Is your to -do list too long? Do you have too
many people wanting your attention? Are you juggling
too many balls and you wonder, God, how do I
slow this down? How do I get my life under control?
If that's you, stay with me. We're going to talk
today about how to put first things first. Welcome
to this edition of Living on the Edge with Chip
Ingram. Our mission is to inspire Christians
to be genuine followers of Jesus and to empower
them to be active disciple makers in our world.
You know, I think it's safe to say we all can
relate to that overwhelmed feeling Chip just
described. When a lot is going on in life, whether
at work or in your family, it can be like chasing
down a runaway train. So today, Chip continues
his series, Balancing Life's Demands, by helping
us slow down and reprioritize what matters most.
He has a lot to share with us, so grab your notes
and Bible, and go to Hebrews chapter 12 as we
join Chip for his talk, How to Put First Things
First. I was a pretty new Christian, and I had
this amazing opportunity to ask Howard Hendricks.
He was one of my heroes and mentors, and I got
to ask him anything I could ask, anything you
wanted to ask him. I grew up in a very dysfunctional
church, one that didn't teach the Bible and had
a lot of hypocrisy, and then I ended up in a
small parachurch ministry where everybody I knew
for the first three years I was a Christian,
I mean everybody, everyone got up and read the
Bible, everyone memorized two or three verses
a week, everyone was in a Bible study. Once you
got to a certain point, no one said it, but you
just knew. Someone has helped you, now you need
to help someone else. Everyone was in some sort
of a mentoring relationship where I knew that
Jerry was helping me and I was helping the two
guys on my floor and I was helping the two guys
on my floor. And so we went from about four or
five people in his living room to 250 college
students in personal Bible study on a secular
campus. It's all I knew. And then I kind of got
onto the real world and I met all these Christians
that said they love God. And by the way, I'm
not saying that everyone needs to do all those
things in that way. Please don't hear that, you
know, that's a list of things everyone needs
to do. All I'm saying is all the Christians I
knew were really, I didn't know they were like
not committed Christians and committed Christians.
You know what I'm saying? It's just those are
the only ones I ever met. And the ones before,
you know, that was a bad, bad scene growing up.
And I remember getting with Prof Hendricks and
I said, Prof, will you tell me something? You
know, you always ask, like, oh, great pooh -paw
of wisdom and knowledge. Then I got to really
know him. He's just a regular guy with lots of
wisdom and knowledge. I said, why is there so
much hypocrisy? You know, once I saw it, I just
thought, why is there just so much hypocrisy
in the church? And I'll never forget, you know,
he said, Chip, I think it might go to something
like this. Most people live with two sets of
priorities. They have one set of priority that
they have written down on a list. If you ask
them, they sincerely believe it. God's first,
family, you know, children, ministry, work. And
they have that on a list. But they have another
set, and that's how they actually live. And so
we have people whose lives are over here, and
their list is over here, and we have this amazing
ability to not see that they don't line up. The
reason why most of us live with two sets of priorities,
I want to give you three reasons here just to
get us going. First, we are deceived. We're deceived.
We honestly don't see the discrepancy between
what we think and say and how we actually live.
And by the way, it's true of all of us. This
isn't like the bad people and the good people.
This is like, are you really, really deceived,
fairly deceived, or just a little deceived, right?
I mean, welcome to the human race. The second
reason we have lived with two sets of priorities
is we are afraid. Though we long sincerely to
put first things first, we simply do not believe
that God will supply our needs if we give him
the first portion of our time, our lives, and
our money. I mean, you don't understand. I can't
squeeze in. I mean, I am overwhelmed, and you're
asking me to add? you know, 15 minutes or a half
hour or 45 minutes to be with God first. You
know, it's kind of like some of you look, are
you on drugs, man? You understand I got three
kids. You understand I got six grandkids. And
see, if you believe that when you give the first
and the best to God, he will begin to clear things
and provide in ways. So a lot of us don't put
things first. And don't live by biblical priorities
because it's really an unbelief issue that's
rooted in fear. You know, we've got debts. We've
got pain. I'm overwhelmed. Give the first portion
of my money. See, when you do that, it forces
a chain reaction. If you give the first portion,
you think, oh, now what are we going to do? You're
going to trust God. And if you're not on a budget,
you probably have to get on one. You probably
have to figure out where your money's actually
going. You probably have to make some priority
decisions. You probably have to do some crazy
stuff like, well, I guess we could cut off that
satellite and maybe the cable. And you know what?
