WEBVTT 00:00:01.199 --> 00:00:04.219 There are two things, two attitudes that will 00:00:04.219 --> 00:00:07.019 kill love. Today I'm going to share with you 00:00:07.019 --> 00:00:09.519 what those two attitudes are, how to spot them, 00:00:09.599 --> 00:00:12.560 and then how to keep them from ruining the love 00:00:12.560 --> 00:00:19.699 in your life. Welcome to this edition of Living 00:00:19.699 --> 00:00:22.440 on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Our mission is 00:00:22.440 --> 00:00:24.859 to inspire Christians to be genuine followers 00:00:24.859 --> 00:00:27.899 of Jesus and to empower them to be active disciple 00:00:27.899 --> 00:00:30.550 makers in our world. Thanks for being with us 00:00:30.550 --> 00:00:33.070 as we pick up in our series, Spiritual Simplicity, 00:00:33.270 --> 00:00:36.429 Doing Less, Loving More. Today, Chip continues 00:00:36.429 --> 00:00:39.390 teaching through 1 Corinthians chapter 13 and 00:00:39.390 --> 00:00:42.369 uses another popular song from the past to reveal 00:00:42.369 --> 00:00:45.609 specific truths from this passage. Well, he has 00:00:45.609 --> 00:00:47.729 a lot to share today, so grab your Bible and 00:00:47.729 --> 00:00:50.369 notes as we join Chip right now for his insightful 00:00:50.369 --> 00:00:55.429 message. How could we do less, kind of get out 00:00:55.429 --> 00:00:59.859 of the crazy schedules and love more? And I entitled 00:00:59.859 --> 00:01:02.899 this one, What's Love Got to Do With It? And 00:01:02.899 --> 00:01:04.560 I don't know about you, but that sort of brings 00:01:04.560 --> 00:01:07.079 back a little memory. You know, kind of Tina. 00:01:07.319 --> 00:01:10.519 It's the early 90s. I'm in my car. What's love 00:01:10.519 --> 00:01:14.939 got to do with it? Easy, easy. I better save 00:01:14.939 --> 00:01:19.120 my impressions for later. But that was one of 00:01:19.120 --> 00:01:22.980 the catchiest tunes I'd ever, ever heard. And 00:01:22.980 --> 00:01:24.819 I remember later, you know how you sing along 00:01:24.819 --> 00:01:26.760 in the car and then you hear what you're singing? 00:01:27.629 --> 00:01:29.909 I listened to the words, and I thought, these 00:01:29.909 --> 00:01:33.790 may be some of the most pathetically sad words 00:01:33.790 --> 00:01:37.349 about love I've ever heard. She came out of a 00:01:37.349 --> 00:01:40.849 very difficult, abusive relationship, if you 00:01:40.849 --> 00:01:44.129 know her life story. And if you have time to 00:01:44.129 --> 00:01:46.129 actually study the words, I actually pulled them 00:01:46.129 --> 00:01:50.469 down. And she says, basically, love is nothing 00:01:50.469 --> 00:01:54.019 more than a secondhand emotion. It's a sweet 00:01:54.019 --> 00:01:56.819 old -fashioned notion. In other words, it's really 00:01:56.819 --> 00:01:59.780 not true. It's just sort of this ideal that maybe 00:01:59.780 --> 00:02:02.640 someday, someway, but she's given up on it. And 00:02:02.640 --> 00:02:07.019 then she says this line, who needs a heart when 00:02:07.019 --> 00:02:10.719 a heart can be broken? And so just focus on the 00:02:10.719 --> 00:02:14.020 physical, don't risk, don't care. The message 00:02:14.020 --> 00:02:18.400 is get, take, exploit, because real love is either 00:02:18.400 --> 00:02:23.669 too rare, too dangerous, too costly and although 00:02:23.669 --> 00:02:26.569 it was in the very beginning of the 90s I could 00:02:26.569 --> 00:02:29.569 actually listen to the lyrics of that song in 00:02:29.569 --> 00:02:31.810 terms of philosophy Francis Schaeffer was right 00:02:31.810 --> 00:02:34.270 if you want to know when the philosophy of a 00:02:34.270 --> 00:02:36.689 culture has hit mainstream just listen to the 00:02:36.689 --> 00:02:40.289 music and observe the art and the message of 00:02:40.289 --> 00:02:44.050 this song in the 60s and 70s that same message 00:02:44.050 --> 00:02:46.479 birthed the sexual revolution The message of 00:02:46.479 --> 00:02:48.900 that song really epitomizes the greed of the 00:02:48.900 --> 00:02:52.300 80s and the me -ism of the 90s. And the message 00:02:52.300 --> 00:02:55.020 and the disappointment of that song, I think 00:02:55.020 --> 00:02:57.379 has birthed what this new millennium generation 00:02:57.379 --> 00:02:59.560 is saying. You know, I don't know what you all 00:02:59.560 --> 00:03:02.419 did with your life, but I want genuine intimacy 00:03:02.419 --> 00:03:05.300 and authentic community. And I want to do life 00:03:05.300 --> 00:03:08.080 with people that really care, that are really 00:03:08.080 --> 00:03:11.479 real and really deep. And here's what I can tell 00:03:11.479 --> 00:03:15.639 you. When love is minimized, because that's what 00:03:15.639 --> 00:03:21.780 the song is about, trivia is maximized. The important 00:03:21.780 --> 00:03:27.060 becomes trivial. And then the trivial becomes 00:03:27.060 --> 00:03:31.300 important. And so the way that we got where we 00:03:31.300 --> 00:03:35.639 are. is when loving people and loving God and 00:03:35.639 --> 00:03:39.400 really knowing what that means becomes minimized, 00:03:39.439 --> 00:03:43.680 then possessions and power and prestige and what 00:03:43.680 --> 00:03:46.520 people think and what you wear and what schools 00:03:46.520 --> 00:03:49.759 your kids go to and how you're doing produces 00:03:49.759 --> 00:03:53.979 these demands where we start living lives that 00:03:53.979 --> 00:03:56.479 are just unprecedented in terms of demand, demand, 00:03:56.800 --> 00:04:01.819 