When you think of anger, do you almost always
think it's bad or wrong? Well, I've got news
for you. God actually commands us to be good
and mad. There's times when you ought to be angry.
Some people listening to my voice right now feel
guilty about being angry, and God wants you to
know you need to be angry at times for some very
specific reasons. Today, we'll talk about what
those are. Stay with me. Welcome to this edition
of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Our mission
is to inspire Christians to be genuine followers
of Jesus and to empower them to be active disciple
makers in our world. Well, today we'll begin
winding down our series, Overcoming Emotions
That Destroy, as Chip explores what it looks
like to successfully live out the verse, be angry,
but do not sin. But quickly, if Chip's teaching
has helped you understand this powerful emotion
and how to control it, take a minute after this
program and share this series with someone in
your life who may need to hear it. Now, you can
do that from livingontheedge .org or wherever
you listen to podcasts. Well, if you have a Bible,
go now to Ephesians chapter 4 as we settle in
for Chip's message, How to Be Good and Mad. There
are two words that rarely go together. In the
same sentence or in your experience, the two
words are good and mad. There's times where you're
good and there's times where you're mad, but
there's very few times where you're both good
and mad. And we're going to talk today about
how to be good and mad. As we bring this whole
series, you know, to a conclusion. I want to
move beyond just understanding anger, that it's
a red light on the dashboard. I want to move
beyond you recognizing, oh, anger wears many
masks. I'm a spewer, right? I'm a stuffer or
I'm a leaker. And you now know that. I want to
move beyond that. And I want to say that anger
is a channel that's a God -given emotion that
actually is to maximize your potential in Christ.
And so the goal of this series isn't simply to
help you quit blowing up. It's not simply to
help you psychologically get more healthy, although
that will happen. Get you to stop stuffing and
stop leaking. Our desire is that you would get
such a grasp on this gift of anger. It's an emotion
from God. that it would be a tool, a weapon,
and a resource designed to enable you to respond
in a very, very powerful way to evil in a fallen
world. And God wants you to be, I'm going to
go out on the limb, good, and he wants you to
be mad. And if you want to know how, turn in
your Bibles to Ephesians chapter 4, and you can
open your notes, same spot. But if you have your
Bibles, I'd like you to open that as well, because
I'm going to do a little bit more than just as
in your notes. As you read this classic passage,
we've said it, we've referred to it, but I want
to open it up, dig in, explain it, and apply
it. It says, be angry, command, and yet do not
sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger,
and do not give the devil an opportunity. And
with your Bible open and the notes here, I want
to give you a little context here. You know,
Ephesians 4 opens up and you have one, two, three
chapters of this is who you are in Christ. This
is what God has done. You have been forgiven.
You're his child. You have an inheritance. You've
been adopted. His spirit has sealed you. You've
been placed in the supernatural community called
the church. You have power. There is a plan.
What you are experiencing now is a mystery that
angels and prophets long to look into. And chapters
one, two, and three say, this is your a new position
in Christ. You're precious. You're loved. You're
adopted. The same spirit that raised Jesus from
the dead actually dwells in your physical body
if you've trusted Christ. And after telling you
who you already are, look at your Bibles. Look
at verse 1 of chapter 4. Therefore, I urge you
as a prisoner of the Lord to walk in a manner
worthy of his calling. The first three chapters
are what we believe and what we know is true.
The last three chapters are how we're to behave.
how we're to actually live. This is your worth
in God's sight. Chapters four, five, and six,
this is your walk in God's sight. And an interesting
word where it says walk in a manner, the word
worthy, we get our English word axis. It's the
picture of scales. And it's like, here's three
chapters of truth, truth, truth, truth, truth.
It's not trying hard. It's not being religious.
It's not keeping rules. It's not keeping your
nose clean. It's not giving a little money. It's
not giving the United Way. It's a personal relationship
with the living God based on the work of Christ
and his resurrection. You're a whole new person.
And this is what's true of you now. In view of
that truth, I want you by faith to appropriate
what you already possess so that your walk and
your truth progressively Tell the same story.
