Today on Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram.
The entire Christian life is grace. Here's my
question. Are you experiencing that grace today?
Or are you consumed with guilt and shame and
failure? I'm here to tell you on the basis of
Scripture, you don't have to live that way anymore.
You don't. Today, I'll share three specific ways
that you can begin to soak in the love and restoration
that your soul is craving. Stay with me. In a
performance -driven world, it constantly tells
them they're not enough. What's the one thing
your children and grandchildren need most? Well,
it's not more rules, higher standards, or better
behavior. It's grace. True transformative grace.
Today on Living on the Edge, Chip Ingram explains
why teaching the next generation to live grace
-filled lives may be the most critical legacy
we can pass on. Through the shocking story of
King David's catastrophic failure and his miraculous
restoration, we'll discover how to help those
you love most. They'll learn to receive God's
unconditional love and extend that same grace
to others. Before he starts the message, I'll
remind you that Living on the Edge is making
headway on the December match. But in order to
reach our goal, we're inviting you to join us.
We'll share more details about the match later.
But right now, let's begin Chip's message titled,
Teach Them to Live Grace -Filled Lives. The transferable
concept we must pass on to our kids and to our
grandkids is this. Teach them to live grace -filled
lives. Let me ask you, how do we pass this radical,
radical concept on to those we care about most?
I think the first step is for you to write in
your name. In my notes, it says, I, Chip Ingram,
choose to believe that with God, my failure is
never final. Now let's talk about how do you
experience that? Let me give you three specific
ways. First, encourage them to meditate on the
lives of David and Peter, murderer, adulterer,
and betrayer. who are among God's most beloved
and mightily used servants. Did you ever wonder?
I mean, some people wonder, is this really God's
word? Can you really trust it? Did God really
write this? And I got news for you. No man would
ever write such a self -revealing book and allow
the heroes of the story to be so messed up. This
is God's dream team. And we have the audacity
to say, well, God could never forgive me. I don't
think he could ever use me. Are you kidding?
I remember I had not read the Bible growing up
at all. And I remember, you know, probably after
a year or so and dealing with all the stuff that,
you know, I had to deal with and just sort of
a naive thought. I thought, you know, I've not
killed anybody. I think God could use me. Because
so far, the people that are used the most, they've
all at least killed someone. I'm thinking, how
much worse could it be than that? And you know,
with your kids, they're gonna fail. Now, does
it mean that there's not consequences for sin?
Absolutely not. Does it mean you don't discipline?
Absolutely not. And part of that is we gotta
tell stories. We gotta tell the stories of Peter
more than walking on the water and saying you
are the Christ and talk about. What goes in a
human heart to betray the person who loves you
the most? And how did God treat people who blew
it that badly? He caused some loving consequences
and he restored and loved and used them. I mean,
some people think, oh, God could never use me
now. I'm thinking, Peter did okay. And I don't
think there's a more grievous sin to God than
betraying him. We need to meditate. We need to
think about. We need to tell not just the Bible
stories where they're heroes, but let's peel
back some of the layers and talk about where
they blew it and make it into real life and talk
about that pastor that we all know who fell morally
with a little bit different spirit and maybe
assume that it was a good man in a weak moment.
And maybe talk about, you know, in a weak moment,
that could be me or that could be you or you
when you talk to someone that you're trying to
help. Pass on the things that matter most. Secondly,
help them remove the power of secret. Secret
is the key word. And condemnation by practicing
repentance, James 4, 7 to 10, and confession,
James 5, 16, with some mature believers that
they can trust. The way the enemy works is this.
When you sin, when you blow it big time, When
you make a mistake, when you do something you're
ashamed of, what happens is we do exactly what
David did. We start to cover it up. We don't
want anyone to know. We're embarrassed by it.
We don't want the consequences of it. And we
cover it up. And then a little secret. And by
the way, I will tell you, it's just what the
enemy does is then all my lands. Some of you,
you've lived with stuff for years, some with
decades. And anytime you start to take a step
here, a step here, you don't think God's really
going to use you. Don't you remember that hotel?
Yeah, you were young, but remember that hotel
room? I mean, what happened if your mate ever
found out that it was actually her best friend?
And what about when you worked in, remember that
time in the service and you were overseas? And
I mean, that starts playing the tape. And then
you just cover that back up. And then you push
it down. And if the truth were known, probably
some depression and physical issues and unresolved
conflict has been brewing for years and years
and playing itself out. God says, I have a remedy.
When you take bacteria that is growing and you
take it out of the darkness and you bring it
into sunlight, you know what happens? It dies.
You just bring it into light. And the process
of bringing those things into the light are given
to us in James 4. It says, therefore, submit
to God. You realize, okay, okay, I submit to
you. And then notice that there's an enemy. Resist
the devil. And he'll flee from you. You have
to say, I'm in Christ. Did I blow it? Yes. Was
it wrong? Yes. Am I ashamed of it? Yes. But I'm
going to now bring, I'm going to submit to God.
