WEBVTT 00:00:02.350 --> 00:00:05.549 Grab your Bible and grab your smokes News and 00:00:05.549 --> 00:00:08.570 weather, music and jokes See on the porch in 00:00:08.570 --> 00:00:10.650 my favorite house coat It's the Sarah Beth Terry 00:00:10.650 --> 00:00:14.269 Show She's a feral Christian out in the wild 00:00:14.269 --> 00:00:17.410 A cigarette mom with a queen bee style Talking 00:00:17.410 --> 00:00:19.769 or singing about somebody you know It's the Sarah 00:00:19.769 --> 00:00:22.269 Beth Terry, the Sarah Beth Terry It's the Sarah 00:00:22.269 --> 00:00:25.989 Beth Terry Show I'm Sarah Beth Terry and you're 00:00:25.989 --> 00:00:34.549 not Hello Good afternoon, porch people. It is 00:00:34.549 --> 00:00:38.369 Tuesday, July the 28th, 2026. This is the news 00:00:38.369 --> 00:00:44.229 that they should have put in the paper. So if 00:00:44.229 --> 00:00:46.450 you've got coffee or tea or like my mother, are 00:00:46.450 --> 00:00:51.670 you still drinking that Mountain Dew? Yes. Only 00:00:51.670 --> 00:00:55.570 because I'm out of wine. It's not time for communion. 00:00:56.250 --> 00:00:57.929 So, you know, pull up a chair and we'll solve 00:00:57.929 --> 00:00:59.429 all the world's problems before the sun goes 00:00:59.429 --> 00:01:02.270 down. I'm going to angle because mom might make 00:01:02.270 --> 00:01:04.010 an appearance here on the Johnny Carson show. 00:01:05.269 --> 00:01:09.750 You're like in our next guest. Oh, some fun headlines 00:01:09.750 --> 00:01:12.709 for you this week. Lawmakers are back in Washington 00:01:12.709 --> 00:01:15.689 with spending bills, border security, election 00:01:15.689 --> 00:01:19.049 issues, all that good stuff. It's shaping up 00:01:19.049 --> 00:01:21.170 to be another really loud week on Capitol Hill. 00:01:21.189 --> 00:01:22.769 And here's something fun from Andy Beshear today. 00:01:23.730 --> 00:01:27.390 He is demanding that Mitch McConnell do a an 00:01:27.390 --> 00:01:30.659 address to his constituents. to prove that he 00:01:30.659 --> 00:01:33.159 is capable of fulfilling his duty as congressman 00:01:33.159 --> 00:01:35.900 or else immediately resign. It might be the smartest 00:01:35.900 --> 00:01:37.299 thing Beshear has said since he's been in office. 00:01:38.060 --> 00:01:43.200 So, I'm just saying. Things is crazy. Markets 00:01:43.200 --> 00:01:45.120 continue to keep their eye on inflation and interest 00:01:45.120 --> 00:01:47.579 rates. Folks are still watching grocery prices 00:01:47.579 --> 00:01:49.359 more closely than the stock market, but honestly, 00:01:49.500 --> 00:01:51.959 that's probably a real indicator of life. But 00:01:51.959 --> 00:01:55.200 I know that gas today cost me $65 to fill up 00:01:55.200 --> 00:01:58.420 an 18 -gallon tank, so that was fun. But, you 00:01:58.420 --> 00:02:01.650 know. Fun times all around. I did buy J .D. Vance's 00:02:01.650 --> 00:02:04.269 new book called Communion today at Walmart. It 00:02:04.269 --> 00:02:06.709 was just released. So super excited to read that 00:02:06.709 --> 00:02:09.750 since I enjoyed Hillbilly Elegy so much. I buy 00:02:09.750 --> 00:02:11.289 a lot of books at Goodwill, but every now and 00:02:11.289 --> 00:02:13.050 again I'll treat myself to something brand new. 00:02:15.169 --> 00:02:17.849 Have you heard anything, Mom, about that book? 00:02:18.969 --> 00:02:24.870 Uh -uh. I'm really excited about getting started 00:02:24.870 --> 00:02:28.039 into it. Large wildfires continue burning in 00:02:28.039 --> 00:02:30.800 several western states from here. Firefighters 00:02:30.800 --> 00:02:32.400 are battling high temperatures, dry conditions, 00:02:32.539 --> 00:02:35.060 and strong winds. Thousands remain under evacuation 00:02:35.060 --> 00:02:39.060 notices in the affected areas. And now the fire 00:02:39.060 --> 00:02:42.219 in the Grand Canyon has been upgraded to a mega 00:02:42.219 --> 00:02:48.379 fire. Bad, bad, bad news. You're going to have 00:02:48.379 --> 00:02:55.389 to put on your microphone so we can talk. She's 00:02:55.389 --> 00:02:57.189 got to get the broom. She's left her microphone 00:02:57.189 --> 00:02:59.289 on and sitting there on the table, so don't tell 00:02:59.289 --> 00:03:01.689 them what you'll hear with us. Sorry, I was smoking, 00:03:01.710 --> 00:03:03.569 and I'm in the rocking chair, so you never know. 00:03:03.990 --> 00:03:07.310 You never know what's going to happen. What's 00:03:07.310 --> 00:03:09.289 really cool, I guess, NASA continues preparing 00:03:09.289 --> 00:03:12.310 for upcoming Artemis missions. They're aimed 00:03:12.310 --> 00:03:16.669 at returning astronauts to the moon. Maybe for 00:03:16.669 --> 00:03:19.370 the first time. Every time I hear about going 00:03:19.370 --> 00:03:20.750 back to the moon, I still wonder why we can't 00:03:20.750 --> 00:03:23.050 get decent cell service in half of Appalachia. 00:03:23.669 --> 00:03:28.659 I'm like... If you called Nixon on a landline 00:03:28.659 --> 00:03:34.620 with no delay, shouldn't we be able to get our 00:03:34.620 --> 00:03:37.319 Dollar General coupons once we walk past the 00:03:37.319 --> 00:03:39.539 big metal doors in the front? I'm just asking. 00:03:40.020 --> 00:03:42.840 Inquiring minds want to know. In Appalachia, 00:03:42.840 --> 00:03:44.900 county fairs are kicking off across Kentucky 00:03:44.900 --> 00:03:46.740 and West Virginia and Tennessee and Virginia. 00:03:48.199 --> 00:03:50.319 Sweet corn is finally coming in, and you've probably 00:03:50.319 --> 00:03:52.000 got more tomatoes than you can count in your 00:03:52.000 --> 00:03:54.159 garden. Farmers are watching the skies, hoping 00:03:54.159 --> 00:03:56.740 for rain without all these damaging storms. So 00:03:56.740 --> 00:03:59.139 we're under severe thunderstorm watch for the 00:03:59.139 --> 00:04:02.800 rest of the evening. This morning it told me 00:04:02.800 --> 00:04:04.539 that there was a tornado warning for seven hours. 00:04:04.780 --> 00:04:08.360 I was like, I think somebody's drunk on the job 00:04:08.360 --> 00:04:10.840 over there at the National Weather Service. I'd 00:04:10.840 --> 00:04:12.400 be like, just tell them to get underground. Just 00:04:12.400 --> 00:04:15.759 tell them it's just to hang out and kiss their 00:04:15.759 --> 00:04:18.639 ass goodbye. I'm like, who's working at NOAA 00:04:18.639 --> 00:04:23.060 this week? On Today in History. July the 28th 00:04:23.060 --> 00:04:26.079 in 1868, the 14th Amendment officially became 00:04:26.079 --> 00:04:30.980 part of the U .S. Constitution. In 1945, a U 00:04:30.980 --> 00:04:32.680 .S. Army bomber accidentally struck the Empire 00:04:32.680 --> 00:04:38.420 State Building in a heavy fog. In 1976, an earthquake 00:04:38.420 --> 00:04:41.779 devastated Tangshan, China, becoming one of the 00:04:41.779 --> 00:04:44.180 deadliest natural disasters in recorded history. 00:04:44.240 --> 00:04:48.220 That's back in 1976. And in 2020, Hurricane Isaiah 00:04:48.220 --> 00:04:51.060 began its path toward the United States. Of course, 00:04:51.079 --> 00:04:52.879 we were too busy suffering from COVID to notice 00:04:52.879 --> 00:04:56.019 that the weather had changed. Looks like that 00:04:56.019 --> 00:04:57.699 time Ryan got that real bad case of anthrax. 00:04:58.339 --> 00:05:03.139 No, that was Ryan. I said Ryan. You were watching 00:05:03.139 --> 00:05:06.100 this morning. Anyway, in the Farmer's Almanac, 00:05:06.160 --> 00:05:08.500 what to expect this week? Cucumbers are producing 00:05:08.500 --> 00:05:11.600 faster than anybody can eat them. Granny said 00:05:11.600 --> 00:05:12.920 she got three different deliveries of cucumbers 00:05:12.920 --> 00:05:14.759 this week. She's going to have to make some pickles. 