WEBVTT 00:00:01.290 --> 00:00:04.530 Do you long to be loved just for being you? Do 00:00:04.530 --> 00:00:06.849 you long for people just to see you and know 00:00:06.849 --> 00:00:09.169 you and really love you? Well, I got news for 00:00:09.169 --> 00:00:11.269 you. That's true of all of us, but there's a 00:00:11.269 --> 00:00:14.410 danger. We tend to look for love in all the wrong 00:00:14.410 --> 00:00:17.250 places. Today, we're going to learn how to avoid 00:00:17.250 --> 00:00:23.250 that pitfall. Stay with me. Welcome to this edition 00:00:23.250 --> 00:00:26.559 of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. The mission 00:00:26.559 --> 00:00:29.120 of this daily program is to intentionally disciple 00:00:29.120 --> 00:00:31.559 Christians through the insightful Bible teaching 00:00:31.559 --> 00:00:33.899 of Chip Ingram. You know, I think we all know 00:00:33.899 --> 00:00:36.600 someone who's trusted the wrong person in a relationship. 00:00:36.859 --> 00:00:39.219 Or maybe you've experienced the pain of betrayal 00:00:39.219 --> 00:00:42.200 yourself. Well, today Chip explores the origins 00:00:42.200 --> 00:00:45.060 of our longing for connection and love and explains 00:00:45.060 --> 00:00:47.740 how to steer clear of the common relational traps 00:00:47.740 --> 00:00:50.640 that many fall into. So with that, here's Chip 00:00:50.640 --> 00:00:53.219 with his talk, Looking for Love in All the Wrong 00:00:53.219 --> 00:00:58.280 Places, from 1 Corinthians chapter 13. I think 00:00:58.280 --> 00:01:01.119 there's three things that are true of every person 00:01:01.119 --> 00:01:06.040 on this planet. Number one, we all fail. I'm 00:01:06.040 --> 00:01:08.959 just going to, I mean, even you, you know. I 00:01:08.959 --> 00:01:11.299 mean, you can call it mess up, blow it, miss 00:01:11.299 --> 00:01:13.659 the mark. But I mean, every single person every 00:01:13.659 --> 00:01:18.269 week fails. Number two. We all have legitimate 00:01:18.269 --> 00:01:22.590 desires and needs that are God -ordained that 00:01:22.590 --> 00:01:26.650 we pursue. I mean, legitimate desires to be significant, 00:01:26.969 --> 00:01:31.469 to be loved, to give love, to be secure, to have 00:01:31.469 --> 00:01:33.590 purpose, that our lives would have an impact. 00:01:33.670 --> 00:01:38.450 We just have legitimate God -given desires and 00:01:38.450 --> 00:01:43.109 needs that God wants us to pursue. Third fact. 00:01:43.950 --> 00:01:47.730 In a fallen world, our failures are often an 00:01:47.730 --> 00:01:52.489 attempt to obtain good things in a bad way. I 00:01:52.489 --> 00:01:56.030 want you to let that one sink in. Sometimes when 00:01:56.030 --> 00:01:58.650 we fail, we're covered with shame. And sometimes 00:01:58.650 --> 00:02:01.489 we fail and we get down on ourselves. Or if you're 00:02:01.489 --> 00:02:03.569 like me, you try and at least blame someone else 00:02:03.569 --> 00:02:07.010 for a while instead of yourself. But what would 00:02:07.010 --> 00:02:10.270 happen if you could begin to see That some of 00:02:10.270 --> 00:02:12.469 the patterns in your life and some of the patterns 00:02:12.469 --> 00:02:15.629 in my life, where you fail, where you mess up, 00:02:15.750 --> 00:02:17.590 where there's breakdown of relationships, where 00:02:17.590 --> 00:02:19.669 there's breakdown in your relationship with God, 00:02:19.770 --> 00:02:21.550 where you feel terrible and you know you've blown 00:02:21.550 --> 00:02:26.430 it. What if you begin to understand that you 00:02:26.430 --> 00:02:30.389 were really looking for something good that was 00:02:30.389 --> 00:02:35.050 a God -ordained need or desire, but you went 00:02:35.050 --> 00:02:39.280 about finding it in the wrong way. that would 00:02:39.280 --> 00:02:41.419 begin to give you some new light to deal with 00:02:41.419 --> 00:02:44.680 that failure. In this book written to the Corinthians, 00:02:44.800 --> 00:02:47.539 the Apostle Paul outlines a number of ways that 00:02:47.539 --> 00:02:50.840 they did it and we do it as well. I highlighted 00:02:50.840 --> 00:02:54.219 a few. We seek acceptance and belonging. That's 00:02:54.219 --> 00:02:57.180 a good thing, right? By forming cliques and criticizing 00:02:57.180 --> 00:03:00.520 and excluding others. And that causes division. 00:03:00.800 --> 00:03:02.379 That's a bad thing. That happened in chapter 00:03:02.379 --> 00:03:06.509 3. We seek connection and intimacy. Through illicit 00:03:06.509 --> 00:03:08.949 sex, pornography, and emotional affairs that 00:03:08.949 --> 00:03:12.430 destroy marriages and ruin families. That happens 00:03:12.430 --> 00:03:15.789 today. That happened in chapter 5. We seek security 00:03:15.789 --> 00:03:18.810 and significance and destroy relationships by 00:03:18.810 --> 00:03:21.270 our greed. That happened to this group in chapter 00:03:21.270 --> 00:03:24.870 6. We seek to protect God's holiness. Obviously 00:03:24.870 --> 00:03:28.430 a good thing. But by misguidedly judging others' 00:03:28.590 --> 00:03:31.469 motives and differences, resulting in disunity 00:03:31.469 --> 00:03:34.030 and broken relationships. That's a bad thing. 