Grab your smokes, news and weather, music and
jokes. See on the porch in my favorite house
coat, it's the Sarah Beth Terry Show. She's a
feral Christian out in the wild. The cigarette
mom with a queen bee style. Talking or singing
about somebody you know. It's the Sarah Beth
Terry, the Sarah Beth Terry. It's the Sarah Beth
Terry Show. I'm Sarah Beth Terry and you're not.
True story. Good evening. I just got out of the
shower. I tried to go to the tanning bed twice
today to no avail. We're going to talk about
it. So after nine bags of pellets, two bags of
lime, three new chickens, four new chickens,
sorry, and working in this blasted humidity all
day, I finally said, I'm going to take a shower.
So my hair is wet. And not doing what I wanted
to do. So. It is Monday night, August the 17th,
2026. Pull up a chair. Here's the stuff that
people will actually be talking about tomorrow.
You heard it here first. The biggest story in
America, Hawaii still recovering after Hurricane
Lala. More than 180 ,000 utility customers remain
without power after Hurricane Lala swept past
Hawaii before weakening into a tropical storm
this week. Utility crews continue restoration
efforts as residents deal with the aftermath.
They had a volcano and a hurricane. It's just
bad time on the big island. In world news, Jared
Kushner reportedly met with Israeli Prime Minister
Benjamin Netanyahu as part of the renewed efforts
to negotiate a Gaza peace framework. The proposed
roadmap includes Hamas disarmament. In exchange
for phased Israeli withdrawal, those significant
obstacles remain. 60 days after a major Iran
agreement was signed, negotiations appear stalled
and broader regional tensions continue because
Iran deal has hit rough water. No pun intended.
In politics and government this evening, the
FBI headquarters fight continues. If you've not
been keeping up with this, a judge ruled that
the Trump administration cannot scrap plans to
move FBI headquarters to Maryland. keeping a
long -running political battle alive so there
you go defense secretary pete hicks had traveled
to iowa fueling speculation that he might be
considering a future presidential run i don't
think that he is he's too big of buddies with
uh with jd anyway There's a House ethics investigation
going on right now. Representative Jimmy Gomez
is reportedly under investigation by the House
Ethics Committee over allegations of sexual misconduct.
All right, and money markets and the things that
affect your wallet. AI stocks continue driving
markets with Wall Street entering a busy week
with AI -related companies helping lift technology
stocks while investors wait on Federal Reserve
minutes and major retail earning reports. There's
that. Harvard goes all in on the SpaceX. Have
you seen this? Harvard management company disclosed
a $2 .2 billion stake in SpaceX, reportedly making
it the university endowment's largest holding.
Are we sending Harvard people to space? What
are we doing? You're going to start getting a
degree in two days or less? I don't know what's
happening here. Gold climbed about $4 ,400 an
ounce today. $4 ,400 an ounce. So if you're still
hanging on to that wedding ring, take it to the
pawn shop. It's worth more in the gold than it
is diamonds. Bitcoin traded around $63 ,000 today.
So if you believe in the made -up currency that
you can farm off of old computers, there's a
payday today. So there you go. My advice, buy
silver and gold. Cricket, the coffee. Bad luck
for you. Not today, Satan. Sorry, it's a cricket.
In entertainment news, as we discussed this morning,
Hayden Panettiere has passed away at the age
of 36. The actor is best known for Heroes Nashville,
and the Scream franchise has died at the age
of 36. The cause of death has not been publicly
disclosed yet, but the rumors on our side of
the mill is that she had a heart attack from
an overdose. But we don't know that for sure.
She did give a very revealing interview just
a few weeks ago, so this kind of feels like a
Paul Walker, Princess Di, Michael Jackson situation.
But again, the conspiracy theories will fly.
God rest her, she was too young. Spider -Man
is absolutely printing money. Tom Holland's Spider
-Man Brand New Day has crossed the $2 billion
threshold worldwide and continues dominating
theaters. So if you've not seen it yet, you're
one of the few that haven't. So get out there
and see it. Emmy season has officially begun
with the final Emmy voting underway, and industry
insiders are already debating who will take home
television's biggest awards next month. So if
you're a big TV person, then, you know, that's
coming up. What everybody else will be streaming
coming this week is Toy Story 5, Outer Banks
Season 5, which is the last season they've announced,
DC's Lanterns, Love is Blind UK Season 3, and
the Boeing documentary Freefall. So those will
be streaming later this week if you are going
to be on the couch Netflixing and chilling. Science
is getting weird again, friends. Scientists turned
DNA into a computer memory. Researchers have
created a bio -hybrid memory device using synthetic
DNA and semiconductors that could dramatically
reduce power consumption in future computing
systems. La -ti -da. A new type of space object
has been discovered. Astronomers say that they've
identified what appears to be an entirely new
class of astrophysical objects nicknamed the
Black Hole Star. I thought that was Marilyn Manson,
but... I could be wrong. All right. New narcolepsy
drug shows promise. Researchers say a new medication
targets the root cause of narcolepsy rather than
simply treating the symptoms. Weed helps too.
But anyway, Kateri and Karen on. An important
study for us dog people. Scientists continue
finding evidence that dogs can recognize when
you're happy, sad, frustrated, or stressed. Some
of the strongest impacts in the animal kingdom,
meaning that your dog knows you're lying when
you say we're not going to the vet. They know.
They know. They know. In the climate and weather,
Lake Powell has hit another historic low. We
were talking about this morning. Water levels
at Lake Powell have dropped to a new low, intensifying
concerns about the long -term water supplies
throughout the American West, which they really
need right now considering all the wildfires.