I'm going to resist the devil. I'm going to quote.
Romans 8 .1, there is no condemnation for those
that are in Christ Jesus. And then I'm gonna
draw near to God instead of feeling like I don't
deserve him and I can't come close. And he promises
he's gonna draw near to me. Then I'm gonna start
this process and it'll start with the external
things. And it says, cleanse your hands, you
sinners, purify your hearts, you double -minded.
And so I'm gonna look at the outward things that
I've done. And then I'm gonna look at the motives
of the heart. And then I'm gonna allow it to
emotionally get down to my gut and to my soul.
Lament and mourn and weep. I'm gonna embrace
the emotions and the pain and the grief of what
I've done against God. It's a Psalm 51 moment.
Against you and you only have I sinned. God,
forgive me. Forgive me. I'm sorry. And then notice
what happens. Turn your mourning. and your joy
to gloom. It's a process. And this is describing
humbling yourself on the side of God. And what's
the promise? He will lift you up. But until you
come clean, until you get the secret out in the
open, in fact, later in James 5, until we confess
our sins to one another, you don't get healed.
Had a man in our church in California. And man,
it was just like, as a pastor, you meet these
guys and he's just a with it guy. And he was
committed and he was driving about 35 or 40 miles
to church. I said, Andy, can't you find something
a little closer? He goes, look, I commute 55
minutes to work. God is speaking to me. He's
speaking to my kids. He had like four or five
kids. And he said, we are all growing. It's worth
the trip. I said, well, I mean, okay, but I mean,
I'm just thinking. There's got to be a church
closer for you and et cetera. He said, no, no.
And I mean, you know, it's just one of those
guys where you met him and boy, he's growing.
He's in the scriptures and pretty soon he's involved
in ministry. And, you know, you just dream about
this as a pastor. These really solid people that
can make a huge difference and they do. And ministries
get built around them and you become friends
with them. And he said, hey, can I get some time
with you? I said, sure. He said, I need to do
something. I said, fine. So we came to my office
and grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down. And,
you know, he's kind of shaking. I'm going. Andy,
what's wrong? He said, the last four months,
I've been traveling secretly to another city.
And I'm thinking, oh, man, you know. I said,
so what's going on? He said, well, it's been
going on for over 30 years. He's in his mid -40s.
He said, it started when I was seven years old,
and these magazines would come in. I mean, it
was like the Sears catalog. And, you know, I
was just a kid, but I found the lingerie section.
And it was like a magnet. And then I was about
12 or 13, and I don't know, accident or what,
but my dad kept Playboys in between the mattresses.
And I had a steady diet of those. By the time
I was in my late teens, I kind of moved and progressed
to some hardcore stuff. I've never told anyone
this. I've been living with this for 30 years.
The Internet has been killing me the last decade.
There's stuff and access that, he said, it's
like a thirsty man that I just, I can only go
hours without going and logging on the internet.
And the guilt that I've lived with and the turmoil
inside, I can't even explain to anyone. And so
I heard about, you know, one of these sexual
addiction groups, kind of a celebrate recovery
type thing in this church about 65 miles away
because I didn't want to do anything near us.
And once a week for the last four months, I've
been driving there. And I got the secret out
in the open. And something broke inside of me.
And I wept with other men with the same problem.
And I have been clean now for not just this four
months, but a pretty good season of time afterwards.
Now I've shared all this with my wife. It was
horrendous. Boy, do I have a godly woman. And
he said, now after this season, I feel like...
You know, I don't know about the statistics,
but probably 25 to 30 % of the men in our church
are dealing with this in some way. You're doing
the series and I kind of see where you're going
and you're going to talk about sexual purity.
With your permission, I'd like to tell my story.
And I've asked my wife to sit on the front row
because I need to apologize to her publicly.
Now, don't get me wrong. I really knew this guy
and we prayed about it and I will never forget.
got to a certain point in the message, and rather
than giving an illustration, I said, you know,
I just want to stop for a moment. Andy, would
you come up? Super respected in the church. He
had a little thing, something he'd like to share.
And I just came over here. And Andy told his
story. And with tears streaming down his face,
he apologized to his wife and his kids. And at
the end of that, I said, you know, we need to
get secrets out. Whoever has an issue like this
in your life, Andy's going to be here tonight,
and we're going to start some shoot it straight,
small group, sexual addiction for men. We launched
five groups that night. It multiplied after that.
