Today on Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram.
How do you get God's best for your life? You
know, you see some believers and you sense, boy,
they're in the right relationship. They make
wise decisions about money. They're getting God's
best. I want that. How does it work? Today, I
will give you four biblical principles that will
help you discover how you can get God's best
for your life. Stay with us. Holiness is a word
that intimidates most of us. It's an unachievable
virtue, or so it seems. What if everything you've
been told about holiness is wrong? What if God's
call to holy living isn't about following a list
of don'ts, but about discovering the pathway
to extraordinary joy, fulfilling relationships,
and a life that truly works? On today's edition
of Living on the Edge, Chip Ingram dismantles
our misconceptions about holiness and reveals
it for what it really is. wholeness, health,
and the key to experiencing God's absolute best.
Far from being otherworldly or strange, holy
living makes us winsome, loving, pure, and unmistakably
Christ -like, the kind of person others are drawn
to. And after Chip's message, we'll explain how
you can participate in the time -limited match
that's active a short while longer. Every dollar
you give will be matched and therefore doubled
through December 31st. But right now, the message
from Chip Ingram about leaving a legacy that
lasts forever. Number one, encourage them to
saturate their mind with truth. The Bible, great
books, videos. All I want you to get is where
do you set your mind? Where do you set your mind?
First and foremost, we have to model this. And
then you got to pass that on. And it's got to
be passed on, not as a club. You know, okay,
kids, get around the table right now. It's breakfast
time or supper time. All right. Nathaniel, open
Proverbs chapter one. It's the first day of the
month, isn't it? Read it now. Ethel, shut up.
Listen to your brother. He's reading God's word.
I can tell you where these kids are going to
be at about 18. It will not be in church or much
to do with God. And I talk to my kids now, my
one son is a pastor. I said, well, Ryan, what
was it that really clicked for you in terms of
how did God lead you that way? And I'm thinking,
maybe it's one of my great messages, I'm sure,
you know? But this is my kids. He said, well,
that is really pretty easy, you know? I don't
know how many times, you know, when you're a
little kid and you get up and go to the bathroom
and you think it's the middle of the night because
it's like five o 'clock and for you it's the
middle of the night and there's a light on and
mom's on her knees praying or she's sitting in
the chair with a cup of coffee reading God's
word. I just grew up watching you and mom. That's
what mattered. And so you have to create when
they're little and then when they're older, saturate
their mind with truth. Encourage that. The second
is encourage them to hang out regularly with
wise, godly people. Proverbs 13, 20, he who dwells
with wise men will be wise, but the companion
of a fool will suffer harm. There's a great line.
I got this from the vice president of a guy that
I work with and his wife was there and we were
talking about the influence of kids and you're
always worried about who to hang out with and
she just turned to all of us and said, well,
I'll tell you. You show me your friends, I'll
show you your future. I mean, I don't know where
she got, I wrote that down. I've been using it
since and when I can remember to give her credit,
I do, like now. But I mean, it's true. Think
of who you're investing in. You need, if you
have control, you need to be very careful about
who they hang out with. You know, some guys I've
had the opportunity to help and disciple. You
know, I've really talked about, hey, brother,
you know, I got news for you. I love you. I care
for you. We're playing hoop. You're a new Christian.
You're making progress. Now, tell me again about
what you came out of. It was New Age and cocaine,
right? Okay. And you used to smoke this stuff
and sell it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And you're telling
me you're struggling, right? Okay. Why are you
struggling? Great. Now, tell me who you're hanging
out with. two other dealers. Now, help me with
this. I mean, I'm in Santa Cruz, California.
I mean, this is normal. Help me with this. You
think you're not going to do that, hanging out
with them? Well, they're my friends, and I want
to lead them to Christ. Hey, you lead people
to Christ on neutral turf. You know what? You
don't go over there, and they probably are going
to come to church, but let's find some neutral
places where let's have them hang out, and you
can influence them instead of them influence
you. More than one time when my kids, I said,
you can't play with those two kids anymore. But
dad, dad. No, you can't play with them. They
can come to our house and hang out, but you're
not going to their house. No one's home. I know
what happens. You're just not going to do it.
Well, you do, do, do. Yeah, of course. Some of
us need to be, those of you that have smaller
children or teenagers, it's okay to be the bad
person. It's okay. They can, I don't love you
anymore. Let them slam the door, you know. Who
are you to tell me who I can be friends with?
Your parent. That's who. I don't love you. Now,
here's what I hear. And I've got a number of
cases. You know, it's anecdotal. But here's what
I hear. Well, if we set those boundaries too
tight, then they'll rebel. Especially in the
area of teenagers dating unbelievers. And I hear,
oh, we can't do that because we've got to be
real careful. I've got news for you. Their heart
gets connected to an unbeliever that's not walking
with God. They're going to go down the tubes.
