WEBVTT 00:00:01.199 --> 00:00:04.980 What does it really mean to have peace? I mean, 00:00:05.000 --> 00:00:08.080 is it just being calm and centered, or is it 00:00:08.080 --> 00:00:11.359 avoiding conflict and anxiety? What if it's much 00:00:11.359 --> 00:00:15.380 more? What if it's contentment, wholeness, satisfaction? 00:00:16.300 --> 00:00:18.539 That's the kind of peace God wants to give you. 00:00:18.800 --> 00:00:21.839 Today, we're going to learn, even in tough relationships, 00:00:21.960 --> 00:00:27.559 how you can experience it. Welcome to this edition 00:00:27.559 --> 00:00:30.690 of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. The mission 00:00:30.690 --> 00:00:33.149 of this daily program is to intentionally disciple 00:00:33.149 --> 00:00:35.429 Christians through the insightful Bible teaching 00:00:35.429 --> 00:00:37.810 of Chip Ingram. And today we begin his popular 00:00:37.810 --> 00:00:41.009 series, I Choose Peace, How to Quiet Your Heart 00:00:41.009 --> 00:00:43.670 in the Chaos of Life. For the next handful of 00:00:43.670 --> 00:00:45.770 programs, Chip will take us on a journey through 00:00:45.770 --> 00:00:48.770 Philippians chapter 4, revealing God's incredible 00:00:48.770 --> 00:00:52.149 gift of peace. Discover how we can have a biblical 00:00:52.149 --> 00:00:54.909 response even in times of uncertainty, pain, 00:00:55.149 --> 00:00:58.289 anxiety, and conflict. I hope you'll join us 00:00:58.289 --> 00:01:00.729 for every message. And because this is such a 00:01:00.729 --> 00:01:03.049 relevant topic, invite a few friends to listen, 00:01:03.189 --> 00:01:06.829 either through the Chip Ingram app or livingontheedge 00:01:06.829 --> 00:01:10.730 .org. With all that said, here's Chip to kick 00:01:10.730 --> 00:01:13.790 off this series with his talk in relational conflict. 00:01:15.290 --> 00:01:17.290 Many of you know, and some of you don't, I didn't 00:01:17.290 --> 00:01:20.670 grow up as a follower of Christ. And I actually 00:01:20.670 --> 00:01:23.769 went to a church that I don't think God was present 00:01:23.769 --> 00:01:26.150 in, and people said one thing and lived another 00:01:26.150 --> 00:01:29.689 way. So by 15 or 16, I thought, you know, I don't 00:01:29.689 --> 00:01:31.390 know if God exists or not, but he's certainly 00:01:31.390 --> 00:01:34.090 not here. And I didn't think I needed him anyway. 00:01:35.049 --> 00:01:38.090 And a series of circumstances and some family 00:01:38.090 --> 00:01:41.569 issues and dreams and crushes and the things 00:01:41.569 --> 00:01:45.049 we go through, God brought me to the point where 00:01:45.049 --> 00:01:47.310 I met some people whose lives were so radically 00:01:47.310 --> 00:01:51.329 different. that God loves me and you could have 00:01:51.329 --> 00:01:53.609 a personal relationship with the one who made 00:01:53.609 --> 00:01:56.730 you. That Christ came and lived a perfect life 00:01:56.730 --> 00:02:00.329 and he died in my place to break down all the 00:02:00.329 --> 00:02:03.010 walls and all the barriers and I could have peace 00:02:03.010 --> 00:02:06.469 with God. And it was really, really new to me. 00:02:06.510 --> 00:02:11.650 I was very skeptical. But in 1972, as much as 00:02:11.650 --> 00:02:14.669 I could understand, I turned from my self -will 00:02:14.669 --> 00:02:17.710 and my sin and I asked Christ to forgive me and 00:02:17.710 --> 00:02:20.719 come into my life. And they gave me a little 00:02:20.719 --> 00:02:23.300 Bible that was easy to understand. And no one 00:02:23.300 --> 00:02:25.139 told me I had to read it, but I just couldn't 00:02:25.139 --> 00:02:27.939 put it down. And I hid it under my pillow so 00:02:27.939 --> 00:02:30.560 my parents would not think I went to a camp and 00:02:30.560 --> 00:02:34.419 now became a Jesus freak or flipped out. And 00:02:34.419 --> 00:02:37.120 my desires started changing. But the most phenomenal 00:02:37.120 --> 00:02:43.500 thing was peace. I was a very driven, overachieving, 00:02:43.500 --> 00:02:48.770 type A, insecure maniac. That, you know, just, 00:02:48.870 --> 00:02:50.789 you know, got to get a scholarship, got to date 00:02:50.789 --> 00:02:54.789 the right girl, all that stuff. And it made for 00:02:54.789 --> 00:02:58.509 a really hyped up person. And it was like, wow, 00:02:58.830 --> 00:03:01.069 I couldn't understand it. There's no one to impress. 00:03:03.310 --> 00:03:06.250 What other people think is, I'm sure there's 00:03:06.250 --> 00:03:07.969 some value, but that's not really important. 00:03:08.250 --> 00:03:11.090 I was sort of in this awe that, now the God who 00:03:11.090 --> 00:03:14.659 made me? has forgiven me. He's taken up residence 00:03:14.659 --> 00:03:19.840 in me. And as I would read this Bible, and it 00:03:19.840 --> 00:03:23.979 was all new to me, and there was just a calm 00:03:23.979 --> 00:03:26.099 and a peace when things were up and when they 00:03:26.099 --> 00:03:28.740 were down that I could not explain. So much so 00:03:28.740 --> 00:03:33.360 that a year later, my father, who was an alcoholic 00:03:33.360 --> 00:03:39.030 and a Marine, I mean, he was retired, but if 00:03:39.030 --> 00:03:42.530 you meet a real Marine, I used the word ex -Marine 00:03:42.530 --> 00:03:47.189 once, and I was corrected quickly. And I came 00:03:47.189 --> 00:03:49.110 home from college after one year, and he said, 00:03:49.150 --> 00:03:50.750 what's with you? I said, what do you mean, what's 00:03:50.750 --> 00:03:53.530 with me? You're different. I said, what do you 00:03:53.530 --> 00:03:55.289 mean I'm different? No, you're really different. 