00:03:34.490 --> 00:03:37.629 That happened in chapter 8. We seek legitimate, 00:03:37.750 --> 00:03:41.830 godly pleasures with no consideration for those 00:03:41.830 --> 00:03:44.789 who are weaker in faith. And we allow our freedom 00:03:44.789 --> 00:03:48.729 to destroy their relationship with Christ. That's 00:03:48.729 --> 00:03:51.870 a bad thing. But the legitimate pleasures, God, 00:03:52.050 --> 00:03:55.930 there's nothing wrong with those. It reminded 00:03:55.930 --> 00:03:58.750 me of an old song. So many times our gravest 00:03:58.750 --> 00:04:03.430 failures are attempts to look for love. in all 00:04:03.430 --> 00:04:07.250 the wrong places. Looking for love in all the 00:04:07.250 --> 00:04:10.229 wrong places. Is that how you like that twang? 00:04:11.090 --> 00:04:14.550 Looking for love in so many faces and looking 00:04:14.550 --> 00:04:16.649 for love. I'll never make it as a country singer. 00:04:17.449 --> 00:04:20.009 You listen to the lyrics of that song. In fact, 00:04:20.050 --> 00:04:22.709 Johnny Lee, the story of that song is very interesting. 00:04:22.870 --> 00:04:26.100 He said it described his life. His life was totally 00:04:26.100 --> 00:04:29.879 messed up, but his desire was for a good thing. 00:04:30.040 --> 00:04:32.480 He really wanted to be loved and be connected 00:04:32.480 --> 00:04:35.399 and have intimacy and life and purpose, but he 00:04:35.399 --> 00:04:38.660 went about it in ways that destroyed his relationship 00:04:38.660 --> 00:04:41.180 with himself. He hurt other people and certainly 00:04:41.180 --> 00:04:43.120 violated more than a handful of God's commands. 00:04:43.759 --> 00:04:49.160 Here's what you need to understand. When you 00:04:49.160 --> 00:04:55.079 try to find good things in a bad way, You will 00:04:55.079 --> 00:04:58.519 hurt other people. You will hurt yourself and 00:04:58.519 --> 00:05:01.720 you'll miss God's best. And so we talked about 00:05:01.720 --> 00:05:04.800 how do we learn to really love in real time? 00:05:05.060 --> 00:05:07.300 Not a theory, not coming to church and you ought 00:05:07.300 --> 00:05:09.100 to love more, you ought to be more kind, but 00:05:09.100 --> 00:05:11.800 how specifically. And so the apostle Paul, right 00:05:11.800 --> 00:05:14.860 into a group, much like I think high capacity, 00:05:14.980 --> 00:05:19.250 high gifts, strategically located. And so what 00:05:19.250 --> 00:05:21.870 we learned is in situation number one, how does 00:05:21.870 --> 00:05:24.790 love respond to hurt? And in verse four, it said, 00:05:24.850 --> 00:05:27.069 love is patient, love is kind. That was the truth. 00:05:28.029 --> 00:05:30.649 But then the practice was when you're hurt or 00:05:30.649 --> 00:05:34.189 wounded or rejected or ignored, love absorbs 00:05:34.189 --> 00:05:36.930 the blow, remember the pillow, and returns a 00:05:36.930 --> 00:05:42.790 hug. So let me ask you, did anybody, and I'm 00:05:42.790 --> 00:05:44.509 speaking mostly the person who's sitting in your 00:05:44.509 --> 00:05:48.959 seat, have an opportunity to be hurt, wounded, 00:05:49.139 --> 00:05:52.540 rejected. Someone dissed you just a little and 00:05:52.540 --> 00:05:57.019 you said, oh, I could diss them back or I could, 00:05:57.079 --> 00:05:59.060 you know what? I'm going to absorb the blow. 00:05:59.500 --> 00:06:03.360 I'm going to respond in a positive way. See, 00:06:03.439 --> 00:06:06.139 as you begin to practice that, you know what 00:06:06.139 --> 00:06:09.560 that's called? That's biblical love. That's loving 00:06:09.560 --> 00:06:15.040 people the way Jesus loves people. The second 00:06:15.040 --> 00:06:17.079 situation is how do we respond to differences? 00:06:17.420 --> 00:06:20.360 There's all kinds of differences. Love doesn't 00:06:20.360 --> 00:06:23.259 envy. It doesn't boast. It's not rude. It's not 00:06:23.259 --> 00:06:26.680 self -seeking. It's not easily angered. It keeps 00:06:26.680 --> 00:06:30.079 no record of wrongs. And so the practice is love 00:06:30.079 --> 00:06:34.319 celebrates differences. Remember, the principle 00:06:34.319 --> 00:06:38.560 was love refuses to compare. It refuses to compare 00:06:38.560 --> 00:06:42.269 upward and feel. Envy, it refuses to compare 00:06:42.269 --> 00:06:46.550 downward and be arrogant. When you begin to practice 00:06:46.550 --> 00:06:50.290 that, you eliminate envy, you eliminate arrogance, 00:06:50.470 --> 00:06:53.990 and you start loving people the way Jesus loves 00:06:53.990 --> 00:06:56.350 them. The third situation is today, and we're 00:06:56.350 --> 00:06:58.449 going to talk about how does love respond to 00:06:58.449 --> 00:07:02.029 failure? I mean, we agreed that we all fail, 00:07:02.129 --> 00:07:05.100 and that means that... The people closest to 00:07:05.100 --> 00:07:06.939 you, whether it's a roommate or whether it's 00:07:06.939 --> 00:07:09.180 a wife or a husband or a son or a daughter or 00:07:09.180 --> 00:07:11.699 a mom or a dad or people at work or people in 00:07:11.699 --> 00:07:13.139 a small group or people in your neighborhood, 00:07:13.360 --> 00:07:15.279 they're going to fail. You're going to get a 00:07:15.279 --> 00:07:17.759 lot of chance to respond to other people's failures. 