Do you know someone that has an addiction, alcohol,
drugs, eating disorder, and they were doing so
well and then they fell off the wagon? How do
you keep from falling into temptation? How do
we keep from falling into the very thing that
we know we don't want to do but find ourselves
repeatedly failing? The answer to that is today.
Thanks for listening to this edition of Living
on the Edge with Chip Ingram. We are an international
teaching and discipleship ministry motivating
Christians to live like Christians. We're in
the middle of our series, Balancing Life's Demands.
We hope Chip's words have challenged you to refocus
and reprioritize your life on what matters most.
And to help others experience a more joyful and
peaceful life, take a minute after the message
and share it with someone. You can do that through
the Chip Ingram app or wherever you listen to
podcasts. Thanks for passing on what you're learning
through this series. Well, with that, let's join
Chip now for the second half of his talk, How
to Keep First Things First. How can some of the
most committed, gifted people in all the body
of Christ, both in Bible times and our times,
how in the world can you get off track? And hopefully
in your heart of hearts, you're saying, I don't
ever want to get off track, and I don't know
how I could get off track, but... Gosh, if Paul
thinks he could get off track and of all those
people, the nation of Israel got off track and
some people that were my heroes got off track,
I guess I could. But how? I mean, what happens?
You and I underestimate the power of our own
sinful passions. Paul will pick up the story
after reaching in and giving us his spiritual
view of those children of Israel. Then he...
In verse 6 through 11, he explains, now these
things happened as examples or a type for us.
Those things he just talked about. That we should
not crave evil things as they craved. And do
not be idolaters as some of them were, as it
is written. The people sat down to eat and drink
and stood up to play. Nor let us act immorally
as some of them did. And 23 ,000 fell in one
day. Nor let us try the Lord or test the Lord
as some of them did and were destroyed by the
serpents. Nor grumble as some of them did and
were destroyed by the destroyer. Now these things
happen to them as, notice the repetition, an
example and they are written for our instruction
upon which the ends of the ages have come. I
want you to circle the word example. First line.
and in the last. And once you realize, his point
is, I'm making the example. Now, if we had a
lot more time, and for some of you that really
love to do Bible study, did you notice a lot
of these phrases? He is, I mean, he's pulling
out the whole big stories of the Old Testament,
right? And so here, let me do some quick Bible
study with you. Just, okay, I want you to put
a line under crave evil things. It was, what
he's saying is, There are passions. In fact,
it's an intensive form. There's a word for cravings
or lust or passions. This has a prefix. It's
an intensified form. So he's saying they had
supercharged lusts and passions and drives that
they fulfilled outside of God's plan. And then
he goes on to say, put a box around the word
idolaters. At the heart, always at the heart.
of us falling away from the living God is we
make someone or something the idol or the God
in his place. And guess what? It can be your
mate. Are you ready? It can be your ministry.
Yes, it can be your money. It can be a car. It
can be another woman, another man. But anything
or anyone that takes the rightful place of your
loyalty and allegiance is an idol. He's saying,
We have passions, we have drives, we're tempted
in the world to satisfy them in different ways.
And so what's he say? He says, they come out
as idolaters as some of them did. Then notice
he's going to, I'm gonna ask you to put a, gosh,
have we done lines? We've done boxes. Let me
give you three more boxes because I don't know
whether we ought to do lines, circles or boxes.
But when he says, nor let us act immorally, would
put a box around, act immorally. That's the lust
of the flesh. Skip down and put, it's hard to
put a box around, Try or test the Lord. He's
talking about the story of the envy of Moses.
That's the lust of the eyes. And then put a box
around the word grumble. That's the pride of
life. We want that power. And all I'm telling
you is this is just so basic, and he's given
us this picture. He says... You constantly underestimate
the power of your own sinful passions. I don't
care how much Bible, how long you've been a Christian,
on certain days, at a certain time, you have
these desires in different windows and different
seasons. And it can be difficulty or loneliness
or travel or pain or sickness or some unresolved
anger or an injustice. And in that window of
time, you know, maybe only one out of 100 ,000
times you would act on that lustful, sinful passion.
