We hear a lot today about reducing stress and
the health benefits of living with less stress.
The question is, how do you do it? How do you
keep your cool when the pressure heats up? How
do you stop stress before it starts? Don't go
away. Thanks for being with us for this edition
of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Chip
serves as our Bible teacher for this global teaching
and discipleship ministry, helping Christians
develop an authentic faith. Well, in just a minute,
you'll hear the second half of Chip's talk, Learning
How to Stop Stress Before It Starts, which is
from our series, Overcoming Emotions That Destroy.
And be sure to keep listening after the teaching
as Chip shares some additional insights that'll
help you in your struggle to control anger. Don't
miss it. Well, with all that said, here's Chip
as he begins by continuing to unpack the ways
we can minimize stress. Let's get going. Number
four, admit mistakes and imperfections. If we
could just liberate one another, one of the core
values, we only have four at Living on the Edge,
and we did it with the acronym L -O -T -E. And
the L is for live it out. We just got to be what
we want others to become. And the O is for own
your stuff. Don't blame. Don't tell someone else.
It wasn't on time. It was, you're late. I love
it when someone says, one of the new guys that's
working with us, and I get this email. Hey, Chip,
sorry, man. Haven't done this in years. I thought
my plane was to leave at this time. It's no one
else's fault. I didn't look at the thing. I missed
my plane. I'll miss the meeting. I blew it. Sorry.
I wrote him an email back. I said, hey, Rick,
let me tell you this. You made my day. Thanks
so much. You didn't tell me it was someone else's
fault. You didn't tell me your assistant blew
it. You didn't tell me that you'd renegotiated
things and thought it might be better to come
a second day, but you're really sorry. There
was no smoke. There was no mirrors. You made
a mistake. Welcome to the human race. You owned
your stuff. Way to go. Keep it up. Do you realize
how much stress? We're under to slightly bend
the truth to say the traffic was really heavy.
Of course it was very heavy and you left a half
hour late, right? You know, you would really
love to do it. You would never want to do that
in a million years, right? But you can't. You
know, just, you forgot. How about that one? You
know, like, you know what? I forgot to call you
back. There was one, I was checking my messages
from somewhere and I thought, And I called the
guy, and this is human, I think. I thought to
myself, okay, I was busy. I was traveling. There's
got to be a legitimate excuse. This is an important
relationship, and it's been four days. And then
God had this little thought from the Holy Spirit.
Why don't you just tell him you forgot? Isn't
that what happened? Yeah. That doesn't sound
very spiritual, Lord. Yeah, I know. But is it
the truth? Yeah. Do you think human beings ever
forget, Chip? Yeah. Why don't you just tell him
you forgot? Okay. So I called this guy, and I
said, hey, is it really one of those real important
type things? And I said, hi, this is Chip. And
by the way, I realize it's been a number of days
and, you know, sounded pretty urgent, and I just
forgot. And, you know, the other end of the phone
was. It wasn't like, you are a terrible person.
You will now be sent to, if there's a purgatory,
you will now go there. I mean, it was just, hey,
man, I understand. What happens? Admit your mistakes.
Five, laugh more often. Don't take life or yourself
so seriously. Proverbs 17 .22 says, a cheerful
heart is good medicine. I mean, the people that
I know that have inspired me and helped me. have
a great sense of humor, and they laugh, and they
have fun. And I just want to encourage you to,
a lot of the anger, a lot of the stress will
leave when you just lighten up a little bit and
enjoy yourself. Number six is take care of yourself.
I mean, this is one that, you know, you almost
don't want to say because it's going to go over
the top, but I'll just say it just so I can have
good stewardship, is you need enough rest, you
need to eat good food, and you need to work out
enough to keep your body in shape. And when you
don't do those things, when you don't have very
much rest, when you eat stuff that's no good
for you, and you don't do any kind of exercising,
you're going to be angry more often. It's just
the way it is. Less sleep, less energy. And,
you know, I don't think everyone has to be, quote,
a health nut, but I think you ought to ask yourself,
if this really is the temple of God, 1 Corinthians
6, 19, 20, if this really is the temple of God,
am I treating it like God's temple? And then,
you know, you just start slow with where you're
at and start putting more good stuff instead
of bad stuff in your body. And if you've never
jogged or anything, you just start walking and
just little by little by little, but you take
care of yourself and you'll just find your anger.
By the way, a lot of people that have not good
eating habits and don't work out, guess who you're
angry at? Yeah. My background in undergraduate
and grad work, I did. in undergrad, but then
in just a few classes in grad work in psychology.
