In the name of love, we've all done some pretty
stupid things. I could tell some pretty embarrassing
stories about in the name of love, I love someone,
and then I just did something absolutely idiotic.
Today, we're going to help you not make some
of those very same mistakes. Stay with me. Welcome
to this edition of Living on the Edge with Chip
Ingram. The mission of this daily program is
to intentionally disciple Christians through
the insightful Bible teaching of Chip Ingram.
You know, it should go without saying that love
is the cornerstone of every relationship. However,
today, as we continue our series, Spiritual Simplicity,
Chip reminds us that without proper boundaries
and guardrails, love can actually be very damaging
to us. If you're ready to learn how, then go
again to 1 Corinthians chapter 13 in your Bible
as we join Chip for today's talk. Has anyone
noticed that each of the titles of the messages
has been the title of a song? Have you picked
that up? Right? You know, we had Tina Turner,
what's love got to do with it? All you need is
love. And well, I'm kind of on a roll. So this
is going to be the title of a song. And what
I love is that some of the songs I had to preface
it with, like if you were born, you know, maybe
you've heard this on an oldie station. The title
of the song is actually, The most sung song by
U2 in any of their concerts. It was one of their
early hits. It got to number three in the UK
charts and number five on the Dutch charts. And
then it grew in its popularity. It's been on
three different albums. It's of the, according
to Rolling Stone, which is the authority on rock
and roll, of all time best rock and roll songs,
it's 388 out of 500. And according to VH1, out
of the top 100 songs ever, it's number 38. You
just didn't know I would know that kind of stuff,
did you? What's interesting about this song is
apparently the melody and things, they were in
a jam session while they were in a studio in
Hawaii, and later the lyrics came out. And the
lyrics are about a famous person, but if you
read the lyrics, I actually read the lyrics,
and if you try to figure out what this song is
about, it's almost impossible. In fact, I've
got a quote here from Bono who says, You know,
when we started to put it on an album, the lyrics
are really sketchy. And when I read him, he says,
what in the heck is this talking about? This
is just a bunch of vowels thrown together that
don't make a lot of sense. Now, this is his own
comment on the lyrics. But the producers of the
song said, you know what? That's really true.
It doesn't make a lot of sense. But for non -English
speakers, the different words that it has, it'll
be like an impressionistic painting. And so it's
interesting. So here we have a song in the name
of love that at the core of the lyrics, if you
read the lyrics, they don't make a lot of sense.
And you're thinking, okay, Chip, you really need
to make the connection here soon about what this
has to do with living simply. Here's what hit
me. All of us in the name of love do things that
don't make sense. I mean, in the name of love,
sometimes we do very, very good things. But they
just don't make sense. And so I came across,
here's a little poem. If you'll get your notes
out. On the very front, here's some things that
in the name of love, and by the way, there's
no criticism here. This is like genuine, sincere,
in the name of love. I really want to do what's
best. I really want to care for people. I want
to be a good person. But in the name of love,
we give and give and give some more, yet still
feel guilty. for not giving more. In the name
of love, we get up early and come home late,
leaving little time or energy to relate. In the
name of love, we're always on the go, but love
requires the gear of slow. In the name of love,
we start them early so they'll be a star, and
then we spend our weekends in the car. In the
name of love, we buy them computers and fancy
phones, only discover they feel... all alone.
In the name of love, we celebrate their role
on the traveling team and wonder later why at
church they're rarely seen. And in the name of
love, we make success what we reward, but show
little passion for God's word. Now, if you went
through that, what I can tell you is there's
a lot of, you know, look at the first one. Isn't
it good to be giving and generous? Well, yeah.
And isn't it good to work hard, get up early?
And if you have to stay late, yeah. Well, isn't
it good to be on the go and be active? You don't
be a couch potato, right? That's a good thing.
Isn't it good that, you know, you start them,
I guess, early and you want to develop their
skills. And I mean, the motive is great there.
And, you know, heck, I mean, don't you want your
kids to have a computer and it's the age and
they need to learn it and, you know, a phone
to keep them safe. And see, there's a lot of
really good things with a lot of really good
motives. that if the means becomes the end or
if there's a little shift over time, in the name
of love, in our minds and hearts and motives,
we often think we're doing some really good things
that produce some really bad results. And that's
the question I want to address this morning here
in part four. Why do so many good things? so
often result in so many bad lives. And what we're
gonna learn, we're gonna discuss today, you know,
in each of this, the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians
chapter 13, he's addressing a very high capacity,
very gifted, very cosmopolitan, metropolitan
church that is very immature, that is very selfish,
that has lots of conflict. and is very unloving.