So draw the line lovingly and catch it early.
And I know there's a handful of success stories
where that gal or that girl finally came to Christ
and all the rest. Let me tell you, I got a hundred
other stories for every success story you can
give me. The number one thing that causes young
people to fall and fall away from their faith.
And when they go to college, the reason they
change their morals is not they really change
their theology, but they have to change their
theology to adapt their lifestyle. And when your
emotions kick in and you fall in love and you
get to have sex, I mean, let's see, do I really
believe in God and the Bible and some of this
old -fashioned stuff or this? Hmm, that's a no
-brainer. And we can't figure out why. I mean,
the statistics are alarming of the percentage
of all of our, quote, young Christian youth who
go away to school, about 10 to 12 % keep their
faith five years later. And I've had some deep,
deep conflict with my children in that journey.
And I was a really, really bad guy. And it wasn't
always pretty. And I didn't always do it right.
But I will tell you, that is a non -negotiable.
You're the parent. With that said, you're having
lots of fun investing in their life and doing
lots of great things that other parents don't
do with them. Because you can... You know, the
bridge of truth is relationship. And the more
relationship you have, the more love, the more
deposits, the more truth that they can hold.
Because at the end of the day, they don't want
to disappoint you. They really don't, but it's
in a tug of war at times. Third, model for them
how to ask God for discernment and wisdom. It's
really important for those you're trying to help
that you don't become like the answer man or
the answer woman. Well, what should I do about
this? You know more than me. Well, can you tell
me? And you say, well, da -da -da -da, do this
or do that. Model for them, you know what? Here's
a passage in James 1, verse 5, okay? If any man
lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to
all men generously and without reproach. But
let him, when he asks, let him ask in faith.
For the one who doubts is like a double -minded
man who's tossed here and there by the waves.
Don't let that person expect to receive anything
from the Lord. And then you explain to him. Wisdom
is doing life God's way according to his design.
He'll always show you what to do. I mean, the
Bible doesn't tell you what state to live in.
The Bible doesn't tell you what vocation. The
Bible doesn't say you need to go to a Christian
school or non -Christian school. You need wisdom
from God. And so what you want to model for them
is, I don't have the answer to that, but God
makes a promise. And if we had time to develop
that whole text, the thesis of that text of not
ever doubting is not that you ever have doubts
about God. Everyone has doubts. We get our word
schizophrenic. It's a double -minded person.
When you pray, God, will you show me your will
so I can consider it as one of the options? God
says no. Did you catch that? Let me just go over
a little slower. Some of you went... When you
pray, and you don't do it like this intentionally,
but it's what we do. God, I really want to know
what your will is about this relationship. And
then when I know your will, I'll decide whether
I'll take it or not. Guess what? God says, you
know what? I don't answer those kind of prayers.
But what he says is, God, I don't know about
what to do about this relationship. I don't know
what to do about this money situation. I don't
know what to do about this marriage crisis. I
don't know what to do about this wayward son
or wayward daughter. God, I don't know about
my calling, whether I should get out of this
work and go to that work. Here's the promise
of James 1 .5. If I will come and say, God, I
want you to know that I've signed my name on
the bottom of the check and I've turned it like
this and put it under the throne room of heaven.
I will do, no matter what it is, whatever you
tell me, you fill in the top and I'll do it.
He says 100 % of the time, I'll fill in the top.
And now, how is he gonna show you? It might be
through a person, through the scripture, as you
pray, wise counsel, but he promises he will show
you what to do. 90 % of the will of God is being
really willing to do whatever God says. Most
of us, myself completely included, I kind of
want to get God lined up to get him to do what
I want because I think I know what's best. It's
that surrender to be willing to do it. And you
have to model that. This is where when they,
you know, don't say stuff like, my kids when
they were hitting the mid -teens, it'd be something
like, hey, you know, I want to do this or that
or go to this movie or do that. And I would think,
you know, that's not good. I'm going to keep
making every decision and we're going to be in
trouble. And so I would often say, well, would
you do me a favor? Yeah. I said, pray about it
for 24 hours. And just really think it through.
Do you believe God wants you to go to that? Well,
Dad, you know, I know. Don't argue with me. Just
talk to God about it. I'm just asking you. And
again, you take that responsibility instead of
the power trip. I said no. What you want to do
is start helping them. You know, I want to buy
this. I want to go here. I want to do that. And
if you're not sure, but down deep in your heart,
you think, you know, it's probably not a very
good thing, but it won't kill them, whatever
they do. I always wanted to give them a lot more
rope and say, why don't you pray about it? We'll
hear more from Chip Ingram's message in just
a moment. First, we're inviting you to multiply
your year -end donation through an exciting match
that's active right now. Because of the match,
your donation will be matched dollar for dollar
in the month of December. And when you support
this match, you're not funding yesterday's methods.
