WEBVTT 00:00:01.940 --> 00:00:05.040 Everyone experiences relational conflict. It's 00:00:05.040 --> 00:00:07.940 part of the human condition. Moms, dads, sons, 00:00:07.980 --> 00:00:10.839 daughters, brothers, sisters, friends, neighbors, 00:00:11.099 --> 00:00:14.880 coworkers. Breakdowns in relationship are normal. 00:00:15.240 --> 00:00:18.379 Today I'm going to talk about five specific ways 00:00:18.379 --> 00:00:21.820 to resolve relational conflict. You're not going 00:00:21.820 --> 00:00:27.019 to want to miss it. Stay with me. Thank you for 00:00:27.019 --> 00:00:29.379 being with us for this edition of Living on the 00:00:29.379 --> 00:00:32.200 Edge with Chip Ingram. Chip serves as our Bible 00:00:32.200 --> 00:00:34.719 teacher for this global teaching and discipleship 00:00:34.719 --> 00:00:37.460 ministry, helping Christians develop an authentic 00:00:37.460 --> 00:00:40.039 faith. Well, in just a minute, we'll pick up 00:00:40.039 --> 00:00:42.899 in our series, I Choose Peace, as Chip continues 00:00:42.899 --> 00:00:45.979 teaching us how to foster unity and harmony in 00:00:45.979 --> 00:00:48.380 our relationships. And don't miss the opportunity 00:00:48.380 --> 00:00:51.140 to receive some practical wisdom from Chip on 00:00:51.140 --> 00:00:54.240 this pivotal topic after today's message. So 00:00:54.240 --> 00:00:56.659 be sure to stick around. Okay, here's Chip with 00:00:56.659 --> 00:00:58.659 the second half of his message in relational 00:00:58.659 --> 00:01:02.000 conflict. Grab your Bible and go again to Philippians 00:01:02.000 --> 00:01:05.719 chapter 4. Just go to a coffee shop sometime 00:01:05.719 --> 00:01:08.519 and act like you have earphones on. And just 00:01:08.519 --> 00:01:10.819 listen to everybody. Just listen to everybody. 00:01:10.939 --> 00:01:14.579 It's really fun, tell you the truth. And 80 % 00:01:14.579 --> 00:01:16.579 of the conversations... Well, I don't know what 00:01:16.579 --> 00:01:18.200 he's thinking, you know. You know, he plays golf 00:01:18.200 --> 00:01:20.060 three times a week, and he expects me to take 00:01:20.060 --> 00:01:21.599 care of the kid, and blah, blah, blah. Well, 00:01:21.680 --> 00:01:23.200 my roommate, you know what? You know, the refrigerator, 00:01:23.439 --> 00:01:25.000 this is my side, and this is her side, and I 00:01:25.000 --> 00:01:26.480 paid for everything, and this is what she did. 00:01:26.640 --> 00:01:28.500 And, you know, my supervisor, I think he's on 00:01:28.500 --> 00:01:32.459 drugs, you know. Right? People are talking about 00:01:32.459 --> 00:01:36.900 someone else. And what's it do? Gasoline on the 00:01:36.900 --> 00:01:39.819 fire. He says, get your focus upward. And not 00:01:39.819 --> 00:01:41.780 only this, he says, hey, there's something. Are 00:01:41.780 --> 00:01:44.060 you ready, Christians? You ready, small group? 00:01:44.200 --> 00:01:47.829 Ready, family? more important than are you happy 00:01:47.829 --> 00:01:49.950 and are you getting along and is this person 00:01:49.950 --> 00:01:52.950 going to quickly come and apologize? He says, 00:01:52.969 --> 00:01:55.010 you have a personal responsibility. Let your 00:01:55.010 --> 00:01:57.349 gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 00:01:58.549 --> 00:02:01.010 The Lord is near could mean, you know, he's available. 00:02:01.209 --> 00:02:03.329 But in the context, the Lord is near. The Lord 00:02:03.329 --> 00:02:05.349 is near as he's coming back. That's what he just 00:02:05.349 --> 00:02:09.110 talked about. Life is short. You're going to 00:02:09.110 --> 00:02:12.379 be judged. I'm going to be judged. So he says, 00:02:12.419 --> 00:02:15.280 let your gentleness. We don't have a single English 00:02:15.280 --> 00:02:18.620 word to translate this. He's basically saying, 00:02:18.780 --> 00:02:20.719 okay, get your focus upward in the midst of this 00:02:20.719 --> 00:02:23.759 conflict, whole church and you too, ladies. Let 00:02:23.759 --> 00:02:28.539 your gentleness, let your forbearance, let your 00:02:28.539 --> 00:02:33.240 geniality, let your generosity. That's the idea 00:02:33.240 --> 00:02:36.460 of this word. Let your consideration. As one 00:02:36.460 --> 00:02:39.439 commentator said, let your sweet reasonableness. 00:02:40.159 --> 00:02:41.819 The essence would be something that would go 00:02:41.819 --> 00:02:45.620 like this. Be willing to accept less than your 00:02:45.620 --> 00:02:48.819 due in this relationship for the sake of the 00:02:48.819 --> 00:02:52.080 broader message of the reputation of Christ. 00:02:52.520 --> 00:02:55.219 It's sort of like saying, you know what? I'm 00:02:55.219 --> 00:02:58.650 not going to be proved right. I'm not gonna own 00:02:58.650 --> 00:03:01.990 not just the 5%, I think. I'm gonna go ahead 00:03:01.990 --> 00:03:05.150 and own 51 % of this so we get the ball moving. 