00:03:55.849 --> 00:03:58.569 I said, well, what's different? He says, there's 00:03:58.569 --> 00:04:01.810 a peace in your life. And then he turned to me 00:04:01.810 --> 00:04:05.090 and said, how do you get it? How do you get that? 00:04:06.220 --> 00:04:08.060 And, you know, being the great theologian at 00:04:08.060 --> 00:04:13.240 the time, I said, I have no idea. You know, some 00:04:13.240 --> 00:04:15.080 of that stuff we heard growing up in church, 00:04:15.099 --> 00:04:17.899 but all I can tell you is I have a personal relationship 00:04:17.899 --> 00:04:22.079 with God and I'm reading the New Testament. He 00:04:22.079 --> 00:04:24.240 said, where do I get one of those? Here's what 00:04:24.240 --> 00:04:26.680 I want to tell you. The title of this series 00:04:26.680 --> 00:04:30.000 is called I Choose Peace because peace is a gift 00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:32.910 and it's a choice. And you can have it if you've 00:04:32.910 --> 00:04:35.009 never had it. But here's what I can also tell 00:04:35.009 --> 00:04:37.949 you. As a follower of Jesus, I experienced that 00:04:37.949 --> 00:04:40.769 peace. And I've actually figured out ways to 00:04:40.769 --> 00:04:43.670 quench it so I don't experience it. I've learned 00:04:43.670 --> 00:04:45.769 how to worry. I've learned how to be uptight. 00:04:45.970 --> 00:04:47.889 I've learned how to focus on the future. I've 00:04:47.889 --> 00:04:49.589 learned to get in conflict with other Christians 00:04:49.589 --> 00:04:52.730 and other people, including my wife, where that 00:04:52.730 --> 00:04:56.389 peace just dissipates. And I'm guessing some 00:04:56.389 --> 00:05:02.850 of you have had that. Excuse me, Lord, I'm checking 00:05:02.850 --> 00:05:04.449 out of this place. I'm the only one that this, 00:05:04.490 --> 00:05:07.250 no, I'm kidding, okay? So we're gonna learn how 00:05:07.250 --> 00:05:11.649 to do that. So begin thinking, is there any relational 00:05:11.649 --> 00:05:13.990 conflict in your family, one of your kids, a 00:05:13.990 --> 00:05:16.810 roommate at work, a neighbor? Because we're gonna 00:05:16.810 --> 00:05:20.670 talk about how you can choose peace and literally 00:05:20.670 --> 00:05:24.170 experience restoration. With that said, you'll 00:05:24.170 --> 00:05:26.790 notice on your notes, there's three approaches, 00:05:26.829 --> 00:05:29.370 or what I would say, there's three sources of 00:05:29.370 --> 00:05:34.110 peace. And I mean this by sources. When I say 00:05:34.110 --> 00:05:35.709 what I'm going to say, don't think everything 00:05:35.709 --> 00:05:38.230 is terrible or wrong with a couple of these things. 00:05:38.389 --> 00:05:41.610 There's some great skills, but as a source. In 00:05:41.610 --> 00:05:44.750 other words, one source in our day would be peace 00:05:44.750 --> 00:05:47.110 is within you. You just need to discover it. 00:05:47.129 --> 00:05:51.029 It's inward. Key words would be meditation, relaxation. 00:05:51.970 --> 00:05:58.100 You need to center. And that the peace is your 00:05:58.100 --> 00:06:01.399 harmony with the cosmos, but where you need to 00:06:01.399 --> 00:06:06.839 look for peace is within. The second source we 00:06:06.839 --> 00:06:12.439 are told about peace is outward. Words like achieve, 00:06:12.879 --> 00:06:18.040 conquer, control, perform. In other words, the 00:06:18.040 --> 00:06:21.399 peace is out there. You need to accomplish this, 00:06:21.560 --> 00:06:24.480 conquer that. You need to get into a good school, 00:06:24.600 --> 00:06:27.019 get great grades, find the right person, get 00:06:27.019 --> 00:06:29.660 a great job, live in a nice home, drive a nice 00:06:29.660 --> 00:06:32.199 car, achieve certain things, have a certain amount 00:06:32.199 --> 00:06:34.519 of money. And somehow, someday, as you do all 00:06:34.519 --> 00:06:36.980 those things and you achieve and conquer and 00:06:36.980 --> 00:06:40.579 perform, then your desires and your circumstances 00:06:40.579 --> 00:06:43.480 will align, and then someday you'll have peace. 00:06:45.359 --> 00:06:47.500 That's the Western way, the American way. The 00:06:47.500 --> 00:06:49.699 first is more Eastern. Now, don't get me wrong. 00:06:50.139 --> 00:06:53.040 Are there some good things we learn about maybe 00:06:53.040 --> 00:06:56.139 breathing to take away stress or stretching? 00:06:56.699 --> 00:07:00.160 Or is there goals that we learn from sort of 00:07:00.160 --> 00:07:02.100 achieving and growing? But I'm talking about 00:07:02.100 --> 00:07:06.579 the source. A movie came out and it told the 00:07:06.579 --> 00:07:08.540 story of the richest man in the world at the 00:07:08.540 --> 00:07:12.029 time, J. Paul Getty. And the story of the movie, 00:07:12.089 --> 00:07:13.829 I think it's called, I didn't get to watch it, 00:07:13.870 --> 00:07:16.029 but I read the review. It's called All the Money 00:07:16.029 --> 00:07:18.410 in the World. And in 1973, he was the richest 00:07:18.410 --> 00:07:20.329 person in the world. He's bringing in about, 00:07:20.410 --> 00:07:24.709 oil business alone, 20 million a day. And the 00:07:24.709 --> 00:07:28.170 story goes on of a man who's consumed with money. 