WEBVTT 00:00:01.279 --> 00:00:04.639 James 1 reminds us to consider it all joy when 00:00:04.639 --> 00:00:07.679 we endure trials. And we can all agree with that 00:00:07.679 --> 00:00:10.259 in theory, but what happens when the rug gets 00:00:10.259 --> 00:00:12.640 pulled out from under you? Not just a little 00:00:12.640 --> 00:00:15.119 stress at work or having a few arguments with 00:00:15.119 --> 00:00:18.039 your spouse. I'm talking about a fatal car crash, 00:00:18.320 --> 00:00:21.719 a sudden heart attack, a mass shooter, a natural 00:00:21.719 --> 00:00:24.239 disaster. What do you do when someone you love 00:00:24.239 --> 00:00:27.449 is here one minute and gone the next? I'm Dave 00:00:27.449 --> 00:00:29.870 Drury, and coming up on Living on the Edge, you'll 00:00:29.870 --> 00:00:32.490 hear a powerful testimony of a man who experienced 00:00:32.490 --> 00:00:35.929 an unbelievable tragedy, and yet he put his faith 00:00:35.929 --> 00:00:39.270 in God and persevered through it. Our Bible teacher, 00:00:39.409 --> 00:00:41.549 Chip Ingram, is with me now to give us a little 00:00:41.549 --> 00:00:44.670 bit more context for today's program. Thanks, 00:00:44.710 --> 00:00:48.549 Dave. Every now and then, I hear a testimony 00:00:48.549 --> 00:00:52.670 that so reveals God's power and God's love in 00:00:52.670 --> 00:00:55.810 the midst of tragedy and impossible situations. 00:00:56.359 --> 00:01:00.000 Shortly after COVID, there was a man who went 00:01:00.000 --> 00:01:02.740 through one of the most devastating experiences 00:01:02.740 --> 00:01:05.599 that I could have ever imagined. And there was 00:01:05.599 --> 00:01:07.299 a little resource that we were helping people 00:01:07.299 --> 00:01:09.959 with called The Art of Survival, and it ended 00:01:09.959 --> 00:01:13.879 up going all around the world. But how it intersected 00:01:13.879 --> 00:01:17.299 with this man and what happened from his life 00:01:17.299 --> 00:01:20.219 is something that people need to hear. And I 00:01:20.219 --> 00:01:22.819 don't want to take any more time, but if you 00:01:22.819 --> 00:01:26.159 today are thinking, I've been through some rough 00:01:26.159 --> 00:01:29.480 times, or I know someone going through a really 00:01:29.480 --> 00:01:32.819 hard time, or you even look at some of the tragedies 00:01:32.819 --> 00:01:35.299 and say, God, where are you and how do you come 00:01:35.299 --> 00:01:37.719 through? You don't want to miss what you're going 00:01:37.719 --> 00:01:40.439 to hear today. Great setup, Chip. And before 00:01:40.439 --> 00:01:42.599 we get going, while Guy's story is incredibly 00:01:42.599 --> 00:01:45.900 moving, it's only intended for mature audiences. 00:01:46.340 --> 00:01:48.620 So if you have younger kids listening with you, 00:01:48.680 --> 00:01:51.859 parental discretion is advised. Okay, here now 00:01:51.859 --> 00:01:54.819 is Guy's testimony we're calling From Tragedy 00:01:54.819 --> 00:02:05.019 to Victory. My name's Guy. I'm 54 years old. 00:02:05.769 --> 00:02:08.710 And I've been a Christian since a teenager. I 00:02:08.710 --> 00:02:11.050 was very blessed to have been brought up in a 00:02:11.050 --> 00:02:13.849 Christian household with two loving parents. 00:02:14.569 --> 00:02:18.370 I met Hazel when I was 15, so we really were 00:02:18.370 --> 00:02:21.750 childhood sweethearts. And we started dating 00:02:21.750 --> 00:02:24.389 for a number of years and got married at the 00:02:24.389 --> 00:02:29.150 age of 21. I have two boys and we moved to a 00:02:29.150 --> 00:02:31.949 little seaside town in the southwest of England 00:02:31.949 --> 00:02:35.280 called Dawlish. And the whole purpose of going 00:02:35.280 --> 00:02:38.139 there was to set up a ministry called Pastors 00:02:38.139 --> 00:02:41.960 Pad. And that was to provide