I had no idea. We tracked it for one month. You
know, $395 of eating out. Gosh, this is only
half a month. How did we do? When you begin to
take those steps, God will show you things. But
see, we're afraid. And it feels overwhelming.
When we're afraid. And so most of us with this
whole priority issue, we nod, we nod. Yeah, well,
I need to address that someday. Monday hits,
emails hit. It's got to go here, go here. And
most of what we talk about apart from some who
say, God, I really want to hear. I really want
to change. I really want to grow. It'll be almost
life as normal two weeks from now. The third
reason we live with two sets of priorities is
we have failed repeatedly. Our sincere and honest
efforts to put first things first in the past
lasted only a short time and ended with frustration
and disillusionment with ourselves. Let's face
it, how many have started on a diet and not doing
so well? How many have had a little card in our
wallet somewhere that says fitness center that
we've actually paid for? You know, and they're
making a ton on it because let's see, if it's
$150 for a year or $200 or 300 and you go twice,
that's like $75 a visit. They're really doing
well. How many of us said, God, I'm really gonna
start meeting with you and you did it for two,
three, four mornings and, right? And you know,
you're human, I'm human. So in those areas where
God has spoken to us in the past and we're gonna
put first things first. How about this one? Have
you had one of these? I am really serious this
time, right? Hey, I mean, I'm really, I mean,
I'm gonna get in shape. I'm gonna walk with God.
I'm gonna start mentoring someone. We are gonna
simplify. We're gonna start, we're gonna get
under control. And like maybe, I mean for you
like obsessive, compulsive, super disciplined
people, it lasts about two weeks maybe. And you
know, once you fail a number of times, then you
know what you do? You just start saying, one,
we don't say it anymore. And two, there's this
battle that goes on. Yeah, I want that God. I
hear that. Those tools of my money and my time.
I don't want to go there. I've tried this before
and I failed. And I failed. And so what I want
to talk to you about this morning is I want to
get very, very practical. And I want to talk
about what I think is the secret, if you will,
the missing ingredient. What it is, what is it
that brings the list that I intellectually would
write down and my life as demonstrated and played
out by how I actually do things, what is it that
brings those things together so they're the same?
What's the missing ingredient to living out your
priorities? First, it's a rarely used word. We're
gonna go sort of in a little inductive journey
together, okay? It's a rarely used word. Second,
it's a fruit of the Spirit. It's a fruit of the
Spirit. So this missing ingredient isn't something
that you can do. It's something that is a part
of what you already possess in Christ, but it's
allowing the Spirit of God to produce this in
your life. Third, it comes to us by grace. Whatever
this is, this missing ingredient, it comes to
us by grace. So it's not about trying hard. Most
of you have already tried the trying hard. It
doesn't work. Four, we admire it in other people.
When we see this in other people, we go, whoa,
man, that's neat. We admire it. It's essential
for putting first things first. A lot of people
start well, don't finish well because of this.
And the word... Are you ready? Again, you just
sort of swallow hard. The word is discipline.
Some translations say self -control. If that
makes you feel better, you can write in self
-control. But it's discipline. I mean, we love
it when we see it in other people. We admire
it. It's part of the fruit of the Spirit. Let
me give you a definition for discipline. Discipline
is doing what needs to be done when it needs
to be done. By the way, that's why workaholics
can be slothful and lazy, even though highly
active. And all of us. Have you ever had a, you
know, Matthew 18 situation come up? Someone has
sinned against you, or there's an issue that
you need to confront someone on, right? And you
wrote it down. God has showed you need to go
talk to this person. You need to confront them.
And all of a sudden, it just pops up over here.
You know, I really need to jot that note to so
-and -so. And you know what? Maybe I'll do a
few errands first. Or, you know, we fill it in
with all kinds of discipline is not simply activity.
It's doing what needs to be done when it needs
to be done. And, you know, the Proverbs give
us the list of, you know, major sins that inhibit
our lives. When's the last time you heard like
a really great message on slothfulness or laziness?
You know, call me anything, but don't call me
lazy, right? When I know what needs to be done.
in my relationship with God, my relationship
with my wife, with one of my kids, in terms of
where God shows me something. When I don't do
what needs to be done, when it needs to be done.
The Bible calls that slothfulness. And so there's
a reason why we don't get some things in line.
So let's get sort of on the positive side of
this. Discipline is the spirit -empowered ability.
given by God's grace that allows us to say no
to the quick fix and the easy road and say yes
to the harder but better way. That's what it
is. It's not trying hard. It's not buttoned down.
