What is the biggest source of conflict in your
marriage right now? Is it kids, job, money, in
-laws? How would you like to get those issues
resolved in a way that nobody gets hurt? How
would you like to learn to fight fair in your
marriage? That's today. Welcome to this edition
of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Our mission
is to inspire Christians to be genuine followers
of Jesus and to empower them to be active disciple
-makers in our world. Thanks for joining us as
we continue our series, Uninvited Guests, recognizing
and resisting the attacks on your family. Over
the last handful of programs, Chip's highlighted
skills that make marriages thrive. Forgiving
one another and clear communication. In just
a minute, he'll unpack the third and final one.
which could be the game changer for many couples
navigating conflict. Today, you'll learn why
it's not really about resolving arguments, but
understanding how to approach your spouse with
gentleness so that everyone feels valued and
heard. So with all that said, here's Chip with
his talk, How to Fight Fair in Marriage. One
of the first things I want to say is you have
to get over this naive, unbiblical notion that
conflict is wrong and abnormal. Okay. There's
many of you that you were brought up in households.
Don't argue. Stop arguing. Don't do that. You
believe, I mean, it's so subtle. Conflict is
wrong. Conflict is bad. An argument, a discussion,
a disagreement, having feelings that don't line
up with the other person automatically you think
we have this big problem. I want to tell you
that conflict is normal. Conflict is biblical.
Conflict is actually the key to growth. The biggest
lessons I've learned in my childhood about conflict
was from the Barnes boys, okay? Now, some of
you can remember maybe what it was like growing
up in the 60s and early 70s, and especially when
you lived in these sort of suburban houses that
were one next to one another and everyone had
little chain link fences. The Barnes boys, they
were twin boys and an older boy and a younger
boy, and they had this real athletic dad. And
in the Barnes boys' garage was a punching bag.
In the Barnes boys' backyard was a baseball diamond
cutout. And when I got home from school, I did
my homework, and then the first question, Mom,
Dad, can I go to the Barnes boys? Boom. As soon
as dinner was over, can I go to the Barnes boys?
I loved being with the Barnes boys. And if you
kind of, you know how you drive through those
little cul -de -sacs? When you would see their
backyard, about 95 % of the time, there were
somewhere between eight to 15 boys, nine, 10,
11, 12, all playing whatever. If it was football,
it was football. If it was baseball season, it
was baseball. We always played at the Barnes
boys. Well, you can imagine if you have eight
to 15 guys, there's conflict. There's arguments.
It's our ball. It's your ball. You were out of
bounds. No, it was a home run. No, it wasn't
a home run. It was a foul ball. And when you
would hear the arguing and it got real intense,
Mr. Barnes was a very big man. And not only did
they do that outside, but in his basement, he
had a weight room and he lifted weights. I never
did, as you can tell, but he lifted weights,
okay? And he would come out like this. He had
a really big chest. And in fact, I wrote down,
I can still remember his questions. He would
bring the two people arguing. He would say, there's
no arguing out here. We don't do that. Not like
this. Number two, what was the problem? And he'd
look at you. And you'd have to say, what's the
problem? What's the problem? And sometimes that
would solve it, but not usually. He did this,
I did that. He did this, I did that. Argue. Then
he would say, can you two agree on this right
now and play on? No, it's our ball. He said,
okay, let's settle it right now. Big Mr. Barnes
would go into the garage and he would come out
with boxing gloves. Gospel truth. And they were,
I don't know if you've ever seen the training
gloves that are even way bigger. Now imagine
being like 78 or 90 pounds and you put on these
gloves that feel like they're five or 10 pounds.
And this is what we would do. The two boys who
were arguing, we get in the middle, everyone
else made a circle. I mean, he could get away
with this back in the 1970s. Now you probably
get sued or something. So you have these heavy
gloves, okay? And he'd say, okay, ready? Everyone
would circle up. He says, okay, settle it. And
of course you're real tough and talking, you
know, and I'm, you know, move like a butterfly
and like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, you know,
you know, you know. And after about three minutes,
no one could lift their arms. I mean, we're so
tired. And the worst that ever happened is I
think on a great day, I got Buddy Brockman right
in the nose and got a bloody nose. And on a not
so good day, I got a bloody nose. But they were
so big and so heavy and so soft. All your aggression
got out. It got settled. It was done. And no
one really got hurt. In fact, what Mr. Barnes
taught us was how to resolve conflict in a way
that although mildly painful, didn't do any lasting
damage. On the front of your notes, here's what
I've learned from the Barnes boys. One, conflict
is normal. Two, conflict is an opportunity for
growth. Believe it or not, The guy that gave
me the bloody nose became my best friend. Isn't
that interesting? Three, conflict must be diffused
or it'll destroy. I mean, if 15 young guys keep
going at it, pretty soon you take sides, then
it escalates and something bad's gonna happen.