00:07:28.730 --> 00:07:31.110 He had five divorces, and it's interesting, near 00:07:31.110 --> 00:07:35.470 the end of his life. I mean, if the outward could 00:07:35.470 --> 00:07:38.959 deliver, this guy has everything. The end of 00:07:38.959 --> 00:07:40.500 his life, they said, do you have any regrets? 00:07:41.459 --> 00:07:45.360 He said, I have two. He was not on speaking terms 00:07:45.360 --> 00:07:49.939 with his children. I would give all the money, 00:07:50.040 --> 00:07:54.139 think of that, all the money away tomorrow for 00:07:54.139 --> 00:07:58.079 one good marriage and personal peace in my heart. 00:08:02.060 --> 00:08:05.720 You can't buy those, can you? But even as followers 00:08:05.720 --> 00:08:10.439 of Christ, You cannot experience those. The third 00:08:10.439 --> 00:08:14.220 is the upward. It's words like trust, depend, 00:08:14.660 --> 00:08:21.920 abide. Words like faith and love and obey. See, 00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:24.720 the peace of God isn't some ethereal something 00:08:24.720 --> 00:08:27.500 that you can discover with alignment. It's not 00:08:27.500 --> 00:08:30.459 achieving things. Peace is actually a person. 00:08:30.920 --> 00:08:34.629 Jesus said, my peace I give to you. Not as the 00:08:34.629 --> 00:08:37.690 world gives, but my peace I give to you. In other 00:08:37.690 --> 00:08:39.730 words, when I turned, I didn't know this happened, 00:08:39.830 --> 00:08:42.789 from my sin, and I invited Christ to come into 00:08:42.789 --> 00:08:45.210 my life and forgive me, he takes up residence, 00:08:45.370 --> 00:08:47.950 and he seals me by his Spirit, and the person 00:08:47.950 --> 00:08:50.330 of Jesus in the person of the Holy Spirit lives 00:08:50.330 --> 00:08:53.250 in you, and there's a control and a goodness 00:08:53.250 --> 00:08:56.009 and a calm. In fact, the fruit of the Spirit 00:08:56.009 --> 00:09:00.029 is love, joy. For those who don't know, love, 00:09:00.090 --> 00:09:04.620 joy. So as I'm abiding, whether circumstances 00:09:04.620 --> 00:09:08.100 are up or down, relationships good or bad, the 00:09:08.100 --> 00:09:13.500 stock market goes north or south, there's a supernatural 00:09:13.500 --> 00:09:16.080 peace, the Bible says, that transcends understanding, 00:09:16.460 --> 00:09:18.759 that he'll keep you in perfect peace as your 00:09:18.759 --> 00:09:21.500 mind is stayed on him because you trust him. 00:09:21.639 --> 00:09:24.779 That's what we're talking about. When the world 00:09:24.779 --> 00:09:27.220 or the dictionary defines peace, it's usually 00:09:27.220 --> 00:09:29.500 the absence of things. Notice I put the definition 00:09:29.500 --> 00:09:32.070 in your notes. It's the absence of disturbance 00:09:32.070 --> 00:09:36.610 and hostility. It's free from internal and external 00:09:36.610 --> 00:09:40.009 strife. In other words, we think peace is just, 00:09:40.029 --> 00:09:41.929 it's calm. We're just kind of getting along. 00:09:42.250 --> 00:09:44.610 There's no big thing out there where there's 00:09:44.610 --> 00:09:48.549 no big conflict within here. The word peace and 00:09:48.549 --> 00:09:50.389 the kind of peace we're going to learn about 00:09:50.389 --> 00:09:54.769 and choose and enjoy is a peace that is not just 00:09:54.769 --> 00:09:57.490 the external or just the internal. It's something 00:09:57.490 --> 00:10:01.100 that God adds. The Hebrew word is shalom. And 00:10:01.100 --> 00:10:04.200 we know it means peace, but the word shalom is 00:10:04.200 --> 00:10:06.559 way, way bigger. There's four aspects of shalom. 00:10:06.679 --> 00:10:09.940 First, it's the complete soundness or wholeness 00:10:09.940 --> 00:10:12.700 of health. It's a peace of your mind, your body, 00:10:12.779 --> 00:10:16.139 and your emotions. Second, it's harmony in relationships. 00:10:16.320 --> 00:10:19.039 You have shalom in your marriage, shalom with 00:10:19.039 --> 00:10:21.639 your neighbors. You have shalom at work. You 00:10:21.639 --> 00:10:25.000 have shalom with the body of Christ. Third, it's 00:10:25.000 --> 00:10:28.059 success or progress with your purpose. In other 00:10:28.059 --> 00:10:30.919 words, there's great peace in, I was made to 00:10:30.919 --> 00:10:33.580 do this. I'm in line with the creator of what 00:10:33.580 --> 00:10:36.600 he made me to do, and I have ups and downs, but 00:10:36.600 --> 00:10:39.519 I'm doing it, and there's a peace. There's people 00:10:39.519 --> 00:10:41.279 that spend their whole life wondering, should 00:10:41.279 --> 00:10:43.440 I be in this job? Should we really live here? 00:10:43.620 --> 00:10:47.080 Should I do that? There's no peace. And there's 00:10:47.080 --> 00:10:48.899 the FOMO. There's always the fear of missing 00:10:48.899 --> 00:10:50.740 out. Maybe I should be doing this. Oh, maybe 00:10:50.740 --> 00:10:52.039 I should be doing this. Oh, maybe I should be 00:10:52.039 --> 00:10:54.639 doing this. And you have this acid going around. 