For the first two years of our marriage, Teresa
and I argued and fought a lot. And then I learned
five principles from Scripture that revolutionized
how we dealt with those issues. If you want to
learn how to improve the communication with your
mate, stick around. Welcome to this edition of
Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. We are an
international teaching and discipleship ministry
devoted to helping Christians worldwide live
out their faith for the glory of God and the
good of all. We're in the middle of our ongoing
series, Uninvited Guests. Last time, he explained
that great marriages practice three essential
skills and highlighted the first one, which is
forgiving your mate. Today, he's focusing on
an area every couple can grow in, communication.
We'll stick around to learn how to engage with
your spouse in a sincere, heartfelt way while
also listening to their wants, needs, and desires.
So if you're ready, go to Ephesians chapter 4
in your Bible and settle in for his talk, How
to Share Hearts Instead of Exchange Words. Communication
is the highway upon which love travels. Okay?
Communication... is the highway upon which love
travels. You can love one another. You can love
God. You can be committed to one another. And
if you can't get out inside of you what you really
think and what you really feel, and if your mate
can't do it in a way that doesn't attack and
wound one another, I will tell you in years and
years of marriage counseling, there are people
that love one another, love God, and no longer
are together. because they could not communicate
and get to the heart of the issues. I told you
earlier about that first couple years of my life
and that professor sent us to marriage counseling
and I bet 90 % of it was learning to communicate.
We didn't know how to resolve anger and we didn't
know how to communicate. Well, you know what?
There's a lot of issues that if you can't get
the love traveling on the highway of communication,
you're dead. And the frustration boils over,
especially if you really love God and you wanna
get through and you want to express this to your
mate, but you just keep getting knocked down.
Pretty soon, the blame starts. The greatest,
most vivid example, it's in your notes. It starts
with, it all started with the car. It was early
pastorate that I had in Texas many, many years
ago, and I love to play basketball. If you've
ever heard me speak, you know I'm a basketball
junkie and had the privilege of playing in college
and then around the world for a couple, three
summers. And these neighbors had a hoop. And
so I knew these are going to be my friends. I
mean, you know, because I'm going to go play.
And we started playing and he had three boys
and I had boys. And one thing led to another.
And I found out that he was there. He'd been
through a couple of very difficult relationships
and he had four teenagers. And he was living
with a gal who'd been through some really painful
relationships and a couple, three marriages.
And she had a tiny little girl and they were
all living together. And so we went down and
played basketball, six, seven, eight, nine months.
And little by little got a chance to share Christ
with them. And then he came down one day and
I can still remember, you know, I was weeding
next to my mailbox and Dan comes by. Why didn't
you tell me? I said, what do you mean? Why didn't
you tell me? I said, why didn't I tell you what?
That you're one of those preacher types. You're
a pastor. I said, well, yeah, I am. He said,
well, we've been kind of watching you and Teresa
and we've been listening and we want to get married.
Will you marry us? And I'm thinking, oh boy.
I said, well, I tell you what, one of the things
I have is I always do six weeks minimum of counseling.
And you really need to know what marriage is
and it's kind of hard. And so I want to talk
about. how that works. And I would love to meet
with you and your wife and Teresa will do it
too. Well, we did it by about the third session.
They both came to Christ, amazing stories, great
redemption, and went through the whole process.
And then now we're into this new marriage, six
or nine months. They're both brand new in Christ.
They both love God. They're both in God's word.
They're both going, I will say it was a good
church. I got to be the pastor. It was a great
group of people. And so I came by and he was
in this traveling job where, you know, like Monday
through Thursday or even all the way to Friday,
he'd be traveling all over America in sales and
then come home. Well, she's with four teenagers
that aren't hers, okay? And they're making her
nuts. And so he comes home and he's thinking,
oh, I haven't seen my wife. Let's go out to dinner.
I'm gonna really love her. We're gonna have a
date, all this stuff. And she's thinking, we
gotta resolve conflict with Bob at school and
your other son and your daughter. She's dating
this guy and she's juggling all this stuff. And
so anyway, they come home and she's listening
and she's meeting with Teresa and he's meeting
with me. So this is, listen, listen. They love
each other, remember? They're committed to the
Lord, remember? They're actually growing spiritually,
remember? And so he comes home for the weekend,
and she says, I want to be other -centered and
grace -giving. So they go out to a beautiful
dinner. They have a romantic evening. They take
walks the next day. But she keeps waiting for,
when are we going to have the big talk? I mean,
when are you going to sit down and talk about,
you know, am I going to discipline these kids
and they're too big for me? And what about these
issues? And we've got all kinds of things we
need to do. Well, he wants to be other centered
and it's getting cold in Texas. So it's Sunday
afternoon and he's going to get on a plane about
five or six hours. So he is out underneath the
car, changing the oil of her car to make sure
the antifreeze. So he's loving her. All right.