God's agenda for your life is for you to trust
him. That's the number one agenda. His goal in
every circumstance, in every pain. in every up,
in every down, in every anger issue, in every
job change, in every economic downturn, in every
blessing, is to help you to learn to believe
that he is actually God, that he actually loves
you, that his word is true, and that he in his
wisdom and love is orchestrating these events
so that you will trust him. And as you trust
him, he promises to give you everything you need,
not to get proud when the blessing comes, not
to give in when the adversity comes, but as you
trust him, he will form the very character of
the living Christ in you so that the Jesus who
lives in you in the power of the Holy Spirit
would manifest the very life of Christ to other
people. That's what Jesus meant when he said,
you are the light of the world. He didn't say,
try to be the light of the world. You are the
light of the world. You are the salt. Jesus didn't
say, go try and be my witnesses. He said, you
are my witnesses. And so in chapter 4, verse
1, it opens up and it tells you that. As you
would go through and just scan in your Bible,
what you see, it begins relationally in verses
2 and 3. And so it's not so much about activity.
It's about a relationship that you have with
God and with other people where it talks about
those key attitudes. And then in verses 7 to
10, he reminds you that this was accomplished
not by your effort, but what Christ did on the
cross. And he talks about his resurrection and
what he did declaring victory over demonic forces.
And then in verses 11 through 16, he says, you
can never do this on your own. It's impossible.
And so he gave apostles and prophets and evangelists
and pastors and teachers. They equip us regular,
ordinary saints, members, new Christians, old
Christians to do what? The work of the ministry
so that all of us one day will grow up. Look
at verse 13 in your Bible. To the measure of
the fullness of the stature of Christ, that you
would actually become progressively like Jesus.
And then he says, some of the evidences of being
like Jesus is part is relational and part is
doctrinal. No longer tossed here and there by
every wind of doctrine and the craftiness of
deceitful scheming. But speaking the truth in
love, you'll grow up in all aspects into him
who is the head, even Christ, by that which every
joint supplies according to the proper working
of each individual part that causes the growth
of the body of Christ. And it looks like love.
And then in verses 17 to 24, he'll say, there's
a process individually you have to go through
and it's hard. You're gonna have to put off the
old. You put off the old anger. You put off the
old bitterness. You put off some old habits.
You put off the old pornography. You put off
the old workaholism. You put off the old pleasing
people. You put it off, have your mind renewed.
That's what we've done in these sessions. And
then you put on. And by faith, you take some
very specific steps. And then in verses 25 to
32 of chapter four, He doesn't leave you thinking,
well, what should I put on? He says there's five
key areas that will develop who you are. And
if you look at the structure very carefully,
beginning in verse 25 through the end of this
chapter, he phrases it, put off, mind renewed,
put on. And what he'll do is he'll walk you through
a process of honesty. He'll say, don't lie to
one another anymore. Put on truth. He'll talk
here about anger. Be angry, but don't sin. He'll
talk about behaviors. He'll talk about attitudes.
And he'll even talk about speech. And so he literally
develops a going into training to see lived in
and out of you. And he starts talking about you
got to be honest. You got to deal with these
emotions that sabotage things. No unwholesome
word proceeding out of your mouth. Let all bitterness
and wrath. Get away. He who steals, don't steal
anymore until you start to work. And he gives
us five very specific areas that as you put them
on, you begin to grow and become more and more
like Christ. And then chapter five begins to
open up and talks about the tension there is
and the need for love and how we're tempted to
try and fulfill it with sex because it's pseudo
intimacy. And then he'll tell us that, no, really
you need to be filled with the spirit. And in
this new walk by being filled with the spirit,
the way it works out is first in those most intimate
relationships with him. and then your marriage,
and then with children, and then your work, and
then chapter six will end and say, and all this
happens in a hostile environment that's filled
with spiritual warfare and demonic forces trying
to take you out. I went through that for one
reason. I do not want you to leave this series
going. Okay, overcoming emotions to destroy.
I have some anger issues. I think I wear the
stuffer mask. No, I wear the leaker mask. I'm
a spewer. I know I need to change. This will
really help me become more psychologically healthy.
I think this will improve all my relationships.
I'm going to be a much nicer person. I'm so glad
I went. That's not the purpose. Those are all
the side benefits. You're listening to Living
on the Edge. Before we continue today's program,
let me ask you, is anger devastating your relationships
with your family, spouse, or co -workers? Join
us after Chip's message to learn more about our
valuable small group resource for this series.
Stick around to discover how to confront this
powerful emotion and harness it for good. But
for now, here again is Chip to continue today's
message. This gift, this tool, this weapon of
anger that can be used for evil or for good to
transform your life to make you like Christ.
That's what's at stake. That's what's at stake.
It's not about getting along with your mate.
It's not about stopping offending people. That
is what the context of this passage is. And let
me give you just a quick little overview, and
I need to... Probably stay at least close to
the notes. The command is God commands us to
express our anger, right? Be angry. Notice second,
God commands us to express our anger appropriately.
