's 00:12:04.049 --> 00:12:05.990 some major theology going on here. If you ever 00:12:05.990 --> 00:12:07.629 wondered why Jesus said that, let me explain 00:12:07.629 --> 00:12:10.590 it. Before the foundations of the earth, God 00:12:10.590 --> 00:12:14.090 created you as a relational being. Before the 00:12:14.090 --> 00:12:17.240 foundations of the earth, he knew. That sin would 00:12:17.240 --> 00:12:20.200 enter the world and cause a division, a breakdown 00:12:20.200 --> 00:12:22.980 in relationship between God and man. Before the 00:12:22.980 --> 00:12:25.500 foundations of the earth, the Godhead, the triunity, 00:12:25.620 --> 00:12:27.539 God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, 00:12:27.639 --> 00:12:30.379 they had a council meeting. And they decided 00:12:30.379 --> 00:12:33.039 that God the Son would come and take on human 00:12:33.039 --> 00:12:35.860 flesh and be fully God, fully man, and live a 00:12:35.860 --> 00:12:39.139 perfect life on the earth so you would understand, 00:12:39.340 --> 00:12:42.460 so I would understand. what God's love is like, 00:12:42.500 --> 00:12:45.100 what his holiness is like, how he feels and how 00:12:45.100 --> 00:12:47.980 he thinks and how much you matter. And then at 00:12:47.980 --> 00:12:49.980 the end of his life, he would be the ultimate 00:12:49.980 --> 00:12:53.740 payment, totally sin free. He would hang on a 00:12:53.740 --> 00:12:57.059 cross and he would absorb the just wrath of God 00:12:57.059 --> 00:13:00.860 and the full penalty of your sin and my sin as 00:13:00.860 --> 00:13:03.899 our substitute, our sin offering. You might jot 00:13:03.899 --> 00:13:08.019 down 2 Corinthians 5, 21. It explains that. And 00:13:08.019 --> 00:13:11.659 as he hung on the cross, And God the Father willfully 00:13:11.659 --> 00:13:14.460 allowed his son to be the sacrifice who did nothing 00:13:14.460 --> 00:13:17.580 to deserve it, but took on your sin, my sin, 00:13:17.679 --> 00:13:20.240 the penalty and the guilt of it. And God poured 00:13:20.240 --> 00:13:23.440 out his wrath and placed that sin as a payment 00:13:23.440 --> 00:13:27.820 on Christ. When sin came upon the son, the father 00:13:27.820 --> 00:13:30.919 turned his head and turned away. And relationship 00:13:30.919 --> 00:13:34.940 was broken between a holy God and in that instantaneous 00:13:34.940 --> 00:13:38.100 moment when the son took on sin. And that's why 00:13:38.100 --> 00:13:42.159 Jesus prayed, my God, my God, we don't understand 00:13:42.159 --> 00:13:44.779 the pain there. We can't fathom the pain. You 00:13:44.779 --> 00:13:46.620 think you've been lonely? You think you've been 00:13:46.620 --> 00:13:49.759 abandoned? You think you've been let down? Jesus 00:13:49.759 --> 00:13:53.100 understands. He was abandoned, righteously so, 00:13:53.240 --> 00:13:56.299 by the Father. Where are the 12 disciples? They 00:13:56.299 --> 00:13:58.600 abandoned him. He came to his own, the Jews, 00:13:58.700 --> 00:14:00.980 and what? They received him not. They abandoned 00:14:00.980 --> 00:14:03.779 him. Jesus understands what it's like to be low. 00:14:04.330 --> 00:14:06.490 Hebrews 4 .15 says that we don't have a high 00:14:06.490 --> 00:14:08.470 priest that can't sympathize with our weaknesses. 00:14:08.710 --> 00:14:12.129 But he, like us, has been tempted in every way 00:14:12.129 --> 00:14:15.830 yet without sin. He understands what it's like 00:14:15.830 --> 00:14:19.090 to be frustrated in marriage and be lonely. Because 00:14:19.090 --> 00:14:21.389 he was married? No, because he was fully human 00:14:21.389 --> 00:14:24.250 and knows that ache. He understands what it's 00:14:24.250 --> 00:14:27.610 like to be unfulfilled. To feel like on the outside 00:14:27.610 --> 00:14:30.850 looking in. He understands everything that you 00:14:30.850 --> 00:14:33.470 feel in the realm of loneliness. God not only 00:14:33.470 --> 00:14:37.409 cares, but Jesus completely understands. Because 00:14:37.409 --> 00:14:40.250 he understands, there's a third reason we don't 00:14:40.250 --> 00:14:42.529 have to be lonely. The third reason is Jesus 00:14:42.529 --> 00:14:45.090 invites you into a relationship with him. This 00:14:45.090 --> 00:14:48.110 is a great passage. This passage is so different 00:14:48.110 --> 00:14:50.470 than all about what I learned of God growing 00:14:50.470 --> 00:14:53.490 up. Jesus in Matthew 11, 28 through 30 says, 00:14:53.669 --> 00:14:56.850 listen to this, arms open. Come, come to me. 00:14:57.650 --> 00:15:01.610 all who are weary and burdened, and I will give 00:15:01.610 --> 00:15:04.149 you rest. Doesn't loneliness make you feel that 00:15:04.149 --> 00:15:06.570 way sometimes? Don't you just feel weighed down? 00:15:07.070 --> 00:15:08.730 Isn't it amazing that when you feel connected 00:15:08.730 --> 00:15:10.690 with people, you feel like you can charge through 00:15:10.690 --> 00:15:13.230 a wall no matter what? But when you feel isolated 00:15:13.230 --> 00:15:15.470 and lonely, I don't know about you, but I've 00:15:15.470 --> 00:15:17.370 got no motivation. I just feel like I can't make 00:15:17.370 --> 00:15:20.669 it. So what's Jesus say? Come. You feel weary? 