You got the story. I walk down, I know we're
not gonna get to play basketball and one of my
kids runs out of the house and says, dad, you
better watch out. It's going like crazy down
there. I said, well, what do you mean? So I walk
up and by the time I get there, I mean, it is
a no holes barred. He's gonna half under the
car sitting up like that. There is veins, eyes
bulbing, plates have already been flowing. There
is cursing. There is you are this, everything
they've ever thought. I mean like. All, everything
they brought into their marriage that was ugly,
bad, they just spewed it on one another. And
I mean, my kid ran out and said, what happened?
Well, that plate almost hit me when it went by
and crashed against the wall, you know? And I
said, well, get home, you know? And so I watched
all this happen. And she's there thinking what?
Man, I'm loving these four adults. you know,
teenage adults. And I've got all this stuff on
my hands and you've been here two and a half
days. We've had a decent talk and you're going
to get on a plane. I'm stuck with all this. I
don't know what we're going to do. And he's thinking,
you know what? I have come home and I have wined
and dined instead of getting a workout and doing
some stuff I wanted to do. And I took these romantic
walks and talks like Chip says we're supposed
to do and all this jazz. And here I am out here
trying to get your car ready for you. So you're
safe and you treat. And I will, I remember doing
a debrief about a week later and hours with him,
Teresa hours with her, bringing them both together.
Here's what I can tell you. He did what he did
all weekend for one reason. He loved her. She
did what she did all weekend because she loved
him. They both put the other person first in
a way that they understood to obey God. And they
had one of the biggest fights that put a barrier
in their marriage that they never recovered from.
See, we learned you need to love God and know
His plan. They knew it. We said they're barriers.
They identified they're barriers and they loved
one another and they were operating to solve
it. But what they couldn't do is they had not
learned how on the highway of communication.
to get the love that was in heart for his wife
and her love for him on the highway of communication
in a way that it could get received. And under
pressure, they went back to the old ways. And
you know, to this day, I know two people are
no longer together who love one another, who
both love God, because they didn't learn what
we're going to learn right now. Let's talk about
the communication process. We're going to learn
what it is and how it works. Understanding the
communication process, the definition is the
meeting of meanings. Write the word meanings.
Communication is not talking. It's when the meaning,
what's in your heart, what do you really mean,
somehow goes across this highway into the heart
and to the mind of your mate. Norman Wright says,
communication is the privilege of exchanging
vulnerabilities. By the way, the word vulnerable,
it means open to woundedness. See, great communication
is always risky and often painful before it gets
good. Norman Wright also says, communication
is the process of sharing yourself verbally and
non -verbally in such a way that the other person,
listen, can both accept and understand what you're
saying. So if you say it in a way where they
can't accept it or they can't understand it,
you don't communicate. You can say, I said the
right words. I wrote it down. This is the way
it is. If they can't hear it, you didn't communicate.
And a lot of times we do things unintentionally,
completely unintentionally, that shut down the
communication process. Many of us think, especially
us as men, we think communication, look, that's
what I said. I said I love you, okay? Look, I
love you. You don't get it? What's the deal?
I love you. Hey, I said it once, I said it twice.
I love you, okay? Get over it. Now, what did
my words say? Someone could have put that in
a transcript and said, oh my, Chip's such a wonderful
husband. He just said six times in a row, I love
you. Except that wasn't my tone of voice, was
it? Notice on your notes, the complete message,
words alone are about 7%. Tone of voice, 38%.
Facial expression, gestures, posture, the nonverbal,
55%. And by the way, that's sometimes, as men,
we get really frustrated because we're really
trying, but they can read behind. And some of
you guys can do it too. It's kind of like, yeah,
we need that deep talk. Yeah, go ahead, hon,
whatever. I mean, tell me, I really want to hear.
