Do you remember that old Beatles song, All You
Need Is Love? Remember? All you need is love.
Guess what? A lot of people criticized the Beatles,
but they got it right on that one. And we're
going to talk about how to get out of the performance
trap and get down to what really matters. Learning
that all you really need is love. That's today.
Thank you for being with us for this edition
of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Chip
serves as our Bible teacher for this global teaching
and discipleship ministry, helping Christians
develop an authentic faith. Well, in just a minute,
we'll continue our series, Spiritual Simplicity,
Doing Less, Loving More. But before Chip gets
started, if this is your first time listening
to Living on the Edge, or you're curious about
what we are and what we do, visit livingontheedge
.org. you'll discover a wealth of valuable tools
we've created to equip you in your walk with
Jesus. So check out livingontheedge .org today.
Well, with that, here again is Chip with part
two of his talk, All You Need Is Love, from 1
Corinthians chapter 13. Many of us live very
hurried, overextended, complex lives with shallow,
superficial relationships, even with our closest
friends and families. Because we have unconsciously
learned to believe performing well, possessing
much, and providing stuff is what life is all
about. Your value as a person, your significance,
you got to perform well. Who you are, what you
do, what people think has to do with possessing.
Some of it's intangible and some of it is very
tangible. How you doing with this? Boy, it's
quiet in here, isn't it? And this isn't, you
know what? This is, you don't get a free pass
on this because you're a pastor. As I've looked
at my DNA and my schedule, and when I look at
the list of not what I say, but the list of what
does my behavior say? What does my schedule scream?
Where does my money go? I feel like there's a
constant battle of fighting against this belief
system that possessing, performing, and even
that altruistic I'm going to provide for can
get me going at a pace that isn't good for my
soul. It isn't good for my marriage. It isn't
good for my parenting or grandparenting. And
it kills friendships. So if that's the diagnosis,
what would the doctor say? What would the simplify
your life doctor say? Here's a prescription for
transformation. Three things he would say. He
gets his little pad out. You know, put your shirt
back on. I'll be right back in just a second.
Little prescription pads coming out. Number one,
the secret to simplifying your life is focus.
Now this isn't earth shattering, is it? You're
trying to do too much. Oh, you're trying to accomplish
too much. Oh, you're trying to get your kids
involved in too much. Oh, you need to do less,
but do it better, deeper, more relational, but
you need to do the things that matter most. Oh,
okay. Knowing that we've all done that and tried
that, and it lasts for two days to two weeks,
depending on our personalities. Rx number two,
you can only do less when you purpose. To love
more. This for me is the biggest aha of the series
in this message. I have tried many, many times
to tweak my schedule, right? I'll do a little
less of this, a little less of that. And I already,
I go to bed early. I get up real early. I mean,
I've read time management books like you all
have. I do my A's first before I do my B's and
I do my C's. I do know how to multitask. And
I'm one very intense person. And yet I watch
it just multiply, multiply, multiply until different
seasons of my life, I feel like I've got the
seven plates spinning or juggling the balls.
And then somehow, well, that can lay there for
a couple minutes and it'll give my attention
over here. Ooh, that's my marriage. It can't
lay there very long. And what, you've done it,
right? If just tweaking things was about intelligence,
I'm talking to a really smart group of people
who you would have figured that out by now. This
is a lifestyle issue. This is a mindset issue.
And this pressure and this demand has us going
all these different directions and then sedating
our pain and our loneliness with videos and technology
and food and unhealth. And that's why we have
so many addiction issues. Because right before
people get ready to crack, they just find a substitute
to make them feel better. I was in, South Africa
and afterwards went to Zimbabwe and I have to
visit orphans. And it was, yes, we want to help
the orphans. And my wife and I have been financially
supporting a ministry we really believe in, but
it, great. It wasn't, am I going to check it
out? I knew it was going to be good before I
got there. What I knew was at the pace that I
live with the new things that I've taken on,
unless I look into the eyes of little orphan
kids who live in shacks, And unless I feel their
pain and see what the third world is like, I
will just go faster and faster and try and do
things bigger and better and faster and more,
bigger and better and faster and more. And just
because they're spiritual, they can make your
life just as crazy. And so I remember in Zimbabwe,
it was the second home. I'd been doing some teaching
and our group visited a couple different homes
and they have a gated place and you go into the
home and they have like eight or 10 girls and
an auntie and a grandmother and they teach them
the Bible and they get a good meal. And we went
in the back and they're teaching the garden to
feed them and then had a chicken run where they're
raising chickens for their food. But I got out
of the car and this little girl, in fact, she
was about this tall, so she's a little heavier
than I'd hoped. She just walked up to me like
this and went, So I got her, and I put her on
my hip, and we walked around for a while, and
she seemed to really enjoy that, and it was kind
of like, we're going to go to the back. Do you
want to walk? And I'm thinking, my back says
it would be nice if you walked. And she just
put her arms around me. No. I said, well, what's
your name? She goes, Blessing. I thought, that's
interesting. And so we went around back, and
she was on my hip for about 25 or 30 minutes.