Scientists are using sharks to predict hurricanes
now. Nope, that's not a Shark Week episode, friends.
Researchers are actually studying shark behavior
to improve hurricane forecasting models. Why
not? They're already out there in it. We might
as well just strap a GoPro to them. The Appalachian
observation of the day. If scientists can store
memories in DNA, discover black hole stars, and
teach computers to think, why does every weed
eater still require exactly 17 pools before it
starts? Inquiring minds want to know. In the
feral Christian corner for this evening, verse
of the day is, Cast thy burden upon the Lord,
and he shall sustain thee. From Psalm 55, verse
22. The world has given you plenty to worry about
tonight, friends. God has given you permission
to sit some of it down. Remember that. There's
a porch question tonight. If a reporter showed
up on your porch right now and asked you, What
is the biggest thing happening in your life?
What would the answer be? Because whatever popped
in your head first, that's probably what God's
working on. So, just checking in. Samantha, okay,
you're watching Design and Women, which season
are you on? And is Suzanne and Julia Stewart,
have they brought in that awful Julia Duffy to
play Allison? I hated those episodes. And it
got worse when they got that rich girl BJ to
do it. Not that she wasn't a great actress, but
she's not Delta Burke. Only one rich bitch on
the show when she left in third season, fourth
season. I just want to know which episode you're
on because I can quote them. Especially the Julia
gets her head stuck in a fence episode. It's
one of my favorites. If you've never seen that
episode, Julia sticks her head through the railing
at the governor's mansion as they're trying to
decorate it for the governor's ball, which Anthony
has been invited to as a rehabilitated prisoner.
But Suzanne's invitation. She did not get it.
So she thought that the mailman stole it, but
he didn't. She just didn't get invited. So she
went with him to help decorate the governor's
mansion, and that was made fun of Julia because
she never did anything funny. So she stuck her
head in the railing and got it stuck. And Mary
Jo looks at her and she said, Julia, are you
telling me that there's absolutely positively
no way that you can get your head out of there?
And Julia goes, Mary Jo, read my lips. I'm stuck.
And then they end up having to keep her in the
staircase, and then Suzanne changes her into
a formal ball gown and tries to put pantyhose
on her right there in the front hallway of the
governor's mansion. And then after she gets her
dressed, and, you know, Julia's just sprawled
out on the staircase, and Suzanne said, I don't
know, and she yanks Julia's foot up. She said,
I think these pantyhose are too dark for this
dress. And Julia said, oh, no, we got to do something.
Tonight, when Georgia's most elite are walking
down the stairs and the governor steps over my
body on this staircase, I don't want anybody
to say, do you see that girl, the girl with her
head stuck in the staircase? Yes, the one the
governor just stepped over. Don't you think her
pantyhose were a little too dark for that dress?
One of my favorite episodes of all time. Or when
Ms. Bitts came in there and she said, you have
exactly 15 minutes, 45 minutes, sorry, 45 minutes
to explain to the governor himself exactly why
not. Because they hadn't got her out of the fence
yet, you know. And Mary Jo's sitting there eating
a big bowl of fruit and she said, well, what's
so hard to understand? Hey, governor, got our
head stuck in a fence. Can't get it out. Ms.
Bitts won't give us a saw. It's one of my favorites.
Anyway. Season 2, Episode 5. Wait a minute. That's
when they're starting to get into it. They've
redone the main thing. Charlene's no longer sitting
in the big wicker chair, and we've moved Suzanne's
desk over to the couch. Right? Am I right? This
is after Season 1, where Suzanne dates Mary Jo's
ex -husband, Ted, even though she put him through
med school in Guadalajara, Mexico, and she had
to buy a live chicken, and she talks about three
different episodes. So, don't start with me on
designing women, friends. I know that almost
as well as I know the Bible. Anyway. Moving on
tonight in the Music and Entertainment Report
tonight. Ann Hathaway's new film is arriving.
I don't know if you know about this. HBO Max
is rolling out Mother Mary starring Ann Hathaway
as a troubled pop superstar. Early Buzz says
it's one of the stranger and potentially award
-worthy films of the year. Looking at that false
teeth. Yeah, honey, of course it is. My smile
is fake, but my tits are real. Keep that. Okay,
in the music world buzz, Sam Smith returns with
a new album this week, marking a major return
after several years away from the spotlight and
some kind of identity crisis where he started
wearing pleather on stage. But we won't talk
about that. We're just going to talk about his
music. Weezer drops another album. This is number
20. 20. That's right. Most bands don't survive
a drummer change, let alone put out 20 studio
albums. Say it ain't so. Anthony Hopkins has
a classical album out now. So excited. At age
88, Sir Anthony Hopkins has released a classical
music album featuring compositions that he's
been writing over the last six decades. Some
people retire in their older years. Anthony Hopkins
has started a new career. Do I remember the Diana
Ross and the Supreme episode? Are we kidding?
That was the Rowdy Girls episode, and that was
one where Suzanne's wearing black pants. Julia
says, I don't care where you go. You just stay
the hell away from us. Mary Jo was the best Diana
Ross ever. She did the mouth and everything.
No matter where you are. No matter how far. It's
the best. If you haven't watched it, it's on
Hulu. Get yourself some Designing Women. I am
reading the message. Contemporary English version.
That was compiled by Peterson. I like him. Really,
one of my favorite biblical scholars. But anyway,
that's the one that I read. It's on sale on Amazon
right now, and you can get a pink one for less
than $30 because that's what I did. So, in national
music industry news, AI lawsuits are finally
reaching MusicRoute. MusicRoute's company, Roundhill
Music, has filed copyright infringement lawsuits
against AI companies Suno and Anthropic, alleging
unauthorized use of copyrighted songs for AI
training. This is one of the biggest music business
stories of the year and could shape how AI and
songwriting coexist going forward. Let me give
you a little heads up. There's only 12 notes.