00:03:05.289 --> 00:03:08.969 And I'm willing to humble myself because this 00:03:08.969 --> 00:03:12.889 relationship, being right, is more important 00:03:12.889 --> 00:03:16.590 than me being right. Do you get it? That's the 00:03:16.590 --> 00:03:19.930 point. This takes huge humility. So how do you 00:03:19.930 --> 00:03:23.650 do it? Each of these verses, I think, give us 00:03:23.650 --> 00:03:28.110 a very specific application about how to resolve 00:03:28.110 --> 00:03:33.030 or diffuse problem relationships. And you'll 00:03:33.030 --> 00:03:35.509 learn in just a minute why I say I choose peace 00:03:35.509 --> 00:03:37.689 because what I'm going to ask you to do, in fact, 00:03:37.710 --> 00:03:40.949 is what God is asking you to do, is to stop putting 00:03:40.949 --> 00:03:44.210 it off, stop rationalizing, stop saying it'll 00:03:44.210 --> 00:03:46.789 get better in time, stop saying things like, 00:03:46.849 --> 00:03:48.330 well, I know how they're going to respond, so 00:03:48.330 --> 00:03:54.129 why try? Relationships really matter to God. 00:03:55.469 --> 00:03:57.330 And if there's someone in your family or someone 00:03:57.330 --> 00:04:00.650 in the body of Christ, especially. And so number 00:04:00.650 --> 00:04:05.509 one, resolve to stop procrastinating. The word 00:04:05.509 --> 00:04:08.810 resolve. In other words, I'm going to ask you 00:04:08.810 --> 00:04:13.210 as God's representative for this little tiny 00:04:13.210 --> 00:04:16.850 moment to make a commitment to address the problem 00:04:16.850 --> 00:04:19.290 relationship that came to your mind in the next 00:04:19.290 --> 00:04:23.069 seven days. Make a commitment. It might be the 00:04:23.069 --> 00:04:24.949 beginning. It might be I'm going to talk with 00:04:24.949 --> 00:04:27.490 someone. It might be, hey, I need to talk with 00:04:27.490 --> 00:04:29.529 a counselor. It might be I'm going to schedule 00:04:29.529 --> 00:04:32.730 an appointment. If you don't deal with it, are 00:04:32.730 --> 00:04:36.769 you ready? You're under stress. It's impacting 00:04:36.769 --> 00:04:39.769 your body. You know, a lot of times when we go 00:04:39.769 --> 00:04:42.589 to the refrigerator or eat or drink too much 00:04:42.589 --> 00:04:44.870 of something, or some of you that are wrestling 00:04:44.870 --> 00:04:47.449 with addictions, do you understand the problem 00:04:47.449 --> 00:04:49.829 is not the alcohol? It's not the drug. It's not 00:04:49.829 --> 00:04:53.800 the internet. when there is a lack of peace, 00:04:53.920 --> 00:04:57.800 when there's that unsettled, that soul, you will 00:04:57.800 --> 00:05:00.079 fill it with something that'll give you a pseudo 00:05:00.079 --> 00:05:02.500 peace short term. And then it will require a 00:05:02.500 --> 00:05:06.500 bigger shot of that something to keep that artificial 00:05:06.500 --> 00:05:08.980 peace for a while until you find yourself looking 00:05:08.980 --> 00:05:15.899 up in some ditch with tons of pain. We have a 00:05:15.899 --> 00:05:18.120 command. We want to be Romans 12 Christians. 00:05:18.259 --> 00:05:22.189 Romans 12, 17 says, Respect what is right in 00:05:22.189 --> 00:05:26.129 the sight of all people. As far as it depends 00:05:26.129 --> 00:05:29.449 on you, be at peace with all men. All men, Christians, 00:05:29.610 --> 00:05:31.829 non -Christians, workers, supervisors, neighbors. 00:05:32.089 --> 00:05:34.930 The word respect, literally, it means to consider. 00:05:35.110 --> 00:05:37.670 And the word is like an accounting term. It's 00:05:37.670 --> 00:05:41.769 a thoughtful, pondering, stepping back. It's 00:05:41.769 --> 00:05:46.009 consider. It's where you get out of, they wronged 00:05:46.009 --> 00:05:47.910 you and they did this and they did that and here's 00:05:47.910 --> 00:05:50.250 all the reasons they should. And you just pause 00:05:50.250 --> 00:05:53.009 and have an out -of -body experience. I don't 00:05:53.009 --> 00:05:55.250 mean this in a new age way. And you actually 00:05:55.250 --> 00:05:59.009 look at the situation and you say, from their 00:05:59.009 --> 00:06:02.410 perspective, how possibly could they see themselves 00:06:02.410 --> 00:06:07.089 as being right? Oh, they're... Their gifts are 00:06:07.089 --> 00:06:08.970 more this way than mine. They come from this 00:06:08.970 --> 00:06:11.490 kind of a family. They were wounded in the past 00:06:11.490 --> 00:06:14.810 like that. And oh, gosh, you know, if I was trying 00:06:14.810 --> 00:06:17.490 to be objective, those two points were actually 00:06:17.490 --> 00:06:20.050 pretty true, but they made me defensive. It's 00:06:20.050 --> 00:06:23.810 how can you consider, not that you agree, just 00:06:23.810 --> 00:06:28.129 consider what's right in their eyes. You do understand 00:06:28.129 --> 00:06:29.889 that people don't wake up like, I want to ruin 00:06:29.889 --> 00:06:32.170 every relationship and be a jerk. That's my goal. 00:06:33.149 --> 00:06:36.050 No one does that. When they're being a jerk and 00:06:36.050 --> 00:06:38.350 ruining the relationship, however they're acting 00:06:38.350 --> 00:06:41.709 makes sense to them. So what you want to find 00:06:41.709 --> 00:06:44.550 out is how could this possibly make sense? Because 00:06:44.550 --> 00:06:48.389 understanding is the first step toward any kind 00:06:48.389 --> 00:06:51.990 of restitution or resolution or healing or forgiveness. 00:06:52.470 --> 00:06:56.430 Second, reevaluate your expectations. Especially 00:06:56.430 --> 00:06:58.920 those of us that are followers of Jesus. You 00:06:58.920 --> 00:07:01.899 know, we have this expectation. Christians should 00:07:01.899 --> 00:07:05.160 never argue. Christians should never have tension 00:07:05.160 --> 00:07:07.759 in a relationship. Christians should never have 00:07:07.759 --> 00:07:10.300 a falling out. So if we do, there's got to be 00:07:10.300 --> 00:07:14.000 a bad person. Can I ask you in this text, is 00:07:14.000 --> 00:07:18.980 there a bad person? Is there? I mean, they both 00:07:18.980 --> 00:07:21.660 contended for the faith. They're going to be 00:07:21.660 --> 00:07:23.920 in heaven. A part of Paul's going, ladies, you're 00:07:23.920 --> 00:07:25.339 going to have a long time. Might as well start 00:07:25.339 --> 00:07:29.370 getting along now. But we have this idea that 00:07:29.370 --> 00:07:31.930 if there's tension and if you share it. Now, 00:07:31.930 --> 00:07:33.550 sometimes we don't share it