00:15:20.809 --> 00:15:23.450 Feel burdened? Feel like the weight of the world's 00:15:23.450 --> 00:15:26.570 on you? Come to me. I'll give you rest. Then 00:15:26.570 --> 00:15:30.610 notice the offer. Take my yoke upon you and learn 00:15:30.610 --> 00:15:32.649 from me. It says you've got a big load to pull 00:15:32.649 --> 00:15:36.090 in life. Would you like me to have a yoke and 00:15:36.090 --> 00:15:38.950 allow you to be hooked here and me to be hooked 00:15:38.950 --> 00:15:41.889 here? And would you like to go through life with 00:15:41.889 --> 00:15:45.129 me since I know all things, since I have unlimited 00:15:45.129 --> 00:15:48.210 resources, since I love you unconditionally, 00:15:48.389 --> 00:15:51.830 since I want to care about you and fulfill the 00:15:51.830 --> 00:15:54.169 deepest desires that I've placed in your heart? 00:15:54.649 --> 00:15:57.409 He says, come, take my yoke. And it's a process, 00:15:57.470 --> 00:15:59.350 isn't it? Learn from me. Why do we learn from 00:15:59.350 --> 00:16:01.669 him? Notice the two adjectives. I am gentle. 00:16:01.710 --> 00:16:04.629 The word means power under control. I'm power 00:16:04.629 --> 00:16:07.350 under control and humble of heart. That word 00:16:07.350 --> 00:16:11.110 means vulnerable, approachable, nonjudgmental. 00:16:11.529 --> 00:16:15.799 And you will find rest for your souls. Do you 00:16:15.799 --> 00:16:17.759 ever think maybe it's time to quit hustling and 00:16:17.759 --> 00:16:19.740 bustling and trying to impress people and look 00:16:19.740 --> 00:16:21.480 this way and get this way and get this and gain 00:16:21.480 --> 00:16:23.240 this and earn that and have this and do this 00:16:23.240 --> 00:16:26.620 and hope your kids have this? Have you ever just 00:16:26.620 --> 00:16:30.080 wondered what it'd be like to have rest for your 00:16:30.080 --> 00:16:34.500 soul? To be clean? To be forgiven? To have the 00:16:34.500 --> 00:16:36.440 God of the universe put his arm around you and 00:16:36.440 --> 00:16:39.789 say, I love you just how you are? And in ways 00:16:39.789 --> 00:16:42.149 that you can take a little at a time, I'll teach 00:16:42.149 --> 00:16:45.429 you and love you and help you become all that 00:16:45.429 --> 00:16:48.029 I designed you to be. Notice how it ends. For 00:16:48.029 --> 00:16:50.629 my yoke is easy and my burden is light. See, 00:16:50.690 --> 00:16:53.750 a lot of us grew up with a view of God and God's 00:16:53.750 --> 00:16:55.529 got his arms crossed and he's got his finger 00:16:55.529 --> 00:16:57.629 out. You better get with it. There's a lot of 00:16:57.629 --> 00:16:58.809 rules to keep. You're not keeping the rules. 00:16:58.909 --> 00:17:00.029 You better do this. You better do that. You better 00:17:00.029 --> 00:17:02.289 do this. You better do that. And our view of 00:17:02.289 --> 00:17:05.869 God is so distorted. The God of the Bible has 00:17:05.869 --> 00:17:09.109 arms open. Come. Do you have to surrender? Sure. 00:17:09.529 --> 00:17:11.529 Do you have to let up on your own agenda? Sure. 00:17:12.029 --> 00:17:13.910 But let me ask you, how are you doing running 00:17:13.910 --> 00:17:17.329 your life? Filled with anxiety? Struggling in 00:17:17.329 --> 00:17:19.910 relationships? No matter how much you get or 00:17:19.910 --> 00:17:22.670 how much I get, it never satisfies us? Wouldn't 00:17:22.670 --> 00:17:25.170 it be wise to come? And I don't know how this 00:17:25.170 --> 00:17:27.490 works, but even as I'm talking, a little light 00:17:27.490 --> 00:17:29.529 goes on inside your heart. The Holy Spirit's 00:17:29.529 --> 00:17:31.390 moving all throughout this room. And a little 00:17:31.390 --> 00:17:33.049 light's going on in some of you because he brought 00:17:33.049 --> 00:17:35.369 you here just for today because he wants to have 00:17:35.369 --> 00:17:39.339 a connection, a relationship. See, it's the offer 00:17:39.339 --> 00:17:42.500 of relationship. And he's saying to you, I'm 00:17:42.500 --> 00:17:44.400 standing at the door of your life. I don't care 00:17:44.400 --> 00:17:46.559 where you've been. I don't care what you've done. 00:17:46.720 --> 00:17:49.619 I don't care who you've hurt. I don't care the 00:17:49.619 --> 00:17:51.619 sin that's so grievous to your heart and you 00:17:51.619 --> 00:17:54.720 feel so guilty. I've come. And when I died on 00:17:54.720 --> 00:17:58.619 the cross, I paid for it. Come to me. If you 00:17:58.619 --> 00:18:00.480 don't have a relationship with Christ, if you're 00:18:00.480 --> 00:18:04.180 not 100 % sure that if you died, because it's 00:18:04.180 --> 00:18:05.799 going to happen to all of us sometime, somewhere. 