00:07:18.579 --> 00:07:21.779 And as you listen to this, know that this is 00:07:21.779 --> 00:07:24.000 how we're to respond to other people's failures, 00:07:24.079 --> 00:07:27.639 to be loving, to maximize love. But in the back 00:07:27.639 --> 00:07:29.060 of your mind, I want you to remember this is 00:07:29.060 --> 00:07:33.850 exactly how God responds to your failure. Everything 00:07:33.850 --> 00:07:36.829 we're going to cover, this is how the heart of 00:07:36.829 --> 00:07:40.310 the living creator of the universe responds to 00:07:40.310 --> 00:07:42.670 your failure. Because the more you can get it 00:07:42.670 --> 00:07:45.189 vertically, the more you'll begin to be able 00:07:45.189 --> 00:07:48.750 to give it horizontally. And so the truth is 00:07:48.750 --> 00:07:51.370 love does not delight in evil but rejoices with 00:07:51.370 --> 00:07:54.529 the truth. It always protects. It always trusts. 00:07:54.689 --> 00:07:57.670 It always hopes. It always perseveres. Summary, 00:07:57.750 --> 00:08:02.079 love never fails. And so the practice is love 00:08:02.079 --> 00:08:06.579 responds to failure with truth and grace. Underline 00:08:06.579 --> 00:08:08.819 in your notes truth and underline the word grace. 00:08:09.939 --> 00:08:14.439 Love, real love, demands truth. Love and truth 00:08:14.439 --> 00:08:18.319 are inseparable. If there is, quote, you think 00:08:18.319 --> 00:08:21.000 you have love, but there's no truth, it's just 00:08:21.000 --> 00:08:25.620 mushy. sentimentalism. It's just gushy feelings. 00:08:25.779 --> 00:08:28.379 And we have come to believe because of media 00:08:28.379 --> 00:08:30.899 and, you know, all the books and all the romance 00:08:30.899 --> 00:08:35.779 novels, we think love is just this ooey, gooey 00:08:35.779 --> 00:08:39.779 feeling that we're connected. I mean, we may 00:08:39.779 --> 00:08:41.679 be in complete denial, but I feel good about 00:08:41.679 --> 00:08:44.120 you and you feel good about me. And so we must 00:08:44.120 --> 00:08:49.480 be loving. No, maybe you're just on drugs. You 00:08:49.480 --> 00:08:52.820 know, having a good feeling about another person 00:08:52.820 --> 00:08:55.600 when there's major issues that are unaddressed, 00:08:55.740 --> 00:08:58.240 when there's behaviors and addictions and issues 00:08:58.240 --> 00:09:00.299 that are bringing about fallout, when you're 00:09:00.299 --> 00:09:02.240 doing things to one another that's destroying 00:09:02.240 --> 00:09:07.659 long -term relationship, that's not love. Having 00:09:07.659 --> 00:09:10.139 a good feeling about someone is a nice thing. 00:09:10.440 --> 00:09:13.779 Biblical love demands truth. It says love doesn't 00:09:13.779 --> 00:09:18.440 rejoice or find joy. or satisfaction in evil, 00:09:18.559 --> 00:09:20.220 things that are unrighteous, things that are 00:09:20.220 --> 00:09:23.340 wrong, things that are the opposite of the way 00:09:23.340 --> 00:09:25.860 God wants people to live, but it delights in 00:09:25.860 --> 00:09:29.940 and finds great joy in the truth. Love refuses 00:09:29.940 --> 00:09:33.639 to find joy in another's sin, misfortune, or 00:09:33.639 --> 00:09:37.580 dysfunction, or pain. I jotted a note to myself. 00:09:37.659 --> 00:09:41.990 We have a perverted attraction. A perverted attraction 00:09:41.990 --> 00:09:45.730 to the misfortune, addictions, and problems of 00:09:45.730 --> 00:09:48.669 others. I don't know. I mean, I guess it's just 00:09:48.669 --> 00:09:53.750 being fallen. But we like to watch other people 00:09:53.750 --> 00:09:58.129 mess up. We like to hear about how badly they 00:09:58.129 --> 00:10:01.549 mess up. We like to watch and listen and view 00:10:01.549 --> 00:10:04.929 people making fools of themselves and then laugh 00:10:04.929 --> 00:10:07.769 on our couches as they do it. It's called reality 00:10:07.769 --> 00:10:11.029 TV. I mean, think of this. We all live in this 00:10:11.029 --> 00:10:13.870 house. She hates him. I heard you last night. 00:10:14.070 --> 00:10:16.330 And then the camera comes. I tell you, I think 00:10:16.330 --> 00:10:18.029 she's a, and I don't think she ever did. I'm 00:10:18.029 --> 00:10:19.490 not going to kick out of this house, you know. 00:10:19.909 --> 00:10:23.409 I mean, it's just like, it's not like stories 00:10:23.409 --> 00:10:26.570 of. We would like to bring you an exciting story 00:10:26.570 --> 00:10:29.529 of a major star who has now done amazing things 00:10:29.529 --> 00:10:31.570 for the inner city children and those who are 00:10:31.570 --> 00:10:33.529 helping orphans in Africa. I mean, for every 00:10:33.529 --> 00:10:35.850 one of those, you get 100. Lindsay's in jail 00:10:35.850 --> 00:10:38.730 again. Will she get out? Who knows? Did you see 00:10:38.730 --> 00:10:43.110 someone? I mean, it's just a proliferation of 00:10:43.110 --> 00:10:48.769 evil and misfortune and