WEBVTT 00:00:01.159 --> 00:00:04.000 The late author and Christian psychologist James 00:00:04.000 --> 00:00:07.400 Dobson once wrote, Our society can be no more 00:00:07.400 --> 00:00:10.339 stable than the foundation of individual family 00:00:10.339 --> 00:00:13.720 units upon which it rests. Our government, our 00:00:13.720 --> 00:00:16.460 institutions, our schools, indeed our way of 00:00:16.460 --> 00:00:18.839 life, are dependent on healthy marriages and 00:00:18.839 --> 00:00:21.199 loyalty to the vulnerable little children around 00:00:21.199 --> 00:00:24.219 our feet. But with that in mind, it's clear why 00:00:24.219 --> 00:00:26.980 we've seen a shocking rise in divorce, sexual 00:00:26.980 --> 00:00:30.179 sin, rebellion, and discord within our homes. 00:00:30.699 --> 00:00:33.179 Satan wants nothing more than to destroy your 00:00:33.179 --> 00:00:35.380 marriage and sever the connection to your kids 00:00:35.380 --> 00:00:38.960 by any means necessary. I'm Dave Drew, and today 00:00:38.960 --> 00:00:40.939 on Living on the Edge, we'll begin Chip's newest 00:00:40.939 --> 00:00:44.600 series, Uninvited Guests, recognizing and resisting 00:00:44.600 --> 00:00:47.600 the attacks on your family. Over the next month, 00:00:47.719 --> 00:00:50.740 Chip identifies the prominent misbeliefs, conflicts, 00:00:50.840 --> 00:00:53.640 and challenges that threaten to derail your relationship 00:00:53.640 --> 00:00:56.820 with your spouse and your kids. Stay with us 00:00:56.820 --> 00:00:59.280 as he provides powerful insights from Scripture 00:00:59.280 --> 00:01:02.179 to help couples strengthen their marriage and 00:01:02.179 --> 00:01:04.459 empower them to be the parents their kids need 00:01:04.459 --> 00:01:07.200 them to be. And let me tell you, this is a series 00:01:07.200 --> 00:01:09.719 every husband, wife, father, and mother needs 00:01:09.719 --> 00:01:12.459 to hear. So let me strongly encourage you to 00:01:12.459 --> 00:01:15.200 invite a few married friends to listen to, either 00:01:15.200 --> 00:01:17.980 through livingontheedge .org or wherever you 00:01:17.980 --> 00:01:21.099 listen to podcasts. Okay, with that set up, here's 00:01:21.099 --> 00:01:23.859 Chip to kick off this new series with his message, 00:01:24.060 --> 00:01:28.019 The Fight for a Godly Family. I remember sitting 00:01:28.019 --> 00:01:30.560 in a group in an office. It was fairly late at 00:01:30.560 --> 00:01:32.260 night. There was about seven or eight of us. 00:01:32.299 --> 00:01:35.540 We're all very, very close. These are men super 00:01:35.540 --> 00:01:38.480 committed to Christ. And we begin to share about 00:01:38.480 --> 00:01:41.719 our families and our journeys. Some were younger. 00:01:41.819 --> 00:01:44.319 Some were older. Some had adult children. Some 00:01:44.319 --> 00:01:47.120 of us have grandchildren. And we begin to just 00:01:47.120 --> 00:01:50.040 share the challenges and the pain and the difficulties 00:01:50.040 --> 00:01:52.659 and the issues that were happening with some 00:01:52.659 --> 00:01:55.599 of our adult children or grandchildren. And that 00:01:55.599 --> 00:01:57.959 struck a chord because these are people that 00:01:57.959 --> 00:02:00.079 are in God's Word on a regular basis. These are 00:02:00.079 --> 00:02:02.579 people that are committed to doing life God's 00:02:02.579 --> 00:02:05.480 way. And all of us know the culture has been 00:02:05.480 --> 00:02:09.199 hostile to a godly family. And I begin to ponder 00:02:09.199 --> 00:02:12.300 this level of pain, this level of frustration, 00:02:12.699 --> 00:02:15.979 these issues and these families. Lord, what's 00:02:15.979 --> 00:02:19.020 going on here? But family's big right now. And 00:02:19.020 --> 00:02:23.319 in the last six or seven months, I've had experiences 00:02:23.319 --> 00:02:26.520 with people that I'm very, very close to who 00:02:26.520 --> 00:02:30.139 has a son or daughter that I know who has grown 00:02:30.139 --> 00:02:33.300 up in a very solid Christian home. And it's been 00:02:33.300 --> 00:02:35.620 everything from mom and dad, I think I'm gay, 00:02:35.759 --> 00:02:38.240 to mom and dad, I think I'm a girl, but I'm in 00:02:38.240 --> 00:02:41.120 a boy's body, to mom and dad, I don't think I 00:02:41.120 --> 00:02:44.800 believe in God at all anymore. And then we have 00:02:44.800 --> 00:02:47.319 a conversation with parents feeling overwhelmingly 00:02:47.319 --> 00:02:50.699 guilty. What did we do wrong? Or what's happened? 00:02:50.840 --> 00:02:53.300 And how could this happen? And where did it start? 00:02:53.780 --> 00:02:56.939 I want to talk to you about family. And I'm not 00:02:56.939 --> 00:03:00.280 Jim Daly. Focus on the family. I'm not James 00:03:00.280 --> 00:03:03.599 Dobson. I'm not a psychologist. I'm a pastor. 