demand, complexity, complexity, complexity. And 00:04:01.819 --> 00:04:03.719 so on the very front of your notes, if you have 00:04:03.719 --> 00:04:05.780 those, I ask the question as we get started, 00:04:05.979 --> 00:04:08.460 so what's love got to do with simplifying your 00:04:08.460 --> 00:04:12.000 life? And the answer is everything. Because when 00:04:12.000 --> 00:04:16.060 you maximize love, when you talk about purposefully, 00:04:16.060 --> 00:04:19.139 specifically loving other people in intimate 00:04:19.139 --> 00:04:21.680 and authentic ways, some of the trivial things, 00:04:21.800 --> 00:04:24.100 all of a sudden, they lose their luster. Who 00:04:24.100 --> 00:04:26.420 cares about this or that when love is really 00:04:26.420 --> 00:04:31.089 happening? I gave you three reasons why. The 00:04:31.089 --> 00:04:34.310 answer is everything. The first we covered because 00:04:34.310 --> 00:04:38.629 anything minus love is nothing. In fact, everything 00:04:38.629 --> 00:04:41.509 minus love. Meet some people that have spent 00:04:41.509 --> 00:04:45.709 their life with the latter leaning on fame, money, 00:04:45.949 --> 00:04:49.310 fortune. The only thing missing is their mate, 00:04:49.509 --> 00:04:52.930 their kids, and any close friends. Everything 00:04:52.930 --> 00:04:57.189 minus love is nothing. The second reason is because 00:04:57.189 --> 00:05:00.550 it is our misbelief. about what our performance, 00:05:00.689 --> 00:05:03.470 possessions, and provisions can deliver that 00:05:03.470 --> 00:05:07.009 we chase bigger, better, faster, more. Bigger, 00:05:07.009 --> 00:05:10.689 better, faster, more. That creates worlds of 00:05:10.689 --> 00:05:16.189 complexity and worlds that have tired, overextended 00:05:16.189 --> 00:05:21.149 people with a lifestyle that promises a lot, 00:05:21.250 --> 00:05:24.990 delivers little, and is characterized by superficial, 00:05:25.410 --> 00:05:29.720 shallow relationships. and achy loneliness in 00:05:29.720 --> 00:05:34.720 your soul. The third reason that love and simplicity 00:05:34.720 --> 00:05:38.319 go together is because you can only do less if 00:05:38.319 --> 00:05:41.199 you purpose to love more. For me, in terms of 00:05:41.199 --> 00:05:44.720 my study, when I prepare for this, the person 00:05:44.720 --> 00:05:47.439 who gets spoken to first is me. And I've, like 00:05:47.439 --> 00:05:49.800 many of you, I'm a fairly driven person. I'm 00:05:49.800 --> 00:05:53.300 pretty goal -oriented. And I've told myself a 00:05:53.300 --> 00:05:55.339 million times, I'm gonna slow down more, get 00:05:55.339 --> 00:06:00.680 more margin. That doesn't last long unless you 00:06:00.680 --> 00:06:02.500 shift the focus on, instead of I'm not going 00:06:02.500 --> 00:06:05.240 to be doing these things, to I'm going to love 00:06:05.240 --> 00:06:07.980 deeply. I want to love God more deeply than ever 00:06:07.980 --> 00:06:10.120 before. I want to love my wife more deeply than 00:06:10.120 --> 00:06:12.199 ever before. I want to love my kids, and in my 00:06:12.199 --> 00:06:14.939 case, grandkids. I want to love my friends. When 00:06:14.939 --> 00:06:18.420 you begin to purpose to say, I'm going to love 00:06:18.420 --> 00:06:21.120 more and love deeper, some of the pressures I 00:06:21.120 --> 00:06:23.519 was feeling, all of a sudden, they're not that 00:06:23.519 --> 00:06:27.480 important anymore. Well, how do you do it? assess 00:06:27.480 --> 00:06:30.160 what's the biggest barrier to you slowing down 00:06:30.160 --> 00:06:33.639 and simplifying your life. What is it that really 00:06:33.639 --> 00:06:36.199 keeps you at the pace that you're living? Second 00:06:36.199 --> 00:06:39.120 is define what's it look like to really love 00:06:39.120 --> 00:06:41.600 those in your world? I mean, we know God loves 00:06:41.600 --> 00:06:44.040 the whole world. Well, you either have a roommate 00:06:44.040 --> 00:06:46.259 or a family. You have a workplace. You have friends. 00:06:46.399 --> 00:06:48.879 You have people here. You're probably in a small 00:06:48.879 --> 00:06:51.899 group. So what's it look like specifically to 00:06:51.899 --> 00:06:54.019 love the people that are closest to you? And 00:06:54.019 --> 00:06:56.259 then third, we talk about develop specific baby 00:06:56.259 --> 00:06:59.800 steps of love and action that break old habit 00:06:59.800 --> 00:07:04.100 patterns. How you live, how I live. I mean, you 00:07:04.100 --> 00:07:06.860 didn't get there overnight. And us saying let's 00:07:06.860 --> 00:07:09.779 love more and do less is not going to cut it. 00:07:09.839 --> 00:07:13.519 We've got to look at specific action steps of 00:07:13.519 --> 00:07:16.100 action that will allow the transformation of 00:07:16.100 --> 00:07:18.500 your heart and then your relationships that get 00:07:18.500 --> 00:07:21.360 translated into your schedule. And so the question 00:07:21.360 --> 00:07:24.160 I want to ask and answer today is how do we then 00:07:24.160 --> 00:07:29.579 maximize love so love becomes what's important 00:07:29.579 --> 00:07:32.360 and some of those trivial, they don't feel trivial, 00:07:32.439 --> 00:07:35.500 but those trivial, less important things diminish 00:07:35.500 --> 00:07:38.019 in their priority and demand on your life. And 00:07:38.019 --> 00:07:39.920 since you have opened your notes, I will catch 00:07:39.920 --> 00:07:43.199 up because you've hit the answer. I believe the 00:07:43.199 --> 00:07:46.449 key is learning to love in real time. So