And there's this weird thing, the way our minds
work, is that when people don't like themselves
or they feel guilty or bad, they feel like they
need to punish themselves. And we will actually
create behaviors to produce outcomes to equalize
things inside of us. And so people will eat and
do things that are bad for them that create outcomes
that sort of say, well, this is the kind of person
I am. This is what I deserve. Now, as weird as
that sounds, it's true. But take care of yourself.
You matter. You're important. You're precious.
You're loved. And then finally, know what triggers
your anger. And let me give you an acronym here,
H -A -L -T. Halt. When you're hungry, angry,
lonely, or tired, stop. Halt. Don't make a big
decision. Don't go anywhere. Don't try and take
on something. And I guess what I got from that
acronym is what I found is when I'm hungry, I'm
a lot un -nice to be with, right? I'm angry.
When I'm lonely, my anger quotient goes up. When
I'm tired, you don't even want to go there, right?
And so I just want to encourage you some real
practical learnings about your AQ, your anger
quotient. It's going to be your environment.
That's what we talked about here, plus your perspective.
We'll look at that in just a second. That's times
obedience to 426 is in real life. These are things
that will minimize the stress and help you with
your AQ. The E is you minimize stress. To get
the right perspective, you want to maximize God.
You want to get a high, clear view of God. Let
me give you six things here to maximize or enlarge
your perspective. This is what I call spiritual
wisdom. Number one, get right with God. Believe
in Him, confess your sins, and forgive others.
Whatever chance you're here and you don't know
Christ personally, don't leave this campus until
you put your faith in Christ, allow Him to forgive
your sins, and give you a peace that's indescribable
and a power that's within you. If you are a believer
here, then take to heart, submit therefore to
God, resist the devil, he'll flee from you. Submission,
anything you know that God wants you to do or
to act on that you're not is called lack of submission.
You want to say to God, all that I am, all that
I have is yours. And if he's been speaking to
you about dealing with anger, dealing with your
marriage, dealing with an alcohol issue, dealing
with prescription drugs, dealing with forgiving
someone in the past, just do it. You'll be amazed.
Things will submit therefore to God, resist the
devil, he'll flee from you. Then notice, draw
near to God and he'll draw near to you. And then
he talks about, well, what's it mean to draw
near to God? Cleanse your hands, you sinners,
and purify your hearts, you double -minded. And
then he's gonna go on in the passage, in this
passage later on and talk about, this is the
picture of humbling yourself before God so that
he can come and lift you up and help you. God
is not an angry, mean God whose arms are crossed
with a bony finger and a tapping toe that thinks
you have messed up and you're messing up again.
And he wants to whack you on sort of your spiritual
knuckles and saying, get with the program. He
is not down on you. He loves you. He's for you.
He died for you. Now, certain behaviors and certain
stiff arming of God will bring about what I call
Hebrews 12, the velvet vice of consequences.
He loves you so much that when you are living
in a way that's contrary to your best and his
word, he will begin to bring consequences into
your life. And it can come in finances and relationships.
It can come in your kids. It can come in your
health. He just wants to say, hello, I love you.
And some of us, we keep thinking, why are all
these things happening to me? Just stop. and
say, is there anything in my life that needs
to be realigned with what I know is true? And
the perspective that you'll get and the peace
that you'll receive. Some people have someone
that's wounded you. You just need the last line.
You need to forgive them. Release them. God's
a fair judge. He knows all things. The reason
we don't want to release people is, well, I'm
taking them off the hook. You're not taking them
off the hook. Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.
Tell you what, if God's absolutely fair and he's
all wise and he knows all things, actual and
possible, he knows why the person did it, what
the circumstances were, you just say, God, I'll
tell you what, either I'm going to be the referee
or you're going to be the referee. I don't know
the whole story. I'm going to give this person
to you. And then here's what's helped me. Now,
God. When I really have been really honest about
stuff in me, I do not want to get what I deserve.
I mean, not at all. And we're going to talk about
this later, but it is, if I'm going to receive
your mercy, Ephesians 4 .32, be kind to one another,
tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as
God also has forgiven you. But get right with
God. Your perspective, your life. A half -hearted,
partially in, partially out relationship with
Jesus Christ is the most miserable people on
the face of the earth. Just come clean. Number
two, experience God's unconditional love and
acceptance. When you wake up in the morning,
I have this picture and I try and remember in
a lot of mornings, as soon as my eyes open, I
have this picture of God looking down upon me
and him saying to this, the Lord personal God,
Elohim, is in your midst. The mighty one will
save. And that word save means he'll deliver.