00:03:04.000 --> 00:03:07.340 I've been a pastor for over 40 years now. I've 00:03:07.340 --> 00:03:10.539 got four grown kids. I've got 12 grandkids. And 00:03:10.539 --> 00:03:13.710 I've seen the whole gamut. Here's what I have 00:03:13.710 --> 00:03:17.090 to tell you. I believe we need to address the 00:03:17.090 --> 00:03:20.270 family in a new way. I think we've got to address 00:03:20.270 --> 00:03:23.069 the issues that are happening in a more dynamic 00:03:23.069 --> 00:03:25.930 way, in a way that I haven't personally in the 00:03:25.930 --> 00:03:29.099 past. with real focus. Well, Chip, you know, 00:03:29.139 --> 00:03:31.560 you've got a series on marriage that works and 00:03:31.560 --> 00:03:34.280 you teach Ephesians 5 about the family and men 00:03:34.280 --> 00:03:36.419 and women. And you have a series called Effective 00:03:36.419 --> 00:03:39.400 Parenting. And you have another series on experiencing 00:03:39.400 --> 00:03:41.639 God's dream for your marriage and all those skills 00:03:41.639 --> 00:03:44.419 about communication, resolving conflict. And 00:03:44.419 --> 00:03:46.680 if you want some good teaching from us at Living 00:03:46.680 --> 00:03:48.960 on the Edge, by God's grace has helped a lot 00:03:48.960 --> 00:03:52.560 of people. But there's something amiss. that 00:03:52.560 --> 00:03:55.439 the heart behind the kind of things that we see, 00:03:55.520 --> 00:03:58.840 these symptoms, these struggles, I think something 00:03:58.840 --> 00:04:02.319 has happened that we haven't recognized. We haven't 00:04:02.319 --> 00:04:06.080 recognized that we're in a battle. And so often, 00:04:06.199 --> 00:04:08.560 you know, sometimes I teach something and I've 00:04:08.560 --> 00:04:11.280 actually said the words, but the light didn't 00:04:11.280 --> 00:04:13.439 come on for me. You do a series on marriage. 00:04:13.639 --> 00:04:16.040 You do a series on children. Then you do a series 00:04:16.040 --> 00:04:18.220 on work and relationships. And you know what 00:04:18.220 --> 00:04:20.339 I've heard myself say is, now you need to understand 00:04:20.339 --> 00:04:23.040 that all those relationships happen in the context 00:04:23.040 --> 00:04:25.620 of spiritual warfare. I've said that out loud 00:04:25.620 --> 00:04:28.120 before. But it's just been recently I realized, 00:04:28.300 --> 00:04:31.819 oh my, that's where the real battle is. And so 00:04:31.819 --> 00:04:33.720 it doesn't surprise me when the Apostle Paul 00:04:33.720 --> 00:04:36.000 talks about, if any man is in Christ, if any 00:04:36.000 --> 00:04:38.240 woman is in Christ, you're a new creation. The 00:04:38.240 --> 00:04:40.600 old things pass away. Behold, all things become 00:04:40.600 --> 00:04:43.649 new. You're born again. You're born from above. 00:04:43.970 --> 00:04:46.970 You've turned from darkness. You're in a relationship 00:04:46.970 --> 00:04:49.949 with God through Christ. And then walk in a manner 00:04:49.949 --> 00:04:53.189 worthy. The verse here is Ephesians 4. Walk means 00:04:53.189 --> 00:04:56.329 to live out day by day. Walk in a manner worthy 00:04:56.329 --> 00:04:58.850 of your calling. And then in verse 17, he says, 00:04:58.870 --> 00:05:01.189 now walk no longer like your former manner of 00:05:01.189 --> 00:05:03.850 life. We want to go back to the way we used to 00:05:03.850 --> 00:05:06.310 live. And so he says, instead, you need to cut 00:05:06.310 --> 00:05:08.569 off the old. You renew your mind. You put on 00:05:08.569 --> 00:05:11.009 the new. And then he's going to give them practical 00:05:11.009 --> 00:05:13.089 ways to go into training to do that. And then 00:05:13.089 --> 00:05:15.389 chapter five, he says, not only walk worthy of 00:05:15.389 --> 00:05:17.250 your calling and don't walk in the old ways, 00:05:17.310 --> 00:05:20.990 walk in love, just as Christ also walked in love. 00:05:21.290 --> 00:05:23.889 And then he'll later on say, walk as children 00:05:23.889 --> 00:05:26.829 of the light. In other words, you live in such 00:05:26.829 --> 00:05:30.410 a way where your life, your relationships, your 00:05:30.410 --> 00:05:34.209 family is exposing and spreading and making real 00:05:34.209 --> 00:05:37.350 what's true. And then finally, verse 15, be very 00:05:37.350 --> 00:05:40.990 careful how you walk or you live, not as unwise, 00:05:41.069 --> 00:05:43.829 but as wise. And then he says, making the most 00:05:43.829 --> 00:05:47.730 of the opportunity. Why? The days are evil. And 00:05:47.730 --> 00:05:49.990 if Paul thought the days were evil, then think 00:05:49.990 --> 00:05:52.949 about what he might say now. The days are evil. 00:05:53.360 --> 00:05:55.879 God wants us to walk. He wants our relationships 00:05:55.879 --> 00:05:59.199 to work. So it starts with what? Don't be drunk 00:05:59.199 --> 00:06:02.040 with wine, but instead be filled or controlled 00:06:02.040 --> 00:06:04.800 by God's spirit. Let your relationship with God, 00:06:04.800 --> 00:06:06.620 with Jesus, by the power of the Holy Spirit, 00:06:06.680 --> 00:06:09.379 be the central, most important thing. Let that 00:06:09.379 --> 00:06:12.680 focus your mind around the truth and how to live. 00:06:13.019 --> 00:06:15.420 And then it goes right from there to what? This 00:06:15.420 --> 00:06:18.439 is how marriage works. Men, love your wives the 00:06:18.439 --> 00:06:21.199 way Jesus loved the church. Ladies. respond to 00:06:21.199 --> 00:06:23.000 your husbands the way the church responds to 00:06:23.000 --> 00:06:25.819 Christ. And then children, obey your parents. 