in the best way. 00:07:34.529 --> 00:07:37.009 But the expectation that everything's going to 00:07:37.009 --> 00:07:40.370 be sort of Jesus meek and mild. Everything's 00:07:40.370 --> 00:07:45.709 wonderful. Or to expect that he's a Christian 00:07:45.709 --> 00:07:49.910 businessman or she is a Christian mom. And she 00:07:49.910 --> 00:07:53.569 cut me off in the pickup line for the Christian 00:07:53.569 --> 00:07:57.449 school. And then I don't think she was pointing 00:07:57.449 --> 00:08:01.589 where to go with that finger, actually. And she 00:08:01.589 --> 00:08:05.709 calls herself a Christian? He says he's a Christian 00:08:05.709 --> 00:08:10.350 leader and, right, you fill it in. So you're 00:08:10.350 --> 00:08:12.629 a follower, all of us that happen to be followers 00:08:12.629 --> 00:08:14.529 of Christ. So you've never done that, right? 00:08:16.490 --> 00:08:18.949 You've never said things that you would be ashamed 00:08:18.949 --> 00:08:23.050 of. You've never acted in ways. I'm memorizing 00:08:23.050 --> 00:08:27.490 a verse. Right now, because God, some of us are 00:08:27.490 --> 00:08:31.529 sort of, I call rescuers and some of us are warriors. 00:08:31.810 --> 00:08:35.649 Rescuers want everything fixed now. We have to 00:08:35.649 --> 00:08:37.629 make this right. Everything has to be smooth. 00:08:38.370 --> 00:08:41.769 Warriors are justice warriors. You need to see 00:08:41.769 --> 00:08:45.509 what the issue is and own your stuff. Can anyone 00:08:45.509 --> 00:08:49.110 imagine which one I might be? I married a rescuer. 00:08:49.210 --> 00:08:52.090 We can fix this. Calm, quiet, lovely Teresa. 00:08:52.919 --> 00:08:55.440 I'm like, that's wrong. Until they admit they're 00:08:55.440 --> 00:08:59.100 wrong, until they come clean, you know. Here's 00:08:59.100 --> 00:09:01.960 your expectation. It's never going to come out 00:09:01.960 --> 00:09:04.679 the way you have pictured in your mind of them, 00:09:04.840 --> 00:09:08.179 you know, in your anger fantasies. Oh, I just 00:09:08.179 --> 00:09:10.320 want you to know that everything I said was wrong. 00:09:10.580 --> 00:09:12.639 I was a terrible person. I can't believe what 00:09:12.639 --> 00:09:14.639 I said. You are wonderful and I am terrible. 00:09:14.759 --> 00:09:19.299 Could we be friends again? I mean, we actually 00:09:19.299 --> 00:09:24.259 play those things kind of out in our mind. Conflict 00:09:24.259 --> 00:09:29.679 is real, New Testament. Barnabas and Paul. Paul's 00:09:29.679 --> 00:09:32.500 a murderer. No one believes he's really come 00:09:32.500 --> 00:09:35.960 to know Jesus, except one guy, Barnabas. Barnabas 00:09:35.960 --> 00:09:38.200 says, hey, I'll help you, introduces him to the 00:09:38.200 --> 00:09:41.279 apostles. He goes off, gets some training from 00:09:41.279 --> 00:09:43.419 the Lord. Years later, he comes back, and he 00:09:43.419 --> 00:09:46.320 and Barnabas are part of launching this amazing 00:09:46.320 --> 00:09:48.659 church in Antioch where Gentiles, it's the first 00:09:48.659 --> 00:09:51.779 Christian church. And in Acts 13, they're all 00:09:51.779 --> 00:09:54.059 praying. And God says, set apart for me Barnabas 00:09:54.059 --> 00:09:55.940 and Paul. Not Paul and Barnabas. Barnabas is 00:09:55.940 --> 00:09:59.139 the leader. And his name is the son of encouragement. 00:09:59.539 --> 00:10:03.200 Exhortation gifts, loving, very generous. And 00:10:03.200 --> 00:10:06.960 he's got this, I mean, this great intellect communicator. 00:10:07.039 --> 00:10:10.679 And so they go on this missionary journey. And 00:10:10.679 --> 00:10:13.159 God does amazing, amazing things. So then they're 00:10:13.159 --> 00:10:16.360 ready to do another one. And they're discipling 00:10:16.360 --> 00:10:19.379 people. So Paul has found Timothy and says, why 00:10:19.379 --> 00:10:21.759 don't you go? And Barnabas said, John Mark, he's 00:10:21.759 --> 00:10:23.700 a good young guy. And they go on the second journey. 00:10:23.740 --> 00:10:25.860 As they go on the second journey, John Mark flakes 00:10:25.860 --> 00:10:28.100 out. So it got hard. It got difficult. We don't 00:10:28.100 --> 00:10:30.799 have details. He quit and went back home. Well, 00:10:30.840 --> 00:10:32.480 now they're ready for like, you know, the next 00:10:32.480 --> 00:10:37.899 round. And Paul says, we need to revisit the 00:10:37.899 --> 00:10:39.960 churches. And Barnabas says, well, yeah, we'll 00:10:39.960 --> 00:10:41.480 take John Mark because, you know, he didn't do 00:10:41.480 --> 00:10:43.559 so well. And I've been, here's the chipping room. 00:10:43.600 --> 00:10:45.100 This is not in the Bible. Don't look for this 00:10:45.100 --> 00:10:50.370 little part. Here's Barnabas. You know, he's 00:10:50.370 --> 00:10:53.250 in my discipleship group. And, you know, he has 00:10:53.250 --> 00:10:55.429 abandonment issues. He struggles with commitments. 00:10:55.509 --> 00:10:58.389 And, you know, he needs another chance. And he's 00:10:58.389 --> 00:11:00.129 going to make it. He's really going to make it. 00:11:00.169 --> 00:11:03.250 He needs to go on this trip. And Paul, driven, 00:11:03.450 --> 00:11:08.269 cleric, type A, mission from God, no. What do 00:11:08.269 --> 00:11:12.870 you mean no? I said no. He can't go? No. Why? 00:11:13.480 --> 00:11:15.740 He flaked. The mission's too important. We can't 00:11:15.740 --> 00:11:16.799 put it in the hands of someone who's going to 00:11:16.799 --> 00:11:19.460 flake again. Barnabas says to Paul, by the way, 00:11:19.460 --> 00:11:21.480 this is all chip. Okay, don't be looking for 00:11:21.480 --> 00:11:24.539 accident team. But it's the heart of it. And 00:11:24.539 --> 00:11:27.480 Barnabas goes, so who were you? You were a murderer 00:11:27.480 --> 00:11:29.879 and I helped you out. Where would you be? Hey, 00:11:29.980 --> 00:11:32.500 that's different. The mission is what counts. 