Actually, I had to change hips. And then we had
a little girl that was 13 years old that was
taken off the streets when she was about five.
And you don't know what it's like for a little
girl in Zimbabwe or around the world in these
countries that are on the streets with no parent
at five, six, four, seven. Just let your imagination
go, and it's a little bit worse than that. And
this little girl, after now four and a half years,
five years in this home, was amazingly articulate.
And not only amazingly articulate, but she began
to talk about, not just parroting verses that
she'd memorized. I have a relationship with Jesus
now. I get to eat every day. But the most important
thing is, and she looked up because a pastor
comes like every other day there along with the
auntie and the grandmother. She says, I have
a family and I'm loved. And she just beamed.
And I just thought, you know, I just sat and
I thought with blessed on my hip, these kids,
possess what so many of us are chasing after.
You know what? They're not taking drugs to fall
asleep at night. They're not wondering how to
balance 75 to -dos. The simplicity of their life.
I love God. I love these people. They love me.
We want to help others in the way that we've
been helped. And I just thought, That is a blessing.
And what I realized for me was the only way,
this was a big ha -ha. I've tried to do less,
but other stuff creeps in, right? There's always
that great opportunity. And it always comes with,
here's a great opportunity. It's right down the
middle of the plate. And by the way, this great
opportunity is only gonna come now. And if you
don't swing at it right now, your kids are gonna
miss it or you're gonna miss it or the business
is gonna miss it. And it's strategic and it's
great. And you can do this and you can add it
to your schedule. You're not gonna take anything
off, but you're gonna mentally say, act like
you are. And so one more thing gets on there,
right? And I just realized my no isn't strong
enough to keep stuff off my plate. until I have
a lot stronger yes. How did I have two weeks
to go be with orphans? And when I was with them
and I was with these pastors and when I saw the
third world afresh, all of a sudden, some of
the stuff that felt so demanding and some of
the people and things I needed to say no to,
it's easy to say no to doing less when you're
saying yes to loving more. The third RX is begin
to redefine success. Begin to redefine success
from how did I do? That's a performance question.
Mom, how did I do? Dad, how did I do? Teacher,
how did I do? Coach, how did I do? Corporate
earnings, how did I do? Change that to who am
I becoming? You might write above the question,
how did I do performance? Then put an arrow.
Who am I becoming? That's a character question.
What do I have? That's possessions. Put an arrow
from that and move it to how am I using it? Not
what do I have? How am I using it? That's a,
you move from possessions to stewardship. And
the third question is how much do I give? What
if you change that question to why do I give?
So it goes from providing to motive. What we
have before us is one of the greatest in all
of biblical history. But I want to tell you,
the Apostle Paul did not sit down one day and
say, you know something? I would like to write
a literary masterpiece. I'd like to write something
that people, whether they were Christians or
non -Christians all over the world, when there
was ever a wedding, they would read this. I want
to provide something for people who love to decoupage.
I want plaques to be filled in future Christian
stores all over the world. I want it to be put
with little lists of poems. You know, Ralph,
Waldo, Emerson, Apostle Paul. If I speak with
the tongues of men and of angels, yet have not
love, right? If I prophesy, you know, he was
not trying to do that. In fact, what you're going
to find is we're going to spend our time and
we're going to walk through this. He doesn't
even define love in 1 Corinthians 13. He gives
us 15 descriptions of love, beginning at verse
four. And in the 15 descriptions, I'll show you
a little bit later, he takes at least 15 of their
dysfunctional, hurtful, bad. superficial, relational
fallout behaviors, and every one of these things
is a corrective so that they will be loving in
their relationships. This is a very practical
chapter. He's talking about instead of suing
one another, here's how you do. Instead of feeling
hurt and rejected and betrayed and gossiping
about people, here's what you do. Instead of
living this way, here's what you do. Instead
of shacking up with your mother -in -law and
being sexually immoral, here's what you do. I
mean, this church had major problems. But if
we're going to love more, the danger is that
we will think that love is a ooey -gooey feeling.
