WEBVTT 00:00:01.389 --> 00:00:04.190 Today on Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. 00:00:04.290 --> 00:00:07.110 Let me ask you a question. Do you have memories 00:00:07.110 --> 00:00:09.689 that are so painful and difficult that you've 00:00:09.689 --> 00:00:12.050 become an expert at actually shoving them down 00:00:12.050 --> 00:00:14.109 so you don't have to think about them? Would 00:00:14.109 --> 00:00:16.429 you like freedom from that pain? Would you like 00:00:16.429 --> 00:00:18.789 to see some real positive results come out of 00:00:18.789 --> 00:00:21.129 the suffering in your life? Today I'm going to 00:00:21.129 --> 00:00:24.410 share four insights that can transform how you 00:00:24.410 --> 00:00:29.079 respond to suffering. That's today. If you only 00:00:29.079 --> 00:00:32.880 had 365 days left to live, what would you pass 00:00:32.880 --> 00:00:35.520 on to those you love most? Not your money or 00:00:35.520 --> 00:00:38.380 possessions, right? It would be wisdom, faith, 00:00:38.560 --> 00:00:41.119 and values that would sustain them long after 00:00:41.119 --> 00:00:43.759 you're gone. Well, today on Living on the Edge, 00:00:43.939 --> 00:00:46.700 Chip Ingram confronts a sobering reality. We've 00:00:46.700 --> 00:00:49.179 spent more time planning our financial inheritance 00:00:49.179 --> 00:00:52.979 than our spiritual one. He challenges us to intentionally 00:00:52.979 --> 00:00:56.020 transfer what matters most, starting with the 00:00:56.020 --> 00:00:59.280 hardest lesson of all. Spoiler alert, life is 00:00:59.280 --> 00:01:01.820 going to hurt, betray, and test those we love. 00:01:02.000 --> 00:01:04.439 The question isn't whether they'll face suffering, 00:01:04.579 --> 00:01:07.060 but whether we've equipped them to respond with 00:01:07.060 --> 00:01:10.400 faith. And then just after today's message, Chip 00:01:10.400 --> 00:01:12.819 will explain a fabulous opportunity to participate 00:01:12.819 --> 00:01:15.980 in the match that's available right now. When 00:01:15.980 --> 00:01:17.959 you give to Living on the Edge, it'll be doubled 00:01:17.959 --> 00:01:21.099 in size and impact. Well, back to the series, 00:01:21.239 --> 00:01:26.189 Leaving a Legacy that Lasts Forever. Transferable 00:01:26.189 --> 00:01:28.730 concept number one, and this may sound strange, 00:01:28.989 --> 00:01:33.209 but teach them to suffer well. Teach them to 00:01:33.209 --> 00:01:38.750 suffer well. We have raised a generation of people, 00:01:38.790 --> 00:01:42.290 when they think of suffering, the only concept 00:01:42.290 --> 00:01:44.730 they can think of is how to get out of it, how 00:01:44.730 --> 00:01:48.609 to limit it, and how to avoid it. Those whom 00:01:48.609 --> 00:01:52.510 you love, how will they respond to suffering? 00:01:52.769 --> 00:01:55.400 Because they're going to get it, right? Someone's 00:01:55.400 --> 00:01:57.579 going to walk out on them. Someone's going to 00:01:57.579 --> 00:01:59.760 betray them. Someone's going to talk about them. 00:02:00.079 --> 00:02:01.959 Someone's going to steal their money. Someone's 00:02:01.959 --> 00:02:06.159 going to talk about them in church. Right? Some 00:02:06.159 --> 00:02:08.879 of them are going to get cancer. Some drunk driver's 00:02:08.879 --> 00:02:11.060 going to go left to center. Some of them are 00:02:11.060 --> 00:02:14.099 going to have a kid that dies prematurely. So 00:02:14.099 --> 00:02:17.740 are they prepared? I mean, in your spiritual 00:02:17.740 --> 00:02:21.419 will, do you have phase number one? I will teach 00:02:21.419 --> 00:02:24.860 them to suffer well. Now I'm going to give some 00:02:24.860 --> 00:02:26.960 real practical ways about how to do that. Before 00:02:26.960 --> 00:02:30.199 I do, I want to ask you a question. How do you 00:02:30.199 --> 00:02:35.319 respond to suffering? How do you respond to injustice? 00:02:36.740 --> 00:02:39.180 How are you responding to some things your ex 00:02:39.180 --> 00:02:43.800 -mate has done to you? How have you responded 00:02:43.800 --> 00:02:47.900 to losing your retirement? How have you responded 00:02:47.900 --> 00:02:50.219 to the false accusations that were made about 00:02:50.219 --> 00:02:54.050 you at work or at church? How have you responded 00:02:54.050 --> 00:02:56.650 to a physical infirmity that just seems unfair 00:02:56.650 --> 00:02:58.750 and no matter what you do, you just can't get 00:02:58.750 --> 00:03:03.050 your health back? Because here's the deal. Here's 00:03:03.050 --> 00:03:09.610 how life works. A disciple is not above his teacher. 00:03:11.169 --> 00:03:13.990 And when a disciple is fully trained, Luke 640, 00:03:14.210 --> 00:03:17.759 he'll be just like his teacher. And I would like 00:03:17.759 --> 00:03:19.520 to say that the way you do this is you write, 00:03:19.580 --> 00:03:21.939 learn to suffer well. I went to this seminar 00:03:21.939 --> 00:03:24.479 and here's the notes and here's how it works. 