00:11:33.659 --> 00:11:35.639 And by the way, you know, sometimes we read the 00:11:35.639 --> 00:11:37.820 Bible and... If you've ever been in a Jewish 00:11:37.820 --> 00:11:40.299 culture and high -powered people, this was not 00:11:40.299 --> 00:11:43.059 Barnabas going, Paul, I really think we should 00:11:43.059 --> 00:11:47.320 take him. And Paul going, well, swell, Barney, 00:11:47.320 --> 00:11:49.279 but, you know, I just don't really think it's 00:11:49.279 --> 00:11:53.559 going to work. This went something like this. 00:11:53.700 --> 00:12:00.159 I mean, they're going nuts. And it was never 00:12:00.159 --> 00:12:03.200 the same. Part of your expectation is sometimes. 00:12:03.980 --> 00:12:07.379 over non -doctrinal, non -moral issues when you 00:12:07.379 --> 00:12:09.740 have different styles, different philosophies, 00:12:09.740 --> 00:12:11.879 some things happen, and it's never going to be 00:12:11.879 --> 00:12:15.960 the same. And there's not a bad person. And so 00:12:15.960 --> 00:12:18.159 that's how you talk about them, not as a bad 00:12:18.159 --> 00:12:23.759 person. Third, get competent outside help. Okay? 00:12:25.779 --> 00:12:28.100 If you're working on a relationship in your marriage, 00:12:28.240 --> 00:12:30.200 if you're working on a relationship at work, 00:12:30.299 --> 00:12:32.120 if you're working on a relationship with a friend, 00:12:32.159 --> 00:12:34.659 if it's someone in a small group and you just 00:12:34.659 --> 00:12:37.379 keep rubbing each other the wrong way and God 00:12:37.379 --> 00:12:39.740 has put on your heart, I need to do something 00:12:39.740 --> 00:12:42.399 so that we restore this relationship so there's 00:12:42.399 --> 00:12:45.639 peace. And every time you try, you just get more 00:12:45.639 --> 00:12:47.960 frustrated and it gets worse. It means you can't 00:12:47.960 --> 00:12:53.000 do it. And that's not bad. Get outside help. 00:12:54.750 --> 00:12:56.929 I've told this and I'll tell it again and again 00:12:56.929 --> 00:12:58.809 and again and again because especially for us 00:12:58.809 --> 00:13:01.629 men, when our wives say, we need outside help 00:13:01.629 --> 00:13:03.649 and we should go to a counselor, our reaction 00:13:03.649 --> 00:13:06.029 is, well, you can go if you want to, but I don't 00:13:06.029 --> 00:13:13.289 need that stuff. All the men are looking down. 00:13:14.370 --> 00:13:17.409 Because it's true. Don't give me that touchy 00:13:17.409 --> 00:13:21.269 -feely junk. What we really say is, man, that's 00:13:21.269 --> 00:13:25.340 an arena that's very, very threatening. And I 00:13:25.340 --> 00:13:28.639 don't want to look at stuff in my life. And that's 00:13:28.639 --> 00:13:32.220 where I was. I've been married nine months. I 00:13:32.220 --> 00:13:34.580 was in seminary to learn to preach the Word of 00:13:34.580 --> 00:13:39.059 God. And I can't get along with my wife. I'm 00:13:39.059 --> 00:13:42.299 making $1 ,000 a month, and the student discount 00:13:42.299 --> 00:13:45.039 rate is $90 or $95 per session, and I did 12 00:13:45.039 --> 00:13:48.740 sessions with my wife. And the only thing that 00:13:48.740 --> 00:13:50.480 kept me from going, I wouldn't go for a couple 00:13:50.480 --> 00:13:53.500 weeks, was my arrogant pride that I didn't want 00:13:53.500 --> 00:13:56.139 to be seen as someone who was a, quote, seminary 00:13:56.139 --> 00:13:57.759 student who couldn't even get along with his 00:13:57.759 --> 00:14:02.419 wife. Humility is the channel through which grace 00:14:02.419 --> 00:14:05.820 flows. Five years later, we had another little 00:14:05.820 --> 00:14:08.240 bump. What we realized is we had all kind of 00:14:08.240 --> 00:14:11.779 issues to work through. But it was amazing. Okay, 00:14:11.980 --> 00:14:14.159 well, this isn't a big deal. Let's go talk with 00:14:14.159 --> 00:14:16.379 someone, get it out objectively. We've been talking 00:14:16.379 --> 00:14:18.539 for hours. It's not working. And get some help. 00:14:18.860 --> 00:14:22.480 The help needs to be biblically wise, someone 00:14:22.480 --> 00:14:25.620 you respect, someone who's objective, not your 00:14:25.620 --> 00:14:28.360 friend or their friend, and someone that you 00:14:28.360 --> 00:14:30.919 can trust to say from a biblical perspective, 00:14:31.320 --> 00:14:36.340 here's how you too can bring some things to resolution. 00:14:36.600 --> 00:14:38.799 And both of you will hear some things you don't 00:14:38.799 --> 00:14:41.289 want to hear. And both of you will walk away 00:14:41.289 --> 00:14:45.429 going, I've now decided to stop demanding the 00:14:45.429 --> 00:14:47.710 other person change for our marriage to be what 00:14:47.710 --> 00:14:49.690 it needs to be because I can't control that. 00:14:49.830 --> 00:14:51.750 But here's what I've learned about me that I 00:14:51.750 --> 00:14:54.029 need to change. And I'm going to work on that 00:14:54.029 --> 00:14:57.190 with you, whether he or she responds or not. 00:14:57.330 --> 00:14:59.950 Some of you, that's your application. For others, 00:14:59.990 --> 00:15:01.830 it's a business relationship and you need some 00:15:01.830 --> 00:15:05.679 outside help. You're listening to Living on the 00:15:05.679 --> 00:15:07.919 Edge, and Chip will be back in just a minute 00:15:07.919 --> 00:15:10.620 to finish today's talk. But quickly, I want to 00:15:10.620 --> 00:15:12.600 remind you that this program is only possible 00:15:12.600 --> 00:15:15.340 because of the generosity of listeners like you. 00:15:15.639 --> 00:15:18.720 So if you'd like to support us, go to livingontheedge 00:15:18.720 --> 00:15:23.500 .org. That's livingontheedge .org. And thanks 00:15:23.500 --> 00:15:26.259 for doing whatever God leads you to do. Well, 00:15:26.299 --> 00:15:28.419 let's rejoin Chip now for the remainder of his 00:15:28.419 --> 00:15:32.700 message. Fourth, refuse to allow one relationship. 