But he says, you better understand. that you,
David, and everybody else, you can fall off and
make mistakes that you'd regret the rest of your
life. But it's an amazing thing is when we know
there's going to be, my behavior's going to be
brought into the light, it really helps me not
go into the darkness. I mean, when you know,
and you're not gonna pretend, you're not gonna
fake it. In fact, I made a note to myself, did
you ever wonder why so much sin occurs late at
night and away from people? So much sin occurs
in very dim, dark rooms. So much sin occurs out
of town, often among people who don't know one
another well, when people are all alone, and
when people are under great stress. Every one
of those things has you in a place where there's
not accountability. There's not the sense that...
The lie is you won't be found out. The truth
is your sin will always find you out and my sin
will always find me out. And so all I'm saying
is, you know what? I'm trying to persuade you.
Are you starting to get persuaded? I'm trying
to tell you that you can't live without this.
I don't care what new lines that you say, you
know what? I'm gonna put first things first.
I'm gonna develop that discipline. It's gonna
be in this area and that area and I'm gonna honor
God. I implore you to say, is gonna go there
with me. What group of guys can I do this with?
What group of women as a woman can I do this
with? And in cases, what set of couples could
we dream some dreams together in inappropriate
ways, be very honest. The fourth reason is because
we constantly overestimate our ability to handle
temptation. We underestimate the power of our
passions or our sinful passions, and we overestimate
our ability to handle temptation. I mean, some
of you, and you don't mean it like this, but
just in your subconscious, you're just thinking,
I would never do that. I would never do that.
I mean, I'm past that. Those things don't affect
me. I mean, we're just friends. It's platonic.
Those kind of movies, I know some people struggle
with them, but not me. They're a little bit racy
in places. Or this is... It could appear this
way, but we're both very mature Christians, and
I'm sure nothing would ever come of this relationship.
What's Paul say? He applies this passage, therefore
let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he
fall. You might jot down Hebrews 3 .13. It's
one of my favorite passages. It says, encourage
one another day after day, lest any one of you
be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. You
know, the word deceitful means you don't know,
you don't get it. And notice it's about your
heart. It always starts there. Your heart gets
hardened. In fact, Jesus said that is the core
reason for divorce. He says men's hearts, women's
hearts, they get hardened. And that's why we're
to be tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just
as God in Christ also has forgiven us. But I
encourage, get that? But encourage one another.
And encouragement isn't like high -fiving. Oh,
you're wonderful. I'm wonderful. Isn't life happy?
This word is that parakaleo. It's translated
in some places as the word for the Holy Spirit.
It's one who comes alongside. Encouragement is
you come alongside another person, and sometimes
it means you tell them really hard stuff. Sometimes
it just means you listen and support, and sometimes
you just say, I'm so proud of you. But it's doing
life together. It's caring. I just... I just
want in my heart and mind to just sort of say
to myself, Chip, on any given day, in the exact
right circumstances, you are capable of sin beyond
your wildest imagination. So you need to make
pre -decisions about where you'll go and what
you'll do and who you'll hang with. And you need
to have a group of people. That you can surround
yourself with that love you, that you invite
into your life and say, you know what? Here's
my heart, here's my life, here's my motives,
here's my struggles. This is what I'm going through
in my life. Where are you going? And if you don't
have that, you'll start faking it. And you'll
have these temptations and you'll have thoughts.