00:06:26.120 --> 00:06:28.959 This is a blessing. This will help you. And then 00:06:28.959 --> 00:06:33.240 finally we get what? Spiritual warfare. So we 00:06:33.240 --> 00:06:35.360 put on the belt of truth. In other words, there's 00:06:35.360 --> 00:06:37.819 lies about our relationship with God. There's 00:06:37.819 --> 00:06:40.600 lies that were given in our marriage or our parenting 00:06:40.600 --> 00:06:42.839 or in our work. And then the breastplate of righteousness 00:06:42.839 --> 00:06:46.439 is living a righteous life. Satan wants to condemn 00:06:46.439 --> 00:06:49.449 us. He wants to condemn that we're not living 00:06:49.449 --> 00:06:51.910 up to and God's down on us. And the shield of 00:06:51.910 --> 00:06:53.550 faith, we need to have God's word and be able 00:06:53.550 --> 00:06:55.769 to speak God's word in a way in the midst of 00:06:55.769 --> 00:06:57.870 our marriages and our home life and identify 00:06:57.870 --> 00:07:01.170 the truth and the lies. And having our feet shod 00:07:01.170 --> 00:07:03.850 with the gospel is about being grounded and being 00:07:03.850 --> 00:07:06.350 stable in the midst of a world where there's 00:07:06.350 --> 00:07:09.589 doubts bombarding us. This passage on spiritual 00:07:09.589 --> 00:07:13.790 warfare is geared around identifying the lies 00:07:13.790 --> 00:07:17.329 in every aspect of a family. And then helping 00:07:17.329 --> 00:07:20.730 you in your relationship with God, and if you're 00:07:20.730 --> 00:07:22.930 married, in your singleness, those that have 00:07:22.930 --> 00:07:27.050 children, how to do that in a way where you identify 00:07:27.050 --> 00:07:31.170 the lie, cast it behind you, renew your mind, 00:07:31.350 --> 00:07:34.410 understand God's truth, abide in that truth, 00:07:34.550 --> 00:07:37.629 and what did Jesus promise? You shall know the 00:07:37.629 --> 00:07:41.699 truth, and the truth will set you free. I had 00:07:41.699 --> 00:07:44.899 a very unusual experience in the last year. I 00:07:44.899 --> 00:07:47.540 was asked at the local church that I go to, hey, 00:07:47.639 --> 00:07:49.480 could you help out with the young marrieds? And 00:07:49.480 --> 00:07:51.939 maybe they could go through your book, and whenever 00:07:51.939 --> 00:07:54.040 you're in town, you could teach the class. And 00:07:54.040 --> 00:07:55.680 so we did that in the fall, we did it in the 00:07:55.680 --> 00:07:57.860 spring. And there's all these young couples, 00:07:57.959 --> 00:08:00.540 50, 40 young couples, and all kind of backgrounds, 00:08:00.899 --> 00:08:03.220 some brand new Christians, some from Christian 00:08:03.220 --> 00:08:06.120 homes. And I got to sit down around the table. 00:08:06.160 --> 00:08:07.939 We would teach and have time around the table. 00:08:08.060 --> 00:08:11.319 And I would hear what's really going on. And 00:08:11.319 --> 00:08:13.740 some had brand new little babies, others some 00:08:13.740 --> 00:08:17.000 older kids. Some had been married before. And 00:08:17.000 --> 00:08:19.959 so we went through and I taught. And we got near 00:08:19.959 --> 00:08:22.360 the end. And the way the book was divided was 00:08:22.360 --> 00:08:24.740 some of the chapters were very, very short. And 00:08:24.740 --> 00:08:27.019 we were trying to do a chapter each week. And 00:08:27.019 --> 00:08:29.720 it just felt a bit redundant. And so I remember 00:08:29.720 --> 00:08:32.500 saying, The thing that has helped me the most 00:08:32.500 --> 00:08:35.460 and helped Teresa the most to break strongholds 00:08:35.460 --> 00:08:38.220 and cycles in our lives because we came from 00:08:38.220 --> 00:08:40.659 alcoholic homes and we had big struggles in our 00:08:40.659 --> 00:08:43.720 marriages, we developed these truth cards. And 00:08:43.720 --> 00:08:45.460 on one side of the cards, we would write the 00:08:45.460 --> 00:08:48.000 lies that we believed and we would learn that 00:08:48.000 --> 00:08:50.100 lots of other people believed. And then we put 00:08:50.100 --> 00:08:52.559 a stop sign, then we would flip it over, and 00:08:52.559 --> 00:08:54.860 