00:15:33.549 --> 00:15:38.269 to ruin your life. If you are a rescuer and it 00:15:38.269 --> 00:15:41.470 has to be fixed until everyone sits down, until 00:15:41.470 --> 00:15:43.690 you feel ooey gooey about everything, and it's 00:15:43.690 --> 00:15:46.600 just the way. You know, and it happens in churches. 00:15:46.700 --> 00:15:48.779 It's just crazy stuff. Like, you know, you led 00:15:48.779 --> 00:15:50.700 the Bible study last year, but then someone had 00:15:50.700 --> 00:15:52.320 a health issue and you had to be out of town 00:15:52.320 --> 00:15:54.460 and someone filled in for you and it's coming 00:15:54.460 --> 00:15:56.659 around again and they're asking her to lead it 00:15:56.659 --> 00:15:58.759 instead of you. Oh, why? They cut me out and 00:15:58.759 --> 00:16:00.279 then you talk to your friends and now they've 00:16:00.279 --> 00:16:02.559 got this. Or you, you know, how about this one? 00:16:02.620 --> 00:16:04.559 You know, I worked on the parking team and this 00:16:04.559 --> 00:16:06.840 was my corner and I love this corner and, you 00:16:06.840 --> 00:16:08.720 know, I got cancer and I was out, you know, four 00:16:08.720 --> 00:16:10.240 months and I came back to the parking team and 00:16:10.240 --> 00:16:12.480 someone else had my corner. Can you believe it? 00:16:12.620 --> 00:16:17.039 He's got my corner in the park. You're laughing, 00:16:17.059 --> 00:16:19.399 but I've been doing this church stuff for like 00:16:19.399 --> 00:16:22.539 35 years. It's worse than that. They change the 00:16:22.539 --> 00:16:25.259 colors. We put flowers up here, and we put them 00:16:25.259 --> 00:16:27.480 here after the funeral. And someone put them 00:16:27.480 --> 00:16:30.820 off to the sides. And those were for my husband. 00:16:31.779 --> 00:16:35.799 And now they hate everybody. Do you understand? 00:16:35.860 --> 00:16:38.019 Some of you are held captive. I had a little 00:16:38.019 --> 00:16:41.259 gal. She was 14 at the time, came up after the 00:16:41.259 --> 00:16:43.899 service and talked about her dad left when she 00:16:43.899 --> 00:16:47.120 was 14. And she was in tears and distraught. 00:16:47.779 --> 00:16:52.679 And this was years later. And I told her, I said, 00:16:52.720 --> 00:16:54.139 are you going to give him the power? Are you 00:16:54.139 --> 00:16:57.460 going to forgive him? No relationship since then. 00:16:58.539 --> 00:17:02.500 Some of you have a relationship like that. And 00:17:02.500 --> 00:17:04.880 it's an ex or it's one of your kids that doesn't 00:17:04.880 --> 00:17:08.559 call and you have resentment. Now, I want to 00:17:08.559 --> 00:17:11.539 give you a tool about how to start a conversation 00:17:11.539 --> 00:17:16.180 so that in your zeal, you don't blow it up. And 00:17:16.180 --> 00:17:18.559 I'll do that at the very end. But you have to 00:17:18.559 --> 00:17:22.859 make a decision first. Don't let one relationship, 00:17:23.119 --> 00:17:26.539 as far as it depends on you, when you take the 00:17:26.539 --> 00:17:28.460 step, I'm not even telling you they'll respond 00:17:28.460 --> 00:17:32.059 well. They don't have to respond well. But when 00:17:32.059 --> 00:17:35.000 you, as far as it depends on you, have done all 00:17:35.000 --> 00:17:38.190 that you can, you step back. You'd be at peace 00:17:38.190 --> 00:17:43.109 with them. Because we all have this. But we rarely 00:17:43.109 --> 00:17:46.869 deal with it. And part of it is we don't know 00:17:46.869 --> 00:17:51.650 how. And the bigger part is that we have so reframed 00:17:51.650 --> 00:17:54.329 it in our mind. They're terrible and bad. And 00:17:54.329 --> 00:17:57.970 it's none of our fault. The worst time I've had 00:17:57.970 --> 00:18:00.769 in my life was a little over 10 years ago. And 00:18:00.769 --> 00:18:03.750 I felt like... And I'm certain that part of my 00:18:03.750 --> 00:18:06.150 perspective was really true, that I went through 00:18:06.150 --> 00:18:08.569 the biggest betrayal of my whole life. And it 00:18:08.569 --> 00:18:12.109 was the rawest deal. I mean, I was so angry. 00:18:12.190 --> 00:18:15.450 You talk about the digital alarm, you know, 111, 00:18:15.509 --> 00:18:18.569 204, 317. It just, like, every night like that. 00:18:18.869 --> 00:18:21.470 You know, when I had to drive in the car, I had 00:18:21.470 --> 00:18:23.150 to put on music or something, or my stomach would 00:18:23.150 --> 00:18:25.470 grind with, you know, pictures of people and 00:18:25.470 --> 00:18:27.069 what they said in different meetings. And I was 00:18:27.069 --> 00:18:31.250 livid. And I had a friend really help me. And 00:18:31.250 --> 00:18:34.089 we sat down one day, and he was really helping 00:18:34.089 --> 00:18:36.430 me get through all this and giving me, you know, 00:18:36.430 --> 00:18:39.349 get vertical. It was really good. I mean, I've 00:18:39.349 --> 00:18:40.970 been a pastor for a lot of years. Like, I wasn't 00:18:40.970 --> 00:18:42.650 stupid about what I needed to do. It was just 00:18:42.650 --> 00:18:45.650 hard to do it. And he said, could you do me a 00:18:45.650 --> 00:18:48.329 favor? Yeah. I said, yeah, there's certainly 00:18:48.329 --> 00:18:50.950 some raw deals here. Yeah, that's right. Jack, 00:18:51.069 --> 00:18:52.970 you're right. He said, but I want you to do something 00:18:52.970 --> 00:18:55.289 for me. Yeah. I want to meet here. I can tell 00:18:55.289 --> 00:18:57.250 you right where I was sitting. Next week, right 00:18:57.250 --> 00:18:59.549 here, same time. Okay, yeah. And I want you to 00:18:59.549 --> 00:19:03.650 pray for seven days. And I want you to list all 00:19:03.650 --> 00:19:05.750 the mistakes that God reveals to you that you 00:19:05.750 --> 00:19:08.589 made in all your time and all the specific ways 00:19:08.589 --> 00:19:10.869 that you sinned against the people in question. 