00:05:15.680 --> 00:05:17.519 And she's going to make some squash sauce with 00:05:17.519 --> 00:05:19.660 it. Or was that squash relish instead of zucchini 00:05:19.660 --> 00:05:22.759 relish this year? Has she lost her mind? No, 00:05:22.779 --> 00:05:24.759 it's really good. Is it as good as the zucchini 00:05:24.759 --> 00:05:28.600 relish? Yeah. She better hope it is. She's only 00:05:28.600 --> 00:05:32.300 87. She better not screw this up. This might 00:05:32.300 --> 00:05:33.920 be the last batch we ever get. I'll make sure 00:05:33.920 --> 00:05:36.939 it's not bad. One time, oh my goodness, I have 00:05:36.939 --> 00:05:38.199 to tell this story because it's really funny. 00:05:38.300 --> 00:05:39.759 And now it's become a family heirloom story. 00:05:41.300 --> 00:05:43.980 One time, we all have Sunday dinner, and Granny 00:05:43.980 --> 00:05:45.720 usually does like a meat and three kind of situation. 00:05:45.860 --> 00:05:49.240 There's like ham and green beans and taters and 00:05:49.240 --> 00:05:51.779 carrots and whatever's in the garden or whatever 00:05:51.779 --> 00:05:55.839 she's squashed up. Well, one Sunday, she made 00:05:55.839 --> 00:06:00.220 what we thought was cream corn. Genevieve Gould 00:06:00.220 --> 00:06:02.639 had give her that. Genevieve Gould had give her 00:06:02.639 --> 00:06:07.000 that. A jar of it. Homemade. Homemade. And we 00:06:07.000 --> 00:06:08.259 were like, we all took a big bite, and we were 00:06:08.259 --> 00:06:14.459 like. It was chow chow. Corn relish. It was just 00:06:14.459 --> 00:06:16.560 as pickled, sir, as you could get. And she'd 00:06:16.560 --> 00:06:19.040 heated it up. We all took a big old heaping back 00:06:19.040 --> 00:06:21.319 thinking it was sweet. It was not. It was not. 00:06:21.699 --> 00:06:23.339 That was like the time that Shirley put the peas 00:06:23.339 --> 00:06:26.939 in the spinach dip. Why would you put peas in 00:06:26.939 --> 00:06:28.800 the spinach dip? My brother has an aversion to 00:06:28.800 --> 00:06:30.259 peas. He can smell them. He's like literally 00:06:30.259 --> 00:06:32.500 the princess and the pea. He can smell them a 00:06:32.500 --> 00:06:35.000 mile away. And he's like, nope, nope, not of 00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:38.240 God. Don't eat peas. So it's really funny because. 00:06:40.150 --> 00:06:45.290 Shirley, Mace, that's my dad. He just drives 00:06:45.290 --> 00:06:48.529 his, we all have little farm implements. A fried 00:06:48.529 --> 00:06:54.970 and weed eater. So we have the razor and dad 00:06:54.970 --> 00:06:56.790 has the four -wheeler and mom has the golf cart 00:06:56.790 --> 00:06:58.470 and granny has the golf cart. Beth has the golf 00:06:58.470 --> 00:07:00.810 cart. I don't have a golf cart. He's broke my 00:07:00.810 --> 00:07:07.189 golf cart. Screw. Anyway, we all just kind of. 00:07:07.639 --> 00:07:09.899 put it around the farm and but there's not a 00:07:09.899 --> 00:07:11.500 road to do it we just kind of drive through that 00:07:11.500 --> 00:07:13.720 big old field between our houses and everybody 00:07:13.720 --> 00:07:15.019 has one of these big old fields between their 00:07:15.019 --> 00:07:16.699 houses except between me and onlings and there's 00:07:16.699 --> 00:07:20.199 just a peony patch anyway so where were we talking 00:07:20.199 --> 00:07:24.259 about oh somebody remind me what we was talking 00:07:24.259 --> 00:07:27.160 about oh relish so we thought that it was okay 00:07:27.160 --> 00:07:29.560 we got to charlie charlie made really good spinach 00:07:29.560 --> 00:07:31.500 dip and she put it in the king swine bread you 00:07:31.500 --> 00:07:33.040 know for christmas and we'd pinch it and stick 00:07:33.699 --> 00:07:36.540 Well, then one year, she decided to put a big 00:07:36.540 --> 00:07:39.720 old bag of peas in there. And Dylan loves frozen 00:07:39.720 --> 00:07:43.980 peas. Dylan loves, I got something sticky on 00:07:43.980 --> 00:07:48.420 my mouth, loves spinach dip, loves it so much. 00:07:48.439 --> 00:07:50.079 And he literally got a big old scoop, and he 00:07:50.079 --> 00:07:52.379 literally got it right here in his mouth. Who 00:07:52.379 --> 00:07:59.160 put peas in spinach dip? I mean, just. And Shirley 00:07:59.160 --> 00:08:00.779 said, well, they was green. I thought they'd 00:08:00.779 --> 00:08:03.240 be all right. I was like, oh, my God. Why would 00:08:03.240 --> 00:08:07.079 you make pea and spinach dip? Broccoli would 00:08:07.079 --> 00:08:10.959 have been a better choice. At least it would 00:08:10.959 --> 00:08:15.459 have been kind of like an Alfredo dip. Please 00:08:15.459 --> 00:08:18.000 come put it on your microphone. People are asking 00:08:18.000 --> 00:08:21.199 where you are. I'm in the yard. I know that you're 00:08:21.199 --> 00:08:23.579 just wandering around behind me like she's loose 00:08:23.579 --> 00:08:29.050 from an insane asylum. Get your microphone. Our 00:08:29.050 --> 00:08:32.009 gutter, a week ago yesterday, I mean our roof, 00:08:32.129 --> 00:08:36.149 a week ago yesterday, and shucks. They didn't 00:08:36.149 --> 00:08:39.110 finish it up until yesterday, and then they were 00:08:39.110 --> 00:08:41.190 supposed to do the gutters Monday, and they didn't 00:08:41.190 --> 00:08:42.830 come Tuesday, and they were supposed to come... 00:08:42.830 --> 00:08:47.750 Can I have a sit on that side? My mom's coming 00:08:47.750 --> 00:08:49.909 on. Ladies and gentlemen, please make welcome 00:08:49.909 --> 00:08:52.990 to the Sarah Beth Terry Show, my mother, Tammy 00:08:52.990 --> 00:08:56.820 Terry. Hello. Oh. Oh, Michael said if you liked 00:08:56.820 --> 00:08:59.159 them rims, I'll hook y 'all up because they're 00:08:59.159 --> 00:09:03.259 pretty inexpensive. Them what? Them glasses that 00:09:03.259 --> 00:09:05.820 you liked from Facebook today. Yeah, I know. 00:09:05.860 --> 00:09:07.840 I just want to know how much they were. I just 00:09:07.840 --> 00:09:09.320 want the frames. They're all less than $300. 00:09:09.580 --> 00:09:12.080 So he said, but that's with your prescription. 00:09:12.200 --> 00:09:14.720 So frames is cheaper. So he said y 'all can talk. 00:09:14.740 --> 00:09:16.980 I just want frames. Well, I'll hook y 'all up. 00:09:17.039 --> 00:09:18.480 He's a fan club president of mine from North 00:09:18.480 --> 00:09:21.620 Carolina. I love Michael. He was in Tennessee. 00:09:21.720 --> 00:09:23.919 We met because we had an affinity for Dolly Parton. 00:09:24.179 --> 00:09:27.240 And then he worked for Lane Bryant in Pigeon 00:09:27.240 --> 00:09:29.340 Forge, and then he hopped trains and did something 00:09:29.340 --> 00:09:31.460 in North Carolina for a bit. And then he ended 00:09:31.460 --> 00:09:33.120 up going to Ohio because he's so good at being 00:09:33.120 --> 00:09:35.519 at the eye doctor. So they've moved him up there 00:09:35.519 --> 00:09:38.080 to, like, the corporate office. I'm telling you, 00:09:38.100 --> 00:09:41.340 Michael's, like, he's so good. Like, all my friends 00:09:41.340 --> 00:09:42.960 are doing really good in eye care. Steven made, 00:09:43.039 --> 00:09:45.960 got assistant manager of that whole brand. He 00:09:45.960 --> 00:09:47.460 said, well, your Aunt Charlie was right. I'm 00:09:47.460 --> 00:09:49.580 now the assistant manager of the, what she called 00:09:49.580 --> 00:09:54.279 it, lens crafters. He is like the assistant creative, 00:09:54.779 --> 00:09:58.740 what? Shh. It's a hummingbird. It's a hummingbird. 