00:10:55.600 --> 00:10:57.659 Peace may be the greatest thing God could ever 00:10:57.659 --> 00:11:00.019 give you, and if you're a follower, you have 00:11:00.019 --> 00:11:05.120 it. It's a choice. In fact, the shalom is victory 00:11:05.120 --> 00:11:08.379 over your enemies. It's that God will protect 00:11:08.379 --> 00:11:12.259 you. Jesus' last words on the last night, he 00:11:12.259 --> 00:11:15.279 said to his disciples, peace I leave with you, 00:11:15.379 --> 00:11:21.000 my peace I give you. I do not give as the world 00:11:21.000 --> 00:11:24.320 gives. And then what a great line for us, the 00:11:24.320 --> 00:11:26.179 world where it's at. Do not let your heart be 00:11:26.179 --> 00:11:31.879 troubled. Don't be afraid. Let not your heart 00:11:31.879 --> 00:11:34.740 be troubled. Don't look at anybody right now. 00:11:35.940 --> 00:11:39.860 But can I just ask you to ask yourself, is your 00:11:39.860 --> 00:11:45.320 heart troubled? I mean, for real. Are you afraid? 00:11:47.279 --> 00:11:49.899 Do you find yourself watching the news or hearing 00:11:49.899 --> 00:11:52.779 information or worried about your job or convinced 00:11:52.779 --> 00:11:55.059 in your mind you're never going to get married 00:11:55.059 --> 00:11:56.779 or convinced that the marriage you have is never 00:11:56.779 --> 00:12:00.320 going to be any good or right? You understand 00:12:00.320 --> 00:12:03.759 you can live your whole life with a supernatural 00:12:03.759 --> 00:12:07.860 peace as a follower of Christ available and not 00:12:07.860 --> 00:12:10.639 choose it. And so we're going to go through the 00:12:10.639 --> 00:12:14.009 five things that rob us of our peace. In Philippians 00:12:14.009 --> 00:12:16.710 chapter 4, and the first one is conflict in a 00:12:16.710 --> 00:12:20.450 relationship. There's a question on the bottom 00:12:20.450 --> 00:12:22.610 of the page. See, this could end up a seminar. 00:12:23.470 --> 00:12:25.490 And you could be, oh, this is really interesting 00:12:25.490 --> 00:12:28.350 information, and I took Psych 201, and there's 00:12:28.350 --> 00:12:30.409 a lot of principles here, and oh, this is really 00:12:30.409 --> 00:12:32.950 good. No, no, no, this isn't a seminar. Here's 00:12:32.950 --> 00:12:38.889 the deal. Who in your relational network are 00:12:38.889 --> 00:12:43.269 you at odds with? If you had to come up with 00:12:43.269 --> 00:12:45.049 a person, a mom, a dad, a brother, a sister, 00:12:45.169 --> 00:12:47.610 one of your kids, a roommate, a neighbor, a fellow 00:12:47.610 --> 00:12:50.409 worker, if there's someone that you could just 00:12:50.409 --> 00:12:52.529 whisper, oh God, because some of them, they're 00:12:52.529 --> 00:12:54.629 so in the past and we push it down. You know, 00:12:54.649 --> 00:12:56.970 it's a brother -in -law, it's an ex -mate, there's 00:12:56.970 --> 00:12:59.769 issues. And what happens is you don't deal with 00:12:59.769 --> 00:13:03.629 poison and hostility and lack of relationship 00:13:03.629 --> 00:13:06.909 health. Bad stuff happens to your stomach and 00:13:06.909 --> 00:13:10.279 your migraines and your soul. And we're going 00:13:10.279 --> 00:13:12.299 to walk through a process that the Bible will 00:13:12.299 --> 00:13:18.259 give about how to get peace when you have relational 00:13:18.259 --> 00:13:21.700 conflict. So I want you to think about who would 00:13:21.700 --> 00:13:24.200 you really like to have peace with? Who would 00:13:24.200 --> 00:13:28.279 you like to say, as far as it depends on you, 00:13:28.340 --> 00:13:30.340 I'm not saying that there's reconciliation and 00:13:30.340 --> 00:13:32.059 everything's going to be wonderful, but as far 00:13:32.059 --> 00:13:36.299 as it depends on you, who? Because I want you 00:13:36.299 --> 00:13:39.129 to listen through the lens of that person. Now, 00:13:39.190 --> 00:13:41.230 for some of you, it's your mate and they're not 00:13:41.230 --> 00:13:44.070 here. And your first thought is, well, I wish 00:13:44.070 --> 00:13:46.009 they were here because he really needs to hear 00:13:46.009 --> 00:13:48.309 this or she really needs to hear this. Because 00:13:48.309 --> 00:13:51.029 like me, 95 % of all my relational problems are 00:13:51.029 --> 00:13:57.149 someone else's fault. Right? Honest, it's how 00:13:57.149 --> 00:14:00.419 we think. So many of our relationships, if my 00:14:00.419 --> 00:14:02.679 supervisor, if my boss, if one of my kids, if 00:14:02.679 --> 00:14:05.399 my mom, if my dad, you know, if she or he would 00:14:05.399 --> 00:14:07.000 just straighten up and get with the program, 00:14:07.159 --> 00:14:10.039 we'd have a great relationship. I'm kind of the 00:14:10.039 --> 00:14:11.700 person on the right, and they're totally messed 00:14:11.700 --> 00:14:13.960 up. Now, we never say it quite like that. We 00:14:13.960 --> 00:14:16.019 just feel it, and we have emotions and anger 00:14:16.019 --> 00:14:19.860 and resentment. You're listening to Living on 00:14:19.860 --> 00:14:22.149 the Edge. And you'll be back to continue our 00:14:22.149 --> 00:14:25.009 series, I Choose Peace, in just a minute. But 00:14:25.009 --> 00:14:27.009 let me quickly tell you that we are more than 00:14:27.009 --> 00:14:29.370 a broadcast ministry. We're supporting pastors 00:14:29.370 --> 00:14:32.750 globally, developing helpful resources, and sharing 00:14:32.750 --> 00:14:35.629 the gospel with this next generation. So if you'd 00:14:35.629 --> 00:14:37.629 like to join us in these efforts, become a monthly 00:14:37.629 --> 00:14:42.250 partner by going to livingontheedge .org. Thanks 00:14:42.250 --> 00:14:45.809 for your support. Well, here again is Chip. What 00:14:45.809 --> 00:14:48.029 you have in Philippians chapter 4 in the context 00:14:48.029 --> 00:14:51.740 is this. There's a man in prison named the Apostle 00:14:51.740 --> 00:14:54.440 Paul. There's a church that he loves deeply. 