this 00:07:46.449 --> 00:07:48.850 is not a motivational talk that, you know, you 00:07:48.850 --> 00:07:52.189 should love more, you know, platitudes or try 00:07:52.189 --> 00:07:55.189 harder or get you emotionally in a pitch. I want 00:07:55.189 --> 00:07:58.189 to love more. Well, that lasts about 30 seconds 00:07:58.189 --> 00:08:01.689 to 30 hours, depending on your personality. The 00:08:01.689 --> 00:08:05.769 key to transformation is in real time, in how 00:08:05.769 --> 00:08:09.029 you live with the people you're closest to. A 00:08:09.029 --> 00:08:11.850 real time issue is how do you respond to those 00:08:11.850 --> 00:08:15.060 who hurt you? And the truth is, we learned, 1 00:08:15.060 --> 00:08:17.519 Corinthians 13, love is patient, love is kind. 00:08:17.579 --> 00:08:20.740 The practice is, someone has hurt you. They've 00:08:20.740 --> 00:08:23.100 ignored you. They've rejected you. They made 00:08:23.100 --> 00:08:26.060 you feel bad. You can either withdraw or pay 00:08:26.060 --> 00:08:28.879 them back. Or remember the pillow? You can absorb 00:08:28.879 --> 00:08:31.759 the blow by the grace of God and return a hug. 00:08:32.320 --> 00:08:35.340 That's the practice. Today, we're going to talk 00:08:35.340 --> 00:08:38.870 about a second real life. kind of learning to 00:08:38.870 --> 00:08:41.549 love in real time. And in real time, we're going 00:08:41.549 --> 00:08:44.950 to look now at how does love respond to differences? 00:08:45.409 --> 00:08:47.370 We have different personalities. We have different 00:08:47.370 --> 00:08:50.529 backgrounds. We have different gifts. Those of 00:08:50.529 --> 00:08:53.590 you that are in a significant relationship or 00:08:53.590 --> 00:08:56.309 married, it was your differences that drew you 00:08:56.309 --> 00:08:58.470 together. And if you've been married much time 00:08:58.470 --> 00:09:00.149 at all, it is your differences that make you 00:09:00.149 --> 00:09:02.659 crazy, right? Or even with friends, you know, 00:09:02.700 --> 00:09:04.539 you become good friends with someone and you 00:09:04.539 --> 00:09:05.980 really like it because they're different than 00:09:05.980 --> 00:09:07.639 you. And then you start hanging out with them. 00:09:07.679 --> 00:09:09.659 And those differences are like, man, would you 00:09:09.659 --> 00:09:12.799 lighten up? You're kind of making me crazy. Well, 00:09:12.899 --> 00:09:14.879 the church in Corinth had a lot of differences. 00:09:15.799 --> 00:09:17.940 And the apostle Paul is going to address this 00:09:17.940 --> 00:09:20.460 issue of differences. In fact, the truth is love 00:09:20.460 --> 00:09:23.019 does not envy. It does not boast. It is not rude. 00:09:23.200 --> 00:09:26.139 It is not self -seeking. It is not easily angered. 00:09:26.139 --> 00:09:29.120 It keeps no records of wrong. That's 1 Corinthians 00:09:29.120 --> 00:09:32.120 13, four and five. Now make sure you get the 00:09:32.120 --> 00:09:34.620 core of it. Pull out your pencil, underline the 00:09:34.620 --> 00:09:40.240 word envy, underline the word boast, rude, not 00:09:40.240 --> 00:09:45.659 self -seeking, easily angered, keeps no record 00:09:45.659 --> 00:09:50.639 of wrongs. This is how love responds to differences. 00:09:51.220 --> 00:09:53.440 And you would find that far from a beautiful 00:09:53.440 --> 00:09:56.700 poem that Paul is writing, is that he's actually 00:09:56.700 --> 00:10:01.639 giving correctives to how this church was treating 00:10:01.639 --> 00:10:05.379 one another. And so it says, love doesn't envy. 00:10:05.500 --> 00:10:07.700 Well, they were envying in chapter 3, and he 00:10:07.700 --> 00:10:10.019 addresses it. It says, love doesn't boast. He 00:10:10.019 --> 00:10:11.679 actually says, why are you boasting in chapter 00:10:11.679 --> 00:10:15.139 4? In chapter 11, they were rude in the way they 00:10:15.139 --> 00:10:17.529 took the Lord's Supper. In chapter six, they 00:10:17.529 --> 00:10:19.350 were self -seeking. They were actually going 00:10:19.350 --> 00:10:21.690 to court and suing one another. And then when 00:10:21.690 --> 00:10:23.990 you get all that conflict, guess what? They're 00:10:23.990 --> 00:10:26.070 easily angry at one another and they're holding 00:10:26.070 --> 00:10:29.309 on and they're bitter and resentful. And so Paul's 00:10:29.309 --> 00:10:32.769 saying, that's not how love responds to differences. 00:10:33.389 --> 00:10:35.570 So in chapter 12, what he actually did, if you 00:10:35.570 --> 00:10:37.169 have your Bible, open it up. First Corinthians 00:10:37.169 --> 00:10:41.649 chapter 12, he's expressed to them how love actually 00:10:41.649 --> 00:10:46.320 works. He says, the way love works is love. Love 00:10:46.320 --> 00:10:49.019 celebrates our differences. Love looks at different 00:10:49.019 --> 00:10:51.419 people and realizes it's kind of like the little 00:10:51.419 --> 00:10:54.159 pieces of a puzzle is that every one of them 00:10:54.159 --> 00:10:55.960 is important and they're different colors and 00:10:55.960 --> 00:10:58.279 they're different shapes, but love celebrates 00:10:58.279 --> 00:11:02.539 differences and love refuses to compare. And 00:11:02.539 --> 00:11:05.480 so he gives the analogy of the human body. And 00:11:05.480 --> 00:11:08.179 so he writes, the body, this is. Chapter 12, 00:11:08.279 --> 00:11:11.080 verse 12, the body is a unit. Get the idea of 00:11:11.080 --> 00:11:13.279 oneness or wholeness. Though it's made up of 00:11:13.279 --> 00:11:15.740 many parts, and