So be angry, but don't sin. So don't, it's a
sin to stuff it and not deal with issues. It's
a sin to leak it. It's a sin to put on a mask
and blow up on people. So he says, you're to
be angry. It's a powerful weapon and tool, but
it's like a shovel. You can use it to dig and
make progress or bang people over the head. He
says, don't bang people over the head. Use it
as a tool to dig and see what God's doing and
even be a resource of motivation. So we've looked
at three ways that we express anger. I wanna
give you a fourth one. And then I wanna talk
about how to do some very deep repair. We said
we express our anger by spewing, one. We said
we express it by stuffing, two. We said we express
it by leaking, three, passive aggressiveness.
I'd like to suggest that the Bible gives us a
fourth, indignation. It's not in this text, but
it's just a little one on indignation. Write
down, if you would, three passages. You can check
them out later. Mark chapter three, Matthew chapter
23. and Mark chapter 11. Each one of these is
the life of Christ, and it is a powerful, powerful
picture of how God wants to use anger. In Mark
chapter 3, he's in a synagogue. And he's being
attacked, and he's done some healing on the Sabbath.
He's done some things on the Sabbath. And people
are so narrow. This is what religion does. We
get so narrow, all we can see is the means, and
we forget the end. And so there's a fellow there
that needs to be healed. And they're waiting.
Is he going to heal him today so we can catch
him? Like, can you imagine thinking, wow, this
guy is going to miraculously heal and restore
someone's life, and all they can focus on is
what day he's going to do it so they can whack
him? I mean, that sounds really crazy until we
look at some of the stuff we do. But I want you
to notice a word there. As they were preparing
to catch him, and Jesus says, knowing their hearts,
he was angry. Jesus was angry with the hardness
of their heart. He was angry that their religion
and their control and their traditions had nullified
the truth of God. And after it says he is angry,
he says to the man, come on up here, we're gonna
get this done today. In Matthew 23, so we have,
he's visibly angry. In Matthew 23, we have a
picture of him being extremely frustrated. And
he talks to the religious leaders. And he's built
his case, and he's lived the life, and he's done
the miracles, and he's given the Sermon on the
Mount. And finally, these blind guides that are
leading all these people astray, he just rips
it out. You brood of vipers, you blind guides,
you whitewashed tombs. By the way, that's how
he preached it. Sometimes we read the Bible like,
you know, Jesus meek and mild, picture in the
Sunday school. Jesus, here he is against these...
You blind guides, you vipers. You terrible, terrible
people. He was mad. He had people telling people
this is the way of life and leading them to the
way of death. And I want you to know, yeah, you
can spew, you can stuff, you can leak. God wants
you to get indignation. about injustice and about
people that are hurting and things that are wrong
and be willing to stand up and take the flag.
There's a reason they crucified him. It was for
speeches like this. And then finally, he didn't
just have visible anger. He just didn't have
frustration and verbal anger. If you go to Mark
11, he has physical anger. And he walks into
his father's house and I think he just, I've
just had it. It was righteous. I've had it. I
can't take it anymore. Get out of here. And I
mean, he began to turn over the tables and kick
people out. And that's a Jesus that we're not
real comfortable with. But that's the Jesus that
lives in you. But if you believe that anger is
wrong, you'll never get indignation. That's why
we looked at the passage. What's Ephesians 4
.26 say? It's a command. Command, be angry. Question,
are you angry? And are you angry with the right
stuff? Okay, in your anger, it's powerful. You
gotta be careful. Don't sin. And we'll talk about
that. I wanna show you the power of this little
excerpt as we were thinking about how to help
people grab this. In 1980, a loving mother got
angry. Someone had too much to drink. He'd been
on a three -day binge, veered off a neighborhood
road and struck a 13 -year -old girl. The life
of this mother's young teenager was instantly
snuffed out. The mother, Candice Leitner, was
devastated, ripped open by grief. But after her
grief, she got mad. She got really mad. She did
research and found out that there were more deaths
every single year in alcohol -related accidents
in America than all the young men that were ever
killed in Vietnam. She was enraged. She decided
immediately to start mad. Capital M, capital
A, capital D, capital D. Mothers Against Drunk
Drivers. It may have started small, but now there's
chapters all over the United States. The organization
is lobbied hard and laws have been changed, largely
due to the efforts of MAD. Thousands of lives
have been saved, all because a heartbroken, angry
woman let her anger be known. Candice Lightner
didn't seek revenge against the drunk driver
who killed her daughter. She didn't lash out,
destroy property or people. Nor did she remain
in her grief, stuffing the anger down deep inside.