addiction and pain. And 00:10:48.769 --> 00:10:51.909 very subtly, you're filling your mind with it. 00:10:54.090 --> 00:10:57.990 And it is the culture and is the absolute opposite 00:10:57.990 --> 00:11:03.149 of love. When I'm finding delight in things that 00:11:03.149 --> 00:11:06.769 violate what brings health and life and restoration, 00:11:07.090 --> 00:11:12.049 I'm setting myself up for dysfunctional, painful, 00:11:12.190 --> 00:11:16.769 negative relationships. Love doesn't rejoice 00:11:16.769 --> 00:11:20.330 in evil. In fact, I mean, think about this is 00:11:20.330 --> 00:11:22.610 really fun. Do you see that movie? Yeah. Everybody 00:11:22.610 --> 00:11:25.370 got blown up. Boom, boom, boom, bam, bam. And 00:11:25.370 --> 00:11:27.509 did you see it? It was in slow -mo. Boom, boom, 00:11:27.570 --> 00:11:32.330 boom. The Teflon bullet. That was a great movie. 00:11:35.330 --> 00:11:40.490 Yeah. The sanctity of life and the value of human 00:11:40.490 --> 00:11:45.230 life is the highest thing the scripture and the 00:11:45.230 --> 00:11:49.409 God who created life esteems. And we trivialize 00:11:49.409 --> 00:11:52.120 it with our thumbs. killing imaginary people 00:11:52.120 --> 00:11:55.840 over and over and over and over again until when 00:11:55.840 --> 00:12:00.139 real ones die, we get anesthetized to the impact. 00:12:01.340 --> 00:12:07.500 Love rejoices in the truth. Real love's response 00:12:07.500 --> 00:12:14.279 always has truth and grace. If it's all truth 00:12:14.279 --> 00:12:19.649 and no grace, It's a rigid, legalistic self -righteousness. 00:12:19.690 --> 00:12:23.970 If it's all grace and no truth, it's just mushy, 00:12:24.029 --> 00:12:28.090 sentimental emotionalism. And so after giving 00:12:28.090 --> 00:12:31.169 us sort of the overarching principle that love 00:12:31.169 --> 00:12:35.470 demands truth and rejoices in truth and not evil, 00:12:35.649 --> 00:12:38.409 then he's going to give us four specific ways 00:12:38.409 --> 00:12:42.669 to respond to the failures of one another. He's 00:12:42.669 --> 00:12:45.789 going to give four clear words that say, When 00:12:45.789 --> 00:12:49.190 someone you love that lives under your roof or 00:12:49.190 --> 00:12:52.289 is a close friend or you work with, when they 00:12:52.289 --> 00:12:55.889 fail because they will fail, this is how you 00:12:55.889 --> 00:12:59.429 respond if you love them. Are you ready? He's 00:12:59.429 --> 00:13:02.289 going to talk to us about bearing all things, 00:13:02.409 --> 00:13:07.110 believing all things, hoping all things, and 00:13:07.110 --> 00:13:08.830 then he's going to go on and talk about how we 00:13:08.830 --> 00:13:12.029 endure all things. Bears all things. The word 00:13:12.029 --> 00:13:14.529 occurs four times in the New Testament. Literally 00:13:14.529 --> 00:13:16.990 means you can jot in your notes to cover. It 00:13:16.990 --> 00:13:19.710 means to suffer or forbear. It's to protect by 00:13:19.710 --> 00:13:22.330 covering something, to cover something with silence. 00:13:22.610 --> 00:13:26.129 It has the idea of keeping a confidence, to hide, 00:13:26.210 --> 00:13:29.809 listen, to hide or conceal the errors and faults 00:13:29.809 --> 00:13:32.649 of others. Now, this doesn't mean you bury it. 00:13:32.929 --> 00:13:36.070 This doesn't mean you're in denial. But here's 00:13:36.070 --> 00:13:39.830 the issue. We all long for someone to love me 00:13:39.830 --> 00:13:43.659 enough. to cut to the core, to expose the fault, 00:13:43.740 --> 00:13:47.019 the weakness, or the sin, and help me deal with 00:13:47.019 --> 00:13:50.299 it and grow from it. And then after dealing with 00:13:50.299 --> 00:13:54.019 it in truth, provide grace and allow me to grow 00:13:54.019 --> 00:13:56.559 and help me take the next step, and then they 00:13:56.559 --> 00:14:00.179 cover it. And they don't exploit me. And they 00:14:00.179 --> 00:14:03.419 don't pass it on. And if you're married or you're 00:14:03.419 --> 00:14:06.240 a parent, you don't joke about it later. It's 00:14:06.240 --> 00:14:12.820 covered. It's gone. It's not broadcast. You bear 00:14:12.820 --> 00:14:18.539 with them. You face it. You deal with it. You 00:14:18.539 --> 00:14:23.000 love them. And then you cover it. You're listening 00:14:23.000 --> 00:14:25.879 to Living on the Edge. Chip will be back in just 00:14:25.879 --> 00:14:28.399 a minute to finish today's talk. But quickly, 00:14:28.500 --> 00:14:30.740 this program is only possible because of the 00:14:30.740 --> 00:14:33.879 generosity of listeners like you. Consider supporting 00:14:33.879 --> 00:14:36.919 us today by becoming a monthly partner. Learn 00:14:36.919 --> 00:14:40.440 more by going to livingontheedge .org. That's 00:14:40.440 --> 00:14:44.379 livingontheedge .org. And thanks for doing whatever 00:14:44.379 --> 00:14:47.820 God leads you to do. Let's rejoin Chip now for 00:14:47.820 --> 00:14:50.879 the remainder of his message. Negatively, when 00:14:50.879 --> 00:14:53.100 I delight in passing on the faults of another, 00:14:53.299 --> 00:14:56.200 when I seek to feel important because I have 00:14:56.200 --> 00:14:59.399 inside information or feel powerful or superior 00:14:59.399 --> 00:15:01.799 because someone else has sinned and I love to 00:15:01.799 --> 00:15:04.480 tell other people or just pass on a little email 00:15:04.480 --> 00:15:07.200 that says, you know, did you, are you aware of, 00:15:07.399 --> 00:15:12.919 often in the form of prayer request? Listen carefully. 