So he diffused it. He diffused it in a way where,
as you see in the next point, he used some rules
so no one really got hurt. We got to take a few
swings. We slugged one another, but no one really
got hurt. Now, as you turn the page, I want to
talk to you about God's perspective on conflict.
The first section of this teaching time is going
to be very biblical. I want to talk about the
reality that it's normal. There's people who
love God with all their heart that have great
conflict. I want to give you three or four areas
that for sure cause conflict in relationships.
God expects it to cause conflict. And then we're
going to talk about the deepest source of conflict
in relationships. And then I want to spend the
final portion of our time walking through a little
acronym that will give you literally a specific
game plan to go to point A, to point B, to point
C, to say, okay, we've got conflict. What do
we do? How do we diffuse it? Okay? So look on
your notes. Let's jump in here together. Conflict
is inevitable in a fallen world. And this is
from the lips of Jesus, John 16, 33. I've told
you these things so that you may have peace in
me. In this world, you'll have trouble, but take
heart, I've overcome the world. Now, does this
sound like Jesus is setting up his followers
and disciples for a, if you really live life
right, if you really love me, if you read your
Bible, if you pray, you know, if you give off
the top, if you go on a short -term missions
trip, if you try to be a good woman, be a good
man, be a great dad, be a great mom, if you do
all that, then everything's gonna be smooth.
Does that sound like what he said? In the world,
you know, we're good at claiming promises, aren't
we? Jesus said this, I can claim this for my
life. Well, here's a promise. In the world, you
will have conflict, but be of good cheer. I'm
going to give you peace, but it's going to be
a peace that's on the inside in a fallen world.
You're going to have conflict with your mate,
conflict with your kids, conflict with fellow
workers, conflict with neighbors, conflict with
grown kids. You are living in a world that's
sinful and fallen. And from the day you're born
to the day you die, there's going to be conflict.
Now, if you accept that, it changes your perspective.
Because a lot of us, you know, we spend all of
our energy trying to cover up conflict, trying
to push down conflict, trying to say it's not
really conflict or feeling guilty about conflict.
What you got to do is accept it's normal and
realize there's tools and ways to grow through
it. The second thing the scripture would say
is the sources of conflict, conflict grows. from
our differences and our selfishness. In other
words, not all conflict is even from sin. Now
I wish, because my passion is to teach the Bible,
all right? I mean, I wish that I could say, okay,
now open your Bibles. Don't go there because
we're going to do something else. I would say,
open your Bibles to Acts 15, and I could read
through that and explain the first 15 or 35 verses
and say, you know what, here's the Jerusalem
Council, and here's what happened, and the early
church was growing, and this group thought this,
and this other group thought this, and Paul went
on a missionary journey, and because of that,
he came back, and Judaism and Christianity were
in this collision course, and I could explain
it all. I can't. But what I want to do is I want
to give you this summary of about three or four
passages that will help you see among the most
godly, committed people to God, some sources
of conflict. And I've put them in your notes.
Source number one is our differences. Differences
in belief produce conflict. So sometimes the
question is, what's true? What's right? Sometimes
we disagree. Good people who love God disagree.
Is this right or is this right? And some good
people say, this is right. And some other good
people say, no, this is right. That produces
conflict. And we had that in the Jerusalem Council.
The Apostle Paul was preaching that you could
come directly to the Father by the work of Christ
and you didn't have to go through Judaism. And
the whole early church was all... Jews who came
to Christ, apart from those, you know, at Pentecost,
in fact, the first 20, 25 years, probably 95
more percent of the church, it was all converted
Jews. And so, you know, they're saying, well,
wait a second, you're messing with our traditions.