00:03:25.479 --> 00:03:27.080 But I got news for you. You know how they're 00:03:27.080 --> 00:03:29.639 going to respond to their suffering? The way 00:03:29.639 --> 00:03:32.780 they watch you. You cannot impart what you don't 00:03:32.780 --> 00:03:36.860 possess. Modeling everything we're going to talk 00:03:36.860 --> 00:03:40.060 about will be the most powerful means of communication 00:03:40.060 --> 00:03:42.939 because far more is caught than is ever taught. 00:03:44.869 --> 00:03:48.389 And so I've asked myself, so when I am suffering, 00:03:48.550 --> 00:03:52.509 do I blame others? Do I whine? Am I the topic 00:03:52.509 --> 00:03:54.530 of conversations? I'm a victim. It's difficult. 00:03:54.669 --> 00:03:56.990 He ran out on me. This guy did this to me. I 00:03:56.990 --> 00:03:59.409 can't believe this. It's Hollywood's fault. It's 00:03:59.409 --> 00:04:01.250 education's fault. It's the president's fault. 00:04:01.349 --> 00:04:03.189 It's Congress's fault. Well, now it's the Supreme 00:04:03.189 --> 00:04:05.750 Court's fault. Whine, whine, whine. Victim, victim, 00:04:05.849 --> 00:04:10.530 victim. Is that how you respond? Or is it denial? 00:04:12.230 --> 00:04:13.889 I'm just not going to think about this. I'm not 00:04:13.889 --> 00:04:15.530 going to talk about this. I'm just going to bury 00:04:15.530 --> 00:04:19.970 it. Or is it anger? Bitterness? Lashing out? 00:04:21.490 --> 00:04:23.649 Or is it guilt? You know, some people respond 00:04:23.649 --> 00:04:25.810 to suffering. I know I did something terrible. 00:04:25.889 --> 00:04:27.470 I'm the most terrible person in the world. It's 00:04:27.470 --> 00:04:29.389 all my fault. I mean, you know, there's the whole 00:04:29.389 --> 00:04:32.449 cosmos, but it's really all your fault. And then 00:04:32.449 --> 00:04:34.509 you live with this guilt and then you pass that 00:04:34.509 --> 00:04:37.569 on and your kids or disciples or grandkids or 00:04:37.569 --> 00:04:40.449 friends, they suffer in the way they watch you. 00:04:40.589 --> 00:04:42.629 And if you're a whiner, they whine. If they feel 00:04:42.629 --> 00:04:46.029 guilty, like watch you, they feel guilty. If 00:04:46.029 --> 00:04:48.310 you're a blamer and a screamer and a bitterer 00:04:48.310 --> 00:04:49.930 and a denier, that's what you're gonna produce. 00:04:51.750 --> 00:04:54.910 So as much as we're gonna talk about how to pass 00:04:54.910 --> 00:04:57.050 on the things that matter most, there's gonna 00:04:57.050 --> 00:04:59.449 be a pretty heavy duty application about asking 00:04:59.449 --> 00:05:02.740 a pretty gut level question. is, boy, I need 00:05:02.740 --> 00:05:06.399 to suffer well. I need to manage my wealth wisely. 00:05:06.560 --> 00:05:08.819 I need to work unto the Lord. I need to make 00:05:08.819 --> 00:05:12.439 great decisions, right? I need to be what I want 00:05:12.439 --> 00:05:17.600 them to become. Now, that's sobering, but here's 00:05:17.600 --> 00:05:22.180 the deal. You can't do it, right? I can't either. 00:05:22.399 --> 00:05:27.379 It's impossible. But Christ can do it in you. 00:05:27.879 --> 00:05:30.300 And Christ can do it through you. You know, sometimes 00:05:30.300 --> 00:05:32.139 we listen to these commands of God and it's like, 00:05:32.199 --> 00:05:35.860 God, I can't do that. Yay! I mean, I'm thinking, 00:05:35.899 --> 00:05:38.759 now you're on the right track. So I need the 00:05:38.759 --> 00:05:40.920 strength of your word. I need the community of 00:05:40.920 --> 00:05:43.319 your people. I need to ask. I need to trust. 00:05:43.459 --> 00:05:47.259 I need to take steps. And when you do that, you 00:05:47.259 --> 00:05:50.680 can, by the power and the grace of God, suffer 00:05:50.680 --> 00:05:53.980 well. And they will watch that it's not you, 00:05:54.100 --> 00:05:56.920 but it's the Christ in you empowering you to 00:05:56.920 --> 00:05:58.620 do that. And that's really what you want to pass 00:05:58.620 --> 00:06:01.819 on, right? Now let's get real practical in terms 00:06:01.819 --> 00:06:04.540 of, okay, okay, I got the theology chip. Now 00:06:04.540 --> 00:06:06.180 how does this work? I mean, you know, roll up 00:06:06.180 --> 00:06:08.939 the sleeves with me. How do you grow through 00:06:08.939 --> 00:06:11.560 suffering? Okay, I know I need to do it. I need 00:06:11.560 --> 00:06:14.819 to pass this on to kids and disciples, to coworkers, 00:06:15.259 --> 00:06:18.540 church members, men's groups. Okay, how do you 00:06:18.540 --> 00:06:21.199 do it? Let me give you. you know, four real practical 00:06:21.199 --> 00:06:25.120 ways. Number one, teach them to face it, to identify 00:06:25.120 --> 00:06:29.839 what they're concerned about. Teach them to face 00:06:29.839 --> 00:06:32.519 it. I mean, it sounds so basic. Help them to 00:06:32.519 --> 00:06:35.279 identify, and here's the key word, what they're 00:06:35.279 --> 00:06:38.459 concerned about. We all tend to repress. We all 00:06:38.459 --> 00:06:41.439 tend to avoid. We all tend to deny things that 00:06:41.439 --> 00:06:43.759 are difficult. And when we just do, we just push 00:06:43.759 --> 00:06:46.600 them down. And all the psychologists will tell 00:06:46.600 --> 00:06:51.279 us as we push down hard things. 