It's not I'm going to make myself do this. It's
not getting self -righteous and no one else does
this, but I get up early and I do this and I
do this, I do this, and I'm rigid and legalistic.
No, no, no. Discipline. is spirit -empowered
ability that you get by God's grace that allows
you to say no to quick fixes and easy solutions
and say yes to facing the hard, difficult things
on the front end in order to receive the richer
and deeper and better. Titus 2, 11 and 12, you
have it in a translation in your notes. And this
one is especially good because I like it. It
says, for the grace of God that brings salvation
that has appeared to all men, it, notice it's
grace, it teaches us to say no to ungodliness
and worldly passions and to live self -controlled,
that's our word, upright and godly lives in this
present age. Couple quick observations. First
of all, grace produces discipline. And by the
way, somewhere along the line, we've been teaching
grace in a faulty way. We think grace and no
effort. The opposite of grace is no effort, and
that's not it. The opposite of grace is merit.
Paul would say, make every effort. It takes focus.
It takes energy. But it is the grace of God who
both to will and to work in you. It's the grace
of God that helps me to say no to worldliness.
But then notice the second observation. It teaches
us. What's that mean? It means it's a process.
It means it doesn't happen overnight. It means
like a child learns to ride a bike. I don't know
about you, but I didn't stick my kids on the
bike and go, okay, bang, they got it. They learn.
And how do they learn? They do this. Bam. Bam.
Well, I don't, you know, I don't see their parents
going, get up right now. What's wrong with you?
They're just going, whoa, whoa, come here. Emmy,
Emmy, Emmy, come on, my mama. Come on, come on,
come on. And then they take three steps and they
fall. And their parents are excited about what?
The two or three steps they take. And they understand
they're going to fall. It's a process to learn.
Discipline is a byproduct of the Holy Spirit.
Listen to what it says in Galatians 5, 22 and
23. It says, but the fruit, singular, of the
Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self
-control. Against such things is no law. So it's
the spirit, it's learning to trust by faith,
allowing the spirit of God to produce discipline
in our lives. We're commanded, I mean, just if
that doesn't do it for you, we're commanded to
live disciplined lives. 2 Peter 1, 6 says, and
let your knowledge lead to self -control and
self -control to perseverance and perseverance
to godliness. You're listening to Living on the
Edge. We'll get back to our series, Balancing
Life's Demands, in just a minute. But first,
if this teaching has ministered to you, consider
becoming a monthly partner. Your regular financial
support goes a long way to help us encourage
pastors, create resources, and share Jesus with
today's youth. Visit livingontheedge .org to
learn how to support us. Well, with that, here
again is Chip. Discipline is the process that
is learned over time through training. It is
not an experience, it's not automatic, and it's
not about trying hard. I'll never forget, I had
an assistant, a really bright young gal that
worked with me for about eight years, and she
had never run a day in her life. I mean, she
was not athletic at all. And she decided she
was going to run a marathon. And, you know, I've
been working out for years, and, like, I run
about two miles, and it hurts my knees. Man,
you know, let me chase something, hit something,
play something. But running just seems like,
how can anyone do it? I admire you who do it.
I mean, here she is. She's never done, she goes,
oh, no, I talked to my friend, and we're going
to, there's a training program. We saw it in
a magazine. I'm going, good luck, sweetie. And
then we met this guy who does marathons. And
I watched her, and she started walking, and then
she jogged so long. And all I can tell you is.
About four months after she decided to run a
marathon, she went into training. And I can remember
about three months in, and she goes, could I
come in a half hour late tomorrow? I said, sure,
what you got going? She goes, well, I did 10
miles on so -and -so, and I'm up to my 16 -miler,
and we got to get up real early. I said, you're
going to run 16 miles before you come to work?
And she said, yeah. I'm thinking you are like
an angel from heaven. How do you do this? And
what I watched is she ran a marathon without
stopping because everything she needed to run
a marathon was in her body. But she had to go
into a process of training over time to take
that which she already possessed over time to
develop the capacity to perform what was in her.
Are some of you kind of getting what I'm saying?
All that you need is in you. The spirit and the
power and the grace that raised Christ from the
dead is in you. We must go into training. That's
why the writer of Hebrews would say, by now,
you ought to be mature. You ought to be teaching,
but you're drinking milk. You need to be trained
by God's word. And so we're going to talk about
cultivating discipline as training. Now, as we
get going here, the dynamics of biblical discipline
can be summed up in two words. Because at this
point, I hope you're saying, I want that training.