00:09:58.919 --> 00:10:02.179 The assistant creative, whatever, of that entire 00:10:02.179 --> 00:10:04.840 brand of eye design stuff. Like, it's a big deal. 00:10:05.080 --> 00:10:08.320 And he's not sent me a pair of front frames. 00:10:08.480 --> 00:10:11.059 What is up with that? I know. We've been friends 00:10:11.059 --> 00:10:15.740 for 25, six years now. anyway with me also duh 00:10:15.740 --> 00:10:18.100 i know steven sayers if you're watching this 00:10:18.100 --> 00:10:23.200 you gotta call my mom so anyway um but it was 00:10:23.200 --> 00:10:25.500 so funny because shirley told at church that 00:10:25.500 --> 00:10:27.500 sarah's friend steven got made assistant manager 00:10:27.500 --> 00:10:31.440 of their lens crafters or no sunglass hut sunglass 00:10:31.440 --> 00:10:33.679 hut he made assistant manager at that sunglass 00:10:33.679 --> 00:10:35.220 set and he'd only been there two weeks and i 00:10:35.220 --> 00:10:37.659 was like that's not what not even true not even 00:10:37.659 --> 00:10:43.590 true not even in the not even a little bit Nope. 00:10:43.950 --> 00:10:48.090 Not it. Anyway, Lisa said she loves Miss Tammy's 00:10:48.090 --> 00:10:54.590 hair. Who? Lisa. We're in Esther County right 00:10:54.590 --> 00:11:03.350 now. I went and got ink for your printer. Oh, 00:11:03.350 --> 00:11:05.470 I ordered some from Amazon. It'll be here Friday. 00:11:05.750 --> 00:11:09.850 Well, I have to print out a screenplay because 00:11:09.850 --> 00:11:12.450 I've been asked to star in a movie. Not star. 00:11:14.289 --> 00:11:22.370 Appear. Have a pretty big role in a movie. So 00:11:22.370 --> 00:11:25.009 I'm really excited about it. So it's a 125 -page 00:11:25.009 --> 00:11:26.389 screenplay, so I have to go through it and read 00:11:26.389 --> 00:11:28.049 my lines. And she shows up on, like, page three 00:11:28.049 --> 00:11:29.649 at the beauty shop, so I'll have to get in there, 00:11:29.750 --> 00:11:32.779 you know? So I'm like... Ha! Is this how Dolly 00:11:32.779 --> 00:11:34.120 Parton felt when they asked her to be in Steel 00:11:34.120 --> 00:11:36.179 Magnolias? She's like, I'm just country singing. 00:11:36.240 --> 00:11:38.480 They're like, do hair. She's like, okay. No, 00:11:38.600 --> 00:11:40.320 that's how she felt when they asked her to be 00:11:40.320 --> 00:11:46.559 in 9 to 5. Anyway, so I also said when I text 00:11:46.559 --> 00:11:48.460 her back, can't wait to read this, and do you 00:11:48.460 --> 00:11:51.759 need a soundtrack for said movie? Because I would 00:11:51.759 --> 00:11:56.399 like to throw my hat into the ring. Maybe I should 00:11:56.399 --> 00:11:58.620 play the part in the movie, and you should write 00:11:58.620 --> 00:12:00.580 the music. Maybe I could play the younger you. 00:12:04.750 --> 00:12:07.690 Why is she looking at me all weird? We look alike. 00:12:10.690 --> 00:12:15.009 Lori said she busted your movie. She took my 00:12:15.009 --> 00:12:19.409 thunder. Anyway, holy cow, a movie. I know. I 00:12:19.409 --> 00:12:21.350 can't say no more about it because that's all 00:12:21.350 --> 00:12:24.750 I know. Because it's just... It's in the baby 00:12:24.750 --> 00:12:28.029 stages. It's time to start thinking about your 00:12:28.029 --> 00:12:29.629 fall gardens. Have you been thinking about your 00:12:29.629 --> 00:12:34.639 fall gardens? My garden fall? Or how Dad weed 00:12:34.639 --> 00:12:40.419 -eated your hostas. So, okay, the bird seed had 00:12:40.419 --> 00:12:43.960 took root. And it was about corn high. So she 00:12:43.960 --> 00:12:47.120 asked him to weed -eat it. And instead, and instead. 00:12:47.700 --> 00:12:50.539 And in addition to. Oh, and in addition to. He 00:12:50.539 --> 00:12:52.919 also got every single one of her hostas and her 00:12:52.919 --> 00:12:58.639 sunflower. And now her yard looks barren. My 00:12:58.639 --> 00:13:05.019 garden is barren. Behold the field where I harvested. 00:13:05.179 --> 00:13:07.740 Notice the despair. I still have my colas, half 00:13:07.740 --> 00:13:12.179 of it, but the roofers got part of it. The roofers 00:13:12.179 --> 00:13:14.340 got the four clocks. I like to have lost my mind. 00:13:14.580 --> 00:13:16.840 Yeah, they trampled down my four clocks and they 00:13:16.840 --> 00:13:21.600 squished my rose bush. I may not know what a 00:13:21.600 --> 00:13:26.960 penny is, but I know I bet you I see one. That 00:13:26.960 --> 00:13:29.799 movie clip we watched, she said, you're squishing 00:13:29.799 --> 00:13:35.070 my penny. She said, those are marigolds. I may 00:13:35.070 --> 00:13:37.809 not know my flowers, but I know a bitch when 00:13:37.809 --> 00:13:43.909 I see one. It's just been a bad day. It's not 00:13:43.909 --> 00:13:47.409 been a bad day. It's been a wasted day. No, it's 00:13:47.409 --> 00:13:50.129 not been wasted. That's true. We went to the 00:13:50.129 --> 00:13:52.830 pharmacy, and I washed a load of clothes. We 00:13:52.830 --> 00:13:54.389 did go to the pharmacy, and then me and you went 00:13:54.389 --> 00:13:56.750 to the Dollar Tree. And I've got things to complete 00:13:56.750 --> 00:14:03.090 my Bible book back. If you're paying attention 00:14:03.090 --> 00:14:07.230 to the Almanac, as you should, second most favorite 00:14:07.230 --> 00:14:10.330 book besides the Bible, your sunrise tomorrow 00:14:10.330 --> 00:14:12.190 is going to be around 6 .30 a .m. So get up and 00:14:12.190 --> 00:14:15.769 milk them chickens. And the sunset will hit about 00:14:15.769 --> 00:14:17.909 quarter to nine. And a good way to decide if 00:14:17.909 --> 00:14:19.289 you're out in the yard how much daylight that 00:14:19.289 --> 00:14:22.590 you have left, put your hand out. And however 00:14:22.590 --> 00:14:26.429 many hands it is, from the sun to the horizon, 00:14:26.769 --> 00:14:29.129 that is 15 minute increments. And you are welcome. 00:14:29.370 --> 00:14:30.889 Well, what if you've got a little bitty hand? 00:14:31.070 --> 00:14:34.590 Doesn't matter. Still perspective. Or a great 00:14:34.590 --> 00:14:37.610 old big hand. Still perspective. It's like 100 00:14:37.610 --> 00:14:39.409 pounds of bowling balls or 100 pounds of feathers. 00:14:39.509 --> 00:14:42.210 They both weigh 100 pounds. Now, that can't be 00:14:42.210 --> 00:14:46.350 right. My hand is not the same as your daddy's 00:14:46.350 --> 00:14:48.570 hand. But if you hold it out perspective to where 00:14:48.570 --> 00:14:51.950 you are from the horizon to the sun, that's how 00:14:51.950 --> 00:14:54.409 much time you've got. Stop. I'm not making this 00:14:54.409 --> 00:14:58.409 up. Tim Farmer told me that. Oh, well, he's like 00:14:58.409 --> 00:15:02.950 a god. I'm pretty sure he's a disciple. No, I 00:15:02.950 --> 00:15:05.669 didn't say he was a disciple. I said he's a god. 00:15:06.129 --> 00:15:08.110 No, we can't call him. There's only one god. 00:15:08.830 --> 00:15:12.259 But he's like, God's like. Right hand. He's probably 00:15:12.259 --> 00:15:16.720 like an able, able spirit. I can't believe you 00:15:16.720 --> 00:15:21.960 snuck that in there. God's right hand. Oh! Are 00:15:21.960 --> 00:15:26.399 you sure he's not God's left hand? So if you 00:15:26.399 --> 00:15:29.879 don't know that story, Tim Farmer, he lost the 00:15:29.879 --> 00:15:32.220 use of his right arm in a motorcycle accident 00:15:32.220 --> 00:15:37.360 about 35, 40, 50 years ago now. And you better 00:15:37.360 --> 00:15:39.299 get your facts straight. It wasn't 50 years ago. 00:15:40.679 --> 00:15:44.379 About 40 years ago. That is not 50. I said about 00:15:44.379 --> 00:15:47.480 40. Good Lord. Okay, the point is, is he lost 00:15:47.480 --> 00:15:49.500 the use of his right arm. In a motorcycle accident. 