It's Jesus plus circumcision and plus doing this
and plus keeping part of the law. And the apostle
Paul said, no, no, no, no, no. And so they have
this big council. And in that counsel, they resolve
the conflict. And James pulls out an Old Testament
passage and Paul shares an experience that affirms
and Peter looks at it all. And then they come
to a conclusion and they take those differences
and they align them with the truth. But haven't
some of you met Christians that, you know, really
hold a theological position that's kind of over
here and they're real dogmatic about it? And
you know what? When you look at them, they love
God. You know, they have good marriages. They're
seeking to raise good kids. They serve in their
church and are reaching out, and yet you meet
someone else, oh, no, this is what we believe.
And often it's on minor issues. I'm not saying
that truth isn't important. It's very important.
But you need to understand that in the world
that we live in, even in the church, good, godly
people are going to disagree. And so what you
do is you do exactly what they did at the Jerusalem
Council. You go to the source of truth, you sit
down together, you dialogue, you ask God to show
you, and sometimes you even agree to disagree.
The second source of conflict is differences
in perspective. In the same chapter, Acts 15,
you have two of the closest friends. It says
a great schism, a great conflict, a friendship
is broken in Acts 15, beginning in verse 36 to
41. It's Paul and Barnabas. They're both good
men. They're both godly men, but they go on a
mission trip together. And you know, Paul is
very task oriented. You know what? We got to
get the job done. Barnabas, his name, it means
son of encouragement. He cares about people.
He wants to develop people. You know, he gives
people the second chance, the third chance, the
54th chance. Paul gives you the first chance,
the second chance. Buddy, do something else.
I got to have people can make it happen. All
right? You know, Paul's high D. Barnabas is high
I on the scales, right? And so they go on a missionary
trip and John Mark comes and we don't know all
the story, but at some point in time, it gets
hard, it gets difficult and he flakes out. And
they're getting ready to go on the next missionary
trip. And you know, Barnabas, I'm reading into
the text, read Acts 15. You think, boy, Chip
got a lot out of this. Well, I'm kind of, you
know, I'm kind of making it up a little bit,
give you a feel. But basically, you know, here
we're going to go again. And Barnabas goes, you
know what, John Mark, he has grown so much. I've
been spending time with him. He's in my Bible
study with some other guys. And you know what,
he had a few struggles, but I really think he's
going to do a great job this time. And Paul says
something like, I don't think he is. What do
you mean? Because he's not going. What do you
mean he's not going? I said, he's not going.
Hey, you know what? I can't tolerate flakes.
God gave us a mission. He had a chance. He blew
it. We're going to get out and God's mission
is going to be right on the bubble. And I can't
look over my shoulder and wonder whether this
guy's going to show up or not. Oh, Paul, you
don't understand. Come and get a life, man. I
mean, God was gracious to you. Don't you care
about people? Yeah, I care about people. And
I'm going to care about by the most people by
doing what God called me to do and not do it
with a bunch of flaky people like John Mark.
Boom, boom, boom. You get it? And it says a great
schism arose and Paul went this way and Barnabas
went this way. That can happen to people that
both really love God. Are you getting to see
how our differences bring about conflict? We're
gonna talk about solving it in a second. But
our theological differences, is there a wrong
or a right? It's philosophical, isn't it? One
philosophically is charged with the task. The
other thinks more about relationships. In the
big picture, what do we need? The task and the
relationships. There's not a wrong or a right.
In fact, what we find later is Barnabas gets
John Mark and develops him. So near the end of
Paul's ministry, Paul says, send Mark because
he has my parchments and he's been very profitable.
It's a good thing Barnabas didn't give up on
him, but it's probably a good thing Paul. didn't
give in. And he was the guy that led the mission
and the missionary journeys. And so differences
in beliefs, differences in perspective, sometimes
it's differences in style. You know, in Philippians
chapter four, I love, I love that God puts these
things in the Bible. You know, there's two ladies,
Euodia and Syntyche. And Paul says, these are
sisters in the gospel. And basically he kind
of pleads with Philippian church. Can you help
these ladies get it together? I love them both.
They've both helped me, but there's a rub. And,
you know, we don't get all the, we don't get
all the understanding, but, you know, maybe one
was an introvert and wasn't extrovert. And one
was saying, you know, we need all the napkins
all laid out for that. No, we don't need napkins.
Forget it. They can eat with their hands. No,
we got to do the, you know, and whatever it was,
these two ladies went at it. They just didn't
get along. And you don't get the idea that it
was sin or Paul would have addressed the sin
issue. And can I say something kind of out loud?