And so all of chapter 13 isn't some beautiful
poem about love. He addresses how they hurt one
another. He addresses how they deal with differences.
He addresses, you know, this whole idea of what
happens when you fail. And now he's going to
talk to us about how love responds to misplaced
priorities. I want to do a quick review before
we talk about how love responds to misplaced
priorities, because the whole issue, I mean,
I'm getting emails from people that are so encouraging.
I got an email from a lady who said, I just want
you to know, I had a number of opportunities
this week to absorb a blow when people hurt me
and respond with a hug. I got email from someone
who said, you know something? I had a situation
this week where all the circumstances kind of
look like, wow, really bad stuff happening. And
I chose to believe the best about this person's
motives. And so let's do a quick review because
the issue isn't, someday, someway, that we try
to be more loving. These are the kind of things
we have to practice in real time. Situation number
one is how does love respond to hurts? The truth
is love is patient and kind. The practice we
learned is when you're hurt, wounded, rejected,
or ignored, love, remember the pillow, absorbs
a blow. It's not fair. It hurts. You rejected.
But then by God's grace, returns a hug. Situation
number two is how love responds to differences.
The text says love doesn't envy, doesn't boast.
It's not rude. It's not self -seeking. It's not
easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs.
The practice is love celebrates differences.
And remember the principle about loving? Love
refuses to compare. Anytime you compare yourself
with another person in any area, it always leads
to carnality. You are who you are in the station
you are in the season you're living by the grace
of God. If I compare upwardly, I'm prone to envy.
If I compare downwardly, I'm prone to arrogance.
Love chooses to do another, but celebrates. That's
where they're at. That's what they have. That's
how they're made. That's their gifts. That's
their season. Third situation is how does love
respond to failure? The truth was verses six
through eight. Love does not delight in evil,
but rejoices in the truth. It always protects.
It always trusts. It always hopes. It always
perseveres. Love never fails. The practice is
love responds to failure, remember, with both
truth and grace. When people fail you, when your
mate fails you, when your best friend fails you,
when people don't show up, when you fail other
people, When you fail God, love, this is how
it responds. It doesn't put it under the rug.
It doesn't act like it doesn't happen. It doesn't
stuff it down. It doesn't pay him back later.
Love responds with truth. This is the truth about
that failure. It's very real. It was very painful
and it was wrong. And it also responds with grace.
And I still care about you. And I want to forgive
you. And this can be made whole. And so we learned
that the practice of giving truth and grace was
about bearing all things, believing all things,
hoping all things, and enduring all things. Now
the apostle Paul is going to address these Corinthians
because they are self -centered. They are more
concerned about who does what and who has what.
And their priorities in the church are absolutely
out of whack. They are so into, in some cases,
my needs that they're suing one another. They're
so interested in being first and being out front
that they're doing some spiritual practices and
literally just dissing other people. They're
in this deal where their priorities, they're
exalting some of the gifts and exalting some
of what... It's supposed to be in the church
that God talks about, but they put it up here,
and the things that really matter, they're totally
neglecting. And so the Apostle Paul is going
to write to him, situation number four, how does
love respond to misplaced priorities? You can
jot that in your notes if you would. And he answers,
here's the truth. Love never fails. Where there
are prophecies, they'll cease. Where there's
tongues, they will be stilled. Where there's
knowledge, it'll pass away. Then he gives us
the reason. For we know in part and we prophesy
in part, but when the perfection comes, and put
a circle around perfection, will you? We'll come
back and address that. When the perfection comes,
the imperfect disappears. And now he gives us
an illustration. He's going to give us some help
about how to get your priorities in order. He
says, when I was a child, I talked like a child,
I thought like a child, and I reasoned like a
child. When I became a man, I put away childish
things. In your notes, will you underline the
word talked, underline the word think, and underline
the word reasoned? There are three key verbs.
Now we see, but a poor reflection as in a mirror,
then we shall see face to face. Now I know in
part, then I shall know fully, even as I'm fully
known. And now these three remain, faith, hope,
and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Now, it is poetic. It is beautiful. It is on
plaques everywhere in the world. It is said at
weddings. It's said in kind of romantic settings.
But you need to understand what he's addressing
here is not sort of a foo -foo, ooey -gooey,
how to feel about one another. He's correcting.
misplaced priorities in a church, and he's giving
them very clear guidelines about what's really
important and how to get some of those things.
I'm just going to assume the best of the Corinthians.
