One of the most challenging responsibilities
of every parent is properly disciplining our
children. How do you walk that tightrope of not
being a hard drill sergeant demanding with no
understanding or being so passive and loving
and caring that they don't have the boundaries
that they desperately need? Today, we're going
to talk about two words to help you be the parent
that God wants you to be. Thank you for being
with us for this edition of Living on the Edge
with Chip Ingram. Chip serves as our Bible teacher
for this global teaching and discipleship ministry,
helping Christians develop an authentic faith.
Well, in this program, Chip picks up where he
left off with the insightful second half of his
talk, how to discipline your child effectively.
And like last time, he has a lot to teach us
about this vital, vital topic. So I hope you
have your notes and Bible ready as we join him
now to continue our series on invited guests.
John, if you would, 1 John 2, verses 1 and 2.
Just all I want you to do is get this principle.
The apostle is writing to this young church.
He says, I've written to you, my dear children,
in order that you might not sin. But if you do
sin, knowing they will, we have an advocate,
Jesus Christ the righteous. We have an advocate
with the Father. Advocate just means we have
a lawyer. We have someone pleading our case.
We have an advocate, Jesus Christ the righteous,
and he is the propitiation for our sin. Propitiation
is one of those really big biblical words that
means he absorbed the just wrath of God. And
then it goes on to say, but not only for us,
believers, but for the whole world. Now, theologically,
there are some people who will say, I don't want
the free gift. I'll take the punishment. I don't
want the free gift. I don't want what Christ
has done. And God says, thy will be done. He
doesn't force it on anyone. But if you can understand
that's how your heavenly father deals with you,
he doesn't punish you. He's not down on you.
That's been covered. It's been atoned for. His
heart's desire. Now, The discipline may get more
and more and more severe if you don't listen.
And you may have to cause the discipline for
your kids to be more and more and more severe
until it gets their attention. But it comes from
a different heart. Does that make sense? The
reason why you have a lot of conflict and you
feel bad and you feel guilty and kids withdraw
and they rebel is they need to know and feel
your love even when you're disciplining them
because you're not punishing them. It's not,
I'm going to pay you back. It's not out of anger.
Now then, The $64 ,000 question is how? Well,
what did we learn? How does God do it? Through
consistent consequences, actions, and clear instruction.
And so I want to go over those two things and
give you some very practical tools about how
to do that with your kids. Consistent consequences
go something like this. Proverbs 13, 24 says,
He who spares his rod hates his son. but he who
loves him disciplines him diligently. Think of
that. If you spare the rod, consistent action,
not talk, you hate your child. Why? Because God
says, if you loved him, you would give him what
he needs instead of what he wants. He goes on
to say, folly is bound up in the heart of a child.
Every kid's like this. But the rod of discipline,
action, will drive it far from him. Now, I'm
going to do something, and this will be... Can
I just go on record real quickly here? Will you
please lean back? Take a nice deep breath. For
the next five minutes, I will be as radically,
politically incorrect of anything you've heard
in the last 30 days, maybe more. I'm going to
describe what the rod is. I'm going to describe
what it means when biblical quote spanking. I
will give you some research on that when I get
done about... from psychologists, the American
Psychological Association, that will instruct
you very clearly about the non -negative impacts
when done biblically. But you are living in a
world where many of your kids do not obey, and
you have arguments, and it's time out, and there's
this, and there's that. And God has provided
a way, especially if you start young, to help
your children obey and learn obedience that gets
down into their soul that's very helpful. Now,
You can totally choose to say, that's not a practice
that will be good for me. All I'm saying is,
we are so afraid to talk about this. We have
parents out on islands struggling with their
children, and by and large, creating huge psychological
damage because of the yelling and the screaming
and all the things that happen that your kids
aren't getting. So I'm going to tell you what
the biblical rod or spanking looks like. You
evaluate. You can hear the research. Then you
can do whatever God leads you to do. Number one,
whenever you feel like this is important, you
give them a clear warning. A child should never
be pulled out of a booth and... You never use
your hand, by the way. It should never be, when
is this coming? My Nazi crazy parent out of the
blue is blowing up in anger. They need to know.