then we would tell the truth. I remember at one 00:08:54.860 --> 00:08:57.139 point in time, we would sit down on the couch 00:08:57.139 --> 00:09:00.220 every morning for a couple years and review these 00:09:00.220 --> 00:09:03.220 cards and renew our minds. And little by little 00:09:03.220 --> 00:09:06.399 by little, we got God's view. We were learning 00:09:06.399 --> 00:09:09.559 to recognize lies. And so I took those truth 00:09:09.559 --> 00:09:12.840 cards. I made them available to the class. The 00:09:12.840 --> 00:09:16.220 atmosphere changed overnight. They were open 00:09:16.220 --> 00:09:20.039 before, but when I would read a lie, it was like. 00:09:20.409 --> 00:09:22.970 Oh, my. And then I would give them the truth, 00:09:23.129 --> 00:09:25.029 and then I gave them a passage to hang on to. 00:09:25.490 --> 00:09:28.090 And so here's what this whole series is about. 00:09:28.549 --> 00:09:30.809 If you're the kind of person that you would say 00:09:30.809 --> 00:09:34.169 in your heart of hearts, I really want a great 00:09:34.169 --> 00:09:36.750 family, you're going to have to fight for it. 00:09:37.009 --> 00:09:38.769 You're going to have to fight like never before. 00:09:39.210 --> 00:09:42.370 I shared those stories at the beginning because 00:09:42.370 --> 00:09:45.470 those people are in God's Word every day, in 00:09:45.470 --> 00:09:48.629 community, on mission, living for Christ, and 00:09:48.629 --> 00:09:51.580 yet, In the midst of all of that, they're having 00:09:51.580 --> 00:09:54.840 issues in their family. They never dreamed would 00:09:54.840 --> 00:09:57.480 be a part of their world and their situation. 00:09:57.940 --> 00:10:01.480 You can be a good Christian, go to church two 00:10:01.480 --> 00:10:04.019 or three times a month, read the Bible some, 00:10:04.159 --> 00:10:07.440 be that nice person, encouraging person, a good, 00:10:07.480 --> 00:10:11.879 nice neighbor. But if you don't identify these 00:10:11.879 --> 00:10:15.820 lies and understand where they come from and 00:10:15.820 --> 00:10:20.179 what they do, your family will be destroyed because 00:10:20.179 --> 00:10:25.120 I'm watching it happen over and over again. These 00:10:25.120 --> 00:10:28.820 lies and false promises make it impossible for 00:10:28.820 --> 00:10:31.740 a person called to singleness to have a rich 00:10:31.740 --> 00:10:34.659 life knowing they're called by God to live in 00:10:34.659 --> 00:10:38.080 union with them or to have a deep, rich marriage 00:10:38.080 --> 00:10:40.620 with ups and downs, but with real connection, 00:10:40.879 --> 00:10:44.200 real community, real love, and real sacrifice. 00:10:45.200 --> 00:10:48.139 And these lies make it impossible for children 00:10:48.139 --> 00:10:51.440 to grow up in a safe, stable, supportive environment 00:10:51.440 --> 00:10:55.120 where they feel valued, encouraged, supported, 00:10:55.440 --> 00:10:58.500 where they discover their unique design. And 00:10:58.500 --> 00:11:00.759 even more importantly, discover the God who made 00:11:00.759 --> 00:11:03.679 them and come to a vibrant, living relationship 00:11:03.679 --> 00:11:07.360 with Jesus Christ. These lies are all through 00:11:07.360 --> 00:11:10.830 the media. academia. They come from novels. They 00:11:10.830 --> 00:11:13.389 come from music. They come from movies. They 00:11:13.389 --> 00:11:16.789 are bombarding us, even coming inside the church. 00:11:17.289 --> 00:11:20.029 Good lies like your kids need a great education. 00:11:20.350 --> 00:11:22.889 Your kids should be active in play sport. Your 00:11:22.889 --> 00:11:25.590 kids should really be successful because that 00:11:25.590 --> 00:11:28.230 will help them be happy. There's half -truths 00:11:28.230 --> 00:11:31.350 in all those things. But we have kids and we 00:11:31.350 --> 00:11:34.070 have parents and we have families that love Jesus 00:11:34.070 --> 00:11:36.330 with all their heart that have made education 00:11:36.970 --> 00:11:41.610 or playing on a sports team, or success, or money, 00:11:41.750 --> 00:11:46.289 or pleasure, a higher goal and an idol that has 00:11:46.289 --> 00:11:49.490 undermined the real relationship. We have to 00:11:49.490 --> 00:11:52.750 come to grips with the reality if 30 % of our 00:11:52.750 --> 00:11:55.889 own children in evangelical churches don't want 00:11:55.889 --> 00:11:59.070 to follow Jesus, something is fundamentally wrong. 