That's it. And at some point, they're going to
start to repeat. And something's going to sound
like something else. And Robin Thicke gets sued
by Al Green. So I'm just saying, it's a very
fine line. You want to keep from getting kicked
out of college? Quit plagiarizing your work.
Pick up a guitar. Learn a book. Write a song.
Don't have it create for you. Be someone who
uses AI as a tool, not a tool that uses AI. But
everybody's knee -jerking, including Big and
Rich, over this thing going, well, I don't know
what we're going to do. Well, this is the same
knee -jerk reaction y 'all had when Papaw went
from VHS to DVDs and we went from analog to digital
with Pro Tools. Either learn how to use it, ride
the dragon, or get burnt. I don't know what to
tell you, but it's 2026, and if my house can
wake me up at 7 o 'clock in the morning by singing
Happy Birthday to me, we are screwed in the music
business unless you figure it out. I've already
figured it out. I wrote 216 songs in the past
year. None of which... None of which were aided
by any kind of computer. All that college learning.
Thank God. Okay. Basically, it's just padding
the pockets of national lawyers because they're
making money even though the songwriters aren't.
So it's whatever. It's fine. Zach Topp continues
his rise. The neo -traditional country singer
continues building momentum with sold -out dates
and a growing buzz across the country music world.
Many industry insiders see him as one of the
strongest traditional country success stories
in years. Everybody's looking for the next authentic
voice, I have learned. The biggest trend in country
right now isn't bigger production, it's authenticity.
Fans continue gravitating towards artists who
sound like real people rather than marketing
plans. Or NASCAR jingles. So, you know, just
keep that in mind. Which is probably good news
for porch singers like me because I'm about as
real as it gets. Like I said, smile is fake,
tits are real. Here we are. Hollywood's odds
and ends this evening. Hulu swings the axe. Several
Hulu shows have been canceled by five major series
received renewals as streamers continue trimming
budgets and focusing on proven hits. Fantasy
fans lose their minds as Sarah J. Moss revealed
titles and cover art for the upcoming A Court
of Thorns and Roses book, sending the book talking
to a full cardiac arrest, in case you're on that
side of TikTok. In music trivia, this week's
wild fact. Bonnie Tyler's funeral was held in
Wales today, where fans gathered to celebrate
the voice behind Total Eclipse of the Heart.
Her career spanned more than five decades. Wow.
God rest Bonnie Tyler. It's the porch opinion
tonight that the biggest entertainment story
isn't a movie. It isn't a celebrity. It isn't
an award show. It's that people are starving
for something real. Been fed bullshit so long
that we're just wanting the real thing. Artists
breaking through right now are the ones who feel
human, sound human, act human. People want stories.
They want truth. They want somebody who sounds
like they've actually lived life. But the good
news for me is that's kind of my whole thing.
So I'm not worried about it. Let's take a porch
poll tonight. What's the bigger accomplishment?
Releasing your first album? Releasing your 20th
album like Weezer? Or surviving long enough in
the music business to have a 20th album? Don't
answer too fast. In Kentucky and West Virginia,
front porch news tonight. An 18 -year -old has
been arrested and charged after the deadly shooting
at Charles Young Park during Lexington's East
End Day celebration this weekend. One teenager
was killed and several others, including children,
were injured. It's still one of the biggest stories
in Kentucky as of this evening. The Kentucky
State Fair starts this week, opening Thursday
in Louisville, Kentucky, bringing concerts, livestock
competitions, fried food, giant vegetables, and
enough people watching material to last until
Christmas. My porch prediction is that somebody
will deep fry something that absolutely should
have not been deep fried. Just saying. Highway
deaths are climbing again. After several years
of improvement, Kentucky is seeing a rise in
traffic fatalities this year. State officials
say that deaths are up about 6 % compared to
last year and are urging drivers to slow down
and put your phones away. You would think that
would be common sense. You can wait until you
get there. Nobody needs to talk on the phone
that much. Thousands lost power after the storms
this weekend. Strong storms rolled through portions
of Kentucky, Ohio, and West Virginia, knocking
out power and bringing flooding concerns to several
areas. More rain is in the forecast for this
week. Look alive. Western Kentucky had a measles
outbreak. Safe health officials have confirmed
a measles outbreak in Western Kentucky, prompting
health official alerts and vaccination reminders.
That's one vaccination that does work. Get your
measles. So. In West Virginia, deadly flooding
is across southern West Virginia still to this
day. Heavy rain caused flash flooding across
several counties. A woman died after flood water
swept away her vehicle in Fayette County, while
emergency crews carried out numerous water rescues
in Kanaan and surrounding areas. It's been a
real discovery. Emergency crews spent much of
the weekend pulling stranded residents from vehicles
and flooded roads after torrential rainfall hit
parts of the state. If the roads look like a
river, it's no longer a road. Turn around, don't
drown. It's not that the water's flowing, it's
what the water's flowing. So, you know, just
maybe just turn around. Go to higher ground.
North Central West Virginia Airport opens a new
terminal. Super excited. A brand new $70 million
terminal officially opens this week at the North
Central West Virginia Airport. Officials say
it's roughly four times larger than its previous
facility. So, congratulations. Mountaineer fans
are feeling nostalgic this week as West Virginia
football once again missed the preseason AP Top
25, leading fans to reminisce about the Dana,
Holderson, and Will Greer era when rankings were
a regular occurrence. So, everybody's kind of
missing the good old days. School is back in
session. Across West Virginia, students, teachers,
bus drivers, and exhausted parents are returning
to classrooms for the 26 -27 school year. So
remember, if you're trying to get anywhere between
6 .30 and 8 o 'clock in the morning or anywhere
between 2 .30 and 4 o 'clock in the afternoon,
you might as well just slow down and wait and
get you a book. Especially if you're on 34 coming
through Toast Valley because it will be gridlocked.