And you'll feel like, well, I can't. Well, actually,
it leads to the very next and last reason. The
fifth reason that we need biblical accountability
is we naively believe our struggles and temptations
are unique. See, I need it because I think, I
mean, well, whether I like it or not, I've been
a pastor for like 25 years, and people view me
as a Christian leader, so I guess I'm a Christian
leader, and then I have this profile, Christian
leaders. I bet they never struggle with this,
and I guess now I'm a Christian leader, so if
I ever struggle with that, something must be
wrong with me. I'm a man. And you're a man or
a woman or a student. And no temptation has ever
taken me or ever taken you, but what is common
to man. But God will, with the temptation, provide
a way of escape that you might be able to endure
it. You're listening to Living on the Edge, and
we'll get back to Chip's message in just a minute.
But first, if you're in a small group and are
looking for what to study next, consider the
Balancing Life's Demand small group. The resource
for this series will help you realign your priorities
and experience a more joy -filled life. Stick
around after the teaching for complete details.
But for now, here again is Chip. One time someone
said, you know, I don't know how you do it, Chip,
because sometimes when you talk, I feel like
you're just talking to me, like you're reading
my mind. This verse is my preaching verse. Now,
this may sound crazy, but any area I've ever
struggled with in my life, I make this assumption.
So does everybody else. And then it's like, I'm
not, you know, I've told you I'm insecure, just
like everybody else in this room. I'm not overly
vulnerable. I'm just thinking to myself, let's
see, if every guy I've ever met, apart from the
comatose guy, struggle with lust at some level.
Every woman I've ever met at some level struggles
with self -image. Okay, everyone gets overextended.
I mean, everyone has unresolved anger issues
in your marriage. Everyone has, some season in
your marriage, you have problems with communication,
sex, in -laws, and kids, right? I mean, duh.
So I don't think it's not like, oh. I mean, you
know, when you start talking about a few of those
things, it's like, oh, gosh, what's wrong with
him? You know what I get is, ah, he's one of
us, you know. And that's, you know what you need?
You need people that you don't have to have pretense
with. You know, I wrote down a couple things,
and I've been in some good men's group and some
good brothers. You need to be able to say to
someone, you know what, I know it may not sound
very spiritual, especially in our church and
our denomination, but I think I'm clinically
depressed. Could you kind of help me know? I
haven't kind of gone through when and how and
why. Is medication good or not good and how long
and who did you talk to? There's people that
are clinically depressed and they don't have
anyone to talk to because it's like the unpardonable
sin in their little group. Or a guy says, you
know what? This is really, like, really weird,
and it just only happened once. It just flashed
through my mind, but it scared me to death. I
had a homosexual urge. You know what that is?
I don't know what that is. I mean, ah, you know.
Or I was just driving one day, and as I was driving
down the road, I was just feeling kind of low,
and I just thought, you know, I'm just sick of
all the pressure. And I was just, I was driving
real fast, and there was a curve coming, and
I just, I don't know why, it came out of the
blue. I just thought to myself, I think I'll
go straight. I think I'll just floor it. I got
some insurance. I'm not down, I'm not depressed,
but I'm just sick of life. And as you're going,
these thoughts are going through your mind, and
you think, oh, I'd never do that, but it's kind
of getting closer, and then, you know, good,
godly, amazing, committed, Bible study, teachers,
leaders, moms, grandparents, men, women, you
have some of those thoughts. Well, welcome to
the human race. I mean, I remember I was teaching
a series on spiritual warfare, and as I was studying
that, and there was a lot of that in California,
and I remember praying, and I mean, one of the
things that God took away early and miraculously,
some things I really had to work through, I just
remember like three weeks after I was a Christian,
God just went, thing, and I quit cussing. And
I mean, I tried before. I had a bad mouth, and
you know, locker room and all that jazz, and
I mean, I just quit. So I hadn't cussed like
in 20 years. And I was praying and I'm before
the throne of God. And I mean, it's just stuff
was going through my mind. It was like, what's
happening to me? You know, gosh, is this like
God saying, you're not a very good pastor anymore.
And you know, my initial thought was, I'm going
insane. What's happened to me? And then I thought,
wait, wait a second, hold it. Temptation is not
the same thing as sin. Temptation means there's
an opportunity to be lured away in some way.