I want to be disciplined. I'd love to start time
with God or a workout or mentoring someone or
getting my finances or my time in order, but
I've never been disciplined. If you could show
me how to get disciplined, ooh, ooh, ooh, I will
do it. I want God to do it. Okay, say no more.
That's what we're going to do. It can be summed
up in two words, delayed gratification. It's
the key. And I think of all the passages in scripture
that help me really get my arms around biblical
discipline, it's Hebrews 12, 11. All discipline
for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful.
Yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards
it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.
Do a little Bible study. I would encourage you
to memorize that one little verse. All discipline,
self -control, same word. Every passage so far,
it's the same root word. All discipline, notice
for the moment, front end. It does not seem to
be, you know, it's sorrowful. It's difficult.
It's painful. Yet, to those who have, what's
our word? Over time, been trained by it, I wish
you could see the picture of my assistant's face
with the medal she got with her three friends
26 .2 miles later. Someone who'd never run a
day in her life and accomplished an amazing feat
because she went into training. And that's what
God has for you in your relationships, your marriages,
your singleness, your parenting, your money,
and your time. That's what he really has for
you. Don't believe that lie. Well, there's other
people that are more smart than we are. And there's
people that are so much more holy. And there's
people that are in such a different category.
This is God's plan for every one of his children.
I love the quote by the author and psychiatrist,
Scott Peck. He says, discipline is willfully
choosing to embrace the painful and difficult
aspects of one's life first. In order, listen
to this, to more fully enjoy and successfully
achieve those relationships that mean the most.
So much, we always focus on the first half. It's
sorrowful, it's hard. I gotta get up. We gotta
get on a budget. I don't wanna do that. You know,
I'll never do it. I've failed before. Instead
of focusing on, he says it's willfully choosing
to what? To confront the pain on the front end.
Why? So you can get something way, way better
on the back end. Let me give you a high school
illustration. You're in 10th grade, and you're
now learning how to write term papers. You have
to write a term paper, and there's a 15 -page
term paper that is due. You don't know much,
but they've sent you to the library. It's the
old days, so either three by five cards, you
go and get on the computer, and you've got, you
know, like a month to do it, and three weeks
have gone by to your last week, and you say to
yourself, you know, I gotta get on this term
paper, you know. I've never written one, and
And your parents ask, well, how's that term paper?
Oh, yeah, pretty good. That means I've been thinking
about it a little bit. Like, I do have my topic.
That's it. And then they say, hey, how's it really
going? So now it's by Tuesday or Wednesday. And
you did at least peruse where the resources were
for about five minutes. Well, it's Thursday.
And you decide, okay, Thursday, I've got to get
this. I mean, I've got to start the term paper.
And you're at school and someone goes, hey, are
you going to the party tonight? No, I didn't
know there's, oh man, this is an awesome party.
Well, okay, you know, I could do it Friday night.
So you go to the party, but even during the party,
in the back of your mind. This nagging, 15 pages,
that's a long time. Little knot in your stomach,
but, you know, a little fun sort of makes that
go away. And you get up on Friday and then, oh,
hey, did you hear about, you're going to the
game tonight? Oh, no, I can't go to the game.
I'm writing a term paper. Friday night? You're
going to stay home and write a term paper, you
nerd? What's with you? And you say to yourself,
that is kind of dumb. I got all day Saturday,
right? So you go to the game, right? And then
you get up on Saturday. Man, I am really tired.
I think I'll just get something to eat before
I really get going. Well, pretty soon it is Sunday
night. The term papers do. You start about 8
.30 and you work until about 4 .30 in the morning
and you've written a very poor 12 and a half
page paper that's supposed to be 15. And here's
the point. You not only have a lousy paper, you
didn't enjoy Thursday night very much. During
most of the game, All you could think about when
your team wasn't scoring or you weren't laughing
was what was undone, and you had this gnawing
in the back of your mind. On Saturday, your procrastination,
you had low -grade guilt that turned to high
-grade guilt, and you told yourself, maybe God
will really help me while you were at church
and thought about skipping church to write the
paper. I got news for you. There's people that
live their whole life like that. And the stuff
that really needs to get done keeps getting pushed
out and keeps getting procrastinated. We'll get
the finances under control. We'll work on our
marriage. We'll really sit down and talk with
one of our kids. We'll address this addiction
issue. You know what? We'll confront that issue
with, you know, our in -laws and, hey, we got
to set some boundaries and deal with some stuff.