I'm going to assume they really wanted to do
the right thing. But just like in the name of
love, we do things that are kind of silly and
stupid and don't get us there, so did they. And
so the practice here is love ruthlessly refuses
to allow temporal good things to crowd out the
eternal best things. And when you put a box around,
I mean, I chose these words very carefully. Ruthlessly
refuses. Put a box around that phrase. And I
want to give you a little warning. What we're
going to talk about is where a lot of the rubber
really meets the road. If you want to simplify
your life. If you want to find yourself three
months, three years, five years, 10 years down
from here and say to yourself, you know something?
I love God now like I never dreamed I could experience.
I have relationships like I never dreamed. There's
issues in my family that have come together that
I never thought I would ever experience. A lot
of it is going to come down to you hearing today
what God says to you and then you taking some
very specific. And I mean, there'll be radical
steps. We will not talk about how to tweak your
schedule and get five or 7 % more time to do
a few more important things. We're gonna talk
about priorities that if you get serious about
what God wants, you're gonna have to say to certain
whole sections of your life, you know something,
that's been way up here. You know what, for a
season, I just need to stop doing that. I gotta
get refocused at a new level about what really,
really matters. Love ruthlessly. Ruthlessly.
That means, oh, I don't want, if I do that, she'll
get mad at me. If I do that, I want to do that.
Well, I get a lot of strokes out of that. Well,
that's one of my hobbies and I really, and so
you keep trying to tweak and what happens? Seven
days later, you're as over -scheduled, over -demand,
overwhelmed as you were two weeks before. You're
really smart people. If tweaking a little bit
here or there was the solution, you would have
solved this a long time ago. So let's look at,
okay, God, help us. How do we ruthlessly refuse
to allow? Notice it's not bad things. The things
that eat you up, they're not bad things. They're
temporal. They're really good things. But the
good is always the enemy of the best. His thesis
here is that love is supreme. Love is our number
one priority. That phrase, love never fails,
it's kind of a hinge. And then it kind of opens
the door to how love responds to misplaced priorities.
The word fails 70 different times in the New
Testament. It's translated, love never falls.
It means love will never be corrupted. Love will
never cease. Love is permanent. Love lasts. He's
saying loving God and loving people is the number
one priority in your life. And see, what we've
got to do is step back and say, okay, if someone
picked up my schedule, if someone picked up where
all my money went, if someone could pick up and
read my mind about where my thoughts are when
I didn't have something to do, would my thoughts
and my time and my money and my energy and my
actions tell the story that, wow, this person
really loves God and really loves people? Or
would it... They listen to my words and say,
this person says and thinks and actually is deluded
into believing they really love God and really
love people. But when you look at their time,
their money, their dreams, their schedule, and
their energy, it looks like they really love
themselves a lot. And they really have believed
a few lies. That's what he's dealing with that
church then. And that's what he's talking to
us about today. The contrast. He says love is
supreme. Love's the number one priority. The
best of temporal things, the good, even spiritually
beneficial, powerful gifts are far less important
than love. I mean, isn't that exactly what he
says? Look at second half of verse eight. There's
a big word. Love never fails, but, but, where
there's prophecies, they'll cease. Where there's
tongues in and of themselves, they're gonna go
away. Where there's knowledge, I mean, even the
great mysteries of God. So the Apostle Paul,
if you study this book carefully, remember he
told him in chapter 12, prophecy is the most
important of all the gifts. And now he comes
back and says, you know, even that one's going
away. The Corinthians believed that tongues was
the most important gift. He goes, well, yours
is going away. And they said, we would both agree
that, I mean, knowledge, the very mystery and
knowledge of life and God. He says, that's going
to go away. And those are the things, those are
about ministry. Those are about the kingdom of
God. I mean, prophecy and tongues and knowledge.
And he says, wait a second. Compared to love,
they're not the number one priority. You're listening
to Living on the Edge. We'll return you to Chip's
message in just a minute. But let me quickly
share with you, God has called us to do incredible
ministry work all around the world. And when
you partner with us financially, you're part
of what we do. So if you'd like to join us, go
to livingontheedge .org. We appreciate you giving
whatever God leads you to give. Well, with that,
here's Chip. The reason he gives us in verse
9 and 10, the reason is because they don't last.
They're temporal. Could you put a line under?
They don't last. Because this is what he's trying
to get into their mind and into their heart.
He says, for we know in part, we prophesy in
part, but when perfection comes, when the perfect
comes, a lot of debate on this, but the clearest
explanation, things are going to be completed
when Jesus comes back. I mean, I don't mean the
rapture. I don't mean when he comes back. I mean,
when the second coming of Christ, when the absolute
completion and perfection of all things gets
sealed. There won't be any need for prophecy,
won't be any need for tongues. The knowledge
won't be in part, it'll be face to face. We're
gonna know him fully just as we've been already
fully known. And what he's saying is, look, you
guys are so into and arguing about and stressed
and pulled in all these directions about some
very good things, but what prophecy and knowledge,
all they have in common is they're temporal.