Things that people around here are talking about.
In Kentucky, we're talking about the state fair
and all the food. I really want to go eat a funnel
cake and just lick the plate. I don't even care.
Lexington shooting arrests. Thank goodness that
that's finally under wraps. Mitch McConnell's
continued absence from public life or just life
in general. I think that he might have crossed
on to his great reward by now, but no one's answering
any questions. Storm damage and football season
approaching seems to be on everybody's mind as
we go into the third week of August. Okay, in
West Virginia, there's flooding, high school
football, Mountaineer football, back to school
season, and we wish it would stop raining. That's
what we know. It's funny that the two headlines
from the states that I call home, West Virginia's
headline was, you know, floodwaters sweep through
half the state. Kentucky's was, the state fair
opens up with fried everything this Thursday.
Priorities. That sums up August in Appalachia
pretty well, actually, if I think about it. One
state is sandbagging and the other one's eating
a funnel cake. Sometimes on the same day. Just
the way it is. On this day in history, friends,
in 1807, Robert Fulton's steamboat Claremont
began its historic voyage from New York to Albany,
helping launch the age of commercial steam travel.
So that's that. In 1859, the first official U
.S. airmail was carried by a balloon. Imagine
trusting the Postal Service to a giant floating
sack of hot air, and I'm not talking about Mitch
McConnell. I'm talking about, you know, wouldn't
it be crazy to just be like, airmail. Thank you.
I can't come down. I don't know how it works.
Sorry. In 1939, speaking of which, The Wizard
of Oz premiered in New York City on this date,
dazzling audiences with Technicolor. My goodness,
87 years ago, Judy Garland was skipping down
the real brick road in a pair of shoes that are
worth more than my house. Crazy. In 2008, Michael
Phelps became the first athlete ever to win eight
gold medals in a single Olympic game. Pretty
cool. You had to give them back. But, you know,
it was pretty cool. Born on this day was Davy
Crockett, king of the wild frontier. Frontiersman
and Alamo legend, Davy Crockett. Mae West was
born in 1893, an actress, comedian, and queen
of the one -liner, if you ask me. I love Mae
West. Robert De Niro was born on this date in
1943. Belinda Carlyle was born in 1958. Ooh,
heaven is a place on earth. Donnie Wahlberg was
born in 1969. The new kids on the block in Blue
Blood All -Star. And Austin Butler, Elvis himself,
is celebrating birthday number 35 today. So,
happy birthday to y 'all. In the Farmer's Almanac
corner, talk, don't cook rice. Translation. You
can complain about it. You can talk about it.
You can discuss it. You can form a committee.
But eventually, somebody has to get up and do
the thing. Top don't cook rice. Do you want to
keep raccoons out of your garbage? Run a tight
bungee cord over the lid. Apparently generations
of country folks have been fighting tiny trash
bandits with a little bit of elastic. So, just
so you know. Weather lore this week. Today marks
the beginning of the old -fashioned cat nights.
According to Irish folklore, August 17th is when
witches supposedly lost the ability to transform
back from cats. So that's one explanation for
why people started saying cats have nine lives.
Just so you know. A little weather lore for you
this evening. Ten things that you probably didn't
know, and I'm going to tell you. Cows have best
friends, and they get stressed when they're separated.
If you've ever seen two heifers duking it out
on Facebook because one of them's in jail for
the weekend, you know exactly what I'm talking
about. A shrimp's heart is in its head. Makes
that battle a little easier, I bet. A cloud can
weigh over a million pounds. Don't ask me how
I know. I didn't measure it, but... That's what
they tell me. The average person spends about
six months of their life waiting for red lights.
Good to know. Good time to pray. Octopuses have
three hearts. Did you know that? And they bleed
blue. A group of crows is called a murder, but
a group of flamingos is called a flamboyance.
Some things are what they are. It sounds less
like bird watching and more like watching Dateline.
What if you could get a group of flamingos and
a group of crows? Is that a flamboyant murder?
Wombats produce cube -shaped poop. Nobody knows
why God felt that while that was necessary, but
they do. They literally can shit a brick. There's
that. Your stomach gets a completely new lining
every couple of days. Otherwise, it would digest
itself. So there's something to think about.
Honey never spoils. Archaeologists have found
jars of honey thousands of years old that were
still edible. And if it's crystallized, just
throw a little bit of hot water in the jar and
it should soften right back up. What animal can
see behind itself without turning its head? A
horse, a rabbit, a goat, or a cow? Do you know?
What animal can see behind itself without turning
its head? Your answer is a rabbit. They have
nearly 360 degree vision. It's pretty cool. Excuse
me. Well, I'm trying to see if there's any more
things that you don't know. Appalachian facts,
you know, the Appalachian Mountains are older
than the Rockies, if you didn't know that. In
fact, they're some of the oldest mountains on
Earth. These old hills were already ancient,
long before the first coal miner, before the
moonshiner, before the preacher, before the porch
sitter. They're old. Built on bones and drenched
in blood. Appalachians are old, old, old. Life
is old. They're older than the trees. Trust me.
If you could sit on the porch for one hour with
anybody in the world, Jesus excluded because
I think that's cheating. He's on the porch all
the time. Who would it be? Would you sit with
Davy Crockett, Johnny Cash, Dolly Parton, or
even McIntyre? Why not a joke? Prince. Rod Stewart.