00:15:49.500 --> 00:15:51.259 In a motorcycle accident. And then he went on 00:15:51.259 --> 00:15:53.720 to be like one of the best sportsmen in the entire 00:15:53.720 --> 00:15:55.259 world and shot a bow and arrow with his teeth. 00:15:55.360 --> 00:15:57.139 I met him in a bar in Ashland when he was there 00:15:57.139 --> 00:15:58.500 for a family reunion. I was there for a gig. 00:15:58.840 --> 00:16:00.700 And when he put out his left hand and shook mine, 00:16:00.779 --> 00:16:02.580 I was like, holy crap, you're Tim Farmer. There 00:16:02.580 --> 00:16:06.059 was a holy trifecta on Sundays. Jesus, Dale Earnhardt, 00:16:06.059 --> 00:16:09.750 and Tim Farmer. That's what I heard. And all 00:16:09.750 --> 00:16:12.470 God's people said, amen, boogity, boogity, boogity. 00:16:12.690 --> 00:16:15.909 And I'll see you in the in the woods or in the 00:16:15.909 --> 00:16:18.570 water. And that was what Tim Farmer said to sign 00:16:18.570 --> 00:16:20.169 up. So anyway, he was the host of Kentucky Field 00:16:20.169 --> 00:16:22.009 for many a year. And then he had his own thing 00:16:22.009 --> 00:16:25.370 and still does. But he officiated mine and Sean's 00:16:25.370 --> 00:16:27.450 wedding. And that was when Sean had his motorcycle 00:16:27.450 --> 00:16:29.309 rigged and also had lost the use of his right 00:16:29.309 --> 00:16:32.149 arm at the time. So Tim actually was going to 00:16:32.149 --> 00:16:34.509 start out the wedding with who gave the right 00:16:34.509 --> 00:16:36.149 arm to be here today. And I was like, don't start 00:16:36.149 --> 00:16:39.429 with that. Don't say that. And he was like, I 00:16:39.429 --> 00:16:40.549 thought it was funny. I was like, it's not that 00:16:40.549 --> 00:16:42.750 bad. They are just so sweet. Oh, when he comes 00:16:42.750 --> 00:16:44.710 to hear me play and he likes the song, he'll 00:16:44.710 --> 00:16:48.389 go, Nicky. And she'll clap his hand. Because 00:16:48.389 --> 00:16:51.190 he only has the use of one. Hey, maybe for Christmas 00:16:51.190 --> 00:16:53.649 we could get him one of them little clappers. 00:16:54.210 --> 00:16:56.710 You know, like he used to do at ball games. He's 00:16:56.710 --> 00:16:58.870 fair game. Don't you come after me. Because I 00:16:58.870 --> 00:17:02.210 read his biography. And when he first lost the 00:17:02.210 --> 00:17:03.929 use of his arm and had to find little odd jobs, 00:17:04.049 --> 00:17:06.369 it turns out that he worked for his uncle who's 00:17:06.369 --> 00:17:11.529 a contractor. And he hung wallpaper. So Tim was 00:17:11.529 --> 00:17:15.509 literally a one -armed paper hanger for a short 00:17:15.509 --> 00:17:18.990 time of his life. And I said, no more can you 00:17:18.990 --> 00:17:22.609 give me any shit for giving you shit. Because 00:17:22.609 --> 00:17:23.650 I told him, I said, I'm not going to hunt with 00:17:23.650 --> 00:17:25.369 you no more. He said, why? I said, Tim, not every 00:17:25.369 --> 00:17:28.529 deer you see is this big. And he was like, that 00:17:28.529 --> 00:17:30.930 one day he came over with that big keg of whiskey 00:17:30.930 --> 00:17:32.390 and two shot glasses. He said, I brought you 00:17:32.390 --> 00:17:33.769 a drink. I said, well, don't be an asshole. Pour 00:17:33.769 --> 00:17:37.509 me some. He goes. And that one I called Nicky. 00:17:37.609 --> 00:17:39.369 And he said, why'd you call my wife? I said, 00:17:39.390 --> 00:17:40.589 I'm sorry, Tam, I thought maybe you had your 00:17:40.589 --> 00:17:47.309 handful. I love them. I love them so much. I 00:17:47.309 --> 00:17:51.369 have made several of his dishes, you know, his 00:17:51.369 --> 00:17:54.700 recipes, because I have his cookbook. She gave 00:17:54.700 --> 00:17:57.259 him most of the recipe. I did. I did. She made 00:17:57.259 --> 00:17:59.240 him write that in the cookbook when he inscribed 00:17:59.240 --> 00:18:01.500 it. Thank you for all your recipes. Thank you 00:18:01.500 --> 00:18:04.259 for all your help. She has had the same oven 00:18:04.259 --> 00:18:08.319 since 1981. It's been turned on 12 times. And 00:18:08.319 --> 00:18:09.839 once I think it's because the cast iron revved 00:18:09.839 --> 00:18:11.299 up against it. I don't even think it would help 00:18:11.299 --> 00:18:15.660 me out. Oh, my Lord. Yeah. But, I mean, his recipes 00:18:15.660 --> 00:18:18.519 are really good. Really, really good. He's not 00:18:18.519 --> 00:18:19.839 like one of those guys. You should look at Tim 00:18:19.839 --> 00:18:24.180 Farmer's Country Kitchen. It is phenomenal. And 00:18:24.180 --> 00:18:26.539 I've been a guest on there several times because 00:18:26.539 --> 00:18:29.380 we're best friends. Well, I wouldn't say best. 00:18:30.519 --> 00:18:33.180 We're closer than y 'all are. Dad's been to his 00:18:33.180 --> 00:18:34.640 house. Remember that time I surprised Dad and 00:18:34.640 --> 00:18:36.480 just took him with me? Dad was like, we're at 00:18:36.480 --> 00:18:37.700 Tim Farmer's house right now. I was like, you've 00:18:37.700 --> 00:18:40.559 got to be cool. You're embarrassing me right 00:18:40.559 --> 00:18:42.319 now. Would you, before you light that, please 00:18:42.319 --> 00:18:43.819 get me something to drink because I am spitting 00:18:43.819 --> 00:18:46.480 cotton. Please, I love you. My husband is so 00:18:46.480 --> 00:18:48.519 good to me, even though he wore a Trophy Husband 00:18:48.519 --> 00:18:50.180 T -shirt and swimming trunks to the Walmart. 00:18:52.059 --> 00:18:55.980 It was an old -fashioned choice. I wondered why 00:18:55.980 --> 00:18:58.819 he had lime green shirt. Because he put all his 00:18:58.819 --> 00:19:02.740 shit in the dryer. Washer. Washer and everything 00:19:02.740 --> 00:19:04.960 went amok. And he washed it with nothing but 00:19:04.960 --> 00:19:09.779 biz. See, I use washer sheets. I use Earthbreeze, 00:19:09.880 --> 00:19:15.000 which is made in Kentucky. Well, he didn't know. 00:19:15.599 --> 00:19:19.660 So he got the biz out and used biz just to wash 00:19:19.660 --> 00:19:24.029 his... clothes with so I had to wash them again 00:19:24.029 --> 00:19:27.230 because they weren't clean because biz is an 00:19:27.230 --> 00:19:30.190 additive you know I know it's not a detergent 00:19:30.190 --> 00:19:34.089 would you quit what is that I don't nothing there's 00:19:34.089 --> 00:19:37.089 nothing there honest there is no there's not 00:19:37.089 --> 00:19:41.289 you remember when you were going through the 00:19:41.289 --> 00:19:44.509 thing and you said you had that little spiky 00:19:44.509 --> 00:19:47.769 hair that would that's what it is I'm sorry. 00:19:47.849 --> 00:19:50.269 The perimenopause. It's the perimenopause spiky 00:19:50.269 --> 00:19:53.609 hair, the cougar puberty. And it just hurts. 00:19:53.690 --> 00:19:57.670 It feels like I've got a finger in my lip. Well, 00:19:57.670 --> 00:20:00.970 quit. I think that was it. Don't touch it. Oh, 00:20:00.970 --> 00:20:04.549 that was it. Oh, he was an angry elf. Oh, he 00:20:04.549 --> 00:20:08.890 was. I saw him. He was white. It was a hair, 00:20:09.009 --> 00:20:10.769 and it was poking me. Nope, didn't get it off. 00:20:11.329 --> 00:20:12.910 Go in there and get the tweezers and quit. I 00:20:12.910 --> 00:20:18.599 don't want to. hello oh caroline says she uses 00:20:18.599 --> 00:20:23.420 earth breeze too yeah i love it and that way 00:20:23.420 --> 00:20:25.299 you don't have you know you're saving the world 00:20:25.299 --> 00:20:28.099 with all the plastic and you know detergent is 00:20:28.099 --> 00:20:31.880 mostly water anyway and it's so foolish and you 00:20:31.880 --> 00:20:34.259 can order direct from the company we are not 00:20:34.259 --> 00:20:36.640 getting paid for this endorsement no we should 00:20:37.440 --> 00:20:39.559 We're going to tag you in the reel there. Send 00:20:39.559 --> 00:20:44.240 money. Why do you always say that? I just put 00:20:44.240 --> 00:20:47.259 a roof and half of guttering on. You know, speaking 00:20:47.259 --> 00:20:48.640 of send money. And I still got to buy shutters. 