And by the way, the small little windows, this
isn't for every little offense. This is when
you draw a line in the sand and your son or your
daughter steps up and goes, no, I'm not doing
that. And by the way, it starts early. So there
are times when it's really clear. Do not, do
not do this. There's been a clear warning. And
you're concerned because you know if they do
it, they'll get hurt. There's great damage. And
you say, if that happens again, I want you to
know when you're really testing who is the boss,
that this is going to be the consequence. There's
a clear warning. Second, you establish responsibility.
So I'll give you a real life example. I have
many of them, but this is just one. My kids were
in that five to six, seven age group. They had
friends. The parents were about three doors down.
The son was at our house all the time. This is
not exaggeration. He'd been through three or
four marriages. She had been through three. They
had both alcohol and drug problems. They had,
you know, a mixed group, which I really understood
of all different ages. The older boys had people
over drugs, alcohol, violence. And I told my
little boys, Michael can come over here anytime.
He can be a part of our family. He can eat. You,
parents are gone all during the day, can never
go in that house. I mean, we made friends. We
actually, the mom and dad both came to Christ
about three years later. But I mean, you know,
it was just like, here, the bar is like this,
and this is like this. I mean, and everything
went on. And so, of course, I don't know how
God works this. We're driving by, and I watch
my kids come out of the house. And so, clear
warning, okay? Look, do you understand? If I
catch you going over to that house again, you
will get a spanking. Eye contact. Do you get
that? Yes. Well, you know, two days later, same
thing. They do it. So here's, I did not, when
I caught them the second time, they know what's
going to happen. They're going to get a spanking.
Of course, am I angry? Yes, but I get under control.
I did not ask them, why did you do that? You
ever hear yourself saying, why did you do that?
Why did you go with those friends? Why did you
do that I told you not to? Why did you go to
that movie? Why did you spend that money? Why
did you take the car without permission? Why,
why, why? I'll tell you why. Because they're
sinners. Like you. Why do you mess up? Why do
you do stupid stuff? Why do you lie? Because
you're a sinner. That doesn't help anything.
I mean, if you want to shame them, why, why,
why? What's wrong with you? What are you expecting
in your seven -year -old? Well, I was born in
Adam, and I think I've inherited sin, and I've
not yet understood the propitiation of Christ,
and I'm really not up on the sanctification process,
and because of that, I'm not renewing my mind
at the level that allows me to. Are you kidding
me? But here's important. What did you do wrong?
Well, I just, you know, the other kids were doing
it, and I just, no, no, no, no. What did you
do wrong? Well, I didn't mean to do it, and it
was Jason. He wanted to go, and I wanted to.
Stop. What did you wrong? I went in the house.
You told me not to. What do we call that? Disobedience.
Your kids have got to own it. I mean, I see parents
doing all this stuff. The kid does this. The
kid does that. Go tell him you're sorry about
what? I'm sorry. I guess it's over. What you
want to do is you want to teach what did they
do wrong? You're listening to Living on the Edge
with Chip Ingram. And before he continues our
new series, Uninvited Guests. I want to remind
you that all of our efforts to strengthen couples
and parents are only possible because of listeners
like you. In fact, let me encourage you to keep
listening after today's message as Chip shares
more of his heart for preserving the family and
why now is a great time to partner with us in
this work. Be sure to stick around. But for now,
let's rejoin Chip for the rest of his talk. Third,
avoid embarrassment. Don't ever do this publicly.
Don't do it out in the living room. This is a
private moment, either in your bedroom, their
bedroom, or away from the crowd. Four, communicate
grief. See, this is why I wanted to teach you
the theology of discipline instead of punishment.
In other words, you're not an out -of -control
parent. Now, many times I've told my kids, you
can't believe how angry I am right now. But here's
the core of my anger. I feel so betrayed. I love
you. I trust you. We hang out. We do all kind
of things. When I tell you something and you
tell me something, I'm your dad. I'm for you.