Mae West. Abraham Lincoln. Or your great -great
-great -great -grandmother with a cast iron skillet
and all the family secrets. Like, who would you
spend an hour with? That's what I've been thinking
about. I want to say a big thank you to everybody
that's come over to the Feral Christian Podcast
page. We just hit 100 ,000 followers. That's
100 ,000 people getting to hear the Word of God
every week, and I am very thankful and grateful
to God for it. I do wish that they would focus
more on what I'm saying and less on what I'm
wearing. I get a lot of hate, not on what I'm
saying and not what I'm preaching, but what I'm
wearing, why my hair looks like it does, why
I'm wearing nail polish, why I've got on jewelry.
What would God think about you having a platform?
What would God think about Paul preaching and
writing letters? What would God think about Moses
leading through the wilderness? What would God
think about Jeremiah giving a prophecy? What
would God think about Mary taking the body? I
don't see the point. To me, it's not about me.
It's never been about me. It's about God. And
if you... listening to me on my porch smoking
a cigarette and talking about the news of the
day brings you closer to God, makes you get in
your Bible and dig around a little bit, or maybe
makes you talk to him for the first time in 15,
20 years, then my job is accomplished. If you
happen to listen to a couple of my songs on the
way out the door, then great. If you don't, it's
not a big deal. It's not about me. So. But I
do want to thank all the Judgmental Church of
Christ people who want to comment on my thing
and say, I don't like the way you look. I don't
like the way you dress. What's up with that boob?
I don't know. I got two of them. Too old to show
them. Just hike them up and hope they don't hit
my knees when I sit down. But the people that
always have the most to say are the people with
the least amount of friends and an AI -generated
profile picture which makes me think that they're
either a bot or 80 years old and don't know how
to use their phone. Either way, keep your opinions
to yourself. You can't say something nice. If
you like me, share me with your friends. If you
don't, keep it to yourself. I got things to do.
I don't have time to defend myself all the time
against every single person online who don't
like the way I look. It ain't about what I look
like. If it was, John the Baptist would have
been in for a what not to wear episode. John,
what are we doing? What are we doing with this
camel hair and this leather belt? It's so drab.
You wear it every single day. Let's put some
color in it. I'm not going to talk about what
a hypocrite that you are, but that's all right.
You probably don't know. Why spoil it for you?
How do you start a relationship with God? Just
like this, Ray. Say, God, I'm right here. My
name's Ray. I'd like to get to know you. Read
his book. It's a bestseller. Talk to him. He's
right here. Right here. And if at any moment
that you want to sit and talk to somebody about
it, talk to me about it, talk to somebody on
the porch about it, talk to a clergyman about
it, it really is as simple as making the proclamation
of faith and getting baptized. I believe that
Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God,
and I've accepted him as my Lord and Savior.
Then you find the nearest body of water and somebody
that's ordained, go down to the water, come back
new in the creation of God, and go and send them
over. We're doing our best every single day,
and we all fall short, sisters. Don't think that
you're the only one in this boat. But the good
news is that the guy that's running the boat
can also walk on water. So, we're good. Don't
worry about it. But if you want to start a relationship
with God, it's literally that simple. What would
God think about their criticism? Probably judge
not lest you be judged. Maybe pay attention to
the plank in your own eye before you start picking
out the sawdust in mine. That's all I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying when I'm on my porch.
I'll look better out in public this week. I'll
have my hair done and my lashes done. Don't worry
about it. But right now, I'm home. And God knows
what I look like. God knows what I sound like.
God knows what I'm doing when I'm not on camera.
We talk all the time. All the time. Matter of
fact, I was in the tractor supply tonight. Everything
went wrong. Everything went wrong for me to get
all my stuff done tonight before it got dark.
Everything. People standing crossways in the
Goodwill, I couldn't get through. I did get a
fur coat for 17 bucks. I'm not going to talk
about it. I'm working on jackets to put out for
the Ruffled Feathers collection this week. I've
got two new fringers that I finished today, and
I've got three more to make tomorrow. And then
I went to the GNC, which closed early because
of the power outage, and I went to the Planet
Fitness to get in the tanning bed, but there
was a 35 -minute wait, and the marshals wanted
me to sign them stupid tanning forms again, so
I just turned around and got back in my Jeep
and left. And then I went to Tractor Supply,
and I went round and round and round with every
single red coat that was in there like it was
the British War. And finally I got in the five
-bag appellate, my two rose bushes, and my metal,
what is that stuff, strapping, stripping, whatever
it is that Sean needs. And then I met a man named
Warren. walked me out to my car, helped me load
up from Texas, now works at Tractor Supply. I
live in West Virginia. And he talked to me like
we've been old friends since Moses was a boy.
And before we ended up leaving the parking lot,
he asked me if I'd pray with him. And I prayed
over him right there in the parking lot for some
stuff that he was worried about. I think that
was the whole reason that God kept forwarding
my plans is because I was supposed to be in the
Tractor Supply parking lot to talk to that man
tonight. And when I feel like I haven't got anything
accomplished, I have to keep in my mind. I got
two jackets done today. I wrote a song today
with Dave Fowler. Let's see what else did I get
done. Nine bags of pellets in the feed, two bags
of lime, a thing of horse stall refresher, which
works really well in chicken coops, three new
baby silkies, one new baby aracana, a mother
hen who's finally brooding off of the nesting
box. We've got one little baby with Ruth. We've
got four little babies with the other Ruth, and
we've got four babies that are finally teenagers
and out on their own now, including a phoenix
silky mix, which I'm super excited because she's
super fuzzy but has a really long tail. I also
got coneflowers, black -eyed Susans, two rose
bushes, and a gardenia that I've got to put in
the ground this week. But I also feel like I
didn't get anything accomplished. I know I did.