00:18:06.839 --> 00:18:09.859 Jesus is inviting you. I'd like to solve your 00:18:09.859 --> 00:18:13.019 loneliness problem. I'd like to forgive you. 00:18:13.500 --> 00:18:15.799 The moment you pray and say, Lord Jesus, come 00:18:15.799 --> 00:18:17.619 into my life. I believe when you died on the 00:18:17.619 --> 00:18:19.920 cross, it was for me and my sins are forgiven. 00:18:20.259 --> 00:18:22.980 The moment you pray and receive him as your savior, 00:18:23.019 --> 00:18:25.640 the Holy Spirit will come into your life. He'll 00:18:25.640 --> 00:18:28.160 take up dwelling place. The Bible says you'll 00:18:28.160 --> 00:18:30.480 be sealed in the spirit. You'll be adopted as 00:18:30.480 --> 00:18:33.539 one of his sons or daughters. You'll have power 00:18:33.539 --> 00:18:37.049 over sin. You'll still struggle. You'll have 00:18:37.049 --> 00:18:40.009 freedom from the penalty of sin. You'll have 00:18:40.009 --> 00:18:42.410 new relationships. You will move into a whole 00:18:42.410 --> 00:18:45.369 new arena. Will it be easy? Oh, of course not. 00:18:45.930 --> 00:18:49.269 Live a holy, pure life in a fallen world with 00:18:49.269 --> 00:18:51.190 the flesh and the enemy? Of course it won't be 00:18:51.190 --> 00:18:54.869 easy. But is your life easy now? Mine's not. 00:18:55.210 --> 00:18:58.289 But you can go through it with someone. Look 00:18:58.289 --> 00:19:01.250 at 1 John. I want you to see this relationship 00:19:01.250 --> 00:19:03.869 between being in relationship with God and therefore 00:19:03.869 --> 00:19:06.049 in relationship with other believers. By the 00:19:06.049 --> 00:19:07.369 way, that's the theme of the book of 1 John. 00:19:08.990 --> 00:19:11.309 The apostle writes, that which was from the beginning, 00:19:11.369 --> 00:19:13.670 which we have heard, which we have seen with 00:19:13.670 --> 00:19:16.349 our eyes, speaking of Christ, which we have looked 00:19:16.349 --> 00:19:18.069 at and our hands have touched. He's saying this 00:19:18.069 --> 00:19:21.210 is real. This we proclaim concerning the word 00:19:21.210 --> 00:19:25.230 of life. The life appeared, Jesus. We have seen 00:19:25.230 --> 00:19:28.420 it and testify it. And we proclaim to you the 00:19:28.420 --> 00:19:30.940 eternal life which was with the Father and has 00:19:30.940 --> 00:19:32.960 appeared to us. The gospel. Great. Now get the 00:19:32.960 --> 00:19:36.339 next two verses. We proclaim to you that we have 00:19:36.339 --> 00:19:38.960 seen and we have heard. Notice the purpose clause. 00:19:39.259 --> 00:19:45.140 So that you also may have fellowship with us. 00:19:45.559 --> 00:19:48.440 I would have expected him to say what? So you 00:19:48.440 --> 00:19:50.380 can have fellowship with God. He doesn't say 00:19:50.380 --> 00:19:54.529 that. So you, we've proclaimed it. When we share 00:19:54.529 --> 00:19:56.369 the gospel, it's so people can have fellowship 00:19:56.369 --> 00:20:00.690 with us. Our fellowship is with the Father and 00:20:00.690 --> 00:20:06.170 with his Son, Christ Jesus. We write this to 00:20:06.170 --> 00:20:10.250 make our joy complete. Do you get that? Once 00:20:10.250 --> 00:20:13.950 you're related to God, you are now organically 00:20:13.950 --> 00:20:16.769 related to other believers all over the world. 00:20:18.410 --> 00:20:20.369 And have you picked this up yet? Have you figured 00:20:20.369 --> 00:20:24.670 this out about life? That joy is not a target 00:20:24.670 --> 00:20:28.089 or a thing that you can try to achieve, but that 00:20:28.089 --> 00:20:31.210 joy is a byproduct of relationships, period. 00:20:33.529 --> 00:20:36.730 You know, you ought to write that down, and if 00:20:36.730 --> 00:20:38.769 you learn that, it'll transform how you live 00:20:38.769 --> 00:20:40.920 life. See, there's a lot of people that think 00:20:40.920 --> 00:20:43.079 success will bring them joy, and then they're 00:20:43.079 --> 00:20:45.359 successful and it's empty. They think getting 00:20:45.359 --> 00:20:47.460 something, earning something, achieving something, 00:20:47.559 --> 00:20:49.940 being something, dressing a certain way, having 00:20:49.940 --> 00:20:52.660 a certain house, driving a certain car, they 00:20:52.660 --> 00:20:54.200 think it'll bring them joy. And what happens? 