00:19:14.069 --> 00:19:19.190 And you're my friend. He's a godly guy. And I 00:19:19.190 --> 00:19:22.589 did. I remember coming back and sitting at the 00:19:22.589 --> 00:19:25.970 same place, getting my Diet Coke, leaning forward. 00:19:27.240 --> 00:19:31.380 And I'm in tears going, well, you know. And I 00:19:31.380 --> 00:19:33.519 can see I pushed their buttons. These were such 00:19:33.519 --> 00:19:38.519 stupid leadership mistakes. And the sin part 00:19:38.519 --> 00:19:41.240 was hard. But I prayed, God showed me these seven 00:19:41.240 --> 00:19:44.480 things. I wrote them down, gave them to him. 00:19:46.440 --> 00:19:52.500 It's amazing how much we say, oh, God, I want 00:19:52.500 --> 00:19:57.880 justice. But from you, I want mercy. And that 00:19:57.880 --> 00:19:59.759 was the turning point because I realized I couldn't 00:19:59.759 --> 00:20:03.059 ask, I couldn't ask God to give me mercy for 00:20:03.059 --> 00:20:05.680 all of this and then give me justice for them 00:20:05.680 --> 00:20:08.200 and was able to, are you ready? For some of you, 00:20:08.240 --> 00:20:11.299 just let it go. They're never going to see it 00:20:11.299 --> 00:20:14.380 that way. For some of you others, it's not going 00:20:14.380 --> 00:20:17.680 to get fixed. There's not a little bow. You're 00:20:17.680 --> 00:20:19.920 not going to sing Kumbaya. You're not going to 00:20:19.920 --> 00:20:22.640 go shopping together and have lunch again. but 00:20:22.640 --> 00:20:26.059 you can agree to disagree, you can forgive, and 00:20:26.059 --> 00:20:28.180 you can move forward as far as it depends on 00:20:28.180 --> 00:20:31.180 you. The final point, and I want you to jot this 00:20:31.180 --> 00:20:34.359 one down, is remember a right response is more 00:20:34.359 --> 00:20:38.339 important than being right. A right response 00:20:38.339 --> 00:20:45.519 is more important than being right. Let your 00:20:45.519 --> 00:20:49.019 gentleness be evident to all. Life is too short. 00:20:50.730 --> 00:20:53.369 And part of a right response, at least in my 00:20:53.369 --> 00:20:57.950 experience, is even in apologies. I had a situation 00:20:57.950 --> 00:21:02.589 recently where a conversation got really intense, 00:21:02.710 --> 00:21:04.690 and then I looked at this guy's face and realized, 00:21:04.890 --> 00:21:09.170 oh, my gosh. Man, I just poured cold water on 00:21:09.170 --> 00:21:13.410 him and his confidence and, you know, went home, 00:21:13.470 --> 00:21:17.369 went to bed. You know, one of those where God 00:21:17.369 --> 00:21:20.960 just wakes you up. And Lord, what am I going 00:21:20.960 --> 00:21:25.880 to do? That was normal. You know, I'm like you. 00:21:26.259 --> 00:21:27.880 You're flesh. You always want to defend yourself. 00:21:28.200 --> 00:21:29.640 And wow, there was this, this, this, and this. 00:21:29.940 --> 00:21:31.940 And God said, you know what? I'll take care of 00:21:31.940 --> 00:21:33.339 this, this, this, and this. How about this on 00:21:33.339 --> 00:21:36.759 you? And I just, one of those where, I mean, 00:21:36.779 --> 00:21:40.759 it was just so, just. own more than you need 00:21:40.759 --> 00:21:43.240 to own if necessary. Because what I can tell 00:21:43.240 --> 00:21:45.660 you is whatever your perspective is, you're like 00:21:45.660 --> 00:21:48.059 me, you're more guilty and you're more messed 00:21:48.059 --> 00:21:50.059 up than you think. So if you think it's like 00:21:50.059 --> 00:21:56.359 25 % your fault, go for 50 or 60. And I remember 00:21:56.359 --> 00:21:58.180 just realizing the only thing I could do as far 00:21:58.180 --> 00:22:00.799 as it depends on me, I just... Dear so -and -so, 00:22:00.880 --> 00:22:03.039 I want to apologize for ba -ba -ba -ba -ba -ba. 00:22:03.299 --> 00:22:05.359 I want to apologize for saying this ba -ba -ba 00:22:05.359 --> 00:22:07.680 -ba -ba. I want to apologize for ba -ba -ba -ba 00:22:07.680 --> 00:22:10.579 -ba. I want to apologize. Actually, I said this. 00:22:10.599 --> 00:22:12.539 I was obviously defensive because it wasn't even 00:22:12.539 --> 00:22:16.599 true. And I was just able to say, you know, this 00:22:16.599 --> 00:22:22.400 is such a godly man. And I just needed to repent. 00:22:24.149 --> 00:22:26.849 And he's so godly. So I'm two days later, so 00:22:26.849 --> 00:22:29.789 supportive, so loving. I got it. You're forgiven. 