Are you tired of trying to find love? Or maybe
you're just trying to keep love alive in a relationship?
Could it be that you're missing the key ingredient
in your life? Today, we'll discover the secret
of finding, keeping, and giving love away like
never before. Stay with me. Welcome to this edition
of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Our mission
is to inspire Christians to be genuine followers
of Jesus. to empower them to be active disciple
makers in our world. Thanks for joining us as
we're continuing our series, Spiritual Simplicity,
Doing Less, Loving More. Today, Chip's going
to build on the questions he just posed by exploring
our desire for love and connection. And the truth
may surprise you. So grab your Bible and notes
as we join Chip with another inspiring song -themed
message, What the World Needs Now is Love, Sweet
Love. Do you realize that you were created, that
in your soul, in your heart, in your mind, even
in your physical body, you were designed and
created by God to be loved? And I want to tell
you, you have a receiver built into your heart
and built into your soul, built into your thinking,
actually built into the fibers of your... physical
body, and you are from the moment you come out
of the womb and you make eye contact with your
mother. There is something inside of you reaching
up and reaching out to get connected, and what
you need and what you were made for was to be
loved, to be affirmed, to be cared for, to be
held, to be valued, not for what you do, not
for what you accomplish, not for how you look,
but for just who you are. And that journey begins
with the first breath and it'll end at your last
breath. And that demand and that drive for love
never ends. But if you don't get it right and
if you end up spiritually and emotionally like
a lot of people spend their whole life just looking,
looking, looking, looking, looking for love.
And there's only one place to find it where you'll
be loved in that way. And that's what we're going
to talk about because that simplifies life. There's
a song that got very popular. If you came here
a little bit early, you heard it. And it's what
the world needs now is love, sweet love. And
we had to make it from one city to another, and
it was hard to stay awake. And so the little
rent car had XM. You know, you got like a zillion
stations. So like every 20 seconds, we changed
to a new station. And, you know, if it was a
little song we knew, then we'd sing along. But
I mean, we went through like 50 stations in two
and a half hours just to stay awake. And 49 of
the stations had songs that were about. Love.
Finding it, losing it, getting it, wanting it,
finding it, getting it, losing it, wanting it.
Love, love. I mean, we heard country love. We
heard hip hop love. We heard alternative love.
We heard easy listening love. We heard love,
love, love. Tell you what, what the world wants
is love. Now, if you will open your notes, I
want you to read along very carefully with me.
Because if we're designed and made for love and
we don't get it deeply, unconditionally, and
authentically, some really bad stuff happens.
And that bad stuff is why a lot of our lives
are very complicated. On the front of your notes,
it says, when we are not deeply and personally
loved in ways that make sense to us, we will
settle for any number of pseudo -love substitutes.
Pseudo meaning false. Substitutes, the idea is,
I want loved, you want loved, I've got that little
thing going inside of me going click, click,
click, click, click, click, looking, looking,
looking. And if you don't get it deeply, authentically,
unconditionally, in a way that makes sense to
you, you'll settle. For substitutes like affirmation
we receive from success. It feels a lot like
love. You're good at that. We appreciate that.
Wow, you scored a lot of points. You made a lot
of money. You're good. You're smart. Affirmation.
It's a cheap substitute for love. Doesn't mean
that we don't need affirmed, but it's not love.
Or things like adulation that you receive from
fame. Everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame
because you were on TV. You're a celebrity. You're
important. You matter. We've seen your face somewhere.
And there's this adulation. But it's not love.
It's people falling in love with an image. Or
like the temporary intimacy we experience from
illicit sex. When loneliness and pain and struggle
and the connections don't make it. Some people
log on to the internet. Some people have affairs.
Some people do all manner of things trying to
fill the hole. And there's this temporary sense
of connectedness, this temporary sense that I'm
loved and this feels good followed by lots of
really bad stuff through illicit sex of all kinds.
Or sometimes we look for love in the attention
that we receive from our appearance and our possessions.
I mean, think of the energy that goes in. The
multi, multi -billion dollar makeup business.
The multi, multi -billion dollar fitness business.
You know, what you possess, how you appear, you
get attention and it feels like love. But what
the attention is focused on is not who you really
are. It just happens to be on kind of what you
look like today or what you're driving or what
you wear. Or the temporary things like esteem
that comes from position. Oh, you're a somebody
now. You've got a corner office. You're a somebody.
You're the star on the team. You're a somebody.
You made the cheerleading squad. You're a somebody
because you have this position. Or finally, the
security that we perceive from wealth. And so
we get up early and we go late. We move and we
get complex, driven, complex lives because we
feel like if we get more money, we'll be secure.