And you know what? It's not all bad. In fact,
it's not bad at all. But if they see you kind
of well up or see a tear in your eye, you broke
my heart. Sin is not primarily about behavior,
people. Sin is not, and your kids' outcomes are
not, they do this, they don't do that, they do
this, they'll come out okay. Sin is always primarily
a relational issue. You want them to learn. They
betrayed your trust. They broke your heart. Because
what you want them to learn later and what you
need to understand, when you lie and when you
cheat and when you log on or when you are tempted
to do things, this isn't about how close can
I get to some line. You're breaking your father's
heart. You betray your father, the one who loves
you, the one who sent his son, the one who has
your best. And so you want to communicate genuine
grief because you want it to be a relational
issue. And then I brought my little, you know,
from about, you know, you'll have to choose,
but somewhere around two or three or somewhere
they get old enough where they know and they
draw a line in the sand. And you never, this,
you know what this is for? Loving. touching,
caring, praying, and nurturing. This never, ever
strikes your child anywhere on their body for
any reason. Well, I have to do it right. No,
you don't. This is a rod. It's a little wooden
spoon. It's extraordinarily effective. And I
want to show you how to do it. I'm not joking
with you. Because I've seen people, they get
angry. You don't do that. Every human being,
especially children, have something here. It's
called adipose tissue. It's a fancy way for saying
fat. Here's your goal. You flick the wrist. This
will produce an amazing level of sting. It does
absolutely no damage. You want it to hurt. It
produces in kids up through about, depending
on their size and ability, up through about 10
years old or somewhere in there, it produces
a level of, oh, I don't ever want that to happen
again. which is what you want, and it's immediate.
And then you want them to experience sincere
repentance. The earlier you start, the better.
And so when my kids were four or five and even
older, we would go through this process, and
they're crying now. And I would usually sit on
the floor, and I'd have them on my lap, and I'd
just let them cry. I want them to know. I'm here,
my arms around you. You did what was wrong. You
owned up to it. This is what happens. I'm for
you. I don't know about you. I've cried in God's
presence. I've cried in God's presence when I've
done really stupid or sinful things. David cried
in God's presence. And then they cry for a while
and then they kind of get calmed down. And then
sincere repentance. I said, well, are you ready
to talk to God? And when they were small, I coached
them so they learned how. Yeah, daddy, I'm ready.
So what do you say to God? I'm a bad person.
No, you're not a bad person, son. You're not
a bad person. You're special. God loves you.
What did you do? I went in the house when you
told me not to. Okay. Why don't you tell God?
God, I'm sorry for going in the house when Daddy
told me not to. I disobeyed. Okay. Why don't
you tell him you're sorry? I'm sorry, God. Is
there someone else you need to apologize to?
You? Yeah, that's right. Okay. I'm sorry, Dad.
Oh, honey, I forgive you. And I put my arms around
him and I teach him. Lord, I thank you that whenever
we break your heart by doing what's wrong, that
like it's a mark on a chalkboard. And the moment
we come from our heart and ask you to forgive
us, you absolutely erase it and love us. Amen.
And then we would get up together, and I usually
tried to do something very positive. Let's go
play horse. I want them to know, you're not rejected.
That's biblical spanking. That's the rod. But
what's happened in our day? I've got an interesting
article by a psychologist in... Chicago, and
it's called The Killer Narcissist. And I won't
read it, but the essence of the article is why
do we have wanton killings in schools? And the
politically correct answer is because of these
desperate underprivileged homes and all the different
things they're going through. And then what she
does is she goes, well, actually, if you look
at Littleton, if you look at what happened in
Pennsylvania, and she goes through all the different
ones and none of them fit the profile. It's upwardly
mobile. white suburbs largely, of affluent kids
whose parents have given them everything. And
she says what happens is the movement of a narcissist
to a radical killer is very small in the teenage
years. And when you raise kids who think the
whole world revolves around them and they don't
get their way, they feel very hurt because they
don't get the esteem, the entitlement, and life
works for me, and it creates rage. And all the
kids she goes through are of parents, educated
gave him everything we're producing narcissists
every kid doesn't need a trophy every kid doesn't
need to know that the whole world revolves around
them we don't go out to eat where our kids want
we don't make decisions about all our kids all
the time what you create is they an expectation
that the world revolves around them and they're
going to find out the world doesn't and when
they do really bad things happen it's a complete
lack of discipline But it takes being a jerk
sometimes. And what I can tell you is when you
start very early, this is one. Now, if a timeout
works, great. If this works, great. But this
is a biblical way to help your children. And
here's the difference. The difference is when
it's done, it's done. It's not 30 minutes. I
told you to stand up. I told you to sit down.