00:20:48.700 --> 00:20:50.380 Speaking of money, today is Sally Strother's 00:20:50.380 --> 00:20:54.599 birthday. Well, sorry I missed the party. And 00:20:54.599 --> 00:20:58.200 Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis' birthday is today. 00:20:59.160 --> 00:21:02.160 I'm not even Catholic. But we are for her for 00:21:02.160 --> 00:21:09.549 that. I did love her. Here, come here. Here, 00:21:09.630 --> 00:21:14.789 come here. She had a mosquito on her neck. Like 00:21:14.789 --> 00:21:16.690 that time I smacked you in the mouth with my 00:21:16.690 --> 00:21:20.170 hairbrush. No, I didn't have a mosquito. I just 00:21:20.170 --> 00:21:23.730 had a smart mouth. Still does. It's intelligent. 00:21:23.769 --> 00:21:27.109 And she had the worst habit. She'd mouth off, 00:21:27.269 --> 00:21:30.329 and I'd turn around. And, of course, all you 00:21:30.329 --> 00:21:31.690 had to do was look at her cross -eyed, and her 00:21:31.690 --> 00:21:36.119 nose would bleed. And she learned. If I got ready 00:21:36.119 --> 00:21:39.160 to slap her mouth for sassing, she'd duck her 00:21:39.160 --> 00:21:41.619 head. So see, I'd just catch the end of that 00:21:41.619 --> 00:21:44.400 nose, and her nose would pour the blood. She'd 00:21:44.400 --> 00:21:48.119 go, I'm going to call Child Protective Services. 00:21:48.220 --> 00:21:53.720 I said the number, 723 -7653. Go ahead and call 00:21:53.720 --> 00:21:56.599 them. Give them a reason to come. I'll be waiting 00:21:56.599 --> 00:22:01.779 at the door with your suitcase. And now they 00:22:01.779 --> 00:22:05.460 miss me so much. Huh? I said, y 'all miss me 00:22:05.460 --> 00:22:10.059 so much now when I don't come home. Hey, 11 blessings 00:22:10.059 --> 00:22:13.440 from the east end of Long Island. Lit and ready 00:22:13.440 --> 00:22:15.220 to listen. Well, welcome to the porch. You know, 00:22:15.240 --> 00:22:17.440 I never have been up that way. I ain't neither. 00:22:17.519 --> 00:22:21.420 We should go. Yeah. I mean, it is far. I'd have 00:22:21.420 --> 00:22:23.559 to fly because I've got to where I hate to drive. 00:22:24.140 --> 00:22:27.940 I don't even like to ride. Oh, my goodness. I 00:22:27.940 --> 00:22:29.680 get those little hairs. My fiance pulls them 00:22:29.680 --> 00:22:31.339 out when I'm not paying attention. Stephanie. 00:22:33.019 --> 00:22:35.259 You better start paying attention. Maybe we need 00:22:35.259 --> 00:22:38.740 to teach you how to play some grip ball. Maybe 00:22:38.740 --> 00:22:41.059 you just hit him when he ain't paying no attention. 00:22:43.119 --> 00:22:49.339 Damn, Mama, Kaylana said. Kaylana. See, I'm sounding 00:22:49.339 --> 00:22:53.519 like my mother. Who? Who is that? Who is that? 00:22:54.160 --> 00:22:56.480 Oh, hi, Vicki Boland. She said, miss seeing you 00:22:56.480 --> 00:23:01.019 guys. I miss the lake. I miss the big talk. Back 00:23:01.019 --> 00:23:02.720 in the big days, the good days of the big top. 00:23:04.559 --> 00:23:08.259 I missed playing that one game. Screw Your Neighbor? 00:23:08.500 --> 00:23:15.039 No. The little card game. Keno. Keno. I missed 00:23:15.039 --> 00:23:19.519 that. That was fun. I miss your Granny Dot. I 00:23:19.519 --> 00:23:23.740 do, but Lord, she's incarnate. Yeah, I'm telling 00:23:23.740 --> 00:23:26.960 you. I've never seen... Okay, so that would be 00:23:26.960 --> 00:23:31.230 Magnolia's Great Grandmother. She, and of course, 00:23:31.230 --> 00:23:36.190 she's named after her. And boy, howdy. She can 00:23:36.190 --> 00:23:38.609 cross them arms across her chest and drop that 00:23:38.609 --> 00:23:41.230 head and look at you. She looked just like granddaughter. 00:23:41.430 --> 00:23:43.829 I've never seen an 84 -year -old in a two -year 00:23:43.829 --> 00:23:46.549 -old's body. Like, she's like, I'm like, damn. 00:23:46.809 --> 00:23:49.269 Like, granny was about four foot nothing. But 00:23:49.269 --> 00:23:53.450 she took no shit from nobody. And, like. My, 00:23:53.589 --> 00:23:56.190 okay, big old taught me how to, like, set the 00:23:56.190 --> 00:23:59.809 table and press the linens and get the lines 00:23:59.809 --> 00:24:03.329 in the carpet. And you only use, trust me, hairspray. 00:24:03.329 --> 00:24:05.410 And we only use Kirby vacuums. And we only use 00:24:05.410 --> 00:24:08.549 Lipton tea bags. Like, there's rules, you know. 00:24:08.930 --> 00:24:12.089 But Granny Dot gave us a $100 scratch off for 00:24:12.089 --> 00:24:14.569 Christmas every year and a holiday Barbie. And 00:24:14.569 --> 00:24:18.150 one year I won $85. And I think I was about eight 00:24:18.150 --> 00:24:19.809 years old. And I went down to Aunt Betty's store 00:24:19.809 --> 00:24:23.990 and I spent every. single bit of it on sixlets 00:24:23.990 --> 00:24:30.069 and Archie comic books. Sure did. And she taught 00:24:30.069 --> 00:24:33.390 me how to fish and how to smoke. And you probably 00:24:33.390 --> 00:24:34.849 didn't know that, but Granny Dot taught me how 00:24:34.849 --> 00:24:37.329 to smoke. She said, if you're going to do it, 00:24:37.349 --> 00:24:42.210 quit looking so stupid. I was like, okay. So 00:24:42.210 --> 00:24:44.009 that's the difference in one Granny and the other. 00:24:44.049 --> 00:24:45.769 And she taught you how to play cards. She taught 00:24:45.769 --> 00:24:49.910 me how to play cards. Oh, my character is literally 00:24:49.910 --> 00:24:52.089 Jeannie's house on a Friday night. Is it not? 00:24:52.970 --> 00:24:56.789 Jeannie had surgery, did I tell you? No. Yeah. 00:24:58.470 --> 00:25:01.329 She had the bad gallbladder. Bless it. Well, 00:25:01.390 --> 00:25:03.670 we all knew it was something. She has four kidneys, 00:25:03.769 --> 00:25:05.930 so we knew it wasn't that. She's supposed to 00:25:05.930 --> 00:25:08.069 be a twin. She can metabolize me a lot before 00:25:08.069 --> 00:25:10.069 it hits her liver. I swear to God she can. Then 00:25:10.069 --> 00:25:11.829 she'll look at my window and she'll go, Babe! 00:25:13.490 --> 00:25:17.259 Bring me another beer. And I love that sound. 00:25:17.440 --> 00:25:18.920 No, that's what I was talking about. My character 00:25:18.920 --> 00:25:22.160 is based on Jeannie and Wendell's house and Betty 00:25:22.160 --> 00:25:23.779 stopping by and Jackie stopping by and all of 00:25:23.779 --> 00:25:25.619 them smoking them cigarettes and I'm not ashing 00:25:25.619 --> 00:25:28.099 for like seven whole inches. And I was like, 00:25:28.140 --> 00:25:30.759 there's just a haze, a fog. And we're sitting 00:25:30.759 --> 00:25:32.200 at one table and everybody's around the kitchen 00:25:32.200 --> 00:25:34.660 table. Wendell's in there and everybody's hollering 00:25:34.660 --> 00:25:36.799 and laughing and cutting up. And it smells like 00:25:36.799 --> 00:25:39.420 green beans and bacon grease and palm oils. And 00:25:39.420 --> 00:25:41.880 like, I love, that's what my character is based 00:25:41.880 --> 00:25:45.079 on is that. And then Barbara stopped by. Barbara 00:25:45.079 --> 00:25:48.059 Honig. She stopped by. That little dog, Baxter. 