soul care and respite 00:02:41.960 --> 00:02:44.900 for people in ministry. And we've been running 00:02:44.900 --> 00:02:50.780 that since 2011 and just seen so many incredible 00:02:50.780 --> 00:02:54.020 miracles happen through marriages saved, people 00:02:54.020 --> 00:02:57.159 set free from addiction, people being able to 00:02:57.159 --> 00:02:59.900 take churches in new directions that could really 00:02:59.900 --> 00:03:03.550 reach people for Jesus. And as well as doing 00:03:03.550 --> 00:03:07.210 pastor's pad, I'm also heavily involved in the 00:03:07.210 --> 00:03:09.449 local church. I've been in Christian leadership 00:03:09.449 --> 00:03:14.409 for pretty much most of my adult life. Let me 00:03:14.409 --> 00:03:17.370 tell you about Hazel, my wife, and our marriage. 00:03:17.590 --> 00:03:22.490 Hazel was just the kindest person that I think 00:03:22.490 --> 00:03:25.610 I'd ever met. People used to say that she would 00:03:25.610 --> 00:03:27.550 light up the room and that's what I used to love 00:03:27.550 --> 00:03:30.750 about her. She had such a heart for people. She 00:03:30.750 --> 00:03:34.810 cared so, so deeply. She had this saying that 00:03:34.810 --> 00:03:38.250 she always wanted to leave people better off 00:03:38.250 --> 00:03:41.229 than when she first met up with them. That was 00:03:41.229 --> 00:03:43.930 her thing. She never liked to leave a conversation 00:03:43.930 --> 00:03:47.349 or an interaction in a bad place. And really 00:03:47.349 --> 00:03:50.590 that whole heart is, I guess, why I fell in love 00:03:50.590 --> 00:03:54.229 with her. We have been... Not just married, but 00:03:54.229 --> 00:03:56.710 we've been best of friends. We've been soulmates. 00:03:56.750 --> 00:03:59.069 We've been buddies. We've travelled a lot. We've 00:03:59.069 --> 00:04:03.090 had so many blessed years. And like every marriage, 00:04:03.250 --> 00:04:07.110 it has its ups and downs. But having that commonality 00:04:07.110 --> 00:04:11.349 of being friends as well as mission partners 00:04:11.349 --> 00:04:14.469 and as well as lovers is such a powerful combination. 00:04:15.449 --> 00:04:18.629 My friends would describe her as just the warmest, 00:04:18.629 --> 00:04:21.800 kindest person that you'd meet. When she entered 00:04:21.800 --> 00:04:24.540 the room, you knew it, not from the noise she 00:04:24.540 --> 00:04:27.399 was making, but just how her smile just drew 00:04:27.399 --> 00:04:30.399 you in. She would always work the room. She would 00:04:30.399 --> 00:04:32.879 walk around trying to find people who perhaps 00:04:32.879 --> 00:04:35.560 weren't talking to somebody and she'd go along 00:04:35.560 --> 00:04:37.959 and just ask them who they were and what their 00:04:37.959 --> 00:04:40.959 story was. One of my favourite photographs of 00:04:40.959 --> 00:04:44.540 Hazel is when we went on holiday last year and 00:04:44.540 --> 00:04:46.899 it was over to Cornwall, which was her favourite 00:04:46.899 --> 00:04:50.600 place, and she sat in this huge... sitting chair 00:04:50.600 --> 00:04:53.899 all snuggled up with a lovely scarf on and that 00:04:53.899 --> 00:04:57.079 was her she just loved to feel snuggled and cuddled 00:04:57.079 --> 00:04:59.879 with a cup of tea or coffee in her hands and 00:04:59.879 --> 00:05:03.259 just talk to people she was really really personable 00:05:03.259 --> 00:05:07.240 we had so many years of blessing a lot of fun 00:05:07.240 --> 00:05:10.660 a lot of laughter but as every family you do 00:05:10.660 --> 00:05:13.980 have challenges I think the first The hardest 00:05:13.980 --> 00:05:16.579 challenge that we had was our youngest son nearly 00:05:16.579 --> 00:05:19.240 died when he was eight weeks old to an illness. 