Okay, a 10 -minute timeout. You're grounded for
three days, five days. You're grounded until
Jesus comes. And then, you know, I hang out in
coffee shops and, you know, a couple of high
schoolers come in after school in backpacks and
got the earphones. Hey, how's it going, man?
It's going pretty good. What's up with you? Oh,
man, I'm grounded. Oh, yeah. Oh, bummer, man.
This is coming up. How long? Oh, they say two
weeks, but I figure three days. Your kids are
really good students of you. Oh, Mom, the prom's
coming up. I'm going to miss this. How could
you do that? Don't you trust me? You're being
so hard on me. You don't really get it. All my
other friends, and they go to church, and their
parents let them do this. Why, my, my, my. And
we have a generation of non -jerk parents. And
you keep the peace, and you will feel the pain.
And God says, I love you too much, and I want
you to love your kids too much. to let that happen.
A lady wrote me, and I don't know whether it
was a small group material or the book. She goes,
I recently... shied away from spanking, even
though every other discipline for my seven -year
-old has not worked. I've been exhausted with
the confrontations and the drama associated with
even the minor things in life. This message was
the kick in the pants I needed to do what's right
before God. Thank you. This morning, his attitude
was the same as normal. We had fights. He wouldn't
do his schoolwork. He was argumentative, disrespectful,
and disobedient. He was clearly challenging my
authority. So I breathed a helpful prayer. I
asked him to come upstairs away from the little
brother. I picked up the spoon along the way.
Anyhow, the bottom line, no pun intended. Two
quick stings later, he was sobbing and repenting
in my arms and apologizing. I held him, and then
he said this, Mama, I'm sure glad they make wooden
spoons. The rest of the day has been peaceful.
We prayed together, no arguments. No disobedience.
Thanks for the reminder that I need the courage
to discipline. So you know what? Your kids, their
conscience needs cleansed. Your kids need to
have a clean moment of, you know, if it's ongoing,
you're shaming them. Now, I'm not saying that
everyone should do this and it's not for every.
I'm expecting like there's a level of common
sense in this room. But you need to figure out
when they challenge your authority and they cross
the line. You need to really think about what
you need to do and if possibly these verses in
Proverbs may be as true as all the other verses
in Proverbs that we claim. But these just happen
to be unpopular. Well, actions is one thing,
but then words. Clear instructions or reproof.
I gave you those two little Hebrew words out
of Proverbs and the second one had to do with
very specific words. And so four ways to use
words to bring about correction. And by the way,
we always start with words. You know, just clarification.
I rarely spank my kids. I rarely had to. But
if that is a clear expectation and they know
that when you say this or say that, you actually
mean it, you know, a lot of times it's, son,
and he looks at you, it's time to go. All it
takes is, Eric, you know what that means? Consequences
are coming. Bam, he gets up. But there's never
a line, your words don't mean much. So number
one, say no firmly. Say no firmly. Here's what
I see happen. And by the way, everything I'm
going to share, all these illustrations like,
oh, I do that, I can't believe it. Well, where
do you think I get them? This is our failure
as parents over the years, okay? And so this
is like, and I'll exaggerate just to make the
quick point. You know, your daughter says, can
I do a sleepover with these three girls, and
we're going to watch this movie, and I think
it's really going to be great, and her parents
are going to be home, and everything's going
to be okay. And immediately, you know, the three
girls just got on juvie. It's a triple X rated
movie. The houses aren't there, and both parents
are drug addicts. And, okay, am I exaggerating
enough? And inside, you're thinking, absolutely
not, right? You know, inside, no way. And here's
your response. Oh, honey, you know, I don't know.