95 % of all depression 00:06:51.279 --> 00:06:56.699 is anger turned inward. A lot of our migraines, 00:06:56.699 --> 00:06:59.439 a lot of our stomach problems, a lot of our health 00:06:59.439 --> 00:07:02.879 issues are we suffer and I don't wanna face it 00:07:02.879 --> 00:07:06.379 and so I push it down. And that's a pattern. 00:07:07.079 --> 00:07:09.060 You don't talk about that in things. You don't 00:07:09.060 --> 00:07:10.639 share anything. You don't ever, you know, in 00:07:10.639 --> 00:07:12.199 other words, anything you say where you're being 00:07:12.199 --> 00:07:13.860 honest about where you're struggling, like, hey, 00:07:13.920 --> 00:07:16.360 no complaining in this house. Hey, we're gonna 00:07:16.360 --> 00:07:19.009 be positive around here. Well, you need to be 00:07:19.009 --> 00:07:22.470 positive, but you also need to be honest. Help 00:07:22.470 --> 00:07:25.629 them think about it. Help them talk about it. 00:07:26.470 --> 00:07:29.310 Help them write it down. One of the most powerful 00:07:29.310 --> 00:07:31.850 questions I know, and around our supper table 00:07:31.850 --> 00:07:35.029 growing up, and with my wife on a regular basis, 00:07:35.089 --> 00:07:37.990 we still do this little exercise. Ask them this 00:07:37.990 --> 00:07:40.889 question, what are you concerned about? And then, 00:07:40.889 --> 00:07:42.709 by the way, don't fix it, don't interrupt, and 00:07:42.709 --> 00:07:44.990 don't tell them, you shouldn't be concerned about 00:07:44.990 --> 00:07:48.000 that, everything's gonna be okay, duh. That's 00:07:48.000 --> 00:07:50.879 not helpful. The goal is not that you fix it. 00:07:50.980 --> 00:07:53.459 What are you concerned about? Oh, nothing. Well, 00:07:53.519 --> 00:07:55.540 no, no. I mean, just tell me. I mean, say it's 00:07:55.540 --> 00:07:56.819 one of the kids. They're teenagers. What are 00:07:56.819 --> 00:08:00.959 you concerned about? I don't know. Well, I mean, 00:08:00.959 --> 00:08:02.980 you're in football trials. Are you concerned 00:08:02.980 --> 00:08:06.560 you might not make it? Yeah, maybe. Well, how's 00:08:06.560 --> 00:08:08.959 it going? Not very good. Well, how come? I dropped 00:08:08.959 --> 00:08:11.079 a bunch of passes in practice. Well, how are 00:08:11.079 --> 00:08:12.759 you feeling about that? Well, this young kid, 00:08:12.800 --> 00:08:14.240 he's only a freshman, man. He was catching them. 00:08:14.779 --> 00:08:17.180 What are you concerned about? And they shut up. 00:08:17.680 --> 00:08:19.959 What are you concerned about? What else? What 00:08:19.959 --> 00:08:23.980 else? What else? I've grown kids now, and they 00:08:23.980 --> 00:08:25.500 have little kids, and I'm learning this. There's 00:08:25.500 --> 00:08:28.600 this new world. I like to hang out with my boys, 00:08:28.660 --> 00:08:30.319 and I've always been able to kind of talk, and 00:08:30.319 --> 00:08:32.480 we'd play basketball and do stuff, and then we'd 00:08:32.480 --> 00:08:34.759 be sweaty, and we'd sit down and talk. Well, 00:08:34.799 --> 00:08:36.120 now they've got these little kids, and every 00:08:36.120 --> 00:08:38.360 time I'm around, little kids, little kids, little 00:08:38.360 --> 00:08:43.179 kids. I haven't had a meaningful adult conversation 00:08:43.179 --> 00:08:45.500 with my sons in like a year and a half. I mean, 00:08:45.519 --> 00:08:47.120 you know, a snippet here, a snippet here. And 00:08:47.120 --> 00:08:49.019 Therese and I were talking about this, and so 00:08:49.019 --> 00:08:50.799 she came up with this plan. I'll have everyone 00:08:50.799 --> 00:08:53.580 over for dinner. And then, I don't know, it wasn't 00:08:53.580 --> 00:08:56.639 as well planned as I'm going to make this sound. 00:08:58.350 --> 00:09:00.350 the girls were kind of doing the dishes and this 00:09:00.350 --> 00:09:01.990 and that, and we cleaned things up, and they 00:09:01.990 --> 00:09:04.710 were in one room. And somehow, me and two of 00:09:04.710 --> 00:09:06.509 my sons ended up in the kitchen around one of 00:09:06.509 --> 00:09:08.570 those little counters. And we'd been talking. 00:09:08.570 --> 00:09:10.769 It's not like it's always superficial, but I'm 00:09:10.769 --> 00:09:13.309 kind of one of those language of love guys. I 00:09:13.309 --> 00:09:15.470 want to know what's really going on, you know? 00:09:15.610 --> 00:09:17.389 And when we don't get there, I just feel like 00:09:17.389 --> 00:09:20.009 we're going through the motions. And so it was 00:09:20.009 --> 00:09:21.830 a simple question. I turned to my oldest son. 00:09:22.190 --> 00:09:25.710 I said, you know, here in California, you moved 00:09:25.710 --> 00:09:29.559 out here a while, who's your best friend? And 00:09:29.559 --> 00:09:31.200 I mean, his face just changed. He goes, Dad, 00:09:31.340 --> 00:09:33.740 I don't have a best friend. He goes, I've started 00:09:33.740 --> 00:09:35.639 this new business. I got two young kids. I got 00:09:35.639 --> 00:09:37.960 an awesome wife. He said, Dad, I'm working from 00:09:37.960 --> 00:09:39.779 morning to night. I'm putting in all these hours. 