00:20:54.640 --> 00:20:58.380 It's like the old cat chasing its tail. You bite 00:20:58.380 --> 00:21:01.359 into it only to find out it certainly wasn't 00:21:01.359 --> 00:21:05.859 what you expected. See, joy is a byproduct of 00:21:05.859 --> 00:21:08.500 relationships with one another and with God. 00:21:09.759 --> 00:21:11.859 So, well, we've solved it, haven't we? Aren't 00:21:11.859 --> 00:21:16.299 you glad you came? Well, we have. You don't have 00:21:16.299 --> 00:21:18.420 to be lonely. God cares, right? He's all -knowing, 00:21:18.420 --> 00:21:20.680 all -powerful, and He loves you. Jesus understands 00:21:20.680 --> 00:21:23.039 your loneliness, so if you talk to Him at any 00:21:23.039 --> 00:21:25.539 time, I mean, His heart will break with your 00:21:25.539 --> 00:21:28.359 hurt. He invites you into a relationship if you 00:21:28.359 --> 00:21:31.019 haven't. And finally, once you're in relationship 00:21:31.019 --> 00:21:34.480 with Him, you belong to one another. And so since 00:21:34.480 --> 00:21:37.480 you belong, everything's great, right? Gosh, 00:21:37.640 --> 00:21:41.279 we're done pretty early. Doesn't work quite like 00:21:41.279 --> 00:21:44.720 that, does it? See, the fact of the matter is, 00:21:44.859 --> 00:21:51.559 there's a lot of us that belong. We're born again. 00:21:52.480 --> 00:21:56.279 We know Christ. But your experience in the body 00:21:56.279 --> 00:21:58.460 of Christ is like you live your life feeling 00:21:58.460 --> 00:22:01.640 like there's a plexiglass box around you and 00:22:01.640 --> 00:22:05.940 you're on the outside looking in. And in your 00:22:05.940 --> 00:22:07.640 heart of hearts, you don't feel like anyone really 00:22:07.640 --> 00:22:11.519 cares. And you don't feel deeply connected. And 00:22:11.519 --> 00:22:13.880 it may be true of you that you know God, and 00:22:13.880 --> 00:22:17.119 it may be true of you that you belong, but you 00:22:17.119 --> 00:22:23.960 don't feel it. So let me take some time and see 00:22:23.960 --> 00:22:29.039 if we can't discuss and discover how can you 00:22:29.039 --> 00:22:34.460 experience authentic love and real connection 00:22:34.460 --> 00:22:37.920 in the body of Christ. How does that work? Let 00:22:37.920 --> 00:22:40.000 me give you a quick picture that might help you 00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:42.819 at least register intellectually with what I'm 00:22:42.819 --> 00:22:44.720 talking about. Many of us have had this problem 00:22:44.720 --> 00:22:47.019 of getting in shape, right? We all want to be 00:22:47.019 --> 00:22:50.099 in shape, at least to some. Sometimes the doctors 00:22:50.099 --> 00:22:52.259 say get in shape and it motivates us. And other 00:22:52.259 --> 00:22:54.720 times around Christmas someone buys us, you know, 00:22:54.740 --> 00:22:56.819 one of those little coupons to go to a gym or 00:22:56.819 --> 00:22:59.180 to a spa. Sometimes we get motivated and buy. 00:22:59.980 --> 00:23:01.819 But whatever it is, whether someone else bought 00:23:01.819 --> 00:23:04.640 it or you bought it, you can sign up to go to 00:23:04.640 --> 00:23:08.259 one of the area gyms or one of the spas. Or you 00:23:08.259 --> 00:23:09.680 can even buy a treadmill and put it in one of 00:23:09.680 --> 00:23:13.380 the back bedrooms. And the moment you sign up 00:23:13.380 --> 00:23:19.259 for the gym or for the spa, what? Your problem 00:23:19.259 --> 00:23:23.380 with getting in shape is solved. Isn't it? All 00:23:23.380 --> 00:23:25.599 the machines that you need to get in shape are 00:23:25.599 --> 00:23:27.779 available. And when you go there, they'll talk 00:23:27.779 --> 00:23:29.640 about nutrition and they'll talk about habits 00:23:29.640 --> 00:23:31.440 and they'll talk about lifestyle. And they'll 00:23:31.440 --> 00:23:33.279 even pinch you and tell you your body weight, 00:23:33.339 --> 00:23:35.880 fat. Dup, dup, dup and all that stuff, right? 00:23:36.079 --> 00:23:38.900 And they'll tell you which exercises you're in. 00:23:41.160 --> 00:23:48.819 Now, help me with this. However, if you sign 00:23:48.819 --> 00:23:53.180 on the dotted line and you're a member of the 00:23:53.180 --> 00:23:55.839 spa or the gym, you have positional membership, 00:23:56.059 --> 00:24:07.700 but you never go. in shape do you get? Zippo. 00:24:08.960 --> 00:24:17.099 Nada. Flavorine. Right? High cholesterol. It's 00:24:17.099 --> 00:24:19.720 the same in the body of Christ. You can be a 00:24:19.720 --> 00:24:22.980 positional member. You're saved. You know Christ. 00:24:23.279 --> 00:24:25.740 You're forgiven. You're in the family. You belong 00:24:25.740 --> 00:24:28.900 to other believers. But a positional member is 00:24:28.900 --> 00:24:34.630 very different than a... practicing member. A 00:24:34.630 --> 00:24:38.490 participating member. There are very few benefits. 00:24:39.170 --> 00:24:41.250 It's like the kid who might live in your house, 00:24:41.329 --> 00:24:43.390 and this isn't hopefully happening anywhere, 00:24:43.670 --> 00:24:46.269 but it's like living in a house and all the fun's 00:24:46.269 --> 00:24:48.190 around the dining room table and people are eating 00:24:48.190 --> 00:24:50.410 and laughing and having fun and giving high fives 00:24:50.410 --> 00:24:51.950 and even having a good few healthy arguments. 