00:22:30.549 --> 00:22:35.609 Can I tell you, that's normal. If you want to 00:22:35.609 --> 00:22:37.390 accomplish something with your life, you want 00:22:37.390 --> 00:22:39.809 a great marriage, there's sparks. You want a 00:22:39.809 --> 00:22:41.410 great relationship with your adult kids, you 00:22:41.410 --> 00:22:43.710 bring up stuff that's uncomfortable. But you 00:22:43.710 --> 00:22:46.650 have to bring it up in a way that doesn't throw 00:22:46.650 --> 00:22:52.029 gasoline on a fire, but brings truth covered 00:22:52.029 --> 00:22:55.319 in love. Turn to the back page, and this is what 00:22:55.319 --> 00:22:58.480 all I want to ask you to do, is I want you to 00:22:58.480 --> 00:23:01.559 ask yourself on a scale of 1 to 10, what level 00:23:01.559 --> 00:23:04.660 of stress and concern are you having in terms 00:23:04.660 --> 00:23:08.480 of any relational problems? And then zip down 00:23:08.480 --> 00:23:12.039 to question 4. Is there anyone that, as you're 00:23:12.039 --> 00:23:16.359 sitting here, God is saying, you need to address 00:23:16.359 --> 00:23:19.920 this? And then the question is, who could help 00:23:19.920 --> 00:23:23.549 you? And the one tool, it's on the bottom. It's 00:23:23.549 --> 00:23:25.369 not a Christian book, but it's called Crucial 00:23:25.369 --> 00:23:28.130 Conversations, Tools for Talking When Stakes 00:23:28.130 --> 00:23:32.430 Are High. Written by Patterson, Jenny, McMillan, 00:23:32.450 --> 00:23:34.369 Schweitzer. I don't know anything about them. 00:23:34.470 --> 00:23:36.490 All I can tell you, three or four people told 00:23:36.490 --> 00:23:39.150 me. Finally, my son said, Dad, you're in ministry 00:23:39.150 --> 00:23:42.349 and you haven't read this book? No. Well, I read 00:23:42.349 --> 00:23:48.559 it. And it is the most helpful pathway. to love 00:23:48.559 --> 00:23:51.000 people and put hard things on the table that 00:23:51.000 --> 00:23:53.359 doesn't threaten. I want you to bow your head 00:23:53.359 --> 00:23:55.640 and I want you to ask the Lord, Lord, what do 00:23:55.640 --> 00:23:58.880 you want me to do? What do you want me to do? 00:24:01.940 --> 00:24:04.559 Can you imagine the healing that occur in families, 00:24:04.799 --> 00:24:08.599 extended families, small groups, this church, 00:24:08.819 --> 00:24:14.119 neighborhoods, if you, all of us, do what God 00:24:14.119 --> 00:24:20.079 is showing us? Lord, we love you, we thank you, 00:24:20.140 --> 00:24:23.759 and we praise you. And I ask now that you give 00:24:23.759 --> 00:24:30.500 courage, supernatural courage and faith to every 00:24:30.500 --> 00:24:33.400 single person in this room, every single person 00:24:33.400 --> 00:24:36.319 that ever hears or watches this, Lord, that you 00:24:36.319 --> 00:24:40.039 would bring healing. Because what happens is 00:24:40.039 --> 00:24:45.950 you'll grant peace, and we thank you. You're 00:24:45.950 --> 00:24:48.329 listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, 00:24:48.349 --> 00:24:50.910 and the message you just heard in relational 00:24:50.910 --> 00:24:53.890 conflict is from our series, I Choose Peace. 00:24:54.250 --> 00:24:56.750 Chip will join us in studio to share some insights 00:24:56.750 --> 00:24:59.849 from today's talk in just a minute. What does 00:24:59.849 --> 00:25:02.890 it mean to be at peace? Is it having a thriving 00:25:02.890 --> 00:25:05.369 career, happy household, financial security? 00:25:05.710 --> 00:25:08.430 While many strive for these goals, they often 00:25:08.430 --> 00:25:11.029 bring only short -term satisfaction, leaving 00:25:11.029 --> 00:25:14.700 us seeking more. In this 12 -part study in Philippians 00:25:14.700 --> 00:25:17.480 chapter 4, Chip explains where this attitude 00:25:17.480 --> 00:25:19.819 of discontentment comes from and the ways it 00:25:19.819 --> 00:25:22.440 steals our peace. Stay with us to learn how to 00:25:22.440 --> 00:25:25.299 move beyond temporary calmness and develop a 00:25:25.299 --> 00:25:27.759 lasting, peace -centered life that comes from 00:25:27.759 --> 00:25:30.440 God. If you've missed any part of this series, 00:25:30.559 --> 00:25:34.539 catch up anytime at livingontheedge .org or wherever 00:25:34.539 --> 00:25:37.099 you listen to podcasts. Well, our Bible teacher, 00:25:37.279 --> 00:25:39.500 Chip Ingram, is here with me in studio now. And 00:25:39.500 --> 00:25:42.220 Chip, all this last month, we asked our listeners 00:25:42.220 --> 00:25:44.240 to partner with us in the work we're involved 00:25:44.240 --> 00:25:46.779 in all around the world. And now that our mid 00:25:46.779 --> 00:25:49.019 -year match is over, you wanted to say something 00:25:49.019 --> 00:25:52.000 to everyone. Well, Dave, I just wanted to pause. 00:25:52.220 --> 00:25:54.279 I mean, to really pause and tell you from the 00:25:54.279 --> 00:25:57.339 bottom of my heart, thank you. You know, every 00:25:57.339 --> 00:26:00.380 time a person makes a financial gift, a spiritual 00:26:00.380 --> 00:26:03.089 transaction occurs. In other words, something 00:26:03.089 --> 00:26:07.269 actually happens in a person's heart. And I speak 00:26:07.269 --> 00:26:09.910 to those of you who gave. You gave. You responded. 00:26:10.349 --> 00:26:12.609 You invested in living on the edge. And I want 00:26:12.609 --> 00:26:15.130 you to know that as you've invested, we're going 00:26:15.130 --> 00:26:18.150 to invest in the lives of people here and all 00:26:18.150 --> 00:26:21.369 around the world. It really matters. And we are 00:26:21.369 --> 00:26:24.660 super grateful. Thank you, each one of you who 00:26:24.660 --> 00:26:27.099 prayed and said, Lord, what do you want me to 00:26:27.099 --> 00:26:30.039 do? And then you followed his lead. The final 00:26:30.039 --> 00:26:32.039 numbers will be on our website as soon as we 00:26:32.039 --> 00:26:34.759 get all the mail that comes in. But I just want 00:26:34.759 --> 00:26:37.920 to say thank you. Thank you so very much for 00:26:37.920 --> 00:26:40.740 hearing from God, responding to God, and for 00:26:40.740 --> 00:26:44.170 being so generous. Amen. Well, we truly celebrate 00:26:44.170 --> 00:26:47.049 every gift we've received and are excited to 00:26:47.049 --> 00:26:49.329 see how God will use it to motivate Christians 00:26:49.329 --> 00:26:52.430 to live like Christians everywhere. So from the 00:26:52.430 --> 00:26:54.769 entire staff here at Living on the Edge, thank 00:26:54.769 --> 00:26:57.190 you for your support. Well, here again is Chip 00:26:57.190 --> 00:26:59.369 to share a few final thoughts from this message. 