You know, looking at a very attractive woman
and going, wow, very attractive is not the same
as lusting for her. And, you know, as a mature
believer, I can say, Lord, man, sunsets are beautiful
and the trees are beautiful. She's beautiful.
And that's look number one. Now I want to thank
you for what you made beautiful for me, Teresa.
But I'm not going to beat myself up all day because,
whoa. I mean, I'm a man. God gave me eyes, and
they're attracted to certain things when a woman
is beautiful. And ladies, I mean, you know, you
have to feel bad every time you see a beautiful
room decorated, and your first thought is, that
would look so good here, but we'd have to remodel.
We just did that four years ago. You know, the
sin is when you start planning and figuring out
how you're going to get your husband into doing
that deal, right? But the point I want to make
is because we naively believe our struggles and
temptations are unique, we start to hide the
ones that we think we're too mature or we shouldn't
have. And I just want to go back to secrecy is
where the enemy will bombard you with doubts
and struggles and condemnation. You know what?
When you have a struggle, let me tell you what
the Spirit does. It's specific. It's sin, righteousness,
judgment, repent because I love you. Condemnation
is vague. You're a terrible person. You know,
you're a lousy this, you're a lousy that. You
know why God put you on this. It's general. It's
vague. Condemnation makes you not like you, not
like God, and not want to pray. Conviction is
a light shining on something that needs to be
addressed, and you lift it into the light, and
just like bacteria out of the darkness, when
the light hits the bacteria, and so that the
fellowship can be restored. If you confess, agree
with God about your sins, he's faithful, and
just to what? Forgive, release you of all your
sins, and cleanse you. of all unrighteousness.
What's he say about this biblical accountability?
He says, what's the summary? Therefore, my beloved,
flee from idolatry. See, at the heart of it,
at the heart of it all is that I end up me worshiping
me. It's really not about the sex. It's about
the ego. It's really not about the food. It's
about the ego. It's not about the business and
the work. It's about the ego. At the end of the
day, the core of sin is gonna come back to in
any and all of these is God gets taken off the
throne, my way, my control, my agenda, a world
system, lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes,
pride of life, promising me security, significance,
value, and worth apart from God. I bite on the
bait. I make an idol. And then Paul says, and
if I happen that, I get disqualified. Disqualified
for my relationship of eternal life? No. Disqualified
as a useful vessel of honor and disqualified
not only of use by God, but bringing incredible,
incredible pain in the lives of others. There's
no such thing as private sins. Every sin I commit,
every sin you commit has ripples. Some of them
you may never see, but they have ripples. Even
the ones that no one else has found out about,
they have ripples. So I've given you five reasons
to say, dear God, I not only want, I am committed
to having biblical accountability in my life.
I mean, Paul needed it. I need it. 1 Corinthians
10 outlines clearly we all need it. So, How do
you get it? How does it work? Let me give you
some practical, I guess I call them spiritual
tips on getting there. Number one, it begins
at home. When we talk about accountability too
often, we jump into places outside. Start with
the people that you live with. I think there's
appropriate things as men better off to share
with men and women with women. I'm very super
open with my wife, but there are certain things
that, you know what? My wife is not a man. She
doesn't really understand. And I need some guys
that I can share that with and her vice versa.
But I think you've got to start in your home,
your marriage partner or your roommates. I mean,
they see you. See, in those accountability groups,
you can do, man, it's smoke and mirrors. Oh,
yeah, you know, yeah, yeah. Tell you what, you
don't do that at home. It's like you left the
dishes here and you didn't clean up this here
and you said that over here. And, you know, you're
saying all the spiritual jazz. I'm living with
you. It's not matching. So you start at home.
Second, it's an atmosphere of love, tender, compassionate,
someone who's rooting for you. You don't need
to become, and you don't need a spiritual Gestapo.