though all the parts are many, 00:11:15.840 --> 00:11:18.159 they form one body. So there's differences, diversity, 00:11:18.500 --> 00:11:21.000 and there's unity. Now, he applies it. So it 00:11:21.000 --> 00:11:23.919 is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one 00:11:23.919 --> 00:11:26.320 spirit in one body, whether Jews or Greeks or 00:11:26.320 --> 00:11:28.720 slave or free, and we're all given the one spirit 00:11:28.720 --> 00:11:31.779 to drink. Now, when we read slave or free, Jew 00:11:31.779 --> 00:11:35.960 or Greek, we think, I mean, These are people 00:11:35.960 --> 00:11:39.299 that didn't get along at all before they came 00:11:39.299 --> 00:11:42.259 to Christ. He's saying you are very, very, very 00:11:42.259 --> 00:11:44.320 different, but now you're a part of something 00:11:44.320 --> 00:11:46.519 that's bigger and more important in your new 00:11:46.519 --> 00:11:48.779 relationship. You're a part of the body of Christ, 00:11:48.879 --> 00:11:52.039 the church. Now the body is not made up of one 00:11:52.039 --> 00:11:54.759 part, but many. And then he gives a hypothetical 00:11:54.759 --> 00:11:57.179 situation. He's using the human body to make 00:11:57.179 --> 00:12:00.460 his point about love doesn't compare. He says, 00:12:00.500 --> 00:12:02.340 if the foot should say, because I'm not a hand, 00:12:02.480 --> 00:12:05.019 I do not belong to the body, it would not for 00:12:05.019 --> 00:12:07.480 that reason cease to be a part of the body. And 00:12:07.480 --> 00:12:10.620 if the ear should say, because I'm not an eye, 00:12:10.679 --> 00:12:12.320 I don't belong to the body, it would not for 00:12:12.320 --> 00:12:14.919 that reason cease to be a part of the body. And 00:12:14.919 --> 00:12:17.200 then he goes on to say, if the whole body were 00:12:17.200 --> 00:12:19.019 an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? 00:12:19.059 --> 00:12:20.320 If the whole body were an ear, where would the 00:12:20.320 --> 00:12:23.070 sense of smell be? He's saying we need every 00:12:23.070 --> 00:12:25.549 part of the body. But in fact, God has arranged 00:12:25.549 --> 00:12:28.210 the parts in the body, every one of them, just 00:12:28.210 --> 00:12:31.549 as he wanted them to be. If they were all one 00:12:31.549 --> 00:12:34.029 part, where would the body be? As it is, there 00:12:34.029 --> 00:12:36.889 are many parts, but one body. You might underline 00:12:36.889 --> 00:12:39.509 that little phrase in your Bible, just as he 00:12:39.509 --> 00:12:44.340 wanted them to be. Until you understand that 00:12:44.340 --> 00:12:47.279 you are fearfully and wonderfully made, that 00:12:47.279 --> 00:12:50.279 you're unique, that your physical body, how you 00:12:50.279 --> 00:12:53.080 process information, your spiritual gifts, your 00:12:53.080 --> 00:12:55.539 weaknesses, your strength, and the sovereignty 00:12:55.539 --> 00:12:58.159 of God, even the kind of experiences up and down 00:12:58.159 --> 00:13:01.980 you've been through, you bring something unique 00:13:01.980 --> 00:13:05.179 that no one else does. And if you compare or 00:13:05.179 --> 00:13:09.899 copy or be like someone else, we lose you. And 00:13:09.899 --> 00:13:13.759 we need you. You're listening to Living on the 00:13:13.759 --> 00:13:16.220 Edge, and Chip will be back to continue our series, 00:13:16.379 --> 00:13:19.419 Spiritual Simplicity, in just a minute. But let 00:13:19.419 --> 00:13:21.580 me quickly tell you, we are more than a broadcast 00:13:21.580 --> 00:13:24.320 ministry. We're passionate about supporting pastors 00:13:24.320 --> 00:13:27.700 globally, developing helpful resources, and sharing 00:13:27.700 --> 00:13:30.700 the gospel with this next generation. So if you'd 00:13:30.700 --> 00:13:32.799 like to partner with us in these areas, go to 00:13:32.799 --> 00:13:37.200 livingontheedge .org. We'll hear again as Chip. 00:13:37.860 --> 00:13:40.340 He goes on to say, verse 21, the eye cannot say 00:13:40.340 --> 00:13:43.200 to the hand, I don't need you. And the head cannot 00:13:43.200 --> 00:13:45.460 say to the feet, I don't need you. On the contrary, 00:13:45.559 --> 00:13:47.740 those parts of the body that seem to be weaker 00:13:47.740 --> 00:13:49.980 are indispensable. And the parts that we think 00:13:49.980 --> 00:13:51.879 are less honorable, we treat with special favor. 00:13:52.240 --> 00:13:54.519 And the parts that are unpresentable are treated 00:13:54.519 --> 00:13:57.000 with special modesty, while our presentable parts 00:13:57.000 --> 00:13:59.740 have no special treatment. Now here's the application. 00:14:00.399 --> 00:14:03.320 But God has combined the members of the body 00:14:03.320 --> 00:14:05.679 and has given greater honor to the parts that 00:14:05.679 --> 00:14:08.980 lacked it, so there would be no division in the 00:14:08.980 --> 00:14:12.039 body, but that its parts should have equal concern 00:14:12.039 --> 00:14:17.919 for each other. Key application. He says, God 00:14:17.919 --> 00:14:22.299 has done this in a way so that there's no division 00:14:22.299 --> 00:14:26.019 and we would have equal concern for one another. 