It just, that doesn't really sound like a good,
and what do they hear? There's a window, right?
Come on, mom, don't you really trust me? I mean,
everyone's gonna, I never get to do anything,
and you know, I love Jesus, and maybe this is
my chance to really help them, and come on, mom.
And then it's like, well, honey, no, no, I don't,
I just really don't think so. Your words are
saying one thing. What's your tone of voice saying?
There's a window. So now it's, I. can't believe
it. You don't trust me at all. I could never
do anything. Slam the door. And now you got drama.
Say what you mean. Say it clearly. Say it firmly.
And if you don't mean it, then don't say it.
So, same situation. She says that. Or you fill
it in. And you stop. And if you're not sure,
you say, ooh, you know what? I need to pray about
that. And if you're not a single parent, then
you say, I need to talk with your father. This
is a big decision. I'll let you know later. But
if it's an absolute one, what you say is, did
I hear you right? Absolutely not. But mom, and
then you give them this look, if you haven't
worked on this, this means, oh, you are on dangerous
ground. This is the look. But mom, and you go,
and you know what that look means? There is no
more discussion. And you know what? They accept
it. Say no firmly. You know, you ever go over,
to friends' houses or they come to your house
and the kids really like each other and they're
really having fun. And so they're like running
around and going nuts and going crazy. And you
do stuff like this because you're with your friends.
And hey, hey, hey, kids, kids, kids, stop running
through here. Stop running through here. You
don't mean it at all. So they run out, run out.
And hey, how are things going? Zoom, zoom, they
come through again. Toys are coming off. Hey,
hey, I told you guys, slow down. Stop in here.
Do not run through the living room while we're
talking. You don't mean it at all. Three minutes
later, here they come again, right? And then
pretty soon, like the number four time, you do
something like this that embarrasses you in front
of your friends. Hey, what in the blank did I
say? I said stop right now. And then you realize,
oh my, I am embarrassing myself and this is not
really a good moment. See, say what you mean.
If you don't, hey, stop. I know you guys haven't
seen each other and you really like each other.
You can go outside right now, run all you want.
Okay, listen. If you run through here again,
seven -minute timeout. And then eye contact.
Do you understand? Now, what are they going to
do? They're going to run through one more time,
correct? So your game face comes on, and boom,
here they go, stop. And hey, it takes time. You
sit them down, and hopefully the seven -minute
works. Say no firmly. Second, clear warning of
consequences. I tried to model that. Let them
know. I mean, kids are kids. Let them be kids,
but warn them. This is going to happen if you
don't do this or that, right? Give them a clear
warning and get there. Don't make a clear warning.
Hey, if you do that again, you're going to be
in trouble. No, stop them. Look them in the eye.
Third, use contracts. You know, they don't do
their chores. They're disrespectful. They won't
do their homework. They're hanging out with the
wrong people. They beat up their brother or sister.
I mean, right? It's like they're not responsible.
They won't do this. I mean, there's only like
four or five major things that any kid messes
up with. And what happens, you get into these
wars all the time. Stop the wars. When you're
not upset, when it's not, they haven't done something
wrong, it's like you have a good time, maybe
it's after a meal, you go out for a Coke, whatever
you do, and then you come and you say, you know
something? We've been battling one another. I
love you too much. I remember sitting down and
doing this. You know, this is just no fun. I
mean, I love you. You're so fun to be around.
But we keep arguing about you don't do your schoolwork.
Or, you know, my one son, you just keep beating
up your brother every time we leave. And the
hole in the wall just is not really good. And
true story. And so I said, okay, let's just list
the things that are a problem on the left side.
And then, you know, I've tried everything. It's
not working. So here's a column that says consequences
that are negative. You tell me if you do this,
what negative consequence would really help you
obey? What would help you learn? And then, by
the way, here's the next column, positive consequence.
Like if you really like obeyed in that area for
X amount of time, what would be a good perk?