Communication, that's kids. Yeah, let's go. No,
I'm listening, I'm listening. You see, your body,
your presence, your face, your tone of voice,
your eyes, all of that is how we communicate
with one another. And if we think I said the
right thing or I even meant the right thing,
and if you think you got through, you may not
have all. And I noticed it's a skill. It's the
highway on which love travels. It is a skill.
It can be learned. But most of us did not grow
up with models where people communicated clearly
and well. And most of us don't know how. I mean,
I spent about $90. That was a student rate. I
spent $90. I'm making $1 ,000 a month in seminary.
And I've got three kids. I'm working full -time,
going to school full -time. And I've got this
little tiny apartment that you can live all that
on 1 ,000. I paid $90 for 12 weeks in a row to
learn how to communicate. So actually, I should
be charging most of you for me telling you what
these counselors taught me, all right? And then
I have some passages that'll be helpful too.
But it's a skill. There's five levels of communication
according to author John Powell, who wrote the
book, Why I'm Afraid to Tell You Who I Am. He
says there's the cliche, level one, safe, shallow,
you know. How are you? I'm fine. There's level
two, reporting facts, refers to basically third
person. Have you heard about the weather today?
No, I think it's going to rain. There's level
three, ideas or judgment. Risk begins here because
there's attachment of yourself with the facts.
So what did you think of that message last week
in church? What do you think about the current
political situation? What do you think about
what we need to do with our money? Do you see?
Now, what you say may cause a little conflict,
so it's getting a little bit more dangerous.
Level four is feelings and emotions, laying self
on the line. I feel hurt. I'm struggling. I'm
depressed. I was really offended last night when
we were with that couple and you brought that
subject up that, you know, you never talked with
me about that. I felt really damaged. Level five
is open communication, total honesty, mutual
understanding, vulnerability, no holes barred.
Now on the left side of your notes, at the very
top where it says level one, I want you to write
the word safe and put a box around it. And then
at the very bottom where it says level five,
I want you to write the word dangerous. Because
here's what you need to understand. Shallow communication
is very safe, but it doesn't lead to intimacy.
Intimacy occurs at levels four and five. It moves
from safe to dangerous, but deeply fulfilling
along with deeply painful conversations happen
at levels four and especially at level five.
And if you don't understand, then you'll start
opening up and you'll start sharing. And then
some hard things are going to come out and you're
going to get wounded and you're going to get
hurt. And instead of realizing, oh, this is normal.
This is like we're at level 4 .5. And I guess
I need to be real sensitive to what the Spirit's
saying so that before it comes out of my mouth,
I really process it. And instead of striking
back, maybe I really need to listen carefully.
There may be a nugget of truth into this. See,
if you don't know it's dangerous, then you'll
react. right? And pretty soon you'll close down.
And we want to talk about, so how in the world
do you move from level one down progressively
in different areas to level five? Intimacy always
occurs at levels four and five. But some of you
might be having this thought, well, wait a minute.
You know, I've tried that before and you're right.
There is a lot of pain. I was really open before.
And we've done some of that. And you know what?
If you're going to ask me to go there again,
I'm not going to do it because it hurt too badly.
I want to suggest is that you need some rules.
You need some principles from God to build that
highway of communication so you can go there
without getting hurt. All right? This is Living
on the Edge with Chip Ingram. And Chip will be
back to finish today's message in just a minute.
But let me first gently ask you, is your marriage
in trouble right now? Do you and your mate need
a practical biblical tool to revive and transform
your relationship? Well, we've developed a brand
new resource designed to do just that. So stick
around after the teaching to hear about this
practical way we are encouraging couples. Until
then, here again is Chip to continue our series,
Uninvited Guests. So with that, let me give you
five principles I believe that will transform
communication in your home. If you open your
Bibles to Ephesians chapter four, the context
is really exciting because the first three chapters
are about all these wonderful, great things that
God has done. You're a new person in Christ.
And then chapter four opens up, now walk. in
a manner worthy of your calling. In other words,
how do you live out this new supernatural life?
The Spirit of God has taken up residence in you.
You've been taken out of the kingdom of darkness.
You've been pulled into the kingdom of light.
Your sins are gone. You have peace. The Spirit
lives in you. You're a part of a new family called
the church. You are going to be transformed.
He says, how does it work? And in the first 17
verses, he begins to explain about who you are
in Christ and how your mind needs to be transformed.