00:12:00.450 --> 00:12:03.009 This is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, 00:12:03.070 --> 00:12:05.309 and Chip will be back to finish today's message 00:12:05.309 --> 00:12:08.049 in just a minute. But let me first gently ask 00:12:08.049 --> 00:12:11.009 you, is your marriage in trouble right now? Do 00:12:11.009 --> 00:12:13.350 you and your mate need a practical biblical tool 00:12:13.350 --> 00:12:16.769 to revive and transform your relationship? Well, 00:12:16.809 --> 00:12:19.250 we've developed a brand new resource designed 00:12:19.250 --> 00:12:22.169 to do just that. So stick around after the teaching 00:12:22.169 --> 00:12:24.970 to hear about this practical way we are encouraging 00:12:24.970 --> 00:12:27.990 couples. Until then, here again is Chip to continue 00:12:27.990 --> 00:12:31.840 our series, Uninvited Guests. I don't mean this 00:12:31.840 --> 00:12:34.139 as some indictment on those of you that are walking 00:12:34.139 --> 00:12:36.840 closely with God, but kids are saying, I grew 00:12:36.840 --> 00:12:39.379 up in a home where Christianity was not much 00:12:39.379 --> 00:12:42.200 more than a moral code. It wasn't much more than 00:12:42.200 --> 00:12:44.600 we should be nice people. And yes, my parents 00:12:44.600 --> 00:12:46.340 sent me to the youth group and I even went to 00:12:46.340 --> 00:12:48.639 a Christian school, but there wasn't life. There 00:12:48.639 --> 00:12:51.000 wasn't vitality. There wasn't risk. There wasn't 00:12:51.000 --> 00:12:54.179 life change. I didn't see God's power. I didn't 00:12:54.179 --> 00:12:57.039 see this reality of Jesus. And when I went away 00:12:57.039 --> 00:12:59.539 to school or to trade school or got out on my 00:12:59.539 --> 00:13:03.750 own, That Jesus that is sort of nice and this 00:13:03.750 --> 00:13:07.149 moral code, as people are living completely different 00:13:07.149 --> 00:13:10.029 lives, and they ask me all kind of questions 00:13:10.029 --> 00:13:12.750 that I would begin to ask myself, is this true? 00:13:12.909 --> 00:13:16.649 And my experience began to say, it's not. You 00:13:16.649 --> 00:13:19.809 see, there are lies that have undermined our 00:13:19.809 --> 00:13:23.259 culture. our families. What I would like to do 00:13:23.259 --> 00:13:25.840 in our time together is rather than give you 00:13:25.840 --> 00:13:28.159 a good teaching on marriage, rather than say, 00:13:28.220 --> 00:13:30.500 here's seven principles for parenting, here's 00:13:30.500 --> 00:13:33.259 some great things you can have, I'd like to start 00:13:33.259 --> 00:13:37.120 with the lies and help you identify them and 00:13:37.120 --> 00:13:39.039 then talk about the truth and how to put that 00:13:39.039 --> 00:13:41.440 truth into practice. And here's what I want you 00:13:41.440 --> 00:13:44.230 to know. This isn't new, right? This isn't new 00:13:44.230 --> 00:13:47.090 at all. And God is able and ready to break the 00:13:47.090 --> 00:13:50.389 strongholds that produce division, divorce, and 00:13:50.389 --> 00:13:53.230 kids without hope. You know, when you pastor 00:13:53.230 --> 00:13:56.090 as long as I have, I've been on the other side 00:13:56.090 --> 00:13:59.009 of that counseling desk and heard story after 00:13:59.009 --> 00:14:04.750 story. Stories of infidelity. Stories of I just 00:14:04.750 --> 00:14:08.149 fell out of love. Stories like we grew apart. 00:14:08.970 --> 00:14:11.190 Stories like, we did the very best for our kids 00:14:11.190 --> 00:14:13.730 and I don't understand it. They don't even believe 00:14:13.730 --> 00:14:16.029 in God anymore. We can't even have a conversation. 00:14:16.309 --> 00:14:19.490 All we do is argue about politics. I've been 00:14:19.490 --> 00:14:21.710 on the other side of that and I'm watching what 00:14:21.710 --> 00:14:25.129 it does to families. We need a different approach. 00:14:25.690 --> 00:14:28.309 We need to understand that there is something 00:14:28.309 --> 00:14:32.259 very, very sacred to God. And it's the most fundamental 00:14:32.259 --> 00:14:35.720 unit of every society, every culture, every community. 00:14:35.879 --> 00:14:38.600 As someone wisely said, as the family goes, so 00:14:38.600 --> 00:14:41.899 goes the nation. Transformation in the families 00:14:41.899 --> 00:14:45.360 today need to start, I think, with a surgical 00:14:45.360 --> 00:14:49.320 knife of truth that cut through the lies of the 00:14:49.320 --> 00:14:52.240 culture. Help us identify some of these things 00:14:52.240 --> 00:14:55.419 that some of us, are you ready? You are actually 00:14:55.419 --> 00:14:58.220 doing things with the most sincere intentions, 00:14:58.500 --> 00:15:01.519 thinking you are really helping your kids. You 00:15:01.519 --> 00:15:04.120 want your kids to get ahead. You want your kids 00:15:04.120 --> 00:15:07.080 to prosper. And the very thing that you're doing 00:15:07.080 --> 00:15:09.919 for your kids is destroying their relationship 00:15:09.919 --> 00:15:14.580 with God and their family. Let that sink in. 00:15:15.340 --> 00:15:17.659 See, the most dangerous lies are the ones that 00:15:17.659 --> 00:15:19.399 you believe to the point where you think it's 00:15:19.399 --> 00:15:22.970 good. Just because I have good intentions, just 00:15:22.970 --> 00:15:25.149 because I have good motives, it doesn't mean 00:15:25.149 --> 00:15:28.570 that the outcomes won't be just as devastating. 