She didn't self -destruct. Instead, she expressed
her anger. She got it out appropriately in ways
that were constructive rather than destructive.
And that's what we're commanded to do. Can I
just ask you, just... I'm not going to ask you
to go, you know, start an organization, but can
I just ask you to think about what is it that's
kind of going on in the world, but more in your
world, that it's just wrong. You know what I
mean? It's just wrong. I mean, it's just, and
you know what? Sometimes we think, well, I can't
do everything. Of course you can't do everything.
I don't think God wants you to do everything.
And if I watched the news and saw everything
was wrong, I get depressed. I really limit how
much time I can watch the news. The names change.
It's all the same junk. And now with all the
cable stations, they tell me way more information
than I need to know to put in my head because
they're all competing for sensational stuff.
But there's certain things that really bug me.
They make me angry. And for some, it's the plight
of... Unwed moms, and for others, it's alcoholics.
For others, it's people. We got a brother here
that I'll tell you, I tell you, he's passionate.
He's passionate about people getting off of heroin.
What bugs you? What makes you mad? And praise
God, I suppose, I'm not sure, for talk radio,
but I think we've substituted talking about what
ought to happen and expressing our anger for
doing something. This is terrible. Could you
hear this? Now here's this. Now it's this. This
is a terrible thing. This happened. Are you aware
of it? Well, do something. Just shut up and do
something in your area. And so I would just encourage
you to say, God, what is it that I can't let
go? Don't manufacture something. But get your
heart open. Part of this, too, is we've been
brainwashed for about 30 or 40 years. It's very
subtle that basically the whole Christian life
is about you being happy and you being well -adjusted
and Jesus is going to take care of you. And if
you really do things God's way, your marriages
are going to be great and your kids turn out
right and you'll be financially mobile and they'll
get better education than you. And, you know,
the whole world's going to get better someday,
someway. And that's a bunch of garbage. To every
person who longs to live for Jesus Christ, you
will be persecuted. Consider it all joy when
you counter various trials. Now, you know what?
The fact is God in his great grace, when you
walk with him, it really does give you a lot
better marriage. And when you create an environment,
a lot of your kids will walk with God. That's
not the goal. We've made all the benefits the
goal. The goal is you're on this little planet
for a small amount of time. To what? Reflect
Christ, make him known, see people come to know
him, see them mature, and model this. And what
happens is now we take all these verses and we
rearrange them, and then we get really mad at
God when pain comes into our life and cancer
comes into our life and difficulty comes into
our life. And, you know, it rains on the just
and the unjust. I don't know about you, but I
have a lot of friends that have lost 30 % or
40 % of their net income, just like all the unbelievers.
Now it's an opportunity to show them, so how
do Christians respond to that? So I'm not against,
I mean, I'm all for all the great benefits of
God, but I think we've so subtly, so subtly,
we don't get mad because the real issue that
we're concerned about is how does our life work
out? You know, I hear people say, it's not about
me, it's not about me, it's about God. Okay,
well, let's start living that one. Let's start
acting like, oh, with my money, it's not about
me. With my time, it's not about me. Ooh. With
my energy, it's not about me. And the thing is,
when that's your focus and you give, then you
have this counterintuitive thing where God does
give. And that's not just money. The passage,
by the way, Luke 6, 38 is not a financial passage.
He says, give and it'll be given unto you. Good
measure, pressed down, shaken together, running
over, back into your lap. But it's about giving
your life away, your time away, your energy your
way, your gifts away to do it, to do the will
of God, not to get God to do the will of you.
And see, that's the subtle thing that's happened.
And so part of being angry is, the temptation
is to go all the way through this and it become
one more little self -help thing. I'm really
glad I'm doing better on my anger. And I just
wanna say, I think God wants to use your anger
to get some really great stuff done. And you
know what? You don't have to start an organization
that's nationwide. What would happen if you got
angry about some junk in your church, in your
community? at your work. And you know, it doesn't
mean you get on a soapbox and act like an idiot
and say things. You're winsome, loving, pure,
kind, and tenacious. And you do the right thing.