00:25:48.319 --> 00:25:50.759 God, I loved that. I loved her so much. I thought 00:25:50.759 --> 00:25:53.720 she was part of our kin. She wasn't. I didn't 00:25:53.720 --> 00:25:56.160 send her a card. My ex -husband called that dog 00:25:56.160 --> 00:25:59.420 Baxter for a good weekend. And she said, hey, 00:25:59.500 --> 00:26:02.700 it's Baxter. Oh, she hated my ex -husband. So 00:26:02.700 --> 00:26:05.000 did Granny, to be fair. Granny was like, I don't. 00:26:05.119 --> 00:26:06.759 He said, you're supposed to be nice to your grandkids. 00:26:06.839 --> 00:26:08.619 She said, you ain't my grandkid. And I was like, 00:26:08.680 --> 00:26:13.859 oh, damn, Dot. Like, sick them. Language. That's 00:26:13.859 --> 00:26:17.660 what she said. I was quoting. I didn't say the 00:26:17.660 --> 00:26:20.759 other thing she said. Please don't ever repeat 00:26:20.759 --> 00:26:26.160 that in public. Oh, my Lord. When Mom smoked, 00:26:26.279 --> 00:26:30.960 she smoked Marlboro Light 100s. Yes. Who, me? 00:26:31.119 --> 00:26:34.160 Yes. No, just Marlboro 100s in the gold pack. 00:26:34.460 --> 00:26:36.880 That's Marlboro Light 100s. No, they weren't 00:26:36.880 --> 00:26:41.490 light. It was Marlboro 100s. Period. There was 00:26:41.490 --> 00:26:44.349 no Marlboro Light 100 to it. Well, now it's the 00:26:44.349 --> 00:26:47.809 Marlboro Light 100s. And the Ultralights and 00:26:47.809 --> 00:26:50.049 the Silver Pack. Dad smoked the same ones Sean 00:26:50.049 --> 00:26:53.730 does, the Marlboro Ultralight Short Pack. I smoked 00:26:53.730 --> 00:26:56.369 Marlboro Menthol Lights because when I started 00:26:56.369 --> 00:26:58.789 bartending in Nashville at 21 years old, and 00:26:58.789 --> 00:27:03.849 it was cheaper to smoke than eat, I noticed that 00:27:03.849 --> 00:27:05.450 on smoke breaks, people would be like, hey, can 00:27:05.450 --> 00:27:07.630 I bum smoke? And I would run through a pack of 00:27:07.630 --> 00:27:10.700 Marlboro Lights like that. And then I switched 00:27:10.700 --> 00:27:12.519 to menthols. And they're like, can I bum a smoke? 00:27:12.640 --> 00:27:13.579 I'm like, yeah, they're menthols. They're like, 00:27:13.579 --> 00:27:17.240 nah. That pack would last all week. So that's 00:27:17.240 --> 00:27:18.660 when I started smoking menthols. So now if I 00:27:18.660 --> 00:27:20.019 smoke anything else, it tastes like cardboard. 00:27:20.119 --> 00:27:21.799 I have to have an Altoid in my mouth if I run 00:27:21.799 --> 00:27:23.359 out of cigarettes. I like putting Altoid in my 00:27:23.359 --> 00:27:25.680 mouth and smoking cigarettes. I'm like, it's 00:27:25.680 --> 00:27:30.440 not the same. So anyway, Samantha said, she's 00:27:30.440 --> 00:27:35.880 right. They're just Marlboro 100s. She said, 00:27:35.920 --> 00:27:40.589 she's right. Well, listen, I made a boy cry at 00:27:40.589 --> 00:27:42.490 the Sheetz. Not the Sheetz. It was the BP in 00:27:42.490 --> 00:27:44.109 Lloyd one day. And that ain't even there no more. 00:27:44.150 --> 00:27:45.509 They bulldozed it and put it up Clark's Pumping 00:27:45.509 --> 00:27:51.869 Shop. Whatever it's called. Whatever. So I went 00:27:51.869 --> 00:27:53.730 in there that day. And at the time, I was trying 00:27:53.730 --> 00:27:56.029 to switch off Marlboros. And I was doing American 00:27:56.029 --> 00:27:58.670 Spirits. And I said, I'll take a pack of American 00:27:58.670 --> 00:28:03.150 Spirit greens. And he went. And he just walked 00:28:03.150 --> 00:28:06.690 off. And I was like. was it was it something 00:28:06.690 --> 00:28:11.009 i said on that commercial from 1970 so the assistant 00:28:11.009 --> 00:28:13.650 manager walks up she said it's his second day 00:28:13.650 --> 00:28:16.690 and we found out a while ago he is colorblind 00:28:16.690 --> 00:28:18.869 and i was like and you put him in a cigarette 00:28:18.869 --> 00:28:23.029 he just turned around just like nope i don't 00:28:23.029 --> 00:28:24.990 have no idea and american spirits is the worst 00:28:24.990 --> 00:28:26.990 because there's like 75 colors and it's like 00:28:26.990 --> 00:28:29.490 a creola box of cigarettes and he's just like 00:28:30.720 --> 00:28:32.859 Nope, can't do it. I dated a colorblind dude 00:28:32.859 --> 00:28:34.380 once, and Mom made me break up with him. She 00:28:34.380 --> 00:28:36.059 said, I do not want a grandchild that would not 00:28:36.059 --> 00:28:39.700 a rainbow if it bit him in the ass. And I was 00:28:39.700 --> 00:28:41.240 like, sorry, Nick, we've got to break up because 00:28:41.240 --> 00:28:44.539 you're colorblind. You don't even see how pretty 00:28:44.539 --> 00:28:50.900 my eyes are. He married a cerebeth. That's funny. 00:28:53.660 --> 00:28:55.700 So did David Doggett. He married a cerebeth. 00:28:57.769 --> 00:28:59.990 He did. It's not a lie. I was just saying people 00:28:59.990 --> 00:29:01.930 that I had dated also married to Sarah Beth. 00:29:01.990 --> 00:29:06.529 I just think that's funny. Happy Tuesday. Bless. 00:29:06.609 --> 00:29:09.849 Cynthia said bless it. They're all just crazy 00:29:09.849 --> 00:29:13.950 as hell. Why are you looking at me all squared? 00:29:13.990 --> 00:29:17.069 You used all the swear words in the dictionary. 00:29:17.430 --> 00:29:22.029 I haven't, though. I assure you. Well, so mom's 00:29:22.029 --> 00:29:23.849 going to have to do it. Are you handing me my 00:29:23.849 --> 00:29:26.980 pointer? So listen, I found this at the Dollar 00:29:26.980 --> 00:29:28.940 Tree today, and I think I'm going to use it to 00:29:28.940 --> 00:29:33.079 make points from now on. And you're just being 00:29:33.079 --> 00:29:36.279 weird. It's coming in at a weirdly slow increment. 00:29:38.640 --> 00:29:42.079 Like that hamburger helper. I want to be like, 00:29:42.200 --> 00:29:45.900 let me tell you something about you that you 00:29:45.900 --> 00:29:50.240 don't know. I don't even have to use my real 00:29:50.240 --> 00:29:52.039 finger. I want to be in traffic and be like. 00:29:53.779 --> 00:29:55.920 That's the wrong finger I want to hold up in 00:29:55.920 --> 00:29:59.819 traffic. Mom should get one of these. We could 00:29:59.819 --> 00:30:03.759 use it at church. We could use it for a yard 00:30:03.759 --> 00:30:10.019 sale. We could say I'm a stupid. Yesterday you 00:30:10.019 --> 00:30:11.980 called me a butthole. Today you called me stupid. 00:30:12.400 --> 00:30:14.700 I don't think I like being a guest on your show. 00:30:14.920 --> 00:30:19.279 Most people don't. I'm just kidding. I think 00:30:19.279 --> 00:30:23.819 I like... The other guy better. What's his name? 00:30:23.920 --> 00:30:26.480 I like the other guy better. The other one. The 00:30:26.480 --> 00:30:29.440 guy that's on there now. What's his name? Jimmy 00:30:29.440 --> 00:30:33.240 Fallon. I like him. I had no idea where that 00:30:33.240 --> 00:30:35.640 conversation was going. That plane was just not 00:30:35.640 --> 00:30:38.079 landing in the terminal. I thought it would just 00:30:38.079 --> 00:30:43.740 ride over it. Red Lick Road in the house. I fell 00:30:43.740 --> 00:30:50.039 overnight. Welcome. Welcome to the porch. Do 00:30:50.039 --> 00:30:52.160 you know it's organically or social medially? 00:30:54.119 --> 00:30:58.859 Does that work? Huh? I'm sorry, I was facing 00:30:58.859 --> 00:31:02.180 out because there's a cardinal. Is it a male 00:31:02.180 --> 00:31:05.859 or a female? It's a male. You can tell it's a 00:31:05.859 --> 00:31:10.319 male. Would you put the finger down? By its brightly 00:31:10.319 --> 00:31:15.220 colored plumage, women, female cardinals, are 00:31:15.220 --> 00:31:19.539 often muted and very brown. Those are facts. 