00:14:26.700 --> 00:14:31.730 This church was very... To say it was cliquish 00:14:31.730 --> 00:14:35.669 is an understatement. This church was backbiting, 00:14:35.710 --> 00:14:39.009 gossiping, arguing. And here's the thing. The 00:14:39.009 --> 00:14:41.909 problem doesn't just rest with the Corinthian 00:14:41.909 --> 00:14:45.009 church in the first century. Every church, every 00:14:45.009 --> 00:14:50.009 family, every organization, if you compare instead 00:14:50.009 --> 00:14:53.549 of celebrate differences, it always produces 00:14:53.549 --> 00:14:59.519 bad, bad things. In fact, it kills love. We take 00:14:59.519 --> 00:15:02.059 differences and instead of saying we're different, 00:15:02.120 --> 00:15:04.559 we look at differences and we say people that 00:15:04.559 --> 00:15:06.700 are different, some of them we think, well, they're 00:15:06.700 --> 00:15:09.059 better than us and we envy them. And some people 00:15:09.059 --> 00:15:10.559 are different. We think, well, they're less than 00:15:10.559 --> 00:15:14.440 us. And so we're arrogant toward them. And the 00:15:14.440 --> 00:15:17.480 apostle Paul is going to say that these are the 00:15:17.480 --> 00:15:20.299 issues he wanted to address and that the Corinthian 00:15:20.299 --> 00:15:24.220 church had two unloving responses when it came 00:15:24.220 --> 00:15:27.889 to differences. The first is envy. And the second 00:15:27.889 --> 00:15:32.230 is arrogance. Those two issues, I want you to 00:15:32.230 --> 00:15:35.549 kind of see them as a singular coin. And the 00:15:35.549 --> 00:15:39.409 coin is in your relationships, in my relationships, 00:15:39.549 --> 00:15:41.549 in the Corinthian relationships, the question 00:15:41.549 --> 00:15:46.090 is, how do you respond to differences? And some 00:15:46.090 --> 00:15:49.429 people respond by comparing and the outcome is 00:15:49.429 --> 00:15:53.090 envy. Other people respond and compare in a different 00:15:53.090 --> 00:15:55.950 way and the outcome is arrogance. And if you 00:15:55.950 --> 00:15:59.129 look at those words we read, he says, love isn't 00:15:59.129 --> 00:16:02.990 envious, love isn't boastful or arrogant. Every 00:16:02.990 --> 00:16:06.509 other little phrase after that is the fruit of 00:16:06.509 --> 00:16:09.649 either being envious or arrogant. Here's what 00:16:09.649 --> 00:16:11.350 I want you, I mean, this is what we're going 00:16:11.350 --> 00:16:14.409 after. This is the jugular. You want to become 00:16:14.409 --> 00:16:18.750 more loving in real time. Here's the issue. Comparison 00:16:18.750 --> 00:16:22.289 always leads to carnality. The moment you compare 00:16:22.289 --> 00:16:24.230 your hair with another person, your car with 00:16:24.230 --> 00:16:26.169 another person, your gifts with another person, 00:16:26.309 --> 00:16:28.149 your singleness with a person, your marriage 00:16:28.149 --> 00:16:30.230 with another person, how God is using or not 00:16:30.230 --> 00:16:32.070 using you, how much money you have, where you 00:16:32.070 --> 00:16:34.870 live, what you drive, the moment you ever compare 00:16:34.870 --> 00:16:37.470 yourself with another person, it always produces 00:16:37.470 --> 00:16:40.289 carnality. And if you're wondering what carnality 00:16:40.289 --> 00:16:45.500 is, it's just sin. You're not loving. Because 00:16:45.500 --> 00:16:47.399 the moment you compare, there's only two directions 00:16:47.399 --> 00:16:51.440 to go. You start comparing and you go, hmm, I 00:16:51.440 --> 00:16:53.659 think that person's up here and I'm here. That's 00:16:53.659 --> 00:16:56.000 a lot nicer car. They have more visible gifts. 00:16:56.460 --> 00:16:58.360 I'm single and they're married and I wish I was 00:16:58.360 --> 00:17:01.799 married. Or it goes the other way. You know what? 00:17:01.820 --> 00:17:03.940 That person's not very important. That's an old 00:17:03.940 --> 00:17:06.079 dumpy thing. I wonder why they act like that. 00:17:06.220 --> 00:17:08.180 I wonder why they dress like that. And you know 00:17:08.180 --> 00:17:11.160 what? You don't verbalize it, but you feel superior. 00:17:12.019 --> 00:17:15.430 You feel better than. And when you envy people, 00:17:15.670 --> 00:17:18.230 you don't treat them in loving ways. Or if you 00:17:18.230 --> 00:17:20.029 think you're better than them, you don't treat 00:17:20.029 --> 00:17:23.069 them in loving ways. And so here's what I want 00:17:23.069 --> 00:17:28.130 you to see. We are gonna go to war on the issue 00:17:28.130 --> 00:17:31.230 of comparison. And comparison, as one guy said, 00:17:31.329 --> 00:17:35.910 I love it. Comparison is like a mafia boss. Mafia 00:17:35.910 --> 00:17:40.230 bosses, they don't ever commit murders. They 00:17:40.230 --> 00:17:42.589 have hit men. They never get their hands dirty. 00:17:42.960 --> 00:17:45.619 And so what happens is comparison is really what 00:17:45.619 --> 00:17:47.579 we want to go after, but there's two hitmen. 00:17:47.599 --> 00:17:51.559 One is envy, and the other is arrogance. Envy 00:17:51.559 --> 00:17:55.400 compares upward and produces jealousy, anger, 00:17:55.640 --> 00:17:58.460 resentment, and bitterness. In the text here, 00:17:58.500 --> 00:18:01.880 this is the foot says to the hand. The foot says 00:18:01.880 --> 00:18:03.839 to the hand, I mean, you know, the foot says 00:18:03.839 --> 00:18:06.099 to the hand, this isn't fair. I don't like what 00:18:06.099 --> 00:18:08.880 you've got. I mean, I'm, you know, I'm down here 00:18:08.880 --> 00:18:10.619 on the ground and there's dust and my feet are 00:18:10.619 --> 00:18:12.960 dirty. And then later people put socks on me. 00:18:13.140 --> 00:18:14.539 People can't even see me. And then you have to 00:18:14.539 --> 00:18:16.140 wear these shoes and they kind of hurt my feet. 00:18:16.240 --> 00:18:19.559 And look at you, your hands. They put rings on 00:18:19.559 --> 00:18:24.460 yours. You paint your nails. I mean, your hands 00:18:24.460 --> 00:18:27.140 do surgery. Your hands play instrument. You're 00:18:27.140 --> 00:18:33.049 important and I'm a nobody. You see, envy always 00:18:33.049 --> 00:18:36.289 compares upward, and then it produces jealousy 00:18:36.289 --> 00:18:39.509 and anger and resentment. The word here in Hebrew 00:18:39.509 --> 00:18:42.190 means something that has connotations of something 00:18:42.190 --> 00:18:47.890 that's red hot. It's this emotion that when you 00:18:47.890 --> 00:18:50.650 begin to envy someone, something burns inside. 