00:05:19.560 --> 00:05:22.360 So we know what it's like to sit by a hospital 00:05:22.360 --> 00:05:25.740 bed for a week to two weeks, wondering whether 00:05:25.740 --> 00:05:28.600 your child's going to make it through. That certainly 00:05:28.600 --> 00:05:32.060 has a very focused effect on your prayer life 00:05:32.060 --> 00:05:34.480 and certainly when you're in that environment 00:05:34.480 --> 00:05:37.220 and there are other sick children in beds nearby. 00:05:37.339 --> 00:05:41.470 So that was a very tough period. But the challenges 00:05:41.470 --> 00:05:44.310 really started when our eldest was going through 00:05:44.310 --> 00:05:48.149 perhaps his mid -teenage years and that was the 00:05:48.149 --> 00:05:49.930 point that we knew something was desperately 00:05:49.930 --> 00:05:55.069 wrong. He started to withdraw a lot. He was struggling 00:05:55.069 --> 00:06:00.170 with identity in various different ways and chose 00:06:00.170 --> 00:06:03.930 to cope with that through self -medication of 00:06:03.930 --> 00:06:07.370 drugs and alcohol. And this was one of the hardest 00:06:07.370 --> 00:06:10.319 periods for us because We just thought, what 00:06:10.319 --> 00:06:12.620 have we done as parents? Why is this happening? 00:06:13.019 --> 00:06:16.420 Why is our eldest not talking to us? Why is he 00:06:16.420 --> 00:06:20.540 not listening to the advice that he used to? 00:06:20.759 --> 00:06:23.079 And we realised something was deeply, deeply 00:06:23.079 --> 00:06:28.319 troubling him. And then, a few years later, when 00:06:28.319 --> 00:06:31.079 the problems with substance abuse got worse, 00:06:31.300 --> 00:06:34.480 it became very clear that there were underlying 00:06:34.480 --> 00:06:38.860 mental health issues. He was diagnosed with autism, 00:06:39.160 --> 00:06:42.800 in fact, two types of autism, Asperger's and 00:06:42.800 --> 00:06:47.420 BPD, which are really complex forms of autism. 00:06:47.540 --> 00:06:50.579 They fight against each other. And this really 00:06:50.579 --> 00:06:55.300 caused him a lot of distress. He got to the point 00:06:55.300 --> 00:06:58.379 where he was very, very paranoid about all sorts 00:06:58.379 --> 00:07:01.639 of things. And this paranoia then started to 00:07:01.639 --> 00:07:05.819 lead to psychosis. We probably, for the last 00:07:05.819 --> 00:07:10.800 five years, had extreme concerns about his well 00:07:10.800 --> 00:07:16.860 -being. He had five suicide attempts, multiple 00:07:16.860 --> 00:07:21.500 self -harm. A number of times he tripped into 00:07:21.500 --> 00:07:25.899 psychosis and became extremely threatening. And 00:07:25.899 --> 00:07:29.600 this was really, really concerning. We didn't 00:07:29.600 --> 00:07:32.420 really know what to do. We reached out many, 00:07:32.540 --> 00:07:35.699 many times for help and we didn't feel that that 00:07:35.699 --> 00:07:38.720 was coming through the normal channels. It was 00:07:38.720 --> 00:07:42.079 at that point that he got sectioned and was put 00:07:42.079 --> 00:07:47.740 in a secure hospital. He was then released. We 00:07:47.740 --> 00:07:49.800 were really concerned about the nature of that 00:07:49.800 --> 00:07:54.500 release. Anyway, he was put into temporary accommodation, 00:07:54.819 --> 00:08:00.540 which really was pretty horrendous. Hazel would 00:08:00.540 --> 00:08:06.060 visit him frequently to help with meals and cleaning 00:08:06.060 --> 00:08:10.220 and then we managed to find him a flat where 00:08:10.220 --> 00:08:13.379 at least he could be safe and have a space that 00:08:13.379 --> 00:08:18.939 he could feel was secure for himself. It was 00:08:18.939 --> 00:08:21.980 three weeks later and our youngest son graduated 00:08:21.980 --> 00:08:25.259 from university and we enjoyed, we celebrated 00:08:25.259 --> 00:08:29.199 that. And then as we were coming home from the 00:08:29.199 --> 00:08:31.819 graduation, we