And if we're secure, security feels a lot like
love. Look at the bottom of the page. This is
critical. This is why our lives get complex.
Our quest to be loved deeply and personally create
fast -paced, overextended, complex lives driven
to obtain success. fame, sex, looks, position,
power, and wealth in the desperate hope that
someday, someway, we'll be loved. But notice
the last little line. Just for who we are. Everything
in this list, when you get done, even if you
receive it, people aren't loving you for who
you are. They're loving you for the position
that you have or the appearance that you have
or the possessions that you have. And yet that
little search engine inside of you that wants
to connect, you and I and every single person
on this planet of all backgrounds, of all races,
of all cultures, want and need to be loved. So
if love is what the world needs, three questions
emerge. Where do you find it? How do you get
it? And how do you give it away? Where do you
find it? How do you get it? And how do you give
it away? Let's start with number one. Where do
you find it? The source of love that's unconditional,
that's focused on who you are, not what you accomplish,
is God. Listen to 1 John. It says, John says,
of the love that you need in your soul, the only
thing that'll ever fill you up is the love of
God. And he says, when you know him, when you
are loved by him, one of the evidences will be
that you will naturally overflow in love relationships
to others. And the most attractive people in
the world, the people that I want to be around
and you want to be around are what? Loving people.
No one wants to be around selfish jerks. We all
want to be loving people, but it's just hard.
And it raises the question, what would it look
like to be loved by God? I mean, that's so ethereal.
God loves you. I heard that all my life. I didn't
have a clue of what it meant. What would it look
like if you could understand and feel and see
and know that you are the object of God's affection?
I put it in your notes. Zephaniah 3 .17 is to
me one of the greatest pictures of getting a
grasp of God's love for us. It says, the Lord
your God is with you. Part of being loved is
someone that won't abandon you. It's someone
that hangs with you. And not only is he with
you, he is mighty to save. And you might write
in your notes above that word save, write the
word deliver. I mean, of course we know that
he saves, he forgives our sins, but especially
in the Old Testament, when you see the word save,
it has the idea of deliverance. When someone
loves you and you're in a jam, they show up and
they help you get out of the jam. I mean, that's
who I call when I'm in a jam. To be loved by
God, the Lord your God, it's his covenant name,
it's his personal name, Yahweh, is with you.
He is mighty to save. And then look at the next
line. He will take great delight in you. Underline
the word in you. It doesn't say he'll take great
delight in how you look. He'll take great light
in your position. He'll take great light in what
you can accomplish. He'll take great light in
your success. He'll take great delight in you.
The one that created the galaxies and the billions
and billions of stars, after he created everything,
he created man. And then he said the pinnacle,
the most important, the apex of all of his creation
is you. Not if you do something, not because
you've accomplished something, but you as you
are created by God, made in his image, he takes
delight in you. He'd like to spend time with
you. He'd like to bless you. He'd like to talk
with you. He'd like to develop you. That's what
love does. It always brings out the best in others.
So he's with you. He delivers you. He takes great
delight in you. Notice he will quiet you with
his love. If there's one thing I hear from people
all the time, Christian or non -Christian, in
a high stress, complicated world, is I wish I
had some peace. I wish I just had some peace
in this marriage. I wish I had some peace in
my heart. You know when you get peace? When you
can unload all the issues and all the concerns
and all the cares, and when you have that sort
of sense that no matter what's going on out there,
it's okay. For many of us, that happens in a
human relationship. There's times I get completely
overwhelmed and I write down all these different
things and I'm really struggling, but it's over
a cup of coffee sitting with Teresa Usley and
saying, honey, I know I'm not supposed to be
anxious and I know I'm not supposed to be this,
but I'm feeling all this. And you know what?
I've laid all this out in my journal with God,
but I need to sit down and we'll kind of talk
it through. And there's a quieting. Of that relationship.
And you know what? That's what God wants to do.
He wants to quiet your heart with his love. He
wants to tell you, you know what? Yeah, the economy
is kind of rough right now. And the marriage
has some struggles right now. And you've been
single a little bit longer than you like right
now. And you know, there's some physical ailments
that you wish would get better right now. But
you know something? I'd like God at all taken
care of. Like you're made to live forever. Would
you relax, will you? I mean, if God is for you,
who can be against you? If he's got unlimited
resources and you're the object of his affection,
you know, you can all. Most of our anxiety is
always focused on what might happen someday,
some way. And he says, I got that someday covered.
And then finally notice, I love this last line.