00:09:39.960 --> 00:09:42.039 And you know, this guy wants to go surfing and 00:09:42.039 --> 00:09:43.820 this guy can be kind of spiritual. There's seven 00:09:43.820 --> 00:09:45.539 different people, but I don't have a guy named 00:09:45.539 --> 00:09:47.840 two good guys that we're real friends, that we 00:09:47.840 --> 00:09:49.679 can go deep spiritually, that want to go somewhere 00:09:49.679 --> 00:09:50.980 with their life, that want to be committed to 00:09:50.980 --> 00:09:52.740 their wife and want to be a good dad. I don't 00:09:52.740 --> 00:09:56.259 have that guy here. And then we got down to life. 00:10:00.370 --> 00:10:02.850 And then as we talked a little bit, I said to 00:10:02.850 --> 00:10:06.250 my other son, who's a pastor, and I said, what's 00:10:06.250 --> 00:10:08.429 the biggest challenge you're facing right now? 00:10:09.649 --> 00:10:12.309 And he gave me a little, you know, 25 % response. 00:10:12.690 --> 00:10:14.730 And then his other brother kind of had to leave. 00:10:14.830 --> 00:10:16.769 And there's dynamics always, I think, forever 00:10:16.769 --> 00:10:18.909 with brothers. And these guys are close and all 00:10:18.909 --> 00:10:22.129 that. And as they left, he started to share. 00:10:22.230 --> 00:10:24.169 And I realized he and I got talking. And they 00:10:24.169 --> 00:10:26.980 left. I didn't get to say goodbye. And he began 00:10:26.980 --> 00:10:29.879 for the next hour to unfold the biggest challenges 00:10:29.879 --> 00:10:33.039 in his heart, his ministry. And for an hour, 00:10:33.120 --> 00:10:36.600 man, we talked at a level that I haven't talked 00:10:36.600 --> 00:10:42.679 to him in a year. We'll hear more from Chip Ingram's 00:10:42.679 --> 00:10:45.179 message in just a moment. First, we're inviting 00:10:45.179 --> 00:10:47.980 you to multiply your year -end donation through 00:10:47.980 --> 00:10:50.620 an exciting match that's active right now. I'm 00:10:50.620 --> 00:10:53.080 sure you're watching the trend, and it is so 00:10:53.080 --> 00:10:55.789 exciting. I mean, all across our high schools 00:10:55.789 --> 00:10:58.909 and college campuses, there is a spiritual awakening 00:10:58.909 --> 00:11:01.850 taking place. Young men in particular, they're 00:11:01.850 --> 00:11:05.009 finding Jesus. The time to respond is right now. 00:11:05.250 --> 00:11:08.110 Living on the Edge is ready. There's never been 00:11:08.110 --> 00:11:11.149 a more important time to disciple the next generation. 00:11:11.529 --> 00:11:15.029 God is moving. We've created the resources. We 00:11:15.029 --> 00:11:18.330 have the game plan. 30 years of God's faithfulness 00:11:18.330 --> 00:11:20.909 and lots more to accomplish. God has sustained 00:11:20.909 --> 00:11:23.600 Living on the Edge for three decades. Because 00:11:23.600 --> 00:11:26.940 people like you said yes. Now we're asking again, 00:11:27.179 --> 00:11:29.960 but with a twist. Living on the Edge meets young 00:11:29.960 --> 00:11:32.779 people in the digital spaces where they actually 00:11:32.779 --> 00:11:35.340 live. Because of the match, your donation will 00:11:35.340 --> 00:11:37.779 be matched dollar for dollar in the month of 00:11:37.779 --> 00:11:40.059 December. Will you give to the next generation? 00:11:40.379 --> 00:11:43.179 Our most fruitful years are ahead. And when you 00:11:43.179 --> 00:11:46.120 support this match, you're not funding yesterday's 00:11:46.120 --> 00:11:48.870 methods. You're investing in a discipleship strategy 00:11:48.870 --> 00:11:52.009 that actually reaches the smartphone generation 00:11:52.009 --> 00:11:56.230 right where they are. Double the impact of your 00:11:56.230 --> 00:12:00.870 gift at livingontheedge .org. From a series called 00:12:00.870 --> 00:12:03.929 Leaving a Legacy That Lasts Forever. Again, our 00:12:03.929 --> 00:12:07.470 Bible teacher, Chip Ingram. Teach them to face 00:12:07.470 --> 00:12:09.289 it and identify what they're concerned about. 00:12:09.350 --> 00:12:14.460 Second, pray honestly about it. And pray with 00:12:14.460 --> 00:12:16.840 them. You need to model this. They can't hear 00:12:16.840 --> 00:12:20.019 all your good theologically sanitized, cleaned 00:12:20.019 --> 00:12:22.600 up prayers. Oh, Lord, I know that you are in 00:12:22.600 --> 00:12:25.820 control and that though it's a car wreck and 00:12:25.820 --> 00:12:28.120 they stole our money and we'll be in the hospital 00:12:28.120 --> 00:12:30.299 and they canceled our insurance, I just want 00:12:30.299 --> 00:12:32.720 to tell you, I just praise the Lord. I just want 00:12:32.720 --> 00:12:34.940 to tell you, Lord, that I know you're in, you 00:12:34.940 --> 00:12:40.009 know. When's the last time they heard you say, 00:12:40.309 --> 00:12:43.809 God, I'm ticked off, and it's unfair, and why? 00:12:44.110 --> 00:12:45.830 And I, you know, I've met with you, and I love 00:12:45.830 --> 00:12:47.730 you, and my priority's in order, and this, I 00:12:47.730 --> 00:12:51.169 don't get it. I don't get it. When's the last 00:12:51.169 --> 00:12:54.549 time they heard you pray the way Job prays? Hey, 00:12:54.649 --> 00:12:56.610 tell you what, Lord, come on, right now, let's 00:12:56.610 --> 00:12:58.990 argue about it. Man, I've kept myself pure, right 00:12:58.990 --> 00:13:03.120 now, right now, God. Or one of the lament psalms. 