You're investing in a discipleship strategy that
actually reaches the smartphone generation right
where they are. Will you give to the next generation?
Double the impact of your gift at livingontheedge
.org. From a series called Leaving a Legacy That
Lasts Forever. and our Bible teacher, Chip Ingram.
And by the way, this parental thing we have of
wanting to protect our kids from pain is not
real smart. What you want to do is not protect
them from small pain so it hurts really badly.
You know, like, gosh, I just spent $25 on this
wacky thing and it looks seared dumb and now
I wore it to school and it wasn't even cool and
I blew $25. Good. Or, you know, I decided to
go on this thing and, man, everyone did this
terrible stuff and I wish I would have never
there. And good. See, if you always tell them
what to do and you always keep them inside your
bounds, then what happens is they can't wait
to get away to go try some stuff. So you want
to develop them hearing God's voice. You want
to model for them how to get wisdom, how to discern.
Another practical thing with your kids is, you
know that little clicker when you're watching
something? As much as I'll talk a little bit
later about limiting media. My kids, it was like,
I believe every moment is a teachable moment.
And you don't go overboard. But I mean, okay,
you're watching the Super Bowl, right? And so
these commercials come on. And I mean, they've
spent, what, how many zillion dollars to create?
This commercial, they're paying $1 .5 million
for 30 seconds. And there's a girl that she's
got it cut down to here and pushed up to there
and pulled down to here. And another guy that's
been on steroids and he's got his chorus light
and this, that, this, that. And the music comes
on, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. And they stop. Okay,
before we watch the rest of the game, what was
the message of that? Okay, where are they coming
at us and why? What are they selling to us? What
do you think? Okay, why do you think she's dressed
that way? Okay, why does he have that? What's
the message? And you, what are you doing? You're
helping him discern good from evil. And then
you watch this real soaky movie and it makes
you cry and it's really good and it's really
warm and there's no sex in it and there's no
violence in it. The only problem is in this movie,
the person that you identify with is married
to this not very nice person. And so this person
married to the not very nice person falls in
love with someone else and they have an affair
and there's music and they're going out and da
-da -da -da -da -da -da and we're all crying
and thinking, oh, I'm glad she finally found
love in her life and it was a popular movie and
everyone loves it. And you stop the thing. And
you say, wait a second. a second. Wait a second.
I got sucked in just like you, but what did she
do? I mean, we all love her, and she was the
pretty one, and you know, the music was really
playing, and all the violins, and you know, her
life was so hard before, right? You know. Okay,
let's rewind. It's called adultery. So how does
that play out in real life? Let's go through
some families in the church where someone committed
adultery. Let's remember what that looked like.
Let's remember what it did to them. Do you understand
what I'm saying? That's what you do. So it's
not a classroom. It's every moment. Now, by the
way, don't stop at every commercial. Some of
your kids are going, hey, you know, get out of
here. But you get it. Finally, teach them to
monitor their exposure to the media. Teach them
to monitor. their exposure to the media. Romans
12, 2, we touched on it earlier. Do not be conformed
to this world, this present world system, not
the physical world. It's the cosmos. It's the
world system, and 1 John tells us what it's made
of, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes,
and the pride of life. The way to help your kids
is this is like Fortune, Cosmo, and People magazine.
Okay, that's the world. If you can have her body
like that, Cosmo or 17 or what else, then or,
you know, Muscle Magazine, Men's Fitness, you
get tight abs, baby, in six seconds a day, you
know, and with the right drugs. Or people, if
you can just be famous, right? The whole goal
is to be an American idol. I'm going to be famous.
I want people to know me. I will say ridiculous
things on TV. I will go on reality shows and
make a complete fool of myself doing things with
a camera that I would never do privately, even
in my own home. But I have to because I'm on
TV. And isn't that like the epitome of all of
life? I'm famous now. No, you're an idiot now.
But your kids, your grandkids, the people you're
discipling are getting boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom. They're bombarded. And so when they go
to buy something, what is it? You know, the clothes
are that way. The media is that way. The magazines
are that way. You will never be whole and healthy
instead of being deceived and seduced unless
you say, stop allowing yourself to be molded
by this world system. So you gotta put a real
barrier in media and how much you watch and what
you watch. My kids heard it a zillion times and
the people I've had an opportunity to help disciple.