00:26:59.990 --> 00:27:03.710 As we wrap up today's program, I want to ask 00:27:03.710 --> 00:27:06.829 you something very personal. Who did the Lord 00:27:06.829 --> 00:27:10.470 bring to your mind as I was wrapping up the teaching 00:27:10.470 --> 00:27:14.339 time? I mean, who was it? And before you start 00:27:14.339 --> 00:27:16.759 into, oh, I'm not really all that mad. It's not 00:27:16.759 --> 00:27:19.019 that big a problem, et cetera, et cetera. Just 00:27:19.019 --> 00:27:23.279 who did God bring to your mind? And what I want 00:27:23.279 --> 00:27:25.519 you to know now is that the Lord is giving you 00:27:25.519 --> 00:27:29.940 an opportunity to choose peace. Most of us shove 00:27:29.940 --> 00:27:32.819 this to the side, write people off, pretend it's 00:27:32.819 --> 00:27:36.160 not a problem, often get depressed because we 00:27:36.160 --> 00:27:38.740 don't ever deal with the issues, the resentment, 00:27:38.900 --> 00:27:42.400 the bitterness, the anger. Unresolved conflicts 00:27:42.400 --> 00:27:46.000 don't get better with time. They get better with 00:27:46.000 --> 00:27:49.660 faith and action and courage. And I gave you 00:27:49.660 --> 00:27:52.519 five specific ways. In fact, you may want to 00:27:52.519 --> 00:27:54.980 go to our website and download these notes and 00:27:54.980 --> 00:27:58.140 review them a few times before you act on them. 00:27:58.220 --> 00:28:01.380 But let me do a review. Number one, resolve to 00:28:01.380 --> 00:28:04.099 stop procrastinating. I want you to put a date 00:28:04.099 --> 00:28:06.859 on the calendar. I mean, open your phone and 00:28:06.859 --> 00:28:10.119 stick it on a day that I'm going to act on this. 00:28:10.200 --> 00:28:13.039 I'm going to start the process of resolving this 00:28:13.039 --> 00:28:15.960 conflict. Number two, reevaluate your expectations. 00:28:16.779 --> 00:28:20.740 I mean, we talked about that, but, I mean, you 00:28:20.740 --> 00:28:22.900 really think this person's entire personality 00:28:22.900 --> 00:28:25.339 and perspective is going to change overnight? 00:28:25.660 --> 00:28:28.299 You know, what can you reasonably expect, and 00:28:28.299 --> 00:28:30.980 can you just do as far as it depends on you? 00:28:31.059 --> 00:28:34.160 Maybe things won't be wonderful, but as far as 00:28:34.160 --> 00:28:36.400 it depends on you, you could say, Lord, I've 00:28:36.400 --> 00:28:39.980 done my part. Third, get competent outside help. 00:28:40.539 --> 00:28:42.980 If you could have solved it on your own, it would 00:28:42.980 --> 00:28:46.000 have been solved by now. I'm so glad that in 00:28:46.000 --> 00:28:49.400 my marriage and at least a couple really difficult 00:28:49.400 --> 00:28:52.720 work situations, I've needed someone else to 00:28:52.720 --> 00:28:55.839 come in and be that objective third party to 00:28:55.839 --> 00:28:58.640 help both of us learn and grow. Number four, 00:28:58.900 --> 00:29:02.940 refuse to allow a relationship to ruin your life. 00:29:03.180 --> 00:29:05.299 I mean, do you realize how much time, how much 00:29:05.299 --> 00:29:09.170 energy, how much stomach acid, how many conversations 00:29:09.170 --> 00:29:12.029 you've had with other people about this. Don't 00:29:12.029 --> 00:29:15.609 let one relationship ruin your life. And finally, 00:29:15.650 --> 00:29:20.289 remember that your right response matters way 00:29:20.289 --> 00:29:23.549 more to God than your rights. And so, Lord, I 00:29:23.549 --> 00:29:27.210 pray you said that the world would know that 00:29:27.210 --> 00:29:29.609 we are yours by the way that we love one another. 00:29:29.869 --> 00:29:33.569 And when we don't, it screams that you're not 00:29:33.569 --> 00:29:36.730 true. And Father, not just for our sake, but 00:29:36.730 --> 00:29:40.630 we pray right now for your reputation that you 00:29:40.630 --> 00:29:44.529 would give each one of us right now courage and 00:29:44.529 --> 00:29:48.509 faith to follow these steps. And Father, I pray 00:29:48.509 --> 00:29:52.150 you'll bring unity and peace and resolution. 00:29:52.829 --> 00:29:56.829 Lord, first for your glory and then for the resolution 00:29:56.829 --> 00:29:59.250 and the joy that you want in our relationships 00:29:59.250 --> 00:30:02.809 with one another. In Jesus' name, amen. Amen. 00:30:03.049 --> 00:30:05.529 Thanks, Chip. Hey, before we go, in case you 00:30:05.529 --> 00:30:07.690 missed some of the points Chip just reviewed, 00:30:07.910 --> 00:30:09.890 they're pulled straight from his message notes, 00:30:10.069 --> 00:30:13.170 a tool available for every program. So get this 00:30:13.170 --> 00:30:15.630 resource before you listen to us again. Chip's 00:30:15.630 --> 00:30:17.849 notes include his outline, all of the scripture 00:30:17.849 --> 00:30:20.309 references, and lots of fill -ins to help you 00:30:20.309 --> 00:30:22.390 remember what you're learning. Download them 00:30:22.390 --> 00:30:25.549 at livingontheedge .org under the broadcasts 00:30:25.549 --> 00:30:28.769 tab. App listeners, just tap fill -in notes. 00:30:29.519 --> 00:30:31.779 For Chip and the entire team here, this is Dave 00:30:31.779 --> 00:30:33.779 Drewy thanking you for listening to this edition 00:30:33.779 --> 00:30:36.720 of Living on the Edge, and I hope you'll join 00:30:36.720 --> 00:30:37.700 us again next time.