00:13:03.220 --> 00:13:06.379 Why have you forsaken me? Where are you, God? 00:13:06.519 --> 00:13:09.200 You've been unfaithful. I'm upset. I'm hurt. 00:13:09.360 --> 00:13:11.980 I mean, you hear David pray. He says stuff to 00:13:11.980 --> 00:13:16.960 God. You know what? He can handle it. You need 00:13:16.960 --> 00:13:23.500 to vent. I mean, reverently. But I'll tell you 00:13:23.500 --> 00:13:26.600 what. God is near to those who call upon him. 00:13:26.639 --> 00:13:30.320 Psalm 145, 18. To those who call upon him in. 00:13:30.639 --> 00:13:34.879 Truth. And when you hurt, bring the pain. When 00:13:34.879 --> 00:13:37.480 you're mad, bring the anger. The Lord is near 00:13:37.480 --> 00:13:39.360 to the brokenhearted. He saves those who are 00:13:39.360 --> 00:13:42.139 crushed in spirit. We play games. We think God 00:13:42.139 --> 00:13:44.559 doesn't understand what's going on. You don't 00:13:44.559 --> 00:13:47.879 connect with him until the real you shows up 00:13:47.879 --> 00:13:50.500 and you lay it all out and your disciples or 00:13:50.500 --> 00:13:52.419 your kids or your grandkids need to hear some 00:13:52.419 --> 00:13:56.379 prayers like that to know it's legal. And then 00:13:56.379 --> 00:13:59.659 God spoke to Job, didn't he? And boy, Job got 00:13:59.659 --> 00:14:03.889 a... A lot bigger God. And most of David's Psalms 00:14:03.889 --> 00:14:06.870 end with, and yet, oh Lord, when I look back, 00:14:06.889 --> 00:14:08.870 you've been faithful and I thank you and I praise 00:14:08.870 --> 00:14:10.809 you. And I didn't understand, but I had to share 00:14:10.809 --> 00:14:15.230 this. I had to get this out. That's how you learn 00:14:15.230 --> 00:14:20.669 to suffer well. Hebrews describes Jesus, who 00:14:20.669 --> 00:14:27.669 in his days on earth, with loud groaning and 00:14:27.669 --> 00:14:33.440 cries, Calling out to God. When's the last time 00:14:33.440 --> 00:14:35.440 you actually wept in the presence of the Lord? 00:14:36.039 --> 00:14:38.019 When's the last time you prayed with someone 00:14:38.019 --> 00:14:43.019 you cried together? This is very, very important. 00:14:43.980 --> 00:14:48.000 Third, help them to share where they're suffering 00:14:48.000 --> 00:14:52.419 with someone they trust. As wonderful as you 00:14:52.419 --> 00:14:57.820 are, and as wonderful as I am, of course. Sometimes 00:14:57.820 --> 00:15:01.139 you're not the right person to help them. Sometimes 00:15:01.139 --> 00:15:05.820 it's an area and it's a concern and they need 00:15:05.820 --> 00:15:11.000 someone else. And so you need to say, hey, point 00:15:11.000 --> 00:15:13.879 them to some mentors that are older or wiser. 00:15:14.960 --> 00:15:18.659 I praise God when my kids were teenagers that 00:15:18.659 --> 00:15:20.659 there was a youth pastor that was godly that 00:15:20.659 --> 00:15:22.159 they would tell stuff to him they'd never tell 00:15:22.159 --> 00:15:26.480 to me. There's times where one of my sons had 00:15:26.480 --> 00:15:28.440 a mentor in our church and he happened to be 00:15:28.440 --> 00:15:30.340 a counselor. And you know what? There were some 00:15:30.340 --> 00:15:34.799 issues that he was working through. I kind of 00:15:34.799 --> 00:15:37.759 think I know what some of them might be. They're 00:15:37.759 --> 00:15:39.460 the kind you're not really excited to share with 00:15:39.460 --> 00:15:42.860 your dad. And this guy and he, they'd meet and 00:15:42.860 --> 00:15:46.000 drink coffee and talk and share and then go surfing. 00:15:46.759 --> 00:15:50.279 I've watched my daughter with godly women involved 00:15:50.279 --> 00:15:54.000 in ministry just make connections. What you want 00:15:54.000 --> 00:15:56.000 to do is help orchestrate what God's doing, but 00:15:56.000 --> 00:15:58.360 you don't have to do it all. So mentors. Second 00:15:58.360 --> 00:16:03.279 is peers. And part of that is let them in on 00:16:03.279 --> 00:16:06.659 your struggles. I was talking with my son who's 00:16:06.659 --> 00:16:11.559 a songwriter and producer, and by God's grace, 00:16:11.620 --> 00:16:14.200 he's become extraordinarily successful, and he's 00:16:14.200 --> 00:16:17.399 now experiencing Oh, my lands, this person from 00:16:17.399 --> 00:16:19.419 American Idol wants to write music for me because 00:16:19.419 --> 00:16:21.379 she's