00:15:13.220 --> 00:15:22.620 That is not loving. Love bears all things. Jesus 00:15:22.620 --> 00:15:25.500 pictures this very clearly. Remember the woman 00:15:25.500 --> 00:15:27.940 caught in adultery? They're trying to trap Jesus. 00:15:28.419 --> 00:15:30.940 And the law talks about adultery, you'd be stoned, 00:15:30.960 --> 00:15:32.960 and it wasn't practiced very often. So they're 00:15:32.960 --> 00:15:34.360 thinking, we're gonna get him on the hot spot. 00:15:34.480 --> 00:15:36.639 So over here, we found this woman caught in the 00:15:36.639 --> 00:15:38.539 very act, and they drag her out of the house, 00:15:38.639 --> 00:15:41.179 and they plop her right in front of Jesus. Okay, 00:15:41.360 --> 00:15:42.779 what are you gonna do with that? We caught her 00:15:42.779 --> 00:15:45.919 in the very act of adultery. And Jesus, as they're 00:15:45.919 --> 00:15:48.399 talking, he goes over and starts to, kind of 00:15:48.399 --> 00:15:51.340 write in the dirt. You know, the text doesn't 00:15:51.340 --> 00:15:53.600 say what he writes, but I think, now this is 00:15:53.600 --> 00:15:55.639 the Chip Ingram theory, not to be confused at 00:15:55.639 --> 00:15:59.159 all with fact. I think he wrote in the sand, 00:15:59.399 --> 00:16:06.399 where is the man? Question mark. See, if you 00:16:06.399 --> 00:16:09.360 were really concerned about the law, if you were 00:16:09.360 --> 00:16:12.000 concerned about righteousness, you wouldn't have 00:16:12.000 --> 00:16:15.580 brought one person caught in adultery. Last time 00:16:15.580 --> 00:16:19.419 I heard, sex usually takes two. So where are 00:16:19.419 --> 00:16:23.019 both of them? And by doing that, he exposed their 00:16:23.019 --> 00:16:29.360 hypocrisy. And so then he says, whoever has never 00:16:29.360 --> 00:16:31.379 sinned, tell you what, you pick up the stones 00:16:31.379 --> 00:16:34.580 and you start. And the older people, wiser, realize 00:16:34.580 --> 00:16:36.480 they've been exposed and they leave. And one 00:16:36.480 --> 00:16:38.139 by one, everyone leaves. And here's a woman. 00:16:38.820 --> 00:16:43.279 He says, does no one condemn you? No, Lord. Neither 00:16:43.279 --> 00:16:50.750 do I. Go and sin no more. Did he act like it 00:16:50.750 --> 00:16:53.929 wasn't an issue? Did he say the sin wasn't important? 00:16:54.830 --> 00:16:59.110 The sin was dealt with and then he covered it. 00:16:59.649 --> 00:17:05.650 Who in your relational world needs you to help 00:17:05.650 --> 00:17:10.549 them deal with a failure and then cover it? Who 00:17:10.549 --> 00:17:15.890 needs to not hear ever again in your family jokes? 00:17:16.539 --> 00:17:20.220 or sarcasm, or little innuendos about a fault 00:17:20.220 --> 00:17:23.059 that occurs on a regular basis. And instead, 00:17:23.240 --> 00:17:26.519 I love you. I'm with you. Let's deal with this. 00:17:26.960 --> 00:17:29.400 And then I'm going to cover it. I don't talk 00:17:29.400 --> 00:17:31.619 about it to my friends. I won't bring it up to 00:17:31.619 --> 00:17:35.680 you. I'm going to cover it. That's how you respond 00:17:35.680 --> 00:17:38.279 in love to people's failures. The second way 00:17:38.279 --> 00:17:41.839 you respond is believing all things. The word 00:17:41.839 --> 00:17:45.730 believes. New Testament is 239 times. It has 00:17:45.730 --> 00:17:49.529 the idea to believe or to entrust, to commit. 00:17:50.170 --> 00:17:54.309 Here it has the idea of to credit or have confidence 00:17:54.309 --> 00:18:00.809 in another person. It's not naive. It's not that 00:18:00.809 --> 00:18:02.869 you believe or you're gullible in whatever someone 00:18:02.869 --> 00:18:04.750 says. Oh, I believe, you know, whatever you say. 00:18:04.829 --> 00:18:07.329 I mean, you lied 44 times, but I believe anyway. 00:18:07.490 --> 00:18:10.950 No, no, no, no. This is a belief that is discerning, 00:18:10.950 --> 00:18:15.569 insightful. But it's not suspicious and judgmental, 00:18:15.569 --> 00:18:18.349 and it doesn't assume the worst. The picture 00:18:18.349 --> 00:18:21.769 for me that what this means is when you hear 00:18:21.769 --> 00:18:25.349 something about someone or you observe a circumstance, 00:18:25.750 --> 00:18:29.710 and maybe the circumstances kind of look a little 00:18:29.710 --> 00:18:33.450 negative, but you don't know for sure, you believe 00:18:33.450 --> 00:18:37.789 or assume the best. you in your mind make a willful 00:18:37.789 --> 00:18:40.250 choice and you see this circumstance or you hear 00:18:40.250 --> 00:18:42.890 this about a person and you say, that sure doesn't 00:18:42.890 --> 00:18:45.369 seem to be the kind of person I know, but someone 