And you know what? It's that term paper and it
never gets, and you just stay busy. You stay
active. You love God a little bit. You do a little
bit of this, do a little bit of that. And all
the while. You never experience the rich better
that God has because of that rare word, delayed
gratification. And so I would say the big question
for us, how in the world do you develop? If delayed
gratification, if that's the key, how do you
develop it in your life? And the method of developing
biblical discipline can be summed up in three
words. Discipline is two words, delayed gratification.
How you get it, the process of developing it.
You say to yourself, what's the training? Where's
the magazine that says if I run, you know, jog
a little bit and then the next week I actually
try and jog a mile and then after that I go and
where, how does that happen? And you're gonna
see it right out of scripture. The three key
words are advance, decision -making. The key
to delayed gratification. If you are at the window
and the moment where you know you need to delay
your gratification and you haven't pre -decided
what you're going to do in that moment, about
95 % of the time, you will do what you don't
want to do. This is Living on the Edge with Chip
Ingram, and you've been listening to Part 1 of
Chip's message, How to Put First Things First,
from our series, Balancing Life's Demands. Chip
will be back shortly to share some helpful application
for us to think about. Are you overwhelmed by
the pressure to do more, have more, and achieve
more? In this 10 -part series, Chip provides
practical biblical steps to help you move your
life from chaos to contentment. Discover how
to align your priorities around God's vision
for your life and the discipline to not only
put first things first, but keep them there.
You're not going to want to miss a single program
of this series. Well, Chip's here in studio with
me now. And Chip, before we go on, you wanted
to share something with our listeners? Thanks,
Dave. I know a lot of people pray and support
the ministry because you hear of exciting new
things that we're doing, whether it's in China
or the Middle East or working with pastors. But
I'd like you to consider something else. The
Bible is very clear that where you are spiritually
ministered to, there's a moral responsibility
to financially support. That's not me. That's
the Apostle Paul. And you know, there's about
a million people every week that are hearing
God's Word. And God is using the teaching ministry
of Living on the Edge to help Christians grow
in Christlikeness. And that changes families
and communities. If you're one of those people,
would you pray about giving back if indeed Living
on the Edge is ministering to you and helping
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I think is very important. Would you pray about
it and do whatever God shows you to do? Thanks,
Chip. As you prayerfully consider your role in
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and resources in remarkable ways. To give a gift,
go to livingontheedge .org or call us at 888
-333 -6003. That's 888 -333 -6003 or go to livingontheedge
.org. App listeners, tap donate. Well, with that,
here again is Chip to share a few final thoughts.
As we close today's program, you know, this whole
idea of discipline, of not getting what I want
right now, it's like intellectually we say, oh,
yes, I know delayed gratification is really important.
But when you look at your debt level, when you
look at eating at times when you know you're
not hungry, and when you look at, you know, I
started working out and already I've missed one
day. What I want you to know is that we all struggle
with this. issue, I've observed that the single
most important element that's missing in people's
growth is discipline. You know, there's honest
desire. I'm with a group of young people. They
honestly really want to grow, but they just,
you know, it's hard to get out of bed. Or, you
know, I meet people who really want to get their
priorities in line, but oh, the mountain of credit
card debt is so big and so long. Or, you know,
people who want to get in shape, but it's just
like, oh, you know, I get started and then I
fail. It's because we don't understand how discipline
works. It's a fruit of the spirit. It's not trying
hard. In our next broadcast, I'm going to talk
about the dynamics of delayed gratification.
I mean, the mental process of how to think. So
instead of this mindset of, oh, I'm giving up
this and I can't do that. And, you know, this
is so hard and I need to try harder. And I'm
just not a very disciplined person. That thinking
is garbage. That thinking is from the enemy.
When you get it right biblically, what you realize
is I'm not giving up anything great. I'm delaying.
things that would be sort of nice to get something
awesome and great later. And as you start that
process, the grace of God will begin to give
you more and more discipline. It's a fruit of
the Spirit. And you will begin to have this level
of self -esteem and positive feedback as you
begin to delay some things. And you'll begin
to see the fruit within two or three weeks. But
let me tell you, you've got to understand how
it really works. And that's on our next broadcast.
I hope you'll be with us. Excited to hear more
about that process, Chip. Thanks. Hey, as we
close, if you're looking for good Bible content,
check out the Chip Ingram app. You can listen
to our most recent series or sign up for Daily
Discipleship with Chip, a great resource to help
you study God's Word at a deeper level. We want
you to grow in your walk with Jesus, and the
Chip Ingram app will help you do just that. We'll
listen in next time as Chip picks up in his series,
Balancing Life's Demands. Until then, this is
Dave Drewy saying thanks for joining us for this
edition of Living on the Edge.