00:18:50.710 --> 00:18:53.900 It goes something like this. You're single and 00:18:53.900 --> 00:18:56.160 you have a desire to be married and you're now 00:18:56.160 --> 00:18:58.220 with your third roommate and your first two roommates 00:18:58.220 --> 00:18:59.960 came home after a date and they said something 00:18:59.960 --> 00:19:03.400 like, I've got some exciting news. I'm engaged. 00:19:04.140 --> 00:19:08.259 And your response is, oh, that's wonderful on 00:19:08.259 --> 00:19:10.619 the outside. And on the inside, there's this 00:19:10.619 --> 00:19:14.279 burning, I can't get it. I mean, I'll tell you 00:19:14.279 --> 00:19:15.880 what, I've been doing it God's way. I'm sexually 00:19:15.880 --> 00:19:17.680 pure. I'm trying really hard. I go to church. 00:19:17.839 --> 00:19:20.400 She's a once a month. God, what's the deal? How 00:19:20.400 --> 00:19:24.099 come she's, right? Or you're in a Bible study 00:19:24.099 --> 00:19:26.799 and people don't know it, but you know, they 00:19:26.799 --> 00:19:28.519 ask often, you've been married six, seven years. 00:19:28.660 --> 00:19:29.920 You don't have any kids. Oh, well, we're just 00:19:29.920 --> 00:19:31.819 kind of, and you've spent all kinds of money 00:19:31.819 --> 00:19:34.559 and you can't have children. And then you're 00:19:34.559 --> 00:19:36.480 in one of these Bible studies and you know, this 00:19:36.480 --> 00:19:37.519 group says, well, you know, we were thinking 00:19:37.519 --> 00:19:39.839 about having kids, but it's been nine months, 00:19:39.980 --> 00:19:42.240 11 months, and we still can't. And then they 00:19:42.240 --> 00:19:44.019 come to a Bible study or a life group and go, 00:19:44.059 --> 00:19:47.099 we're pregnant. And like everyone else, you go, 00:19:47.119 --> 00:19:51.039 oh, that's wonderful. And your insides go. God, 00:19:51.079 --> 00:19:54.240 I mean, we spent thousands of dollars. We've 00:19:54.240 --> 00:19:56.319 done this, this. You know, why do they get that? 00:19:57.119 --> 00:20:01.519 See, by definition, envy is you looking at what 00:20:01.519 --> 00:20:06.059 someone else has or what someone else is, and 00:20:06.059 --> 00:20:09.539 you think if you had it or were it, then you 00:20:09.539 --> 00:20:12.799 would matter. Then your soul, then your heart, 00:20:12.920 --> 00:20:15.640 then your life would be complete. And underneath 00:20:15.640 --> 00:20:20.519 of it, it's not fair, God. If you really loved 00:20:20.519 --> 00:20:22.619 me, I wouldn't be single. If you really loved 00:20:22.619 --> 00:20:24.680 me, we would have kids. If you really loved me, 00:20:24.720 --> 00:20:26.960 I'd be the top salesperson. If you really loved 00:20:26.960 --> 00:20:28.920 me, after I gave all that money, how could you 00:20:28.920 --> 00:20:33.500 let this happen when the recession hit? And so 00:20:33.500 --> 00:20:36.420 rooted in a belief system that God isn't really 00:20:36.420 --> 00:20:40.319 good, you compare upward and you envy. And the 00:20:40.319 --> 00:20:43.920 envious person has some feelings and attitudes 00:20:43.920 --> 00:20:48.119 that go something like this. I don't belong. 00:20:50.460 --> 00:20:55.220 You don't need me. The feelings move on to a 00:20:55.220 --> 00:20:58.519 pattern inside the heart. And inside the heart, 00:20:58.559 --> 00:21:03.480 it's like, well, I feel less than them. You both 00:21:03.480 --> 00:21:05.920 went to school together. You both had careers 00:21:05.920 --> 00:21:09.019 together. Seems like their career is here and 00:21:09.019 --> 00:21:11.059 yours is there. And when you're with them, and 00:21:11.059 --> 00:21:14.039 you used to be great friends, but they talk about 00:21:14.039 --> 00:21:17.660 this world that you feel like, why don't I have 00:21:17.660 --> 00:21:21.670 that? And now, You feel less than, and then the 00:21:21.670 --> 00:21:23.450 second step is you don't want to be around them. 00:21:24.130 --> 00:21:26.190 Because we don't like to be around people who 00:21:26.190 --> 00:21:29.730 make us feel less than. And then after we move 00:21:29.730 --> 00:21:32.269 from feelings of less than to not being around 00:21:32.269 --> 00:21:37.569 them, then we resent them. Subtle little, you 00:21:37.569 --> 00:21:39.869 know, my sister and her husband, how come they 00:21:39.869 --> 00:21:43.630 got the new car? You know, that guy, that woman, 00:21:43.730 --> 00:21:48.039 that person at work. And by the way, these aren't 00:21:48.039 --> 00:21:50.440 things we usually, they're so delicate and often 00:21:50.440 --> 00:21:52.220 when you look at them and get them out, they're 00:21:52.220 --> 00:21:55.119 pretty ugly. These are not like prayer requests. 