00:24:52.529 --> 00:24:54.289 You can live in that house, but if you stay in 00:24:54.289 --> 00:24:59.710 your room all the time, you don't get it. See, 00:24:59.750 --> 00:25:02.680 I believe it is the state, of scores of people 00:25:02.680 --> 00:25:06.819 in this room and all over the world. People are 00:25:06.819 --> 00:25:13.140 positional members, but you know, they're not 00:25:13.140 --> 00:25:16.859 practicing members. And until you are a participating 00:25:16.859 --> 00:25:21.579 member of the body of Christ, guess what? You're 00:25:21.579 --> 00:25:24.779 lonely. Are you lonely because God doesn't care? 00:25:24.900 --> 00:25:27.980 Nope. Are you lonely because Jesus doesn't understand 00:25:27.980 --> 00:25:30.930 your pain? Nope. Are you lonely because he hasn't 00:25:30.930 --> 00:25:34.009 invited you into a relationship with him to solve 00:25:34.009 --> 00:25:36.750 a problem? Nope. Are you lonely because no one 00:25:36.750 --> 00:25:39.529 cares, there's no place to belong? Nope. What 00:25:39.529 --> 00:25:41.930 are you lonely? You're lonely for two reasons. 00:25:42.069 --> 00:25:44.049 One, I believe you have a distorted view of the 00:25:44.049 --> 00:25:46.869 church. And two, you have a distorted view of 00:25:46.869 --> 00:25:49.009 relationships. And so in the time remaining, 00:25:49.109 --> 00:25:51.410 here's what I want to do. I want to help you 00:25:51.410 --> 00:25:54.009 break out of your loneliness and isolation by 00:25:54.009 --> 00:25:57.700 rethinking your view of the church and... By 00:25:57.700 --> 00:26:00.859 revising your approach to relationships. First, 00:26:00.900 --> 00:26:02.619 rethinking your view of the church. Many people 00:26:02.619 --> 00:26:06.920 think of the church as an institution. It's buildings. 00:26:07.240 --> 00:26:10.359 It's programs. It's structure. It's this idea 00:26:10.359 --> 00:26:12.799 of them. In fact, when I meet you out at the 00:26:12.799 --> 00:26:14.519 mall or when I'm running around, when you tell 00:26:14.519 --> 00:26:18.180 me I go to your church, you're telling me that 00:26:18.180 --> 00:26:22.079 you think church is a them and you're a we. So 00:26:22.079 --> 00:26:25.819 you don't feel a part. The church is not an institution. 00:26:26.730 --> 00:26:30.670 The church is a community. Community is where 00:26:30.670 --> 00:26:33.410 you have involvement, sharing, relationships, 00:26:33.509 --> 00:26:36.809 and connection. See, the church is not an event 00:26:36.809 --> 00:26:40.890 to attend. Like, I'm going to the theater. It's 00:26:40.890 --> 00:26:42.269 Saturday night or Sunday morning. Let's go to 00:26:42.269 --> 00:26:45.190 the church. It's a place to attend. Hope the 00:26:45.190 --> 00:26:48.289 music's good. Hope Chip has a good day, you know. 00:26:48.549 --> 00:26:51.890 I'm going to the church, an event. That's not 00:26:51.890 --> 00:26:57.640 the church. The church is a place to belong. 00:26:57.779 --> 00:27:01.420 It's a family. It's us. It's in relationships. 00:27:02.299 --> 00:27:05.279 And until you rethink how you think about the 00:27:05.279 --> 00:27:07.900 church, you're going to be lonely. And there's 00:27:07.900 --> 00:27:11.759 steak dinners spiritually on the table and starving 00:27:11.759 --> 00:27:15.880 people, and that doesn't make sense to God. Look 00:27:15.880 --> 00:27:19.180 at the early church, Acts chapter 2. Just listen 00:27:19.180 --> 00:27:23.200 to it. Just listen to it, and you tell me. You 00:27:23.200 --> 00:27:25.740 tell me if this sounds like an institution or 00:27:25.740 --> 00:27:28.680 an event to come to, to schedule in your planner. 00:27:29.519 --> 00:27:32.480 Or if this sounds more like life and relationships 00:27:32.480 --> 00:27:35.839 and involvement. Early church, they devoted themselves 00:27:35.839 --> 00:27:38.079 to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship and 00:27:38.079 --> 00:27:40.460 to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone 00:27:40.460 --> 00:27:43.880 was filled with awe and many wonders and miraculous 00:27:43.880 --> 00:27:47.019 signs were done by the apostles. All the believers 00:27:47.019 --> 00:27:52.269 were together and had everything in... Common, 00:27:52.269 --> 00:27:55.390 koinonia, sharing, relationship, involvement. 00:27:56.490 --> 00:27:58.490 Selling their possessions and goods they gave 00:27:58.490 --> 00:28:00.349 to anyone as they had need. That means they at 00:28:00.349 --> 00:28:02.890 least knew each other's names, didn't it? They 00:28:02.890 --> 00:28:05.109 cared about one another. They got out of their 00:28:05.109 --> 00:28:07.690 comfort zone. It wasn't any easier for them than 00:28:07.690 --> 00:28:11.380 it is for us. Every day they continued to meet 00:28:11.380 --> 00:28:13.420 together in the temple courts. They had large 00:28:13.420 --> 00:28:16.119 group worship, temple courts. They had instruction. 