And now I have, I feel better, God. I had 17
.5 seconds of ooey -gooey feelings with my wife
and 11 .7 seconds of ooey -gooey feelings with
one of my kids. Or I'm a single person and I
had coffee and we had a deep talk and I feel
better. Now, all those things may be good. But
here's the question. If simplifying your life
never works by just saying you're gonna do less,
but the secret is loving more, the fundamental
question is, what is love and how do you practice
it? What does it really mean to be loving? And
I'm gonna get us started and we're gonna start
real small and we're gonna learn to start loving
what love really is, not an emotion, not a good
feeling. but a choice to treat other people in
a way that you don't have the power apart from
God giving it to you. But we're gonna learn to
love other people. And I want you to start with
those closest to you. Family, friends, spouse,
irritating in -laws. And so notice what he says.
Verse four, love is patient, love is kind. It
does not envy, it does not boast, it's not proud.
Just underline love is patient, love is kind.
That's all I'm gonna cover today. We're gonna
take one baby step toward how to become more
loving people because as your love will get deeper
and deeper and practical this week, you will
gravitate and spend energy and time there and
you'll start doing less and loving more. You're
listening to Living on the Edge. We'll get you
back to today's program in just a second. But
first, did you know that other believers are
paramount to your faith journey? Keep listening
after this message as Chip explains why and highlights
some resources we have to get you into authentic
community today. Stick around to learn more.
But for now, here again is Chip. Love is patient.
The word is macrothumus. Macro meaning broad
or to spread out. Thumus has the idea of passion.
Some translators say it is to have a long, long
suffering. The idea is only used, it's not in
reference to being patient with circumstances.
This word has to do with being patient with people.
This is that when someone says a little remark
that hurts your feelings and so you shut down
and turn on the remote. This is someone who,
you know, you wanted to be romantic on a certain
evening and you got turned down. So you decide,
you know what? I'm just not gonna respond to
her. or him. This is that little comment that
your parents make, and you just say, well, forget
it. I'm going to shut my door and, you know,
video game. This is someone at school who says
something to you to hurt your feelings, and you
just find yourself telling another friend what
a jerk, and how she's stuck up, and who does
he think he is. This is a different way to respond
to hurt. Basically, love is patient, love is
kind. He's addressing the same issue. It's one
coin. The issue is this and write this down.
How do I respond when people hurt me? And you
don't have to be in the church long to know you're
gonna get hurt. And we hurt one another in families
and we hurt one another in friends and we hurt
one another in ball teams and we hurt one another
in business. How do you respond when a word or
an action or a neglect or someone doesn't invite
you or someone says something about you? How
do you respond when there's a little hurt or
a wound? My reaction is, I'm gonna do it back.
Or I'll passive aggressively say, did you hear
what he did to me? Or she did that, therefore,
you know, some of you will lash out with your
words. Some of you will pay back later. Some
of you will passive aggressively leak and be
sarcastic. Some of you will cut your parents
off. This passage says, you wanna learn to become
loving. Here's what it says. Love is patient.
Then the word kind is only used in this form
in the New Testament. And it's giving a undeserved
response of goodness, winsomeness, and encouragement
to the person who's wounded you. Love absorbs
the blow and returns a hug. And it says, you
don't deserve this and I can't give it in my
strength. But you said that to me and it hurt
my feeling. I'm going to go to the bedroom and
I'm going to forgive you. And now I'm going to
think about how could I affirm and encourage
you? Because most people who hurt you, it usually
comes out of a wound in their own life. Can you
imagine what's going to happen in relationships
if that's all we do? Love absorbs the blow and
gives a hug. Now, some of you have some historic
situations and there's some abuse situations
and issues that you have kind of in background.