a Christian, but I'm already booked, so 00:16:21.379 --> 00:16:24.100 I'm working from 7 until 4, and she's going to 00:16:24.100 --> 00:16:26.039 fly in for two days, and from 6 until 2 in the 00:16:26.039 --> 00:16:28.379 morning, I'm going to write with her. Well, then 00:16:28.379 --> 00:16:29.879 this is happening, and this is happening. God, 00:16:30.059 --> 00:16:33.240 Dad, what do you do when the blessing of God 00:16:33.240 --> 00:16:34.840 is like success? My priority is to get totally 00:16:34.840 --> 00:16:37.200 out of whack. I'm exhausted. I've got to build 00:16:37.200 --> 00:16:39.620 in some. And when we talked on the phone for 00:16:39.620 --> 00:16:42.399 45 minutes about, hey, son, been there and done 00:16:42.399 --> 00:16:45.289 that, let me just tell you something. those great 00:16:45.289 --> 00:16:48.649 opportunities are not like they're never going 00:16:48.649 --> 00:16:51.210 to come around again. It's a faith issue. And 00:16:51.210 --> 00:16:53.269 for people that are wired like you and me, Satan 00:16:53.269 --> 00:16:55.830 puts the brakes on some people to discourage 00:16:55.830 --> 00:16:58.009 him. And for people like us, I don't think the 00:16:58.009 --> 00:16:59.750 brakes will work. He just pushes on the gas pedal. 00:17:00.350 --> 00:17:03.110 And he gets people like you and me so overloaded 00:17:03.110 --> 00:17:07.890 doing really good things that we crash. And then 00:17:07.890 --> 00:17:13.230 I shared some crashes. And then finally, there's 00:17:13.230 --> 00:17:15.170 times where we need to direct them to a pastor 00:17:15.170 --> 00:17:17.650 or a professional counselor. Everybody gets stuck. 00:17:18.329 --> 00:17:20.450 And if you've ever been to one, make sure your 00:17:20.450 --> 00:17:23.049 kids, grandkids, disciples. When I teach on marriage, 00:17:23.170 --> 00:17:24.950 I always try in the first session to let everybody 00:17:24.950 --> 00:17:27.250 know in the first year and a half of my marriage, 00:17:27.329 --> 00:17:28.630 I had to go to marriage counseling. And then 00:17:28.630 --> 00:17:30.190 about five years later, I had to go back again. 00:17:30.730 --> 00:17:32.950 I just want to get that out on the table because 00:17:32.950 --> 00:17:35.309 somehow they think that if you really love God 00:17:35.309 --> 00:17:37.049 and you try really hard, we'd never need outside 00:17:37.049 --> 00:17:39.009 help. You need outside help when you're stuck. 00:17:39.710 --> 00:17:41.549 I mean, if I'm putting in a window, and I know 00:17:41.549 --> 00:17:42.809 a little bit about putting in windows, and I 00:17:42.809 --> 00:17:44.589 go down to Home Depot, and I get this, and I 00:17:44.589 --> 00:17:46.089 get this, and I get stuck, I don't go, oh, my 00:17:46.089 --> 00:17:47.849 gosh. Well, I've got to figure this all out myself. 00:17:49.369 --> 00:17:50.970 I'm going to go down and say, hey, you know, 00:17:51.029 --> 00:17:52.750 is there someone like with an orange vest that 00:17:52.750 --> 00:17:54.529 really knows about windows? Well, buddy, we've 00:17:54.529 --> 00:17:56.509 told you all that you know. Look, here's the 00:17:56.509 --> 00:17:58.930 name of Anderson Windows. This guy's a pro. Have 00:17:58.930 --> 00:18:01.150 him come out to your house. He's got to fix the 00:18:01.150 --> 00:18:03.349 thing that you messed up. I try to do windows. 00:18:03.410 --> 00:18:06.509 I can't do windows. So am I ashamed to ask an 00:18:06.509 --> 00:18:08.150 expert to get help when I'm stuck? Of course 00:18:08.150 --> 00:18:11.690 not. Your kids, your disciples, your grandkids, 00:18:11.789 --> 00:18:14.430 your friends, they need to know there's a time 00:18:14.430 --> 00:18:17.470 where, you know, go to a pastor, go to a professional 00:18:17.470 --> 00:18:20.029 counselor. And then finally, help them align 00:18:20.029 --> 00:18:23.210 specific scripture with their specific situation. 00:18:24.650 --> 00:18:26.230 Now, I'm going to give you some things here, 00:18:26.309 --> 00:18:28.109 and a lot of them are not in your notes, so I'll 00:18:28.109 --> 00:18:32.769 try and go slow. This is the key in terms of 00:18:32.769 --> 00:18:35.789 you want to match what are they going through 00:18:35.789 --> 00:18:39.839 with truth. Because it's as you trust the promises 00:18:39.839 --> 00:18:43.579 of God. That's what faith is, by the way. And 00:18:43.579 --> 00:18:47.740 it's by faith we experience God's grace. And 00:18:47.740 --> 00:18:49.839 suffering, imagine suffering is sort of like 00:18:49.839 --> 00:18:52.359 this overarching, you know, sort of like rainbow. 00:18:52.700 --> 00:18:55.220 But underneath of it, there may be four or five, 00:18:55.319 --> 00:18:57.640 maybe far more. There's different reasons we 00:18:57.640 --> 00:19:00.980 suffer. And if I suffer for this reason, here's 00:19:00.980 --> 00:19:03.660 the passage that I want, okay? Are you tracking 00:19:03.660 --> 00:19:05.940 with me? So let me give you just four or five 00:19:05.940 --> 00:19:09.000 examples. First, let's say I have a negative 00:19:09.000 --> 00:19:12.619 circumstances or a trial. Okay, the economy goes 00:19:12.619 --> 00:19:15.099 down. I had money, whether it's in retirement 00:19:15.099 --> 00:19:19.000 or for college education, and it's gone. Here's 00:19:19.000 --> 00:19:22.180 the passage, James chapter 1, verses 2 to 4. 