00:14:54.639 --> 00:14:58.039 He's been in prison there. A church grew. There's 00:14:58.039 --> 00:15:01.460 a deep connection. God did amazing things. And 00:15:01.460 --> 00:15:03.340 now there's some struggles in the church. Some 00:15:03.340 --> 00:15:05.100 people at the end of chapter three are kind of 00:15:05.100 --> 00:15:08.360 drifting away from the Lord. There's some conflict 00:15:08.360 --> 00:15:10.500 we're going to find with people within the church. 00:15:11.000 --> 00:15:14.460 And I mean, he loves them. I mean, he so loves 00:15:14.460 --> 00:15:16.960 them and he wanted to remind them there's hope 00:15:16.960 --> 00:15:19.000 and there's persecution even in the midst of 00:15:19.000 --> 00:15:21.100 this world. And he reminded at the end of chapter 00:15:21.100 --> 00:15:24.279 three that, you know what? Jesus really is coming 00:15:24.279 --> 00:15:27.000 back. There is a heaven that's real. There's 00:15:27.000 --> 00:15:31.120 a reality that the only sure hope in the world 00:15:31.120 --> 00:15:33.659 that we live in is laying hold of. Our citizenship 00:15:33.659 --> 00:15:36.639 really is in heaven. But we're to live out this 00:15:36.639 --> 00:15:39.809 life dramatically different on earth. And so 00:15:39.809 --> 00:15:41.970 he talked about that, and now he's going to say, 00:15:42.070 --> 00:15:44.769 it's more than just your individual life kind 00:15:44.769 --> 00:15:47.809 of walking faithfully with God. He says there's 00:15:47.809 --> 00:15:50.710 a relationship problem. There's relational conflict, 00:15:50.809 --> 00:15:54.529 and he's going to address it. In verse 1, what 00:15:54.529 --> 00:15:57.590 I want you to listen for is his heart. Ask yourself, 00:15:57.950 --> 00:16:02.570 is he mad? Is he angry? Is this God saying, get 00:16:02.570 --> 00:16:06.570 with the program? Verse 1, therefore, my brothers 00:16:06.570 --> 00:16:10.690 in whom I love. And I long for my joy and my 00:16:10.690 --> 00:16:13.309 crown. That is how you should stand firm in the 00:16:13.309 --> 00:16:16.429 Lord, dear friends. Would you circle the word 00:16:16.429 --> 00:16:21.210 in your notes? Love, long for, joy, crown. And 00:16:21.210 --> 00:16:24.789 would you put a box around stand firm? He's saying, 00:16:24.850 --> 00:16:29.009 we have this hope. We have this peace. God so 00:16:29.009 --> 00:16:31.909 loves us. He wants us to walk this out together. 00:16:32.169 --> 00:16:34.789 So I love you and I care for you. And what I'm 00:16:34.789 --> 00:16:37.830 about to say, I'm not down on anyone. But when 00:16:37.830 --> 00:16:40.330 you don't experience corporately or individually 00:16:40.330 --> 00:16:42.830 the peace that God has already granted, it breaks 00:16:42.830 --> 00:16:45.110 my heart as sort of the spirit. And it says the 00:16:45.110 --> 00:16:47.269 way you stand firm is you know where you're going 00:16:47.269 --> 00:16:49.429 and you have this hope. And now he's going to 00:16:49.429 --> 00:16:52.070 have a request or literally a plea of two ladies 00:16:52.070 --> 00:16:54.610 that are not getting along. I plead with you, 00:16:54.629 --> 00:16:57.389 Euodia, and I plead with you, Syntyche, to agree 00:16:57.389 --> 00:17:00.429 with each other in the Lord. Circle the word 00:17:00.429 --> 00:17:03.029 to agree. It's a very interesting Greek word. 00:17:03.110 --> 00:17:05.289 It means to be of the same mind, to think the 00:17:05.289 --> 00:17:08.740 same thoughts. What we know we're going to learn 00:17:08.740 --> 00:17:11.960 is both these are really good women. This isn't 00:17:11.960 --> 00:17:14.680 a good person and a bad person. That's what we 00:17:14.680 --> 00:17:17.140 know from this context. It's not a moral issue. 00:17:17.200 --> 00:17:22.039 It's not a doctrinal issue. But we have two powerhouse 00:17:22.039 --> 00:17:24.740 people in this local church who've been greatly 00:17:24.740 --> 00:17:27.460 used of God, and something's happened that they 00:17:27.460 --> 00:17:30.059 are not getting along. And when key people in 00:17:30.059 --> 00:17:32.380 a small group, key people in a house called a 00:17:32.380 --> 00:17:34.750 mom or a dad, two roommates, whatever it is, 00:17:34.789 --> 00:17:36.250 when you don't get along with someone, what's 00:17:36.250 --> 00:17:40.750 it do? It affects other people. So he has a plea 00:17:40.750 --> 00:17:43.789 in verse three. He says, yes, and I ask you, 00:17:43.809 --> 00:17:48.049 loyal yoke fellow, help these women. Would you 00:17:48.049 --> 00:17:51.309 circle the word help? Sometimes in relational 00:17:51.309 --> 00:17:53.890 conflict, no matter what you do, it doesn't get 00:17:53.890 --> 00:17:57.809 better. You need help. And then who are these 00:17:57.809 --> 00:18:00.869 women? These women who