I want instant validation. I'd be like, done,
but instead I just got like 20 % closer to like
10 more goals. Thursday night is the live Pharaoh
Christian Bible study at Seven Loaves Cafe in
Greenham, Kentucky. If you haven't got your tickets
for that, they're on the website. And they're
going to go fast because we only have a few left.
Then the 22nd, which is this Saturday, we're
in Sapphire, North Carolina at The Fix. And I
have big news. My friend Erica Nicole is going
to open up for me at 6 o 'clock. Super excited
to have her back on the stage with me. And we'll
be kicking off the show at 6 o 'clock there in
Sapphire. So if you haven't got your tickets
for that, you can get them on my website, SarahBethTerry
.com. Also coming up in the next couple months,
we're going to Perry, Florida for two events.
We're going to be in Hurricane, West Virginia.
We're going to be in Huntington, West Virginia.
We're going to be in Camden, Tennessee, and Camden,
Kentucky. Anywhere else that the good Lord sends
us, or you call and book us between now and then,
because we only have six states left between
now and the end of the year, including New Year's
and Labor Day. So if you want anything for a
bar mitzvah, baptism, burial, or a barbecue,
holler. Holler at your girl. I need money for
feed and weed. No, my neighbor did not give me
money for rose bushes, even though he killed
them. But the good news is that Tractor Supply
has a 90 % off sale on everything but shrubs
and hedges this week, so I'm going to get all
of my rose bushes for $2 .25 apiece. I know.
I know. I'm going to go clean them out. I'm going
to take $50 and just buy every one of them that
I can. I'm going to have a whole hedge of roses
at my new place up in Kentucky. Hide and watch.
Well, honestly, I keep telling myself that every
single month when I go and buy more fade, more
pellets, and more shit. And I'm like, I don't
even sell the eggs. And, you know, they get on
my nerves. But I realize every single morning
that it gives me a reason to get up before the
sun, to talk to God, to read my Bible, to be
at one with nature, to hold my little baby chickens.
And they do give me joy even if I don't sell
the eggs because the West Virginia FDA is through
the roof on their taxes. I have to look at it
as I'm carrying on a family tradition. My Aunt
Shirley raised chickens, my Great Granny raised
chickens, my Great Great Granny raised chickens,
and I feel like that's part of my, like, lineage
at this point. We're not crazy cat ladders, we're
batshit chicken ladies. If you think that they'll
flog you, wait till later. Hi! Lisa, Lisa, I
got my light today. That was awesome. Sean's
in there tinkering with it right now. He's going
to put it on the porch tonight, but he's tinkering
with it. He's trying to figure out how we can
use it in the closet and on the stage and in
the car and on the porch. I think he's just going
to attach it to my head by one of those big lights.
You know? I just feel like if I could get one
thing like completely done, I would be happy
with myself. But I always feel like I'm just
piddling around with a bunch of little projects.
Like I get a little bit done here and I get a
little bit done there and a little bit done there.
And I've got until Thursday to get my stuff done.
Because Thursday night is the Fair Christian
Life Bible Study and then Friday morning we leave
out for North Carolina. So, working on it. Denomination
is irrelevant, Kim. It's just something that
you want to walk a different path, answer to
a different boss, clock in to a different clock.
But the cool thing about salvation is that it's
there for everybody. You just have to accept
it. In West Virginia, I'm between Huntington
and Charleston. That's where I'm playing. I'm
playing in Huntington and in Hurricane within
the next couple months. If you want me up towards
the other side, towards Pennsylvania, then book
me. We're in North Carolina, Sapphire, North
Carolina, just outside of Cashers. So we'll be
there on Saturday. I will do a lot with my chickens
this week. Am I moving back to Kentucky eventually?
I have a place in Kentucky. I have a place in
West Virginia. I'm looking at a place in Nashville.
The world is my home. It's like Maya Angelou
said, once you figure out that you don't belong
anywhere, you belong everywhere. So wherever
Sean is, that's home. Wherever me and Sean and
God are, that's home. I don't care what state
it's in. I don't care what country it's in. I
don't care if we're in a boat, in a train, in
a plane, in a caboose. I don't care. Wherever
me and him are in the same place, we're home.
I have so many projects. I think I'm going to
start interviewing. I need best friends. I just
need accountability buddies. I don't really need
to do anything. I don't want to rob a bank. I
just want you to run to Walgreens with me. Keep
me on task. April, yes, I'll get on there and
do that. Maybe Sean's watching. He can add it
on there. It's just the Feral Christian Podcast.
And it's linked right on the page, so just think.
Y 'all talking off loud? Oh, they're riding their
bicycles. So I don't claim to have it all together.
I don't claim to know everything. I do have enough
resources and connections and faith in my abilities
that I can find the answer if we don't got it.
I was on the phone this morning with my friend
Leah over in Bali, and I was like, Listen, are
y 'all okay? Because I had that big old earthquake
over in Indonesia this week. And I called her
and I was like, are you okay? She answered the
phone and she was sitting in the living room.
And I was like, oh, thank God. She goes, what?
I said, I kind of have expected you and Sean
and them babies to be outside roasting a hot
dog over a gas fire on a stick or something.
She goes, it was the next I went over, okay.
I was like, I was worried. I don't know my geography
enough in Indonesia to know if you're safe in
Bali or not, but I'm glad that she was. Moved
to Snore, Kentucky. Tracy, I done lived in Munterville
and that was near close enough for me. I wish
you'd eat your mouse. She caught, or Mittens
caught, it's time for the Mittens update. Hi.