And the supernatural thing called the church
is called a community where he gives apostles
and prophets and evangelists and teachers so
that he equipped the saints to do the work in
the ministry until everyone is mature. And the
idea is where we, all the fullness, we become
more and more like Jesus. And then after he lays
all that out, he picks it up and he says, okay,
now let me. target about five specific areas
about how this practically works out in your
relationships. How do you live out this new supernatural
life, the spirit of God in you? You're born again.
You're a Christian. How does it work in relationships?
And he gives five very simple principles. Principle
number one, you pick it up in verse 15, but he
develops it in verse 25. And it's simply put,
be honest. Write those two words down. Speak
the truth in love. I mean, this is the key to
communication. It is easy to speak the truth.
It is easy to speak in love. It is very hard
to speak the truth in love. I mean, you know,
it's easy to speak the truth. You gained a lot
of weight lately. What's the problem? Oh, nothing
really. I think it's the lazy guy I'm married
to. The truth is just right out there on the
table. No problem here, right? But I'm not sure
that's going to bring about good communication.
Or you don't. ever mention areas that are of
pain or a problem. Oh, you're wonderful. I'm
wonderful. You're wonderful. I'm wonderful. No,
you're more wonderful. No, no, no, no, no. You're
wonderful, but I'm more wonderful. And you just
take all that junk, you don't face it, and you
push it down. Speaking the truth isn't hard.
Speaking in love isn't hard. Speaking the truth
in love requires tremendous spirit -directed
capacity. Notice what he says in verse 15, but
speaking the truth in love, notice what happens.
We are to grow up into all aspects into him who
is the head, even Christ. Finish then with lying
and tell your neighbor the truth. Well, your
mate is a neighbor. We are not separate units,
but intimately related to one another in Christ.
It means that we stop pretending. It means we
don't lie. And it means that in a very calculated,
wise, God -ordained way, we begin to move into
levels four and five, and we start talking honestly
about areas that are of conflict, areas that
are hard, areas where you're dissatisfied, areas
where you feel wounded. But you speak the truth
in a way where the other person can hear it because
it's couched in, I'm not down on you. This is
not payback. And I'm gonna give you some specific
skills toward the end about how to do this, okay?
But what you gotta do, we've gotta be honest.
You don't grow unless we're honest with one another.
One of the little applications I would give you
right in your notes, make direct requests. One
of the things we do is we think our mates can
read our minds. And so, you know, the car is
a quarter low on empty. And your husband drives
your car and it comes back all the way on empty.
And you're frustrated and everything. And so
what we go to is, you know, I can't believe he's
so inconsiderate. Why does he leave my car that
way? Well, you know, I'll get news for you. If
he's anything like me, I don't know where my
car is. Heaven knows I know what yours is. You
know, often my wife grew up with a dad who was
like Mr. Fix -It, you know, like Mr. Rogers on
steroids, except, you know, Mr. Green Jeans was
there. And he painted his house every three years,
whether it needed or not. I didn't even notice
when our house needed painted, okay? And so she's
thinking I'm gonna be like him. And so she's
assuming, well, you know, why have you serviced
the cars? They're not running? You know, or,
you know, when are we going to repair this thing?
It doesn't look broken to me. That's way too,
I wasn't good or bad. I just, you know what my
dad was good at? Catching baseballs, hitting
baseballs, playing basketball. He was a golden
glove boxer. You know what I learned? I learned
how to do sports. I didn't, you know, when something
broke, my dad's call the repairman. He couldn't
do anything and he reproduced after himself.
And you know what she learned? Here's a skill,
make direct requests. You know what she started
doing? Simple things like, Chip, are you going
to use my car right now? Yeah, because I need
it. It's got more room. Would you mind filling
it with gas? No. In fact, I did it. It felt like
a hero. Ooh, boy, look at this, you know? In
fact, I started changing the oil. I mean, she
thought I was metamorphosized right in front
of her. Speak the truth in love. Those kind of
issues like that sometimes go unspoken for 10,
15, 20 years in marriages. Second, you didn't
know this much was in the Bible, did you? Be
angry. Deal with anger appropriately. Notice
what it says. If you're angry, be sure that it's
not out of wounded pride or a bad temper. Never
go to bed angry. Don't give the devil that sort
of foothold. That's a Phillips translation of
Ephesians 4, 26 and 27. The literal translation
is be angry. It's a command. It's an imperative.