I told the story and had people calling me from
all over the country, and all I do is I say,
Andy, can I have permission? Because he's gifted
organizationally. I say, can I have permission
to just give your name? He's launched now. groups
all over the country. God has taken his greatest
secret and pain and sin and not only forgiven
him, but restored him and used the thing that
was the worst in his life to become the conduit
of grace for others. What's your secret? What
is it in your past? Is there something that you'd
never want anyone else to know that needs to
come to the surface? that you need to bring to
God first and foremost, submit to him, resist
the devil, draw near to God, cleanse your hands,
purify your hearts, mourn, humble yourself, and
let him lift you up. And then share that in an
appropriate place with a safe person who's very
mature so God could bring healing to you and
then use it as a redeeming, powerful ministry
to others. We'll hear more from Chip Ingram's
message in just a moment. First, we're inviting
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livingontheedge .org. from his series called
Leaving a Legacy That Lasts Forever. Again, our
Bible teacher, Chip Ingram. Do you ever hear
the Apostle Paul when he gets real personal in
the New Testament? I'm chief among sinners. And
God revealed himself to the apostles and also
to me as one unworthy. It was his depth of understanding
of owning his stuff. See, grace doesn't mean
much if it's a little word that says, I'm saved
by grace. I believe in Jesus. I went to a camp.
I raised my hand. I got baptized. Yippee -doo,
yippee -doo. Now I try and be a good moral person.
And in my functional Christianity, I realize
there's a big blackboard in the sky. Good deeds,
bad deeds. When I do, do, do, do, do, I feel
good, good, good. When I bad, bad, bad, bad,
I feel bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. So I will try
really, really hard. I get really exhausted.
I have to hide a number of things. And it doesn't
feel really good. I know I'm supposed to be a
good guy, but, but, but, but. That's American
and much of Christianity around the world. It
is not supernatural. It is not Christianity.
It is performance -oriented. It is not grace.
Grace produces powerful life change from the
inside out. Third, teach them to refuse to continue
living with a performance orientation in their
relationship with God. It is and always will
be a grace orientation. Sometimes when we think
about grace, it's still hard to kind of get your
arms around. There's a lot of Bible words like
that, you know? And sometimes a word picture
gets it. So here's a word picture. Here's what
grace is. If in your flesh and frailty as a human
being, you make a mistake and you fall into a
10 -foot hole. and you're looking up and it's
a 10 -foot hole and there's no way to get out
of this thing. Grace is God will extend an 11
-foot rope with knots on it and you sit on the
little chair at the end and he'll pull you up
out of it. But if you happen to be one of those
people that makes even a huge mistake and you
drop into a 99 -foot hole, and you can barely
see the light, and there's, I mean, there was
no way out of the 10 -foot hole, but this is,
there's not even any hope. God will drop a 100
-foot rope with knots in it with a little wooden
thing that you can sit on, and he will pull you
up. That's what grace is. It is all that you
need. Paul, my grace is sufficient for you. Grace
extends a foot beyond whatever your need is.
Totally apart from your performance. Totally
apart from what you could earn, try hard, get
back together. If I'm really good, well, maybe
then. All that thinking. And I will just tell
you, I think it's a very long journey, especially
if you're goal -oriented, fairly strategic, happen
to be driven, a little OCD. came from a legalistic
background. Can I continue, or you got the idea?
Let me give you a couple tools that might be
helpful. One for me, as I realized, it's so deeply
embedded in me, my performance orientation. I
feel close to God when I'm doing good. My emotions,
I tend not to feel close to God when I'm doing
bad. Left to myself, I will think, well, I'll
read. I used to be, when I was a young Christian,
like if I missed a day, I'd have to read that
many more chapters to kind of get it back level
again, you know? But that mentality, I mean,
it's so deep in me. And I realized what needed
to change was not my behavior, but my thinking.
And so I began to take, these are called desire
cards. And I just thought, I'm not going to try
and memorize them. I need to learn to think in
a new way. And so I began to begin to think of
ways that I could begin to think. and reorient
my mind around what is true in relationships
and with me and with God. And so I desire to
communicate unconditional love and acceptance
toward my children regardless of their performance.
I thought, you know, if I could learn how to
do it with my kids, maybe I'd get it myself.
And then I said, I desire to please God and find
my worth and security in Him rather than seeking
to please people to get their affirmation in
ministry. Because, see, what I realized was is,
you know, if I had a good sermon and people said,
oh, that was really good. Oh, good, good, good.
Oh, that wasn't a very good sermon. Oh, really
bad, bad, bad, bad. And I would live like this.
Anybody do that? See, that's a lack of understanding
of grace. And my point is you can write down
what's for you. These are ones I've been, and
I just read them over. Put them on the bed stand.
Just read them over. No pressure. I mean, when
I first wrote them, I wrote them as goals. Ingram,
right? My goal is to be more grace -oriented.