He says, he will rejoice over you with singing.
This is a picture literally of God. And for some
of us men, this is sort of a hard picture because.
It's a picture of God holding you like you're
a little helpless baby. And like you've ever
seen a mom, I've watched Teresa do this when
our kids were small. And now when she puts our
grandkids to bed, I can hear in the other room
and she'll hold the little ones and she'll sing
over them. And it's just sort of this, I just
want to quiet you down. I rejoice over you. God's
presence. God's power. All of God's. pride. You
are His delight. He just wants you to know, that's
how I feel about you. You're listening to Living
on the Edge. We'll get you back to today's program
in just a second. But first, did you know that
other believers are paramount to your faith journey?
Keep listening after this message as Chip explains
why and highlights some resources we have to
get you into authentic community today. Stick
around to learn more. But for now, here again
is Chip. Can you imagine what would happen and
how free your life could be and how you could
simplify and begin to push some of the stuff
on the front page of these notes to the side
if you honestly in your heart of hearts believed
that's how God actually feels about you at this
moment. And are you ready? Nothing you can do
can ever change that. Now you can have windows
of blessing through obedience, but even when
he disciplines us, it's because he loves you.
That's why Paul would pray to the Ephesian church.
He would pray, since God already loves you, I
pray that you might be strengthened in your inner
man so that you might comprehend the height and
depth and length and breadth and to know the
love of God that surpasses knowledge or comprehension.
That's a great thing to pray for one another
and for your kids. Well, it raises a question,
okay, can we all agree at this point? That's
true. God really loves me and he loves me like
that. Well, how do you make the connection? The
fact that he loves you and how do you get it
operational in your heart, in your life, in your
experience? Notice what the scripture says. It
says, God deposits his love in his followers'
hearts through his spirit. Same passage, 1 John,
he goes on. He says, we know that we live in
him and he in us because he's given us his spirit.
put a circle around, live in him, and then another
circle, live in us, and you might put little
arrows and connect them. We know, he says, it's
absolute truth that we live in him, connection,
and he in us, connection, because he's given
us or he's deposited us in us his spirit. And
then he explains how that works. He says, and
we have seen and testify that the father has
sent his son to be the savior of the world. If
anyone acknowledges, literally the word is confess,
agrees with, that Jesus is the son of God, God
lives in him, and he in God. He says there is
a condition to experience and receive God's love.
Christ died on the cross, fully God and fully
man, to pay for your sin, my sin, the sins of
all people of all time. He's our sin substitute.
He says if you confess and acknowledge, it's
not your good works, it's not your religiosity,
Christ died in your place as your substitute.
And if you turn from sin, receive his forgiveness.
He says, the spirit of God comes into your mortal
body and you live in him and he lives in you
and he takes up residence inside of you. And
he will then manifest the power and the presence
of the living God. And now you have that connection.
On my little iPad, it goes like this. Then it
goes. And it connects. And then a bunch of stuff
downloads. And he wants to download adoption
and forgiveness and place you in his family and
grace and seal you with the spirit and give you
spiritual gifts and create a new path. And the
same power that raised Christ from the dead dwells
in you the moment you do that. Now he goes on
to say that when we're filled or controlled by
the Holy Spirit, the outcome or the overflow
is love. So the Spirit lives inside of you. The
Spirit, God, the second person of the Trinity,
is the means by which God's love gets from out
there in here. And then look what it says in
Galatians 5, 22 and 23. The fruit, singular.
The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness. Goes
on to say self -control. So that love that I
just described about his presence and his power
and you being the object of his affection, all
of that is available. But there's only two reasons
why you can't experience it. Reason number one
would be living like I did my first 18 years
outside of Christ. I intellectually was aware
of God's love, but I'd never turn from my sin,
ask Christ to forgive me and come into my life.
If you've never done that, today's a great day
to do it. It's called being born from above or
being born by the spirit. The Bible calls it
salvation. It's when you experience forgiveness
and a spirit comes into your life and you are
justified. You're declared righteous before God
because of what Christ did for you. Now, the
second reason you can be a believer and his spirit
lives in you. But what I found is I can have
this thing and I'm not going to mention which
carrier that it is. But there's times where I
can turn this baby on, and I can be working,
and then all of a sudden, cannot send mail, cannot
receive mail. It drops. You know, just like you
have a drop call. I can't get anything. And maybe
it's because there's too many buildings, or maybe
it's a dead spot. But basically, there's interference.
There's times where interference from whatever
signals come on that little pad, and I can't
get anything. I've got the pad. I'm connected.