have contended at my side 00:18:00.869 --> 00:18:03.369 in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement 00:18:03.369 --> 00:18:05.309 and the rest of my fellow workers, and whose 00:18:05.309 --> 00:18:08.470 names are in the book of life. We learn two things 00:18:08.470 --> 00:18:10.750 about these women. One, they've contended. I 00:18:10.750 --> 00:18:12.789 mean, he's saying, I mean, my right hand, my 00:18:12.789 --> 00:18:15.670 left hand, these are women that prayed and fasted 00:18:15.670 --> 00:18:17.950 and gave, and we were in the midst of persecution, 00:18:18.029 --> 00:18:19.990 and that little church got birthed, and man, 00:18:20.069 --> 00:18:23.329 I love them both, and they're great people. There's 00:18:23.329 --> 00:18:27.309 no bad person here. In fact, I'm absolutely certain 00:18:27.309 --> 00:18:29.970 their names are written in the book of life. 00:18:30.690 --> 00:18:34.349 So, but they can't get along. The phrase here, 00:18:34.490 --> 00:18:37.109 loyal yoke fellow is actually a proper name, 00:18:37.450 --> 00:18:41.910 susages. But since no one can pronounce it, including 00:18:41.910 --> 00:18:45.630 me, many translators take the meaning of the 00:18:45.630 --> 00:18:48.970 name, which is a loyal yoke fellow. And the word 00:18:48.970 --> 00:18:51.690 literally means someone that, you know, can take 00:18:51.690 --> 00:18:56.809 like two oxen and have them. be in harmony, and 00:18:56.809 --> 00:18:59.809 walk together. And what he's saying is, hey, 00:18:59.890 --> 00:19:01.890 we've got a problem. We've got a problem in our 00:19:01.890 --> 00:19:03.250 small group. We've got a problem in our church. 00:19:03.390 --> 00:19:05.390 We've got a problem in our family. These people 00:19:05.390 --> 00:19:07.789 are at each other. They have resentment. They 00:19:07.789 --> 00:19:11.430 have hurt. It's affecting the church. I'm asking 00:19:11.430 --> 00:19:13.789 someone competent, can you sit down with them, 00:19:13.930 --> 00:19:16.769 probably someone with a gift of exhortation and 00:19:16.769 --> 00:19:19.190 a wise counselor, and can you help them? And 00:19:19.190 --> 00:19:21.190 then in verse four, he gives a command concerning 00:19:21.190 --> 00:19:23.390 the relational focus. Because when there's conflict, 00:19:23.509 --> 00:19:24.650 what do you do? Who do you think about all the 00:19:24.650 --> 00:19:27.109 time? You think about this person, right? You're 00:19:27.109 --> 00:19:29.130 driving in your car and you have anger fantasies. 00:19:29.869 --> 00:19:31.950 You know, she did that. She did that. You replay 00:19:31.950 --> 00:19:33.950 it in your mind. She said that. He did that. 00:19:33.990 --> 00:19:36.450 I can't believe that. You know, he thinks as 00:19:36.450 --> 00:19:39.769 a supervisor, he couldn't code worth a, you know, 00:19:39.769 --> 00:19:41.630 and then he said that about me. That's unbelievable. 00:19:41.750 --> 00:19:45.839 And, you know, what's she thinking? I mean. Her 00:19:45.839 --> 00:19:48.039 in -laws, every time they come, she's depressed 00:19:48.039 --> 00:19:50.339 for three weeks afterwards. It's not a good idea. 00:19:50.599 --> 00:19:53.519 You know, gosh, yeah, right, okay, I bring up 00:19:53.519 --> 00:19:55.480 one more time, we don't have sex as often as 00:19:55.480 --> 00:19:57.599 I would like, and, you know, she blows up, and 00:19:57.599 --> 00:20:01.680 have I hit enough people yet? Is this real stuff? 00:20:02.140 --> 00:20:08.109 This is real stuff. It's how life works. And 00:20:08.109 --> 00:20:11.369 so what you do is you get fixated. And you might 00:20:11.369 --> 00:20:13.890 have 90 % of your relationship with this person 00:20:13.890 --> 00:20:17.069 is good. But man, once you get fixated on this, 00:20:17.369 --> 00:20:20.769 then you know what? They go from being a disagreement 00:20:20.769 --> 00:20:25.430 to a bad person. You demonize them. You know 00:20:25.430 --> 00:20:28.089 that supervisor? I remember 10 years ago, he 00:20:28.089 --> 00:20:29.849 made another mistake. I think this whole company 00:20:29.849 --> 00:20:31.470 is in trouble because of that guy. And he's my 00:20:31.470 --> 00:20:33.849 boss, right? She said that. You know, she grew 00:20:33.849 --> 00:20:36.450 up that way. I remember too. And all of a sudden, 00:20:36.910 --> 00:20:39.890 You take all the dots of your relational hurt 00:20:39.890 --> 00:20:43.130 and you rearrange them and they're the bad person 00:20:43.130 --> 00:20:48.390 and you're like me. It's 5 % our fault, 95 % 00:20:48.390 --> 00:20:51.630 their fault. And then you harden your heart. 00:20:53.269 --> 00:20:55.869 And so here's the command. It's a command, by 00:20:55.869 --> 00:20:58.690 the way. Rejoice in the Lord. And again, I'll 00:20:58.690 --> 00:21:00.910 say rejoice. You know what he's saying? Get vertical. 