got a phone call from our eldest 00:08:31.819 --> 00:08:34.620 son saying that he really needed help cleaning 00:08:34.620 --> 00:08:39.000 the flat. So Hazel, being the person that she 00:08:39.000 --> 00:08:42.399 was, said that she would go and do that. I had 00:08:42.399 --> 00:08:44.679 some work to do for a big church meeting coming 00:08:44.679 --> 00:08:48.139 up and I dropped her off at the flat and went 00:08:48.139 --> 00:08:52.299 off to a cafe for a few hours. At pick -up time, 00:08:52.460 --> 00:08:57.919 I came to find her, to pick her up. and put in 00:08:57.919 --> 00:09:02.840 a phone call, but there was no answer. I got 00:09:02.840 --> 00:09:07.100 outside the flat, I knocked on the door, there 00:09:07.100 --> 00:09:11.639 was no answer. I knocked again, still nothing. 00:09:13.279 --> 00:09:16.620 At this point, I didn't necessarily think there 00:09:16.620 --> 00:09:19.519 was a problem, but I tried ringing Hazel's phone, 00:09:19.659 --> 00:09:23.299 I tried ringing my eldest son's phone, and there 00:09:23.299 --> 00:09:28.539 was nothing. I started to bang on the door, a 00:09:28.539 --> 00:09:31.840 lot louder, shouting up to be let in. And then 00:09:31.840 --> 00:09:34.980 I got a text from my eldest son saying to call 00:09:34.980 --> 00:09:41.320 the police. At this point, my mind was just all 00:09:41.320 --> 00:09:46.100 over the place. I shouted up for him to open 00:09:46.100 --> 00:09:50.379 the door, and he didn't. I then started to bang 00:09:50.379 --> 00:09:54.039 on the door very hard. He sent another text. 00:09:54.840 --> 00:10:01.120 saying, Dad, call the police. So I did. And then 00:10:01.120 --> 00:10:05.460 whilst I was on the phone to the police, explaining 00:10:05.460 --> 00:10:09.600 the history, he sent me a text saying he'd killed 00:10:09.600 --> 00:10:23.370 her. At that point, I totally lost it. I was 00:10:23.370 --> 00:10:26.110 kicking the door as hard as I could, screaming 00:10:26.110 --> 00:10:30.149 in the middle of the street to be let in. The 00:10:30.149 --> 00:10:33.309 police came. They took me in the police car to 00:10:33.309 --> 00:10:35.769 a police station and I was video interviewed 00:10:35.769 --> 00:10:40.809 for an hour and a half. And then after that, 00:10:40.990 --> 00:10:51.129 they told me that she was dead. I then rang. 00:10:52.080 --> 00:10:55.940 My family and my best friend came and picked 00:10:55.940 --> 00:11:01.000 me up. And I got driven back home. And then I 00:11:01.000 --> 00:11:04.299 had the horrendous task of having to tell Hazel's 00:11:04.299 --> 00:11:08.100 parents what had happened. That's the hardest 00:11:08.100 --> 00:11:14.940 thing I've ever had to do. I think as a father 00:11:14.940 --> 00:11:18.919 and as a husband, you have such competing thoughts 00:11:18.919 --> 00:11:22.470 going on. I mean, none of this is normal. I felt 00:11:22.470 --> 00:11:26.830 sick and numb. You go through denial, this can't 00:11:26.830 --> 00:11:31.649 be happening. You feel like, from a husband point 00:11:31.649 --> 00:11:34.029 of view, you've just got this huge hole just 00:11:34.029 --> 00:11:37.429 literally that's been ripped out of you. A sadness 00:11:37.429 --> 00:11:43.110 and pain like I'd never experienced. In terms 00:11:43.110 --> 00:11:47.710 of me being a father, how am I supposed to feel? 00:11:50.440 --> 00:11:53.519 The person who was my soulmate has been killed 00:11:53.519 --> 00:11:56.220 by the person I promised to unconditionally love. 00:11:57.639 --> 00:12:03.259 It's an absolute mind bend. Absolute mind bend. 00:12:07.019 --> 00:12:09.779 I think when people go through extreme trauma, 00:12:09.960 --> 00:12:14.000 they naturally rise up. They've got to get stuck 00:12:14.000 --> 00:12:18.500 in and get the job done. I went into that mode 00:12:18.500 --> 