00:28:16.160 --> 00:28:18.380 They had celebration. They had worship. But in 00:28:18.380 --> 00:28:21.019 temple courts or on a Saturday night or a Sunday 00:28:21.019 --> 00:28:24.259 morning, you can't experience all God wants for 00:28:24.259 --> 00:28:27.519 the church. This is one function. But notice 00:28:27.519 --> 00:28:29.799 what happens after the temple courts. And they 00:28:29.799 --> 00:28:33.220 did it daily. Every day they continued to meet 00:28:33.220 --> 00:28:35.720 together in the temple courts. They broke bread. 00:28:36.039 --> 00:28:38.400 They had meals together. Shared the Lord's Supper 00:28:38.400 --> 00:28:42.900 where? in homes, and ate together with glad and 00:28:42.900 --> 00:28:47.519 sincere hearts. You're kidding. You mean small 00:28:47.519 --> 00:28:50.200 groups isn't a new method that someone made up 00:28:50.200 --> 00:28:55.059 to help churches grow? No. No. You mean meeting 00:28:55.059 --> 00:28:57.420 in homes, sharing meals, isn't something that 00:28:57.420 --> 00:29:01.700 some seminar group came up with? No. It's actually 00:29:01.700 --> 00:29:05.609 right from the beginning. See, it's real life 00:29:05.609 --> 00:29:08.509 relationships. You worship here. You learn here. 00:29:09.309 --> 00:29:11.849 But life doesn't take on meaning until you sit 00:29:11.849 --> 00:29:14.450 down over a coffee table or you sit down around 00:29:14.450 --> 00:29:17.109 a fire at the beach or you go have some fun together 00:29:17.109 --> 00:29:19.890 and you look into someone else's eyes and those 00:29:19.890 --> 00:29:24.069 eyes say, you matter. Tell me your story. Tell 00:29:24.069 --> 00:29:27.049 me your struggle. Tell me where you're frustrated. 00:29:27.470 --> 00:29:29.849 Let us pray for you about the relationship that's 00:29:29.849 --> 00:29:32.539 not working in your life. Let's pray for your 00:29:32.539 --> 00:29:35.099 boss. Let's hang in there with your sick kid. 00:29:36.000 --> 00:29:37.759 Notice what happens when the church operates 00:29:37.759 --> 00:29:41.599 this way. Verse 47, they're praising God and 00:29:41.599 --> 00:29:44.000 enjoying the favor of all the people, believers 00:29:44.000 --> 00:29:46.140 and unbelievers, and the Lord added to their 00:29:46.140 --> 00:29:52.559 number daily those who are being saved. Everybody 00:29:52.559 --> 00:29:59.099 needs somebody that cares about you as you. And 00:29:59.099 --> 00:30:05.259 I know, I know. But Chip, I don't do relationships 00:30:05.259 --> 00:30:09.799 well. I tried one of those groups you're talking 00:30:09.799 --> 00:30:12.380 about in a church, and you should have seen the 00:30:12.380 --> 00:30:15.559 wacko who led that group. Or I shared something 00:30:15.559 --> 00:30:17.180 in one of those groups, and then I heard about 00:30:17.180 --> 00:30:20.880 it from someone else two weeks later. I've been 00:30:20.880 --> 00:30:25.900 burned. I've been hurt. I've been rejected. I've 00:30:25.900 --> 00:30:28.700 been abandoned. No one really cares about me. 00:30:28.799 --> 00:30:30.680 No one would really want to enter into a relationship 00:30:30.680 --> 00:30:33.559 with me. So I've learned to keep acting in a 00:30:33.559 --> 00:30:36.319 way that makes that true. What you're saying 00:30:36.319 --> 00:30:39.619 sounds great, Chip. And with all these people 00:30:39.619 --> 00:30:41.779 here, when we laugh together, it seems, yeah. 00:30:43.339 --> 00:30:45.519 But when they play that last song and you walk 00:30:45.519 --> 00:30:50.420 out the doors, I feel like I'm alone again. How 00:30:50.420 --> 00:30:53.359 do you do relationships where you can start to 00:30:53.359 --> 00:30:55.720 break down these barriers and get connected in 00:30:55.720 --> 00:30:59.029 the body of Christ? Suggestion number one, realize 00:30:59.029 --> 00:31:02.569 your need. As long as it's an option, you won't 00:31:02.569 --> 00:31:05.529 do it. It's our pride that makes us think, you 00:31:05.529 --> 00:31:07.509 know, I don't really need other people. No, you 00:31:07.509 --> 00:31:10.589 just need to keep lying to yourself. There's 00:31:10.589 --> 00:31:13.230 no Lone Rangers. The Bible is clear that attachment 00:31:13.230 --> 00:31:17.509 is essential. Life was made, listen, life was 00:31:17.509 --> 00:31:20.269 made for relationships. It can't even be just 00:31:20.269 --> 00:31:24.579 you and God. He didn't design it that way. Realize 00:31:24.579 --> 00:31:27.319 your need. Two, move toward others. Now, it's 00:31:27.319 --> 00:31:30.359 great when people move toward you. But for some 00:31:30.359 --> 00:31:34.279 of us, you see, we walk in and here's how we 00:31:34.279 --> 00:31:36.799 all think. See, you look happy. You look smiling. 