00:21:01.960 --> 00:21:04.859 Get off of them and the problem. He's saying 00:21:04.859 --> 00:21:06.539 this one, not only to the two ladies, but to 00:21:06.539 --> 00:21:08.480 the whole church. Because when there's a fight, 00:21:08.559 --> 00:21:13.880 what do we do? I'm on Euodia's side. I'm on Synecdoche's 00:21:13.880 --> 00:21:17.599 side. In a family, even the kids. Mom, dad, mom. 00:21:18.019 --> 00:21:20.779 Gosh, well, I guess, you know, right? In a small 00:21:20.779 --> 00:21:24.299 group at work. Because the one thing we don't 00:21:24.299 --> 00:21:26.200 do is we often don't obey scripture and we have 00:21:26.200 --> 00:21:28.759 a problem with the person. What we do is we find 00:21:28.759 --> 00:21:30.460 two or three people that usually agree with us. 00:21:31.069 --> 00:21:33.549 And just go to a coffee shop sometime and act 00:21:33.549 --> 00:21:36.029 like you have earphones on. And just listen to 00:21:36.029 --> 00:21:38.410 everybody. Just listen to everybody. It's really 00:21:38.410 --> 00:21:42.289 fun, to tell you the truth. And 80 % of the conversations, 00:21:42.589 --> 00:21:44.450 well, I don't know what he's thinking. You know, 00:21:44.569 --> 00:21:46.710 he plays golf three times a week, and he expects 00:21:46.710 --> 00:21:48.190 me to take care of the kid, and blah, blah, blah. 00:21:48.470 --> 00:21:50.049 Well, my roommate, you know what? You know, the 00:21:50.049 --> 00:21:51.650 refrigerator, this is my side, and this is her 00:21:51.650 --> 00:21:53.150 side, and I paid for everything, and this is 00:21:53.150 --> 00:21:55.210 what she did. And, you know, my supervisor, I 00:21:55.210 --> 00:21:58.170 think he's on drugs, you know. Right? People 00:21:58.170 --> 00:22:02.109 are talking about someone else. And what's it 00:22:02.109 --> 00:22:09.170 do? Gasoline on the fire. This is Living on the 00:22:09.170 --> 00:22:11.509 Edge with Chip Ingram, and you've been listening 00:22:11.509 --> 00:22:14.109 to part one of Chip's message in relational conflict 00:22:14.109 --> 00:22:17.569 from our series, I Choose Peace. Chip will be 00:22:17.569 --> 00:22:19.589 back shortly to share some helpful application 00:22:19.589 --> 00:22:22.349 for us to think about. What's weighing on your 00:22:22.349 --> 00:22:25.210 mind right now? Financial uncertainty? A tense 00:22:25.210 --> 00:22:27.990 relationship? Or is it just the grind of everyday 00:22:27.990 --> 00:22:30.900 life? Whatever it is that's robbing you of your 00:22:30.900 --> 00:22:34.019 peace, let me tell you there's an antidote. Through 00:22:34.019 --> 00:22:36.680 this practical study in Philippians chapter 4, 00:22:36.920 --> 00:22:39.259 Chip will teach us how to access the peace of 00:22:39.259 --> 00:22:42.460 God, which can restore, calm, and encourage your 00:22:42.460 --> 00:22:44.700 soul, no matter what may be happening around 00:22:44.700 --> 00:22:46.839 you. You're not going to want to miss a single 00:22:46.839 --> 00:22:49.710 program of this series. Well, Chip's joined me 00:22:49.710 --> 00:22:51.710 in studio now. And Chip, today you began the 00:22:51.710 --> 00:22:54.190 final leg of your study through the book of Philippians, 00:22:54.250 --> 00:22:57.069 focusing in on chapter four. So take a minute, 00:22:57.130 --> 00:22:58.910 if you would, and share why this teaching is 00:22:58.910 --> 00:23:02.349 so relevant and really needed right now. Well, 00:23:02.430 --> 00:23:05.630 Dave, it almost goes without saying, you think 00:23:05.630 --> 00:23:08.549 of what's happening culturally in America, and 00:23:08.549 --> 00:23:11.109 whether that's racial issues or political issues. 00:23:11.369 --> 00:23:14.170 Right. If you just think of the financial pressure 00:23:14.170 --> 00:23:17.329 that people are living in and all the changes 00:23:17.329 --> 00:23:20.410 that have occurred, if there is one thing I think 00:23:20.410 --> 00:23:24.250 people are desperate for is peace. Peace in their 00:23:24.250 --> 00:23:27.250 heart, peace in their marriage, peace at work, 00:23:27.390 --> 00:23:31.529 peace in the government. And we try lots of things 00:23:31.529 --> 00:23:34.130 when we don't have peace to either medicate it 00:23:34.130 --> 00:23:37.609 or avoid it or do something to bring us some 00:23:37.609 --> 00:23:40.589 level of calm. And this series is going to talk 00:23:40.589 --> 00:23:44.470 about four or five specific things that challenge 00:23:44.470 --> 00:23:47.750 our peace. Things like relationships, difficult 00:23:47.750 --> 00:23:51.910 circumstances, worry, etc. I am so excited that 00:23:51.910 --> 00:23:55.609 we can open God's Word and know this is how you 00:23:55.609 --> 00:24:00.410 choose peace. Jesus said, my peace I give to 00:24:00.410 --> 00:24:03.470 you. It's a gift. It's something that we can 00:24:03.470 --> 00:24:06.630 choose. It's something that we can access regardless 00:24:06.630 --> 00:24:09.630 of the circumstance, the relationship, or the 00:24:09.630 --> 00:24:12.309 problems in your life. I think this is a series 00:24:12.309 --> 00:24:14.200 that's really going to help you. That's right, 00:24:14.220 --> 00:24:16.259 Chip. And to help all of you get the most out 00:24:16.259 --> 00:24:18.460 of this teaching, download Chip's message notes. 