00:31:19.799 --> 00:31:22.980 Here's another animal fact. Most coyotes are 00:31:22.980 --> 00:31:28.819 illiterate. Except that one. Yep, on the Looney 00:31:28.819 --> 00:31:32.960 Tunes, Wile E. He can read. And he ordered, you 00:31:32.960 --> 00:31:35.319 know, Acme was the prelude to Amazon. It was 00:31:35.319 --> 00:31:39.500 the series catalog. It really was. Wile never 00:31:39.500 --> 00:31:42.200 thought about that. Yeah. He could order anything 00:31:42.200 --> 00:31:44.779 from Acme and he'd be there like... There, right 00:31:44.779 --> 00:31:46.559 then. Like Wile E. Coyote was like the first 00:31:46.559 --> 00:31:51.789 prime member. Yeah. At me prime. And that roadrunner, 00:31:51.789 --> 00:31:54.069 they don't get that big. I think it was part 00:31:54.069 --> 00:31:58.230 ostrich. I'm telling you. Why did he only go, 00:31:58.309 --> 00:32:00.450 meep, meep? Why did he not have no speaking terms? 00:32:01.109 --> 00:32:03.190 And Wiley never say much, but there was also 00:32:03.190 --> 00:32:05.930 a wham. I worried about his mental health after 00:32:05.930 --> 00:32:08.069 that TBI that he had in that fourth or fifth 00:32:08.069 --> 00:32:10.710 episode. Are you kidding me? That's what it is. 00:32:11.049 --> 00:32:13.150 I thought that my rocker was off. I thought I 00:32:13.150 --> 00:32:16.150 was off my rocker. She was just banging me with 00:32:16.150 --> 00:32:20.599 a swing. I was trying to pay her back for smacking 00:32:20.599 --> 00:32:27.819 my neck. You had a skater bot. Anyway. Well, 00:32:27.839 --> 00:32:31.240 listen, I hate to leave good company, but you're 00:32:31.240 --> 00:32:34.000 going to have to hang up. They're asking questions. 00:32:35.799 --> 00:32:39.359 Like what's for supper, I bet. We have plenty 00:32:39.359 --> 00:32:42.140 of everything left over. We got that sausage 00:32:42.140 --> 00:32:47.119 and cabbage stuff. We have, do you have any pizza 00:32:47.119 --> 00:32:50.160 left? We got pizza from the little snaithers. 00:32:51.220 --> 00:32:53.859 I think we got plenty. If Jesus was here, this 00:32:53.859 --> 00:32:56.579 would make do for another two weeks. Don't you 00:32:56.579 --> 00:33:00.200 be looking at me like that. What? He split them 00:33:00.200 --> 00:33:02.359 loaves right up. May even have leftovers. Read 00:33:02.359 --> 00:33:06.480 your Bible. Anyway. Oh, your mama looks good. 00:33:06.519 --> 00:33:09.680 What part of Kentucky? Eastern Kentucky. Esther 00:33:09.680 --> 00:33:13.660 County. She can't say Eastern. Yes, I can. No, 00:33:13.660 --> 00:33:16.720 you can't. Uh -huh. See, she says Eastern. I 00:33:16.720 --> 00:33:21.920 said Eastern. See? Eastern. I'm not saying Eastern. 00:33:22.220 --> 00:33:25.799 Yes, you are. I'm saying Eastern. See? Eastern. 00:33:26.819 --> 00:33:30.799 I might go to Eastern Kentucky University when 00:33:30.799 --> 00:33:35.160 I grow up. No, you're not. You can't say it. 00:33:35.160 --> 00:33:36.259 You don't need it. That's why we don't have it. 00:33:36.339 --> 00:33:39.079 You can't say it. You can't go there. That's 00:33:39.079 --> 00:33:42.319 why I went to Transylvania. Because we could 00:33:42.319 --> 00:33:44.900 say that. I could say that one. Also, the only 00:33:44.900 --> 00:33:46.880 reason I went there is because I thought Mom 00:33:46.880 --> 00:33:48.680 would see the tuition and be like, go on to Nashville, 00:33:48.779 --> 00:33:52.220 Sarah. No, it did not happen to. I had went there 00:33:52.220 --> 00:33:53.859 for GSA and was familiar with the campus, and 00:33:53.859 --> 00:33:57.500 I don't like change. I'm a very big fan of homeostasis. 00:33:58.200 --> 00:34:01.519 So I was threatened by anything larger than the 00:34:01.519 --> 00:34:03.380 three city blocks that Transylvania stood on. 00:34:03.440 --> 00:34:05.059 And I already knew where the dorms and the cafeteria 00:34:05.059 --> 00:34:06.880 and the classrooms were, and I thought, this 00:34:06.880 --> 00:34:14.659 will do, pig. And then I went. Yay me. Fantastic. 00:34:15.460 --> 00:34:19.280 They started using the bat for our mascot now, 00:34:19.380 --> 00:34:22.360 even though we got in trouble for that when we 00:34:22.360 --> 00:34:23.780 was in college. Remember that me and Matt Roth 00:34:23.780 --> 00:34:26.059 threw up the Transylvania University vampires? 00:34:26.699 --> 00:34:29.179 Nothing was no funnier. We were the pioneers. 00:34:29.519 --> 00:34:33.420 Now they're the vampires. Nothing was no funnier 00:34:33.420 --> 00:34:37.670 than we had went over to your dorm. Me and your 00:34:37.670 --> 00:34:40.730 daddy. Freshman. And it was in January or February? 00:34:41.010 --> 00:34:44.710 When is Martin Luther King? January. And we got 00:34:44.710 --> 00:34:48.550 in the elevator and I thought, this is the first 00:34:48.550 --> 00:34:53.010 college west of that Alleghenies. Founded in 00:34:53.010 --> 00:34:56.289 1780. And supposed to be, you know, you're supposed 00:34:56.289 --> 00:34:59.369 to be pretty daggum smart to go to college. Especially 00:34:59.369 --> 00:35:02.650 that one. And the doors opened on the elevator. 00:35:04.110 --> 00:35:07.090 And it said, don't forget the feed -em march. 00:35:07.269 --> 00:35:11.090 The Martin Luther King feed -em march. F -E -E 00:35:11.090 --> 00:35:17.789 -D -O -M. Talk about feed -em. Mom's like, what 00:35:17.789 --> 00:35:20.510 is this? I was like, I don't know. I don't know. 00:35:20.610 --> 00:35:22.630 I said, golly, where's the feed -em march going 00:35:22.630 --> 00:35:25.230 to take place at? Probably down there on that 00:35:25.230 --> 00:35:28.389 boulevard named after him. I bet that they didn't. 00:35:29.369 --> 00:35:31.769 It was just hilarious. I was like, you misspelled 00:35:31.769 --> 00:35:35.829 that word? That word. Never, ever forget. Feed 00:35:35.829 --> 00:35:40.030 them. Feed them. It's about the brothers, Mark 00:35:40.030 --> 00:35:44.929 and Luther King. One was a preacher and one was 00:35:44.929 --> 00:35:47.909 a doctor. I was like, that's not, nope. Not even 00:35:47.909 --> 00:35:52.250 it. That's not close at all. Not even close. 00:35:53.010 --> 00:35:54.730 Somebody said, I want to be like Beth Ditton 00:35:54.730 --> 00:35:58.429 when I grow up. Well, do it. Andrea said, we're 00:35:58.429 --> 00:36:00.610 very blessed. If you have a message for Tammy, 00:36:00.789 --> 00:36:04.469 the phone lines is open. Junie said, how funny, 00:36:04.550 --> 00:36:07.750 beautiful lady. Who? June. She ordered a hat. 00:36:07.769 --> 00:36:12.349 She lives down near Memphis. Sunshine said she 00:36:12.349 --> 00:36:15.289 loves your cup colors. What you looking at, cross 00:36:15.289 --> 00:36:23.829 -eyed? Oh, he's taking off. All right, anyway. 00:36:24.349 --> 00:36:26.090 You'll see me Saturday. That means you're coming 00:36:26.090 --> 00:36:28.070 to the Appalachian Arts Festival in Inez, Kentucky. 00:36:28.369 --> 00:36:31.989 Where is it, Inez? Inez. Inez and you don't. 00:36:32.469 --> 00:36:34.449 Hey, isn't that where your daddy wrecked his 00:36:34.449 --> 00:36:37.809 motorcycle? Is it in Lee County? Nope. That's 00:36:37.809 --> 00:36:40.210 Bateville. I know it's Bateville, but isn't there 00:36:40.210 --> 00:36:42.230 a little community up there called Inez? No. 00:36:42.269 --> 00:36:47.090 No, it was called Ida Mae. Ida Mae. Inez is down 00:36:47.090 --> 00:36:53.010 off 23. Okay, Christopher Columbus. Do you turn 00:36:53.010 --> 00:36:55.789 right at the foot of the mountain or left? When 00:36:55.789 --> 00:36:57.170 you get to the end of the parkway, take a left 00:36:57.170 --> 00:36:59.110 and go north, and it's about another 20 miles 00:36:59.110 --> 00:37:01.090 up. It's really pretty. You know road numbers? 