00:21:55.240 --> 00:21:57.180 Could you help me? When's the last time someone 00:21:57.180 --> 00:21:59.519 said, excuse me, I have a prayer request. I'm 00:21:59.519 --> 00:22:01.240 a very envious person. Do you think you could 00:22:01.240 --> 00:22:03.720 help me with my jealousy? I've not heard a lot 00:22:03.720 --> 00:22:06.759 of those prayer requests. The word literally 00:22:06.759 --> 00:22:11.039 means in Greek to eagerly desire. And often the 00:22:11.039 --> 00:22:13.059 way we try and solve this is very unhealthy. 00:22:13.649 --> 00:22:15.710 I guess I shouldn't want to be married. Why do 00:22:15.710 --> 00:22:17.289 I have the desire? I shouldn't feel that way. 00:22:17.369 --> 00:22:19.230 And you just beat yourself up. That doesn't work. 00:22:19.390 --> 00:22:22.349 The word means to eagerly desire. In chapter 00:22:22.349 --> 00:22:25.970 12, verse 31, it's used positively. In chapter 00:22:25.970 --> 00:22:28.650 14, verse 1, it's used positively. In chapter 00:22:28.650 --> 00:22:31.910 14, verse 39, the exact same word. Eagerly desire. 00:22:32.069 --> 00:22:34.609 Here's the deal. It can either mean to be jealous 00:22:34.609 --> 00:22:38.250 or it can mean to be zealous. And the only issue 00:22:38.250 --> 00:22:41.819 is the focus of your want. He says, I want you 00:22:41.819 --> 00:22:44.220 to eagerly desire spiritual gifts. I want you 00:22:44.220 --> 00:22:47.279 to eagerly desire to prophesy or use your gifts 00:22:47.279 --> 00:22:49.279 to honor and build up people. So here's what 00:22:49.279 --> 00:22:52.119 I want you to get on envy. It's this thing called 00:22:52.119 --> 00:22:56.200 this eager desire for something. And let's say 00:22:56.200 --> 00:22:58.960 that you have an eager desire. You have a desire 00:22:58.960 --> 00:23:03.720 in your heart for a bigger home. And your motivation 00:23:03.720 --> 00:23:06.619 is you have the gift of hospitality. And you're 00:23:06.619 --> 00:23:09.240 not comparing with other people. But if you had 00:23:09.240 --> 00:23:12.279 more room, you could serve and love more people. 00:23:12.559 --> 00:23:16.539 That's called zealous desire to honor God. But 00:23:16.539 --> 00:23:18.880 let's say you have a desire for a bigger house. 00:23:19.500 --> 00:23:22.279 And the desire for a bigger house is everyone 00:23:22.279 --> 00:23:25.480 you know is getting bigger houses. And you are 00:23:25.480 --> 00:23:27.819 sick and tired of inviting them into your condo 00:23:27.819 --> 00:23:30.180 or your smaller house. And down deep, you feel 00:23:30.180 --> 00:23:32.039 like you will demonstrate that you have arrived 00:23:32.039 --> 00:23:34.680 when you have a bigger house. That's called envy 00:23:34.680 --> 00:23:39.779 or jealousy. If the desire is to try and matter 00:23:39.779 --> 00:23:43.240 more, jealousy. If the desire is, God, I want 00:23:43.240 --> 00:23:46.299 this to minister more deeply, it's zealous, God 00:23:46.299 --> 00:23:49.440 -honoring desire. You need to redirect your desires, 00:23:49.460 --> 00:23:52.069 not try to kill them. There's nothing wrong with 00:23:52.069 --> 00:23:54.130 the desire if you're single to be married. There's 00:23:54.130 --> 00:23:56.029 nothing wrong with the desire if you don't have 00:23:56.029 --> 00:23:57.829 kids and want to have kids. There's nothing wrong 00:23:57.829 --> 00:24:00.450 with the desire to be up on the sales force to 00:24:00.450 --> 00:24:02.569 earn a better living. There's nothing wrong with 00:24:02.569 --> 00:24:04.950 it. Those are honest desires. But the moment 00:24:04.950 --> 00:24:09.009 you compare, you stop loving. You stop loving. 00:24:10.289 --> 00:24:13.730 This would be the time in my notes where I should 00:24:13.730 --> 00:24:20.289 write down, Chip, pregnant pause. Give them time 00:24:20.289 --> 00:24:24.329 to think about the specific person that they 00:24:24.329 --> 00:24:34.789 envy. Have you got it? Him, her, fellow worker, 00:24:34.910 --> 00:24:40.430 someone in the church. Sometimes it happens inside 00:24:40.430 --> 00:24:46.839 families. This is Living on the Edge with Chip 00:24:46.839 --> 00:24:48.880 Ingram, and you've been listening to Part 1 of 00:24:48.880 --> 00:24:51.180 Chip's message, What's Love Got to Do With It? 00:24:51.200 --> 00:24:54.619 from our series, Spiritual Simplicity. Chip will 00:24:54.619 --> 00:24:56.740 be back shortly to share some helpful application 00:24:56.740 --> 00:24:59.619 for us to think about. Have you ever felt like 00:24:59.619 --> 00:25:01.940 there's never enough time in the day for yourself, 00:25:02.299 --> 00:25:05.460 the people you love, even God? If you can relate, 00:25:05.680 --> 00:25:08.220 don't miss this series. Chip's going to challenge 00:25:08.220 --> 00:25:11.160 the unrealistic standards and expectations we 00:25:11.160 --> 00:25:14.140 all feel pressured by. Join us as we learn how 00:25:14.140 --> 00:25:17.019 to break free from this demanding cycle and discover 00:25:17.019 --> 00:25:19.559 the simpler, more fulfilling life God has in 00:25:19.559 --> 00:25:22.200 store for us. I hope you'll be with us for every 00:25:22.200 --> 00:25:25.079 part of this study. Well, before we go any further, 00:25:25.279 --> 00:25:27.500 Chip's in studio now to share a quick word with 00:25:27.500 --> 00:25:30.579 all of you. Chip? Thanks so much, Dave. Just 00:25:30.579 --> 00:25:32.980 before I come back and talk about some application 00:25:32.980 --> 00:25:36.279 for you in today's program, I just want to pause 00:25:36.279 --> 00:25:39.240 and thank those of you... who are our monthly 00:25:39.240 --> 00:25:41.640 partners. You know, there's a significant group 00:25:41.640 --> 00:25:45.180 of people that each and every month... All various 