I hope you won't. Have you ever been in a small
group with a group of people? and just realized,
you know, they're godly. You open the Bible,
maybe you watch a video and people kind of talk
afterwards and you just don't like being there.
And then you felt guilty. You know, like maybe
it's a bunch of people that all they do is talk
about sports and you don't really like sports
or maybe you're like me and you get with a group
of people and, you know, all they talk about
is software, hardware, booting up and, you know,
and I don't know what they're talking about.
Or maybe they're from a part of the country and
their interests are over here and they just sort
of relate in a way that they all grew up with
and you always feel like on your outside looking
in. And you go to that small group and you feel
bad and you feel guilty because you think, I
don't connect. I don't like it. I don't have
chemistry. I don't get along. You know what I
think you ought to do? Find another small group.
God made us different people with different personalities
and different backgrounds. You can love everyone
and be committed to them. That doesn't mean you
have chemistry with everybody. And here's a couple
ladies that need to learn to get along, but probably
they shouldn't be in a small group together.
There's probably some people that would say,
you know what, I just like the way Euodia does
it. And others, you know, Syntyche, she's my
kind of gal. Do you see what I'm trying to get
at? There are theological differences, there
are philosophical differences, and there are
personality differences that are going to bring
conflict in your world. And in a fallen world,
Jesus promised on top of that, Just sin in itself
is going to bring about conflict. And so all
I want you to hear is this. The conflict in your
marriage and the conflict in your family is normal.
Quit trying to act like it's going to go away
and think that when it's smooth, life is right.
And secondly, quit thinking that somehow you've
done something wrong or there's a bad person
in the room when there's some conflict. It might
be, in fact, a great opportunity for growth.
You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip
Ingram. And we'll get you back to today's message
in just a minute. But quickly, it should be clear
from this new series how passionate we are about
encouraging husbands and wives and empowering
them to be God -honoring parents. And that's
why we've also created a new engaging tool that
couples can rely on every day to strengthen their
relationship. Stick around after the teaching
to learn how to get your hands on this resource.
But for now, here again is Chip. The fourth reason
we learn from Scripture where there's conflict
is probably the one that we can deal with, and
this is called selfish desires produce conflict.
This is the old my way versus her way, right?
James touches on it in James 4, 1 to 3. He raises
the question, what causes fights and quarrels
among you? Rhetorical question. Then he answers
it. Well, don't they come from your desires that
battle within you? Circle the word desires in
your notes. It's the idea of lust. And it's used
in this context as a powerful passion to get
your way. Doesn't it come from that deep down
inside that it needs to be my way? This is how
we should spend the money. This is what we should
do with the kids. This is what we should do on
vacation. And then he goes on to say, you want
something, but you don't get it. So you have
a block goal, frustrated. That ever happened
to you, your marriage? Has to us, hasn't it?
And then he goes, you kill and you covet, but
you cannot have what you want. In other words,
you don't get what you want. And so you go to
extremes. You murder with your words. You covet,
you lust for, you're envious. You have internal
struggles. You quarrel and you fight. You don't
have it because you don't ask God. So he says,
some of the things that God wants to solve, you
don't have it because you don't ask. And then
he expands it. He says, when you ask, You do
not receive because you ask with wrong motives
that you may spend it on what you get for your
pleasure. Circle the word pleasure. It's the
exact same word as lust above. They just translated
two different words. It's this selfish, I want
my way attitude. And I would suggest that in
your marriages, you're gonna have philosophical,
occasional theological differences. You're gonna
have personality differences. But the one thing
that you're gonna have as long. as you're on
this planet, in this body, is you're going to
have selfish desires and you're going to want
your way and your mate's going to want her way
and you better figure out how to deal with that
conflict. And part of it is just plain old, I
mean, can I say this like really out loud right
here in the 21st century? It's called sin. It's
just sin. I mean, it's just like, I've missed
the mark. As much as I can appear righteous,
loving, kind, sophisticated, there's times where
when Teresa and I have something, I want my way.