00:24:18.640 --> 00:24:21.640 They include his outline, the scripture he references, 00:24:21.799 --> 00:24:24.119 and key fill -ins to help you remember what you 00:24:24.119 --> 00:24:27.079 hear. Get them by going to the broadcasts tab 00:24:27.079 --> 00:24:30.539 at livingontheedge .org, app listeners tab, fill 00:24:30.539 --> 00:24:33.339 in notes. We'll hear again as Chip to share a 00:24:33.339 --> 00:24:36.680 few final thoughts. As we close today's program, 00:24:37.039 --> 00:24:40.720 I can't help but believe that many of you have 00:24:40.720 --> 00:24:43.119 had a person come to your mind. You know, I've 00:24:43.119 --> 00:24:45.319 talked about relational conflict. And, you know, 00:24:45.319 --> 00:24:47.059 for some of you, it's your marriage. For some, 00:24:47.099 --> 00:24:49.279 it's a roommate. For others, it's one of your 00:24:49.279 --> 00:24:51.779 kids or especially maybe one of your grown kids. 00:24:52.220 --> 00:24:54.740 For other people, it's like, gosh, that person 00:24:54.740 --> 00:24:57.759 at work or, you know, if you've been next to 00:24:57.759 --> 00:24:59.740 this neighbor or your person in the apartment 00:24:59.740 --> 00:25:03.460 complex, there's so many opportunities that even 00:25:03.460 --> 00:25:06.460 as I brought up all these issues about relational 00:25:06.460 --> 00:25:09.839 conflict that can pop into your mind. And then 00:25:09.839 --> 00:25:12.259 there's one that I think really gets us as Christians. 00:25:12.599 --> 00:25:15.180 It's that person in your Bible study or the person 00:25:15.180 --> 00:25:17.420 you see at church or even one of those Sunday 00:25:17.420 --> 00:25:20.799 school classes, and you feel so bad and so guilty 00:25:20.799 --> 00:25:23.200 about it, and it just makes you so frustrated 00:25:23.200 --> 00:25:25.890 because... Christians are supposed to get along. 00:25:26.230 --> 00:25:29.250 I mean, you have this unconscious belief or expectation 00:25:29.250 --> 00:25:32.490 that they're a Christian. Why don't they act 00:25:32.490 --> 00:25:35.150 like one? And then you feel guilty about some 00:25:35.150 --> 00:25:37.890 of the thoughts and feelings and attitudes and 00:25:37.890 --> 00:25:41.309 bitterness and resentment. And I think this passage 00:25:41.309 --> 00:25:44.839 is really helpful. Because what if? Now, don't 00:25:44.839 --> 00:25:47.059 get me wrong. There's Christians that do really 00:25:47.059 --> 00:25:50.079 mean bad, terrible things. I'm with you. I am 00:25:50.079 --> 00:25:52.259 one of those Christians that I actually have 00:25:52.259 --> 00:25:55.059 done some of those things on bad days when Chip 00:25:55.059 --> 00:25:57.819 is in control instead of the Holy Spirit. But 00:25:57.819 --> 00:26:01.680 all conflict isn't because someone's bad. I love 00:26:01.680 --> 00:26:04.180 this passage where the Apostle Paul introduces 00:26:04.180 --> 00:26:07.720 these two women. He describes them both really 00:26:07.720 --> 00:26:11.019 as women who love God, serving the church, really 00:26:11.019 --> 00:26:14.480 care. And yet they have bad chemistry. They have 00:26:14.480 --> 00:26:17.640 bad personalities. They look at things differently. 00:26:18.019 --> 00:26:21.039 I'm mindful of that passage where the Apostle 00:26:21.039 --> 00:26:24.259 Paul and Barnabas have such a sharp conflict 00:26:24.259 --> 00:26:27.019 that they have to part ways. And as you read 00:26:27.019 --> 00:26:29.119 it carefully, I don't think there's a bad or 00:26:29.119 --> 00:26:32.079 wrong person. Paul's thinking of his responsibility, 00:26:32.440 --> 00:26:35.079 the big picture, the mission. Barnabas is gifted 00:26:35.079 --> 00:26:36.960 differently. He's thinking about the concerns 00:26:36.960 --> 00:26:39.519 for an individual. John Mark, someone needs to 00:26:39.519 --> 00:26:42.589 help him. Both those things are true. Here's 00:26:42.589 --> 00:26:46.470 what I want to tell you. What if instead of blaming 00:26:46.470 --> 00:26:49.750 this person, having resentment, you had some 00:26:49.750 --> 00:26:54.069 specific ways, a very specific game plan to bring 00:26:54.069 --> 00:26:56.950 about resolution to this conflict? Part of it 00:26:56.950 --> 00:26:59.109 might be something that happens in you. Part 00:26:59.109 --> 00:27:01.089 of it might be something that you could think 00:27:01.089 --> 00:27:04.170 a bit differently. And part of it could be what 00:27:04.170 --> 00:27:07.190 you actually do with this other person. In our 00:27:07.190 --> 00:27:10.309 next broadcast, I'm going to give you five specific 00:27:10.309 --> 00:27:14.109 ways to resolve conflict. They're biblical, they're 00:27:14.109 --> 00:27:17.150 effective, and they actually work. Until then, 00:27:17.329 --> 00:27:20.009 I want you to just pray for that person. I want 00:27:20.009 --> 00:27:21.990 you to pray that God will bless him, God will 00:27:21.990 --> 00:27:24.470 encourage him, and I want you to pray, God, if 00:27:24.470 --> 00:27:27.349 there's anything that you want to show me, show 00:27:27.349 --> 00:27:31.549 me. And as you own your stuff, I guarantee God's 00:27:31.549 --> 00:27:33.880 going to work. That's a great challenge, Chip. 00:27:33.960 --> 00:27:58.829 Thanks. Or call us at 888 -333 -6003. Again, 00:27:58.869 --> 00:28:03.730 that's 888 -333 -6003. Or visit livingontheedge 00:28:03.730 --> 00:28:07.890 .org. App listeners, tap Donate. And let me thank 00:28:07.890 --> 00:28:09.990 you in advance for doing whatever the Lord leads 00:28:09.990 --> 00:28:12.890 you to do. Well, join us next time as Chip continues 00:28:12.890 --> 00:28:16.049 his series, I Choose Peace. Until then, I'm Dave 00:28:16.049 --> 00:28:18.109 Drewy, thanking you for listening to this edition 00:28:18.109 --> 00:28:19.710 of Living on the Edge.