00:31:37.059 --> 00:31:38.859 When everyone gets up and introduces and says 00:31:38.859 --> 00:31:40.880 hi, you know, I look around the room and everyone's 00:31:40.880 --> 00:31:42.680 got it together. And you're probably in a group 00:31:42.680 --> 00:31:44.339 and you're probably in a ministry and life's 00:31:44.339 --> 00:31:46.700 probably going great for you. But it's not for 00:31:46.700 --> 00:31:50.619 me. What you don't understand is 65 to 70 % of 00:31:50.619 --> 00:31:51.940 all the people that you think that about, it's 00:31:51.940 --> 00:31:53.619 not true. They're struggling just like you are. 00:31:54.619 --> 00:31:56.359 They don't have it together. They're hurting 00:31:56.359 --> 00:31:58.440 and they're struggling. They need you to walk 00:31:58.440 --> 00:32:00.619 across an aisle, make a phone call, extend a 00:32:00.619 --> 00:32:04.420 hand, smile and say, how are you doing? And you're 00:32:04.420 --> 00:32:06.119 saying, well, no one's ever done that to me in 00:32:06.119 --> 00:32:10.420 this church. They haven't. And I've counted 52 00:32:10.420 --> 00:32:13.960 weeks. No one's done that. Of course, you haven't 00:32:13.960 --> 00:32:17.130 done that to anyone else, have you? You got to 00:32:17.130 --> 00:32:20.849 move toward others. Scary? You bet. Can't be 00:32:20.849 --> 00:32:24.009 any worse than loneliness. Number three, be vulnerable. 00:32:24.849 --> 00:32:27.130 The word vulnerability literally means be open 00:32:27.130 --> 00:32:32.970 to attack. See, when I meet someone that either 00:32:32.970 --> 00:32:35.069 looks like they have it all together or projects 00:32:35.069 --> 00:32:36.430 they have it all together, you know what I've 00:32:36.430 --> 00:32:38.829 learned over the years? One, I'm too intimidated. 00:32:38.930 --> 00:32:41.230 I don't want to get around them. And two, I've 00:32:41.230 --> 00:32:42.549 been around the block to know they're either 00:32:42.549 --> 00:32:44.470 faking it or they're lying. So I don't want to 00:32:44.470 --> 00:32:47.759 be around them either. Right? Now, are you attracted 00:32:47.759 --> 00:32:52.339 to people that really, man, I'm not. But the 00:32:52.339 --> 00:32:55.119 moment someone shares a hurt, the moment someone 00:32:55.119 --> 00:32:57.200 shares a struggle, the moment someone peels a 00:32:57.200 --> 00:32:59.339 little bit of the mask off and lets me know what's 00:32:59.339 --> 00:33:01.759 going on inside, I'm immediately attracted to 00:33:01.759 --> 00:33:03.480 them. You know why? Because, oh good, they're 00:33:03.480 --> 00:33:06.099 like me. Insecure, struggling, temptation, all 00:33:06.099 --> 00:33:08.940 kind of problems. And I need help with them. 00:33:08.980 --> 00:33:11.240 And I don't know, I just feel comfortable. Is 00:33:11.240 --> 00:33:14.299 it scary? Yes, but be vulnerable. Do it wisely. 00:33:14.940 --> 00:33:18.400 Open up. A little at a time. Make sure how people 00:33:18.400 --> 00:33:20.880 respond. Don't do it with everyone. But take 00:33:20.880 --> 00:33:24.500 some steps. Fourth, channel distorted thinking. 00:33:25.000 --> 00:33:28.000 No one likes you. They'll abandon you. It'll 00:33:28.000 --> 00:33:30.880 be just like last time. You keep those running 00:33:30.880 --> 00:33:33.079 and you're right. Nothing will change. Challenge 00:33:33.079 --> 00:33:37.519 those. Fifth, take risks. Step out. Extend a 00:33:37.519 --> 00:33:43.359 hand. Join a group. Reach out to someone. Take 00:33:43.359 --> 00:33:48.460 a risk. Six, be empathetic. Identify with others' 00:33:48.559 --> 00:33:50.839 hurts. If you can get other -centered and listen, 00:33:51.000 --> 00:33:54.380 listen, listen. Start, I have never found a person 00:33:54.380 --> 00:33:56.160 who's a great listener that doesn't have tons 00:33:56.160 --> 00:33:59.940 of friends. You know why? Who do people love 00:33:59.940 --> 00:34:02.640 to talk about more than anyone else in the whole 00:34:02.640 --> 00:34:07.319 world? Ourselves. Do you realize what great friends 00:34:07.319 --> 00:34:09.519 you can have and say, where are you from? Well, 00:34:09.539 --> 00:34:11.739 do you have any children? What part of the country? 00:34:12.039 --> 00:34:14.159 How's that going? What's the biggest struggle 00:34:14.159 --> 00:34:16.440 you have in work? Boy, that must be very difficult. 