Mittens killed a great big huge rat. And hasn't
ate it yet. And it's just over here staring at
me. Yes, Stephanie, let me know. I know how to
get to Pennsylvania. I've been there before.
Like it. I've been to Our Lady of Cheshitacova,
Pittsburgh. Philadelphia, and Enterprise. I'd
like to come back. Not necessarily to those places,
but I know how to get to Pennsylvania. Bonnie,
welcome to the porch. Glad to have you. Trace,
you tell that son of yours that if you don't
call me soon, I'm going to take him right out
of my phone book because we ain't wrote together
in forever. I like to give this the hard time.
Stephanie, I hadn't checked it yet, but I will.
My husband checks my email because I don't understand
that I ain't deleting stuff that I don't maintain,
so he just forwards the stuff to me that I need
to see. Come to Winston -Salem, North Carolina.
We'll find me a gig, Margaret, and I'll be right
there. Margaret. I love that name. That was the
name of my baby doll when I was growing up, Margaret.
So, come to Arkansas. Love to. Stephanie, get
me a gig. And then a place to play, stay, and
smoke. And we'll be on the way. So today is Monday.
August 17th. So, which means tomorrow is the
18th. Which means I will get up super early and
try again. I would have friends over, but I don't
have any friends hardly that live around here.
Like all my friends are far, far away. And every
time I try to make friends around here, they
get real weird for a couple of days. And then,
you know. I like people to be my friends because
they like to be my friend, not because of who
I know or what I've done or what my resume says
or, you know, that you might be on TV one day.
Like, I just go to a junk store with me. So that's
my thing. That's what I think. That's what I
say. Oh, Lord. But in the meantime, friends,
I'm really glad to see you. I'm glad that you're
on the porch this evening. I'm glad that we're
all hanging out and visiting. Three more days,
Christy, you're going to be there. I'm so excited.
We get to meet in real life. And I always feel
like a TSA agent when people come up to me at
shows. I'm like, I watch you on Facebook. I'm
like, yes, that's you. Because you're this big.
So, I can just about bet you that that rat didn't
eat poison. She caught it, or he caught it in
the chicken coop. There's just a corn -fed rat.
Samantha, I'm the same way. I don't really ascribe
to religion. Religion is man -made, and they're
stuck more in rigid tradition than they are in
Scripture reading. So, you know, I'm not a Pauline
Christian. I'm not a wayward Christian. I'm a
feral Christian. I talk to God. He talks back.
I read his book, and I'll continue to read it
until he puts out another one. I know you love
to jump, Tracy. We'll have to go together. We'll
have to go to the one in E -Town. That's a really
good one. And we'll have to go to Glendale. I
haven't been to Glendale in forever, and that's
like the greatest antique in the world. Today
was National Thrift Shop Day. So. Rita, get us
to Arkansas. Listen, Rita, thank you so much
for sending me well wishes, and I just can't
wait to meet y 'all in real life. Mindy, you
are my friend. Got tomorrow's smoky roll over
on my porch. Well, you know, Leona, so you're
playing ahead. So, hey, hey, hey from southwest
Missouri. What's going on? I had a bug up my
dress right there. I could feel it. Sorry, I
was like, is that some call on my leg? Is that
a damn cricket? Lori just found me gigs. We'll
come. I've been to Arizona. I like it. A little
hot, but I like it. So, I don't know, friends.
That's really all I know. I just try to keep
you abreast. abreast of the situation in the
news and you know i might be the only person
that's telling you what's actually going on in
the world because i know that cnn and fox and
abc and nbc and cbs is like no we're not going
to play the president's address today we're going
to do something different whatever well hello
stephanie thank you for saying that hello heather
thank you just doing the best that i can with
what i got I think that's what we're all doing.
Hello from Montana. Hello. What's going on? Your
thrifting only included big ladders at Walgreens
for 79 cents a piece? That's cheap. Good job.
So if you see somebody, oh, I love the Whistle
Stop Cafe. The pie has meringue on it this tall.
It's fantastic. If you see somebody from your
neck of the woods, then y 'all team up and find
me a gig. Your dad was kicked off SBC for preaching
the same study you did on women's role in the
church. Well, there's a reason why I'm not with
the Southern Baptist, uh, Baptist kid anymore.
They said I was a spiritual liability years ago
because I played the Demi Brothers for ovatory
instead of the Gaithers one Sunday and they lost
their ever loving mind. And I thought, Oh, this
ain't even the worst that's going on in this
church behind the pulpit, but that's okay. I
don't subscribe to a deity that takes attendance
and makes you be baptized into a congregation.
I think that that's blasphemy. Don't be a part
-time Christian and expect a full -time God.
Everybody wants to get all high and mighty and
talk about whose version is right and whose translation
is right and whose doctrine is right and whose
religion is right. None of it. Jesus. That's
it. That's the only answer. Jesus. Jesus. Dude,
hanging on this piece of paper. Jesus. Talk to
him. He's not far away. Hello from Hurricane
West, Virginia. Well, what do you say, Richard
Atkins? I know where that is. See Amanda, another
one from Montana. Get me a gig. Now, there's
two of you. Make friends. This is the power of
the porch. If you see somebody and you're like,
hey, I'm in Michigan. I'm also Michigan. Let's
get Sarah Beth up here at Mackinac. All right.
It's pretty easy. My number's on the website.