00:12:23.879 where I was... Funeral organiser to family counsellor 00:12:23.879 --> 00:12:30.080 to support for my youngest son. They've got all 00:12:30.080 --> 00:12:32.259 these things going on and what you're not doing 00:12:32.259 --> 00:12:34.039 is dealing with your own grief. You're kind of 00:12:34.039 --> 00:12:37.220 putting it off because you know you've got the 00:12:37.220 --> 00:12:39.259 most difficult few weeks coming up. You've just 00:12:39.259 --> 00:12:41.639 got to get through it. You've got to do the best 00:12:41.639 --> 00:12:44.299 that you can. You've got to do the best by Hazel. 00:12:46.759 --> 00:12:49.440 If I'm being really honest with it, in the early 00:12:49.440 --> 00:12:53.320 days, after all of that was done, I completely 00:12:53.320 --> 00:12:59.940 zoned out and withdrew. Some days I would literally 00:12:59.940 --> 00:13:04.059 curl up in a ball in front of the fire and just 00:13:04.059 --> 00:13:08.440 want to go to sleep and not wake up. I would 00:13:08.440 --> 00:13:10.559 wake up frequently in the night with panic attacks, 00:13:10.879 --> 00:13:15.460 just like you're suffocating. Just that sense 00:13:15.460 --> 00:13:20.740 of loss and grief is just so unimaginable. I 00:13:20.740 --> 00:13:24.059 had two bouts of PTSD, which were really terrifying. 00:13:24.539 --> 00:13:26.740 And it was at that point I knew I needed help. 00:13:27.740 --> 00:13:30.860 I think the hardest thing as a husband waking 00:13:30.860 --> 00:13:34.299 up and just seeing an empty side of the bed. 00:13:36.580 --> 00:13:41.799 Within the first week or so, there was no... 00:13:42.320 --> 00:13:44.419 doubt that the thing had happened because of 00:13:44.419 --> 00:13:47.980 the things I'd seen and experienced and just 00:13:47.980 --> 00:13:52.399 that level of trauma. But you wake up and that 00:13:52.399 --> 00:13:55.519 was the loneliest time, first thing, just to 00:13:55.519 --> 00:13:58.580 see an empty bed, see her photographed by the 00:13:58.580 --> 00:14:02.179 bed, just that sense of just complete loneliness 00:14:02.179 --> 00:14:08.659 and loss. For months I used to play worship tunes, 00:14:08.759 --> 00:14:13.710 just hours on end I'd have my air pods in and 00:14:13.710 --> 00:14:18.769 I'd use that to get to sleep and that would really 00:14:18.769 --> 00:14:22.129 really help me I listened to a lot of Brandon 00:14:22.129 --> 00:14:26.669 Lake Gratitude was the anthem song choosing to 00:14:26.669 --> 00:14:30.110 raise that hallelujah you know when you've literally 00:14:30.110 --> 00:14:32.970 got nothing nothing fit for a king all you can 00:14:32.970 --> 00:14:36.429 do is sing from your heart and just raise your 00:14:36.429 --> 00:14:40.320 hands raise that hallelujah and for me That was 00:14:40.320 --> 00:14:42.980 probably the biggest song on my playlist that 00:14:42.980 --> 00:14:45.919 was just going back and back and back because 00:14:45.919 --> 00:14:50.080 the only way I could deal with this was just 00:14:50.080 --> 00:14:52.679 to remember the good times that we'd had and 00:14:52.679 --> 00:14:55.059 that was the attitude that I chose to put on. 00:14:55.299 --> 00:14:59.899 One of thankfulness for who Hazel was and for 00:14:59.899 --> 00:15:01.879 the incredible times that we'd had with each 00:15:01.879 --> 00:15:07.679 other and just recognising that Jesus is there. 