00:25:45.180 --> 00:25:48.799 sizes give monthly to Living on the Edge. And 00:25:48.799 --> 00:25:51.519 it is such a joy to know that there's stability 00:25:51.519 --> 00:25:54.660 and income that we know that's coming in that 00:25:54.660 --> 00:25:57.519 allows us to plan in really significant ways. 00:25:57.859 --> 00:26:00.160 And if you're one of those, I just want to say 00:26:00.160 --> 00:26:03.460 praise God and thank you very much. It's an indication 00:26:03.460 --> 00:26:05.819 of your heart. It means that you're aligning 00:26:05.819 --> 00:26:08.279 with our mission. And I pray that God richly 00:26:08.279 --> 00:26:10.680 blesses you. Thanks, Chip. Well, if you're already 00:26:10.680 --> 00:26:13.220 a financial partner, thank you. With your help, 00:26:13.240 --> 00:26:15.519 Living on the Edge is ministering to more people 00:26:15.519 --> 00:26:17.920 than ever. But if you're benefiting from Chip's 00:26:17.920 --> 00:26:20.519 teaching and haven't yet taken that step, now 00:26:20.519 --> 00:26:23.160 would be a great time to join the team. To send 00:26:23.160 --> 00:26:25.460 a gift or to become a monthly partner, go to 00:26:25.460 --> 00:26:31.059 livingontheedge .org or call 888 -333 -6003. 00:26:31.400 --> 00:26:36.819 That's 888 -333 -6003 or visit livingontheedge 00:26:36.819 --> 00:26:40.920 .org. App listeners, tap Donate. And thanks for 00:26:40.920 --> 00:26:43.880 giving whatever the Lord leads you to give. We'll 00:26:43.880 --> 00:26:47.119 hear again as Chip. As we close today's program, 00:26:47.240 --> 00:26:50.740 and since this issue of comparison is so deeply 00:26:50.740 --> 00:26:54.039 rooted in your psyche and mine, let me do just 00:26:54.039 --> 00:26:56.099 a little review. Kind of lean back a little bit 00:26:56.099 --> 00:27:00.140 and listen. When love is minimized, the trivial 00:27:00.140 --> 00:27:03.700 becomes maximized. When you start obsessing about 00:27:03.700 --> 00:27:07.170 trivial stuff, you can know that love is being 00:27:07.170 --> 00:27:10.269 minimized. The second thing is our misbeliefs 00:27:10.269 --> 00:27:12.970 about possessions and about power and prestige, 00:27:13.130 --> 00:27:17.029 they fuel our propensity to compare. That idea 00:27:17.029 --> 00:27:19.250 that, you know, if we have and can attain and 00:27:19.250 --> 00:27:21.869 perform and those external things are gonna make 00:27:21.869 --> 00:27:24.809 us a somebody, I mean, that's like pouring gasoline 00:27:24.809 --> 00:27:28.049 on the fire in your soul of comparing with other 00:27:28.049 --> 00:27:30.650 people, and it always turns out negative. The 00:27:30.650 --> 00:27:33.490 third is, remember, comparison always leads to 00:27:33.490 --> 00:27:35.500 carnality. I mean, no matter which direction 00:27:35.500 --> 00:27:37.220 you go, you compare, oh, they're better than 00:27:37.220 --> 00:27:39.660 me, I'm a nobody, or I'm better than them. I 00:27:39.660 --> 00:27:42.019 mean, it's either envy or arrogance. And we're 00:27:42.019 --> 00:27:44.200 going to talk about the latter in our next broadcast. 00:27:44.559 --> 00:27:47.380 But just ask yourself, when and how and with 00:27:47.380 --> 00:27:50.960 whom do I compare? And then finally, you know, 00:27:50.980 --> 00:27:53.700 God, what do you want me to do? What can I do 00:27:53.700 --> 00:27:57.079 this day to stop the comparing? And here's one 00:27:57.079 --> 00:27:58.980 little tip I'll give you until our next broadcast. 00:27:59.339 --> 00:28:02.920 When you start to compare, instead stop. Thank 00:28:02.920 --> 00:28:05.579 God for that person and the way he made them 00:28:05.579 --> 00:28:09.039 or what he gave them. And thank God for you and 00:28:09.039 --> 00:28:11.680 the way he made you and what he gave you. You 00:28:11.680 --> 00:28:14.099 do not know what is all going on in that person's 00:28:14.099 --> 00:28:16.380 life. You know, they may have a nice car and 00:28:16.380 --> 00:28:18.960 a beautiful this or a great that. You do not 00:28:18.960 --> 00:28:21.440 know what's going on. Just thank God that he 00:28:21.440 --> 00:28:24.400 was generous and kind with them. And then thank 00:28:24.400 --> 00:28:27.059 God for what he's given you and who you are. 00:28:27.099 --> 00:28:31.049 It's a choice. You cannot envy. and compare when 00:28:31.049 --> 00:28:33.309 you're thanking God for who you are and what 00:28:33.309 --> 00:28:36.150 he's already done for you. It'll realign and 00:28:36.150 --> 00:28:39.599 recalibrate your soul. Do it today. Thanks, Chip. 00:28:39.700 --> 00:28:41.980 And before we go, the points he just reviewed 00:28:41.980 --> 00:28:44.920 come right from his message notes, a great resource 00:28:44.920 --> 00:28:47.180 to help you get the most out of every program. 00:28:47.480 --> 00:28:50.119 You'll get Chip's outline, the scripture he references, 00:28:50.279 --> 00:28:52.619 and lots of fill -ins to help you remember what 00:28:52.619 --> 00:28:55.400 you hear. So before you listen again, let me 00:28:55.400 --> 00:28:57.819 encourage you to download Chip's message notes 00:28:57.819 --> 00:29:01.859 at livingontheedge .org under the broadcasts 00:29:01.859 --> 00:29:05.759 tab. App listeners, just tap fill in notes. We'll 00:29:05.759 --> 00:29:07.980 listen to next time as Chip picks up in his series. 00:29:08.460 --> 00:29:11.079 Spiritual Simplicity. Until then, this is Dave 00:29:11.079 --> 00:29:13.539 Drewy saying thanks for joining us for this edition 00:29:13.539 --> 00:29:15.079 of Living on the Edge.