00:37:01.389 --> 00:37:04.389 I only know one road number. 75. That's why she's 00:37:04.389 --> 00:37:06.030 not going to see us, because you can't get to 00:37:06.030 --> 00:37:07.650 West Virginia on 75. Nope. She don't know how 00:37:07.650 --> 00:37:12.010 to get there. She's like, can't do it. Nope. 00:37:12.809 --> 00:37:16.849 Sending love from Tennessee. Hi, Kim. Oh, Becky 00:37:16.849 --> 00:37:19.170 said she used to have your hair, and she misses 00:37:19.170 --> 00:37:28.130 it. Now she's grown it out. My mom is from McHenry 00:37:28.130 --> 00:37:31.510 County. Where's that at? Is that in eastern Kentucky? 00:37:32.869 --> 00:37:34.789 Listen, there's 120 counties, and I only know 00:37:34.789 --> 00:37:37.030 about 15 or 20 of them because I've not been 00:37:37.030 --> 00:37:38.630 to all of them. That's what we should do, Sean. 00:37:38.730 --> 00:37:40.190 We should visit every single county in Kentucky. 00:37:41.489 --> 00:37:44.469 And you can buy a map, and you can take a highlighter, 00:37:44.789 --> 00:37:47.309 and then you can, okay, we've just passed through 00:37:47.309 --> 00:37:50.030 Clark County, and we've just passed through Montgomery. 00:37:50.860 --> 00:37:54.519 And we just passed through Bath and Elliott. 00:37:54.719 --> 00:38:00.500 And Hearts Bible and Tire. And Franklin. We passed 00:38:00.500 --> 00:38:02.980 a place called Hearts Bible and Tire right outside. 00:38:03.119 --> 00:38:04.340 I know you took a picture and sent it to me. 00:38:04.340 --> 00:38:07.860 It's so funny. It's like patching the, what do 00:38:07.860 --> 00:38:12.280 we say, getting you there? We came up with like 00:38:12.280 --> 00:38:14.460 10 or 15 different mottos. Sean's doing something 00:38:14.460 --> 00:38:17.780 totally different right now. Hello from Indiana. 00:38:17.980 --> 00:38:23.980 Hello from Kentucky. Charmaine said we make her 00:38:23.980 --> 00:38:27.179 heart happy from Belleville, Ontario, Canada. 00:38:27.500 --> 00:38:32.039 Hey! I've never been to Canada. I haven't either. 00:38:32.099 --> 00:38:36.340 I'd like to go. Well, I've never been to Canada. 00:38:37.760 --> 00:38:43.000 But I've been to Oklahoma. Me and Dad rewrote 00:38:43.000 --> 00:38:44.559 that song four or five times on the way to Louisiana 00:38:44.559 --> 00:38:47.900 once. McHenry, Kentucky. Somerset, Kentucky. 00:38:48.039 --> 00:38:53.110 Hello. Hello from Shelbyville. Hey, West Liberty. 00:38:53.670 --> 00:38:55.750 We played there, what was it, two years ago? 00:38:56.329 --> 00:39:00.670 Yes. We played for... The Sorghum Festival. No, 00:39:00.730 --> 00:39:03.070 that was the year before. We opened for Plush 00:39:03.070 --> 00:39:06.730 at that big concert. I marched in the Sorghum 00:39:06.730 --> 00:39:12.550 Festival. Yeah, sure did. Marched in the Sorghum 00:39:12.550 --> 00:39:17.289 Festival parade. Are we related to a family named 00:39:17.289 --> 00:39:22.170 Whaley? Not that I know of. What does your mama's 00:39:22.170 --> 00:39:28.989 tattoo say? Faith. Faith. She's such a bad mamma 00:39:28.989 --> 00:39:31.610 jamma. When she came to Nashville and she saw 00:39:31.610 --> 00:39:33.289 my tattoo, she said, I want to meet the person 00:39:33.289 --> 00:39:35.389 that did this to you. And I was like, cool. So 00:39:35.389 --> 00:39:37.769 I took her to my tattoo artist, and then she 00:39:37.769 --> 00:39:41.510 went home with a tattoo. But that's the one on 00:39:41.510 --> 00:39:44.539 my ankle. That's the feather pin. Do you remember 00:39:44.539 --> 00:39:45.900 we went through the store and found a Little 00:39:45.900 --> 00:39:48.199 Mermaid coloring book because we got the pen 00:39:48.199 --> 00:39:51.059 that Ursula used for Ariel's son, and that's 00:39:51.059 --> 00:39:53.719 her tattoo. Because it was the only feather pen 00:39:53.719 --> 00:39:55.780 we could find. And I was with you when you got 00:39:55.780 --> 00:39:58.039 your first tattoo, and I was with Ed when he 00:39:58.039 --> 00:40:01.739 got his first tattoo. I paid for his first tattoo. 00:40:02.820 --> 00:40:06.199 That was the bone collector one, wasn't it? And 00:40:06.199 --> 00:40:08.659 I got the red, white, and blue star on my leg. 00:40:10.959 --> 00:40:13.579 Then Dylan had done got the scorpion when he 00:40:13.579 --> 00:40:15.239 was in college, but me and him went together 00:40:15.239 --> 00:40:18.900 when he got his second tattoo and his Third or 00:40:18.900 --> 00:40:21.059 fourth we me and Dylan got a couple tattoos together 00:40:21.059 --> 00:40:23.119 at this point. I don't know if you knew that 00:40:23.119 --> 00:40:27.539 or not He got the I got the long with the Queen 00:40:27.539 --> 00:40:32.199 and he got the March to my own drum and we got 00:40:32.199 --> 00:40:35.360 this together when he came to Nashville and We 00:40:35.360 --> 00:40:36.840 went to three different Chinese restaurants to 00:40:36.840 --> 00:40:39.900 make sure it didn't say duck sauce It says same 00:40:39.900 --> 00:40:42.760 blood, means family. See, why didn't you just 00:40:42.760 --> 00:40:44.340 put that in there in English? Why'd you have 00:40:44.340 --> 00:40:46.559 to have it daggum Chinese? Because we thought 00:40:46.559 --> 00:40:49.239 it was a really great idea. Well, it was not. 00:40:49.579 --> 00:40:56.079 At the time. I mean, it was like 20 years, 16, 00:40:56.179 --> 00:40:58.820 15, 20 years ago. I have heartburn. It's a long 00:40:58.820 --> 00:41:02.619 time. You have heartburn? I'm sorry. Lori Louise 00:41:02.619 --> 00:41:07.199 says hello. Amy's in Bonneville. Hello. Big Coast 00:41:07.199 --> 00:41:09.460 Slurry Spill. Martin County INS. Carolyn, we 00:41:09.460 --> 00:41:12.239 will see you Saturday at the big festival. Tanisha's 00:41:12.239 --> 00:41:14.940 watching us from down in Columbus, Georgia area. 00:41:15.239 --> 00:41:18.820 Oh, yay. You ever heard of Need More West Virginia? 00:41:20.380 --> 00:41:24.000 No, I don't think I have. Let's go get some ink. 00:41:28.460 --> 00:41:30.539 I don't mean to be rude and keep checking my 00:41:30.539 --> 00:41:32.460 phone, but I was supposed to have gotten an email 00:41:32.460 --> 00:41:36.460 from my eye doctor today because my mother has 00:41:36.460 --> 00:41:39.099 to renew her driver's license this week, and 00:41:39.099 --> 00:41:42.019 because she's old as dirt, she has to have an 00:41:42.019 --> 00:41:48.619 eye exam paper. Well, I could swear I got... 00:41:48.619 --> 00:41:53.280 Oh, here she comes. I could swear I gave it to 00:41:53.280 --> 00:41:58.110 her, and she can't find it, so I... Called them 00:41:58.110 --> 00:42:00.369 and said, will you send me another one? Email 00:42:00.369 --> 00:42:03.710 it to me, please, because today's Tuesday, and 00:42:03.710 --> 00:42:06.710 I haven't received it yet. Okay, so we have to 00:42:06.710 --> 00:42:09.269 conclude because we definitely don't want her 00:42:09.269 --> 00:42:13.630 on here. Listen, we've got to get, but listen, 00:42:13.730 --> 00:42:15.489 remember, keep your Bibles open and pat it down 00:42:15.489 --> 00:42:17.010 your head on a swivel. We've got to visit with 00:42:17.010 --> 00:42:20.590 the O. And we will talk to you later on. Love 00:42:20.590 --> 00:42:22.570 you. Mean it. And remember, I'm Sarah Beth Terry. 00:42:22.809 --> 00:42:23.750 You're not. Bye.