Yet, do not sin. Don't let the sun go down on
your anger. Anger is the most destructive emotion
in any marriage relationship. Anger is the distance
between your expectations and your experience
is anger. The difference between what you thought
was gonna happen and what you're currently experiencing
creates anger. Now, sometimes it's justified
and sometimes it's not. It just, you know, they
just tick you off a little bit and it's because
you're selfish. But he says, be angry. If you
don't deal with that anger and if you push it
down, you know, some researchers say as much
as 90 % of all depression is rooted in unresolved
anger. Well, I can tell you it will cause your
stomach to do this. But here's what's worse.
What's this verse say? You know, we don't think
about, you know, the spirit world and, you know,
Jesus came to what? To give life. The enemy came
to destroy and to steal and to kill. What's this
verse say? Be angry, yet don't sin. Don't let
the enemy get a foothold. You know, when you
go to bed mad, When you have unresolved anger,
when you push it down, you're inviting demonic
spirits to begin to divide. And then you start
playing in your mind and blame shifting. Man,
I'll tell you what, it is a serious thing to
be able to say, I feel angry. I don't know how
we need to resolve it, but I feel angry about.
One of the little tools, and I feel bad giving
this away because I paid my $90 for 12 weeks,
but I'm giving it to you free, so I want you
to write this down. A skill here is what we call
I feel messages. Our Christian counselor, on
a three by five card, it was on our refrigerator
for two years. I feel blank when you blank. Okay,
you want me to go over that again slower? Okay,
I feel blank, hurt. angry, frustrated, lonely,
when you blank, don't come home on time, don't
call, are not affectionate or responsive. I feel
blank when you blank. See, what we tend to do
is we use ought and should and never and always.
You should never do that. You always do that.
How do parents talk to children? Ought, should,
never, always. When you hear that from your mate,
those are fighting words. You tell a man, you
never, you ought, you should. His manhood is
challenged. You want, hey, you think that's it?
And when you say that to a woman, it's like some,
you're not my father talking down to me and making
me feel small. Well, if you think she's withdrawing
now, you keep talking like that. My wife and
I bumped heads and we didn't know how to resolve
anger. And that card was on here. And I had one
thing that drove her crazy. She would make dinner
and she is what we call a dot. communicator.
I'm a dash communicator. Dot communicators mean
when they say something, there's a period at
the end of it. We're going to eat at 5 .30. Dot.
It's concrete. I mean, not 5 .31, 5 .30. And
when you come in at 20 till 6, I'm a dash. 5
.30, you say, hey, let's meet at 5 .30. To me,
that's 20 after 5, 20 to 6, depending on traffic,
depending on whatever else is happening. I'm
sure you understand. I understand. I'll give
you grace. You give me grace. Okay, I'm a dash,
I'm married to a dot. Yet another difference.
So it's 5 .30, and I come in not at 22, and I
don't call, and it's now six o 'clock, and I'm
thinking, you don't understand. I'm working full
-time. I'm going to school full -time. Like two
afternoons, I can play pickup basketball. When
you play pickup basketball, when you win, you
stay on. Okay? Okay? I've won three games. I'm
not going to leave when I'm still on. I mean,
this is my one little fun. You know, I mean,
I'm the skinny little white kid playing. I'm
on. I'm gonna, I can't go home. And so I come
home like 30, 40 minutes late and I've had a
great time playing basketball. And then here
we go again. You ought, you should, you never.
Here's the cold supper. And then we fought about
it. And then so we communicated as we did. She
would shut down for two or three days and I would,
you know, try and make it up to her. And then
I kept doing the same thing. And I'll never forget,
I came home typically late, and instead of she
acting like my mother, and by the way, when your
wife acts like your mother, just take her to
the bank, honey. We were going, bam, you know,
right? And so she didn't have her hands on her
hips, and there was candles, and she goes, your
food's in the oven. I'll get it for you if you
want to sit down. Uh -oh. Do -do -do -do -do
-do -do -do, you know, you know. I don't know
what this counselor's teaching her, but it's
getting scary. And so she brings it, and she
sets it down. And she said, I want you to know
the kids and I had a good meal. I said, oh. You
know, I'm thinking, oh, gosh, I'm not sure how
to handle this. And so I sat down, and I started
to eat. And she just waited, calm, under control,
clothed, in her right mind. And I had all my
defenses up. And I'll never forget, she looked
at me, and she said, Chip, I feel. like you don't
love me when I spend all day cooking a meal to
express my love to you and you don't show up
and you don't call. It was like, get up and fight
like a real man. You know, eyes watering up.