00:18:45.369 --> 00:18:48.609 said he or she did this or he or she was with 00:18:48.609 --> 00:18:52.150 someone or he... Then what you do is you step 00:18:52.150 --> 00:18:55.390 back and love says, I'm going to create in my 00:18:55.390 --> 00:18:58.809 mind's eye the best explanation for this that 00:18:58.809 --> 00:19:00.670 puts this person in a positive light because 00:19:00.670 --> 00:19:03.730 I don't know all the issues. I was in a pretty 00:19:03.730 --> 00:19:06.200 important meeting. and a person was supposed 00:19:06.200 --> 00:19:08.839 to be there that works with me. And so everyone 00:19:08.839 --> 00:19:10.700 was around the table, and the agenda was starting, 00:19:10.799 --> 00:19:12.400 and someone said, where's so -and -so? I said, 00:19:12.420 --> 00:19:14.220 well, I don't know. Well, is he supposed to be 00:19:14.220 --> 00:19:19.640 here? Well, yeah. And, you know, so you know 00:19:19.640 --> 00:19:22.440 where your mind can go. Well, gosh, I mean, is 00:19:22.440 --> 00:19:24.700 he blowing off this meeting? Is he late? You 00:19:24.700 --> 00:19:26.880 know, all the... And I remember just having this 00:19:26.880 --> 00:19:29.400 passage in my mind, and I remember just willfully 00:19:29.400 --> 00:19:33.160 going, you know what? The character of this man 00:19:33.160 --> 00:19:36.390 I know is... He had a flat tire. Maybe his wife 00:19:36.390 --> 00:19:38.730 is sick. Maybe one of his kids have an issue. 00:19:39.029 --> 00:19:41.490 Maybe God showed him something that is way more 00:19:41.490 --> 00:19:43.750 important than this meeting, and he's doing that 00:19:43.750 --> 00:19:47.269 and obeying God instead of being here. You see 00:19:47.269 --> 00:19:52.069 it? You create a scenario that puts them in the 00:19:52.069 --> 00:19:55.069 best light. And what happens, especially if you're 00:19:55.069 --> 00:19:58.230 a parent or if you've got a roommate, once they 00:19:58.230 --> 00:20:00.509 do this once and they do it twice and they do 00:20:00.509 --> 00:20:02.690 it three times, when they do anything near that, 00:20:02.789 --> 00:20:05.009 what do you start believing? He'll never change. 00:20:05.230 --> 00:20:07.589 She's doing the same old thing. Oh man, I can't 00:20:07.589 --> 00:20:12.369 believe it. Instead of, wait a second. Don't 00:20:12.369 --> 00:20:19.049 assume the worst. Love believes the best. And 00:20:19.049 --> 00:20:23.230 then you check it out and you deal with it. The 00:20:23.230 --> 00:20:27.730 practice is everyone needs someone who will believe 00:20:27.730 --> 00:20:31.369 in them. Everyone needs someone who says, you 00:20:31.369 --> 00:20:33.309 know, that fault, that sin, that weakness, that 00:20:33.309 --> 00:20:36.869 circumstance, it can't define you. You're God's 00:20:36.869 --> 00:20:39.109 child. You're valued. You're loved. You're gifted. 00:20:40.329 --> 00:20:43.309 And I believe, okay, you really messed up, all 00:20:43.309 --> 00:20:45.849 right? We understand that. But I believe in you. 00:20:48.349 --> 00:20:51.730 Snapshot from Jesus' life. It's in the hot part 00:20:51.730 --> 00:20:54.970 of the day. It's the part when everyone's taking 00:20:54.970 --> 00:20:57.660 a little siesta. The righteous women have come 00:20:57.660 --> 00:20:59.859 out early in the cool of the day, but it's John 00:20:59.859 --> 00:21:01.559 chapter four. And here's a woman in the hot part 00:21:01.559 --> 00:21:03.519 of the day getting water. And it's because she's 00:21:03.519 --> 00:21:05.740 an immoral woman and she's rejected by society. 00:21:06.579 --> 00:21:08.579 And she's been looking for love in all the wrong 00:21:08.579 --> 00:21:12.299 places. And Jesus is there and he asked for a 00:21:12.299 --> 00:21:14.059 drink and she can't believe that a Jew would 00:21:14.059 --> 00:21:17.279 ask a woman or a Jew would ask someone from her 00:21:17.279 --> 00:21:19.599 Samaritan background. And they get into this 00:21:19.599 --> 00:21:22.720 conversation. And so Jesus loving people always 00:21:22.720 --> 00:21:28.750 his truth and Grace. And so he says, so where's 00:21:28.750 --> 00:21:30.730 your husband? And she goes, well, I don't have 00:21:30.730 --> 00:21:34.150 a husband, which was honest because she's living 00:21:34.150 --> 00:21:36.750 with this guy. She's had five husbands. And Jesus 00:21:36.750 --> 00:21:39.230 informs her that he knows that. And she goes, 00:21:39.349 --> 00:21:42.049 well, you must be a prophet. And they get into 00:21:42.049 --> 00:21:44.430 this conversation about life and the meaning, 00:21:44.529 --> 00:21:47.910 and how do you satisfy your soul? She was desperately 00:21:47.910 --> 00:21:50.970 trying to satisfy her soul, and man after man 00:21:50.970 --> 00:21:53.390 after man, and illicit sex wasn't delivering. 