00:15:28.909 --> 00:15:31.509 I want to help you to uncover the things that 00:15:31.509 --> 00:15:35.830 you actually believe that are false, that are 00:15:35.830 --> 00:15:39.429 undermining that which you hold dear. And by 00:15:39.429 --> 00:15:42.389 the way, I'm with you in this. I've believed 00:15:42.389 --> 00:15:45.889 plenty of lies. I've pushed in early years my 00:15:45.889 --> 00:15:48.610 kids way too hard thinking that They've got to 00:15:48.610 --> 00:15:50.470 be disciplined to be successful and they need 00:15:50.470 --> 00:15:53.269 to learn this and learn that. So this isn't about 00:15:53.269 --> 00:15:55.269 I've got it together and I want to tell you this 00:15:55.269 --> 00:15:57.570 is how to do it. You're talking to someone that's 00:15:57.570 --> 00:16:00.870 got 40 years as a pastor and kids that are grown 00:16:00.870 --> 00:16:04.110 and some grandkids that are grown and is on the 00:16:04.110 --> 00:16:07.169 journey with you. Our families are in trouble. 00:16:07.250 --> 00:16:10.190 When some of my closest, most godly friends are 00:16:10.190 --> 00:16:13.230 having struggles and seeing things happen in 00:16:13.230 --> 00:16:16.429 their family, I think it's time to stop and say, 00:16:16.690 --> 00:16:22.389 God, I really want to have a great family. And 00:16:22.389 --> 00:16:25.309 I'm willing to pay the price. I'm willing to 00:16:25.309 --> 00:16:27.529 listen. I'm willing to learn. I'm willing to 00:16:27.529 --> 00:16:30.110 swim upstream. I'm willing to do whatever God 00:16:30.110 --> 00:16:33.110 wants me to do because here's the deal. I'm old 00:16:33.110 --> 00:16:36.129 enough now to realize the people that are happiest, 00:16:36.210 --> 00:16:39.809 the people who have a real sense of reward, it's 00:16:39.809 --> 00:16:42.490 not how big a house they had, not whether they 00:16:42.490 --> 00:16:45.509 went public, not whether they got famous. Every 00:16:45.509 --> 00:16:48.169 family relationship flows out of your relationship 00:16:48.169 --> 00:16:51.909 with God. It's the people that have deep, deep 00:16:51.909 --> 00:16:55.070 relationships, that have adult kids that want 00:16:55.070 --> 00:16:58.370 to be around them, that see a lineage of people 00:16:58.370 --> 00:17:01.389 that are walking and growing and people of integrity, 00:17:01.570 --> 00:17:05.170 and they're at peace with themselves. Every family 00:17:05.170 --> 00:17:08.490 has issues. I mean, pull back the curtain to 00:17:08.490 --> 00:17:12.029 my life, your life, anyone that... maybe a spiritual 00:17:12.029 --> 00:17:15.089 leader, a pastor, someone you admire, you pull 00:17:15.089 --> 00:17:16.890 back the curtain. I'm just going to tell you, 00:17:16.930 --> 00:17:19.470 they've got issues just like you and just like 00:17:19.470 --> 00:17:23.009 me. I'm not talking about developing some cookie 00:17:23.009 --> 00:17:25.710 cutter, perfect families. We're talking about 00:17:25.710 --> 00:17:29.700 real, authentic love. where it covers a multitude 00:17:29.700 --> 00:17:32.500 of sins, where we look back on our pain and how 00:17:32.500 --> 00:17:34.960 we persevere and how we recognize what we have 00:17:34.960 --> 00:17:37.619 done wrong, apologize to one another, forgive 00:17:37.619 --> 00:17:40.660 one another, and experience the mercy and the 00:17:40.660 --> 00:17:43.579 grace and the love of God. I'm not sure there's 00:17:43.579 --> 00:17:46.440 anything that is a greater testimony to the world, 00:17:46.500 --> 00:17:49.240 right? Jesus said, let your light so shine before 00:17:49.240 --> 00:17:52.200 men that they may see your good works and glorify 00:17:52.200 --> 00:17:54.799 your Father who is in heaven. I think the greatest 00:17:54.799 --> 00:17:56.859 good works we could ever have in the world that 00:17:56.859 --> 00:17:59.269 we're living in. is people that have been married 00:17:59.269 --> 00:18:02.250 five years and they're deeply in love. 25 years 00:18:02.250 --> 00:18:05.299 deeply in love. 45 years and deeply in love. 00:18:05.559 --> 00:18:08.819 17 years, lost a child, weathered through it, 00:18:08.859 --> 00:18:12.380 deeply in love. 22 years, empty nest, and they 00:18:12.380 --> 00:18:14.599 realize they need to reconnect and they persevere 00:18:14.599 --> 00:18:17.200 and they're deeply in love. Kids that grow up 00:18:17.200 --> 00:18:19.119 and don't have it all together but honor their 00:18:19.119 --> 00:18:22.299 parents, want to walk with God, have a sense 00:18:22.299 --> 00:18:25.079 of responsibility and clear calling, purpose 00:18:25.079 --> 00:18:27.759 in life and meaning. You talk about good works. 