It's not just save you from your sin. It means
he's a deliverer. He'll help you. He'll take
care of whatever you're facing. He will rejoice
over you with gladness. He will quiet you with
his love. He will rejoice over you with singing.
Is that your view of God? Is that how he feels
about you? Well, that doesn't come naturally
to me. And so one of the things that I do, and
I don't know how it works, but some of us believe
that God loves us, but emotionally, we don't
even feel like he likes us. That's why it's hard
to pray. A lot, a lot of Christians are like
duty. I know it's right. You know, like walking
with God is like, you know, it's like castor
oil. No, it's really good for you. It tastes
terrible. You know, I know you're supposed to
pray. I'm going to pray down. Here's the list,
man. Here's the list. Read the Bible. This is
really fun. You know, you get a little, get a
little spiritual liver quiver just now and then.
That was, that's pretty good. You know, God wants
you to experience his love. A lot of that goes
back to how you were raised and some teaching
you got and family background. Now, this is loaded
with music that causes my heart to remember how
much God loves me. And almost every morning,
part of my prayer time, there's two or three
or four songs, and sometimes I just tell God,
I just want to hang out. I don't want to get
anything done. If you want me to read something,
let me know. I've got a program I usually follow.
I just want to hang. And I put this on, and I
sing along with the songs, and I just worship
God. And all I can tell you is, I get up, I feel
loved. You know, when Teresa and I go out for
coffee, it's not like, okay, what do you want
to get accomplished here? Okay, you want to get
intimate? Okay, I love you. Let me hear you say
it. You love me too. Good. Okay, we got that
off. Okay, plan for the day. Let's hold hands
at 101. Great. Let's walk the dog and look up
and say, isn't it beautiful? Okay, we'll get
that one down. Okay. You think we can squeeze
sex in here and make it real meaningful a little
bit later? You know, that should be important,
you know. Now, I mean, some of us approach our
relationship, when I am with Teresa, I just want
to hang. I just like being with her. I just like
looking in her eyes. I like just... walking in
the park. I like getting up at five in the morning
when the moon's out and the stars are just coming
out when it's cool and sitting out on the porch
and hearing all the birds and sipping on a cup
of coffee. And just sometimes we'll sit quietly
for 15 minutes and sometimes we'll talk. I just,
I like her. I love her. I want to be in her presence.
God wants you to experience that. There's multiple
ways you can do that. You can take walks in nature,
but see, you got to slow down. So this is helpful
for me. So that's a little tool that I use. A
second tool for me is my view of God was so warped
that I have... read portions of this book for
about the last 32 years. It's called The Knowledge
of the Holy by A .W. Tozer. And I will never
forget hitting the chapter on the goodness of
God and reading, the goodness of God is that
which disposes him to be kind, cordial, benevolent,
and full of goodwill toward men. He is tenderhearted
and quick of sympathy. In his unfailing attitude
toward all moral beings, is open, frank, and
friendly by his nature. He is inclined to bestow
blessedness. And I love this. He takes holy pleasure
in the happiness of his people. Do you believe
that? Or are you always trying to measure up
to something? He takes holy, when you're happy,
God gets happy. And then I love the line. He
says, if the whole outlook of mankind might be
changed, if we could all believe we dwell under
a friendly sky and the God in heaven, though
exalted in power and majesty, is eager to be
friends with us. I will tell you, this is the
P of perspective. When you have a big God and
you have a big perspective, your problems get
real small. And when your problems are small,
you don't get so angry. It's not such a big deal.
God is good. God is powerful. I'm the object
of his love. You know, he's got the whole universe
under control and I bet he can handle that business
deal. He's got the whole universe under control
and you know, I bet he can handle what's happening
with the economy. He's got the whole universe
under control and you are the object of his affection.
So experience God. You're listening to Living
on the Edge, and Chip will be back to continue
our series, Overcoming Emotions That Destroy,
in just a minute. But let me quickly tell you,
we are more than a broadcast ministry. We're
passionate about supporting pastors globally,
developing helpful resources, and sharing the
gospel with this next generation. So if you'd
like to partner with us in these areas, go to
livingontheedge .org. We'll hear again as Chip.
Three, accept who God made you to be. Psalm 139,
classic passage. He formed your inward parts.
You're fearfully and wonderfully made. His eyes
saw your unformed substance. How do you learn
to accept who you are? There's lots of tools.