But in the meantime... I'm going to spend the
rest of this week trying to get my house in order,
get my bed made, get my sheets changed, get my
dogs put away, get all my laundry folded and
hung up. So somebody just check on me in the
next couple days and make sure that I'm still
breathing. If you don't see me on here, it's
because I've completely expired under the avalanche
of things on my to -do list. And my hair's not
drying like I want it to. Because I didn't put
nothing in it. I'm just letting it dry. So. That's
awesome, Shannon. I like that. I try to hold
Jesus so tight I can hear his heartbeat. I get
that. No matter how tightly I hang on to Jesus,
he's got a lot tighter hold on me. His grip's
a lot stronger than mine is. Sherry's asking
if there's anybody from O -H -I -O. Oh, hi. Lisa.
Lisa and Amanda's in Montana. Get it together.
I'm so excited. This is how connections happen
on the porch. See, right? There's some Arkansas
in there. We should start like Arkansas SBT porch.
Missouri porch. Mississippi porch. Michigan porch.
Montana porch. There's no Trump porch. There's
not like a membership day. Start a porch. Invite
people to it. See? People are meeting. I love
it. Sherry and Madison are talking in Ohio. Power
of the porch. Completely lost your shit. Natasha's
in Chattanooga, which is right beside Cleveland,
which is where my grandparents are from. It's
a pretty place. Do you have time to tell the
pick and valley of your day, the best and worst
part? The best part of my day? I was getting
three silkies. You know how much I love my little
silkies. And I don't know. I had a good day.
It was just a busy day, and I got too hot. Worst
part of my day is I didn't get to go to the tanning
bed, and I haven't eaten yet. But I haven't had
an appetite. It's because I'm working so hard,
and I got hot. So all in all, it was kind of
a pretty even calibrated day. Nothing major,
nothing minor. You know, just kind of rolling
with the homies. This is a dress, and it's got
a... sensed waste which makes it like pool sorry
thank you tracy last time on thursday i used
the curl cream i used the coconut curl cream
and i think i'll use that again it's just kind
of it's humid and i'm just letting it dry natural
because i don't like to put heat on it all the
time but i am happy to say that my hair's not
looking as brassy as i thought it would considering
that i've washed it so many times still keeping
its its color loving it we have a porch chat
group so it's on the it's on the messenger so
you can subscribe you know i should do that samantha
i also have two or three of them turbines that
are hanging there on the back of the door that
i haven't even used yet but you know it's just
it's whatever i just thought i'd just sit out
here in the night air tonight just let it just
continue to get wetter not getting any dryer
i love this virginia check in sandy is looking
for you Lori's going to go back to the casinos
and the bars tomorrow. We might as well. If that's
the reason you have to go, it's the reason you
have to go. Tracy, I'm trying to create a silky
phoenix mix, which I know is probably not of
God. It's going to look like a chicken with a
mullet. It's just going to be all fuzzy on top
and then have long tail feathers. Billy Ray chicken.
Anyway. I love this. Look at you. What days do
I have available? If it's not booked on the website,
then it's available. And if it's not on that
big poster above my name on my Facebook, then
the date's available. So, if you see... Oh, at
least I use the purple shampoo all the time.
Hello. Shimmer Lights. It's my favorite. My granny's
been using it for years. So, if you get on my
website and you're like, what does she have on
September the 12th? Nothing. That's the day I'll
book her. It's that simple. Everything I have
is listed. I didn't get lowlights. I just got
highlights. My friend Monica Brimmer up at the
parlor in Northern Kentucky in Burlington did
that two weeks ago. So, and she put them, like,
all the way into my hairline so when I wear my
hair up, it doesn't show. It doesn't have, like,
a demarcation line. So she did a really good
job. Don't judge her on the cut right now. The
color is what I'm looking at because I'm letting
it dry naturally. So, y 'all have your mission
porch. Get together. Visit with each other. Follow
each other. Make friends. Find me a gig. And
then I'll come and visit both of you, three of
you, four of you, five of you, however many there
are on your porch. We'll all go together. So
there you are. It's good to know. I've got a
hair in my face. There it is. There it is. There
it is. There it is. I can see it in the reflection.
So, I love that you all are connecting. Tracy,
I'll check that. Thank you so much for telling
me. So, tomorrow is Tuesday, which means that
the restore is open. Samantha, before I forget,
Sean sent you the stuff for November the 7th.
We're so excited about it. So just let me know
if you have any questions, comments, concerns,
requests, anything that we need to do between
now and then. Besides, you know, contracts and
posters and stuff like that. But anyway, just
wanted to tell you to look out for your email
because he sent that out today. And I hadn't
had a chance to talk to you. This is how we catch
up. This is how we catch up. I just pretend I'm
on the phone with you. I know there's 200 people
watching. But I'm specifically talking to you,
Samantha. And have you put them plants in the
ground yet? Because you need to get them in the
ground before the first frost hits in September.
So, just saying. All right, friends, well, that's
all I know besides having two rose bushes, coneflowers,
black -eyed seasons, and a gardenia on the porch
that I have to plant tomorrow, including two
hostas and a lily that I just found out there
today that I forgot to plant two weeks ago. I'm
telling you, I'm just not with it. This backyard
is looking like the Viet Cong at this point.
My fence is falling down. I'm going to have to
get the Amish to come help me put it back up.
It's too wet and it's too heavy to put it by
myself. Just need some friends. Just need some
local friends that can just be like, please come
over and help me. So that's all I know. All right,
friends. Well, that's it from this side of the
porch to Sydney. Keep your Bibles up and your
powder down your head on a swivel because people
are acting crazy. Be nice to other people, animals,
and children. Try to love your neighbor if you
can't give it to God because he loves you and
I do too. And until I see you again tomorrow,
remember, friends, I'm Sarah Beth Terry. You're
not. Bye.