I mean, what would just say, hey, man, that's
worth, okay. And we just went through the four
or five things and I had him write it down. And,
you know, I remember he said, oh, well. If I
was like grounded from basketball practice for
two days. Okay, we'll write that one down. Well,
of course. Now, by the way, anytime you do this,
they test it. You know why? They're like you.
It's like Adam and Eve. Do not do this. Okay,
right? It's part of the human condition. And
so, of course, he wrote them down. I wrote them
down. It's a contract. He does it. He's gonna
miss basketball practice, and then he's, dad,
you can't do this to me. I worked all summer.
I lifted weights. I practiced. I finally made
the first team. I'm gonna start next Friday night.
If I miss these two practices, I won't start.
How could you do this to me? Now I'm very calm.
I said, oh, son, this is not, I'm not doing anything.
This, the contract that we made, and I signed
it here, and you signed it there, and you know
something? I'm so bummed out. I was so forward
-looking to you start. I just watched your hard
work, and boy, I am so sad. But this is your
contract. You get to own your responsibility.
Do you see the difference? So you get out of
this arguing drama, and I had a lady come up
with three boys. They're the most wonderful boys,
but she gave me her top three problems, or top
three or four of everyone. Sit down, write a
contract with them. And they were like, you know,
teenagers and one younger one. And they kind
of, yeah, we'd do that. But just sit down and
use a contract. Finally, use consequences. I'll
have now and then have someone say, you can't
believe it. My daughter is completely out of
control. She doesn't come in at night. She's
drinking. I know there's marijuana we found.
She's dating a boy that is totally outside the
bounds. She's 15 years old. We don't know what
to do. We've been to counseling. I'm powerless.
What do I do? And I'm not the greatest counselor
at all, and that's why I don't do much of it.
And you all think I'm joking. I'm not. But here's
my response. I said, oh, wow, you're powerless?
Yes, what can I do? I said, well, like, does
she drive at all? Well, yeah. So, man, 15, 16,
so did she buy the car? No, it's ours. Oh, well,
who pays for the gas? Well, we do. Who pays for
the insurance? Well, we do. Oh, wow. Does she
have a phone? Yeah. Who pays for that? We do.
Oh. And I just went through and I started asking
her questions. So you're powerless? Does she
have an outside job to eat food in your house?
And does she rent the room? I said, excuse me,
you hold all the cards. And eliminate the drama.
Here's one or two very clear boundaries. The
next time this happens, by the way, in fact,
the car is gone. This is gone. We'll start with
this one. And you just begin through the velvet
vice of love. And you'd be the parent. And by
the way, I got to the point with one of my sons
where I did all that because some of you are
thinking, well, they might just opt out. I got
where 17 and a half years old, tears down my
face and tears down his face. I wish you weren't
a Christian dad. No rules. You can't tell me
anything. I said, and don't do this unless you've
prayed it through, gotten good counsel from a
counselor and probably a pastor and thought through.
But you know, you've tried everything. And I
remember sitting in front of the car in front
of my house said, you're destroying our marriage.
You're destroying our home. You're 17 and a half
years old. If you're a man enough now to get
a job, find a place to live and figure out what
you're going to do for food, then I can't teach
you. So you got 48 hours. You don't have to believe
anything I believe. But I will tell you this,
either you come and have a good attitude and
stop ruining our family, or you find a place
to live. And I wasn't bluffing, and he knew it.
And I was crying. And later he came back and
he said, you know, dad, it wasn't all the discipline.
He said, when you and mom cried, I realized how
precious and real Jesus is to you. I went in
my bedroom for 48 hours, realized a lot of it
was just my pure rebellion. And part of it was
you pushed my buttons, dad, and I pushed yours.
But he said, God really spoke to me. He came
out of the room and I was just, I was waiting
for this, you know, the second shoe to drop,
you know, like he was a manipulator. It seems
like rebellious kids are very smart. And then
we watched a complete change. I want to give
parents hope here. God can do anything. Two of
the three songs we sang, this kid wrote them.