And by the way, there's consequences. I mean,
that's the other thing. We somehow get this idea
that we're going to do life God's way and sort
of skip through it. There'll be pain. But what
do we do with all those verses like this present
suffering is not to be compared with the glorious
Right? So where did we start learning that the
goal of life is to be comfortable and never experience
pain? Now, by the way, I don't like pain any
more than you do, and I'm not going to jump into
it willfully. There's enough real good pain when
you do the will of God. But the apostle Paul
in his life, he had this weird view like, I want
to know the fellowship of his suffering. It's
in the pain and in the need that actually a lot
of the becoming like Christ occurs. So all I
wanted to do is give you a picture of maybe anger
as more than just helping you in your life, in
your personal world. This is Living on the Edge
with Chip Ingram. And you've been listening to
part one of Chip's message, How to Be Good and
Mad, from our series, Overcoming Emotions That
Destroy. Chip will be back shortly to share some
helpful application for us to think about. Have
you ever been told you have an anger problem?
Has your temper damaged or ruined a meaningful
relationship? Are the frustrations of daily life
weighing you down? Well let's be honest. Everyone
struggles to control this powerful emotion at
times. In this series, Chip reveals the common
ways anger manifests and shares practical biblical
solutions to rein it in before it destroys you
and your most treasured relationships. Don't
miss How to Be, as Jesus said, angry without
sinning. Well, Chip's back in studio with me
now. And Chip, you know, this series really speaks
to all of us. Because, you know, no one's exempt
from losing their temper or becoming angry. But
some of us handle it better than others. So what
would you say to that person who's concerned
about their anger but hasn't had the courage
to call it what it really is? Well, Dave, the
problem with anger... is that most of us try
and hide it. I mean, we have been brainwashed
into thinking that anger is bad, anger is a sin,
and we've experienced unrighteous anger toward
us that has caused us to say, I don't want to
go there, and I feel bad when I do go there.
So we mask it with things like, well, I'm just
really frustrated right now, or we have some
spiritual language, or we blame other people.
There's very few people that you'll hear say,
you know what, I'm really angry right now. And
I wonder what that means and what is God saying
to me and how do I deal with it? The power is
in getting these things on the table in a safe
environment. Anger destroys your relationship
with God. Anger cuts you off from people. Anger
causes you to stuff stuff. And the high percentage
of people that are depressed are around unresolved
anger issues. And so we've put this in the format
of a book. But the format that has been most
powerful is in a small group, Dave. I actually
lead this small group. We have a study guide
where people can follow along and then process
some issues. And then in a safe environment,
we have just heard amazing feedback of people
actually seeing that anger is something God uses
to change them instead of something that cuts
them off from God and others. So I really encourage
people to get on the journey with us and let
us help you overcome emotions that destroy. Thanks,
Chip. Well, to get your hands on this valuable
resource, visit livingontheedge .org. Dig into
this study with a group of friends and uncover
how anger may be impacting you and what you can
do to harness it to grow spiritually, emotionally,
and relationally. Get your hands on the overcoming
emotions that destroy small group today by going
to livingontheedge .org or by calling 888 -333
-6003. App listeners tap special offers. Well,
here again is Chip to share a final word. As
we close today's program, I want to speak to
two audiences. Audience number one is a group
of people that have felt guilty your whole life
every time you get mad. And so you stuff it and
you've got real issues because of that. I want
you to know, I want you to hear from God. There
are times to get angry, injustice, indignation,
children abused, people doing wrong things, people
who attack other people. And when they do it
to someone you love, you get angry and then you
feel guilty. I want you to know you need to work
through that. God doesn't want you to feel guilty.
In fact, he will often use that to spur you on
to make a difference. The second group I want
to talk to is people who, as I was talking, some
things went through your mind like, you know
something, there's some issues in our city and
it's bugged me. There's some issues in our company.
It's bugged me. You know what? There's some discrepancies
in our church that really bug me and they make
me angry, but I feel guilty and bad about it,
but I haven't done anything about it. Your anger
is the light God is putting on the dashboard
of your heart to say, flashing light. Do something
about it. Correct the injustice. Make a difference.
Step into the community. Here's his word to you.
Act on it. Pray about it. Bounce it off someone
you trust, but act on it. Be an instrument of
righteousness in a fallen world. Be good and
mad. Great advice, Chip. Thanks. As we wrap up,
I want to thank those of you who make this program
possible through your generous financial support.
Your gifts help us create programs, purchase
airtime, and develop additional resources to
help Christians live like Christians. Now, if
you've been blessed by the ministry of Living
on the Edge, Would you consider sending a gift
today? You can do that by visiting livingontheedge
.org or by calling 888 -333 -6003. Again, that's
888 -333 -6003 or visit livingontheedge .org.
App listeners tap donate. And please know how
much we appreciate your support. We'll listen
to next time as Chip wraps up his series, Overcoming
Emotions That Destroy. Until then, this is Dave
Drewy saying thanks for joining us for this edition
of Living on the Edge.