It's not that they don't matter at all. It's
like helping your kids learn sports at an early
age or wanting them to get into a good college
or wanting to be upwardly mobile or getting some
extra training or wanting to do well in your
job. Those aren't bad things, are they? I mean,
if you would walk through carefully later today
the list of things that I put on the front page
of your notes, every single one of those has
a really good, isn't it good to be giving? Yeah,
it's good to be giving, but if you give, give,
give, give, give, give, and don't honor God and
take some time to get renewed, then guess what?
You just feel guilty and burned out. I mean,
it's good to help your kids grow, but if your
whole world is traveling around in minivans and
SUVs and all your weekends are taken up helping
your kids hit balls and kick balls and chase
balls to where you're never together and connected
from the heart. See, some good means, some very
good things, but it's sort of a wash. So we're
living in this world where, you know, you're
not a good dad if you don't do this. You're not
a good mom if you don't do that. I mean, you're
never gonna make it as a single person unless
you go here, go here, go here, do this, do this.
I mean, you're not successful and significant
unless you have a bag that looks like this, a
watch that looks like this, and a car that drives
like that. You wanna make it or not? And you
gotta start asking, make what? So yeah, that's
right. So what do you wanna make? You want to
make it big and go through a couple marriages?
You want to make it big and have kids that don't
know your name and don't care about you? You
want to make it big and be successful? Some people,
they do it in ministry. Every time the church
doors are open, they're here and doing this and
doing that. I was talking on the phone with a
guy from another country last night that I'm
going to do some ministry with in the future.
We just got off the phone and I just said, can
I just, you know, the guy's, he's a Harvard grad.
He's got theology. He teaches in the seminaries
in charge of this humongous, the administrative
side of a church of about 75 ,000 in another
country. And I said, just, is there one thing
I could pray for you? He said, yeah, there is
one thing. And I said, what is it? He goes, you
know, I have three almost full -time jobs and
there's all this demand. And my wife's very understanding,
but my daughter's eight. And she just doesn't
understand very much. I said, well, what do you
mean she doesn't understand? She goes, well,
I just don't see her very often. I said, what
do you mean you don't see her very often? I don't
see her. I mean, I work 12 to 14 hour days and
I'm gone early and I come home late. So I just
don't get to see her very much. And this is a
pastor. And I know that's not right. And it's
always followed by this, but. And I said, you
know, when I'm going to be in your country in
the near future, and why don't you and I get
some time? I've kind of lived where I was tempted
and struggled with some of those things. I have
four kids, and let's make that part of our little
time together. Now, I didn't tell him, buddy,
I'm going to build a little trust with you, and
I'm going to spiritually kick your rear end as
hard and as long as I can. And I'm going to look
you in the eye and say, do you understand how
good things, very good things, in the name of
love, produce some really bad lives? I'll tell
you, he's going to have a little girl that doesn't
like God, let alone love God, and will wonder
why the church or God took her daddy away from
her. And some of you are going to have kids who
wonder why the name of your company did that.
or your drive did that, or golf did that, or
your hobby did that, or the speed of your life
did that, or how, just because your kids say,
I want, I want, please, please, yeah, yeah, yeah,
and you cave into them, guess what? You can give
people what they want, but if you don't give
them what they need, they like you for giving
them what they want now, then they hate you later
for not giving them what they need. That's the
difference between parents and kids. Picture
that. helped me with this was a guy named Jim
Dethmer gave a message that really helped me.
And he had an illustration that I'd like to just
steal. Because, you know, there's part of this
theological when you say, what do you mean? They'll
fade away. They don't matter. It's not like those
good things you're doing don't matter. It's not
like ministry doesn't matter. So what's it mean?
What's the picture? And I love the illustration
he gave. He said, imagine that we were having
a big party, everyone in the church, big party,
all the services coming together. And, you know,
we rent a park and, I mean, we're going to have
ice cream and we're going to have food and a
barbecue and we're going to celebrate. There's
going to be great music. And so we get like four
or five of our best artists. And we want you
to create a sculpture that, I mean, gives glory
to God, that just magnifies the artistic talent
and ability that you have. And here's this big
room. It's about, you know, 30 feet by 40 feet.
and this big block of ice. And you know, they're
in there with chainsaws. And so they work for
weeks and then they put it on these rollers and
we're thousands of us and we're having music
and here it is, this beautiful fountain and it's
out in 100 degrees and who knows, maybe we could
have chocolate coming out of it or something.