I feel like, do you see where the attack has
gone? It's an I feel message. And pretty soon
it was I feel frustrated. I feel confused. I
feel lonely. I feel left out. And you can learn
to begin to express anger with this little message
that doesn't attack the person. And then, you
know, I don't know, something happened. I just
thought, now, wait a second. I love to play ball,
but I love my wife. If this makes her feel like
I don't love her. Hey, guys, I got news for you.
You know what? Get a brother over here and it's
chain link fans. I said, you know what? This
is your lucky day. I'm on and this is my team
and you get my spot. I got to go. Okay, you can
run. And I got home. I mean, it got to be, I
rarely ever was not on time because as long as
she was chiding me, as long as she was trying
to get to change me, instead of opening her heart
and telling me how she felt, then we were in
a battle. When I realized I was wounding her.
Well, I mean, I may not be sensitive, but I'm
not a jerk. That is what, you know, isn't it
the kindness of the Lord that brings us to repentance?
It was her kindness that transformed me, not
her nagging. This is Living on the Edge with
Chip Ingram, and you've been listening to part
one of Chip's message, How to Share Hearts Instead
of Exchange Words, from our series, Uninvited
Guests, Recognizing and Resisting the Attacks
on Your Family. Chip will be back shortly to
share some helpful application for us to think
about. Many philosophers have likened marriage
to an exciting adventure, which is true. So how
can you and your spouse make the most of your
journey together? For the next couple of programs,
Chip will highlight two vital skills couples
need to learn that will transform their relationship.
When you learn to communicate more clearly and
effectively resolve conflict, your connection
to your mate will flourish and also serve as
a powerful model for your kids to look up to.
So whether you're a newlywed or have been together
for decades, CHIPS Insights are sure to empower
and encourage you. Chip's with me in studio now,
and Chip, your mentor, Howard Hendricks, once
said that the family is the cornerstone of society.
So what are we doing as a ministry to address
all the chaos and dysfunction surrounding families
today? Well, Dave, really, the answer to that
is pretty easy. When you see the discipleship
deficit, it all begins with the family. And if
families are going to be strong, that begins
with a strong marriage of a husband and a wife
who understand they're being bombarded each and
every day with lies about what makes a great
relationship. And so we've created some brand
new resources that aren't a big book you have
to read or a seminar you need to go to, but something
to put on your nightstand that day by day, it
could really transform your thinking and as a
result, your marriage. We're calling them Marriage
That Works Truth Cards. And during this series,
we're doing something really radical. For those
who choose to become monthly partners, we want
to give you Marriage That Works Truth Cards as
a way to say thanks. So today, would you consider
being a financial partner to help us to repair
and to strengthen marriages? Great challenge,
Chip. And please know how much we appreciate
your sacrifice. Your regular support allows us
to plan our next steps as a ministry and be ready
to walk through doors that God opens for us.
And as Chip said during this entire series, if
you become a monthly financial partner of Living
on the Edge, we'll send you our newest resource,
The Marriage That Works Truth Cards, as our thank
you. Learn more by going to livingontheedge .org
or by calling 888 - Again, that's 888 -333 -6003
or visit livingontheedge .org. App listeners,
tap donate. With that, here again is Chip to
share a few final words. Communication is the
highway upon which love travels. And you've got
to get this. I love Teresa with all my heart.
She loved me with all her heart. And I mean,
she made me nuts. I mean, I just thought she
was so narrow. What's the big deal? I just want
to play basketball. And she thought I was so
inconsiderate. We didn't connect. We didn't know
how to break through that barrier until we used
that tool, that I feel message. And I mean, it
was like a dagger in my heart when she said,
I feel her. when you, and then she explained
it. And so here's the application for you. I
want you to write onto the three by five card,
I feel blank when you dot, dot, dot. And then
instead of nagging and oughts and shoulds and
trying to power your mate and get him to understand,
I want you to use an I feel message. You just
can't let your heart get wounded. You can't get
bitter. You can't feel like it's impossible.
When you love one another, the problem's not
the person. The problem is discovering how to
communicate your love in a way where the other
person can get it. And it can happen. Today,
use one I feel message. God will honor it. Good
word, Chip. Listen in next time as Chip picks
up in our newest series, Uninvited Guests. Until
then, this is Dave Drewy saying thanks for joining
us for this edition of Living on the Edge.