What you allow to go into your mind is the most
important decision you make every day. Way more
than what goes into your mouth. Like my wife
is really healthy. This is organic and this doesn't
have any pesticides. I mean, we're really into
eating good, healthy things. But boy, you gotta
put healthy stuff in your brain. You are the
product of your thought life. You understand
that. As a man thinks, as a woman thinks in his
heart, so you become. You watch enough TV. You
rent enough videos. You glance through enough
magazines. It will create desires that you can
never fulfill and you'll never be satisfied and
you'll get sucked in and the lure riding and
bam. And so, and by the way, when you live this
kind of life, this is where people will start
thinking you're weird. Because we're living in
a day where, according to Barna, I don't know
how accurate, but according to Barna, about one
out of every 10 or one out of every 12 people
who say, I'm a Christian, I'm born again, I pray
to receive Jesus Christ as my Savior, about one
out of every 10 or 12 are living the life. The
others have either a mental or, now I'm not saying
they're not believers, I don't know. I'm just
saying that they may have the living spirit of
the living God living in them, but Their external
behavior, their values, their honesty, their
commitment to marriage, their lifestyle, their
speech, their priorities, and their values are
exactly the same as their non -Christian friends.
Because you are what you eat. And if you don't
believe me, this is a mature group, so I will
go way out on the limb. For you younger ones
who want a mild challenge, go on a three -day
media fast. Okay, no rent, no TV, don't get on
surf the internet, media fast. Get in the car,
no talk radio. You know, you can, positive music,
teaching, okay, three days, no TV, no media.
You'll get antsy. Some of you will find you have
an addiction because when you walk in, you turn
it on. Some of you are like me that when I do
watch TV and as soon as a commercial comes on
board, so I can watch four shows at one time
to relax, of course. And then I'm exhausted when
I'm done. I mean, I have to be this game, this
game, this game. Ohio State's doing this and
this and part of this movie. You go on a three
-day media fast. And I will tell you, you will
be, one, you'll have all this time you didn't
think you had. Go on a 10 -day media fast. For
some of you, you'll try and it'll be scary because
you can't do it. Go on a 10 -day media fast,
then sit down. and watch just general primetime
TV, you will be shocked. That's how desensitized
we've become. You'll be shocked at what comes
out of people's mouth. You'll be shocked at the
sexual innuendo. You'll be shocked at, and you'll
see stuff that you've grown accustomed to in
terms of how people are dressed and different
things that will stir your flesh that doesn't
even register now. And it's the classic, what's
the illustration that you put the frog in the
water and if you heat it up real slowly, it won't
jump out. We've got a whole generation that ain't
jumping out. And here's the sadness. Then we
reap the consequences. Even though it's not a
willful, volitional, I hate God sin, you just
reap the consequences of an unwhole and unholy
life. Because holiness is the demand of God to
keep his universe healthy. So there's consequences
when I put junk in my mouth, junk in my head.
It creates a set of desires. And so... Limiting
the video games, the violence, the sexuality.
I mean, you are just going to be a spiritual
salmon swimming upstream with your fellow friends
and other people thinking you are wired. Now,
is this never watched TV? Of course not. This
is really asking yourself, is this good, honorable,
right, praiseworthy? Is this in Philippians 4,
8? Does this draw me closer to God or pull me
farther away? And by the way, for me, sometimes
it's just good stuff. I just have a limit. After
about two hours of TV, even a great game, I love
sports. I just find I get spiritually desensitized.
And I'm different than you. I don't know, maybe
some of you can take a lot more than me. But
if you take seriously what goes into your mind,
and then substitute it, you will see dramatic
life change. Dramatic life change. What's the
message? Living holy lives is how we get God's
best. Holy living allows you to experience God's
best for your life. Let's move holiness out of
this idea of the otherworldly, dark robes, something
weird. And let's move it into becoming whole,
healthy, pure, winsome, loving, and receiving
that life that God has in every relationship,
in every area of your life. This is Living on
the Edge with Chip Ingram. Chip is presenting
a practical teaching series called Leaving a
Legacy That Lasts Forever. Have you ever walked
into a full restaurant and looked around only
to find every diner staring into their cell phone?
Maybe notice that kids, even while gathered in
a group, are preoccupied with their headphones
on. It's the way our world operates these days.
And at Living on the Edge, we're adopting every
technology available so that we can speak into
the lives of this next generation. Chip? Here's
the reality. The next generation isn't going
to discover faith by accidentally walking into
a church building. They're going to encounter
it on a podcast during a morning run or on YouTube
video at midnight when they can't sleep or a
Bible study app while they're waiting for the
barista to make their coffee. Living on the Edge
meets young people in the digital spaces where
they actually live. We're creating content that's
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24 -7. God has sustained living on the edge for
three decades because people like you said yes.
Now we're asking again, but with a twist. Thanks
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impact, double reach, and here's the most important
part, double transformation. Our most fruitful
years are ahead. And when you support this match,
you're not funding yesterday's methods. You're
investing in a discipleship strategy that actually
reaches the smartphone generation right where
they are. Thank you, Chip. Several friends of
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visit livingontheedge .org. How do we teach our
kids and grandkids about the glories of grace?
Well, I'm Dave Drewy. Chip Ingram describes grace
-filled living Friday on Living on the Edge.