Now I've learned to couch that, even put a verse
around it, act sophisticated, make her feel guilty
to think that her way's wrong. But conflict is
an opportunity to grow. Open your Bibles now,
Philippians chapter two. This is the same letter
written to the two ladies that are having some
struggles. Conflict provides specific opportunities
to grow. And every time you overcome some conflict,
some good things happen. Paul begins in chapter
two, verses one and two with a, it sounds like
a rhetorical question, but grammatically you
could translate instead of if, grammatically
he's really saying, since this is true, since
this is true, since this is true. He's not saying,
well, if this would ever be true someday, some
way. It's a, what's called a. a class condition
in Greek that has the idea of certainty. He says,
if therefore, or since there's any encouragement
in Christ, if there's any consolation of love,
if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection
and compassion. And the answer to all those are
yes, yes, yes, yes. You're in Christ. Is there
encouragement in Christ? Yes. Is there consolation
in love? Yes. Is there fellowship in the spirit?
You're both believers, right? Yes. Is there genuine
love and affection? Then notice what he says,
verse two. Then make my joy complete. How? By
being of the same mind, maintaining the same
love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.
I would challenge you to look at that verse and
ask yourself just a quick Bible study question.
How many of those lines in verse two have to
do with unity? Same, one, unity. You get the
idea? He's saying, if you have this resource
of what God has done for you, if he's been loving,
if the spirit lives in both of you, you have
koinonia fellowship before God, then make my
joy complete. He's saying, work out relationships
in such a way we have the same mind, the same
purpose, one heart. What he's saying is, resolve
the conflict out of the resources in Christ.
And then in verses three and four, he's gonna
tell you how. And it's a command. This is not
like an option for a better marriage. This is
a command for how to do relationships in general,
but especially how to apply it in your own home.
Do nothing, do a few things, do sort of, no.
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit,
but with humility of mind, let each of you regard
one another as more important than himself. That
is the key to great relationships. At the heart
of the James passage about those lustful pleasures,
you know what's behind that? Ego. It's just pride.
I mean, our biggest conflicts in our marriage
have been a Chip Ingram problem. Ego, I want
my way on my terms. Teresa, I want you to fulfill
my needs. Teresa, I want you to take care of
that. Teresa, make my life work out. And the
solution... is to do nothing from selfishness
or empty conceit. But notice that phrase, with
humility of mind. Humility of mind is saying
the other person's needs, I don't, by the way,
I don't, doesn't mean I feel like it. The other
person's needs, I choose to put ahead of my own.
In fact, the most loving time is when you don't
feel like it. Jesus didn't feel like going to
the cross, did he? But you glad he went? I am.
Love doesn't have a whole lot to do with whether
you feel like it. With humility of mind, consider.
And that word consider means reckon, think, ponder,
evaluate. The other person is more important
than yourself. Look at verse four. Do not merely
look out for your own personal interests. That,
by the way, that phrase is the key to most marital
conflict. In my marriage, I mean, I can fake
it and I can position it, but most of us want
our own personal interests. And to break that,
don't look out for your own personal interests,
but also for the interests of others. And then
in verse five, he begins to give us the how -to.
Have this attitude in yourselves. Attitude, attitude,
attitude. Have this attitude in yourselves that
was in Christ Jesus. See, genuine humility isn't
a feeling about, I think this way about the other
person. Genuine humility is an attitude of, I'm
here to serve you. I want to help your life become
what God wants it to be. I want to serve you.
I want to help you. I want to come up first of
all in the day and think, what are the issues
that you're struggling with? How do I meet your
needs? Instead of saying, well, how do I meet
my needs and where are you missing it? Because
most of us, when it comes to conflict, we go
internal very quickly. And I just come up with
all the reasons why Teresa ought to be doing
things different and if she would, everything
would be okay, right? Notice the conflict is
an opportunity for growth in Christ. Not out
of your own flesh, but in Christ, differences
complement instead of compete. You realize, hey,
she does look at it different or he does look
at it different because it's not my way or her
way, it's our way. We're one flesh. Notice in
Christ, selfishness is transformed to servanthood.
To become a servant of your mate is a powerful,
powerful. Remember the very first thing when
we made the equilateral triangle? And I said,
your barrier with God and walking with God is
the most important thing you can ever do in your
marriage. You know why? Because you can't be
a servant to your mate without the supernatural
power of God's spirit living in me through the
power of his word and his spirit and being in
community with people to be a giver instead of
a taker. I can't do that. It's impossible. And
so it really becomes a spiritual issue. And then
finally, in Christ, we can fight fair and safely.