So, you didn't read your Bible today, huh? You
blew it. I mean, I don't need that. I mean, I
want people to be straightforward, but just,
I want someone who really loves me. They'll be
tough when they need to be tough, but even when
they're tough, I want to see a little tear or
their eyes getting watery when they have mustered
up the courage to confront me about something
they know could split our relationship, and they're
being really tough, but I can feel behind the
toughness. Man, they love me. Third, it must
be voluntary and by permission. There is no need
for another junior Holy Spirit in your life.
You have one who has the job. And so people who
come to you and I would like to be your accountability
partner and I can help you grow. Thank you, no.
By the way, I think this is one you need to really
negotiate. It is really hard. Some of you are
in these sort of semi -imbalanced kind of relationships
and you're the wife and you're in the Bible and
you love God and you're going to church and your
husband's sort of, you know, not so close. And,
you know, it's like as he gets up, here's a Bible
passage opened, and here's a CD by so -and -so.
And by the way, honey, I'll pick up your favorite
meal if you just go to church with us. And just
forget that jazz. Let God work. You let your
chaste behavior and how you live say, I'll tell
you what, if this love in Jesus makes you love
me the way you love me, then, honey, you just
keep going to church, and I might even check
it out. Let God, and vice versa. So, you know,
it's got to be by permission. We don't go out
and hold other people accountable. Four, it must
be specific, not generic. I mean, this sort of,
hey, why don't you meet? We all have coffee.
And so, how are you doing in general? I'm doing
pretty good in general. How are you doing in
general? I'm doing pretty good in general. So,
what do you think of those Falcons? In our place,
they actually won a game. Amen. Or, hey, you
think the Cardinals are, you know. Going to be
any good this year, that quarterback change?
Or, I don't know, have you seen the last of Southern
Living Magazine? I thought it was so cute the
way that, you know. And isn't it good to be in
these accountability groups? It just makes me
feel warm all over. And we kid ourselves thinking
that something's happening. It needs to be specific.
You might even put some things in writing and
say, you know what, as we meet together, These
are the things we want to cover. I have a fellow.
He's that dad figure, and I'll never forget.
I was in Dallas, and he has permission, and we
talk on a regular basis, and he's real funny.
He has a flat top and kind of looks at me like
this, and he said, okay, why are we waiting on
our food? Are you ready? And, you know, it's
like a game show or something. I said, AC, man,
what are you doing? He goes, well, are you ready?
So, yeah, he takes his wallet, and he has this
little laminated thing and real small print,
and he has questions. Question number one. Have
you any time since we last met been on the internet
and watched anything inappropriate? Question
number two. And I mean, he goes through my thought
life, my time, my money, my ego. And then the
last question after is like five basic areas.
He goes, question number six. Have you lied to
me on questions one through five? And you know
what? He knows me and he's kind of goofy. He
knew it'd be uncomfortable. He knew it'd be the
kind of thing that, you know, it's always awkward.
But guess what? I got a safe place to go. Anybody
ask you those questions? You asking anybody those
questions? According to this passage, until the
day you take your last breath and I take my last
breath, there'll be struggles in those areas,
right? So it needs to be specific. And by the
way, every time it doesn't need to be like hardcore,
all right, you know. But, you know, you build
relationship and you build trust, but we're going
to be specific about some things. My rule of
thumb is no more than four people unless there's
unique relationships of closeness that allow
for more. And I think two is not great because
we start getting blind spots for one another.
I mean, it's okay. I think mentoring relationships
are great, but for accountability, there's something
healthy about having someone listen to stuff
and say, because what you do is you're vulnerable
when you're really being open, and you only have
one set of eyes looking at what's going on. I
want a couple set of eyes. So I have kind of
relationships with a handful of people like this.
The conclusion, making sincere commitments is
tough. Keeping them is next to impossible. Alone.
There's hope. Many start well. Few finish well.
You can be the exception. You can be the exception.