I paid my bill. But there's interference. And
you can have the Spirit of God living in you,
but if he's not in control, if there's interference
like sin, like you know exactly what God wants
you to do, but you say no, if your priorities
are out of whack, if you get so busy and so inundated
doing other things and pursuing other, you know,
God in his great love doesn't bless there's interference.
And so he says, if we confess our sins, he's
faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse
us from all unrighteousness. So some of you are
here today that you desperately need to experience
God's love. And intellectually, you're saying,
yeah, I really want that. And you're saying,
I know I'm really a Christian. And you're saying,
but my life is crazy. And I'm not experiencing
that. Well, guess what? Part of how you experience
it is he wants to give you grace and he wants
to speak to you. But it's been a while since
you really talked to him. And he wants you to
stop and simplify your life and quit chasing
the wind and be quiet before him. And he's going
to bring people into your life if you slow down
and get connected to him where you get together
and he's going to show up in the physical bodies
of other people and love you through their words
and their arms and their feet and their kindness.
And so all I want to get to you is to know one
thing. You were created to be loved. The source
of love is God. His means of experiencing that
love is depositing his spirit inside of you.
And third, his spirit can live inside of you,
but you need to surrender to and be in alignment
and obedience to that spirit so what he has for
you, you can actually receive. And so if you
want to know the question, where do you find
it? God. By what means? The spirit. As you walk
in obedience. Now here's what I'm going to tell
you. Knowing where to get love and experiencing
it is two very different things. I mean, everything
I've said, you can agree with me and say to yourself,
but I still feel lonely. I'm really kind of discouraged.
I feel kind of depressed. I don't feel very loved
at all. And I'm a Christian. And in fact, I'm,
gosh, I read the Bible some and I'm praying.
So I'm in one of those small groups and it's
okay. But I'm not getting what you're talking
about. So let's now ask and answer the question,
how do you get it? How do you experience love?
You can be deeply loved and yet not experience
it. Many, many years ago, I remember reading
the article, maybe some of you can remember about
the bubble boy. He was born without an immune
system. And this little boy grew up and he was
in a bubble, literally a bubble. And his parents,
they would have to... put things in through this.
He never got touched. His parents loved him and
they cared for him, but he never got touched
by him. He lived literally in a plastic room
bubble because if he came out, he would die.
You know, I think there's a lot of Christians
that on the outside, there's this God that longs
to connect with you and touch you and love you
and encourage you, but there's this bubble. Many
times by our own creating, sometimes by the work
of others. And God wants to break through that
and connect your heart to his so you experience
his love. Let me give you the two major ways
that God has designed for us to experience his
love. God designed love to be birthed and modeled
in our families. Ephesians 5, 18. through chapter
six, verse four. I'd encourage you to follow
along and I don't usually read a long passage,
but this one is one you just need to lean back.
And here's what I want you to listen as I read.
Notice we said love comes from God's spirit.
Notice he's going to talk about you surrendering
or allowing the spirit to control you. And then
I'm going to show you from scripture that God
has a very clear design that where he wants us
to learn about love is in our families. He actually
designed the family system to work in such a
way that little boys and little girls would grow
up feeling loved, affirmed, cared for, not for
what they do, but for who they are. Pick it up
with me in verse 15. The apostle, after telling
us all this great stuff we have in Christ, says,
be very careful then how you live, not as unwise,
but as wise. Making the most of every opportunity
because the days are evil. Therefore, don't be
foolish, but understand what the will of the
Lord is. And he says, well, what's the will of
the Lord? Well, don't be drunk with wine, which
leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled, and
the word means controlled, with the Spirit. Well,
if you're filled with the Spirit, what happens?
Well, speak to one another with psalms and hymns
and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your
heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God
the Father for everything in the name of our
Lord Jesus Christ. And then, by the way, submit
to one another out of reverence for Christ. When
you're filled with the spirit, there's a joy
in your heart. There's a melody. There's a perspective
where you realize God's in control and he's good
and you choose to give thanks. And then he says,
now I'm going to talk about relationships and
how love works when the spirit's in control.
And he says, the baseline is no one steps up
and says, I got to have my way on my terms. Submit
or surrender one to another. In other words,
God, you're the great choreographer and you're
going to put relationships together. You show
me my part of the dance. You show me my role.
So that I can get and receive your love and then
give it in the way you want me to. And so then
he starts and says, okay, family relationships.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ
is the head of the church, his body, of which
he is the Savior. Now, as the church submits
to Christ, so wives should submit to their husbands
and everything. And just before the women go,
are you kidding? He says, husbands. Love your
wives just as Christ loved the church. Well,
he died. You're starting to get the point, guys.