00:34:16.519 --> 00:34:18.699 How do you manage that? You just keep asking 00:34:18.699 --> 00:34:20.980 questions and listen, listen, listen. You know 00:34:20.980 --> 00:34:23.440 what? They walk away thinking, man, what a nice 00:34:23.440 --> 00:34:28.840 guy. Right? And then out of sheer politeness, 00:34:28.880 --> 00:34:30.300 they might try something like, you know, I've 00:34:30.300 --> 00:34:33.059 been talking for 20 minutes. How are you? And 00:34:33.059 --> 00:34:34.860 where are you from? And you're thinking, this 00:34:34.860 --> 00:34:40.760 works. I love it. Finally, pray. Trust God. Pray, 00:34:40.800 --> 00:34:44.039 pray, pray. Every time you come to a crossroads 00:34:44.039 --> 00:34:45.300 and you think, I want to take a step toward this 00:34:45.300 --> 00:34:46.880 person. I'm afraid, I'm afraid, I can't do it. 00:34:46.880 --> 00:34:47.980 And God will say, that's right, you can't, but 00:34:47.980 --> 00:34:50.119 I can with you. Okay, I'll do it. Pray, pray, 00:34:50.199 --> 00:34:54.760 pray. Trust God. How does connecting occur? The 00:34:54.760 --> 00:34:59.559 first, smile. It's amazing. Just when you smile 00:34:59.559 --> 00:35:07.039 at someone. Two, extend a hand. Hi, my name is. 00:35:07.179 --> 00:35:11.079 I've been coming so -and -so. Three, for three 00:35:11.079 --> 00:35:13.719 minutes, I want you to talk with someone you 00:35:13.719 --> 00:35:16.800 don't know. You know what we do, those of us 00:35:16.800 --> 00:35:19.099 who feel connected? We come here, smile, think 00:35:19.099 --> 00:35:21.619 everyone's okay. And, you know, I think, great, 00:35:21.699 --> 00:35:23.739 Marty, how you doing? I know Marty. Hey, Sue, 00:35:23.920 --> 00:35:25.980 how's it going? I know Sue. Hey, Gordon. Hey, 00:35:26.019 --> 00:35:28.480 man, how's it going? Tell me about... And so 00:35:28.480 --> 00:35:31.300 we know each other, we talk to each other, and 00:35:31.300 --> 00:35:33.320 all the people are not connected. Walk in, walk 00:35:33.320 --> 00:35:35.800 out, walk in for three minutes. Don't talk to 00:35:35.800 --> 00:35:41.780 anybody you know. Fourth, help out. The quickest 00:35:41.780 --> 00:35:43.699 way to get connected is people are desperate 00:35:43.699 --> 00:35:45.440 for help. You want help in the kitchen? I'll 00:35:45.440 --> 00:35:46.920 help out. Need help with those kids? I'll help 00:35:46.920 --> 00:35:49.719 out. Hey, shaking hands, giving out bulletins? 00:35:49.880 --> 00:35:52.039 I'll help out. You need help putting these chairs 00:35:52.039 --> 00:35:56.139 up? I'll help out. What happens? You forge relationships. 00:35:57.159 --> 00:36:01.980 The summary to lick loneliness, you got to write 00:36:01.980 --> 00:36:07.239 in the word, belong. You got to belong. You see, 00:36:07.260 --> 00:36:10.099 it's these informal steps plus formal strategies 00:36:10.099 --> 00:36:14.500 that will produce a connected community of love. 00:36:17.159 --> 00:36:19.900 This is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. 00:36:20.159 --> 00:36:23.159 As we continue this series on experiencing breakthrough, 00:36:23.460 --> 00:36:26.159 you might be realizing you need to build a stronger 00:36:26.159 --> 00:36:29.000 spiritual foundation. Well, that's exactly why 00:36:29.000 --> 00:36:31.219 we're offering Chip's free online devotional, 00:36:31.320 --> 00:36:34.119 Psalms of Hope. Here's what makes this resource 00:36:34.119 --> 00:36:36.820 different. Chip doesn't just explain the Psalms 00:36:36.820 --> 00:36:39.079 to you. He teaches you how to study them for 00:36:39.079 --> 00:36:42.059 yourself. Each day for 10 days, you'll spend 00:36:42.059 --> 00:36:44.400 10 minutes learning from Chip, then 10 minutes 00:36:44.400 --> 00:36:46.440 applying what you've learned through prayer and 00:36:46.440 --> 00:36:49.599 meditation. You'll journey through Psalm 1, Psalm 00:36:49.599 --> 00:36:53.519 15, and Psalm 23, passages that speak directly 00:36:53.519 --> 00:36:56.500 to finding stability, experiencing God's presence, 00:36:56.699 --> 00:37:00.070 and building authentic relationships. This isn't 00:37:00.070 --> 00:37:02.210 about adding another obligation to your schedule. 00:37:02.349 --> 00:37:04.909 It's about creating a daily rhythm of connecting 00:37:04.909 --> 00:37:07.570 with God that can transform your entire life. 00:37:07.789 --> 00:37:11.530 And it's completely free, online at livingontheedge 00:37:11.530 --> 00:37:16.639 .org. Just search for Psalms of Hope. Now, creating 00:37:16.639 --> 00:37:18.980 resources like this takes financial investment. 00:37:19.179 --> 00:37:21.239 When you give to Living on the Edge, you're not 00:37:21.239 --> 00:37:23.840 just supporting a radio program. You're helping 00:37:23.840 --> 00:37:26.139 people around the world discover what it means 00:37:26.139 --> 00:37:29.360 to truly walk with God. If this ministry is making 00:37:29.360 --> 00:37:31.780 a difference in your life, please consider giving 00:37:31.780 --> 00:37:35.400 today. Visit livingontheedge .org to give or 00:37:35.400 --> 00:37:39.119 write to Living on the Edge, P .O. Box 3007, 00:37:39.300 --> 00:37:44.250 Atlanta, Georgia, 30024. You can also call 888 00:37:44.250 --> 00:37:49.309 -333 -6003. Join us again next time for another 00:37:49.309 --> 00:37:52.070 insightful Bible lesson here on the Chip Ingram 00:37:52.070 --> 00:37:58.429 Sermon Podcast. 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