Those principles, you know, be honest, speak
the truth in love, be diligent, you know, be
positive. We can learn to fight fair and lovingly.
This is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram,
and you've been listening to part one of Chip's
message, Conflict Resolution. How to Fight Fair
in Marriage, from our series, Uninvited Guests,
recognizing and resisting the attacks on your
family. Chip will be back shortly to share some
helpful application for us to think about. Many
philosophers have likened marriage to an exciting
adventure, which is true. So how can you and
your spouse make the most of your journey together?
For the next couple of programs, Chip will highlight
two vital skills couples need to learn that'll
transform their relationship. When you learn
to communicate more clearly and effectively resolve
conflict, your connection to your mate will flourish
and also serve as a powerful model for your kids
to look up to. So whether you're a newlywed or
have been together for decades, CHIPS Insights
are sure to empower and encourage you. Chip's
here in studio with me now. And Chip, as you
sifted through all the research about marriage
and parenting for this series, there was one
myth that came up a lot. With all of this conflict
in our marriage, it's better for our kids if
we just get divorced. Dave, that is one of the
most believed myths about marriage. That old
school thinking of we're staying together just
for the kids is actually true. If there's challenges,
struggle, argument, kids will make it through.
They're very resilient. Now, here's the problem.
People don't want to stay together. When it gets
really hard, how do you resolve conflict? How
do you learn to communicate? There are so many
good Christians who are living like roommates
now. Their marriage isn't fulfilling. They want
to stay together for their kids, but they can't
imagine living the way they are forever and ever
and ever. And so they feel hopeless. Here's what
I want to say. You can work this out, and we
have a tool to help you. Marriage That Works
Truth Cards is a beginning step. to resolve some
big pains in your marriage and create an environment
that your kids can thrive in. We really want
to help you learn to communicate, to resolve
conflict. That begins with eliminating or addressing
lies that you believe. And then you have to have
some foundational truths. And if you'll review
a few of these every single day for 30 days,
60 days, your thinking will change, your words
will change, and your marriage will change. throw
away a good marriage or even a problem marriage
because of your present struggles. If you think
that there's an easy divorce and it doesn't impact
your kids, you're completely wrong. The impact
goes on for decades. Let's stay together. Let's
obey God's commands, and we want to help you.
So, Dave, take a minute and share with people
how they can get these cards. Sure, Chip. It's
actually really simple. Throughout this entire
series, for anyone who chooses to become a monthly
partner with Living on the Edge, we'll send you
these new Marriage That Works Truth Cards as
our way of saying thanks. So please pray about
supporting us. Your gifts have an eternal impact
as we fight for marriages and families everywhere.
To learn how to become a monthly partner, visit
livingontheedge .org or call us at 888 -333 -6003.
That's 888 -333 -6003 or go to livingontheedge
.org. App listeners, tap donate. With that, here
again is Chip. As we close today's program, conflict
is normal. conflict is an opportunity for growth.
Conflict must be diffused or it will destroy.
Healthy conflict demands rules so no one gets
hurt. And guess what? Conflict is inevitable
in a fallen world. And, you know, I just, there
is this. invisible, unwritten expectation that
I just want to scream that you think and I think,
because I do, that if we really love each other
and if we both really love God, everything's
going to be great. Wrong. It's going to be hard
in a fallen world. But there's many couples that
real intimacy, you know, the scripture says,
as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
You know, I want you to visualize, if you will,
your fingers being spread apart and then just
connecting the fingertips, interlocking them.
Okay, that's what I'm doing right now in the
studio. Intimacy is pushing those fingers toward
one another. You're actually invading your mate's
territory. When you invade your mate's territory,
there's going to be sparks. There's going to
be conflict. And you know what I see? I see couples
who say, we've never had an argument. In 41 years,
we've never had an argument. And you know what
I'm going to say? And you know what? You're pretty
superficial and you don't have very much deep
anything. It takes sparks. It takes conflict
that produce growth. In our next broadcast, I
will give you the rules, very specific rules
about. How to fight fair. You don't have to keep
fighting over the same old stuff and having the
same old defense mechanisms and playing the same
old games. Conflict can become your friend instead
of your enemy. Great encouragement for couples
to think about, Chip. Thanks. Hey, join us next
time as Chip continues our newest series, Uninvited
Guests. Until then, I'm Dave Drury saying thanks
for listening to this edition of Living on the
Edge.