00:18:28.279 --> 00:18:31.220 Few things will be more important to show the 00:18:31.220 --> 00:18:33.960 world the love of Christ. than marriages that 00:18:33.960 --> 00:18:38.099 reflect Jesus and his church. This is not new. 00:18:38.279 --> 00:18:40.740 Some of you know the Bible pretty well, and others 00:18:40.740 --> 00:18:43.660 you'll need to go to Genesis chapter 3 and maybe 00:18:43.660 --> 00:18:45.539 the first few chapters you may want to read it. 00:18:45.779 --> 00:18:48.819 But think about a perfect environment, a loving 00:18:48.819 --> 00:18:51.880 God who's created the first human beings. The 00:18:51.880 --> 00:18:55.019 one test is don't eat from that tree. And then 00:18:55.019 --> 00:18:57.259 the enemy comes, and where does he start? With 00:18:57.259 --> 00:19:01.420 a lie. The lie is what? If you eat this, you 00:19:01.420 --> 00:19:04.329 won't die. Well, it had half -truth. You won't 00:19:04.329 --> 00:19:06.490 physically die, but you'll be separated from 00:19:06.490 --> 00:19:09.950 God. He cast doubt on God's character. God doesn't 00:19:09.950 --> 00:19:12.450 have your best in mind. If you do life God's 00:19:12.450 --> 00:19:14.329 way, you're going to miss out. That was the message. 00:19:14.910 --> 00:19:17.569 And so there's disobedience. And then after the 00:19:17.569 --> 00:19:19.609 disobedience, not only is there a break of relationship 00:19:19.609 --> 00:19:21.910 with God, then we have our very first parents 00:19:21.910 --> 00:19:24.990 blaming and naming. It was her fault. No, it 00:19:24.990 --> 00:19:27.630 was his fault. No, it's your fault, God. You're 00:19:27.630 --> 00:19:29.539 the one that made this place. And then pretty 00:19:29.539 --> 00:19:31.759 soon there's not just division, but then there's 00:19:31.759 --> 00:19:35.420 hostility and there's envy. And so we have the 00:19:35.420 --> 00:19:39.039 first murder. Satan lies about a relationship 00:19:39.039 --> 00:19:42.400 with God, produces animosity in the relationship, 00:19:42.619 --> 00:19:45.519 then has siblings who literally one kills the 00:19:45.519 --> 00:19:48.359 other, and then creates a world of violence and 00:19:48.359 --> 00:19:51.740 death. So much so that by Genesis chapter 9, 00:19:51.859 --> 00:19:54.259 God says, the violence is so great, I've had 00:19:54.259 --> 00:19:57.779 enough, and we have the flood. And then we have 00:19:57.779 --> 00:20:00.980 this new generation and God's promise in the 00:20:00.980 --> 00:20:04.619 sky. And then this tower gets built and the enemy 00:20:04.619 --> 00:20:08.279 takes technology and the amazing dignity and 00:20:08.279 --> 00:20:10.900 beauty of mankind. And they build a tower to 00:20:10.900 --> 00:20:13.839 make our name great into the heavens. And God 00:20:13.839 --> 00:20:16.599 frustrates their languages. Here's all I want 00:20:16.599 --> 00:20:20.309 you to know. The enemy had a lie about. God. 00:20:20.369 --> 00:20:23.390 He had a lie about marriage. He gave a lie about 00:20:23.390 --> 00:20:26.150 children. He gave a lie about what makes communities 00:20:26.150 --> 00:20:28.890 work. And he gave a lie about the work of our 00:20:28.890 --> 00:20:31.930 hands in technology. And it's been going on ever 00:20:31.930 --> 00:20:36.549 since. We're going to spend the next month identifying 00:20:36.549 --> 00:20:40.349 some lies in our marriages, in our parenting, 00:20:40.549 --> 00:20:44.230 and in the culture around us to live in the power 00:20:44.230 --> 00:20:46.670 of the Holy Spirit that we can have the kind 00:20:46.670 --> 00:20:49.759 of families that we long for. and that Jesus 00:20:49.759 --> 00:20:53.599 wants us to have for his glory and to show the 00:20:53.599 --> 00:20:56.619 world around us that there is hope because they 00:20:56.619 --> 00:21:00.859 are hurting. And he's the answer. He says, you're 00:21:00.859 --> 00:21:04.720 my method. Are you ready? I hope you join me 00:21:04.720 --> 00:21:10.680 for the whole series. This is Living on the Edge 00:21:10.680 --> 00:21:12.960 with Chip Ingram, and you've been listening to 00:21:12.960 --> 00:21:15.299 Chip's message, The Fight for a Godly Family, 00:21:15.440 --> 00:21:18.400 from our series, Uninvited Guests, recognizing 00:21:18.400 --> 00:21:21.880 and resisting the attacks on your family. Picture 00:21:21.880 --> 00:21:24.519 this. You're at a lively party or a delightful 00:21:24.519 --> 00:21:27.779 family reunion when out of nowhere an uninvited 00:21:27.779 --> 00:21:30.779 person barges in, creating chaos and dysfunction, 00:21:31.180 --> 00:21:34.519 spoiling the celebration for everyone. In the 00:21:34.519 --> 00:21:36.940 upcoming programs, Chip reveals how we've allowed 00:21:36.940 --> 00:21:40.380 dangerous misbeliefs and ideologies to trespass 00:21:40.380 --> 00:21:43.420 into our