And they're sung all over the world. My prayer
wasn't that he write songs. My prayer was, oh
God, keep him out of the ditch. Oh God, help
him not do something so stupid that he's going
to ruin the rest of his life. But all I can do
is set a boundary over here and say, you know
what? In our house, you can't treat people that
way. And over here, no matter what you do, I'm
going to love you. And is it hard? It's excruciatingly
hard. All discipline for the moment seems not
to be joyful but sorrowful. But after they've
been trained by it, it yields a peaceful fruit
of righteousness. On the back page, I've given
you a game plan. It's pretty self -explanatory.
Here's some pitfalls to avoid. I mean, we've
all done these, right? The screaming parent.
The all talk. You know, you have a good talk
or nagging, nagging, nagging that's not working.
I just put this abusive parent. If you're striking
your child or you're out of control, get help.
The closed -lipped parent is just the passivity
of you just think this is going to go away. When
you don't address stuff, your kid's heart is
telling him you don't care. And then finally,
the light bulb parent is, you know, it's totally
inconsistent. You know, this really, really matters
on Monday and on Friday. You don't care. The
game plan is just simple. Identify the top two
behavior problems. Don't try and tackle everything.
Just what are the top one or two things that
are just making you crazy and making your kid
crazy? And then honestly evaluate. I mean, go
back to the first page and ask yourself honestly,
which one of those? Where do I lean? Where do
I need to address some issues? Many times when
my kids were disobeying, what I realized was
I wanted to blame them. The problem was me. I
was inconsistent. I wasn't avoiding some of those
pitfalls. And then third, have a family conference.
You sit down, and often you start it with, you
know something, I've not been the dad I needed
to be, or inconsistent, or I didn't do this.
But I want you to know, here's the top two issues.
Here's the plan. Here's the consequences. I love
you. This is how we're going to move forward.
And then strap it on. They will test you. And
you need to win. And then finally, sit down and
set some goals together and ask God to work in
a powerful way. He will. There's hope. You're
listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram.
And the message you just heard, how to discipline
your child effectively, is from our series, Uninvited
Guests. Chip will join us in studio to share
some insights from today's talk in just a minute.
We've all heard it said that raising kids isn't
for the faint of heart. Every parent can attest
that it can be deeply encouraging and life -giving
one moment and want to pull out your hair frustrating
the next. And those emotional ups and downs don't
include the external challenges and pressures
that kids, moms, and dads face every day. For
the past couple of messages, Chip highlighted
biblical principles for moms and dads to navigate
the complexities of raising kids in today's world.
We hope you were encouraged and motivated wherever
you are in your parenting journey. If you've
missed any part of this series, catch up at livingontheedge
.org or wherever you listen to podcasts. Well,
Chip's with me in studio now, and Chip, your
mentor, Howard Hendricks, once said that the
family is the cornerstone of society. So what
are we doing as a ministry to address all the
chaos and dysfunction hurting families today?
Well, Dave, really, the answer to that is pretty
easy. When you see the discipleship deficit,
it all begins with the family. And if families
are going to be strong, that begins with a strong
marriage of a husband and a wife who understand
they're being bombarded each and every day with
lies about what makes a great relationship. And
so we've created some brand new resources that
aren't a big book you have to read or a seminar
you need to go to, but something to put on your
nightstand that day by day, it could really transform
your thinking and as a result, your marriage.
We're calling them Marriage That Works Truth
Cards. And during this series, we're doing something
really radical. For those who choose to become
monthly partners, we want to give you Marriage
That Works Truth Cards as a way to say thanks.
So today, would you consider being a financial
partner to help us to repair and to strengthen
marriages? Great challenge, Chip. And please
know how much we appreciate your sacrifice. Your
regular support allows us to plan our next steps
as a ministry and be ready to walk through doors
that God opens for us. And as Chip said during
this entire series, if you become a monthly financial
partner of Living on the Edge, we'll send you
our newest resource, the Marriage That Works
Truth Cards, as our thank you. Learn more by
going to livingontheedge .org or by calling 888
-333 -6003. Again, that's 888 -333 -6003 or visit
livingontheedge .org. App listeners, tap donate.
Well, until next time, this is Dave Drewy saying
thanks for listening to this edition of Living
on the Edge.