There is no temptation taken to you. There is
no trial taken to you, but such is common to
man. And with that temptation, God will provide
a way of escape. And I'm telling you, the way
to escape is of a cord of three is not easily
broken. You're listening to Living on the Edge
with Chip Ingram. And the message you just heard,
how to keep first things first, is from our series,
Balancing Life's Demands. Chip will join us in
studio to share some insights from today's talk
in just a minute. Are you exhausted juggling
your job, kids, marriage, and everything else
you're responsible for? Do you wish there was
a way to relieve that stress? And live with a
little more joy? Well, in this series, Chip reveals
what a balanced life looks like and how you can
rearrange your priorities around what matters
most. Hear how to experience the joy -filled
and satisfying life God desires for you to have.
Now, if you've missed any part of Chip's teaching,
catch up anytime on the Chip Ingram app. Well,
Chip's here in studio now to talk about a resource
we have that complements our current series.
Thanks, Dave. You know, in today's world, it's
easy to get pulled in a million different directions.
Work, family, church, kids' activities, and everything
in between. And while all of these can be good
things, they leave you feeling depleted, drained,
and often not connected to the people that you
love the most. Let me tell you something. That
is not God's will or God's plan for your life.
And we have a resource specifically designed
to help you cut through the chaos and discover
God's priorities for you and your family. Balancing
Life's Demands is a small group study that will
help you determine your should -dos in Christ
from the could -dos that will steal your joy.
If you want to get out from under the pressure
and enjoy the life that God has in store for
you, Balancing Life's Demands is the perfect
tool. That's absolutely right, Chip. Well, to
get your hands on this small group study, go
to livingontheedge .org or call us at 888 -333
-6003. I think you'll be blown away by how this
resource will declutter your day -to -day, prioritize
what matters most, and lead you to a more peace
-filled life. To order the Balancing Life's Demand
small group, visit livingontheedge .org. or call
888 -333 -6003. App listeners tap special offers.
As we close today's program, we've talked about
the five specific reasons in the last two broadcasts
of why we need accountable relationships. And
then we have defined, and I think this definition
is really important. Accountability is not other
people playing the Holy Spirit and nagging my
life. Accountability is me inviting. trusted
people into my life to help me keep my commitments
to God. Now, here's the other thing. There's
a lot of, quote, accountability groups, all kind
of small groups. But I will tell you, my experience
has been that there's a big problem in these
groups. It's called lying, okay? I'm dead serious.
I have been in accountability groups and have
good friends in accountability groups that people
who... Walked off with someone else's mate. People
who have been involved in fraud at significant
levels were in the accountability group. I think
it's so important that we create an atmosphere
where we really accept one another for who we
are and the struggles that we have. But it's
also an atmosphere where there's some tough love
that goes on. You know, so often I think in the
name of caring for one another, loving one another.
I've been in groups where, you know, someone
shows up seven, eight weeks in a row, doesn't
do the lesson, doesn't memorize the passage,
doesn't be very authentic. And everyone just
keeps giving them a pass like, well, you know,
we're Christians. We don't want to be too hard
on him. Guess what? Sometimes you need to be
hard on people that you love. All discipline
for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful.
Yet those who've been trained by it, afterwards
it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.
I can look back at four or five major times in
my life where people said things to me that I
wanted to get up and hit them. I mean, I can't
believe they said that. And the reason I wanted
to get up and hit them was because they were
absolutely right. When you find people defensive,
And rationalizing, I will tell you, underneath
that is unknown, unresolved patterns of sin that
need to be addressed. Let's really love each
other and stop playing games. Let's be Romans
12 Christians from the inside out. Great challenge,
Chip. In fact, we'd like to help you become a
more dedicated follower of Jesus. So check out
Chip's broadcast series, True Spirituality. As
you walk through Romans chapter 12 with Chip,
you'll uncover the profile of an authentic disciple.
To listen to this series, True Spirituality,
go to special offers at livingontheedge .org
or through the Chip Ingram app. Until next time,
this is Dave Drury saying thanks for listening
to this edition of Living on the Thank you.