This is the one I'm using right now. I probably
have about 30 of these, maybe 40. I started in
my... last couple years of college. I don't think
it's for everyone. If you don't do this, don't
feel guilty. In fact, anything that I share that
happens to help me that you think that doesn't
work for me, then I would not do it. I have a
sneaking suspicion. You're not me and I'm not
you. I've heard lots of wonderful things other
people do and I think that sounds idiotic. That
doesn't work for me. But I used to try it. I'm
learning to accept me because I'm tracking the
journey that I have with God. And it's not formal.
And sometimes I make a list. Sometimes I write
out my prayers. Some of them start out, God,
I'm really tired. I'm really bummed out. I don't
feel like praying at all. But I thought I would
check in. And here's what's going on in my heart.
And what I realize is the more I process life
with him, and then I realize, you know something?
I was struggling with this two years ago. And
wow, you know something? I really am changing.
The grace of God is willing and working in and
through me for his good pleasure. And, you know,
when you can't see it and you can't track it,
I mean, you know, S &P 500, don't they track
stuff? Dow, don't they track stuff? NASDAQ, don't
they track stuff? Businesses, don't they have
a quarterly report? Most of us have no idea.
Where am I spiritually? Where have I been? Where
am I going? And I wonder where I'm at right now.
And sometimes, like this is hard to believe I
know, I get really tired and really discouraged.
And I just think, you know what? I don't think
my life's going anywhere. I don't think God's
using me at all. I don't think, you know, the
sort of condemnation journey. And I'll go pull
out one of these from like five or 10 years ago.
I think, man, this is a sorry dude that wrote
this. You know? And that's as sincere as he could
be. And I think, wow. And then I'll read, I was
praying this outlandish prayer. God did that.
Wow. If he did that for me, he sure must love
me because I know who I am. And you know, it's
just a journey. And by the way, most of these
passages, I told you before it's been helpful.
You can write them on a card. Don't put too much
pressure on yourself. Read them over. Read them
over. Pray them out loud to God. Your mind gets
renewed. We want to maximize God. Trust God in
his sovereignty. Let him be in control. I mean,
this Isaiah passage, to whom then will you liken
me or who's my equal? Lift up your eyes. See
who's created these things. He brings out their
hosts, the stars by number. He calls all these,
you know, 200 billion stars and behind 200 billion
galaxies all by name. Who can know the strength
of his power? Not one of them is missing. Why
do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel? My
way is hidden from the Lord. Have you not known,
have you not heard the everlasting God, the Lord,
the creator of the ends of the earth, neither
faints nor is weary? His understanding is unsearchable.
I don't mean, I will never throw my brains in
the trash and just say, oh, whatever. But I will
do the most rigorous research I can, and I will
study the scriptures, and I will... review everything
I can get my hands on to understand all the what's
and the why's of this life. And then when I get
done, I just realize I don't know anything. And
I have to entrust the mystery of this life and
what God's doing in the world, in people I love,
in me. And at the end of the day, I have to back
it all the way up to this big, big P for perspective
and say, he's good, he's holy, he's loving, he's
wise. He knows all things. I'm the object of
his affection. He has a good plan. I won't always
understand it. And he is in absolute control
and he's trustworthy. That will give you a different
lens to look through. You either tend to look
at life through the problem, the 5 % of your
marriage or 10 % you don't like, the part of
work, the three or four things that are bugging
you, and you tend not to look at the 97 of all
the grace of God and all the things that he's
done. When you look at the problem pretty soon,
you look at people and everything through the
problem, and you become an angry, resentful,
not very fun, sort of drinking the lemon juice
type Christian. Or you take that and you pull
it back, and you get a high, awesome view of
God. And you don't say there's not a problem,
but you see the problem in view of who God is.
You maximize Him. You minimize stress. We covered
this one. Be merciful. All I can tell you is
as you read Luke 6, love your enemies, do good
to them. God's that way. Just let people off
the hook. Just give them an ollie ollie and free.
Remember when you played hide and seek? You just
need to do a spiritual ollie ollie and free.
I've hated your guts for 11 years. I've been
envious of you for 10. You've been talking about
me bad. Everyone knows you have. Olly olly and
free, just taking you off the hook, wrote your
name on a piece of paper, offered you to God,
burned a piece of paper. I'm just done with that.
Just let some people off the hook. And the person
that will get free is you. Finally, number six,
pray about everything. And we all, you know.
Know this very familiar passage about not being
anxious, but in everything by prayer and supplication
of making a request known to God and that great
promise of his peace. And prayer is hard for
me. I think it is for most Christians. This little
tool, it's called the Handbook of Prayer by Ken
Boah. And what it does is it takes just scripture
and it personalizes it. And it'll start with
praise, renewal, petition, intercession. affirmation,
thanksgiving, and just, I mean, you can just
see there, it's short, but you can read out loud
a little portion of God's word that's personalized,
and it leads you, and then you can pray some
thanksgiving, and there's some time of confession
and some renewal. And I don't do, like, I don't
do anything every day. I mean, I read my Bible,
and I pray, but sometimes I read a lot, and sometimes
I pray a lot, and sometimes, you know, but...