00:15:08.059 --> 00:15:11.600 he gets it he gets the pain and the best thing 00:15:11.600 --> 00:15:14.000 i could do was just literally lift that up to 00:15:14.000 --> 00:15:18.700 him every time and this fits in really with some 00:15:18.700 --> 00:15:21.080 of the art of survival stuff you know that was 00:15:21.080 --> 00:15:23.539 just an incredible tool for me quite a short 00:15:23.539 --> 00:15:27.399 book quite a thin book really accessible simple 00:15:27.399 --> 00:15:31.580 practical and as soon as i started reading it 00:15:31.580 --> 00:15:34.320 i knew i needed to really press into this book 00:15:34.320 --> 00:15:38.090 and sometimes I would read just a page. Sometimes 00:15:38.090 --> 00:15:40.450 I would just read a couple of lines and just 00:15:40.450 --> 00:15:43.669 sit in the wisdom that was there. And other times 00:15:43.669 --> 00:15:46.950 I'd read just a whole chapter. I typed up notes 00:15:46.950 --> 00:15:49.470 on my phone, so I had it all the time with me. 00:15:50.090 --> 00:15:54.070 And it was genuinely my field manual. At times 00:15:54.070 --> 00:15:57.210 when I needed to press into it a little more 00:15:57.210 --> 00:15:59.889 than a few minutes, like for an hour or so, it 00:15:59.889 --> 00:16:02.309 became my boot camp. I would run through some 00:16:02.309 --> 00:16:05.840 of the drills that are in that book. When we 00:16:05.840 --> 00:16:09.279 get into aspects of that, A, being about attitude, 00:16:09.419 --> 00:16:12.240 that was huge for me because every day getting 00:16:12.240 --> 00:16:15.039 up was a battle. And I thought to myself, I have 00:16:15.039 --> 00:16:17.940 a choice here. I can't change what's happened. 00:16:18.879 --> 00:16:21.860 But what I can do is I can choose the attitude 00:16:21.860 --> 00:16:24.799 that I go into this day with and that I end this 00:16:24.799 --> 00:16:27.840 day with. And that was just incredibly helpful 00:16:27.840 --> 00:16:32.100 for me. And the days when I had no words, then 00:16:32.100 --> 00:16:34.419 the attitude I chose was one of gratitude and 00:16:34.419 --> 00:16:39.360 thanks. When I really didn't feel like getting 00:16:39.360 --> 00:16:41.659 out of bed, the attitude that I chose was that 00:16:41.659 --> 00:16:44.179 I am going to get out of bed and I'm going to 00:16:44.179 --> 00:16:46.360 go for a walk and I'm going to enjoy the beautiful 00:16:46.360 --> 00:16:51.179 countryside that's here. There's this incredible 00:16:51.179 --> 00:16:55.759 but simple expression from Chip about saying 00:16:55.759 --> 00:16:57.879 that there are victims and there are survivors 00:16:57.879 --> 00:17:02.960 and the victims ask the why questions. I knew. 00:17:03.519 --> 00:17:08.140 I had no possible positive outcome about asking 00:17:08.140 --> 00:17:12.480 a why question about what had happened. It didn't 00:17:12.480 --> 00:17:15.319 help to go into the land of should have, could 00:17:15.319 --> 00:17:19.420 have, would have, because there aren't answers. 00:17:21.220 --> 00:17:25.400 And so focusing on these what questions, literally 00:17:25.400 --> 00:17:29.440 saying, number one, what is in my control right 00:17:29.440 --> 00:17:32.240 now? I might feel like there's a lot spiralling 00:17:32.240 --> 00:17:36.720 out of control, but right now, what is in my 00:17:36.720 --> 00:17:41.819 control? Number two, what have I got to do to 00:17:41.819 --> 00:17:45.740 get through the next day? And sometimes that 00:17:45.740 --> 00:17:48.579 was broken down to the next hour, and sometimes 00:17:48.579 --> 00:17:51.920 that was broken down to the next minute. It was 00:17:51.920 --> 00:17:56.420 literally that. And the third question, really 00:17:56.420 --> 00:17:59.140 important, was what hope do you have for the 00:17:59.140 --> 00:18:03.240 future? And I knew that whilst I couldn't understand 00:18:03.240 --> 00:18:06.799 why this had happened to me and my family, was 00:18:06.799 --> 00:18:10.559 that through my faith, I know God's got this. 00:18:10.819 --> 00:18:13.160 I know that there's a future, that there's a 00:18:13.160 --> 00:18:15.779 purpose that sits out there. I can't explain 00:18:15.779 --> 00:18:18.519 it now, but I know it's definitely out there. 