Wait a minute, Ingram. A goal is something you
can, it's a desire. My desire is to focus on
my faithfulness to God rather than my success
in ministry. Just read that over. My desire is
to enjoy my relationship with Jesus Christ each
and every day. I realized I was getting, hey,
Lord, you know what? Aren't you glad I'm on your
team? I get a lot done. I mean, I get a lot done.
I mean, hey, give me the ball. I'll run it. I
get a lot done. And it was like, Chip, lighten
up. I want you to enjoy me. And I jotted Psalm
1611. You've made known to me the path of life,
and your presence is fullness of joy, and at
your right hand are pleasures forever. To enjoy
God, to not get anything done when you're in
his presence always. My desire is to allow my
children the freedom to fail, to make our home
a pressure -free environment. And they will tell
you, Dad, you really need a little bit more work
on that, but you're not like you used to be.
My desire is to have some good fun once or twice
a week, limiting my work hours to 55 or 60 hours.
See, part of that performance orientation creates
a workaholic. A workaholic works not because
he needs to work. He works because he's filling
up the holes in his heart to say, I'm really
okay. And that's a lack of understanding of grace
in my identity in Christ. So I have to write
down, have fun, Chip. Don't feel guilty when
you play nine holes. I mean, don't feel guilty
when you sit back and, you know, get a Diet Coke
and get some of that sharp cheese and those Triscuits
you like and put your feet up and watch the Dallas
Cowboys and enjoy it. I mean, of course I need
to limit the media, but my lens, like there's
great movies and there's times to sit back, relax,
enjoy, and it brings this balance. You tracking
with me? Final one here is my desire is to worship
God for who he is and praise and adoration. at
least once every day. I got to the point where
when I met with God, it was, okay, let's get
something done here. Who do you want me to pray
for? Another tool along with the cards, I didn't
used to do this, but what I found is I lied to
myself and I needed to be reminded of God's grace.
And this is a super duper, like 599, just little
notebook. whereas I just try and be more honest.
And I find when I write it out, it's harder to
lie to myself. And I just got in the habit of
writing out what I really think and what I really
feel and when I'm really mad and when I'm really
afraid and when I'm really hurting. And they
often start out, yesterday started poorly, ended
well. It seemed like all of life was pressing
against me yesterday. I was angry and disturbed
and very frustrated. You know, I mean, for a
guy like me, that's like you don't measure up.
I mean, you need to be in control. I mean, you
need to have it together. I mean, you got to
get with the program. And this tool has helped
me just come before God. See, grace always flows
downhill. Grace always flows toward humility.
Performance. Control is always rooted in pride.
Now, there's responsibility that's healthy. But
some of us feel like we've got to be in control
and manage everything and manage outcomes. You
can't. And so God's loving grace for some of
us, well, he'll just keep overloading you until
you can't handle it so that you come to this
amazing discovery. I can't handle it. And I think
God smiles, goes, well, it took a while, but
you know, I've known that from day one. I want
to help you. Oh, really? Yeah. You can do all
things through Christ who gives you strength.
So the life message here is you were created
to receive grace and give grace. He's standing
ready with open arms to help us as only God can.
You're listening to Living on the Edge with Bible
teacher Chip Ingram. We'll hear a closing comment
from Chip in just a moment. This practical five
-part series concludes today. To hear any of
Chip's messages from this series or to order
the companion resources to facilitate personal
study, give us a call at 888 -333 -6003 or go
to livingontheedge .org. Look for the series
called Leaving a Legacy That Lasts Forever. Well,
Chip, although we've been on radio for 30 years,
we're finding that young listeners don't tune
in this way. Instead, they're using new platforms
and they're asking honest, vulnerable questions.
You know, it's our role as parents and grandparents
to bolster their confidence in the credibility
of the Bible. Young adults today are asking questions
their parents never ask. How do I know Christianity
is true with so many other religions? You know,
why does the Bible seem to contradict science?
Or how can I trust a God who allows such suffering?
These aren't rebellious questions. They're honest
questions. And they deserve an honest answer,
a thoughtful answer. Living on the edge doesn't
shy away from the hard stuff. You might remember
our series, Caring Enough to Confront, where
we taught on abortion. politics the environment
lgbtq porn heterosexual sin i mean if they don't
hear god's perspective that is winsome and loving
and clear and truthful how do we expect them
to follow him we have to give answers with a
spirit of kindness and love, but we have to shoot
it straight. And by and large, that has not happened
across America. This is where God is called living
on the edge to step in and both be kind and winsome,
but at the same time, tackle controversial issues
in a way that's clear, that's biblical, that's
relevant, and speaks to the heart of young people.
When you give to this match, you're helping us
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Will you stand with us? To respond to Chip Ingram
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You know, many in our audience prefer to send
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us when Chip Ingram describes the biblical solution
tomorrow on Living on the Edge.