00:21:53.609 --> 00:21:56.150 And Jesus knew that. She was trying to get a 00:21:56.150 --> 00:21:58.170 good thing in a bad way, and he wanted to give 00:21:58.170 --> 00:22:02.440 her life. And so we talked about a heavenly father 00:22:02.440 --> 00:22:06.079 that pursues people, even immoral people, even 00:22:06.079 --> 00:22:08.400 failure people, even people that have done really 00:22:08.400 --> 00:22:10.799 big and bad things over a long period of time. 00:22:10.880 --> 00:22:14.259 And she discovers someone cares and believes 00:22:14.259 --> 00:22:16.720 in her. And here's a woman that didn't want to 00:22:16.720 --> 00:22:19.200 be seen. And she ends up going back into the 00:22:19.200 --> 00:22:21.819 town saying, hey, someone who knows everything 00:22:21.819 --> 00:22:24.380 about me, I think he's the Messiah. And she leads 00:22:24.380 --> 00:22:26.819 an entire town and hundreds of people come to 00:22:26.819 --> 00:22:31.180 Christ because someone believed that her past 00:22:31.180 --> 00:22:38.900 could not mark her future forever. This is Living 00:22:38.900 --> 00:22:41.460 on the Edge with Chip Ingram, and you've been 00:22:41.460 --> 00:22:43.480 listening to part one of Chip's message, Looking 00:22:43.480 --> 00:22:46.500 for Love in All the Wrong Places, from our series, 00:22:46.680 --> 00:22:49.599 Spiritual Simplicity. Chip will be back shortly 00:22:49.599 --> 00:22:51.980 to share some helpful application for us to think 00:22:51.980 --> 00:22:54.460 about. Have you ever felt like there's never 00:22:54.460 --> 00:22:57.000 enough time in the day for yourself, the people 00:22:57.000 --> 00:23:00.259 you love, even God? If you can relate, don't 00:23:00.259 --> 00:23:02.799 miss this series. Chip's going to challenge the 00:23:02.799 --> 00:23:05.619 unrealistic standards and expectations we all 00:23:05.619 --> 00:23:08.519 feel pressured by. Join us as we learn how to 00:23:08.519 --> 00:23:11.259 break free from this demanding cycle and discover 00:23:11.259 --> 00:23:13.799 the simpler, more fulfilling life God has in 00:23:13.799 --> 00:23:16.460 store for us. I hope you'll be with us for every 00:23:16.460 --> 00:23:19.019 part of this study. Well, Chip, I know you've 00:23:19.019 --> 00:23:21.599 got a powerful application to share, but before 00:23:21.599 --> 00:23:23.500 we get there, you know, it's been a while since 00:23:23.500 --> 00:23:25.720 you've explained why we ask our listeners to 00:23:25.720 --> 00:23:28.390 support Living on the Edge financially. Could 00:23:28.390 --> 00:23:30.829 you take a minute and talk about that? Well, 00:23:30.930 --> 00:23:34.329 first of all, ministry is always an issue of 00:23:34.329 --> 00:23:37.950 the heart. And Jesus says that wherever our treasure 00:23:37.950 --> 00:23:40.269 is, that is where our heart will be. The Bible 00:23:40.269 --> 00:23:43.670 also commands us. to be generous and open and 00:23:43.670 --> 00:23:46.349 free. And everything that I have, everyone listening 00:23:46.349 --> 00:23:48.569 to my voice right now, everything they have, 00:23:48.690 --> 00:23:52.130 God has entrusted that to them. The second is 00:23:52.130 --> 00:23:54.390 the Bible's really clear not only that we should 00:23:54.390 --> 00:23:56.849 be generous, but where we should be generous. 00:23:57.089 --> 00:23:59.809 I personally believe that your first commitment 00:23:59.809 --> 00:24:02.049 is to your local church. But then there's that 00:24:02.049 --> 00:24:04.630 opportunity to give over and above that first 00:24:04.630 --> 00:24:07.650 portion and to express love because God says 00:24:07.650 --> 00:24:09.829 wherever you're spiritually ministered unto. 00:24:10.109 --> 00:24:12.069 In fact, the Apostle Paul Paul would say to a 00:24:12.069 --> 00:24:14.990 group of Christians, I ministered spiritually 00:24:14.990 --> 00:24:18.049 to you. And he actually went so far to say is 00:24:18.049 --> 00:24:21.609 you have a financial obligation to minister back 00:24:21.609 --> 00:24:24.549 to me. And in his situation, it wasn't like for 00:24:24.549 --> 00:24:27.369 airtime. I guess it was maybe donkey time or, 00:24:27.369 --> 00:24:30.450 you know, I need some new parchments or I need 00:24:30.450 --> 00:24:32.670 your financial resources to get on that ship 00:24:32.670 --> 00:24:35.049 to go from Corinth to Ephesus. And it's just 00:24:35.049 --> 00:24:36.970 the same here. You know, if you get ministered 00:24:36.970 --> 00:24:39.509 unto, one of the ways that you not only say thank 00:24:39.509 --> 00:24:42.309 you, but then you generously pass it on to others. 00:24:42.559 --> 00:24:45.259 is to support that ministry that's ministering 00:24:45.259 --> 00:24:47.920 to you. So that's kind of biblically why we do 00:24:47.920 --> 00:24:50.720 it. And, you know, there's just the reality of 00:24:50.720 --> 00:24:53.559 need, and it's a partnership and a team. And 00:24:53.559 --> 00:24:56.000 people are generous. I mean, I'm thrilled. I'm 00:24:56.000 --> 00:24:58.819 very excited about how they do give. And so I 00:24:58.819 --> 00:25:01.099 want to say, if you haven't, you can get in on 00:25:01.099 --> 00:25:04.119 this. And if you have, thank you very much. Thanks, 00:25:04.140 --> 00:25:06.619 Chip. If partnering with Living on the Edge is 00:25:06.619 --> 00:25:09.019 an idea that makes sense to you, we'd love to 00:25:09.019 --> 00:25:11.960 have you join us. We believe encouraging Christians 00:25:11.960 --> 00:25:14.259 to live like Christians will radically change 00:25:14.259 --> 00:25:18.140 the world we live in. To send a gift, go to livingontheedge 00:25:18.140 --> 00:25:24.339 .org or call us at 888 -333 -6003. That's 888 00:25:24.339 --> 00:25:30.900 -333 -6003 or go to livingontheedge .org. App 00:25:30.900 --> 00:25:33.400 listeners, tap donate. Well, with that, here 00:25:33.400 --> 00:25:37.220 again is Chip. As we close today's program, let's 00:25:37.220 --> 00:25:39.319 talk about those final two points. You know, 00:25:39.339 --> 00:25:41.859 Paul says, inspired by the Holy Spirit, love 00:25:41.859 --> 00:25:44.640 bears all things and it believes all things. 