00:18:19.339 --> 00:18:22.240 We know from James chapter 1 that when you go 00:18:22.240 --> 00:18:25.039 through hardships, if you persevere, that endurance 00:18:25.039 --> 00:18:29.240 leads to maturity. It seems like such a contradiction 00:18:29.240 --> 00:18:31.839 that you can see joy through such hardships. 00:18:32.859 --> 00:18:35.180 But as what I've learned and from this teaching 00:18:35.180 --> 00:18:39.759 is the joy is the outcome. It's an outworking. 00:18:40.400 --> 00:18:44.180 And it says in verse 12 that you get the crown 00:18:44.180 --> 00:18:46.519 of life. So we're looking at the end goal. So 00:18:46.519 --> 00:18:50.900 my joy is in that crown of life that when I go 00:18:50.900 --> 00:18:54.180 to meet God in heaven, he can say, well done. 00:18:54.779 --> 00:18:57.460 good and faithful servant I have run that race 00:18:57.460 --> 00:19:00.700 I have got through that it was incredibly hard 00:19:00.700 --> 00:19:05.000 but I did endure my faith lasted out and here 00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:08.799 I am for me that joy is knowing the fact that 00:19:08.799 --> 00:19:11.319 I am a child of God and that I am going to be 00:19:11.319 --> 00:19:13.859 back with Hazel at some point and I'm going to 00:19:13.859 --> 00:19:17.579 spend eternity with her and with Jesus so keeping 00:19:17.579 --> 00:19:21.359 my eye on the third what question is absolutely 00:19:21.359 --> 00:19:25.029 critical and this is One thing as Christians 00:19:25.029 --> 00:19:28.170 was so easily going to church, singing these 00:19:28.170 --> 00:19:31.009 songs about mountaintop experiences, about valley 00:19:31.009 --> 00:19:34.049 experiences, about putting it all on the altar, 00:19:34.210 --> 00:19:37.430 all of that stuff. But when it comes to it, how 00:19:37.430 --> 00:19:39.630 much is just words or stuff that goes in your 00:19:39.630 --> 00:19:45.930 head? I either trust God or I don't. I either 00:19:45.930 --> 00:19:49.049 trust that he loves me. I either trust that he's 00:19:49.049 --> 00:19:52.069 got a future for me and a purpose for me according 00:19:52.069 --> 00:19:56.309 to his purposes. because i love him or i don't 00:19:56.309 --> 00:20:05.569 god didn't cause this god didn't make this happen 00:20:05.569 --> 00:20:11.349 but it did happen for some mysterious way this 00:20:11.349 --> 00:20:16.109 happened i will never understand it but it is 00:20:16.109 --> 00:20:20.230 my desire my dream to be able to help others 00:20:20.230 --> 00:20:22.569 off the back of this experience to be able to 00:20:22.569 --> 00:20:27.549 minister to them, through their grief, and to 00:20:27.549 --> 00:20:32.509 be able to wing Kingdom Souls for Christ. I've 00:20:32.509 --> 00:20:34.549 had so many moments when I've been on my knees 00:20:34.549 --> 00:20:37.670 saying, Lord, how do I get through this situation? 00:20:38.289 --> 00:20:42.470 How do I plan and do a funeral? How do I ID my 00:20:42.470 --> 00:20:46.529 wife's body in the mortuary? How do I go into 00:20:46.529 --> 00:20:49.769 a courtroom where my eldest son is going to get 00:20:49.769 --> 00:20:52.130 sentenced, potentially off the back of my own 00:20:52.130 --> 00:20:56.390 testimony? How am I going to go into the flat 00:20:56.390 --> 00:20:59.730 where my wife was killed and gather up all the 00:20:59.730 --> 00:21:02.190 possessions? How am I going to deal with that? 00:21:02.630 --> 00:21:05.910 And so from the results point of view, asking 00:21:05.910 --> 00:21:09.690 for wisdom in those situations from the Lord 00:21:09.690 --> 00:21:12.789 is just so critical. And the thing about James 00:21:12.789 --> 00:21:18.069 chapter 1 is asking and then not doubting and 00:21:18.069 --> 00:21:21.450 being resolute about what you think God is asking 00:21:21.450 --> 00:21:23.920 you to do. and just getting on and doing it, 00:21:23.980 --> 00:21:27.480 