00:19:22.740 --> 00:19:24.619 Consider it all joy when you encounter various 00:19:24.619 --> 00:19:26.839 trials, knowing the testing of your faith produces 00:19:26.839 --> 00:19:28.839 endurance. Let endurance have its perfect result 00:19:28.839 --> 00:19:35.059 that you might be lacking in nothing. So it's 00:19:35.059 --> 00:19:37.779 external circumstances. Okay, choose to have 00:19:37.779 --> 00:19:39.779 this kind of attitude. Realize there's a process 00:19:39.779 --> 00:19:43.140 God's going to take you through. Or second, how 00:19:43.140 --> 00:19:45.380 about refining your character? You know, you 00:19:45.380 --> 00:19:47.119 haven't done anything wrong. You're suffering. 00:19:47.200 --> 00:19:49.059 It doesn't make sense. But you sense you're really 00:19:49.059 --> 00:19:52.900 growing. Romans chapter 5, verses 1 to 5. Therefore, 00:19:52.960 --> 00:19:54.720 having justified by faith, we have peace with 00:19:54.720 --> 00:19:57.700 God. And we exalt in hope of the glory of God. 00:19:57.799 --> 00:20:00.180 And we exalt not only in this, but in our what? 00:20:00.589 --> 00:20:02.890 Tribulation, knowing that tribulation produces 00:20:02.890 --> 00:20:04.849 about perseverance and perseverance, proven character. 00:20:04.950 --> 00:20:09.750 Proven character produces hope and hope produces 00:20:09.750 --> 00:20:12.190 love as the Holy Spirit is poured into our life. 00:20:13.009 --> 00:20:15.670 There's certain times you're suffering because 00:20:15.670 --> 00:20:18.950 you're so precious in God's eyes that he's allowing 00:20:18.950 --> 00:20:22.289 a process of drawing you in intimacy and suffering. 00:20:22.529 --> 00:20:26.849 So you respond in gratitude of God's work. A 00:20:26.849 --> 00:20:28.609 third time you suffer is spiritual opposition. 00:20:29.640 --> 00:20:32.599 I mean, man, you're making tracks for God. You're 00:20:32.599 --> 00:20:34.460 sharing your faith. You've taken a new step of 00:20:34.460 --> 00:20:36.220 faith. You're getting in the Bible. You're taking 00:20:36.220 --> 00:20:38.759 a risk. You're saying, God, I'm going to do some 00:20:38.759 --> 00:20:41.059 stuff with my time and my money. And you are 00:20:41.059 --> 00:20:44.099 doing some things that is exposing the darkness. 00:20:44.259 --> 00:20:48.660 Well, Ephesians chapter 6, 10 through 18 teaches 00:20:48.660 --> 00:20:51.160 you how to deal with that kind of difficulty 00:20:51.160 --> 00:20:54.440 and suffering in spiritual warfare. Or sometimes 00:20:54.440 --> 00:20:57.019 what is persecution? You know, you stood up for 00:20:57.019 --> 00:20:59.259 Christ and, man, you're getting all this flack 00:20:59.259 --> 00:21:00.940 on a college campus or you're getting all this 00:21:00.940 --> 00:21:03.539 flack at work or you lose your job because, you 00:21:03.539 --> 00:21:05.359 know, you're a doctor and you won't do the abortion 00:21:05.359 --> 00:21:08.859 or you're a legal person and you won't lie about 00:21:08.859 --> 00:21:11.900 something in a situation. The passage, 2 Timothy 00:21:11.900 --> 00:21:16.819 3 .12. The promises for all those who desire 00:21:16.819 --> 00:21:19.180 to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be 00:21:19.180 --> 00:21:22.000 persecuted. And then finally, there's times where 00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:25.339 you're suffering because, like me, You make some 00:21:25.339 --> 00:21:30.380 bad choices, right? Or you just sin. You know, 00:21:30.400 --> 00:21:31.980 you say what you shouldn't have said. You thought 00:21:31.980 --> 00:21:33.339 what you shouldn't have thought. You did what 00:21:33.339 --> 00:21:35.240 you knew was wrong. And then there's consequences. 00:21:36.079 --> 00:21:38.119 And then you want to go to Romans chapter 6, 00:21:38.299 --> 00:21:40.619 where it talks about presenting your members. 00:21:41.720 --> 00:21:44.119 And then 1 Corinthians 10, 13, where no temptation 00:21:44.119 --> 00:21:46.390 has taken you, but such is common to man. But 00:21:46.390 --> 00:21:48.690 God will, with the temptation, provide a way 00:21:48.690 --> 00:21:51.230 of escape that you might be able to endure it. 00:21:51.250 --> 00:21:53.809 So what you want to do is begin to coach the 00:21:53.809 --> 00:21:56.730 kids, coach the disciple, coach the grandkid, 00:21:56.769 --> 00:21:59.349 coach the lady, coach the guy. What you want 00:21:59.349 --> 00:22:01.869 to pass on is, here is suffering. There's at 00:22:01.869 --> 00:22:04.170 least five different reasons, maybe more. And 00:22:04.170 --> 00:22:06.829 here's the promise you can hang on to. And here's 00:22:06.829 --> 00:22:10.910 the truth to apply, very specifically. Life message, 00:22:11.029 --> 00:22:16.490 very simple. Suffering is normal. That's what 00:22:16.490 --> 00:22:18.650 you want them to get. That's the message. When 00:22:18.650 --> 00:22:20.109 they're suffering, they want to say, oh, this 00:22:20.109 --> 00:22:23.670 is normal. It's not fun, but it's normal. It 00:22:23.670 --> 00:22:26.410 will be experienced by all. It will either make 00:22:26.410 --> 00:22:30.269 or break those we love. And so teach them to 00:22:30.269 --> 00:22:37.349 suffer well. This is Living on the Edge with 00:22:37.349 --> 00:22:40.130 Chip Ingram. Chip is presenting a practical teaching 00:22:40.130 --> 00:22:43.569 series called Leaving a Legacy that Lasts Forever. 