And this does not mean that, you know, you go
home now and say that, you know, the father that
abused you sexually, you know, do you think we
could form a meeting? I learned from God I'm
supposed to hug you. No, no, no, no, okay? Let's
not oversimplify. There's issues and boundaries.
But let's just start with the everyday relationships
of where we live in our homes. or in our apartments
with roommates, and at work, and our neighborhood.
And let's say, what would happen if we absorbed
the blow like a pillow and we returned a hug?
It's really what Jesus did, isn't it? When he
was on the cross, he was hurt, rejected, beaten.
And it wasn't just by those people, it was by
our sin. And what would he do? He absorbed the
blow. into your hands, Lord, I commit my spirit.
And then he died. He rose from the dead and his
father forgave him. He was kind. He loved. And
we're going to learn, you know what that does?
It never fails. It's powerful. This is supernaturally
responding to evil with good. This is just normal
for God's people. And so let me give you a little
assignment. What does your life and schedule
indicate you want to be known for? That would
be a real honest one to answer, wouldn't it?
Second, what's the biggest barrier to you slowing
down and simplifying your life? Jot that down.
Have coffee and talk with someone that you can
trust that's safe over that one. Third, how can
you begin to be more loving this week and with
whom? Let's get to one person. Just as you're
thinking right now, write someone's name down.
Who is it that has a little wound, a little hurt,
a little dissing, you feel a little rejection?
Who could you just absorb the blow, forgive them,
and give them a hug of some sorts? Might be a
note. Might be a word of encouragement. Might
be bringing something up and telling them you
forgive them. I don't know what it is. God will
show you. And then here, finally, why is it so
critical to understand? How much God loves you
in order to become more loving. So your first
assignment, are you ready? Your first assignment
is not go be more patient and kind and loving.
Your first assignment is to let God do that for
you. Some of us, the reason it's so hard to love,
we don't let God love us. When we mess up, we
beat ourselves up. We feel condemned. I'll try
harder. Yesterday, I did one of the dumbest moves
in my car probably in the last 10 years. And
I got in the wrong lane. And then I cut over
about two and a half lanes to make a freeway
exit. And as I pulled through, and I kind of
had it, but I did it too fast. I did it too quick.
And then I didn't see it. And a guy was out in
the crosswalk. And, you know, he got by. And
I just, because I was in a hurry, I mean, I just
thought. And then it was real quiet. Teresa looked
at me like, oh, my. And she should have just
wailed on me. And I finally said, are you okay?
She goes, yeah. She goes, you know, you almost
hit that guy. I said, I know it. And then I thought
of. how my whole life could be different because
of a hurried, stupid, foolish act. And then I
started on this journey of, you know, Chip, you
know, you're not this, you're not this, you're
not this, you're not this. And because of this
message, instead, I just stopped. I said, you
know, God, thank you for not giving me the consequences
I may have deserved. And for that man, I just
totally blew it. Father, I'm so sorry. I want
to remember you're patient with me. I'm going
to receive your forgiveness right now. And for
some of you, you'll never be patient with others
until you let God be that for you. You're listening
to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. And the
message you just heard, All You Need Is Love,
is from our series, Spiritual Simplicity. Chip
will join us in studio to share some insights
from today's talk in just a minute. Most of us
live very hectic lives, moving too fast, demanding
too much, and delivering too little. If you're
desperate for an alternative that actually works,
then this study is for you. Chip's teaching will
help you escape this destructive pattern and
reveal how to better prioritize what matters
most and love others in a fresh, revolutionary
way. If you've missed any part of this series,
catch up anytime through the Chip Ingram app.
Well, Chip's back with me in studio, and Chip,
in this series, we're learning what it means
to do less and love more. And a practical way
we can do that is by being part of a genuine
community of believers. Take a minute, if you
would, and explain why that's an essential part
of our Christian walk. Well, Dave, I'll tell
you. I don't want to oversimplify, but Jesus
said, I came that you might have life. and have
it more abundantly. At the heart of the Christian
life, it's allowing Jesus to live his life through
you by the power of the Holy Spirit, rooted in
the Word of God in the context of community.