not questioning him. We either trust our creator 00:21:27.480 --> 00:21:31.019 God, who made this incredible planet, but yet 00:21:31.019 --> 00:21:35.740 cares for us, or we don't. And keeping our eyes 00:21:35.740 --> 00:21:38.319 fixed upwards is sometimes the hardest thing 00:21:38.319 --> 00:21:42.039 to do, but the most essential. There's a really 00:21:42.039 --> 00:21:46.299 incredible sentence in one of the chapters in 00:21:46.299 --> 00:21:50.920 this book where Chip says, determined by the 00:21:50.920 --> 00:21:54.359 size of my problems or the certainty of God's 00:21:54.359 --> 00:22:00.880 promises. Wow. That's a real leveller in terms 00:22:00.880 --> 00:22:03.339 of helping you pray through these things and 00:22:03.339 --> 00:22:07.099 really helping to focus on God's goodness and 00:22:07.099 --> 00:22:13.380 God's kindness. God never wastes anything. He's 00:22:13.380 --> 00:22:16.220 going to use this in some mighty way. He already 00:22:16.220 --> 00:22:21.180 has been. So for me, seeing God's perspective 00:22:21.180 --> 00:22:24.859 on this, it's really, really helped me steer 00:22:24.859 --> 00:22:29.819 through. And another song that I listen to a 00:22:29.819 --> 00:22:33.579 lot, a Cody Kahn song, Christ be magnified from 00:22:33.579 --> 00:22:36.779 the altar of my life. And I feel as though my 00:22:36.779 --> 00:22:39.259 life has been put on an altar, the situations 00:22:39.259 --> 00:22:41.900 I've had to go through. But I know God's been 00:22:41.900 --> 00:22:44.740 there. I know he's been there right by my side 00:22:44.740 --> 00:22:47.740 all the way through this. So having that theology, 00:22:47.960 --> 00:22:52.299 that real belief in who God is and how much he 00:22:52.299 --> 00:22:56.400 cares and loves for me and for my sons. You know, 00:22:56.420 --> 00:23:04.019 God loves my son. I love my son. And if I can 00:23:04.019 --> 00:23:08.339 see that mercy and grace and kindness that God 00:23:08.339 --> 00:23:13.299 overlays on me, how much more have I got to do 00:23:13.299 --> 00:23:27.759 so? for my son in this circumstance. This is 00:23:27.759 --> 00:23:30.380 Chip Ingram, and wow, I don't know about you, 00:23:30.500 --> 00:23:34.740 but at the lowest, lowest moments, we either 00:23:34.740 --> 00:23:38.720 turn far away from God, or we turn to Him in 00:23:38.720 --> 00:23:41.599 the depth of our brokenness, and He shows up 00:23:41.599 --> 00:23:45.710 like never before. As he walked through that 00:23:45.710 --> 00:23:50.690 story, Guy's perspective, choose to consider 00:23:50.690 --> 00:23:53.589 it all joy. The Art of Survival, it's a tiny 00:23:53.589 --> 00:23:57.170 little book on James 1 that I think it's a message 00:23:57.170 --> 00:24:00.390 for our day in the midst of such pain. Whether 00:24:00.390 --> 00:24:03.730 it's a flood or whether it's fire or whether 00:24:03.730 --> 00:24:06.789 it's the loss of a mate, it's a lifeline of hope 00:24:06.789 --> 00:24:09.980 that God gave to the very first Christians. And 00:24:09.980 --> 00:24:12.359 in our next broadcast, Guy is going to talk about 00:24:12.359 --> 00:24:15.720 what happened next. You don't want to miss it. 00:24:16.240 --> 00:24:18.259 Thanks, Jim. And thank you all for listening. 00:24:18.619 --> 00:24:21.180 We pray Guy's powerful testimony has encouraged 00:24:21.180 --> 00:24:24.599 you and reminded you that even on our darkest 00:24:24.599 --> 00:24:27.759 day or when we experience unimaginable pain, 00:24:28.099 --> 00:24:31.480 God is with us and we can trust Him. Well, I 00:24:31.480 --> 00:24:33.420 hope you'll join us for the remainder of Guy's 00:24:33.420 --> 00:24:35.759 story coming up on the next edition of Living 00:24:35.759 --> 00:24:38.900 on the Edge. Until then, I'm Dave Drewy. Thanks 00:24:38.900 --> 00:24:39.339 for listening.