You know, like I don't get up with Teresa every
day and go, okay, now we need to talk for 37
minutes. We need to walk for 14 .4 minutes. We
need to have two and a half meals together. In
other words, what's the relationship need? Let's
get out of the three chapters keeps the devil
away. Let's talk about a heart that hungers and
thirsts for the living God, that pants to be
in his presence, that longs to enjoy him. and
discipline ourselves and blocks off time, not
to fulfill a duty to check off a list, but to
meet a God who is eager to be our friend. You
get a high view of God, you will get small problems
or you'll get a different perspective on them.
And now we go back to where we were. Your anger
quotient equals environment, minimizing the stress,
E. plus P, perspective, maximizing God, times
O, obeying Ephesians 4 .26. Be angry, but don't
sin. Don't let the sun go down on your anger.
You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip
Ingram, and the message you just heard, learning
how to stop stress before it starts, is from
our series, Overcoming Emotions That Destroy.
Chip will join us in studio to share some insights
from today's talk in just a minute. Anger has
always been seen as a wrong, unhealthy feeling.
But what if I told you that this emotion is a
signal of a deeper problem we need to be aware
of? And if channeled correctly, anger could actually
be used for good. Well, in this 10 -part series,
Chip uncovers the root of anger in our lives
and explains how we can turn our most intense
frustrations into a valuable asset. So if you're
desperate to better understand this emotion and
have control over it, you're not going to want
to miss a single program. Well, Chip's here in
studio with me now. And Chip, before we go on,
you wanted to share something with our listeners?
Thanks so much, Dave. I know a lot of people
pray and support the ministry because you hear
of exciting new things that we're doing, whether
it's in China or the Middle East or working with
pastors. But I'd like you to consider something
else. The Bible is very clear that where you
are spiritually ministered to, there's a moral
responsibility to financially support. That's
not me. That's the Apostle Paul. And, you know,
there's about a million people every week that
are hearing God's Word. And God is using the
teaching ministry of Living on the Edge to help
Christians grow in Christlikeness. And that changes
families and communities. If you're one of those
people, would you pray about giving back if indeed
living on the edge is ministering to you and
helping you grow spiritually? It's just a principle
that I think is very important. Would you pray
about it and do whatever God shows you to do?
Thanks, Chip. As you prayerfully consider your
role in this ministry. I want to remind you that
every dollar is significant. When you partner
with Living on the Edge, you multiply our efforts
and resources in remarkable ways. To give a gift,
go to livingontheedge .org or call us at 888
-333 -6003. Again, that's 888 -333 -6003 or go
to livingontheedge .org. App listeners, tap Donate.
Well, with that, here again is Chip. As we close
today's program, maximizing God will greatly
reduce stress in your life. I went through a
number of very specific things very quickly.
If you need to see those and get some help, go
to the website, livingontheedge .org, and you
can download the notes for free. Now, under each
one of those things in the book, we actually
develop very specific ways and tell stories and
show you how to do it. So if this is helpful,
that might be a tool. But just for our purposes
today, let me just remind you of the halt. H
-A -L -T. When you are feeling hungry, angry,
lonely, or tired, know that you just got to stop.
Don't make a big decision. If you even feel mildly
tempted, just realize, halt, stop. That's when
really good. really godly people do very stupid,
sinful things. That one's worth the whole day
today. I remember when someone shared that with
me, it was like, wow, I've been in airports,
hungry, tired, someone jumps in line, I feel
the anger, and I just realized, ooh, wait a minute,
Ingram, halt, just halt. Father, I pray for those
under overwhelming stress that you'll help them
today to halt, to stop. to pray, to take five
minutes they don't think they have and to open
the Psalms and read them out loud and tell you
how they honestly feel. And I pray that you would
calm their heart and give them perspective. In
Jesus' name, amen. Amen. Thanks, Chip. Hey, before
we go, if you'd like to get plugged in with any
of the resources for this series, visit livingontheedge
.org. There you can download Chip's message notes,
check out our small group study, or listen to
any part of this series. We want to help you
grow in your walk with Jesus, so visit livingontheedge
.org today. Well, from all of us here, I'm Dave
Drewy, thanking you for listening to this edition
of Living on the Edge, and I hope you'll join
us again next time.