And that little word, bio, means life. And so
I've just taken that acronym here, Living on
the Edge, and it simplifies it for me. If you
want the life of Christ lived out, it means B,
you have to get before God daily and before him
with other people weekly in worship. The I is
for in community. You have to do life with people
heart to heart, face to face. And the O is on
mission 24 -7. What I've seen so much is people
have lost the in community aspect. It's impossible
to obey the word of God to experience life by
yourself. So what we've done is we've put all
of our small group resources on sale to encourage
you to get in community. Get with a group of
people. Watch the videos on your own, then discuss
them. Do it live. Do it online. Do it however
it works best. But take the next step. Get in
community. You'll never regret it. Thanks, Chip.
Well, we have a growing library of small group
resources on a wide range of topics, and they're
so easy to use. Chip provides the teaching. Then
you'll have time to discuss what you've heard
alongside our helpful study guides. We also offer
some insights for leaders to effectively lead
their groups. If you're not in a small group
yet or looking for your next topic to study,
check out our resources. And as Chip said, for
a limited time, we've discounted all of our small
group resources so you can get into community
today. To learn more, go to livingontheedge .org
or call us at 888 -333 -6003. That's 888 -333
-6003 or livingontheedge .org. App listeners
tap special offers. Well, with that, Chip, let's
get to your application we promised. Thanks,
Dave. You know, as we close today's program,
it brought to my mind the story that I told at
the very end of today's broadcast where I'm just
going to be honest with you. Earlier in my life,
and it's not all that long ago, I mean, I was
that person that was always looking for which
lane, you know, is moving faster, and I'd go
to that lane and that lane. In that story, I
don't know why, but I was in a real hurry, and
I moved from lane to lane to lane, and I looked
one way, then the other, and then I started to
pull out. And, you know, the guy had a, you know,
the little white sign that says he can walk,
and he was walking, and I looked up, and I mean,
I slammed on the brakes, and my heart stopped.
I came within about a foot of hitting that guy,
and I would have not hit him a little. It would
have been really, really bad. And I remember
the emotion just as I rethink that in my mind
and the look that I got from Teresa and realized,
I mean, my whole life or that guy's life could
be completely different if I would have hit him.
And praise God, I didn't. But what it hit at
my heart was, Chip, why are you in such a hurry?
Where are you going that's so much more important
than everyone else? And this series was birthed
some time ago. And I just want to tell you, because
sometimes, you know, we all hear a message or
we hear a series and, you know, we move on and
we make some small applications, but you need
to look back a year or two and not that much
changed. I have to tell you, I studied this passage
and got new insights from 1 Corinthians 13, and
it started a transformation in my life. And the
transformation was to slow down. I remember Dallas
Willard. talking about how impossible it is to
grow spiritually and to grow deep if you're in
a hurry. John Mark Comer later wrote a book built
much off of what Dallas Willard and John Ortberg
had written about ruthlessly eliminating hurry
from your life. But here's what I want to say
to you. You're never going to love more unless
you slow down. And one of my practices was when
I went to the grocery store, and I did this for
like six months, I got in the longest line. When
I got in traffic, I did this for actually almost
two years. I had to break my addiction. I drove
in the right -hand lane. It was painful. And
I just thought, you know, I guess I'm going to
go the speed limit and stay here. And if there
was a super slow car, I'd go around it and then
get back in that right lane. And what I found
is my stress went down. I had time to think.
I wasn't in a hurry. I'm going to ask you today,
just this week for the next seven days, would
you be willing to drive in the right -hand lane
and not go fast? Just this week, if you don't
like that one, would you be willing, when you
go to the grocery store, how about this? Not
the shortest line or not the longest line. How
about the middle line? And refuse to look back
and forth to see which one's moving the fastest.
and relax in that line and refuse to pull out
your phone and try and accomplish something,
you might find that if you become present with
where you are and you slow down your life, you
will start to experience the very things that
God wants most for you. Love. Great word, Chip.
And as we close, I want you to know that as a
staff, we ask the Lord to help you take whatever
your next faith step is. And we'd love to hear
how it's going. Would you take a minute and send
us a quick note or give us a call? Either one
is easy. Email us at chipatlivingontheedge .org
or call 888 -333 -6003. That's 888 -333 -6003
or email chipatlivingontheedge .org. We can't
wait to hear from you. For Chip and the entire
team here, this is Dave Drewy, thanking you for
listening to this edition of Living on the Edge,
and I hope you'll join us again next time.