But you know, there's swans and I mean, it's
just an amazing deal, right? And you know, we
stop and all of us are going, wow. What can you
believe? Man, unbelievable. Do you see? That
is the most amazing. How do they do that with
ice, right? You know, we're all just like this.
Three hours later, the party's over. What they
did was wonderful. Their energy was wonderful.
We appreciated it. But three to four hours later,
some of us are volunteering, cleaning up the
chairs. We're picking up the paper. The swan
only has one arm. The thing's melting. By dusk,
a handful of us are just cleaning up. And where
that beautiful ice sculpture used to be, there's
just puddles of water. See, it's not that what
you are doing or what I'm doing doesn't have
any value. It's that it doesn't have any value
that lasts. And there's some of us that'll stand
before the judgment seat of Christ. And I just
say this from God's loving heart to you as a
warning. And you will spend your time and your
energy doing very good things that you think
with all your heart are in the name of love in
your relationships, in your families, and in
your work. And you'll get near the end of your
life or worse by the time if you have a family
where your kids are grown. And what you'll look
back on is just pools of water that have no significance,
that are going nowhere. and you wish you could
turn back the clock. Before we even go on in
today's broadcast, I just want to stop and I
want to ask you, what aspect of your life is
like the ice sculpture? I mean, it's not that
it's not beautiful. It's not that it's not something
that looks pretty cool or takes a lot of energy
and effort, but it doesn't last. And you know,
sometimes God brings us some emergencies, some
things to jolt our life, because we're talking
about how love responds to misplaced priorities.
And we all have them to one degree or another.
And after many years of being a pastor, I have
a pretty good rhythm of my life in terms of priorities
and when I study and what I do. But I'm like
everybody else. You know, you get tired and you
slip into patterns where you watch a little too
much TV or, you know, kind of go into a little
denial and spend a little more time on a hobby
doing this or that. And it was interesting. As
soon as I found my wife had breast cancer, it
was like I know I needed to simplify. and not
stop doing things that were wrong. But I just
knew, you know, for this season, I just don't
want to watch any TV. For this season, I decided
to, you know, I have my devotions in the morning.
For this season, I decided, you know, before
I go to bed, I'm just going to read through the
Gospels. I need to draw near to God. I need to
purify and clarify. And I believe that's what
God's saying to some of you. So let me ask you,
how much time goes into hobbies? How much time
is pursuing more money and more work? And what's
that going to look like later? Or how many of
you are just, I mean, overdosed on how good you're
going to be at this sport or that sport or your
SAT scores or what school that you go into? Not
sinful or bad or in and of itself, but what does
that produce in the long haul if it consumes
your heart and your life? I mean, how much time
goes into fantasy football and passing on YouTube
funny things to other people? How much of our
life just is consumed with playing and eating
and watching and not asking the big question,
why am I here? What am I to accomplish? Am I
rightly aligned with God? Do I have peace in
my heart? And am I loving people around me? The
word amuse means a means against and muse means
to think. Amusement means to not think. And as
someone has rightly said in our culture, we're
amusing ourselves to death. Let me encourage
you to take stock today to evaluate where your
priorities are and then make one specific step
toward clearing the decks for some extra time
with God to get some clarity from Him. Thanks
for the reminder, Chip. And if you're looking
for practical help to recommit your life to Jesus,
let me recommend Chip's book, True Spirituality,
Becoming a Romans 12 Christian. Through this
resource, he'll walk you through how to become
a genuine follower of Christ. Order your copy
of True Spirituality by going to specialoffersatlivingontheedge
.org. Maybe even get two for you and a friend
to study together. We want to help you grow in
your walk with Jesus, and this tool will help.
Well, Chip's still with me. And Chip, many of
those listening right now wholeheartedly believe
in the work and mission of living on the edge
and are considering becoming a financial partner,
but haven't yet because they think their gift
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What would you say to them? Dave, you know, a
lot of people think that, but the fact of the
matter. It's not just a person giving, say, $10
or $25 or $30 or $50 or whatever they think seems
to be insignificant with the huge needs that
there are to help people here and around the
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If just a few thousand, say if 10 ,000 gave $10
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some of you who... just don't feel like you have
enough to give or it wouldn't make much of a
difference, would you pray and say, Lord, I will
just give whatever you would lead me to give?
And could you know when you do that, it's a lot
like the widow's mite. God will honor it, and
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your faith. Search for Living on the Edge with
Chip Ingram today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
or wherever you listen to podcasts. Well, coming
up on the next edition of Living on the Edge,
we'll continue Chip's series, Spiritual Simplicity.
So I hope you'll join us. But until then, I'm
Dave Drewy. Thanks for listening.