homes. Learn how, since the Garden of 00:21:43.420 --> 00:21:46.240 Eden, these intruders have fueled conflict in 00:21:46.240 --> 00:21:49.440 marriages, damaged relationships, and undermined 00:21:49.440 --> 00:21:52.319 the very foundation of the family. Join Chip 00:21:52.319 --> 00:21:55.180 as he exposes the biggest lies couples have believed 00:21:55.180 --> 00:21:57.960 and challenges us to renew our minds with the 00:21:57.960 --> 00:22:01.099 life -giving truth of God's Word. You won't want 00:22:01.099 --> 00:22:03.839 to miss a single message. Well, Chip's here in 00:22:03.839 --> 00:22:06.559 studio with me now. And Chip, as you sifted through 00:22:06.559 --> 00:22:08.960 all the research about marriage and parenting 00:22:08.960 --> 00:22:11.740 for this series, there was one myth that came 00:22:11.740 --> 00:22:14.579 up a lot. With all of this conflict in our marriage, 00:22:14.680 --> 00:22:17.400 it's better for our kids if we just get divorced. 00:22:17.940 --> 00:22:21.500 Dave, that is one of the most believed myths 00:22:21.500 --> 00:22:24.779 about marriage. That old school thinking of we're 00:22:24.779 --> 00:22:27.980 staying together just for the kids is actually 00:22:27.980 --> 00:22:31.589 true. If there's challenges, struggle, argument, 00:22:31.869 --> 00:22:34.990 kids will make it through. They're very resilient. 00:22:35.309 --> 00:22:38.029 Now, here's the problem. People don't want to 00:22:38.029 --> 00:22:40.789 stay together. When it gets really hard, how 00:22:40.789 --> 00:22:43.190 do you resolve conflict? How do you learn to 00:22:43.190 --> 00:22:46.430 communicate? There are so many good Christians 00:22:46.430 --> 00:22:49.750 who are living like roommates now. Their marriage 00:22:49.750 --> 00:22:52.430 isn't fulfilling. They want to stay together 00:22:52.430 --> 00:22:55.450 for their kids, but they can't imagine living 00:22:55.450 --> 00:22:58.230 the way they are forever and ever and ever, and 00:22:58.230 --> 00:23:00.569 so they feel hopeless. Here's what I want to 00:23:00.569 --> 00:23:04.029 say. You can work this out, and we have a tool 00:23:04.029 --> 00:23:07.150 to help you. Marriage That Works Truth Cards 00:23:07.150 --> 00:23:11.019 is a beginning step. to resolve some big pains 00:23:11.019 --> 00:23:14.000 in your marriage and create an environment that 00:23:14.000 --> 00:23:17.400 your kids can thrive in. We really want to help 00:23:17.400 --> 00:23:19.880 you learn to communicate, to resolve conflict. 00:23:19.980 --> 00:23:23.059 That begins with eliminating or addressing lies 00:23:23.059 --> 00:23:25.380 that you believe. And then you have to have some 00:23:25.380 --> 00:23:28.180 foundational truths. And if you'll review a few 00:23:28.180 --> 00:23:31.660 of these every single day for 30 days, 60 days, 00:23:31.859 --> 00:23:34.460 your thinking will change, your words will change, 00:23:34.539 --> 00:23:38.509 and your marriage will change. Throw away a good 00:23:38.509 --> 00:23:41.549 marriage or even a problem marriage because of 00:23:41.549 --> 00:23:44.289 your present struggles. If you think that there's 00:23:44.289 --> 00:23:47.210 an easy divorce and it doesn't impact your kids, 00:23:47.410 --> 00:23:50.829 you're completely wrong. The impact goes on for 00:23:50.829 --> 00:23:54.130 decades. Let's stay together. Let's obey God's 00:23:54.130 --> 00:23:56.650 commands, and we want to help you. So, Dave, 00:23:56.710 --> 00:23:58.509 take a minute and share with people how they 00:23:58.509 --> 00:24:01.009 can get these cards. Sure, Chip. It's actually 00:24:01.009 --> 00:24:03.500 really simple. Throughout this entire series, 00:24:03.640 --> 00:24:06.000 for anyone who chooses to become a monthly partner 00:24:06.000 --> 00:24:08.380 with Living on the Edge, we'll send you these 00:24:08.380 --> 00:24:11.400 new Marriage That Works Truth Cards as our way 00:24:11.400 --> 00:24:14.079 of saying thanks. So please pray about supporting 00:24:14.079 --> 00:24:17.099 us. Your gifts have an eternal impact as we fight 00:24:17.099 --> 00:24:20.000 for marriages and families everywhere. To learn 00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:22.920 how to become a monthly partner, visit livingontheedge 00:24:22.920 --> 00:24:29.140 .org or call us at 888 -333 -6003. That's 888 00:24:29.140 --> 00:24:35.819 -333 -6003 or go to livingontheedge .org. App 00:24:35.819 --> 00:24:38.460 listeners, tap donate. We'll join us next time 00:24:38.460 --> 00:24:41.119 as Chip continues his newest series, Uninvited 00:24:41.119 --> 00:24:44.079 Guests, recognizing and resisting the attacks 00:24:44.079 --> 00:24:47.259 on your family. Until then, I'm Dave Drury, thanking 00:24:47.259 --> 00:24:49.740 you for listening to this edition of Living on 00:24:49.740 --> 00:24:50.259 the Edge.