00:22:44.170 --> 00:22:46.309 If today's message inspired you to learn more 00:22:46.309 --> 00:22:48.250 about guiding your children and grandchildren, 00:22:48.670 --> 00:22:51.250 it'll point you to a highly practical resource 00:22:51.250 --> 00:22:54.049 called Effective Parenting in a Defective World. 00:22:54.349 --> 00:22:57.349 This study guide includes a code to stream Chip's 00:22:57.349 --> 00:23:00.710 video teaching online, plus MP3s of the complete 00:23:00.710 --> 00:23:04.529 series. You'll find all the details at livingontheedge 00:23:04.529 --> 00:23:08.509 .org. Well, Chip, parenting is not for the faint 00:23:08.509 --> 00:23:11.109 of heart. And these days, grandparents often 00:23:11.109 --> 00:23:13.569 find themselves in roles they've never expected. 00:23:13.880 --> 00:23:16.440 as a guiding light for their grandkids. Thanks 00:23:16.440 --> 00:23:18.599 so much, Dave. You know, I hear from grandparents 00:23:18.599 --> 00:23:21.700 all the time that are actually heartbroken. Their 00:23:21.700 --> 00:23:24.059 grandkids grew up in the church or maybe even 00:23:24.059 --> 00:23:26.859 Christian school. They're now in college or they've 00:23:26.859 --> 00:23:29.460 graduated, starting their careers, and their 00:23:29.460 --> 00:23:31.980 face seems literally fading from the picture. 00:23:32.119 --> 00:23:34.460 Or I hear grandparents all the time who say, 00:23:34.599 --> 00:23:37.039 I don't get it. They grew up in church, but now 00:23:37.039 --> 00:23:38.819 they're living with their boyfriend or girlfriend, 00:23:38.980 --> 00:23:42.200 or they've changed their sexual identity. And 00:23:42.200 --> 00:23:45.019 I feel hopeless. I'm praying, but I don't know 00:23:45.019 --> 00:23:47.519 what to do. I don't know how to have a spiritual 00:23:47.519 --> 00:23:50.500 conversation. And then they meet us at Living 00:23:50.500 --> 00:23:52.819 on the Edge. And at Living on the Edge, we've 00:23:52.819 --> 00:23:55.700 become the bridge. Grandparents are listening. 00:23:56.430 --> 00:23:59.009 And we've been teaching them how to engage around 00:23:59.009 --> 00:24:02.289 today's questions with biblical answers and finding 00:24:02.289 --> 00:24:04.730 ways to really connect, to build a bridge to 00:24:04.730 --> 00:24:07.210 their grandkids, to talk their language, and 00:24:07.210 --> 00:24:09.769 to really listen. When you support this match, 00:24:09.930 --> 00:24:12.950 you're equipping the older generation to pass 00:24:12.950 --> 00:24:15.930 the baton of faith to the younger. Your gift 00:24:15.930 --> 00:24:18.990 today, are you ready? It secures tomorrow's impact. 00:24:19.589 --> 00:24:23.470 Because of this match, whatever you give is instantly 00:24:23.470 --> 00:24:26.740 doubled. But only during this campaign window 00:24:26.740 --> 00:24:31.140 will you make the most strategic gift ever. Our 00:24:31.140 --> 00:24:34.539 best days aren't behind us. They're ahead, and 00:24:34.539 --> 00:24:37.039 you're a part of that story. Living on the Edge 00:24:37.039 --> 00:24:39.500 is uniquely postured to help parents, grandparents, 00:24:39.759 --> 00:24:42.319 and their families, not only in North America, 00:24:42.400 --> 00:24:45.539 but all around the world as well. All that's 00:24:45.539 --> 00:24:47.480 standing in the way to succeed in this mission 00:24:47.480 --> 00:24:51.259 are the resources to do so. As you feel God nudging 00:24:51.259 --> 00:24:54.099 you to respond, please follow his leading. Whatever 00:24:54.099 --> 00:24:56.559 amount he places on your heart will be multiplied 00:24:56.559 --> 00:24:59.960 by two because of the match. To give right now, 00:24:59.980 --> 00:25:03.720 go to livingontheedge .org or call us at 888 00:25:03.720 --> 00:25:08.480 -333 -6003. To send a check in the mail, write 00:25:08.480 --> 00:25:12.759 to Living on the Edge, P .O. Box 3007, Atlanta, 00:25:13.000 --> 00:25:19.910 Georgia, 30024. You can also call 888 - 333 -6003. 00:25:20.029 --> 00:25:24.890 Or just visit livingontheedge .org. So what's 00:25:24.890 --> 00:25:27.390 the purpose of our career? To chase a paycheck? 00:25:27.769 --> 00:25:30.630 I'm Dave Drewy, inviting you to hear Chip Ingram's 00:25:30.630 --> 00:25:33.329 answer Thursday on Living on the Edge.