And gave himself for her to make her holy, cleansing
her by the washing of the water with the word,
to present her to himself as a radiant church
without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish,
but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands
ought to love their wives as their own bodies.
He who loves his wife loves himself. After all,
no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds
and cares for it just as Christ does the church.
for we're members of his body. For this reason,
a man will leave his mother and father and be
united to his wife and the two will become one
flesh. This is a profound mystery, but I'm talking
about Christ in the church. However, application,
each one of you must love his wife as himself
and the wife must respect her husband. Children,
obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.
Honor your father and mother. Respect, don't
talk back. Listen to them, obey them. Why? Well,
this is the first commandment with the promise
that it may go well with you and that you may
live and enjoy a long life on the earth. Fathers,
do not exasperate your children. Instead, bring
them up in the training and the instruction of
the Lord. He's going to go on and talk about
slaves and masters. But here's what he says.
The spirit of God contains the love of God. The
spirit of God comes into a human heart. He's
going to say there can either be resistance or
you can surrender and say, I want to do life
your way. This is Living on the Edge with Chip
Ingram, and you've been listening to part one
of Chip's message, What the World Needs Now is
Love, Sweet Love, from our series, Spiritual
Simplicity. Chip will be back shortly to share
some helpful application for us to think about.
Most of us live very hectic lives, moving too
fast, demanding too much, and delivering too
little. If you're desperate for an alternative
that actually works, then this study is for you.
Chip's teaching will help you escape this destructive
pattern and reveal how to better prioritize what
matters most and love others in a fresh, revolutionary
way. If you've missed any part of this series,
catch up anytime through the Chip Ingram app.
Well, our Bible teacher, Chip Ingram, is again
with us in studio to share a compelling word
with all of you. Chip? Thanks so much, Dave.
The culture around us is a battleground. and
we're not called to retreat, but to engage. And
we have resources designed to equip you and your
community to live courageously for Christ in
today's culture. On our website, you'll find
studies and tools that will affirm your faith
and help you discover the unique giftings God
has given you to advance his kingdom in this
world. These small group materials will help
you connect authentically, grow spiritually,
and live out your faith in your community. Let's
not just go to church. Let's be the church. Powerful
challenge, Chip. Well, to learn more about our
library of small group resources, visit livingontheedge
.org. And let me tell you, they're so easy to
use. Chip provides the teaching. Then you'll
have time to discuss what you've heard alongside
our helpful study guides. We also offer help
for leaders to direct their groups. So if you're
not yet in a small group or looking for what
to study next, check out our resources. And for
a limited time, we've discounted all our small
group resources so you can get into community
today. To learn more, go to livingontheedge .org
or call 888 -333 -6003. Well, Chip, as we wrap
up this program, I think it's essential that
we loop back into the topic of surrender and
submission. Take a minute to unpack its critical
role in a Christian's life and what God actually
intended it to look like. I'd be glad to, Dave.
The fact of the matter is we all have to submit
to someone. Little babies, little kids, you have
to learn to submit to your parents' wisdom because
they know more. So you don't put your hand on
the stove. You don't run out into the street.
clearly lines out he's designed the world in
such a way that he places boundaries and people
and at times rules and laws not to prohibit our
freedom. but to actually make us free. And whether
it's in our personal relationships, submitting
to God and his word, in our marriage relationships,
whether it's submitting and laying down your
life for your wife or as a woman to respect and
submit to your husband to be a team, whether
it's children obeying their parents, submission
is the channel through which God's biggest and
best blessings flow. And our human nature just
grades against it. And I think for many of us,
we've bought into freedom means I can do whatever
I want. The very last line in the teaching, I
said, the Spirit of God reveals the love of God.
And each one of us wants to resist against the
Spirit's work in our life. Here's my question
for you today. Are you going to do life today
God's way or your way? Is there an area in your
life he's been speaking to you about? Submit,
surrender, obey me, not your way. And if he is,
can I encourage you, do it today. You'll be glad.
Thanks, Chip. Well, if you want to go back and
listen to any part of this series or get your
hands on the message notes Chip mentioned, go
to the Chip Ingram app. It's an easy way to get
plugged in with our resources or share them with
others. We long to see every Christian living
like a Christian. And the tools available through
the Chip Ingram app can help. Check it out today.
Well, join us next time as Chip continues his
series, Spiritual Simplicity. Until then, I'm
Dave Drewy, thanking you for listening to this
edition of Living on the Edge.