00:25:44.759 --> 00:25:47.019 And to bear all things, literally we said, it 00:25:47.019 --> 00:25:50.559 means to cover, not to bury, not to deny. Not 00:25:50.559 --> 00:25:53.279 to enable, but it means you really cover it. 00:25:53.279 --> 00:25:56.279 Love covers a multitude of sins. And I think 00:25:56.279 --> 00:25:59.200 what gets difficult here is when am I covering 00:25:59.200 --> 00:26:02.180 and saying, I forgive. I'm not going to hold 00:26:02.180 --> 00:26:04.859 this against a person. I'm going to really release 00:26:04.859 --> 00:26:07.380 them from maybe the pain or the wound that they've 00:26:07.380 --> 00:26:10.430 inflicted on me or someone else. And when is 00:26:10.430 --> 00:26:13.789 it just sort of this pseudo mercy where you don't 00:26:13.789 --> 00:26:15.809 really want to deal with it? And so you keep 00:26:15.809 --> 00:26:19.289 enabling and enabling and enabling and you don't 00:26:19.289 --> 00:26:21.509 confront. And I just want to make sure as we 00:26:21.509 --> 00:26:24.230 talk about covering or this bearing the burden 00:26:24.230 --> 00:26:28.049 that covers sin, that it's not enabling. It's 00:26:28.049 --> 00:26:31.009 not just denying that it's really there and pretending. 00:26:31.190 --> 00:26:33.869 And so I want you to think right now is who is 00:26:33.869 --> 00:26:37.109 someone who's blown it? that God is speaking 00:26:37.109 --> 00:26:39.910 to you about covering it. And part of covering 00:26:39.910 --> 00:26:42.349 it is you don't share it with someone else. You 00:26:42.349 --> 00:26:45.109 know, the opposite of covering is exposing. And 00:26:45.109 --> 00:26:47.789 so often when we've been hurt, there's a side 00:26:47.789 --> 00:26:50.930 conversation or we share the experience and we 00:26:50.930 --> 00:26:53.390 always share the experience or we tend to, like 00:26:53.390 --> 00:26:55.289 we're the victim and they're the bad person. 00:26:55.309 --> 00:26:57.630 They did all these things. And we're sort of 00:26:57.630 --> 00:27:00.089 asking, will you help me? Because I'm struggling. 00:27:00.329 --> 00:27:03.690 But we phrase it and say it often in ways that 00:27:03.690 --> 00:27:06.210 really puts the other person in a bad light. 00:27:06.470 --> 00:27:09.690 And there's such disunity in the body of Christ. 00:27:09.849 --> 00:27:12.410 And there's so many small groups and ministries 00:27:12.410 --> 00:27:15.170 and churches where it's just a lack of love. 00:27:15.450 --> 00:27:18.960 And love... bears all things. I think the second 00:27:18.960 --> 00:27:21.759 part ties into it. Believing all things means 00:27:21.759 --> 00:27:24.180 that you don't judge their motives. And so, you 00:27:24.180 --> 00:27:26.700 know, when someone has hurt you or you have an 00:27:26.700 --> 00:27:29.220 opinion you've created about someone, it is so 00:27:29.220 --> 00:27:32.099 easy to think that you know why they did what 00:27:32.099 --> 00:27:34.500 they did. And I just want to remind you today 00:27:34.500 --> 00:27:37.480 that what did we learn? What would be the best 00:27:37.480 --> 00:27:40.460 possible solution that you could make up in your 00:27:40.460 --> 00:27:43.299 mind for someone's behavior that wouldn't judge 00:27:43.299 --> 00:27:46.769 their motives? So love. bears all things. It 00:27:46.769 --> 00:27:50.109 believes all things. That is a powerful, powerful 00:27:50.109 --> 00:27:53.569 way to help the people that you love. Good challenge. 00:27:53.990 --> 00:27:56.269 Hey, as we close, are you looking to get even 00:27:56.269 --> 00:27:58.670 more plugged in with Living on the Edge and our 00:27:58.670 --> 00:28:01.109 resources? Then let me encourage you to check 00:28:01.109 --> 00:28:03.849 out the Chip Ingram app. You can listen to our 00:28:03.849 --> 00:28:06.930 most recent series, sign up for daily discipleship, 00:28:06.930 --> 00:28:09.430 and more. We want to help you grow in your walk 00:28:09.430 --> 00:28:11.829 with Jesus, and the Chip Ingram app is a great 00:28:11.829 --> 00:28:14.690 way to immerse yourself in godly, enriching content. 00:28:15.160 --> 00:28:17.759 Well, be sure to join us next time as Chip continues 00:28:17.759 --> 00:28:20.960 his series, Spiritual Simplicity. Until then, 00:28:21.059 --> 00:28:23.200 I'm Dave Drewy saying thanks for listening to 00:28:23.200 --> 00:28:25.279 this edition of Living on the Edge.